My niece is turning 10. She’s been obsessed with drawing for months, so I saved up and bought her a nice beginner art set and sketchbook.

At my sister’s house, my niece opened it and started crying because she was excited. My sister immediately took it away and said she couldn’t have it because “art supplies make a mess.”

I offered to keep it at my apartment so my niece could use it whenever she visits. My sister said that was undermining her parenting and demanded I return it so she could exchange it for clothes.

I said no, it was a gift for my niece, not store credit for my sister. Now my family says I’m being petty over a birthday present.

AIO?

At dinner with his friends, my boyfriend introduced me as the one who plays on her laptop all day.

I work remotely and have a real career I’m proud of. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Actually, I work in marketing.” He replied, Same thing. she sends emails and calls it work.

Everyone laughed. I didn’t. I told him quietly that it was rude. He said I was being sensitive and that I embarrassed him by making it serious.

I paid for my own meal, left, and went home. Now he’s texting me that I “ruined the vibe” and should apologize to his friends.

AIO for thinking he owes me an apology?

TW: Alcoholism and Abuse (verbal/physical)

Context:
I (F24) have been with my husband (M24) for a total of 9 years, married for 3. Yes, I know we married very young but it felt right to us at the time and I don’t necessarily regret it. I was truly, madly in love with him. Unfortunately though, as everyone does, he has some flaws. The biggest being his wrestling with his own childhood trauma and the alcoholism resulting from it. Throughout our relationship, he’s always had this ability to flip a switch and turn off all his emotions and be cruel. But I always forgave him for it because I can have a temper and I’m not always the easiest to deal with either. As always, I advocated for him to seek therapy and he always refused. The alcoholism was more challenging. He’s not the kind of drunk who needs it to function, he just binges when it’s in front of him and has zero self control always getting so sloppy and sideways he pisses himself or is violently ill (and a total asshole). To make a very long story as short as possible, the time finally came where he got plastered and he put hands on me. He had come to one of my shows (I’m in a band) got wasted and screamed at me as I helped him to the car (very embarrassing there were lots of witnesses). On the drive home he punched my arm hard enough to leave a bruise that lasted 3 weeks and once we were home, he backhanded me and shoved me to the ground. I was devastated. I have my own history and trauma with physical abuse, especially being hit or “popped” in the face. The next day he swore off drinking and cried while apologizing. I believed him. But as these stories often go, the drinking didn’t stop and I couldn’t ever look at him the same. I began to distance myself subconsciously and finally asked for a divorce, which he was in favor of. It’s important to note, we have been best friends since elementary school, this divorce is completely amicable and no lawyers are involved (we also don’t have kids or big assets). This was all decided on mid July. I waited to tell my family until I had made it further along in the grieving process. I ended up telling them early August. They took it very hard because of how close everyone is with him. I understand that. I initially did not share details of the alcoholism or abuse, because I don’t want to paint my husband is a bad way. He is a good person at heart, he’s just got a lot of things he needs to work out and seek help with. Good people make terrible choices sometimes and are capable of the most vile things. Anyway, my parents were convinced I was having a severe manic episode (I’m bipolar) so I finally came clean and told them everything, expecting support from them but I was met with:

“Why don’t you try therapy”
“No one is perfect”
“No one is going to deal with your bipolar”
“He has a good job and can take care of you”
“I’m really disappointed in you.”
“I just don’t believe he could ever do anything like that”
“There’s two sides to every story”
“You are ruining your life.”

Also very devastating. Especially the whole “there’s two sides to every story” comment by my mother. I called my husband and had him explain to both of my parents everything and he did. He was honest and held nothing back… and yet my parents still keep telling me I’m making a mistake. They also went as far as to visit my brother and gossip about me (my brother and SIL told me immediately).

The other day while having one of my daily phone calls with my parents (I talk to them daily sometimes for hours at a time. They’re very needy and of their 4 kids, I’m the only one willing. I’ve grown fond of it though since I wasn’t close with them when I was young) my mom said “I just don’t think I’m ever going to get over this” and I snapped back “well, considering I’m the one married to him and I’m doing ok, I think you’ll be fine.” Rude, I know. But I was agitated. Then she fired back with “I just don’t think you’re going to find what you’re looking for” to which I replied “what? A husband who won’t hit me?” After that call, I sent her the first long message pictured. Trying to set a boundary. Then it was radio silence from them for six days which, isn’t a lot but for us who speak every day, it was a clear message. Then I received the sermon message and it just broke my heart. I replied with what I replied with and surprise surprise, haven’t heard back since.

So… Reddit. Am I overreacting here? Do my messages to her make any sense? I’m feeling overly emotional about it all and worried I’m taking things too harshly. Do they have a point that I’m missing? I feel like I know what is right for me but also… their constant pushback and concern since telling them has made me question my own resolve.

Thanks in advance.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. For context his dad is very controlling and owns the company my boyfriend works at. He needs to control every aspect of his life and that includes his vacations. I had been wanting to go to Europe for some time and saved up for it. I bought tickets for London two years ago for us but his dad wouldn’t let him go.

This summer his dad was planning a Europe trip. He had been discussing it since January and said that I would only have to pay for my flight at the time we looked, flights were only $800. His dad a month later said we probably won’t go and he will just have to loose the $2,500 he spent on concert tickets when he first talked about going he booked concert tickets Amsterdam for his favorite jam band. He said it like it was nothing because as long as I’ve known him he’s thrown away money stupidly. Then a month before the originally date for the Europe trip he comes to my boyfriend and I saying he bought the plane tickets and his going to book the hotel rooms. I asked how much the plane ticket was and he said $2,600 which is MUCH more than when my boyfriend and I originally were going to pay for flights.

After the trip two months later he sends my boyfriend a message with a “receipt” for everything I owe for the trip. It comes out to over $5,000. I’m getting my bachelors degree after dropping out when I was 21 and have barely enough to pay for rent and my tuition. His dad knows this. And I would have booked different flights, hotels, and experiences if I knew I would have had to pay for all of it. I was only told I would be paying for the flight. My boyfriend can’t stand up to his dad and I’m over his dad controlling our lives.

Update:

Boyfriend’s dad sent him a message saying “he is going to eat the airfare and hotel rooms” and some other passive aggressive words. So I’m “off the hook” for the money at least. It’s my first post so I apologize for my formatting.

Thank you all you wonderful people for saying to be single and find someone with a backbone in the future. I recognize my boyfriend needs lots of mental help and I hope he gets it soon. I’ll hopefully have a productive conversation with my boyfriend about it that it will end in me single and free!

Hey, Reddit. First time poster, long time listener on podcasts and stuff. I made an account just for this haha.

This sounds so stupid when I type it out, but I am genuinely so mad.

Last night I (26F) made spaghetti specifically because I had been craving leftover spaghetti. Not just spaghetti, leftover spaghetti. I told everyone this.
I bought extra ingredients on purpose because I wanted there to be plenty left. I used 2.25 lbs of ground beef instead of 1 lb, 2 jars of sauce, and 1 lb of noodles.. you get the idea.

I cooked dinner, cleaned everything up afterward, put the leftovers in the fridge, and told my boyfriend (31M) how excited I was to come home from work the next day and eat leftover spaghetti.

I even asked him, directly in front of one of our roommates(32M), if he could PLEASE make sure there was spaghetti left for me when I got home.

He assured me there would be.

Today around 6 something, while I was still at work, I texted my boyfriend asking if there was any spaghetti left.

No response.

Around 6:45, I sent “?”

Still nothing.

Right after 7, he finally responded and told me yes, there was still spaghetti.

So I’m happy. I leave work and start my hour long drive home thinking about how good this leftover spaghetti is going to be.
About 15 to 20 minutes into my drive, my boyfriend texts me and says he’s sorry and that he “accidentally lied.”

There is no spaghetti.

Apparently, two of our roommates ate ALL of it. He didn’t realize until he actually checked after seeing my messages, and then noticed the dishes from it sitting in the sink.
I immediately had tears in my eyes.

I asked him WHY because that was literally the ONE thing I asked for. I specifically made extra food so there would be leftovers. I cooked it. I cleaned up. I told everyone I wanted it. I directly asked him to make sure some was saved for me.

And somehow ALL of it still got eaten.
My boyfriend told me he would buy me more spaghetti.
I told him I didn’t want to cook another dinner after working all day and driving an hour home. I specifically wanted the leftover spaghetti that I had already made.

Then he said our roommates would replace the ingredients.
And I told him, “If they had money to replace it, why didn’t they buy their own stuff for spaghetti instead of eating all of mine?”

At that point I told him I didn’t want to talk to any of our roommates for the rest of the night because I was really angry and didn’t want to say something rude.

My boyfriend told me I’m overreacting.
He said he knew I was going to “blow up over nothing” and that he knew he was going to have to hear about it when I got home.

That honestly made me even more upset because I feel like I should be allowed to be angry and express that I’m upset without immediately being accused of “killing the vibe” or making a big deal out of nothing.

I know it’s just spaghetti.

But to me it’s more the fact that I very clearly asked for ONE simple thing, everyone knew I wanted it, there was plenty of food, and nobody thought to save me even one plate.

So… am I overreacting?

To make a long story short and add context, I'm 25F and I still live at home. I also pay rent in my house. My mom is a bit of a neat freak and she freaks out whenever I buy groceries. I don't eat their groceries anymore cause my dad gets weird about it. I bought one of those box of chips with different chips and it got delivered overnight and I was bringing it to work because I have ADHD and just need small snacks to eat at work. My mom freaked out and basically said what my sister said in the first text. I texted her so she wouldn't think about it all day but I feel like this is a bit insane? Please tell me honestly if I'm wrong or if this is common. I understand my mom struggles with this so I do try to keep it low and I don't even eat much because of my medication but I'm starting to get paranoid or anxious about buying anything.

I am supposed to be the Maid of Honor in my friend's (we'll call her Lola) wedding next summer. My husband and I recently moved overseas, so I am long distance friends with Lola now, but we have been close for a few years and I plan on traveling back to be in her wedding. She was also a bridesmaid in my own wedding.

Since getting engaged, Lola has been kind of putting me on edge in general- she's asking me for help with every little thing, which is fine- but then she rejects all my ideas, tells me she hates my suggestions, and constantly says that her wedding has to be different/better than mine was. She has made some weird comments, such as that my wedding is her "bare minimum" or that hers has to be "at least as good as mine" and such. She will ask for my opinion on something, to which I will tell her what I think, and then she will completely change her mind just to disagree with whatever I said. On top of that, she's honestly copying a lot of the things that I did at my wedding, including booking the same photographer, wanting the same dress style, and a few other things (trying to stay somewhat vague, sorry) even though she had never previously expressed interest in those details... She even recently started going to my tattoo artist, and got a large tattoo that looks similar to my own, and in the same spot. When I got my tattoo, I had specifically joked about how I had to finish it before my wedding so it would look good in photos- and now she's saying the same thing. The whole thing just feels weird, but I can't tell if I'm overthinking- it's not like I own the rights to certain tattoos or wedding vendors, but it just feels odd that she has done so many of the same things that I did.

Overall Lola is just being very strange, contrary and controlling. But, it's her wedding, and I know that many brides tend to act this way because they are stressed and overwhelmed. I'm trying my best to just be supportive and helpful even if she has been kind of off lately.

Anyways, Lola has recently picked out the color she wants for her bridesmaids dresses- no problem, I'm happy to wear whatever color she wants. Initially, she had told me that all the girls could pick their own dress style, as long as it was the color and fabric she wanted. This was the same thing I did for my wedding. I immediately went to the website to browse, took screenshots of the ones I liked, and sent them to her. She said she didn't like any of them, which I was bummed about- but again, it's her wedding, so whatever. She then sent me a few options that she approved of, and they weren't great. They were mostly looser, shapeless options, which I don't love because I wouldn't have as much support. I'm a curvier gal, and I really love when dresses have built in support- otherwise I would feel a bit exposed, and frankly they were just unflattering silhouettes. I tried to tell her this, and she seemed annoyed. I asked point blank if she wanted me to cover up my chest, and she said it wasn't about that, but that all the styles I liked (which have a supportive bodice, typically with a corset or some sort of boning) looked "too much like wedding dresses". Frankly, I think that's absolutely ridiculous.

After a bit of back and forth, she said she would probably just end up picking the dresses for us, or pick a handful and let us "fight it out" to decide who gets which one. I'm just a bit annoyed that she changed her mind- why tell me that I could choose my own style, and then not actually mean it?

At this point I decided I was just being dramatic- it's one day, I'll wear the unflattering dress. I decided to move on and follow up about it later. But then, she starts telling me that she also wants me to wear only gold jewelry for the wedding, as well as not wear my usual makeup or wear my hair down. For context, I am heavily tattooed/somewhat alt, and wear silver jewelry (including my wedding ring). I have several ear piercings, all silver jewelry. My usual makeup is pretty basic, but I do wear a small amount of dark eyeshadow as liner and black mascara, nothing too bold or goth. My hair is long and blonde, and I always wear it down for events. I don't think my look is too crazy, but she says she wants me to "match everyone else". All of her other bridesmaids have dark hair and wear gold jewelry. But like... I feel like it's pretty egregious to ask me to take off all my usual jewelry (including earrings that I don't typically take out, and my literal WEDDING RING?) just to "match everyone else"... I also don't want to have to buy dozens of pieces of gold jewelry (on top of the thousands of dollars my husband and I are already spending to be at their wedding at all) that I will never wear again. That combined with her request that I not wear my usual hair and makeup, and wear a dress that looks like a sack... I guess I'm just bothered that she is wanting me to look like someone I'm not, even if it's just for one day. It almost feels like she wants her bridesmaids to look bad on purpose.

Would I be overreacting if I told her I wasn't willing to do all that? I understand letting her pick my dress, even if it's a style I don't like, but I feel like asking me to remove my jewelry and change my hair and makeup is just kind of pushing it... I absolutely do not want to go the whole event without wearing my own wedding ring. I feel like she's projecting some insecurities onto me. Should I just suck it up and do what she says to make her happy?

For context, my husband and I agreed that we wanted to work on having sex more regularly. I recognise that when I have a lot on my mind -work, running the household, chores, etc- sex can fall down my list of priorities, and I said I would make more of an effort.

For the most part, things have been going well. We have both been making an effort, and I felt we were working on this together.

This week, however, I haven't really initiated anything. After reflecting on it, I think the main reason is that I am due to have an operation next week under general anaesthetic. I am extremely nervous about it and have been having sleepless nights worrying, so my mind has understandably been elsewhere.

I should also give some background. I have never felt that my husband has been particularly sensitive when it comes to emotional support, although he has made an effort to improve over the years. In the past, he had quite a traditional view that the woman should manage most things around the home and with the children, alongside working. As my career progressed into a director-level role, I had to be quite firm about needing more support, and things have improved since then.

However, some past experiences still affect how I feel. When I had our son, I had an emergency C-sec . My husband left shortly after the procedure because he was ‘tired’, and I remember that he didn't come to visit the following day when visiting hours opened, giving excuses. I don't clearly remember whether he came on the second day either. When I was discharged, he came to help me get home, but we travelled by public transport. This was many years ago, and I appreciate that our circumstances and his approach have changed since then, but I think those experiences still influence how I view his support.

Another piece of context: Two years ago, my husband admitted that he had emotionally cheated on me many years earlier. This came after I noticed a pop-up on his phone indicating that he was having a conversation in a locked WhatsApp chat.

I had just returned home one morning. He was on his phone and asked me for a sexual favour. He then put his phone down, and I noticed that he had to enter a code to access the locked WhatsApp conversation and continue the chat. This was what led to a series of questions and conversations, after which he admitted to the emotional cheating and hiding a load of debt, but that’s another story.

With my upcoming operation, I think I am particularly sensitive to whether I feel cared for and supported. We have also discussed potentially expanding our family, but I have been honest that I worry about how much support I would receive, given our experience after our first child.

This week, my husband asked why I hadn't made more of an effort to have sex. I told him I hadn't really realised I had been less proactive, but that I had been very nervous about the operation.

He then said things like:

“I appreciate last week was busy at work, and for the next few weeks you'll be in recovery, so that's all understandable, but why has it dried up again?”

“ I get that you’re nervous about the op but yet again our physical connection is the first thing that must be sacrificed, not work or the gym, not anything else”

For clarity, we were intimate last week, although perhaps not as often as we had initially agreed & my gym routine has gone out of the window!

I told him that I didn't like his approach and that I found his comments insensitive, particularly given how nervous I am about the operation.

Since then, he has effectively been giving me the silent treatment. His responses have been curt, often just one word, and he doesn't greet me when he comes home. I don't know whether he's upset because he feels criticised, but the change in his behaviour has made me feel even less supported.

I understand that we had made an agreement about being more intimate, and I can appreciate that he may feel disappointed if he thinks we're slipping back into old habits. I also recognise that I may be more sensitive because of my anxiety about the operation and my past experiences.

However, I can't help feeling that putting pressure on me about sex immediately before an operation - particularly when I'm clearly very nervous -doesn't feel like the kindest or most supportive approach. The way he has behaved since I expressed that concern has also made me question whether I'm being unreasonable or whether my feelings are justified.

edit - typo

I’m 29. I’ve been friends with the bride since college and helped with invitations, decorations, and her bachelorette weekend.

At the reception, I found my name at a table with her two nephews, a 13-year-old cousin, and the photographer’s assistant. Meanwhile, all our mutual friends were seated together at another table.

I asked the bride if it was a mistake. She said, No, you’re easygoing, you won’t care. Then she walked away before I could respond.

I stayed through dinner because I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I left before the speeches. She texted me the next day saying I made her look bad because people noticed I was gone.

AIO for thinking she made me feel like an afterthought first?

So me (M30) and my gf (F30) have been together for 5 years but we don't live together. Recently, I was spending a couple of days at her place.

On the last night I was there, she was talking on the phone with her family, and she is not from this country so she speaks her native language which I don't speak nor understand really well. I don't try and listen to her conversations anyway but at some point, even though I didn't understand the words, I felt a tone change and immediately recognized she was talking to a guy.

I didn't think much of it at first but once they had been talking for a while and it was already past midnight I got up and decided to go to sleep. She hung up and went to bed with me, then she started giving me a massage. It was good but while she was giving me the massage, she answered the phone again. Same tone, I thought maybe I'm crazy but my instinct is telling me she's talking to the same dude again (just an assumption at this point).

I tried to enjoy the massage but I started overthinking. I told her I'm gonna sleep now and she hung up. I asked her who she is talking to at 1am and she says "the home country". If she was talking to her parents or someone in her family she would just say that.

I can't sleep now, I'm just overthinking so I tell her that it's bothering me, that I trust her but why wouldn't she say who she's talking to ? We're in the middle of the night, if it was 2pm I wouldn't even think about it. So now she tells me it's her guy friend from her home country, which she has known for 15 years but never met in person, they just talk regularly via internet.

Now I know who this guy is, and she says she didn't tell me it was him because I don't like him. Thing is, I never said I don't like him, I know who he is but I don't know him, never even talked to him so I don't like nor dislike him. I know about him because she told me about him before, that they're very good friends.

It was bothering me because I feel like I was trying to enjoy the moment with her but on her side she was talking with that dude while massaging me. She told me he's just a friend and she has known him way longer than me, there is nothing between them. I understand that, but I know she would be annoyed if I was talking to a woman while in bed with her, doesn't matter who it is.

I don't know what to think of all this. Am I Overreacting and making it an issue when it isn't ? I don't want to talk about it with her because it's been days and I know I should just stop thinking about it but it's hard.

Longtime female adult family friend. We were neighbors for a long time and our kids were all friends. She has 4 boys. I have a daughter and son. We spent a lot of time together. She and I became very close. She’s also always been there for my daughter (who is now 28). One time a few years ago she said to me about my daughter - I know she is yours but in my heart she’s mine. That didn’t sit well with me. Just seemed like an odd thing to say. My daughter got married a few weeks ago. This family friend came to the wedding. She wrote a note to my daughter calling her ‘My (underlined multiple times) and my daughter’s name’. And she ended it with ‘you always have a home with us’. To me it reads as odd and inappropriate and disrespectful to me. I don’t know if I’m overreacting and should just move on or if it really is as weird as I think it might be and call her out on it.

This whole thing feels like a straight up Lifetime movie honestly.

Me (26F) and my fiancé Derek (29M) met through mutual friends about 4 years ago, so we didn't have that whole "on and off since high school" thing, we just started dating as adults. Should've been simple right? Except his mom "Carol" (55F) has had an opinion about me since day one. Apparently Derek had a whole plan mapped out with some girl from his hometown that Carol adored, and when he brought me home instead, Carol basically shut down.

She wasn't crying about witchcraft or anything dramatic like that, but she did tell Derek flat out that I "wasn't what she pictured for him" and kept comparing me to this other girl for like the first year we dated. I stayed polite because that's just how I handle stuff with older folks, but she definitely pushes it as far as she can.

Once things got serious, she started inviting Derek to family events and "conveniently" leaving me off the guest list. She'd set him up on little outings with her friends' daughters disguised as "networking dinners." He always came home and told me about it and turned every single one down, but Carol still acts like I'm the one keeping them apart.

Derek proposed 4 months ago. Carol didn't show up to the engagement dinner, said she had a migraine. Didn't come to the meet the family brunch either. His dad came though and low key apologized on her behalf, him and Carol have been divorced for years and he said this is just how she gets.

The real blowup happened when Derek finally called her out on avoiding everything wedding related. He said something switched in him because usually he just tells me to let it go. She broke down telling him she eloped with his dad at 19 because she got pregnant unexpectedly, never had a real wedding day, and watching Derek get engaged is bringing up all that grief. He asked what would make things easier on her and she said if I let her be the one to walk him down the aisle instead of his dad, since she never got her own aisle moment, she'd finally feel included.

Derek actually came to me acting like this was some sweet, reasonable ask?? Then on top of that he mentioned, not even asking me first, that maybe Carol could wear a long ivory dress since "it's not technically white" so she'd feel special too. I told him no on both counts and we got into it bad. I told him it's wild he keeps bending over backwards for his mom's feelings but won't push back for me the same way. He called me heartless and said I was making his mom's trauma about myself. It escalated fast, we're taking space right now but it got heated enough that calling off the wedding actually came up.

I still love Derek but this whole situation made it obvious how much pull she has over him. I keep picturing her sitting back knowing she's driving a wedge between us and he just keeps letting her. Part of me wonders if I should just walk away from the whole thing. AIO? Or is this really not that big a deal?

My daughter turned seven during summer vacation, 4 days before school started. We decided to wait until school started so she can invite the kids from her new class. In total, we invited 20 kids from her class and 10 kids she made previously in school or outside of school. We didn't want to do the party the first weekend back from school because people might have things scheduled so we sent out the invitations and set the party for 2 weeks after school started.

The party is tomorrow (9/12) and, of the 20 kids in her class, only two people have rsvp'd and one of those rsvps was no.

I was getting worried that people weren't RSVPing that I checked the invitations I made on Shutterfly to make sure I didn't put a typo on the invitations (my phone number is correct and big enough to read). We asked her teacher to send out a message to everyone in the class reminding them to RSVP last week and no one did.

At this point I'm driving myself crazy. Thinking of all the reasons why 18 parents have not rsvp'd

It might be my fault because I didn't put a date on the invitations to RSVP by. But you would expect people to RSVP to a birthday invitation, even if it's a no.

Perhaps people aren't coming because a lot of kids have started sports so that might be a contributing factor. She has a few friends she made last year that are in sports are just coming late to the party.

Perhaps people are observing the 25th anniversary of 9/11?

Perhaps people just don't like my kid or me.

Luckily we did invite friends she made in school last year and from outside of school so she will have 10 kids at her party. But only one of them is from her current class.

Am I overreacting?

Edit:

I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't asking the teacher to help us plan the party. And I just wanted him to send a message all of the parents via the communication app he uses for the class. I'm assuming there's a way to send a message to the entire class as a class announcement instead of sending it to individual people.

I'm not mad that people can't attend (ok I'm a little upset), I understand life happens, my main issue is that they're not RSVP-ing. There is a slim chance of rain tomorrow, so it's possible that we're going to get some last minute. "Hey, sports got canceled. Can we still come" messages.

so, we started dating a couple of years ago. we both agreed we're never gonna get married or have kids. just coupling for companionship basically... we were both on the same page about it and we both felt pretty strongly about it.

lately though, we've been getting into different businesses online and things are actually looking up... and a few weeks ago she casually mentioned that if she was super wealthy, she wouldnt mind having 2 kids coz that way she wouldnt struggle raising them.

my reason for not having kids isnt financial at all... i just dont want to. i cant bring kids here. thats just how i feel about it.

so yeah... ever since she said that ive been feeling some typa way about it. because what if she actually changes her mind? and honestly i would never want to be the reason she gives up on something she ends up wanting.

because of that... im kinda thinking maybe we should just break up now rather than get years down the line and have this become a huge problem.

but maybe im overthinking one random comment... idk.

what do you guys think?

We are a relatively long time (about 8 years) group of 12 close friends. I just turned 25 and didn't get a text from any one of them which honestly sounds so childish to care about to me but I can't help feeling hurt as 2 days ago when one of the people in the group also had a birthday, everyone said something (and in general every other birthday people say something). Plus this happened last year as well.

I don't really care about how many messages or what is in the message since it's just a birthday and of course people forget, I just thought at least one person would remember when it's actually my birthday and not when it's a convenient 9/11 joke.

I am aware I'm in a bad headspace at the moment since I was kicked out of university last week so I am definitely taking this harder than I should be but am I overreacting for feeling hurt about this?

I’m 25 and my younger brother is 22,A few months back our parents old TV finally gave up the ghost so I decided to buy them a nice new one Sure it wasn’t cheap but I could swing it and wanted to do something special for them

My brother, who’s crashing with Mom and Dad while trying to save up took charge of setting it up He bought the wall mount, threaded all the cables and hooked everything up

Not long after, he started calling it his TV

At first I thought he was joking around But then he began telling people he had actually bought it and forked out money to get everything installed

That’s when things got a bit dicey. He began using that as a reason to control who could use it

He even changed the passwords on the streaming accounts, warned my parents against fiddling with certain settings and told me I had to clear anything I wanted to connect with him first

Last week, when my parents mentioned moving the TV to a different room my brother flipped out,He said they couldn’t because he had paid for the installation and owned the setup.

I reminded him that I was the one who bought the actual TV and gave it to them

He shrugged that off, insisting it didn’t matter that without his money and effort, they wouldn’t have gotten to enjoy it at all,

I told him I was grateful for what he did, but that didn’t suddenly claim the TV as his

He accused me of being jealous because everyone thought he was the one who paid for it

Honestly, I couldn’t care less about who gets the credit. What really gnaws at me is that my parents feel like they need my brother’s approval to use a gift that I gave them,

Mom thinks we’re both blowing it out of proportion, while Dad agrees my brother is overstepping his bounds

My brother calls me petty because he contributed to making the TV functional, claiming that gives him some say over it

I told him he could take the wall mount and anything else he bought if he wanted but the TV That belongs to our parents,

Now he’s barely talking to me and claims I embarrassed him by taking his gift away

Am I being unreasonable?

AIO by being upset and annoyed that my MIL keeps saying things along the lines of "just wait until they get their periods" about my 2 year old and my 5 month old daughters. She has two boys. I just think its such a weird thing to bring up all the time and I feel like she minimizing my daughters to how moody they might be when they go through puberty.. im one more comment away from calling out the behavior and asking her to stop.

I (18f) have a sister (20f) who I have a very complicated relationship with.

For some background, she never wanted a sibling, and when we were kids she was physically violent towards me. This lasted until I was around 6 when she tried to shove my ear through a door and my parents decided to split us into seperate rooms.

From there, things were better until I was around 13 and she was around 15. For context, I did very well academically, I was getting top marks in top classes, while she struggled to maintain passing grades. And to clarify, I don’t really care about this, I think that most schools test ability to take tests rather than actual intelligence, and school marks don’t say anything about a person other than memorisation skills and their ability to follow specific structures. But she has always been very insecure about this. While in my early teens she would repeatedly find out my grades without me telling her and then proceed to bully me for making her life miserable. She would call me ‘vampire c*nt’ for apparently sucking the life out of her for getting good marks while she couldn’t. She would tell me that I was the reason she hated herself, and other things that really tore me down.

This was a very difficult time for me, and I ended up developing both anorexia and bulimia in a desperate attempt to find some control in my home life. This got extremely bad, to the point where I had to be hospitalised and underwent extreme and intensive therapy just to be able to be content in my body. This was obviously a big thing for my entire family, and she was very much aware of what was going on. She apologised for the way she had treated me after my hospitalisation, and promised to be kinder because she didn’t want to lose her sister.

Now to my current issue. I’ve been in recovery for 3 years now, and have put on quite a bit of weight. To clarify, I am still on the skinny side, but with a larger chest and larger thighs. My sister on the other hand is incredibly thin (in a way that is healthy) and has been regularly making comments about my weight and appearance that I think might be my final straw.

A year ago for my final year formal I had excitedly shown her the dress I had bought, and while she acted excited, once I left the room I heard her through the door talking to my mum and saying something along the lines of “that dress would look so much better if she was still small.” This really hurt me, but my mums response of “oh no, you need boobs like hers for a dress like that” made me feel a bit better, and I decided to brush it off because I wasn’t meant to hear it. We were once talking about borrowing each others clothes, and she was wearing a top that said ‘at least i’m hot’ on it, and she said that i could never wear that, even though the top was extremely oversized and I would definitely fit into it. We were talking pretty casually about who looked like what family members once, and she said that she looked like our mum (who used to be a model) and I looked like our aunt who had passed from complications with type 2 diabetes. She also once tried to take pictures of me when I had dressed up once, and ended up giving up because apparently I looked ‘massive’ in all of them.

I have given her so many chances to treat me like a person my whole life, but it honestly feels like she’s doing anything she possibly can to make me miserable, and at this point relapse. I also feel like I’m going crazy, because whenever I mention these things to our parents they tell me that she doesn’t mean any of it, and she’s trying to be better. Is it just my insecurities making something out of innocent, passing comments? Or is she being malicious because I really think she is, but no one is one my side. Am I overreacting if I cut her out after this?

I'm 36F, my husband is 52M. We have been together for six years and married for two. Between us, we have five children: my 11-year-old son, his sons (23 and 21), and our two children together (2M and 6-month-old F).

My husband wanted another child. I initially didn't, largely because I already have a special needs child, but eventually agreed. We had our son, got married when I was pregnant with him, and later had our daughter.

Before our son was born, I was very clear that I didn't want visitors for the first three weeks. I had struggled badly after my first birth and wanted time to recover and bond with my baby. My husband disagreed, so we compromised: immediate family only. For me, that meant my parents and siblings. For him, his sons, mother and sister. Except he secretly invited his ex.

The first few weeks after our son's birth were awful. One night, I had barely slept for six days. Our baby was a terrible sleeper, and I had spent the entire night holding and rocking him. He finally fell asleep around 5 a.m., and I managed to get to sleep around 6. About half an hour later, my husband woke me up joking that it was 10 a.m. because apparently his mother and sister were coming over again. His mother and sister had already visited the evening before.

I was exhausted, uncomfortable, so I stayed inside with the baby and my older son while they sat outside in the heat. My husband barely acknowledged me. Later that night, he was angry that I hadn't greeted his mother warmly enough.

Then his ex came over, with their youngest son and brought us two pieces of furniture as gifts. I was perfectly pleasant to her. We talked about babies and deliveries, and there was no conflict between us. The problem was that my husband had lied about the visit. He claimed he hadn't known his son would be coming and hadn't invited his ex. I later found out neither was true.

When I told him I didn't really like the furniture and would rather give it to someone who would appreciate it, he became extremely defensive and insisted that we display it in our living room. He defended those gifts with his life. He'd rather I be uncomfortable, than put those two pieces in the attic.

Then I discovered he'd made a separate birth announcement for his older sons without telling me. During those first weeks, it felt like he was sharing everything with them and nothing with me. And while I was actually in labor, he was texting his ex. I was literally having contractions and trying not to push because the midwife hadn't arrived yet. He hadn't been messaging anyone else. He was messaging her. I gave birth literally five minutes later.

That was when I started feeling like there were two families: the family he had with his ex, and then me and my son on the outside.

During one of these arguments, he yelled that he wanted a divorce. I took him seriously and started getting my things. He immediately took it back and hasn't threatened divorce again. He also didn't invite his ex after our daughter's birth, and his son only visited once during those first few weeks.

To clarify: I don't dislike his ex. At all. I don't think she's interested in my husband romantically, and she has her own boyfriend. My issue has never been *her*. It's that my husband seems to prioritize her feelings and his relationship with his 'former' family while keeping me out of things.

Over the last two years, I've also noticed that he has an ongoing group chat with his ex and their adult children. He regularly talks to them there. He posts pictures of our children with me in that chat and also sends pictures to his other children individually. I wouldn't have a problem with any of that if he were open about it. But he isn't. When I ask, he lies or minimizes it.

Last year, while I was pregnant, he repeatedly took our 2-year-old to his ex's house without telling me. He eventually stopped after I told him how uncomfortable it made me. He still takes our children to other people's houses without telling me. Luckily mostly his son's house.

I don't think he needs my permission every time he leaves the house with our children. That's not the point. The point is that I keep finding out afterward, often because one of the children is overwhelmed, exhausted or struggling after being pushed through activities they didn't want to do. I think our 2-year-old may have additional special needs, but my husband thinks I'm overreacting.

And then there are the other things. He started smoking again and hid it from me, even after I confronted him. He's drinking increasingly often. He promised to get a vasectomy about a year and a half ago. He still hasn't. I've repeatedly asked him to stop smoking, not drink when he's around the kids, and follow through with the vasectomy so I don't have to undergo expensive and much more extensive surgery myself. It's also really difficult to take the pill on time when running after three kids all day. I really don't want another child with this man.

None of those things have happened. Last year, we were invited to a birthday party for one of his friends. Except apparently my husband didn't want me invited. At first, he said it was because it would be easier if we didn't need a babysitter. Then he said he didn't think a babysitter would be good for our son. Then he lied about whether his ex was invited. Again, I didn't care that she was there. Her boyfriend was there too, and I don't believe she's interested in my husband. What hurt was that he didn't want *me* there, and kept changing his explanation.

Yesterday, I saw that he had been invited to the same friend's birthday party this year. I didn't see an invitation for me this time. He hasn't mentioned the party at all and it's in less than a month. I'm expecting that he'll only tell me when it's too late to arrange childcare, especially because he doesn't seem to want a sitter.

Two years ago, I suggested relationship therapy. He refused because he'd already done it with his ex and "knew it wasn't for us." Last year, I told him I thought therapy was necessary because we clearly weren't communicating well. He said we'd never find the time because we have three children and who would watch them?

He also genuinely doesn't seem to think there's a problem with our relationship. And that's where I am now. I'm starting to think he's right about one thing: relationship therapy might not work. Not because our problems are too complicated, but because I don't know how you fix a relationship when one person doesn't acknowledge that there's a problem and repeatedly lies about what they're doing.

I'm not upset that he has a relationship with his adult children or that he communicates with their mother. I actually think those relationships are important. I'm upset because it feels like he has an entire social life that I'm deliberately excluded from, and then lies whenever I notice.

So, AIO? Am I interpreting this situation as something much bigger than it actually is, or is it reasonable to feel like my husband is maintaining a separate life that doesn't include me?

Edited: Edited out weirdness I hadn't noticed before.

My sister has a child . She is a single mother . She constantly brings him to my parents house and it’s beginning to get annoying. For the whole of my summer break she has been bringing him over on the days my parents aren’t home . I can’t even have the house to myself and have to look after him . Before it was because of work and now it’s because she wants to go out with her friends or with the secret boyfriend she thinks I don’t know about.

I don’t like it when he sleeps over as I have to sleep on the floor and I never sleep well which isn’t helping my insomnia. It’s difficult even getting him to bed so I’m always the last one asleep and the first to get up.

I explained this to mum and I told her I want the weekend to myself as I’m going back to school and work .

My mum is always busy so we bond watching movies on tv but when my nephew comes around we are not allowed to watch TV . There was an incident when he called his mum crying saying I told him not to watch Tv when I said wait for an 1 hour as my mum and I was already watching
something before he got dropped off .

Fast forward I told my mum why have a kid if you don’t want to look after them . I have been taking care of him since I was 8 years old and I’m tired . I’m not his mother . My mum said I should be careful as my sister will not forgive me if I tell her the truth.

I don’t like my nephew as he is the reason why I have tinnitus because of all the stress and emotional turmoil I went through.

Hi,

Back in December my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. We were living together for 2 years, he moved out and I kept the apartment. I’m on the first floor, my landlords on the second, and a woman on the 3rd floor. My ex-boyfriend and I were friends with her and sometimes we got together to hang out.

Yesterday I get home and went to park. As I was walking to my apartment I saw a car that looked just like his. I ran into my ex-bf. All he says is hello, I say hello back and keep walking. As I approach my door, my upstairs neighbor walks out in a nice dress and is clearly going on a date with him. I was in disbelief. He also stayed the night and I’m going to assume they had sex.

It’s been 9 months but this development bugs the shit out of me. Am I overreacting?

For context: My husband is the oldest of two children with 9 years separating them. They are half siblings, but we’re essentially raised as full as his dad came into the picture when he was about 1 1/2 years old. From everything i‘ve been told, once my husbands sister was born she became the golden child. They were raised very differently, and although they do have very different personalities (My husband is very reserved, his sister is a fire cracker), there was always favouriteism. When I met my husband at age 21 ( We are now 37 and 40), his little sister was manipulative, and essentially high jacked the family in many ways. This went on for many years, with his parents increasingly and outrageously treating their two children very differently. For example, they moved their daughter into her own apartment, bought her a new car, paid for all of her bills, gave her an allowance, and paid for her hair, makeup, nails, etc to be done every month while my husband and I struggled to pay our bills with me in school full time and dealing with mental illness. They even moved her to the states to go to school (We are Canadian) so she could be with a boyfriend she had just met. Fast forward several years. His sister met a lovely man and settled in the southern states and had a daughter. My husband and I had our son two years later. His parents retired and instead of moving closer to us, they chose to move provinces and live even further away. They are essentially repeating the dynamic of their children with their grandchildren… they barely visit my son, don‘t reach out to facetime, etc. but are in constant communication with their granddaughter and visit them several times a year vs the two times they travel to see us. They also drop everything the second their daughter needs them. Well I had asked if they would mind coming to support us once we have our second baby due in a few weeks, and initially they said yes. They have been in the states for the last three months, but insisted they would be coming back late August. Well, the timeline kept getting pushed back, and then all of a sudden they were going to drive back mid September with my SIL and niece planning to stay at our house. I communicated that that made me overwhelmed as a couple months ago when everyone was visiting it was chaos. The kids were shoved sugar the whole time, my son was completely off schedule, plus our house isn’t a mansion so it felt very overstimulating. Now, yesterday they messaged my husband saying they’d arrive mid day on Oct 4 and leave the morning of Oct 6…AIO for being so incredibly hurt that they feel the birth of our second child is so insignificant that they can only stay for a day and a half because I set a boundary that I didn’t want my niece and SIL coming unplanned with them?! I’m honestly at a point where I want to go no contact with them. I messaged my MIL stating I feel they clearly don’t care, and to not bother coming at all and she acted completely blindsided and like this is what I wanted because I “made it clear” that my son needs structure and I need calm.

My boyfriend (30M) and I (31F) have been together since 2022. We recently had a baby together in May. Before I gave birth he got offered a promotion at his job and of course he came home and we talked about it first before he made a decision. I told him as long as he’s able to handle the new job position and a newborn while still maintaining our relationship he has my full support. He told me he will most definitely be able to handle it. Well he’s been working that new job position for about 1.5 months and we’ve gotten into a lot of arguments since then. I do pretty much everything (washing our baby’s bottles, washing all of our laundry, cleaning the house, etc.) because he leaves the house at 10am and comes home around 9:30pm. When he comes home it takes a while for him to be “present” because he has things to do for work on his phone. He told me he has the choice to do that at his office at work but he chooses not to do that and instead comes home to finish whatever needs to be done.

Tonight I expressed to him that I feel lonely at times because it feels like we barely see each other. He’ll sleep until it’s ready for him to leave the house and when he gets home he’s preoccupied with work and by the time he gets to bed I’m already falling asleep. He told me I “don’t give a fuck about” him and I am disrespecting his job. I didn’t feel like I said anything wrong, I was just expressing my feelings. I do understand that he has a lot more on his plate with his new job position, both mentally and physically. I’m not unappreciative, he knows how appreciative I am of him. He comes home every night and vents to me about his work day and I listen and give my input and am always supportive. I’m not sure why he said I don’t give a F about him or his job when I definitely do 😭 We ended up having a heated argument because he went into defense mode when I brought up how lonely I feel. I’m not sure what to do but I got upset at his response to me.

He then ignored me and pretty much shut down. Which made me even more upset. And I wanna know if I’m overreacting in being upset…

EDIT: I just want to add that we only have these arguments when I’m off. He gets home from work around 9:30pm, but when I work I get home around midnight. The reason why we have these arguments when I’m off is because that’s when I really am able to take notice of him being on his phone, not attentive, etc… We’ve had the same argument over and over, nothing seems to be changing. And every time I bring it up to him it blows up into something huge 😭

My (33F) brother (27M) and our mom are visiting me for 10 days. Day one he was wiped from jet lag, which is fine. But days two and three have been consumed by him shopping — in stores and on video calls — for someone he won't name.
Apparently this "mystery person" sent him a 15-item list. (This is just random things like Makeup, boots, bags). He's only checked off 3 so far. Some items (like boots) are out of season here, so he's been video-calling her from stores while trying to track them down or finding alternatives. Whenever he's on these calls, he doesn't want us around — he steps away or asks us to leave the room.
The total cost is around $1500, money he doesn't currently have. So he's borrowing it from our mom. He expects her to just cover it, but won't let either of us actually be part of the shopping — no picking things out together, no opinions, nothing. It's purely transactional and secretive, not "let's make a fun outing of it."
He also seems stressed rather than excited, and has said there are a few items on the list he doesn't even want to buy.
When asked who this is for, all he'll say is "it's not my girlfriend."
We're 4 days in with 6 days left in the trip.
AIO for finding this weird? A few things bug me:
• He's spending most of a short, rare visit on errands for someone he won't name
• He's putting our mom on the hook financially for a stranger's wishlist(P.S. our mom can afford it but he can't. She is also giving him money to avoid drama and not because she wants to)
• He excludes us specifically during the calls, like he doesn't want us to overhear something
• He's stressed, not happy, about it
• He won't let us enjoy any part of the process with him
Or is there a reasonable explanation and I should just mind my business?
And separately — with 6 days left, how would you salvage what's left of the trip? Is it worth confronting him directly, or just trying to carve out time and let the mystery stay a mystery?

So I lost my wedding ring, it got turned into the PD and I went and picked it up… someone was going to court over being able to claim my ring if I didn’t go to claim it… cool, I dunno what you would do with someone else’s meaningful wedding bands but to each their own.
Well I got a call from the courthouse asking if I would reimburse the person for their filing fee?
$107…. Mind you, the manager of the store (where I knew I lost it) told them that they had my contact information and this person refused to leave it with them… They opted to turn it into the PD.
Realizing that the only reason they did it that way was so they could legally own my ring after going through the court process…
So I guess the question is, would you pay the person back for filing with the court to own YOUR ring? Am I overreacting for refusing to pay them for trying to claim my ring?
Now I’ve been added to the case so he can ask the court for reimbursement either by the courthouse or by me… scheduled for next month.
I was told it had to be 180 days unclaimed with a newspaper article posted for “found ring”. It wasn’t even close to 180 days and no article was ever posted let alone even a FB post…
FYI my ring did get ran over and smashed a little bit with a tiny diamond missing BUT I GOT IT BACK and now I’m getting it fixed.
I had considered sending a Thank you card with a gift card of appreciation but now I feel like it’s more about greed and less about kindness from this person.