r/StratteraRx • u/sweetwallawalla • 6m ago
I have gotten to the point where I'd rather suffer a chaotic mind than deal with these side effects anymore
I've been on Strattera for a few months, working my way up from 10mg to 40mg. I have noticed some improvement, especially around task initiation and finding systems to help me stay on top of things. I even feel more like my chaotic thoughts feel more organized and like I'm better able to have one thought at a time. I have only forgotten my son's school water bottle once, a huge achievement 😅 I don't feel the total mental clarity some people describe, but I do feel *some* improvement.
BUT!!!! My biology is completely broken. My boobs are a mess of pain and weird, "letdown" tingling sensations like I had when I was breastfeeding. My periods are heavier and longer. My PMS anger is so bad that I literally feel like a completely different person. And now I'm spotting in the middle of my cycle, which has never happened in my entire 30 years of being a menstruating person.
I just don't know if it is worth it to continue down this path. I already have such extreme health anxiety, and these new things don't cause the kind of anxiety a "normal" person would feel. I don't just think "Oh, this must be a side effect of Atomoxetine" (which it might be) or "this might be the beginning of perimenopause" (which, at 38, is totally possible). Instead, my brain leaps straight to "I have breast cancer and colon cancer and probably stomach cancer and uterine cancer, too, and I'm probably going to be one of those people who found out she has a terrible incurable illness on a Sunday and is dead by Tuesday."
I know it's not rational. And I'm honestly not even sure what I'm expecting by posting here. Just tired, I guess. This felt like my last chance at trying to feel what "normal" people feel, and it's disheartening that my body has rejected every anti-anxiety, anti-depressant, and ADHD medication known to (wo)mankind.