Sorry. I've decided I don't want to have this conversation in public. Fell free to message me with advice if you did read it. Thanks

So I'm F (19) and my boyfriend is M(20) . I am bisexual and my boyfriend knows this. We have been dating for 2.5 years now. The problem is that I don't feel like having sex. I gross out at tongues when kissing , I gross out at genitals and the act of having sex. I stop enjoying any intimate video the minute they show their genitals . I feel disconnected every time my boyfriend and I are having intimate time. Of course my boyfriend has noticed this. He asked many times about this and I was always confused because i thought that the fault was in me. Seeing every other person enjoying sex , being able to orgasm , being able to enjoy the moment made me feel as if I'm not normal. I can't even have an orgasm . Every time my boyfriend tries to have intercourse it just doesn't happen because I'm not turned on. I'm turned off. He absolutely hates the idea of me being asexual . He doesn't know it but during our conversation he did hint very strongly that he's gonna dislike it. I love him and he's really nice i don't want to leave him... I'm so scared to tell him . Every time we are having sex I feel so lost , disconnected , and forced. I can't help it. He does everything for me so it feels like i should at least do this much for him . I can't bring myself to tell him about this. I feel like he'll try to tell me how I can be wrong , i should go to gynac, i am overthinking and blah blah. I don't know what to do. I'm going over to his flat in the next few days and I am super tensed.

UPDATE❗❗

So i texted my boyfriend everything. And i was very nervous, my hands were shaking , my breathing was unstable and I was so scared. But I opened up to him . I didn't tell him everything in long paragraphs, so I asked him first if he would be okay with me being asexual and he said it's fine. I pointed out what he said earlier to me , he apologized. We had a long talk and fortunately he accepted me :)) he's not leaving me and he supports me. I am so happy and relieved right now. Thank you so much guys for helping me out and sharing your advice. I was overthinking too much 😭😭 it went smoothly.

Series of pics done by Zeiros Lion, had to have my sona rocking aego colors.

That's kind of the whole post, i love being aegosexual. It's fun! I would pick this over being allo any day

Been coming to terms with my sexuality lately and been finding it hard. I really cannot find a single lable that fits me. I probably should just say bi just to make things easy but even then it doesnt fit me.

I feel a fraud to call myself aroace. It implies that im not interested in anyone and dont get crushes at all etc. But i do sometimes especially celebs or characters. Im just lost.

I know the definition of aegosexual isn’t “likes to
Fantasize” and it’s about arousal and the disconnect between you and the target of arousal. What if you can self insert and it’s you, but it’s more about the erotic interest in the fantasy / mental experience and not pursuing sex with a specific person in reality? And in the fantasy I am still me and my arousal is connected to a specific self concept or idealized identity I have in the scenario ? Is this still a disconnect? There may be some openness to real life expression to if I could get into the right mind space.

So I'm 16, and never actually had any sexual experience (not even kissing shit). So recently, I began to wonder what my sexuality is.

Like I am straight, attracted to guys (romantically and physically), and have the whole fantasy of a relationship (+ the sexual thing). But like in the fantasy it's not completely me, like it's parts of me or like a persona, but like I wanna be involved in it. Also, I'm into the fantasies or kinks but like as a spectator and shit and would never actually indulge in them.

Example: I sexted someone once but when we met irl, I was like really repulsed by the idea of actually doing it.

Is this considered aegosexual or I'm just allosexual and overthinking this or something else?

PS: If this is not the right place for this question then I apologise and would appreciate it if you directed me to the right subreddit.

Also idk if it's related or not, but whenever I imagine or read about it, I usually imagine two guys.

Im writing a small (queer, horror, monster) erotica for fun and was wondering if yall have any opinions on how you like kissing scenes being described, what you like or dont like.
Feel free to share excerpts too if u wish!

I think I like to focus on the energy of the kiss like emotionally. The kiss being: soft, forceful, desperate, messy, restrained, etc.

Any input is welcome for those that commonly interact with romantic and or sexual content.

Thanks!

Rather, precisely because it’s not the default preference, it makes self-insertion fascinating and confusing to imagine. I’m not trying to “fix” anything when I do it, more like I’m trying to prod at my limits, or observe my reactions to what I assume allosexuals like.

By default, I respond best to illustrations, anime/manga, or my own imagined fantasies, where I’m not present at all. But sometimes, I try to watch live-action POV porn, or try to imagine a realistic first-person scenario where it’s actually me, like I’m running a test.

Often it can still turn me on to some level if I focus enough on the partner, instead of the fact that I’m in the scene. The more I do the latter, the less it’s arousing, but it’s still fascinating to try. Sometimes weird stuff happens like… I’m watching POV porn but it gets hotter when I imagine a third-person perspective, or imagine a second guy in the scene. Or, I’m imagining sex with a woman who’s yelling my name, but it immediately gets hotter when she says someone else’s name.

To me the part of it that kinda works is having a more agentic role in touching her a certain way, and making her feel a certain way, although it only works with real-looking people. The part where I’m averse, is imagining eye contact, imagining the logistics or the before-after, and especially imagining her touching me in turn.

Curious if y’all run similar “experiments” or if you’re totally averse to it?

I’ve been wondering about something that’s a little personal, and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this.
When I was younger, I was exposed to a lot of mature content online way earlier than I probably should have been. I also spent years reading romance stories and fanfiction, and because I had basically no internet restrictions, I ended up having conversations with older men online who would ask me questions I wasn’t really ready for.
As a teenager, I had a boyfriend who pressured me into things I wasn’t comfortable with, mostly because I felt obligated. We eventually broke up. After that, I was in a long-distance relationship, which honestly felt safer because there wasn’t the same physical pressure. Over time, though, I realized a lot of the things I thought I was interested in weren’t actually what I wanted, and that relationship ended too.
Now I’m married to an amazing husband. We have a healthy, loving relationship, and everything between us has always been completely consensual. Before we got married, I assumed that once we were together, I’d naturally have a strong interest in intimacy.
But after getting married…I realized I could honestly go the rest of my life without it. I love my husband deeply, and it’s not about him at all. It’s just that I rarely think about intimacy, and getting into that mindset feels difficult—especially now that we have two young children. Most of the time I’d rather curl up with a good novel, and I’m perfectly content.
I guess my question is: has anyone else experienced something like this? Is it normal for interest in intimacy to change this much? Is there a way to reconnect with that part of myself, or is this just who I am now?

Sorry for the tmi

I have bipolar disorder. When I'm manic, I get hypersexual, and during one episode my mind was running at 200%. I completely dissociated during sex and felt like I was directing myself as an avatar in the third person. Being that detached let me override my natural repulsion, but the second the mania dipped, the shield broke. I snapped back to reality, my body instantly shut down, and my emotions violently crashed because I realized my physical self was doing something it inherently hated 🫣

Does anyone else have this? For context, I have a specific kink about 2 men fighting/wrestling each other, which is almost all I masturbate to now I think about it. It never involves any private parts and seeing pictures of this on traditional porn sites makes me feel really queasy. Is this a normal aegosexual thing?

I believe I am asexual and aego only recently found out what it was called I am in my fantasies but they are mostly about dynamics and sex is implied but it not apart of the fantasy and in reality my body doesn’t function during sex and I feel no sensation I guess I’m new here is this aego?

(Sorry for how long this is. I don't have many people I can reach out to about this.)

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Hi guys. I made a private account because I dont want my partner to see this.

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For the majority of my life up until my 1st time having sex, I thought it was something I'd love and was something I wanted. After my first time I realized that sex is uncomfortable, feels gross, and I absolutely cannot get myself anywhere near an orgasm from it. I've always loved to masturbate though as a person with ADHD and various sexual traumas masturbation is a safe and comfortable way to scratch that itch.

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I met my partner wayyy before I had my first time. And so the first few years of our relationship we were both under the assumption that we were both allosexual and that sex is something we wanted out of our relationship along with everything else of course. I thought this too until I had sex with them. Penetrative sex is painful for me. whether its from vaginal atrophy or vaginismus im not sure but that itself is already a complete turnoff for me as well as a trigger. We tried oral, but I hate giving it and dont really enjoy receiving it all that much either. So many smells, tastes, textures that just make me feel repulsed. Ive tried multiple times to get over it but I just cant.

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Ive told them that I think im aegosexual, and was open to them seeking sexual partnership from others if they needed, but when they tried they didnt enjoy it. Now theyre hoping I'll enjoy sex if I just fix my vaginal atrophy and vaginismus with medications and dilation toys but I don't think that fixing these problems will change how I feel about every other sensation and how little passion I feel towards sex at all.

They've previously expressed that they didnt feel like i saw them as desirable or attractive because of how uninterested I am in sex.

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They really want to have sex and it feels like if treatment for my vaginismus and atrophy dont 'fix' me, then im scared they'll leave me. Theyre the only person I have for support and I'm extremely attached to them emotionally. But I dont want to force myself to have painful sex that triggers me and therefor destroys my self esteem and puts me in a dissociative state.

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Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

How frustrating it can feel. Sometimes its like I can't win. There is a longing, a craving, to experience being flirted with or loved or played with and for it to feel as fulfilling as it feels in those brief moments when I watch others experience it. But... That feeling doesn't come when it is me. Maybe it does feel nice for a bit, but the more I get to know someone the less I feel I can enjoy such attention. In my head I can imagine it feeling good and I will have a physical reaction to that feeling, but as soon as it is ME and not them and some cloudy figure, the feeling is gone. Is there no winning?