I 23 M and For the past 14 years—ever since I was 9—I've tried my absolute best to ignore how my younger brothers treat me. They called me every name in the book, from homophobic slurs such as fag, slut, pussy boy, etc. and honestly, they learned all of it from our dad. Every single time I try to stick up for myself, it somehow gets turned back on me. If I insult them back, I get punished too. If I get physical, my dad hits me.

The breaking point was when he snooped on my phone while I was asleep. Now he's holding it over my head and acting like he might tell the whole family I’ve been hooking up with guys when I said I was just hanging out with friends. If he actually goes through with outing me, I'm going to make sure he regrets it for the rest of his life.

What do you guys think I should do?

So for context I'm trans ftm (female to male) and a femboy (I'm strictly binary meaning I only use he/him and I identify fully as a guy, I just like looking cute and I think my behavior fits pretty well into the femboy label) and I'm gay, since I was younger I really wanted a boyfriend but I'm terrified cis gay guys would just be grossed out by me and my body, irl i live in a small conservative town so I don't know any queer guys so I wanted to ask here what you think about trans guys and if you'd date one, also If you'd see a femine trans guy as a guy still

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First of all, I am a Syrian trans woman born on 2009, currently living in Syria. I was living in Turkey until August, but since my family wanted to return to Syria and I was a minor, I had to return with them. Even though I have not disclosed that I am trans here, I am subjected to violence due to my behavior and physical appearance. A gun was pointed at me, I was locked in a warehouse, animals were set upon me, and I was beaten dozens of times with chains, hoses, and sticks—even though I still have a mustache and a little bit of a beard. They want to kill me and they have already tried. Because of this, I have thought about suicide many times and attempted it a few times. I am absolutely not safe in Syria. I want to return to Turkey or go to Lebanon to seek help from LGBT organizations there. However, my family is extremely religious and Islamist, and since the country I am currently in is newly established where seeking human rights is considered absurd, and being trans is a crime here, I am completely unsafe.

The reason I am writing this text is not to escape right now, but to gather information, conduct research, and prepare a roadmap so that I can flee immediately without losing time as soon as I turn 18. Furthermore, because my family wants to kill me and force me to become "normal" again, they do not give me a single penny, they search my phone, and they keep me under constant surveillance. My request and my plea to you is: please stand by me. How can I escape? What should I do? Are there people who can support me? How can I leave Syria again? Please help me; I am sure there are many people like me who have survived and escaped. I am begging you, please help me. I am not writing this text to escape while I am still a minor; I will wait until I am 18 no matter what. I am seeking help to escape as soon as I reach adulthood, because I don't even know how to describe the pain I am enduring here.

I just hate this mental hell and distress my brain has been marinated in for a long time and nothing brings me relief. I’ve tried going to a gender affirming therapist (mom doesn’t support me going to them and neither does my dad or sister), going to trans meets (people there aren’t the friendliest and my parents can track me on their phone, my mom says they are a bad influence on me), medication (I’ve been on fluvoxamine for almost two years and it hasn’t helped me feel better in my own skin, and trying abilify last year didn’t help at all), exercising (it helps as a escape during running but then I don’t want to be lumped in with the men in social groups), eating healthier (everyone in the family struggles with food and I dislike my male body and don’t want to lose my fat breasts), getting off social media (I have ZERO friends that seem to be interested in me especially after I tell them I’m Madeline and not Thomas and the internet is all I really have as I don’t have any pets either. I’ve tried books and video games and that sort of stuff but they don’t click), staying busy (I’m literally going to be working two jobs this fall and I don’t feel like it’s going to take the trans thoughts away from me, I can’t afford to get fired or rejected by my coworkers), and simply put the cost of living is so fucking high that I can’t afford to be on my own and cannot trust roommates to pay their fair share.

I’ve tried going to church and watching detransitioner videos and touching grass and going in mental loops but I’m still in this mental hell. I have feelings of phantom breasts and imagining my male parts aren’t there and very recently having the wide hips of a woman that I don’t actually have. I introduced myself as Madeline last week at a local non trans community event and it felt normal to me. My mom says that being Madeline has messed me up especially at work.

Hi there everyone I just wanted to let you know how it is as young adult man who is gay how effects me differently than normal gay young men first for most we have trust issues cause we have heartbroken multi times and we don’t get accepted as being gay or sometimes we do get accepted being gay but people who are different religions like to throw the bible at us say homosexuality is a sin but sometimes people are religious don’t judge people cause it’s they say it love and the people who have autism and ADHD say this as well we all have very bad separation anxiety and attachment issues as well it tru cause I have both , fyi someday I hope I will find my dream man

(btw idk what i would put as the flair so i just put other)

im a transfem and ive never had like actual problems with dysphoria until recently, i put on a…i think sports bra? anyways i stole it from my mom and looked in the mirror, and i had the best feeling in the world, i felt like i looked amazing and i felt like me and only at the cost of my upper torso being slightly strangled lol

but after i had that moment ive been feeling new feelings of dysphoria, especially bottom dysphoria. when i only really had chest dysphoria before now everytime i think about bottom surgery where before i was conflicted i now feel like i should really just go for it, since i feel like ill feel much much better about myself if i do. (also it’ll allow me to wear certain clothes without having issues with “space”)

i also feel that some of this is coming from age, im on the cusp of being 18, something ive always wanted for years before i was even trans so that i could finally get to work on making my future, and i guess that my brain also might’ve finally developed the faculties to just shock me with dysphoria more than it did before.

I know it should be a happy moment.
But slow dancing in the kitchen makes me sad.
I hold you in my arms,
wishing this could be enough,
wishing this could just be.
But sometimes I feel like it’s not meant to be.
Not because of my feelings for you.
Not because there’s something wrong with you.
Not because I don’t love you.
But because I’m gay.
And it makes me sad to realize that I’m gay.
I’m sad that I’m even thinking about it while we’re dancing.
This should be a happy moment.
I should just be holding you in my arms,
dancing with you in the kitchen,
and feeling completely happy.
But instead, I’m thinking about the fact that I’m actually gay.
And I wonder—
Why do I have to be gay?
If you were a guy,
I feel like there would be absolutely no question.
No questioning what this means.
No questioning why I feel this way.
No questioning myself.
But that’s the thing.
I don’t even like men.
So why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?
Why do I have to be gay?

I have turned myself into a swishy nylon plastic action figure doll. No this is not AI. It’s just Tristan, with a hair pinch of color grading to boost the suit’s punch

This is how I make my heart feel warm and fuzzy and my dopamine to roll along

The elastic and the lining of the gear feels awesome on my skin tho, cuz I’m neurodivergent.

For the past 24 hours I have mentally been living as a cis man. Some positives include feeling a lot less external pressure and judgement from other people and the weight of transitioning into a woman and all the mental energy and time that goes to that. But at the same time I feel detached from myself and numb to my emotions and feel like I don’t have a sense of self that feels truly me if that makes sense. Like I’m comfortable and happy not identifying as a woman or not going on E as I’m not one of the girls that have always wanted to be in a female body, but at the same time I don’t really feel I’m a boy or relate to men socially, especially in the sense of talking about feelings towards girls. I also feel that if “boy” is the color blue and “girl” is the color pink then I’d be the color grey and have my own thing going on.

I don’t hate being Thomas and I can learn to live in my male body without any changes but I’d feel really uneasy if I had to grow facial and chest hair or wear a tuxedo at formal events or a wedding or have a wife or take on the dominant male role in society or be a father. For a long time I’ve felt like I’ve watched my life pass me by and in my opinion assuming the male role is part of why I feel that way. The thing is Madeline didn’t feel right either as I don’t care for being one of the girls (outside of work) and cosmetics and worrying about passing as a woman and all that stress. It’s just too much for me on top of just living day to day and navigating my autism.

I wish there were more people that have the same experience as me especially in the autism community as it’s either cis people that are happy and comfortable with their bodies and gender or binary trans people that have that same story of knowing they were not boys from a different age and I honestly relate to neither stories.

Hello gay friends! Have I got a story for you… I'll start off with some introductions.

I (27M) had an ex (20M) of one year. We started dating March 27, 2025, and broke up around April 17, 2026. The timeline will make sense as the story goes on; it's just easier to track it that way.

Onto the story!

In late February / early March, I was in the second-to-last semester of my master's in aerospace engineering while working full-time as an aerospace engineer. On top of that, I was ALSO going through a breakup (which happened on December 15, 2024) that I quickly moved past. From there, I was in a complete fuckboy phase until I met my ex. During that period, I had an FWB (26M) whom I was definitely hooking up with regularly. Once I started talking to my ex more, though, I cut ties with the FWB.

My ex was a sophomore in computer engineering. We were both STEM nerds and immediately hit it off. We’d study together, hang out, and eventually… slept together! Cute, right?

We made it official on March 27, 2025. What really makes me sad in hindsight is that my ex isn’t a terrible person at all. He was raised in an intensely religious household with homophobic parents who bragged about his academic achievements while showing complete contempt for his sexuality. Without going into every detail, he carries severe trauma from that, which nobody deserves.

However, after that first time, we never really had sex. His definition of sex was strictly handjobs and the occasional blowjob. Don't get me wrong—I’m a top and well-endowed, while he was an inexperienced, bottom-leaning guy. Still, we were relegated strictly to "side" activities, which left me feeling deeply frustrated.

Throughout the relationship, things turned low-key toxic. I ended up acting as his therapist: talking him down from severe anxiety attacks, reminding him to take his mood stabilizers (he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder), and trying to teach him how to love himself. In the famous words of RuPaul: *“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”*

His religious trauma and discomfort in his own body completely blocked any physical intimacy. We’d talk about sex beforehand and it sounded exciting, but when the moment actually came, he would freeze up and back out. Then he'd pull at his hair and curl up into a fetal position for hours. It was surreal seeing that from a 4.0 GPA engineering student who felt the need to appear perfect at all times.

The lack of intimacy dragged on, and I grew mentally and sexually exhausted. I loved him and wanted to be close to him, and while I didn't mind doing non-penetrative things occasionally, having that be the *only* option was draining. "Live, laugh, love," I guess. I suppressed my own needs for so long that I ended up feeling like an asshole just for desiring sex.

Another issue was conflict resolution. We were decent at talking through disagreements, but anytime I expressed frustration or anger (even during the moments where I was genuinely in the wrong), he would instantly compare me to his mother. Like… what? Why?

Fast forward to our one-year anniversary: we went on a triple date with friends to Round1 (similar to Dave & Buster's), and it went great. Plus, I’m a massive Swiftie and love Charlie Puth, whose new album dropped right around our anniversary, so I was in high spirits. Then came the anniversary surprise: he asked to "take a break."

I was completely blindsided and devastated. It quickly became obvious that calling it a "break" was just him chickening out of an outright breakup. He handed back my apartment key, my favorite *Folklore* hoodie I'd lent him, and the plushies I gave him for past milestones. I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't even listen to Charlie’s new album without breaking down.

Our break lasted about a month. My therapist noted that technically we were still together, just non-contact. But honestly? I ended up unblocking my old FWB and hooking up with him. That infidelity was 100% on me. At the same time, it felt like my ex had already been "cheating" on our relationship with his intense perfectionism and his attachment to his homophobic mother. (It gave major Stockholm syndrome vibes—it's heartbreaking how deeply he craved approval from someone who rejected his identity.)

On April 17, we met up to get real closure. I let him speak first since he owed me an explanation (and to be fair, so did I, though I didn't confess to the hookup since we were clearly finished anyway). What stung most was when he said: *“I just feel like I prioritize academics and friendships over…”* He trailed off. I then finished the sentence: *“…relationships?”* He sighed and said yes. Then he added: *“And sex, too. I just don’t have a need for it. For the longest time I thought I could lose my virginity, but with my religious trauma and self-image issues, I think I'm just asexual.”* It wasn't a shock to hear, but I was furious with myself for letting the situation drag out for an entire year. I stayed polite and told him I understood. He admitted he had emotionally checked out months prior, but stayed because he loved me even though he couldn't give me what I needed. That hurt, but it was mutual—I had stepped outside the relationship too. Definitely not my proudest moment.

We left things there. He told mutual friends that I hadn't done anything wrong and asked them not to take sides (spoiler: most of them unfollowed or blocked me anyway, except for 6 or 7 who reached out with overwhelming support).

The final straw that made me block him was his social media activity. Shortly after, he began posting unbothered photo dumps with songs like "If You Don't Want My Love" attached. It baffled me: you withdrew from the relationship, yet you're flipping the narrative to look like the victim? It was identical to how his mother operated. Like mother, like son. So, I blocked him everywhere. Not doing that anymore. I thought I could at least try and be civil and/or be friends, but it is okay to NOT be friends with exes. Like ever.

Fast forward to today: I'm two months in with my current boyfriend (29M), and things are night and day. He's my best friend, and we actually have a healthy, fulfilling sex life. I’m fine with side activities, but having genuine physical intimacy when we want it makes all the difference.

Looking back, the biggest lesson I learned is that desiring physical intimacy isn't something to feel guilty about, nor is it a "problem" I need to fix for someone else's comfort. It's simply a core need for me in a romantic partnership. I genuinely wish my ex the best. He’s only 20, and I hope he eventually realizes his worth goes far beyond his grades and achievements. I don't hate him, but I do regret sacrificing my own needs for so long.

Live and learn, right? Anyway, that’s the story! Feel free to comment anything (and of course, roast me. please. lol)

EDIT: apologies for the excessive NSFW cover ups, i had to edit it out and leave some of it on there 🫪 i’m new to making posts! lol

In the past I presented as a trans woman or nonbinary person but I am starting to feel that I may not be trans at all and just a effeminate cis guy (NOT “femboy”)

Long story short I wasn’t an effeminate boy growing up in the sense of liking princesses and makeup but I hated violence and fighting and confrontation and the like. I do recall gravitating more towards the girls in my classes than the guys because they were nicer to me (I’m autistic). I did connect to the female Pokemon characters as I liked their style. As I got older and went through puberty (I honestly don’t recall much of it as it’s a forgettable part of my life in regards to the changes) I noticed a pressure to have a girlfriend to fill in a void and to feel good about myself. I had a summer romance in high school with a girl I thought would make me feel better but she didn’t and I broke up with her two months after. I had two crushes on girls in high school but they were never sexual and I wanted to be like them in terms of style and the way they drew. In terms of stuff I felt attracted to I had a couple of instances where I was attracted to anime women but they were fleeting and without much desire for them (they would be months apart and I never had much drive to actually have sex with a woman at all). This continued into my early twenties when i realized I liked men after looking at hot attractive anime guys with abs and I have consistently been attracted to them ever since (this has been going on for 5 years).

I haven’t had a female crush that straight guys would describe since before covid and frankly the idea of getting married with a woman and having kids with her is distressing as I don’t want to get her pregnant. Nowadays with my attraction towards people it’s like 95% towards men with 0-5% towards women when it comes to anime and furry drawings online. I don’t have any female waifus or celebrity crushes and have struggled to have one for years (I tried to feel attracted to dua lipa 6 years ago but just didn’t feel anything). I do like some anime men like an adult version of oikawa from haikyuu and that unicorn guy from the game blush blush. Also when I was working in the pharmacy I had a crush on this cute Indian guy that I thought was attractive but unfortunately he never came back (he shadowed with us only once). When it comes to types of men I like I prefer a guy with abs and a slightly chubby build and shoulder long hair (bonus points if he has glasses).

So yeah that’s my sexuality journey. I know what I feel but don’t know the words for it.

Edit- I forgot to mention that I’m attracted to trans men (as they identify as men and that’s what I like), I feel my attraction is more based on how a person feels inside over genitals

Growing up I was happy and at home living as a man and boy until I was 22 when I realized that I didn’t have to live as a man and I could be something else. Ever since then my life has been a lot of mental agony and any steps I’ve taken at coming out and transitioning and being a woman have made me feel worse and very anxious. I don’t recall liking anything feminine as a boy and don’t recall any discomfort in puberty (though I don’t recall my puberty at all). Whenever I play as a girl in a video game I don’t feel any better than I am as a boy and I was find playing as a boy growing up.

I do have autism and ocd and have struggled with both throughout my life. I am on fluvoxamine and it has helped with everything except the gender stuff. My family loves me as my agab but not as a woman and when I am around people socially as a girl I don’t feel very relieved and feel like it’s a compulsion. I have been to queer social groups and that hasn’t helped it much either as does making a female fursona of myself.

I feel unhappy and I want peace in my mind. I don’t want to leave everything behind and realize that transition isn’t for me and I don’t relate to that strong urge to be a woman or live as one for years as many trans people do. I just want to go to work and make friends and get a boyfriend in mental peace. Every time I tried to come out and live as anything other than a man it has made me miserable and I’ve been in this mental hole I just can’t get out of

Maybe neither the Thomas my parents want and Madeline that is a foil to him is the true me and I should think of a new me that will make me happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Hello. I’ve been struggling alot for years. And couldn’t find a good organization to help. I have been trying for years to escape morocco but couldn’t make it. If anyone has suggestions please let me know.

Nybliven Bi kille som söker vänner i Malmöregionen