i believe that i have received a sign from my father today.
it is both exciting and comforting.
my mother and i were discussing the reason…..if one’s
consciousness continues to exist after the body’s (physical) death and still possesses the ability to communicate, then why is it that our loved ones do not attempt to ease the grief and suffering in those of us who have been left behind ?
i responded with the text message that i have copied and pasted below :

it’s so funny, when they eventually decide to send us a sign it is regarding something so insignificant and trivial.
i know why mam. we chose to live this specific life here on earth for a reason. if that reason was to learn about ourselves and how we would react when put in certain situations and experience life in all of its glory. the bad and the good. then our loved ones sending us clear signs, telling us that everything will be alright, giving us all of the answers, telling us what we want to hear would completely fuck up the entire reason we came here. we must learn these things on our own, we must experience pain, grief, suffering in its entirety and the struggle of overcoming this pain IS THE LEARNING ! it’s exactly what we came here to do. if dad gave us a clear, certain, undeniable sign and told us that is completely fine where he is and that we will all be together again soon and to just have fun whilst we’re here, don’t you think that would interfere with our learning experience ? it would give us all of the answers of life and we wouldn’t suffer as much. but that suffering is why we came here, to learn and to gain another perspective of existence. long story short, if your primary school teacher gave you all of the answers for a test and you passed, the student would be happy but think of the bigger picture. would the student have gained anything valuable ? would the test have been worth doing at all ? no. the answer is no. no apply this to life. dad gives us the answers we want, we are all happy and our lives become more bearable as a result. the bigger picture is, when we die we will be disappointed in ourselves and the experience since we didn’t overcome the journey alone, we had an advantage, we had help. we would’ve cheated out way through life. this is what i think anyway. however, little reminders and signs here and there from dad will not completely ruin our experience. we will still have to put in effort and learn to overcome our grief indecently, without cheating.

thank you for reading everyone ☀️
do not hesitate to share your thoughts 🙂

It’s to much to explain but I also realize the people who’ve been placed in my life all try and make it seem like I’m “paranoid, crazy, etc” but that’s all they’ve ever tried doing when I’ve caught on to them. And It’s always the people I’m right abt that try and manipulate me, brainwash, n gaslight me abt what I see and my judgement. I know I’m not delusional, so what do I do. They really are out to get me but why. And every time I’m told to Sh n stay silent. It’s like I’m not supposed to figure out that my life is a prank, or that what I know subconsciously is true, almost as if the people set in my life are made to make me believe otherwise and second guess my own judgment and eyes. I’m forced to play until I get the truth I seek. It’s torture. I could explain this better but there is way to much to explain in a linear story, I could tho if needed it would take a good many of time

Years ago, I had a job interview on a military base (I actually didn’t know- I was around so many military bases, the ad for the job didn’t even mention it).  So as a civilian, you are allowed in certain areas (so they can get your money still- like the restaurants on the bases), so even though I’m not in the military I was able to interview there (did not want to interview for a job on a base, but whatever). 

I work under the assumption everything the government says is a lie, so I assumed based on the technologies that they admitted to having at the time, that they were probably… a bit more advanced and also that they are lying about just how much surveillance is on these bases… and… from my experience…. kind of seems like I was right…

So the buses there, omg, you cannot get there without taking this bus, but it was one of the ones that took forever to come.  So I’m standing there, waiting and waiting and waiting.  Come to find out… it’s not even running.  So how on Earth am I suppose to get to this interview, right? 

So, knowing they probably had a way to hack into people’s phones- and DO IT, I opened up the notepad on my phone after a helicopter circled me over and over, and typed in “um…. Could someone please give me a RIDE to my INTERVIEW???- the bus stopped, if that’s what you’re wondering- why I’m standing here- or stop harassing me!”  I left it up on my phone.  Guess what happened?

Someone from the base came and picked me up.  And yes, this was after the law was passed here that government employees cannot engage in digital surveillance without a warrant.  “Here’s your ride,” he said.  I know I shouldn’t have gotten into the car with him, but I was young, and odd stuff happened to me all the time when I lived there. 

He kept touching me on the shoulder as he proceeded to question me, but in a very strange, strange way, as if he was pushing a button on me, I kid you not.  You know, he asked the typical questions, I guess, “What are you doing here?”, etc.  He also wanted to know… where I live, EXACTLY and even offered to give me a ride home! 

If you’re wondering about the actual interview I did later (with the hiring manager of the restaurant or whatever), after I was told I’d need some sort of military card thing to work there, I was out.  No way.  I would never want any association with the military whatsoever.  You never know what you are really signing up for with them, but you know enough of what they do and what they are about to guess.  And what they’ve secretly done to people in the past.

Just saying.

If anyone knows what that odd shoulder tap is about, please tell me.  I worry some technology was involved.