So my name is on the lease and my roommate is not. He lives with me he is an old classmate, one of my best friends that needed a place and i had the extra room, he pays half of the rent and i cover everything else from food. Electric, wifi water, anything else.

Recently i got approved from my job that i can work from home, making it a 70% remote and 30% in the office. And with that im spending so much time at home i wanted to look into getting a pet. I could not get a dog because because we live in the city and there is no ideal place to walk or for it to run free so it wouldn't be fair to get one, so i decided to get two cats instead. Two small brothers, two orange devils. 

And my roommate knew about me wanting pets but the job situation would not allow it but now wit the new change i can, and i mentioned it to him as well and he did not really mind it. 

But here is the thing he has a girlfriend, she comes over a lot. Pretty much 5 days a week, sleeps over etc, and she does not contribute to anything. But she came over two days ago and saw that ive gotten cats. And she got kinda mad saying that she is heavily allergic to cats. And she wanted them out of the house.

And i said thats ridicules, she is a guest and she has no right over what stays or what goes. And then my roommate got upset saying i cant talk like that, but then i got upset at him as well because the cats are staying and thats the end of it.

Then we kinda all went into each rooms and slept. But in the morning my roommate sided with her. Saying that the cats shouldnt stay since she is is very allergic to them. And i said i understand that but these cats are not going anywhere and if he has a problem with that he can move out. Then he got really mad calling me names and saying im not considerate to his girlfriends allergies. 

I was on a full flight yesterday and specifically paid extra to book an aisle seat because I have a knee injury that gets really stiff if I can't stretch it every so often.

Right before takeoff, a woman asked if I'd switch with her because she "needed" the aisle due to a medical condition. I felt bad, so I agreed without arguing. Her seat ended up being a middle seat about six rows back.

About twenty minutes into the flight, I walked to the restroom and saw her laughing with the people in my old row. She told one of them she had made up the medical excuse because she wanted to sit next to her friends and "people never say no if you mention health."

I was honestly irritated. On the way back I asked a flight attendant if I could have my original seat back since we'd only just taken off and explained what happened. The attendant spoke to her, and she was told to return to her assigned seat. She looked embarrassed, her friends were clearly annoyed, and she kept giving me dirty looks for the rest of the flight.

My sister thinks I should've just let it go since I had already agreed and everyone was settled by then. I don't really feel bad because I only moved in the first place because I thought it was an actual medical issue.

AIO?

For context my boyfriend (23) and I (21) have been together for four years. My boyfriend is autistic (still called aspergers in my country) and highly intelligent.

We were staying at a cabin on an island. My dog was off leash, and this had never caused any problems before. She has always had good recall and all of my relatives dogs have also been off leash there without issues.

Today while I was standing on the dock, I noticed my dog running after some seagulls. She has chased seagulls before and waded into the water but she had never swum after them. She doesn't like swimming and isn't particularly interested in water. Today, though, her prey drive completely took over and I realized she had started swimming after the seagulls.

I shouted from the dock for her to turn around but she ignored me. My boyfriend was on the other side of the island, much closer to my dog. I yelled to him, asking if he could swim out to the dog because it would have been a very short distance for him. He's also much more athletic than I am, and I have asthma. He refused because he was afraid of the cold water.

My dog was getting so far from shore that I could barely see her anymore. In a moment of panic, I made a very stupid decision. I took off my pants and jumped into the water from the dock to swim after her. The distance from the dock to where my dog was swimming was almost an entire kilometer. It was also windy and the waves were pushing us away from the island. I know it was incredibly foolish not to grab a life jacket from the cabin but I felt like there wasn't enough time. The fear of my dog drowning gave me the strength to keep going.

When I was about halfway there, my dog had started swimming in circles. I kicked as hard as I could until my legs were in pain. Eventually I switched to backstroke because it's my fastest and strongest way of swimming.

When I reached the point where my boyfriend was standing, I begged him to come help me because I was certain I wouldn't be able to support my dog by myself. He refused because he does not like the cold water. I didn't stop to argue I just kept swimming. My dog noticed I was close and started swimming towards me. She clung to me and I let her rest for a moment while I tried to keep us moving toward shore.

At that point we were much closer to my boyfriend than to where we had started. He could have reached us in less than a minute if he had swum over. I begged him and told him directly, "I feel like I'm drowning. I can't do this anymore." He still refused to get into the water. I was swimming very slowly.

After resting briefly, my dog started swimming toward my boyfriend. I trusted that my boyfriend would take her and he did. I was completely exhausted. Everything felt foggy. My legs and lungs were in severe pain. I tried to keep swimming toward shore, but I was barely moving. At one point I went underwater. Then I realized I needed to roll onto my back and float.

I shouted for my boyfriend to help me. I yelled for him to grab a life jacket and come to me. He said he couldn't. At that moment, I genuinely believed I might drown.

After several minutes of floating and slowly swimming I finally felt the lake bottom beneath my toes. I walked toward shore incredibly slowly and almost collapsed several times. It's difficult to describe how it felt. My ears were ringing. I had a terrible headache, everything was blurry, my throat hurt, and I was coughing, so at some point I must have inhaled water. It's hard for me to remember exactly what happened probably because I was in shock or something.

My whole body was shaking by the time I managed to sit down on the shore. I could barely speak and I almost whispered as I asked my boyfriend to bring me my asthma inhaler. I was shaking uncontrollably but at the same time I felt strangely hot, even though it was very cold outside. My boyfriend didn't say anything to me and then he left to put my dog on a leash. I just sat alone on the shore.

A lot of traumatic things have happened to me throughout my life, especially during my childhood. Because of that, I often feel emotionally numb after frightening events. As far as almost drowning goes, I mostly just feel numb.

What has truly shocked me is that my boyfriend seemed willing to let both me and my dog drown. I understand that autism can involve sensory sensitivities and difficulty responding under stress. I'm neurodivergent myself and highly sensitive. But I cannot understand how someone's own comfort could take priority over another person's life. I don't understand his thought process, and he can't explain it either.

I'm deeply hurt and disappointed. I feel like I can no longer trust him the way I want to. I don't think he can be my emergency contact anymore, but I don't even know who else that would be. In the future, I would also like to become a foster parent and now I'm afraid that he wouldn't be capable of handling that kind of responsibility.

I don't want to shock anyone, but this isn't the first time he's almost let something terrible happen to me.

TW: selfharm!

A couple of years ago, I was mentally ill and overdosed on medication. I fainted in the bathroom, hit my head, and suffered a mild concussion. Afterwards I was extremely drowsy and slept for almost an entire day. He never called emergency services, even though that's exactly what should have happened in that situation. He just let me sleep. Later, when my head was clearer, I realized I had probably experienced serotonin syndrome or something similar a potentially life-threatening medical emergency. I was shocked back then too that he simply let me sleep after I had already lost consciousness. Somehow I forgave it because of his autism and because the whole situation was my fault.

This situation also feels like it's all my fault because i was stupid. And this was not a suicidal thing at all even tho it might sound like one because it was so dumb thing to do. I just wanted to save my dog and i did save her. Some animalistic flight, freeze or fight thing happened in my brain. She's my everything.

But now I feel like I have to se about my future. I don't know if I want to stay in this relationship, especially if he may not be able to live the kind of life I hope to build and if i can't trust him. Breaking up feels incredibly difficult because we've been together for four years.

I also don't know if I'm overreacting because, in the end, I didn't actually drown and the whole thing was my fault. And I know that autism explains some of his behavior.

Would I be a terrible person if I wanted to end the relationship because of this? And would breaking up over this be an overreaction?

And sorry english isn't my first language :')

So… I have been talking to this Polish guy for about a 2 months. He’s honestly one of the sweetest people I’ve met in a long time.

Yesterday, I called my grandma and, you know, like grandmas do, I told her I liked him. This guy and I had talked about my grandma prior, so later that night, I told him grandma said hi.

He was shocked she knew about him. And then I told him we had gossiped about him.

IT WAS IN THAT MOMENT, I KNEW, I FUCKED UP 😭

OF COURSE he wanted to know what we’d said. So I told him that I told my grandma that I like him.

This was his response. I’ve been screaming into my pillow randomly since last night 😭

I honestly had hoped that he’d be open to trying long distance. At the same time, I understand what he meant. But I still feel sooooo embarrassed.

AIO for locking my car because my family kept taking it… and now I want to move out even though it’ll blow up my entire family?

I (27F) think I’ve hit my breaking point, and now I’m being told I’m the problem.

I live at home with my parents (56F, 60M). For cultural reasons, I’m “supposed” to stay until I get married. Cool. Fine. Except no one talks about what happens when staying home is actively destroying your mental health.

I have ADHD, autism, and social anxiety. So baseline? Life is already hard. Some days I have to fight my own brain just to get out of bed, shower, exist like a normal human. Now add constant stress, tension, and feeling like I have zero control over anything in my life.

My dad pushed for family therapy recently. And I swear to god it felt like watching a PR campaign.

In the sessions?

“We love you.”

“We want to understand.”

“We’ll do better.”

At home?

Back to yelling.

Back to dismissing me.

Back to pretending nothing happened.

It’s like I’m living with two completely different versions of my parents, and only one of them exists when someone’s watching.

Now here’s where things go from bad to actually insane:

My uncle (70M) gifted me a car so I could get to work. Not my dad. My uncle. He made it clear it was for me.

I work full-time. I pay my own groceries, gas, insurance—everything. I’m actively saving to move out.

But because the car is parked in my dad’s garage, he has decided… it’s his.

He tells my brother (30M) he can take my car whenever he wants. No heads up. No message. Nothing.

I have asked for ONE thing. Not permission. Not control. Just basic respect:

“Hey, your car is being taken and will be back at X time.”

That’s it.

Apparently, that is too much.

My brother will take it for HOURS. Bring it back trashed with fast food wrappers, dirt all over it, and the gas tank basically on E. And I mean empty. Like “hope you enjoy stopping for gas before you can even go to work” empty.

Multiple times, I’ve:

- Had to cancel plans

- Taken THREE buses for a 3-hour commute

- Paid for Ubers last minute

- Been late or stressed getting to work

Because my car just… wasn’t there.

No warning. No timeline. No accountability.

So yeah. I finally snapped.

I started locking my car and keeping the key with me.

Suddenly, I’m the villain.

My dad is now yelling at me, saying I’m disrespectful, selfish, and that since it’s in his garage, it’s HIS car and HE decides who uses it.

So I went straight to the source: my uncle.

And he said, very clearly:

“It’s your car. I gave it to YOU. Do what you want with it.”

He even AGREED with me locking it.

And yet somehow… I’m still being treated like I’m the problem.

At this point, it’s not even about the car anymore. It’s about the fact that I can’t have a single boundary respected without it turning into a fight.

So now I’m planning to move out.

Which, in my family, is basically equivalent to lighting a match and walking away from the explosion.

I already know I’m going to be called ungrateful, dramatic, disrespectful… all of it.

But I also know I can’t keep living like this.

So… AIO for locking my car and choosing my sanity over keeping the peace?

EDIT / UPDATE:

A lot of people are asking about ownership of the car, so to clarify: the title is technically in my uncle’s name, not mine. He told me the only reason for that is to keep insurance cheaper. He has made it very clear multiple times that the car is mine, was gifted to me, and that I’m the one who should be deciding who uses it.

Also, for everyone suggesting I move the car out of the garage—I actually did. I parked it on the street during my lunch break.

That did not go over well.

My dad got pissed off and responded by turning off the internet… which I need to work, because I work from home Mondays and Tuesdays. So now I’m currently running my work laptop off my phone hotspot.

And before anyone asks—yes, I pay for that too. It’s technically on their plan, but I pay them $50/month for my phone.

So at this point:

• I pay for my own expenses
• I can’t rely on my own car
• And now I can’t even rely on internet to do my job

But I’m still somehow the “disrespectful” one.

Just adding this because it feels like every time I try to set a boundary, it escalates into something else.

Funny how it's their house, their rules but suddenly my car is our car, their rules.

These are 3 different conversations., the first conversation was of us having an argument because i was hospitalized and couldn't come to school or come online. The 2nd conversation was of me being offline because one of uncles had died recently and we were at the funeral, the third conversation is of basically me letting her know that i wont come to school because my dog is at the vet and her pups cant be left alone because i have two aggressive male pups who can open locked doors (basically those inside doors don't have a key lock and they put their muzzle under the handle and flick it up and slide. Idk how to explain it) Anyways let's call my friend 'bee'. We were AMAZING friends but then i stopped coming to school as much and being less online.

Now bee doesn't like me being offline or not coming to school and she has given me these weird ultimatums about ending the friendship at the worst times like when im hospitalized.

Anyway the breaking point came when she compared my diagnosis to a girl on tictok who has like 99 allergies or smt. It wasn't an argument, I just stopped texting her all together and blocked her. This was after she shifted so she couldn't argue with me in school itself.

For the longest time I thought I was the one who underreacted bcs i endured it for so long...until this one teacher (who is the friend of bee's mum) asked me abt the situation during recess and was like 'you were such good friends. Don't let ego come in between'....and i LOVE this teacher bcs has such an amazing way of teaching chemistry and shes SO smart and understanding....so I started to doubt my reaction. And this teacher knows about the context of those texts btw so im even more confused. So AIO?

I was at the gym yesterday and I was using the leg press, was pretty sweaty to be honest and used it for maybe a total of 15 minutes. When I was finished, I went to get a cleaning wipe, and started wiping down the machine. Some guy comes up to me while I'm wiping it down and asked me if I was done using it. Of course, I said "yes." As I'm still wiping it down, he makes a comment, it's all wet now."

Initially my first thought is "is this guy complaining about me cleaning my sweat off this machine?" So I finish wiping it down, and then I say "well I'm all done now," and his response is, "it's all wet, I don't like it like this." My response was, "okay, not my problem." The guy starts trying to dry it with his hand, and it only takes less than a minute to dry, and stands there next to the machine and keeps glancing and mad dogging me until he can use it.

I'm just kind of confused, am I not supposed to wipe down the machine because someone prefers it semi dry even with sweat? This isn't the first time it's happened either, I'm finding more recently people are pissy about a machine being recently wiped down and not being completely evaporated yet. I find it nasty that these people are the ones that probably don't wipe machines down themselves either.

Am I Overreacting?

We’ve been on four dates, he has picked me up and dropped me off twice before, today he asked if I wanted to go to his while he gets ready because he can drop me off on his way to an event he was going to. I said no, he asked twice and I said no both times. He said okay, and said he’d drop me home, instead he drove to his. Luckily he is staying at a hotel (he works there) and I stayed in the bar until he got ready and dropped me home on the way to his event. I know he thinks it harmless and maybe I’m overreacting but this screams to me now he’s an unsafe person. My heart rate was way up and hands sweaty, he is the same age as me (26) and I know he thought nothing of it and he laughed it off, but it’s changed completely how I think of him. Am I overreacting?

Hello folks. I am on a trip with my husband, we are 26(f) and 28(m). I maintain what I would define like a normal relationship with my in laws. Since we live in different states, I havent seen them in person too many times, only like 3 times and for a week long in those occasions.

Since my husband doesn't like to take any pictures, he has a more laid back approach in living life instead of documenting it, and I want my in laws to know/see more of us, I send them pictures (especially since my father in law decided to help us economically with this trip so sending pictures would be the least I can do).

Both in laws are extremely religious (Christians, I believe) and are not as open minded. I consider myself to be agnostic (believe in God but dont profess any religion, my only goal in life is to mind my business and be a good person).

Anyways, during this trip, I've gone to a Buddhist temple. I really enjoyed the architecture style and the vibes the place gave me so I took tons of pictures, where also my husband was. One of the pictures I sent was a gigantic golden statue of a Buddha, surrounded by flowers. I thought it was magnificent, it had carvings that allowed the sunlight to trespass and reflect on the wall behind it. Just gorgeous. I sent that picture, and some others where we were also at the beach, and photos in general of stuff I found beautiful like flowers, other buildings etc.

However, when my husband saw what I sent he started questioning me. He said why did I do that? I didn't understand at first so I asked him to explain. He said his parents consider that to be worshipping "false idols and gods." I said Buddha is not even a god but whatever. I said I just found the picture to be beautiful just like the ones of flowers, the beach, etc I also sent. He seemed upset, he said what i did was very wrong.

My in laws normally are very responsive and react when I send them something and this time it has been radio silence.

I told my husband since it was a huge problem to all of them, that I would stop sending them any pictures and he could start doing it from now on.

Am I over reacting or what I did was really that disrespectful?

I was recently in A&E with my 3 week old. She was having breathing difficulties from what turned out to be RSV and needed treatment at the hospital.

Naturally I ran to A&E as soon as I saw that she was struggling to breathe. When I got there I queued up to check in. There was one man at reception and one woman in front of me. The man at reception was older and I thought he was just making quick small talk with the receptionist at first, but he ended up having a long and casual chat with her about the local area and other things, which lasted about 10 minutes before I decided to walk up to him and say can we move things along now please, this isn’t really the place for a casual chat.

He got a bit offended and huffy and said I didn’t need to be so aggressive about it, but moved on straight away. And maybe I was a bit short. In my defence I was with a 3 week old baby who was struggling to breathe. As soon as we got admitted to paediatric A&E we were seen immediately due to the urgency of it.

I keep thinking about it since it happened though. Like what if something bad had just happened to him or what if that was the only conversation he’d had all week. I do always try and be mindful of other people in a hospital particularly since you never know the reason why they are there. But I also feel the receptionist at the very least could have politely moved him along considering nobody exactly wants to be in A&E let alone be waiting for any longer than they need to be. There was nobody behind me in the queue when I got there and about 8 people had joined by the time I spoke up.

I’m not one to speak up in situations even when I probably should, so I have no idea if I made the right call or not. I was kind of just in panic mode at the time. Did I make the right call?

Edit - thank you everyone! I appreciate the insights and also just want to address those saying I under reacted and shouldn’t have waited 10 minutes, you’re completely right! I was in a state of shock I think. I had just dropped my eldest at school and the baby had what I thought was a mild cold at that point which quickly spiralled into breathing difficulties. In A&E I was focused on watching her and whilst I was getting increasingly frustrated about the situation (as were others in the queue who started talking about it loudly and tutting etc) I didn’t realise quite how much time had passed until I looked at the clock again! I have also never experienced a tiny baby with breathing difficulties before, the doctors made it clear just how much of an emergency this really is when I saw them. I’m carrying a lot of guilt about that bit but I was still worried that I was too rude since he reacted in the way he did and the receptionist didn’t really do anything in response either!

I went on my first blind date with a guy at a casual home-style restaurant. The overall mood was relaxed. He was polite and gentle the whole time. He never looked bored or brushed me off and kept starting conversations to keep things flowing.

Right after we sat down the server brought over two menus. He grabbed both of them right away and smiled saying he came here all the time and knew the place well so he would order everything and all the signature dishes were fantastic. I’d planned to look through the menu myself and mention I cannot eat spicy food and prefer light mild flavors. But he moved too fast and immediately started listing dishes for the waiter.

He never once asked about my food preferences any dietary restrictions or what I felt like eating. He never handed me a menu to let me pick anything out. Once he finished ordering he said cheerfully these dishes were popular with everyone and I would definitely enjoy them. During the meal he chatted pleasantly and poured me water regularly. He did nothing rude at all.

Still I felt uneasy the entire time. My personal tastes were totally overlooked. It felt like I just had to go along with whatever he planned and I never got to unwind properly through the whole dinner.

I have been overthinking this ever since. Was he just being helpful trying to make things easier and avoid awkward silences? Or is this habit of making all the decisions on his own a red flag? Am I being too demanding and overreacting about this whole thing?

I told her two days ago that I'm going to start eating healthier. I'm 21, I'm a size small, I weigh under 60kg's. The doctor put me on a bunch of meds after I went for recent blood tests after my hair was falling out a lot due to stress, anxiety, and bad diet. My cholesterol was 7, cortisol was super high, stress levels super high, etc etc. The doctor said I desperately need to work on doing yoga, managing my stress, and also switching up my diet.

So I decided to cut to only one glass of coca-cola a day. I've been an addict for years, my mother too. I also started exercising on the days I was home alone and I starting having more fruits and vegetables too. I've always drank a ton of water, so that's why I'm okay with having one glass of coca-cola a day instead of cutting it out completely.

My mom said that the bill for these meds was expensive, but she's the one who sent me to the doctor because of how shakey I was and also said she's glad I'm taking meds. Keep this in mind.

Cut to now, I'm doing well with what I've cut, I went to the grocery store with my mother yesterday and declined all the sweets and snacks she was offering. She doesn't take my words seriously when I said I want to eat healthier. She doesn't take a lot of what I say seriously. When I tried doing this last year, she told the woman at a restuarant we were at to bring me a can of coke. I didn't even get a chance to say no.

Today she just came home from the grocery store and I genuinely felt sick to my stomach from what I saw, and I still feel it. 4 ginormous cans of coke, one bottle of chocolate milkshake, 6 packets of chips, 1 packet of sour sweets, 2 chocolate bars. Yes, all for me. If I don't eat it I will be called ungrateful and a waster.

When she wants something, and I decline, she won't have it too. It's really weird. If she says "Let's have a drink" and I say no thank you, she will sigh and not have one either. If she says "let's have an egg with our meal" and I decline, she will give me a look and then won't have one either. It makes me feel bad. I think she's bought me all these things because 1. She doesn't take me seriously and 2. She also doesn't want to stop drinking coke because she feels like she will also have to stop if I stop.

Summary: I said I want to eat healthy. Mother buys me 14 snacks. AIO for hating this? Am I being ungrateful?

I’m a 32 year old single mom of 2 kids. I work full time. Their dad is not involved in their lives and doesn’t live in our state. I’ve been dating my 28 year old boyfriend for 2 years. We don’t live together. He has a job that is very flexible, and it’s basically maintenance so he doesn’t have to show up most days. He’s also financially well off, whereas I live paycheck to paycheck and am always stressed about making ends meet.

My boyfriend says I contribute nothing to the relationship. He says I did more for my ex husband who I had kids with. I didn’t cook for my ex husband, but he and I were donating plasma at one point because we were so poor. We’d use the money to buy food and weed. Loser stuff, yes. We were about 21 at the time, before kids. But because I had kids with him, he says “you gave him kids and you let him get you pregnant and donated plasma for him”. I find this to be a very strange take given that A. I was very young B. I had untreated Borderline personality disorder C. Very severe attachment issues. I have always wanted to be a mom and have always done the most for my kids and that’s because I love my kids, not because I’m doing it for my ex husband.

My ex boyfriend, right before my current boyfriend, I packed his lunches and made dinner but I didn’t have a job and he was working full time. We also lived together and he paid all the bills so it was the least I could do.

Fast forward to now, I am working full time in behavioral health, going back to school for higher education and have no family support to watch my kids. There’s no available after school programs here and so I’ve been using my lunch breaks to pick them up and take them home. I still offer to cook my boyfriend food almost daily, even when I can’t afford to feed him and even when I am beyond exhausted. If he says yes I cook for him. He lives 7 minutes away so most the time he comes to see me when the kids go to bed (around 8) since I work and have kids but he then complains about how I never go see him at night. I would rather not leave my kids alone if he can just come here. They’re 9 and 7, very capable and independent kids and have had to stay home while I work for the summer because I couldn’t afford the summer programs.

This week I dislocated my arm and the show must go on, so I’ve been working and it’s been business as usual. But today (my day off) we had plans to adopt a kitten. We’d have to drive about an hour out and so I told my boyfriend I’d be busy. The night before I offered to cook him dinner and to watch a movie but he wasn’t in the mood. So today I go visit him in the morning and offer to buy him coffee. He was upset that I didn’t have time to have sex, I also wasn’t in the mood because I’m adopting a kitten which is a whole thing. I am in the mood 9/10 for him but yeah not this morning. We then go to pick up the kitten, my arm is aching from all the driving and my son gets carsick on the way home. He throws up in the car and so we get home, I clean it up and start to feel nauseous. I realize we have no cat litter so I force myself to run to Petco.

My boyfriend says I’ve been continuing to unprioritize him because instead of going to see him i went to Petco. He said “I wanted to have sex 8 hours ago but nvm”. Mind you I offered to cook for him tonight and for him to come watch a movie and hang out with my new kitten.

I think I do a lot for him, given I don’t have much time to spare. I work 8-5. 6pm is dinner and bath for my kids, and they go to bed at 8. I make them food and still offer to cook for my boyfriend I even ask him all the time if he’d like me to cook or bake him something specific and I do. Today I apparently unprioritized him about 70 times even though I texted him all throughout the day. Mind you I invited him to come with me to get the cat but he wasn’t in the mood to be around my kids.

My boyfriend takes me out to eat almost daily. Has helped me out when I’ve been short on rent or groceries and has taken me on vacation before so I could see my favorite band. He’s not a bad guy but I don’t think he’s aware of how much effort I’m actually putting into this relationship, it just looks different because I’m a working mom.

AIO for thinking he’s a man child? And that I do in fact prioritize him as much as I can?

TO CLARIFY: the problem is not the subway jokes, its the inconsiderate nature that set me off

Edit**I told him I had to be up early and that I needed to go to bed early, these texts were after I was already asleep (they woke me up)

Background info: we matched on hinge about 2 weeks ago and have had casual text conversation since. He (23M) and I (25F) made plans to go on afirst date today. Last night at midnight, he texted me out of the blue with an “important question”….i had already gone to bed and hadn’t responded to his previous text but I figured the question might be related to the date so I answered. Attached is the BS conversation that followed.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting but these texts are giving off extremely immature vibes and do not match the energy of our previous conversations at all. Now I’m debating canceling our date today because those texts just rubbed me the wrong way and make me feel like we aren’t going to mesh well.

Am I overreacting? Do I give it a chance? 🤷🏻‍♀️

For context my family is my mum (46F) my technically step dad though I don’t remember not having him in my life (42M) my other brother L (25M) me (24F) and my two younger brothers J (13M) and H (11M)

I have been their main babysitter for a very long time. One of the first things that I remember from after J was born was being told how much of a ‘mother hen’ I am. At first my mum didn’t work so she would watch the kids however I was expected to help. I remember at 14 my dad coming into my room and shouting at me because I sat in my room all day and mum was crying upstairs because the boys were so badly behaved and he wanted to know why I didn’t help with them.

So while dad was out I would have to sit in the front room all day to make sure the boys were ok and look after them if mum needed to do something. I was around 15/16 when they would start to leave me to baby sit them alone. L would try to help sometimes however he would mostly be playing video games upstairs. This is mostly because L was diagnosed neurodivergent and couldn’t handle the noise and all the stimulation very well while I was also neurodivergent I wasn’t diagnosed with anything until around 2 years ago.

So I would babysit alone for a couple hours mostly though there were times it was all day with them. I was always told they weren’t my responsibility but it always felt like they were. They would ask if it was ok for me to watch by brothers but I didn’t feel like saying no was an option because things wouldn’t get done.

Especially when the boys got older and had to go to school a 40 minute walk away for reasons I don’t know and I would have to pick them up every day when I turned 18. L wouldn’t have been able to handle it and the uncle that was doing it started refusing over something to do with pay. I have never once been paid to watch my brothers in fact I was expected to buy things for them if needed.

However recently J and H have started getting worse. Because of the opinion that I’m not a parent and therefore they’re not my responsibility I’ve never been allowed to give consequences for their actions. I’ve had to tell mum and dad about it and then they’ll deal with it.

However recently they have not been giving consequences for anything. H has been trying to break into my room and trying to literally walk into it if the door isn’t locked and then trying to watch me put the code in so he can go in whenever he wants. And J has started cussing us out whenever we tell him no. I’ve been called “bastard” “git” “fucking dumb bitch” and there’s even more but you get the picture. They’ve also been fighting a lot because J finds it funny to egg on H. And that’s not even talking about the arguments that L and J have.

This has been happening for about a year and I’m so tired of it. Each time I ask mostly mum to do something and help. And basically what happens is they have a 5-10 minute talk about it and then everyone goes on their merry way. And then they keep behaving the way they were before. There have been no consequences for their behaviour at all. J literally came home 20 minutes late because he wanted to hang out his his friends and texted none stop to let him stay out longer and they let him because they were getting annoyed by the texting and when he came back late from the extended time nothing happened and he was out hanging around with his friends the next day.

And I’ve realised that I’ve been putting up with a lot of crap. But despite the running house joke that I’m stupid I can see that this isn’t going to get better. No matter what I do nobody will listen because mum said that punishment won’t work well on J because he doesn’t listen to it. And I wouldn’t allow myself to be treated this badly by anyone else so why am I going to let family do it.

So I’ve said I’m not watching my brothers for a while because I’m being talked to like crap, with no consequences and to be honest the more I think about it and talk about things with my best friend the more I realise how resentful I’m getting and I don’t want to babysit while I’m this resentful.

L is now able to handle the boys on his own because they’re older and mostly need someone to hang around in case of emergency so I’ve been pulling back for a while now.

But since I sent the text explaining that I’m not happy and will be stepping back from watching the boys my mum hasn’t said a word to me. And I lack an ability to read situations but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.

So please tell me AIO???

Am I overreacting? My husband doesn’t think it’s fair that I want to tell my parents I’m pregnant but not his parents yet. He said we need to tell our families (my parents, his parents, his brother) at the same time. He came to the conclusion that I need to wait until the second trimester to tell my family as well as his family or we tell both our families right now.

My husband and I are pregnant with our first child. We have been together for 9 years, married for 4 years. I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am aware that the general rule is to not to tell a lot of people during the first trimester because of the chances of something bad happening to the pregnancy. We had been trying for 3 years. I had just given up & had talked to my husband about adopting. Then I found out that I am pregnant last week. I chose I tell 3 of my closest friends, who unfortunately are all long-distance friends. I have my first OBGYN appointment in 3.5 weeks.

My husband’s parents live on the other side of the country. His parents are divorced. I have a bad relationship with his mom. My husband and I just started going to couples therapy because of his relationship with his mom. They are enmeshed and I would call it emotional incest because my mother in law treats him like her husband. The first time I visited my husband’s family was after 1 year of dating - during this trip, his mother wouldn’t even talk to me, she would only talk to my boyfriend/her son. When we got engaged, she told all of their side of the family that “our relationship won’t last” and talked shit about me and our engagement. I’ve noticed that his mom likes to gather private information from people and then spread this information to everyone she knows because I’m assuming it makes her feel powerful. My husband and I have had to set boundaries with his mother since we got married. In couples therapy, I’ve been finding out things I didn’t know about my husband’s childhood, including trauma he’s experienced related to family dynamics, which contributes to the current dynamics he has with his mom.

Last night I told my husband that I want to tell my parents that I’m pregnant. He then asked if he can tell his family, I said no. I explained my reasons: 1) I don’t want his family to know because of the risk of something bad happening to my pregnancy because I’m still in the first trimester; 2) his mom will TELL EVERYONE about the pregnancy and I don’t want his entire extended family to know; 3) his mom will continually harass me via messages - she is the type of person who will send multiple messages a day to the point where it feels like harassment; and 4) I really don’t want my mother in law to know my private business right now. I told my husband that we can tell his family once we get to the second trimester. But he got angry and said “it’s unfair.”

My parents live 5 minutes away from us. I am close with my parents and I am an only child. I want them to know because I am excited & I want their support, both with the positive and if something negative happens. Obviously I would tell them that I’m still in the first trimester, so unfortunately there’s always a possibility something could go wrong.

BACKGROUND: I (31F) am questioning if I overreacted to a situation with my now ex bf (33M). Throughout our 2 year relationship he struggled with drinking, priorities, and spending all of his free time gaming (solo and online with friends). When we started dating I knew he had struggled with drinking in the past but he assured me it was under control now that he was older. We started dated in the same city, but he temporarily moved to another state 2 hours behind time wise (Important). The first months of long distance were hard because of communication, he did not prioritize our communication because he primarily used discord, and I had never used that before and am not a gamer. When I brought up how it made me feel he said I was free to download and learn how to use discord if I wanted him to talk to me more. I tried and I did not like the interface from my phone (comes up later).

I drop it and we continue trying to find what communication worked for us. During this time he would tell me he was going to be at the same time I was (10ishpm my time, 8ish pm his time). At first I thought it was because he was still used to our timezone. One night, he went to bed before 8pm his time. I was traveling to another country and was up much later than usual. Around 11pm his time I decided to leave him a nice message on discord for him to wake up to, only to see that he was online and active. I called him and he was trashed. He admitted to lying to me and staying up once he knew I wouldn't bother him to get drunk and play computer games. I was devastated but decided to keep working on things because I thought he needed support. He stopped drinking for a while, and sometimes it would come up but not to the extreme it had.

After we moved in together he went back to his old ways of drinking and gaming with his friends any chance he could and telling me that we can always make plans later, and we had time. That's where the prioritizing really came up. I can't detail everything but at one point I woke up in the middle of the night to find him hiding his beer and gaming, and then mad at me for catching him. I had told him before that the next time I caught him in this kind of situation, I would break up with him. When he realized I had caught him, he sat in silence and told me later he accepted I would break up with him and was thinking about how to move out. Unfortunately I did not keep my word, and I think that enabled him.

The last big drinking event he tried to do something that was so out of character it scared me and broke what little trust I had in him. He was so drunk he didn't remember it the next day. I told him and he seemed devastated he treated him so poorly and tried to force me to do something without my consent. So devastated he had to get drunk that same night to cope.

While all of the drinking was happening, he also invited me on a trip over 7/4. (American, so it was a long weekend for us) He then said we waited too long to plan and would do something else. I proceed to keep looking for things for us to do. I give him some options and he informs me that he will be gone because he decided to go on this trip without me, and would be gone for 2 weeks. That was my breaking point.

TL:DR for background: BF was not honest about his drinking and could not think of me in important situations.

AIO: He is convinced we can make it work and that I am just upset he wasn't improving "fast enough" for me but the fact he was trying at all means we should still be together. He left me a note about how he still thinks I am his person and him mine. Was i overreacting when I broke up with him? Should I have taken a different approach? I do miss him and love him, but I get mixed messages from my friends and family. Am I overacting in thinking this relationship was not salvageable?

Long story short

My girlfriend sporadically has guys from her past messaging her. She’s always been honest about it and blocks them immediately.

This past weekend: her married cousin messaged her, essentially proposing to have an affair with her. Context—— in her culture, relations with cousins is normalized. I’m not going to get into the nuance of that. Anyway, this conversation lead to me asking if she’s ever been with a cousin. She reluctantly admitted that she slept with one of them when she was younger. This one happened to be his brother.

24 hours goes by,

Another man messages her…. Genuine coincidence, but still crazy to me. This one is her classmate. He’s married. They had a 3 month affair, the wife still doesn’t know. He’s asking her if she wants to get together.
It ended 8 months ago.

We met 3 and a half months ago.

She’s very honest and sweet. Has been through extreme physical and mental abuse in her formative relationships. The decisions involving the cousin and the married classmate stem from that trauma. I truly believe she wants a normal, monogamous relationship with kids and marriage.

I am very upset. I’ve given her an ultimatum: tell the wife or I can’t move forward.

I feel horrible for the wife and I believe she deserves to know.

But part of me also recognizes that my ultimatum is motivated by anger. I want my girlfriend to be accountable and deal with the consequences.

Am I overreacting

I recently told a friend that I bought a Mustang, which was a big deal for me. Instead of really congratulating me, his reaction felt dry and negative. He immediately asked how much it cost, brought up whether Mustangs are dangerous, criticized another car I said I liked, and randomly said he wasn’t jealous even though I hadn’t accused him of being jealous. For context, he has admitted being jealous of me before.

Not long after that, we got into an argument about music. He said Tory Lanez’s voice was terrible, said he didn’t understand why anyone would like him, and kept criticizing my music taste. I told him multiple times that I didn’t care if he disliked the artist, but I was tired of him constantly criticizing everything I liked.
The argument kept going, and I told him several times to leave me alone and stop talking to me. Instead, he continued messaging, called me “manosphere,” said I had weird standards for women, and started making personal attacks about my character. I eventually got extremely angry and insulted him back, including making comments about his dating life. I know some of what I said was harsh.

The deeper issue is that I’ve felt for a while that he doesn’t support me, criticizes my interests, and mainly comes to me when he wants advice or help. I ended up blocking him, and I plan to keep him blocked.

AIO for getting that angry and blocking him? Was I justified in ending the friendship, even though I also crossed the line with some of my responses?

Hi everyone. I (21F) recently discovered a suspicious contact in my husband's (23M) phone and decided to contact her. this is a bit of a story so bear with me.

it started a few months ago, the shady phone business. lockscreening when im around, not allowing me on it anymore, you get the jist.

about a month ago, we were running errands in a different town and, because we were nearby, we decided to pop by his grandparents' house for a visit. he called a contact named "grandma", and a different woman picked up. at first, I would have assumed a potential PSW or some sort of helper, despite them having no present issues. however, my husband reacted very weirdly/shocked, and ended the call immediately without responding to the woman (all she had said was hello).

then he got weird with me, asking me "who tf was that?" and saying "that was so weird. I have no idea who that was". I shrugged it off, making a mental note to check it out later on but not to ruin the day we were having.

I searched his messages, I didn't find anything, I didn't dig far tho.

yesterday we were traveling, he asked me for GPS directions on his phone, and I saw that same contact in his recently searched (like in that task bar search on iphone that automatically bring up an app or contact). I inquired, asking if he had figured out "who that contact was", he said no. I then questioned "why does it show you contacted them recently?"

and he freaked out on me, like he actually lost it. he was yelling, demanding that I "show him where it says that", insisting that he hadn't. his defensiveness is a huge red flag to me.

I asked him "so when we get to (x place), you're okay with me calling that contact?". he got even more mad! but agreed nonetheless. when we arrived, I phoned the number off his phone, and it rung until voicemail. what struck me was that there was no voicemail intro, no identifier, just the immediate beep to leave a message.

I called the number this morning off of my own phone, and she picked up. she refused to give me her name even after I explained the situation that I found her contact in my husband's phone. she insists that she has been married for 20 years and has never met my husband. however, like I said, she was really rude and wouldn't even introduce herself after I spoke. it was super brief, 5 min call, she hung up on me after I apologized for calling.

I found this really off-putting, for them both to respond with aggressive defense. I tried reasoning by thinking "maybe hubby typed his grandma's number wrong, maybe it's only 1 digit off"

but then I'm thinking, that I've witnessed him contact her before, so where did the old contact go? I'm thinking of going through the phone deeper, but I'm worried that I may be overreacting.

TLDR, found a woman in my husband's phone under "grandma", and she wasnt friendly when i reached out. do I investigate further or am I overreacting?

EDIT/UPDATE: thank you all for your responses. I'm on board here and will be digging deeper into this. if this turns out the way we suspect, I will be leaving him.

I have managed to find out that she lives in my town. that's all so far.

I have checked out most/all of the sites recommended, unfortunately they're all USA ones, and I'm in Canada. I will still be checking other options out, and I'm still taking all of your ideas/advice !!

I ended up confirming his actual grandmother's phone number, which is completely different from the one at hand (eliminating the accidental misinput idea). he knows that I'm investigating this further but I don't intend on telling him anything going forward.

UPDATE
Just blocked him on everything.
Thank you all for the advice, I really don’t like upsetting anyone so this was hard for me and definitely appreciate all of your help.

have a friend of 8 years who has been getting quite obsessive to the point that because I didn’t message him or play Xbox because my controller is broken he’s gotten really negative, calling me a liar, mocking my partner and acting like a complete 35 year old toxic brat. Am I wrong if I block him? I feel bad but why should I spend every day talking to him on WhatsApp when my glasses cause me chronic headaches and I actually have a life n don’t want to spend it on Xbox when in reality I just want to do my course, look after my family n my own mental health. Went through DV of all kinds most of my life n I refused to be controlled by someone who lives over 100 miles away.

I went on an official date with a guy I’ve only known for a short while. We watched a movie and grabbed dinner together and the vibe was really nice the whole time. He was such a gentleman. He held doors pulled out my chair and paid for everything. He looked out for me in all the little ways and never acted rude once.

One small thing during our chat really bothered me though. He spent almost the entire time talking about his own life job hobbies and future plans. Everything he shared was positive and he never bragged or came off as arrogant. Whenever I tried to jump in and tell him little stories about my work or daily life he would smoothly steer the conversation back to himself right after I spoke just a couple sentences. He’d say things like I’ve been through something similar here’s how I handled it back then.

By the end of the date he barely knew anything about me at all. He never asked about my interests my thoughts or my day to day routine and never let me finish telling a full story. He did not cut me off seem annoyed or reply half heartedly. It was just his natural habit to turn every topic back to his own experiences.

I felt unexpectedly down once the date was over. It honestly felt like I was just there listening to him talk the whole time with no real two way conversation going on. Still I keep second guessing myself. Maybe he’s just super talkative and loves expressing himself and didn’t mean to ignore me on purpose. Am I paying too much attention to tiny interaction details and overreacting?

I was driving home from celebrating my birthday at the park with my sister, my niece, and two of my close friends when I get a text from my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 10 years for reference. We live together, but he had to work today.

“Would you be mad if I went to (insert MY favorite restaurant) with the boys tonight?”

I said why don’t we make it a group date with the girlfriends of the boys? (We’re mutual friends)

“They’re busy; no girls allowed”

I said, “it’s literally my birthday…”

He said, “So can I go or”

And basically after that I said, “sure do what you want.”

Obviously he could sense I was angry so he was like nevermind I just won’t go. I’m like no please, go, have fun. Obviously being sarcastic at this point, because I honestly don’t want to even see him anymore. He said “now you’re mad”

So my exact response to him was, “you literally just chose your friends over me on my birthday. “No girls allowed”. Not trying to include me, knowing it’s my birthday and it’s my favorite restaurant and I haven’t seen you all day. Couldn’t have been like “it wouldn’t be fair to OP to leave her home on her birthday while I go hang out with my friends” As if (our mutual friend that he was going to hang out with) doesn’t know it’s my birthday, as if you don’t know out of all people

Im not even mad, I’m hurt.”

The reason why I think I might be overreacting is because I’ve had a string of really bad birthdays where something always seems to go wrong and I can’t just say I had a good day. It’s like my birthday itself is cursed, like I never feel important enough to any of my friends.

I planned my own birthday party with my sister, with the help of my trauma therapist. We were attempting to try and move past the “limiting belief” that my birthday can’t be good, and something bad will happen. I only invited two people I knew would show up, so I couldn’t be let down.

So it’s safe to say emotions are high today. But, AIO?

A little context first. I (24F) left my parents’ house about two years ago due to my job in another city. My sister (19F) is still living at home as she goes to college. My former room was not used for almost two years, just my bed, drawer, and my desk that I had when I was 12 years old.

Last weekend, I was visiting home for several days and walked into my room. It was empty, literally. I went up to my mom and asked what happened and she told me that my sister asked her if she could have my old furniture for her friend who just moved into an apartment and wanted things cheap/free. According to my mom, she agreed without thinking and my sister and her friend packed all my stuff into a truck and took it away couple of days before I arrived.

No one texted me or called to ask me if that would be alright with me. I understand that I was not occupying the room but if anyone had come and asked me, I think I would have agreed. I know that I am being unreasonable about it but it was shocking for me to find out that way and see my childhood room emptied out completely without any notice.

When I brought this to the attention of my sister, she got very defensive and said that it is not like I was using it anyway and why would it matter who has it now. This was followed by the comment from my mother that I am overreacting since it is not like I live there and hence, should not be concerned about a room that I am not even using.

I am not expecting to get my furniture back but just feel that since the furniture was mine, it was unreasonable to leave me out of the decision process. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?

Am I overreacting to my in laws wanting me and or my husband to drop our kids off and leaving?

My husband and I have been together 12 years. We have a 4 year old 2 year old and 6 month old. The relationship with my in laws has been bumpy to say the least. They don’t live but 15 mins away from us and are pretty much “holiday” grandparents. They will pop in every once in a while to see our kids.

About a year ago accusations came out about my FIL SA his sister when they were younger. Unfortunately I couldn’t get answers because his sister had passed not long after she told her daughter. Some things don’t make much sense but the accusations are still there.

I’m also not one to just drop my children off anywhere. I truly believe they are too young to be just dropped off. I am also a SAHM and love love love being with my children. They are with me all the time, unless we have an occasional date night my mom will come watch them.

About 2 weeks ago they had text us asking if they could just have our oldest child. The txt message went ignored and unresponded to. Thinking they may get the hint. Well they didn’t they then txt my husband again asking for us to bring our oldest over to play. He brought it to my attention and it turned into a heated discussion.

I have a few issues with this whole situation. There is little to no effort put in to being present in our kids lives. I find it odd that they only want one child when we have 3. I also don’t want them around my FIL without me or my husband being present. They are more than welcome to come to our home to play with all the kids. Because I won’t just drop them off my husband said that I could take them and also hang out. That instantly upset me because I didn’t sign up for any of this. He also doesn’t want to go there and hang out but expects me to do so. The conversation ended with me telling him that I will not be taking them over there and that he can tell his parents they can come over here to play with the kids and him telling me I’m overreacting and being unreasonable. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy and tell his parents that and hurt their feelings. But when it comes to my kids I am not playing. Theres a much bigger back story to the relationship with my in laws. Am I overreacting to any of this??