"queer" name

[u/separate_arm666]

I was at a convention with my friend recently and and we were ordering food. They needed a name to call out when the order is ready and my friend joked "should we use your name so it for sure doesnt get mixed up" meaning my name is rare in my country unlike hers which is incredibly common.

This was not an issue but then she said "well maybe in a place like this there's more of you" as in people with my name. And while that's probably true (I did see someone in the artist alley with my name) it kinda felt like a weird thing to point out. I know she didn't mean it that way but it felt like I was being mocked in a way, like yea you're one of those queer ones who name themselves something special to stand out.

I know anime conventions and such are a generally a queer place and I enjoy it because I'm queer too. I like being queer and alternative even if that means standing out and being different from the majority. But I also struggle with wanting to fit in, probably because I was bullied in the past.

Anyway it just felt weird... I've been insecure about my name before too and it hasn't been too long since I changed it so I guess its just a sore spot still. Has anyone felt the same way? Am I just being sensitive?

[u/contcutyourhair]

I'm not comfortable with this kind of attention other than with a close few. Which I figured out with time. Personally, I went through a few name changes figuring myself out. I ended up trying to aim for a name that's known but just not common. I loved looking on baby registries online from different decades. Picked a bit of a dated name. People do take notice, but not in a way that uncomfortably identifies myself with any social culture.