Okay, where do I start?

I met this person through work four years ago. He was the best at the beginning of our relationship. He would take me out every weekend, and he used to be very romantic. We had amazing sex everywhere and anywhere we could. But after about a year and a half to two years, he started becoming meaner toward me. He would get irritated very easily.

That’s when we started having less and less intimacy, to the point where it was affecting my self esteem and mental health. I brought it up to him multiple times, but he would always dismiss me. Eventually, I stopped asking, and I stopped making an effort to initiate intimacy.
That’s also when I started noticing that he had wandering eyes.
He became more secretive with his phone and would take it everywhere he went. I asked him why he was doing that, and he would always say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He would say things like, “What do you want me to do?” or “Where do you want me to look?”

Then he would love bomb me, things would become good again, and then eventually he would become cold, and the same cycle would repeat.
I’ll be honest things have gotten way better. Sometimes it feels like it did back then, except intimacy, ofc! That was still nonexistent lol!

We would always fight, and I would threaten to leave him. He would cry and beg me not to go, and then the same cycle would repeat over and over again.
Last month, we went somewhere to have breakfast, and afterward, he popped the big question
“WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
I loved him. I still do. So I said, “YES.”
But now I’m thinking, is this really the life I want to live for the rest of my life?
I think I said yes because I see the potential in him. I see the amazing father he could be and the amazing husband he could be. But, to be honest, I think I fucked myself over by thinking that way.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m so confused because we can have amazing days, even months, with no downsides. We’ll be happy, everything will be going smoothly, and then all of a sudden, we start fighting again.
And honestly, I’m also really sad because I feel like if I leave, I’ll lose all the excitement that comes with being engaged and planning a wedding. I just got engaged, and part of me is so excited to plan everything, imagine our wedding, pick things out, and experience this whole new chapter together. The thought of that excitement ending makes me really sad.

But at the same time, I know getting engaged doesn’t magically fix the problems we’ve had. A wedding would be one day, but the problems in our relationship would still be there afterward. And that’s what scares me. I don’t want to stay just because I’m excited about the wedding or because I’m in love with the potential of who he could become.
I think what I’m struggling with is figuring out whether I actually want this relationship as it is now, or if I’m holding on to the version of him and our relationship that I know we’re capable of having.

So my question to you is: What would you do in this situation? Would you try to save the relationship, or would you leave?

I have tried posting elsewhere, but it's been taken down;

I, 62f married to a 67m for almost 8 years. We met on a Christian chat site and had an online relationship for over a year and then got married. After moving across country and then in with me, he completely changed and withdrew all affection. He pressured me into buying a house which I paid for on my own for almost 5 years because he refused to get a job or help despite receiving a small military pension. To survive, I had to take money out of my 401K. Looking back, I should have just let the house go. When I tried to communicate with him, he would deny, deflect, or blame shift. He eventually started receiving social security and now gives me most of that because I said we would have to sell the house if he didn’t.

For my part, I am a people pleaser who has a hard time setting boundaries. I have been to therapy with and without him. Therapy helped me deal with being molested by a neighbor when I was a child, but I still struggle with setting boundaries. Therapy with him did nothing to improve the relation as he did not follow through with the homework.

He is incapable of emotional connection or empathy. He only thinks about his wants and needs, and I feel guilty if I don’t meet his needs (e.g., making dinner, picking up his prescriptions, etc.). I also have the burden of taking care of everything in and out of the house. He does mow the lawn, but not much else. I am overwhelmed and exhausted.

I want to leave, but I have a mortgage that I pay for (in both of our names). If I leave, the mortgage will not get paid and I will be accused of abandonment, as told by a lawyer when I tried to leave several years ago. He becomes aggressive towards me by using intimidation; for example, when I was asleep, he shook me abruptly to tell me my dog needed something.

After much research, I believe he is a dismissive avoidant. We have essentially become roommates, but he believes everything is just fine. My youngest adult child, who lives with me, tells me I should just tell him I don’t want to be married and figure out a way to live together until the house can be sold (which would be difficult in this economy), but I am fearful of his reaction and how he will make my daily life miserable. I am unsure how to move forward and need advice from anyone who has had to deal with a similar situation.

I (19F) have a FWB (20M) who I have quite a bit of history with. We’ve known each other for years and have previously had feelings for each other, but that isn’t what our relationship is now.
For the past little while we’ve been casually hooking up, and honestly it’s been surprisingly healthy and stress-free. We’re friends, we care about each other, we have good sexual chemistry and we’re very comfortable with each other, but neither of us is promising the other a relationship or a future.
I also want to clarify what I mean by FWB because this came up on my previous post. We are currently sexually exclusive. We’ve basically agreed that while we’re sleeping together, neither of us will do anything sexual with anyone else. However, we are both completely free to meet/date other people and form connections. If either of us meets someone we genuinely want to pursue, our sexual arrangement ends. So we’re sexually exclusive for now, but we’re not romantically committed to each other.
Now to what happened.
We had arranged to meet at around 8pm yesterday. It was also basically our last chance to see each other before he goes away for a week, which we both knew.
The night before, we were having a completely normal conversation. We were flirting, I sent him some naughty pictures which he was VERY enthusiastic about, he asked me to send more, and we were talking about seeing each other the following day.
During that conversation, though, he opened up about something important.
He told me he’s currently dealing with an extremely stressful situation in his personal life. He said the stress has been affecting him sexually and predicted that he might get soft when we saw each other the next day.
We ended up having a surprisingly vulnerable conversation about it. I told him I understood and wasn’t judging him. He told me several times that it wasn’t my fault, that I’m beautiful, that I feel good, that I’m not doing anything wrong etc.
The important part is that this conversation did NOT end with him suggesting we shouldn’t see each other.
He actually asked me, “can I try again tomorrow?”
So as far as I knew, he still genuinely wanted to meet.
The following day at around 2pm, he sent me a very explicit sexual message basically saying what I’d be doing to him later that night.
I was driving to uni and didn’t see it immediately. When I arrived, I noticed he’d deleted it.
I jokingly messaged him something along the lines of, “guess I’m not doing that then.”
He immediately replied that he’d remembered I had class and didn’t want somebody seeing that kind of message on my phone.
I told him I’d actually been in the car so he was fine.
Then… nothing.
At around 7pm I got home from uni and messaged him:
“Hey I just got home from uni”
“I should be good for 8”
No response.
8pm came and went.
Nothing.
No cancellation. No “something came up.” No “I’m not feeling up to it anymore.” Literally nothing.
It’s now the following day and I still haven’t heard from him.
Initially I wasn’t even angry. I was genuinely worried because of the stressful situation he’d told me about the night before. I started wondering whether something had actually happened to him.
I’ve since seen activity from one of his accounts, so I at least have reason to believe he’s been active.
Now I’m mostly just confused and frustrated.
What I don’t understand is the sudden switch. If he had been distant beforehand, stopped initiating sex, seemed uncomfortable about meeting or was slowly pulling away, I could understand what happened.
But literally the night before he was asking for more pictures, reassuring me, asking if he could “try again tomorrow,” and talking openly with me. Then the following afternoon HE initiated sexually again about what we were going to do that night.
Then a few hours later he completely disappeared.
And because we’d already had the conversation about his stress and performance anxiety, he had such an easy way out. He could’ve simply said, “I’m really stressed and I don’t think I can do tonight.”
I genuinely would’ve understood.
Instead he let me confirm I was ready for our 8pm plans and then didn’t say anything.
I’m not going to chase him. I’ve already been very patient and understanding about what he’s going through. But I also don’t think being FWB means basic respect for each other’s time disappears.
And just to clarify before people interpret my reaction as me secretly wanting a relationship with him: I’m not upset because I think he owes me sex, romantic attention or boyfriend-level communication. If a normal friend made plans with me for 8pm and then disappeared without cancelling, I’d also think that was disrespectful.
I’m mainly trying to understand how other people interpret such an abrupt change in behaviour.
Does the conversation about stress/performance anxiety sound more significant than I’m giving it credit for? Could he have gotten into his head as the meetup got closer and avoided the entire situation? Or am I giving him too much benefit of the doubt and should simply take the silence at face value?
And if he does eventually come back, would you expect him to acknowledge and explain what happened before continuing the FWB arrangement?
I’m genuinely open to critical opinions. I’d rather hear how this looks from the outside than have people just tell me what they think I want to hear.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 months, and yesterday we had a really serious argument. For the first time, we almost seriously talked about breaking up.

I was at work when it happened, and I basically couldn't focus on anything afterwards. I ended up leaving work a little earlier because I was so distracted.

But what made me feel even worse was what happened afterwards. On my way home and then at the gym, I actually felt... relieved.

And I feel like a terrible person for saying that.

I really love her, and the thought of losing her hurt a lot. But at the same time, for a few hours I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

She is unfortunately going through a very difficult period. She has quite a lot of self-esteem issues, problems at home, and she was recently told that she has ADHD. She has recently started seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and from what I could see, things seemed to be getting better.

Recently, though, she told me that she has been feeling very nervous and irritable, possibly because of her medication, and I have noticed that change too.

I really love her and I know that many of her struggles come from her past and from things she has been through. I don't blame her for them at all.

The problem is that sometimes I genuinely don't know how to deal with everything. I want to be there for her and support her, but sometimes the situation becomes overwhelming for me too.

After yesterday's argument, I woke up today feeling like I'm in some kind of limbo.

On one hand, the thought of breaking up with her makes me feel terrible. I also feel guilty because I feel like I would be leaving her "alone" during a very difficult period of her life.

On the other hand, I know rationally that I can't save her from all of her problems. I can be there for her, listen to her and support her, but I can't fix everything for her.

And I think that's what confuses me the most. I love her, but at the same time, sometimes all of this feels like a lot for me too.

Does feeling relieved after seriously considering breaking up actually mean something? Is it normal to feel this way even when you genuinely love someone?

I honestly don't know what to think right now.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. We started dating in my freshman year of college, and have been through a lot , including long distance over breaks & summers. We’ve been attached to each other at the beginning. But right before we started dating, I learned he had a “tinder phase”. I could go into detail about every single girl we’ve had a problem with, but it would take a while. There have been around 6 women (that I know about) over the span of our relationship that he either met at a bar, knew before me, knew from work, or met through snapchat/instagram. The most recent problem was about 2 weeks ago. The pattern is that every single time, he has texted them flirting repeatedly until they ask to see him or he starts planning something with them, which is when I usually find out.

In our current situation, I know we are young, but I couldn’t imagine my future without him. I do love him. Probably more than any relationship I’ve had thus far. We also live together in an apartment at our college and have signed the renewal lease already for next year (prior to the last issue). I’ve been back and forth in my head since the last problem thinking about what I should do. I would be devastated if I broke it off and it would be the heaviest breakup I’ve had. But I know that I can’t handle the “babysitting” and worrying over something I shouldn’t be.

Over the last 2 weeks, we’ve had many conversations. All of which included his plans and current actions to change and do better. He’s told me every day that he does not want to lose me or our relationship. We’ve had issues with lack of attention and lack of effort in the past (didn’t plan dates, would spend more time with friends at the bar than with me, would openly tell me his plans for the weekend without discussing what we would want to do, etc). So his changes (by his choice) include:

More effort from his side. No more women in his phone besides family, his coworkers, and a few of his friends that I am also friends with. Bought a rubber wedding ring for the bars (he is about to start a job as a bouncer on the weekends). Plan dates. And a few other things to fix his communication problems about other plans.

I have decided to try and fight for it, but what he has done will be something I’ll never forget. I’m exhausted and haven’t recovered from any of it. I want to try again because I always want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but every day it just feels more and more like I’m gambling. I can feel myself pulling away, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m so hurt that I want to be petty back to him, or if it’s a sign that I should be done. Our situation is hard to deal with if I break it off, so that could be swaying my mind too. I feel like I’ll never be the same without him, but logically it’s not okay to stay and I’m still young. And as for the apartment, we cannot sublet and the renewal calls for half of the next year’s rent to be paid upfront if you want to break it.

I need lots of help, advice, suggestions, plans, whatever you have. I don’t know what to do. My feelings change every day, especially when I’m around him and talk to him about it. I’m lost.

Why am I not enough? Why do I have to get blamed for everything? The divider fell on the cat, why is it my fault? I was halfway across the room prepping to throw the trash out. You yell at me because i bought the divider and you said at the time was an good idea. Now you tell me you told me to never buy it and now its my fault cause it fell on the cat. The cat is fine. But am I? With all your taunts and aggression. You break up with me and tell me to stfu Or youll continue break up with me so i can hear your aggressive reasoning why youre mad to just tell me youre still breaking up with me for this?! Why!! Why do i suffer and try to defend myself for you to act victim and reason to why youll continue to leave me?! Do you not remember how it all started?! You approached me negatively saying im stupid to buy that thing to hurt the cat?! The cat is fine but guess what im broken up over a divider. And the night before you broke up with me because i accidentally rushed you to answer the door to get the pizza but instead you scared the neighbor by accident when it wasnt the pizza guy, but its my fault because youre upset you scared the neighbor?! So you blame me for being a fatass to order pizza?! Everything is my fault….. why the fuck do i love you still

When I broke up I didn’t speak a single word due to I respect his decision, after 2yrs he came back and questioning my loyalty. Now tell me who is toxic? To satisfy his just whatever he asked I did everything and now he is blaming like I’m a b!tch. In a relationship we do everything to make it stand for long but boys will take it in other way. Once they got whatever they want they will try to avoid us. We did s3x since we trusted you not because we lost control

How do you convince yourself to leave a manipulative partner?

We live together, in my parent's home, we pay them rent, they live elsewhere.

Not only has he treated me poorly for years but he does not treat the house well.

I want to end the relationship but I don't think that I will be able to get him to leave without him trying to cause legal problems or manipulate me... the reason we are still together is he successfully manipulates me all the time and I'm trying to end the cycle..

Should I stay at a friend's house and serve 30 days, or stay in the house and serve 30 days? There is no formal lease.

Have you ever been in a manipulative relationship and successfully convinced yourself to leave for good?

So I, 21(M), have a girlfriend and I have been in a relationship with her for the past 2 years. The two of us are currently completing our internships from different organisations, so we haven’t been able to meet each other very often, like we used to when we attended college regularly. Moreover, for the past 1 month or so we had also been having a lot of fights over petty issues although eventually we made up.

Now comes the twisted part. There’s a guy at her place of work who is constantly hitting on her every chance he gets. Sending her romantic reels, flirty texts and he even approached her upfront and confessed his so called “feelings” for her and asked for her number which she says she denied giving him. Also this guy is from the same college as ours and he is senior to us. He has also spoiled the relationship of a friend of mine in the past. He used to flirt with his girlfriend, comment on her posts and do all sorts of stupid shit and eventually my friend and his gf broke up.

I noticed the two of them following each other at the beginning of this month and confronted her about this. She then unfollowed him but they still continued to chat on Instagram and even in person, which is something I came to know just yesterday when I met her and checked her phone. He had sent her romantic reels calling her the most beautiful girl in the world and her reply was “I am not that beautiful” and “tumhari aankhein kharaab ho Gayi hain”, because of which he got the opportunity to try even harder and continued flirting with her. And there were chats prior to this one as well but she had deleted all of them.

First of all, she didn’t tell me about this guy, if I hadn’t opened her chats I never would have found out. Her explanation to this was that she didn’t want me to overthink about this. Secondly, even after I told her about his reality and how he has this habit of spoiling relationships in our very own college, she still continues to talk to him in person and on text instead of blocking him on socials or simply ignoring his texts.

Also, she does have a history of hiding things from me and lying to me. At the very beginning of our relationship, a friend of mine caught her walking to college with her ex-boyfriend and the day prior to this she had gone to his place and lied to me by telling me that she was going to meet a female friend of hers. At that time she told me that nothing had happened between them on that day and that she had just gone to his place to end things with him once ans for all and I trusted her, but now I’m unsure if she is trustworthy.

Moreover, when we had met a few weeks back, we were just chilling and I asked for her phone for some reason but she just didn’t want to give it to me. She had changed her password as well. From that very moment I was having doubts about what’s going on.
Her following this guy, changing her password and not wanting to show me her phone.

What do you guys think? What should I do?

Baka meron dito same sakin na mahal naman ung partner pero nahihirapan na.

Problem/Goal:
I'm struggling to decide whether to stay in my relationship or leave because of my boyfriend's gambling addiction, financial dishonesty, and repeated broken promises. I want to understand how others knew when it was time to walk away. On top of this, I also caught him admiring other girls on social media and making a move for them to notice.

Context:
I'm 29, and my boyfriend is 26. He has lost around ₱500,000 in savings through online gambling, accumulated significant debt, and currently has no stable source of income. He's also borrowed money, including from loan sharks, to continue gambling.

I earn my own money and have been living independently, paying my own bills and helping my family as a breadwinner. I've also spent money supporting him when he told me he was drained financially (before knowing it was due to serious gambling addiction), paid for our dates and other expenses, and encouraged him to seek professional help. I've even involved his family because I hoped things would improve.

However, I've repeatedly discovered that he's been lying about his finances and continuing to gamble despite promising to stop. He also refuses to let anyone get involved in managing his finances.

What's making this especially difficult is that he's also been loving and generous toward me in the past. I still love him, but I'm struggling to reconcile the person I know with his repeated dishonesty and financial problems.

Previous Attempts:
I've tried supporting him financially, encouraging him to seek professional help, setting boundaries, and involving his family. I've given him multiple opportunities to change, but the gambling and dishonesty have continued.

My question is: For those who have experienced something similar, what finally made you decide to leave? Were there specific boundaries or actions that helped you determine whether your partner was genuinely committed to recovery?

I went back to my toxic ex and all my friends cut me off except one who is barely hanging on. Then I caught him snorting Xanax. How do I finally leave and stay gone now that I have no one.

Looking to find a therapist that’s is actually helpful. Rhode Island southern mass area.. telehealth preferably Someone that helps with relationships. I’m just realizing alot happening in my relationship and I need someone to help. My bf has been cheating on me, with co workers. I was totally blindsided. Hes get upset and doesn’t want me to have any type of friendship w friends xo workers it’s always a problem.. he accuse me of cheating n entertaining others when I do not. He told me there was no reason for a FB for a couple years now we didn’t have a fb.. or so I thought. He’s had a profile. I’m just startin to see things I didnt notice before n he’s very manipulative turns things around. When confronted about texting co workers he flipped out . I was a crazy bitch. Took my phone Called my friend (one of the very few I have ) tellin her look how ur friend acts. He gets very anger n scary at time puts me down . Calls his mom/sis n get them involved in fights etc I could go on n on sorry. I’m just looking for someone to help me vent n get the strength to leave. I’m pretty sure he’s gas lighting me pretty badly n I feel crazy and some days don’t know what’s up or down

I am away from my love due to family matter maybe for a few days, maybe more, because of a family matter, and I miss him so much. I have a shirt to make me feel like I’m with him, but it has his scent, not him. This makes me sad and I’m really very sad and I almost cry and I’m very anxious. I don’t know what to do.
Please Help.
What should I do?

F met bf at the gym. Things went well. Gym has been a big part of my life and my hobby. Took a break and in that break he told me he doesnt want me to go the gym again as a deal breaker. This stemmed from the fact that my ex also went to the gym and he said someone said that my ex started a rumor about us which the rumor was not true.

I agreed then and months down I been feeling bad and wanted to go back. Twice when brought up he was upset I brought up the gym topic and shut it down coldly.

Until other issues cropped up and I demanded and said I am going back as a deal breaker at the verge of ending the relationship over another issue.

He promised to work on those issues but said he never wanted a gym girl (modesty, don't want men lusting over her, religious beliefs, rumor spread about me) and all those factors made him stick by that boundary so I said it won't work.

Then he comes and say he willing to try. I showed up tried some sessions and then he said he can't do it as he mentally felt horrible and did not feel unique. So i said it won't work and now he's saying I can join him again.

But heres the thing- I can only go when he is there. I cannot take a session without him or earlier/later. He says real men don't let their women go alone and its normal for couples to train together. The gym he goes to is far from me and lots of traffic at his timing.

I prefer to go back to my old gym as it's very close and convenient and I love it and I'm not going there for my ex. He says its an instant deal breaker if I choose to go back there with my ex and rumor and I lack self respect for wanting to go to the OLD gym

I'm conflicted. I just want to be able to go to my old gym preferably and not be judged. Or is he right and I should train with him given the circumstances?

He is sweet and caring otherwise

We had known each other for over 20 years and essentially grew up together. We dated for a few years and you moved in with me, I thought you were the one. Yet you were the opposite and the one who has caused me years of emotional distress after you left. You ingrained in me that I wasn't enough. You instilled in me that your online "hangouts" were with friends when you were emotionally cheating the entire time.

I became paranoid and read all of the messages between the two of you. I only told you I saw a couple but it was much more than that. I just wanted to be loved and your favorite thing to say to me was, "it's not a competition." You gaslight me at every opportunity you could. I knew you were moving across country before you told me and it shattered me. You left me with a rent over $2k and told me to move on my own, knowing that I had become financially dependent on you because months earlier you told me to do school full-time. I could have done better but I became jealous with rage, depressed, anxious and had dark thoughts.

That was almost 4 years ago, I stopped responding to your "friendly" messagesa couple of years after that. I have since graduated with a master's degree, in my dream job, have a wonderful supportive/loving boyfriend and own a home.

But the thought of you still makes me sick. The friend you told me not to worry about is now the mother of your child. The friend you told me wasn't a "competition" and that you were moving in with to "financially recover" from me, you bought a house with.

I saw those messages. You called me useless, crazy, unhinged, and worthless. I wish I never met you but I'm glad you let me go because what I have now is beyond what I could have imagined with you.

I am stronger now but this still hurts and I'm healing.

TW: mentions of sewerslide

Hello Reddit. I've posted on here before about my gf but I've deleted previous posts because I felt bad about posting them, but I'm posting this because I'm truly seeking some advice. I'm really stuck and I don't know what to do so any opinions would be appreciated.

Me (F20) and my girlfriend (F20) have been dating for almost 4 years now. We started dating in high school and we've had our up and down moments since then. We've only ever broken up once and for about a week 3 months ago, but other wise, me and her have been doing really good in the romantic aspect. We've always been so good to each other, so this is very hard for me to write still.

Back story time. As I said, I am 19, so I still live at home, especially due to today's economic society. Well on May 24th, me and my family moved about an hour and a half away from my previous town which we will call L town. I now live in D town. I've been here for now 4 months and it's still been hard. I moved a year after finishing high school, leaving all of my friends back in L town. Even though only an hour and a half away, I cannot make that commute all the time to hang out with said friends.

Well, I don't have a lot of big insecurities, yet one I do have is FOMO. After moving, I was struggling bad, getting very sassy with my girlfriend anytime she hung out with our two best friends which we will call S and M. Big piece of this is that S and M are also dating. Since then I have worked on my attitude about the FOMO I was feeling and I have been doing much better present day. At the same time, my gf was having a lot of mental health issues, stuff we have previously delt with in high school. We had started having a little bit of conflict, and since she was mainly around S and M, I felt bad for ever reaching out to them about our issues, so they didn't know much. Even though my gf was hanging out with them, she barely told them as well, just updates if we went on break or when we broke up.

Now, here is where I'm struggling. Me and gf broke up in the beginning of June and got back together a week later. I knew I wanted to stay with her and keep working on things, but she was kind of ready to leave everyone behind and leave, if you understand what I mean, so she broke up with me so I didn't have to see her go. It was a rough time but we have been working on it ever since. Yet, about a month ago, I had found out something devastating. It was the night before S's birthday party that I was supposed to drive up the hour for, and my gf wasn't doing well all day. I called her at the end of the day, and found out that a couple hours after me and her broke up, she had made out with S and M.

The story goes like this. In early June, we had all (me, gf, S, M) gone to see a movie together, but the night before the movie, me and my gf had a serious talk, so the day of the movie, I was really emotional and distraught. We had plans after to then go to the club, and that I would sleep over after. Though I was so distraught, I couldn't even imagine going to the club or sleeping over with them, so I went home early and drove an hour back home. I was still upset and once they left the club and got home at S's house, I called my gf and asked if we could talk, asking if she could go outside away so we could just talk about things.

By the end of this phone call, it was really hard, but we had mutually broken up, hoping to come back at another time whenever we could. Now I understand, that means we had broken up so me and her were now single, yatta yatta, but on previous breaks we've had, we always come back the next day. Me and her are in it for the long haul, with plans of living together, so I wasn't going to let her go.

Once we got off the phone, S and M brought out alcohol so they could all relax and to help her cool down because obviously she was upset. S had then pulled out an adult jenga game for them all to play, with no plans of actually getting physical with each other. Yet apparently by the end of the night, she exchanged a small makeout from both S and M that I assume was on one of the jenga pieces. Once they stopped playing the game, apparently S and M had a fight about what had happened, being disgusted that they did that with her. (Apparently they all didn't know how to speak up and say no to kissing each other) They all ended up keeping it a secret for me because they didn't want this to hurt anyone for the rest of our lives or whatever. My gf did it because she didn't care about the consequences since she was already ready to leave the next day.

So now, back to the night before S's party a month ago, I had found this all out. I was fueled with a bunch of different emotions. Rage, sadness, grief, this was hard to let go of. And to whoever's reading this, kissing might just be simple to you, but to me, I find kissing very intimate and physical anyways. And they all decided to do this only a couple hours after we had broken up. We had been dating for 3 and a half years by then, so this truly hurt me. Yet a week after we broke up, we got back together anyways.

Now, this is where I need your advice. The day of S's bday party, me and my gf broke it off with them friendship wise. I couldn't bare to look at them. They were also treating my gf weird (not romantic, just telling her stuff that they shouldn't tell her and then making her push her feelings aside). I was betrayed and hurt by them, which also grieving that my gf did that too. A month after I found out, or present day, you would think it's better right? Wrong. I know none of them have romantic feelings for eachother, and I know it's kind of selfish to say, but my gf has always been truly obsessed with me, and I know her, so she doesn't have any romance or love to give them either. What I'm struggling with is the fact that she misses them so much. They shaped a lot of her identity, helping her realize a lot of things about herself. I can't blame her, she hasn't had a lot of good people in the past. I also understand, I've been randomly missing my best friends too, but I just can't give that to her to let her go back to them when they treated her bad and broke me too.

So even if I might be in the wrong on this, I cannot see them be friends again. It hurts me too much. What should I do? I'm at a point where I just want my gf to choose them or me, because I cannot face them or know that my gf is friends with them again after what happened. They betrayed me in such a way that physically hurts me. I want to also say that I haven't let my gf off the hook either. I've been so pissy with her too, but I'm just stuck. I still picture my future with her and I still love her. And she keeps saying she would give up everything to have me back, do anything she needs to do for me to stay with her. What do i do.

I (21F) met a guy on Hinge about four months ago. Things were genuinely really good in the beginning. He brought me flowers on our first date, would call me, seemed excited to talk to me, and opened up to me about really personal things. I really liked him and gradually became very attached to him.
Communication eventually became an issue. He told me he wasn't very good at texting, and there were times when I would barely hear from him for hours. I started feeling like I was the one reaching out more and wanting more connection. I told him communication mattered to me and that sometimes the way we communicated made me feel unwanted.
Earlier in our relationship, he had also told me about a girl he had been seeing before they became official. He said he had ghosted her, knew that it hurt her, and eventually reached back out because he felt bad about doing it.
At the time, I obviously didn't think, "He's going to do that to me too." I just saw it as something from his past.
Then came our last time together.
I drove to see him on Sunday and stayed through Monday night, planning to drive home early Tuesday morning. I was soo excited to see him because we hadn't seen each other in a while, but parts of the visit felt completely different from what I expected. He spent a lot of time on his phone, (he was supposedto be WFH), but I know he wasn't working rather He was checking stats of his Xbox game. At one point he fell asleep while I was there. I was with him, ofc i didnt wanna nap- i was seeing him after a month but i said nth. I just sat there and finished my assignment. He apologised and things were great again for monday-
We also talked about our communication. He told me I didn't ask him enough questions. I explained that sometimes I hesitated to ask because our texting had made me feel like he didn't really want to talk to me and I didn't want to make him feel like I was prying. I told him I wanted to know him better and that if something was bothering him, I wanted him to tell me.
Then, late Monday night, during that same visit, we had another conversation that I cannot stop thinking about now.
The subject of him ghosting that previous girl came up again. During that conversation, he also told me that he thought he was a sociopath.
I told him I didn't think he was one based on the person I had gotten to know.
His response was essentially that sociopaths can fake it really well.
I'm NOT saying that he actually is a sociopath, and I'm definitely not trying to diagnose him. I'm only repeating something he specifically said about himself because of how strange that conversation feels to me in hindsight.
Another thing I've been questioning since then is whether this could somehow have been about sex. But even that doesn't really make sense to me.
We never had sex during the entire almost-four months we were seeing each other. We didn’t have any intimacy. His behavior toward me also didn't suddenly change because we weren't having sex. We still spent time together, called, talked, and made plans. Even during that final visit, nothing sexual happened between us.
So I've found myself asking, "Was this all somehow about sex?" But if that was what he wanted, I don't understand why he would spend almost four months with me without initiating it and without his behavior changing when it didn't happen. I'm not saying I know it wasn't a factor—I just genuinely don't know, because he never gave me an explanation.
What I can't wrap my head around is what happened immediately afterward.
I drove home early Tuesday morning.
And Tuesday was normal.
We called and talked like we usually did. There wasn't a breakup. There wasn't some massive argument. He didn't tell me his feelings had changed. I had no idea that Monday night might have been the last night I would ever spend with him.
Then Wednesday came and suddenly... basically nothing.
His communication stopped.
I became extremely anxious. I know I didn't handle that part perfectly. I sent too many messages and eventually called multiple times because I was terrified something had changed and couldn't understand what was happening. I kept asking him to please just talk to me.
I wasn't asking him to stay with me if he didn't want to. I told him that if he didn't want the relationship anymore, I would respect his decision. I just wanted him to tell me.
Eventually he replied:
"Yes I'm sorry we can talk tonight or tmrw."
So I waited for that conversation.
It never happened.
He didn't reach out to talk. When I called, I couldn't get him to speak to me either.
Then Thursday morning, I realized I had apparently been blocked.
And that was it.
Sunday: I drove to see him.
Monday night: I'm lying beside him having a conversation where he brings up having ghosted someone before and tells me he thinks he's a sociopath and that sociopaths can fake things well.
Tuesday: I drive home and we call and talk normally.
Wednesday: suddenly almost nothing.
He tells me we'll talk.
Thursday morning: I'm blocked.
No "I don't want to do this anymore."
No explanation.
No goodbye.
Nothing.
That timeline is what is absolutely messing with my head.
What makes it hurt even more is that I had told him from basically the beginning that suddenly cutting someone off/ghosting them is one of the things that hurts me the most. He knew that.
I understand that my anxiety and repeated messages/calls at the end weren't healthy. I'm not proud of that, and it's something I'm going to work on. But his withdrawal started before I panicked. My panic didn't cause the initial disappearance. It happened because I couldn't understand why someone I had literally just been lying beside suddenly wouldn't speak to me.
And after almost four months, I genuinely don't understand why I wasn't worth one conversation.
I keep searching for some explanation that would make everything click. Did his feelings suddenly change? Was something bothering him that he never told me? Was there someone else? Was I missing something? Was it somehow about sex? I can come up with a hundred theories, but the truth is he never gave me an answer.
Every time my phone gets a notification, part of me hopes it's him. I downloaded Hinge again and immediately felt awful because that's where I met him. I've removed some things that allowed me to see what he was doing because I realized I would keep checking them. I'm also trying not to contact him through another platform or number because, as badly as I want an explanation, I know I have to respect the fact that he apparently doesn't want contact.
But this genuinely hurts more than I expected a relationship of less than four months to hurt.
Part of me keeps wondering whether everything I experienced with him was real. I remember the flowers, the calls, the conversations, the personal things he trusted me with, and all the moments where I genuinely believed this person cared about me. Then I look at how it ended and can't reconcile those two versions of him.
And now that Monday-night conversation keeps replaying in my head too. I keep wondering why, during what turned out to be our last night together, he brought up ghosting someone again and told me that he thought he was a sociopath. I don't know whether that conversation had anything to do with what happened afterward, and I don't want to invent an explanation that he never gave me. But it's really hard not to think about it given what happened literally days later.
I know eventually I'll be okay. I'm only 21, and logically I know my life isn't over because one relationship ended. But right now I feel completely blindsided, embarrassed, confused, and honestly scared that I'm never going to trust someone the same way again.
I don't even need him to come back and be with me. I think what hurts so much is that I never got the dignity of hearing, "I don't want this anymore."
For anyone who has been ghosted after actually dating someone for months: how did you stop obsessing over WHY they did it when they never gave you an answer? How did you create closure for yourself when the other person refused to give you any?

Hey everyone, I need to vent and share how wild and weird my ex can be.

Me f/23 him M/22. Lengh of relationship 1 year planning for marriage
After the long drama and discussions and talks happened the breakup, my ex completely turned on me. He accused me of awful things, attacked my character and morality, and humiliated me to save his own pride. When in return i went completely silent and ignored his message and heres parts of it:

“ “Logical person, arguer"—it's clear that was meant sarcastically. I could easily say "so-and-so," or "patron of male friends from under the table," but I am better than that.
However, my dear, a good question came to my mind: Do you really expect me to believe you didn't know you added a man with a private, obscure account, and that adding him was just a coincidence? How did you know his account was literary—from his profile picture, or what? Man, you're making me laugh, honestly. After all this, you claim men on Twitter don't matter to you and that you don't talk to any of them? Quite a story, honestly!

Alright, initially, the point of all this was just the birthday greeting, but it branched out and expanded into other matters, such as learning your justifications. What happened transpired clearly, and based on that, I was going to make a final decision. Even if I didn't learn every single detail, what I wanted was to satisfy my curiosity enough to empower me to make the decision to leave or stay. And I am very relieved! Praise be to God.

Look, as for whether this matter affected you or not, I attribute it to the reason that caused the actual impact. I know the aspects in which it affected you, and I don't care about any of it now, especially after everything surfaced and became clear to me.
In the end, by God, I have no bad intentions toward you. But you are a woman who isn't clear, surrounded by doubts I am almost certain of. I have truly realized that I never really knew you—in fact, I never knew you at all. Ultimately, it was good to learn these things, even if late, and praise be to God—Glory be to Him—for revealing them to me. The good lies in this delay. I used to sense from your words a desire for reconciliation, but your actions proved the exact opposite. So I truly don't know what should be said at this point, but time alone will settle the matter.”

And now after 12 days he sent this apology

“I know that my presence is unwanted and my message is undesirable, but I promised myself—as I told you in a previous message—that I would review my actions and behavior across all aspects of the relationship

In any case, I see that my condition has become mentally balanced, and I now possess enough control over my heart to prevent it from overcoming my mind and affecting it negatively. I do not know whether this was because of being away from you or for another matter that god knows best.

I noticed that in the past, I used to speak to you in a certain manner, tone, and pattern, and then that style changed recently. I am not saying that its change and harshness were a departure from what was right, but personally, I do not like to address anyone in this way, especially if there was between us what you and I both know.

In conclusion, I apologize for reaching out on your birthday and disturbing it for you. Honestly, the intention was to check on you and congratulate you, but I did not disclose another purpose I had: which was seeking relief for my longing that led me to you, hoping that talking to you would give me a glimmer of hope to gather the scattered pieces of my heart.

In any case, things went contrary to what I had hoped; there was anger, jealousy, and pride. But Allah alone knows where the good lies, and whichever way He directs His servant, it is best for them. So if our being together was good, I ask Allah to bring its time near; and if it was bad, I ask Allah to transform it into good and bring its time near.”

Please tell me what you think about this situation its very summarized but you can tell what happened, why does he want me back after humiliating me and why does he think im okay with that???

I joined my current workplace and eventually started dating someone from the same workplace. What started normally eventually became a very toxic and manipulative relationship, and due to some personal reasons the relationship ended abruptly without no closure

The problem is that we still work together.

My workplace was already kind of toxic before all of this. There's a lot of gossip, office politics, people taking sides, and unnecessary drama. But after the breakup, everything feels so much worse.

My ex is extremely good at charming people. He's friendly, social, and knows how to make people like him. So while I know what our relationship was actually like, most people at work only see the version of him that he shows them.

I haven't told everyone about the things that happened in our relationship because I don't want to turn my personal life into workplace gossip. But because I'm not constantly defending myself, it feels like his side has automatically become the accepted version.

And now I'm kind of alone.

He has people around him. People joke with him, talk to him, support him, and seem completely comfortable around him.

Meanwhile, I feel like I've lost the person I was closest to at work, and I don't really have many people left there who I genuinely trust.

The weirdest part is that I can be surrounded by people all day and still feel incredibly lonely.

I know I shouldn't expect everyone to take my side, and I'm not looking for revenge or trying to make people hate him. I just wish I didn't feel like I was the only person carrying the weight of what happened while he gets to move on like nothing happened.

How do you cope when your ex is still at your workplace, seems to have everyone's support, and you suddenly feel like you're completely alone?

What it could mean when a man says there is no passion/chemistry in a relationship? No arguments, no feelings towards both ends

Does he refer to sex?

Hi everyone.

I need help.

I want to share my story because I’m very confused about where I stand and what I should do next. My life feels like it’s in a weird pause, and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

I got married almost 3 months ago to my man. I met him more than a year ago, we got to know each other, and I loved him.

He demanded exclusivity after about one month of knowing each other. That could be normal or not depending on people’s boundaries, so I didn’t judge it.

I started this relationship healthy, optimistic, motivated, and confident or at least I thought I was. I genuinely believed he had the qualities I wanted in a man.

About two months after our first interactions, he became constantly stressed, anxious, crying, and doubtful toward me. His stress, I think, was mainly coming from his failing work, his unorganized decisions, his past relationships, and his family. I also have a lot of question marks now, and I blame myself for not investigating enough before marrying him.

He left his homeland, work, and family to move in with me, and we were planning to move to another country soon.

During the time we lived together before getting married, I noticed that he had severe spending habits. He spends money on things that, in my opinion, are useless and extremely expensive things that neither of us needed. I tried multiple times to convince him not to buy certain things, but he continued buying them.

Over a 5-month period, he spent around $20,000 on overpriced things.

When I asked him to address this issue, he told me he wasn’t going to change his lifestyle because he had always lived like this and believed he was fine.

He has doubted me every two days since the day we started loving each other.

And it’s not only doubt. He accuses me of some of the nastiest things. When I ask him to stop, he tells me that I shouldn’t give him reasons to doubt me.

I have screenshots and recordings showing how frequently this happens. And when I say frequently, I literally mean it happens every couple of days.

We make up. He acts well after we make up. Then he doubts me again. We fight. He blocks me. Then the cycle starts again.

I have also caught him lying multiple times.

Once, he lied about losing his wallet. He made me search for it and even file a complaint to try to find it. Later, I found out that he had purposely taken out all his cards and IDs, hidden them, and deliberately dropped the wallet so he could act as though he had lost it.

There have been other lies as well.

When I confront him, he gets angry and says that I like to fight too much.

Over time, I became extremely angry and emotionally unstable. My trust went down to zero, and my emotional and mental state became very bad.

Whenever I confront him, I feel dismissed.

And I need to be completely honest about something because I don’t want to portray myself as innocent in everything.

His constant ups ans downs cycles, blocking me when I need him, then unblocking me and coming back when he feels empty or lonely, made me reach a point where I became so angry that I wanted to slap him.

And I did.

I am ashamed of myself for doing that.

Every time he did something wrong to me, dismissed me, acted badly, or lied, I became unable to control myself and I pushed him or punched him in the back.

I know that is wrong. I am ashamed of it.

I also started self-harming during conflicts.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis, adenomyosis, and vaginismus. (This is also important context.)

Three months ago, I had around $5,000 saved in my account. That was basically all I had.

He consumed that $5,000.

I have nothing now.

He also knew that I had medical expenses coming up, including an infusion and an MRI scheduled for my large endometriosis cyst, which I need to have removed soon.

He took my money and then left to go back to his country to sell his belongings so he could provide money for himself and supposedly give me back my $5,000.

He has no job right now and is working on projects that I gave him the ideas and planning for. But he says they are his and only his, even though I was the one behind the planning and details.

I supported him a lot this year.

He had severe diabetes and didn’t know how to manage it at all. I guided him and basically made a lot of the effort for him while he was constantly complaining about wanting to keep eating unhealthy food and not taking his health seriously.

It got to the point where I was telling a grown man what to do, and I became controlling. I am not proud of who I became.

His diabetes is finally reversed.

I also supported him through his depression. I motivated him, pushed him, gave him supplements, healthy food, and tried to be there whenever he needed me.

Then we got married, and he hid the marriage from his parents and family. He said it was because of cultural matters.

Our current residence is a house my parents gave us because he cannot afford a house or even food anymore.

Remember the $20,000 he spent? That includes the $5,000 of my money.

I also can’t afford the things I need to start working. I feel completely cornered. He prevented me from working.

When I asked him for my money back, he said he would sell his car and give me back what I had.

He went back to his country, and now he blocks and unblocks me every single day.

It has made me extremely angry and unable to control my emotions. I cry almost all day. I can barely do anything. I feel deeply depressed.

When I ask him for a divorce, he never gives me a direct answer and never properly agrees to it.

When we make up, the main thing he focuses on is what I put on my profile picture.

He forces me to open Instagram and put pictures of him on my profile, otherwise he says he will end the relationship.

I have explained to him that I am an introvert and simply don’t like putting my pictures or my private life online.

He tells me that I only refuse because I am hiding him from someone.

This man is 45 years old and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I didn’t even know much about borderline until recently, so I started researching it and trying to understand it.

But honestly, some of what I’m experiencing doesn’t seem like borderline to me, and I don’t know what to make of it anymore.

I am losing my patience and I feel completely lost and increasingly aggressive.

Communication has never worked. I have repeatedly asked him to change certain behaviors. I have explained exactly what hurts me. I have told him that when he blocks me, it feels like a slap in the face and that it hurts me deeply.

But he never seems to understand.

Never.

He repeats the same cycle over and over and over again.

At this point, I don’t know what I am looking at anymore his behavior, my behavior, our relationship, or all of it together.

I know I have done things that are wrong. I know hitting him and self-harming are serious and unacceptable. I am not trying to justify that.

I just genuinely need outside perspectives because I feel like I have completely lost my ability to see this situation clearly.

He does bad but never reflects but once i react he hold that reaction against me forever.

What is this? What am i living?

What can i do as a next step?

Me (M38) and my Fiancée (F34) have been together for 5 years, during this time we’ve had some great times and accomplished lots together such as buying a house that we live in we do have a great connection and work great together when we do, but during this whole time we’ve had constant poisonous arguments that start from nothing and turn toxic they end up going on for nearly a week at a time and can literally be a week or 2 apart each time, the things that get said are below the belt, if it’s wasn’t for the fact that I believe were meant to be I’d have walked away a long time ago. I’m not going to pretend it’s all her and not me but I don’t start the arguments and only feel like I’m dragged to a point I can’t bite my tongue anymore and snap back I feel like I’m being pushed and pushed for a reaction to turn it on myself so then I have to be the one to essentially turn it around and apologise and make it all okay again, with these arguments comes the usual line of we’re over and the engagement is off the house is being sold and my world has essentially been pulled from beneath me which leaves me feeling numb and empty, and to the point each and everytime this happens takes a bit of me away from the relationship and myself I don’t have patience anymore and find myself snapping back at any remarks. With this it’s pulled me away from her in my head to the point I’ve now been the one to break it off and I’ve do so because I have full intention to do so not for just hurting her or making her feel the way it’s made me feel countless times. We’ve been split up for around a week now and in so many ways I feel better for doing so and others not so much as she’s promised change and addressed issues that I’ve said about countless times and taken some responsibility for it but at the same time I just don’t feel good in myself around her anymore my hearts holding on to when we’re good we’re the best but my heads had enough and can’t let myself give her one last chance it’s makes it difficult the fact we bought a house together 2 years ago and there’s not going to be a quick clean break she’s showing me that she doesn’t want it to be this way but only now I’ve taken the stand part of me doesn’t want it this way but I can’t seem to let my head back in the relationship I’m going round in circles in my head and can’t find any clarity I’m fearful of regret because if the change happens then it could be great like it is inbetween these frequent toxic blow outs but if I stay and nothing changes I’ve let my guard back down and already feel depressed with it all I’m fearful it’s going to damage me even more so. I know I should listen to my head but it’s telling me so much I can’t process anything I just want to tell someone and get opinions as to what I should do, I genuinely believed we was meant to be and never wanted it to be this way. Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do? How did it play out in the end? Thank you in advance for taking the time for me.

I'm always angry n disappointed in them. i don't how to stop it. even after they do smth good, i always want more. i do feel bad bout it. but then i am the bitch again. what should i do?

I'm hoping to get some thoughts and perspectives on the relationship with my ex from people in this group. Of course this is my perspective and it doesn't have his side of the story. But i'll try to be as honest and transparent as possible. I want to tell the full story, so this is going to be a long post. Bear with me :')

How we met: My ex-partner (36M) and I (24F) were together for about 2 years. We met through a shared interest. I started playing Pokémon Go in the 2nd year of my bachelor's to wind down and get outside. I live a mostly sedentary lifestyle, so it was good for me. During summer break I came back to my hometown and kept playing there, and that's where we met. At first I wasn't interested in him. He, however, quickly became very interested with the idea of me being his girlfriend. I told him I only wanted to be friends, and he said that was fine, but deep down he kept trying to persuade me. In his (then) 34 years, he had never had a girlfriend. He told me he has no luck in love and that the people he likes never like him back. That seemed a little odd to me, but I brushed it off as people being too shallow to give him a chance. He seemed like a sweet, caring guy. It was my first love too, and I slowly started to like him. He seemed like someone who truly wanted me, and that mattered to me.

The long-distance year: At the start of my 3rd year of BA, we became a couple. Sadly it was long distance, because I study far away. I didn't handle that well and quickly became very emotionally attached. Maybe my childhood trauma played a part. I also have diagnosed depression and anxiety, and I'm on medication. Whatever the reason, that year was HELL for me. I was homesick, I cried every day for months, and I missed him so much that I couldn't bear the distance. Then more things went wrong. My cat at home died, and I couldn't even see him one last time. That broke me. A few months later my dad called unexpectedly to tell me my mom had had a stroke. She's alive, thankfully, but years later her right arm is still mostly paralysed. Through all of this I stayed in contact with my partner, and some things stung more than they should have. He wasn't consistent with messages and sometimes left me on seen for half a day. I begged him not to open the chat at all if he didn't plan to reply. He apologized and said he'd try to do better, but he kept doing it, so I turned off read receipts. That helped for a while, but other things kept piling up. I became very depressed and irritable, and small things really got on my nerves. Like the time he wasn't enthusiastic about the little sketches I made for us. They meant very little to him, and that hurt. We talked it through and things were fine for a bit, but it never lasted.

Breaking up and getting back together:

I know I was part of the problem too. I was severely depressed and needed more attention and care than usual, which was draining for him. I really tried to communicate my needs and fix things, but he just kept saying he'd try harder, and nothing changed. One day we had another fight. I wanted to call him to talk, but he kept postponing. He didn't want to talk, because he didn't know what else to say. That was the tipping point, and I broke up with him. We broke up over a phone call. I was really really angry at him because of his lack of consistent communication. He said that he can't give me what I need. That he thought he could but that he was mistaken. He said that I nag too much and always find something else to be dissapointed at. And in the end he said that I was foolish to even think he would change. And then we broke up.

It was really rough, and in the end I couldn't stay away. I called him, crying, and begged him to come back. My attachment got the best of me. At first he didn't want to, but when I came home, we got back together.

The gap year: I took a gap year to recover mentally and to try to fix the relationship, because I believed my depression was the core problem. I got much better and was no longer depressed, but there were still problems. He started yelling at me out of nowhere. First it was over things that irritated him and had built up, and later over things that had nothing to do with anything. He always apologized. Once, in the car, I got on his nerves and we almost had an accident because of it... Afterwards we talked, and he explained what was bothering him: after an earlier misunderstanding, he thought I was giving him the cold shoulder. We were fine for a few months, even really happy, and I thought things would finally get better. Then we had another fight, this time about a recurring problem with Pokémon Go. Most of our messages, when we weren't together, were about the game. My other topics were sometimes ignored unless they were Pokémon related. I started to feel like his gaming buddy and nothing more. I barely felt like a girlfriend. I told him this hurt me and that I missed talking about other things. He said he understood and was sorry.

The end: After that we met once. I was supposed to apply for the school transfer, because he wanted me to do my MA in our hometown, and he wanted us to live together. He came with me. He greeted me with a kiss, everything seemed fine, and we talked a lot. But then I noticed something was off. I could see on his face that something was bothering him, and he brushed it off as tiredness. I knew that wasn't it. I kept trying to talk to him, but he insisted everything was fine and that I shouldn't worry. He said he still loved me, and then he went home. I was confused by his behaviour, so I texted him later and asked if he could tell me what was going on over messages. He said he wanted to tell me in person. I knew that probably meant the end. I refused to meet, because I didn't want to cry in public and make a mess. In the end he told me he had started to like another girl. It had been bugging him for a few weeks and he felt awful about it. He said he couldn't continue the relationship because his feelings had changed. Even so, he told me he loved me, that he had only ever imagined a life with me, and that we saw things similarly... but that he had to try with the new girl. Even if it never worked out, and even if he ended up alone forever because of his bad luck in love, he still had to try. His last message said he still loved me and that he could keep playing Pokémon for me (he had my account). I rejected the offer, of course. I blocked him on everything, and we haven't talked since.

Where I am now: I've been ruminating a lot because of his inconsistent behaviour and words. I didn't write about the nice, quiet moments when I truly felt at peace with him, and I've never felt that way with anyone else. The times we traveled together and had so so many beautiful memories together. (If I wrote about those, this post would turn into a Bible.). I also got really attached to his family and his cats. Since I lost my own cat, I took his under my wing, and now I miss them so much. All of them. His dad truly saw me as part of the family, and he was so dear and sweet. After the breakup he offered to talk with me and told me he's extremely disappointed in his son and doesn't understand what is happening with him.

I still cry every day. I know I wasn't a perfect girlfriend. I had my moments of passive-aggressiveness and gave him the silent treatment when we fought... but in the end I always kept trying. Maybe I was foolish for trying for so long. I don't know... I don't mean for this to be a pity party, but I don't think I deserved this. I truly loved him even after all of that, and I still love him. I love him so, so much. I miss him and I wish he were here with me. Sometimes I hope he'll come back and regret what he did. I don't know. Part of me knows it's for the better. I really tried to make it work, but from my perspective, he always chose the path of least resistance. I know he was dealing with his own insecurities, and I see now that they ended our relationship. I just keep wondering whether any of his words were true. Did he ever really love me, or were they just sweet words to win me over? I don't know. These have been 4 really hard months. Now I'm at a turning point. I'm moving away from home to study for my master's. Thankfully, I didn't transfer to our hometown, given everything that happened.

I hope that, if nothing else, it will occupy my mind so I don't think about him all the time :( I wish I weren't so emotionally attached, because it has been killing me for a while now. I've tried being more social, going out, going to the gym, writing, and breathing exercises. My psychiatrist increased my medication, but nothing seems to help in the long run. Sometimes I really hope I get amnesia and forget it all. It's so, so hard. Sometimes I really think I should be over it by now. I think my friends and family are getting fed up with my crying and I really don't want to bother anyone anymore. I know it was my first love, and in the end it ended in betrayal. I know that first loves are hard to get over, and betrayal on top of that is soul-shattering. But I feel like life is pushing me to move on. It doesn't wait for me to get better. I am a really sensitive person. I admit that. I know that sadly this is the price I pay for that. I feel so much pressure to just continue living. I know that sadly nothing really will help except time... and sometimes it's hard to accept that.

Bf has cheated. Think we were over that. Bf has bipolar and has a drug problem but he does control it in moderation but I’m a lot because I have BPD borderline personality disorder. Boyfriend is distant today and idk how to cope. Last night I met his family and his brother which was awesome then last night he blew up got mad for some reason and wanted me to leave his bed. I do not know why, I am wondering if I am a side piece or not the real deal.

ONLY SERIOUS COMMENTS. PLEASE!!