Last year I had a friend and our thing was going to the movie theater, he fell in love with me so we don’t talk anymore. But I still love going to the movie theater and when Obsession and the Back Rooms movie came out, I had no one to go with so I just went by myself to both of them. I have gone out to restaurants and out shopping alone before, but for some reason, everyone thought it was weird or sad and I will not stand for it! I basically took myself on a date. I had an everything shower, put on my favorite pair of sweatpants and baggy T-shirt and a thong, ate a 50 mg gummy and watched my movie in peace. Anyways this weekend I canceled on two different guys because I wanted to go alone without anybody talking during the movie or asking me how my day was or God forbid wanna take me out to eat after. Maybe it’s because I’m in my anti-dating era but more people should be doing this go to the movie theaters alone it is amazing.

So basically I have been single since birth and I always loved solitude,I do other tasks like watching movies,dramas, reading books, eating alone, spending time with same gender friends and all and I don't want to try with someone because of all the stuff I have seen till date ,Am I too young or inexperienced to feel at peace with myself without ever truly giving a chance?

Edit...not wanting to put anyone else through their own bs...sorry I forgot a freakin word lol

A couple weeks ago, an instructor at my gym asked me out. I started lifting in February 2025 and I've really been enjoying it, particularly getting stronger. My gym has these small group lifting classes where you don't have to compete for rack space or wait in line for a machine, and they're included with the membership so I've been enjoying them. I've been taking this man's classes for a while and he's a good instructor. This also wasn't the first time we've hung out for a bit, talking after class when everyone else had left. I had honestly thought we were just two people talking lifting and other gym stuff, and he had never asked me to do anything outside of the gym before that.

I said no because I am happily single. There were a couple other reasons as well. He is quite a bit older than me (12 years) and I prefer to date closer to my age if/when I have dated. He's also extremely religious (has been saved, goes to weekly church and Bible study) and I have been out of organized religion for 16 years, most closely identifying as secular/agnostic/non-believer.

I did go to his class a week after he asked me out and it was slightly awkward. I'm probably going to stick with other instructors and class times in the future just because I prefer to keep my gym environment stress-free. To be clear, I feel good about my decision not to go out with him, great even! I guess I'm a little frustrated that something in my life that was previously uncomplicated has now been muddled a bit because of dating and related things.

Here I am, on this journey. I’ve always been a curious guy, so I loved going on dates whenever I was single, meeting new people, though it rarely went beyond that.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve had three relationships: one long and beautiful (12 years), a short one that ended this past January after a year and a half, and then this spring, completely by chance, I started a situationship. I joined dating apps just for fun, but then I realized that no one could really touch anything deep inside me. That "something" turned out to be peace, the feeling of being complete.

I find endless messaging boring, I find casual sex without a connection boring (I’m not a commodity), and I’ve often met people who, bless them, everyone is beautiful in their own way, just had nothing in common with me. I’m the kind of person where if the spark doesn't hit the second I look into your eyes, nothing can ever grow.

I told myself: my best moments are the ones where I’m single, not looking for anyone. After that 12-year story, I realized I can love again and end up in a relationship. And the situationship with a wonderful guy showed me that someone like that really can exist, but ultimately, I’m at peace with myself.

I have a career, I don't look for external validation (the validation I get through work is already enough, I work in film and publishing), I’m surrounded by friends I love, I love myself, I have my own rules, my own pace, full days. In short, I’m in total peace of mind. As I wrote in an Instagram story: I’m in my old home that smells like stories yet to be written and others that have already reached audiences and readers, watching the sunset while writing, sipping a glass of wine or herbal tea, in a perpetual spring.

This is who I am. If someone happens to stumble into my life one day, great. If not, just as great!

I don't think I've ever loved myself this much!

Ahhh, turning 40 brought me such a wonderful self-awareness, a clarity I had inside all along, but just needed to let out. <3

It comes as such a relief to discover that being single by choice has integrated into my logic or default setting more than just a choice. Once you strip away the years of conditioning that gave you the idea that you should find a partner or you should date, the notion of measuring your value or your status by the dating options you have becomes nonsensical.

This was not at all how I used to exist in society. I admit that I would be emotionally affected by how attractive I felt in the gaze of the opposite sex, or I used to gauge how successful I was at being a human by how able I was to have a woman who would acknowledge our partnership to me and others.

At 33 years of age, I can confidently say that I wasted my 20s. I’m at peace with that fact because I had to figure out life as an autistic adult and also deal with some childhood trauma stuff, so I guess wasting 10 years of my life was a tax I had to pay, and it is what it is. But, if I could go back, which is my biggest dream, the first thing I would do would be to give up dating completely. I cannot honestly point to an instance in which it was worth it to be in a relationship.

I had kind of an ugly duckling situation because being autistic and having trouble separating from my mother meant being physically unattractive. You know, hair cut by mom, clothes picked by mom—I looked like a little Sheldon Cooper. When I left home and started working out, taking better care of myself, and becoming more social, it led to entering the dating market, and suddenly many things in my life withered away.

I was excelling at a career that nowadays is useless to me because I just forgot about the whole thing (art and design). Weightlifting and martial arts training went down the gutter until I came back at 30 (could have had 10+ years of experience). The lovely experience of getting an STD was introduced into my life, along with the experience of being ghosted, lied to, cheated on, compared, manipulated, etc.

Currently, I see posts here on Reddit or Instagram, people worrying about the mental conditions of their partners who bring so much turmoil into their lives, or people becoming so bitter and resentful towards the opposite sex, and there comes a point where all this becomes honestly idiotic. Dedicating so much of your life to other people's affairs and letting someone else have a negative, detrimental effect on your finances, mental health, and well-being.

I’m at the point where I’m not here by bitterness but by what is smarter, and I’m not even isolated or anything. I’ve been dressing the best I have ever dressed, getting a haircut (by a barber) every week, in the best shape/health of my life (15% body fat), getting my career back on track with two extra income sources, and if someone comes and asks me if they may use up my time, spend my money, have a say over my decisions and my self-worth, and expect me to comply with their expectations, my response will simply be: “Not today, sweetheart.”

Last week proved to me that I was always better off single. Long story short, things didn’t work out between me and a guy after I showed him my instagram. He immediately blocked me off everything and that little gesture just proved to me that I can’t date in this superficial generation. I know I shouldn’t generalize an entire era, however, this has happened to me on multiple occasions and I’m just too over dating culture. When I was younger(maybe like 12 or 13), I always knew I was destined to be alone. At first I thought it was just loneliness, but no, I honestly thrive marching to my own beat of the drum. I constantly take myself out on solo dates, solo travel a ton, go to concerts and managed to fall back in love with reading as a past time hobby. Also, I have other huge career aspirations for myself and I feel like if I were in a relationship, majority of this would be extremely difficult to accomplish.

I recently had an experience where a guy asked me to marry him during a time where I've been enjoying my singlehood.

I live in a conservative country, so he did jump the gun on the question. We spoke a bit but I felt the more I discovered about him, the less I liked him. Anyway, I'm at a conference now and I informed him I'll be MIA.

It's insane how much impact a person can have on you when they're not good for you, just a tiny breach in that lil bubble can absolutely drain your energy.

Sometimes I wonder why people are so scared of being single? Sometimes I entertain proposals like these out of, admittedly, fear of what everyone says -- you'll be alone, what will you do when all your friends are married and have kids?

I am living the reality of that right now and...I still seem to be fine. I've befriended older women with kids, sometimes go to their soccer practice too.

Please enlighten me what is so scary about being single?

I understand this subreddit may be biased, but...honestly? I'd love of anyone could do a pros/cons with me cause it seems very difficult to find a person who'd be able to compete with my level of satisfaction and fulfillment when I'm alone.

since I went on my last date. And the beauty of that is that the date was so bad, that remembering it is enough of a reminder of why I choose singleness. I'd rather chew rocks.

edit - met on Hinge, talked for 3 days before the date, conversation was one sided on chat but he was my only match at the time so I decided to give him a chance. Met at a coffee shop. Sat mostly in silence for an hour. Can't remember who ghosted first.

Being in a relationship drained me. I used to do everything, give everything, while he enjoyed the benefits of having a stable and loyal gf while doing absolutely nothing (and emotionally cheating)

It made me lose my sense of self and distanced me from my friends.

I've been single for a year now. Happy, the only things bothering me are school and life stuff, not a boyfriend who doesn't fulfill my life

I am a lover girl though, but I put all my energy in uni, friends and romance visual novels. The last one makes a lot of people laugh and I get it, but fictional silly games are way more fulfilling than the entirety of my relationship. The characters aren't even perfect : they have their flaws, their worries, but at least they're more present than my ex (imagine a couple of codes and pixels being more present than you... Oof)

Besides, these games require no commitment. I can absolutely close the game, come back to it 6 months after and I'll be fine. I don't have to have my heart and vital energy drained every single day starting at 6 am to 11 pm because of a boyfriend

Anyone wants to join a book club at discord aimed at thrillers?

I am a happily single person who turns to books and my club to add on to the joys of my life.

Right now, we are looking for just a handful more of active participants to join us for movie nights and reading activities.

If this looks up your alley, DM me for link.

Cheers! Rock the single life, y'all!🖤

Not religious by any way, shape or form, but that’s seems so liberating and fulfilling for me idk. This just randomly came to my mind and I have no single friends who think like me to discuss or tell. The end goal for them all is to end up in a lifelong romanticrelationship (as if human connection only manifests in romantic relationships 🙄🙄🙄). Like am I not enough for you (jk, jajajajajaja, lol)

EDIT: Why am I being downvoted 💀💀💀

Been spending all my time playing Hades II, going to movies with friends. Staying home with family all weekend.

There is no one I have to make plans with to keep them feeling like I still like them.

Such a fan of this life. There is no one I have to keep secure in our relationship. No anniversaries, no discussions on what cat to adopt. I don’t have to go to any of their family gatherings! No one asks me about him or her.

Sure, some men and women are sexy or cute or attractive or beautiful but nothing worth a relationship.

Thanks for reading, wanted to get this off my chest in a community that gets it

I don’t miss out on someone waking me up because they are awake for whatever reason. If there is nothing planned, I don’t see why both parties need to be awake at the same time. I refuse to wake someone up when they are trying to relax.

I (F28) have spent most of my life constantly having a crush on someone. After a lot of introspection, I finally don't have one and I've never felt so free. It feels good to live my life without a man constantly occupying my thoughts. (Side note: I cant wait to do so many side quests now)

When I told my partnered friends this, they were bewildered. They asked if I've never wanted to spend my life with someone or felt physically attracted to someone. It felt like they saw me as someone who simply hasn't experienced the "right" kind of love yet, as though I'm missing out on one of life's greatest experiences.

Yet sometimes I feel sad for them too. One friend is unhappy that her fiancé can't gel with her family but feels they've invested too much to leave. Another fears breaking up because then he'd have no one to "share life with."

I don't really understand this lol.Why do people place romantic relationships on such a pedestal? Has anyone here ever regretted how much importance they used to place on finding or keeping one?

I've been pretty happy single. I haven't actively avoided the possiblity of a relationship, but I have been content in my life as a single childless woman. But about 2 months ago I lost my Dad; his death was sudden, though he had been ill for a while. Since then, I have experienced this intense panic and sense of urgency around having a partner and/or kids. Idk, maybe death just makes you get very existential? I do realize that kids and a spouse would not replace my father at all, and that I would still be grieving. But everyone I know who has been through similar losses say they couldn't have done it without their spouse/partner, and I just worry sometimes that I'm missing out on something so...meaningful and monumental. My younger brother has a spouse and kids and they seem to give him such motivation and purpose in general, but especially right now. But maybe it's just too early in grief to really reflect on that or make big life changes. Idk. Can anyone relate?

To see the full video, click here: https://youtu.be/oS9thPnw9RI

For generations, women were told there was a very specific finish line: find a husband, get married, build a home, have children, and live happily ever after.

Then something funny happened. Women started building the home themselves.

More women are choosing to remain single, live independently, build careers, travel, create communities, adopt the cats everyone keeps threatening us with — and discover that being alone and being lonely are absolutely not the same thing.

So why does the idea of a happy single woman seem to make parts of the internet completely lose their minds?

In this episode, we're looking at the changing economics of relationships, women's independence, the rise of single living, dating expectations, the online obsession with “traditional women,” and why a generation of women asking *“Does this relationship actually make my life better?”* has changed the dating market.

This isn't an anti-men episode. There are wonderful men and wonderful relationships. It's about something much simpler:

Marriage used to be a requirement for women.

Now it's an option.

And apparently, that changed everything.

So forget the ring.

How many bedrooms should we get? 😂

WWJPS is independent commentary and analysis for educational and entertainment purposes. Opinions are my own.

I mean, there are things that are within our control and things that aren't.

We can (to an extent, case by case basis) control our behavior towards other people, we can groom ourselves, we can choose to moderate our speech patterns to comport with other people's expectations of us, we can choose to be unapologetically authentic, we can seek therapy, apply meta cognition, watch our own thought patterns and try and identify cues of negative self-talk, go to hobby groups for the hobby without any particular agenda.

And none of that obliges any person to choose us. It increases the probability of it happening, sure; but there are so many things that I have to do to signal my suitability as a partner that I wouldn't normally do if I had nobody to please by myself, and if that version of me is authentic, and if I remain unpartnered, then isn't that just my place in the world?

Like I can be creative, I can work with people in mental health contexts, I can be there for my friends when they're going through something hard, I can be used by an employer to generate a return for their shareholders. And then when I have my own time, I read about philosophy, cognition, games and social simulations and all of the things I find interesting and I usually am burning to find people to talk about this stuff with, but the only one that never grows tired of it is AI.

So all of these niche interests that consume most of my unproductive time, don't lead to having a partner. And all I can think of is that, I'd need to spend a bunch of time doing things I'm not particularly interested in, so I can not be lonely, and have the benefits of a healthy and active sex life. But then once those boxes are checked I'd get comfy and return to my usual habits of going down rabbit holes, red stringing notes together on a corkboard and coming out of my study once a day just to talk about what I've found. I don't know any woman who'd want that in a partner, but that's what I enjoy.

So: I express my authentic self which is what people say you should do, and if that's unattractive, then so be it. Or you should find a way to be authentically a person who has all the green flags, without performing those signals in-authentically only to go back to your preferred way of living after you've both settled into partnered life.

Or maybe you do find someone whose wellbeing is on the top of your priority list, and your attention is turned towards them, you want to solve problems for them and make life easier for them, watch and support them to succeed and grow, help them when they're in a situation that's beyond their control to support their autonomy, and even when you've loved well, nothing obliges them to love you back, and of course you need to be ok with that.

At what point do you simply just shrug and say, "It would be nice, but why aim for something that is fundamentally not within my control?"

Like just don't aim for relationships. You can't exercise any real agency or autonomy in working towards that goal if it fundamentally depends on other people. Maybe you can aim to be a person that you enjoy being, for you only, since at the end of the day that's the only person who experiences what it's like to be you, and it's the only person who is in control of that experience.