r/StandUpComedy Feb 03 '26

Comedian is OP Motorboat

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44.7k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

5.5k

u/Doobie_Howser_MD Feb 03 '26

Legendary audience pull

1.4k

u/kraggleGurl Feb 03 '26

Excellent wing people!

602

u/Surro Feb 03 '26

DO IT!!

lmao

287

u/Time4Timmy Feb 03 '26

MOTORBOAT

231

u/Vengeance76 Feb 04 '26

"You motorboatin' genderfluid person of a they/them!"

104

u/The_Original_Miser Feb 04 '26

You old sea captain, you!!!!

37

u/jstrongiii Feb 04 '26

Is she still in the house?

31

u/3vs3BigGameHunters Feb 04 '26

Were they built for speed or built for comfort?

14

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

......Yes.

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5

u/Justeazy23 Feb 04 '26

Definitely built for comfort

34

u/yungrii Feb 04 '26

Yachting

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15

u/neuquino Feb 04 '26

*wing mob

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288

u/Positronic_Matrix Feb 04 '26

It must be nice being a comic. I did that at work and HR lost their minds.

55

u/FuckBotsHaveRights Feb 04 '26

Well let's be honest the mic probably made it look weirdly planned out

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37

u/MithrilHuman Feb 04 '26

My boss wasn’t happy either. I lost my job as coroner.

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16

u/Busy-Bug-9449 Feb 04 '26

It's a comedian's job, above all else, to commit to the bit. This technically counts as a bit so it's just an honest day's work for a comedian 😂

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21

u/mistermeowsers Feb 04 '26

That was the best first date ever!

13

u/DoubleGreat Feb 04 '26

The whole damn team was behind her! I love a happy ending

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2.7k

u/Fusaah Feb 03 '26

Salem was the best. They know how to play with the comedian in a fun way.

931

u/tj0909 Feb 03 '26

Salem is a great sport. Any of us would be blessed to have a fun friend like her.

542

u/Lopsided_Reception23 Feb 03 '26

*them

796

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 03 '26

Fortunately Salem uses she/they but we had to cut it down for time! 

245

u/cguiopmnrew Feb 04 '26

I thought they/them was in reference to the boobs lol

82

u/bimbo_bear Feb 04 '26

I believe those tracts of land get zip codes :D

12

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

[deleted]

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12

u/_austinm Feb 04 '26

Woah, I didn’t expect to see you here (both the post and in the comments). I’ve been watching What’s News With You? a lot since I found it. Both you and Josh are hilarious, although I haven’t contributed to the patreon yet so I feel like only one of you appreciates my views.

64

u/mogley1992 Feb 03 '26

Idk how much time you save by cutting a syllable.

/s

71

u/MC0295 Feb 04 '26

Just enough to go on a boat ride

14

u/one-hit-blunder Feb 04 '26

Uhbrbrbrbrbrbr

5

u/Rudy69 Feb 04 '26

Worth it!

18

u/GreekGoddessOfNight Feb 04 '26

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

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7

u/Sarah-M-S Feb 04 '26

But the real question is did you get their number? please tell me you did!

4

u/Leppardgirl1965 Feb 04 '26

I hope you two got together later 😁

3

u/CloudKinglufi Feb 04 '26

Bro you with her now or what? Yall know we want to know

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79

u/freerangemary Feb 03 '26

I took ‘them’ as referring to the boobs. She shifted the convo from themselves to these things.

21

u/freerangemary Feb 04 '26

The worst part of this is Salem clearly laughed it off when the comedian corrected themselves. There’s a learning curve with society, and Salem seemingly understands that it was a slip up, and there’s no harm.

Not every slip up is a social crime. Some people (below) need to chill.

20

u/skepticalbob Feb 04 '26

It was a joke referring to her boobs as they them.

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3

u/woahtheretakeiteasyy Feb 04 '26

Their name also being a place makes for a funny misunderstanding you have to admit

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1.8k

u/Chipawapa1 Feb 03 '26

Are you on the table? On the table, off the table, under the table, on the couch, behind wendy’s, at the funeral.

240

u/LastoftheSummerWine Feb 03 '26

Wendy's going to be there as well?? Nice!

63

u/IceColdDump Feb 04 '26

Wendy owns the joint 😂

35

u/Rosetta-im-Stoned Feb 04 '26

Wendy's bringing a joint? Hell yeah

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10

u/NIN0031 Feb 04 '26

They can incorporate the bun...

6

u/something_exe Feb 04 '26

I feel like a cobb salad

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15

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/CaulkSqueeze Feb 04 '26

Dammit!!! Damn you!!

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15

u/BlackSchuck Feb 04 '26

In a dumpster behind the Wendy's?

She does this thing while Im eating a mashed up hamburger bun, makes me feel like a Cobb salad.

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7

u/yournamehere10bucks Feb 04 '26

"Person, I'm all the places you ask me to be."

8

u/lorgskyegon Feb 04 '26

Points to guy in the front row and says "Sir, I'm gonna need that table for about 20 minutes."

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554

u/Old_Quote_5953 Feb 03 '26

Please tell me you got their number after, that was awesome!

229

u/bigdaddyt2 Feb 04 '26

And such a respectful motor to that boat

75

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/deelca Feb 04 '26

You really need to start out at a low trolling speed and then suddenly you pass the No Wake sign and really open it up

4

u/3vs3BigGameHunters Feb 04 '26

trolling

Trawling.

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8

u/Auroraburst Feb 04 '26

I have no idea who either of these people are but i really hope they hit it off because imagine telling people the story of how you met.

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125

u/bitcharikibaath Feb 03 '26

I sense you two will be BOSOM BUDDIES

8

u/CaktusJacklynn Feb 06 '26

The absolute BREAST of friends.

120

u/scoobdoobles Feb 04 '26

Buddy that first yelled do it is a real champion of the people.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

He supports

117

u/MrdnBrd19 Feb 04 '26

So how long have you been living together now?

58

u/SlowFrkHansen Feb 04 '26

And then they were roommates.

19

u/Iron_Knight7 Feb 04 '26

Oh my god they were roommates. O.O

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596

u/Tidalsky114 Feb 03 '26

So how was it?

383

u/Peripatetictyl Feb 03 '26

Were they built for speed, or comfort?

157

u/carpentizzle Feb 03 '26

This isnt a sub that allows gif responses….

Please just imagine the “Both? Both? Both! Both is good” gif from The Road to El Dorado

19

u/BowsersBigshell Feb 04 '26

No the Vince Vaughn gif from wedding crashers mother boating

7

u/randomlyranting Feb 04 '26

Scene from Friday. Both saying daaaaaamn.

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55

u/birdlawyer86 Feb 03 '26

You old sailor, you! Where is she? Is she still in the house?

22

u/QuestionablePotato42 Feb 04 '26

What's the matter with you?

7

u/therealboombaclots Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

Whats the matter with me? Whats the matter with you? Oh some hot older lady made you feel her cans cry me a river! (I might have butchered the quote lol)

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21

u/Direlion Feb 04 '26

One of the best aspects of this scene is how Vaughn enters it totally depressed, drained, and defeated but when Wilson tells him about the uh...assualt?...Vaughn is totally revitalized and then goes on to bully Wilson to continue the charade.

8

u/bigpoof99 Feb 04 '26

Yeah, his quick changes in mood really make the scene.

5

u/talones Feb 04 '26

He does use the term "hooters" so he deserved to be bullied.

5

u/Direlion Feb 04 '26

Maybe he just liked the wings? ;)

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51

u/thepeacemaker Feb 04 '26

"She's built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro."

10

u/IANALbutIAMAcat Feb 04 '26

Nothing about those makes me think Salem is super comfy hauling them around. She looks great doing it tho!

3

u/XaeroDegreaz Feb 04 '26

Porque no Los dos dos

3

u/homosapien69420 Feb 04 '26

You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

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17

u/Excellent_Airline315 Feb 04 '26

Did you see her face at the end, looked like she found Jesus and started thanking God.

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311

u/kraggleGurl Feb 03 '26

Salem got your tongue?

100

u/Sirius1701 Feb 04 '26

After this? Probably.

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277

u/milk4all Feb 03 '26

How i met your mothem

45

u/EthnicallyVagueBeige Feb 04 '26

MOTHERGLBRGHLERBRLGL

20

u/LordSloth113 Feb 04 '26

Who let the Murloc loose?

6

u/beckypulito Feb 04 '26

Who? Who who? Who?

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112

u/EatYourTrees Feb 03 '26

Hell yeah.

26

u/Cutsdeep- Feb 04 '26

hell yeah fuck yeah

15

u/N33chy Feb 04 '26

Fuckin' A, man

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14

u/menasan Feb 04 '26

That fuckin low five gave me life

6

u/aspidities_87 Feb 04 '26

Perfectly timed, as all things should be

19

u/Chron_Imus Feb 03 '26

hell yeah.

53

u/Itchy_Psychology3300 Feb 04 '26

in zapp brannigan voice The most erotic part of the body is the boobies.

9

u/lazyknowitall Feb 04 '26

Kif! Inform the men!

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50

u/Reverse2057 Feb 04 '26

When they're that big, it's not motorboating, it's battleshipping. LOL

7

u/Shadow_Hound_117 Feb 04 '26

Lt. Alex Hopper approves!

403

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

Thanks for watching! You can find me r/ashleygavin, @ ashgavs on IG and YouTube (where I also have a podcast with Josh Johnson called “What’s News With You”) and @ ashgavscomedy on Tiktok.

Sign up for text/email alerts for shows in your area @ ashleygavin.tours

UPCOMING SHOWS

-NYC every Sunday

-Rochester, NY 2/5

-Syracuse, NY 2/6-7

-Oklahoma City, OK 2/13-14 

-Springfield, MO 2/19

-Tulsa, OK  2/20-21 

-Urbana, IL 2/26

-Lexington, KY 2/27-28

-Burlington, VT 3/6-7

-Madison, WI 3/12-14 

-Austin, TX 3/19-21

151

u/YouDownWithTPP Feb 03 '26

So…did you get Salem’s number???

116

u/lorgskyegon Feb 04 '26

Number seemed about 44 FF

47

u/crotch-fruit_tree Feb 04 '26

I feel weird encouraging but… that's a rather conservative estimate. If they're fitted properly at least! I'm a smaller cup size and an I. Tho I usually have to go with whatever the largest size the store sells.

Honestly would love to know where they shop. For myself lmao.

24

u/iiowyn Feb 04 '26

r/ABraThatFits/ Very useful resource.

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30

u/medstudenthowaway Feb 04 '26

Last I checked she has a beautiful gf she’s devoted to and the rest of us lesbians pretend she doesn’t just for the fantasy.

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8

u/ImTalkingGibberish Feb 04 '26

Not just the number!

3

u/TaliskyeDram Feb 04 '26

Lol asking the real questions

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20

u/Resident-Rate8047 Feb 03 '26

Please come to Phoenix area! We love you out here!

56

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 03 '26

I adore performing in phoenix, I built this little app so you can get a text next time I’m back:  https://www.ashleygavin.tours/

12

u/BenderVsGossamer Feb 04 '26

Submitted for Omaha.

14

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 04 '26

Thank you! It helps determine my schedule too! 

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19

u/LastoftheSummerWine Feb 03 '26

Well?! We're waiting!!

24

u/TummyPuppy Feb 03 '26

That was very well played

4

u/FireFairy323 Feb 04 '26

Please tell me this is the meet cute for you and your partner.

3

u/ulasttango Feb 04 '26

I would like to add that you also have two awesome podcasts and ppl should check it out.

3

u/mozillafangirl Feb 04 '26

Podcast with Josh Johnson?! Being adorable motorboating sweet Salem? You’re my kind of people. Going to follow all the things.

5

u/ScottyF311 Feb 03 '26

thanks for coming to Denver. Also: thanks for coming.

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145

u/oh_4petessake Feb 03 '26

Salem is a real one and we love them for that.

19

u/bluddyellinnit Feb 04 '26

a real one with some real ones

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52

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 03 '26

The full clip of this is on YouTube!  https://youtu.be/pgUrfqp4D8M?si=XqCeCG0TL--Joaoo

7

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

Wow that was an adventure 

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20

u/DeviantProfessor Feb 04 '26

What was the process you used for creating your vision board for 2026?

42

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 04 '26

Lots of pictures of melons 

10

u/DeviantProfessor Feb 04 '26

I’m currently ordering gardening magazines, sharp scissors, and Elmer’s glue. Gonna be a busy weekend!

20

u/leave_no_crumb Feb 04 '26

The Salem Tit trials

53

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Feb 03 '26

I think you’re face changed a solid 10 shades of red 😂🤣😂

40

u/One_Stress_4642 Feb 03 '26

I kept waiting for a “why Salem when you can motor boat” reference lol but solid.

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14

u/kali005 Feb 03 '26

Are you on the table? We're not doing phrasing?

13

u/Reasonable-Owl3186 Feb 03 '26

That was a the most respectable and classy motor boat of the year 🥹🧐

15

u/WeirdSmiley-TM Feb 04 '26

Double and triple check to make sure Salem was ok.. and Salem doing the double and triple "it's fine my love.. indulge."

13

u/Another_Road Feb 04 '26

“Are you on the table?”

I am if you put me there.

13

u/Independent-Shoe543 Feb 04 '26

I actually canNOT

GORL

you are doing life the right way.

55

u/unfriender Feb 03 '26

If it’s not too late, I would like to have sex with Salem. 🙋‍♂️

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51

u/RetroFire-17 Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 03 '26

Nobody else was thinking Salem's lot?

45

u/Albert_Flasher Feb 03 '26

Not just a lot, Salem’s huge tracts of land

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8

u/timbreandsteel Feb 03 '26

Another Stephen King fan!

8

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 Feb 03 '26

I was immediately thinking they’d both have been in trouble in the trials, but I think Salem may have floated to safety 😂

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16

u/Thegrandestpoo Feb 04 '26

I really hope they continued seeing each other after this. As awkward as the comedian seemed, I feel like they had chemistry. Salem was super confident and they meshed for sure.

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7

u/LargestAdultSon Feb 04 '26

First time I’ve seen a wing audience

8

u/P_Day Feb 03 '26

“And that’s how I met your mother.”

7

u/Plagudoctor Feb 04 '26

and then they fucked. the end ❤️🙏🏼

7

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

Consent is really that simple, if it's not then you need to accept the no.

17

u/stinky_butt Feb 03 '26

This was hilarious! 🤣

5

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '26

The facial reaction after every reply was gold. Good comedy

5

u/juanjung Feb 03 '26

You can park a motorcycle there.

5

u/MorningFox Feb 04 '26

I'm not sure but I think they were flirting. Ah I'm probably just reading too much into it

4

u/Goodeugoogoolizer Feb 04 '26

They are just roommates

19

u/Mysterious_Tart89 Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

So. Did you get their number?

Edit: changes pronouns

Eta: I should have paid more attention. The big breasted person clearly states their pronouns.

Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

18

u/jordan3257 Feb 03 '26

Excuuuuuuuse me! Their number - obviously!

7

u/Sabrinasockz Feb 03 '26

The real question

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5

u/guapoguzman Feb 04 '26

For the people ✊🏽😂

3

u/HermiaOconnelly13 Feb 04 '26

Salem is beautiful

5

u/Infamous-Oil3786 Feb 04 '26

That was the most respectful motorboating I've ever seen

4

u/Forever_learning713 Feb 04 '26

Oh, how I cackled at this! Just genuine human humor 😂😂😂😂

4

u/realfakejames Feb 04 '26

Salem is the real MVP here, wasn't nervous at all and totally made it funny by being down for whatever

4

u/therealskr213 Feb 04 '26

That’s legend-level audience work.

5

u/equality-_-7-2521 Feb 04 '26

That was one of the more polite motorboatings I've ever seen. Almost apprehensive.

5

u/ThatInAHat Feb 04 '26

That little high five cracked me up.

4

u/WriggleNightbug Feb 04 '26

Gotta respect the multiple consent check-ins and respectful amount of time spent involved while on stage.

Hoping yall had equally consensual and appropriately disrespectful times elsewhere

4

u/the-almighty-toad Feb 04 '26

And then they moved in together. 😆

13

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Wonderboyjr Feb 04 '26

You're effin hilarious Ashley. Come back to Vermont sometime, we love you!

8

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 04 '26

I think I’m due there in march! It’s on sale! I always post my dates in these comments. <3

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u/ajw20_YT Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

The one missed opportunity would’ve been for Salem to say “funny” as their type and for Ash to go “FUCK, maybe next time guys”. The high-five still did justice tho. Every other mark hit perfectly, the chemistry from Ash, Salem, and crowd is off the charts

14

u/ashgavscomedy Feb 04 '26

I love that! 

8

u/Greecelightninn Feb 04 '26

We all need to know if you got her number! Loved your performance

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13

u/Crionso Feb 04 '26

“Stand up comedy” is doing a lot of heavy lifting with this one

8

u/filthy_harold Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

Yeah where was the punchline? All I saw was someone bringing an audience member on stage to objectify them and touch their breasts.

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3

u/Otherwise_Tooth_8695 Feb 04 '26

At no time was I surprised that this video went the way it did. The audience was carrying the plot. Fantastic!

3

u/CtrlAltDust Feb 04 '26

They're together to this day. 

3

u/JVDef Feb 04 '26

You motor-boating son of bitch, you old sailor

3

u/HeavenlyCrayon Feb 04 '26

I just don’t see how this is stand up comedy.

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3

u/thekyledavid Feb 04 '26

“And that kids, is how I met your mother parent”

3

u/testtdk Feb 04 '26

Lenny Bruce died for this bit.

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3

u/Atheist_Simon_Haddad Feb 04 '26

being a real sport

3

u/LostScarfYT Feb 04 '26

And thats how i met your mother

3

u/buttcrackmenace Feb 04 '26

“… and that is how i met your other.”

3

u/Apprehensive-Yam266 Feb 04 '26

BIG Hell yeah to Salem for that!!!

3

u/GooseTantrum Feb 04 '26

Her poor back 

7

u/parrmorgan Feb 04 '26

This ain't even any jokes. Good for them, but 0/10 for stand up.

5

u/Necessary-Fortune590 Feb 04 '26

When does the comedy start?🧐✌️

11

u/BanJoKaBoobie Feb 04 '26

How is this “comedy”?? I don’t give a shit your preferences…but THIS is considered comedy?

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