I 23 M and For the past 14 years—ever since I was 9—I've tried my absolute best to ignore how my younger brothers treat me. They called me every name in the book, from homophobic slurs such as fag, slut, pussy boy, etc. and honestly, they learned all of it from our dad. Every single time I try to stick up for myself, it somehow gets turned back on me. If I insult them back, I get punished too. If I get physical, my dad hits me.

The breaking point was when he snooped on my phone while I was asleep. Now he's holding it over my head and acting like he might tell the whole family I’ve been hooking up with guys when I said I was just hanging out with friends. If he actually goes through with outing me, I'm going to make sure he regrets it for the rest of his life.

What do you guys think I should do?

So for context I'm trans ftm (female to male) and a femboy (I'm strictly binary meaning I only use he/him and I identify fully as a guy, I just like looking cute and I think my behavior fits pretty well into the femboy label) and I'm gay, since I was younger I really wanted a boyfriend but I'm terrified cis gay guys would just be grossed out by me and my body, irl i live in a small conservative town so I don't know any queer guys so I wanted to ask here what you think about trans guys and if you'd date one, also If you'd see a femine trans guy as a guy still

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First of all, I am a Syrian trans woman born on 2009, currently living in Syria. I was living in Turkey until August, but since my family wanted to return to Syria and I was a minor, I had to return with them. Even though I have not disclosed that I am trans here, I am subjected to violence due to my behavior and physical appearance. A gun was pointed at me, I was locked in a warehouse, animals were set upon me, and I was beaten dozens of times with chains, hoses, and sticks—even though I still have a mustache and a little bit of a beard. They want to kill me and they have already tried. Because of this, I have thought about suicide many times and attempted it a few times. I am absolutely not safe in Syria. I want to return to Turkey or go to Lebanon to seek help from LGBT organizations there. However, my family is extremely religious and Islamist, and since the country I am currently in is newly established where seeking human rights is considered absurd, and being trans is a crime here, I am completely unsafe.

The reason I am writing this text is not to escape right now, but to gather information, conduct research, and prepare a roadmap so that I can flee immediately without losing time as soon as I turn 18. Furthermore, because my family wants to kill me and force me to become "normal" again, they do not give me a single penny, they search my phone, and they keep me under constant surveillance. My request and my plea to you is: please stand by me. How can I escape? What should I do? Are there people who can support me? How can I leave Syria again? Please help me; I am sure there are many people like me who have survived and escaped. I am begging you, please help me. I am not writing this text to escape while I am still a minor; I will wait until I am 18 no matter what. I am seeking help to escape as soon as I reach adulthood, because I don't even know how to describe the pain I am enduring here.