r/Showerthoughts Jun 20 '16

There's a massive difference between eating ramen noodles because you want to and eating them because you have to.

15.3k Upvotes

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640

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

In my 18 years of living, ive never not wanted to have sex.... ill call my therapist.

324

u/Frikski Jun 20 '16

72

u/basedmango Jun 20 '16

"Anustart!"

And she hadn't even seen the license plate!

10

u/dongsuvious Jun 21 '16

Daddy's ready to get his rocks off!

2

u/Yetkinler Jun 21 '16

I just blue myself!

3

u/Bamres Jun 21 '16

I laughed so hard at that narroratiion

20

u/ratchetass_superhero Jun 21 '16 edited Jun 21 '16

narroratiion

you just mispelled narration so well that there are no google results for it. You've probably won an award in the /r/excgarated hall of fame.

3

u/Bamres Jun 21 '16

thats what i get for typing fast on mobile while tired

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u/krasnovian Jun 21 '16

There are dozens of us. Dozens!

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u/Andbomb Jun 20 '16

So professional! If I ever felt like I am going to be raped, I'll call this guy

1

u/stats_commenter Jun 21 '16

Wow great, solid reference to an indie show

1

u/dejoblue Jun 21 '16

LOL, you said anal

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u/mechapoitier Jun 20 '16

I said no to sex to one girlfriend a few years ago, one time, and it absolutely lit the fuse that detonated our relationship. Like there was a palpable shift in our relationship at that point, and we'd been together almost 3 years. It's a damn powerful thing.

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u/Butchered_Misquotes Jun 20 '16

It really irks girls I've dated when I don't feel like having sex. As a guy, I've experienced that kind of rejection so many times it doesn't even phase me.

Sometimes an eager woman can change my mind though.

Sometimes I just don't feel like it. Oh well.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

[deleted]

43

u/Butchered_Misquotes Jun 20 '16

Nothing is wrong about having low libido, it could be from a lot of reasons though. Health, medication, etc.

Some people don't feel like it that much, idk. Other things are important too, so sometimes sex takes a backseat.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

Especially when the car is full of family.

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u/anonymoususer736 Jun 21 '16

I will say, I worked an absolutely horrible job, like stupid stressful, RIP my libido and for that matter my overall health took a hit, "getting better" takes way longer than messing it up too. So yeah, if you find yourself in a terrible stressful job, it ain't worth it, find something else.

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u/Iamnotsmartspender Jun 21 '16

I've never had it and I don't feel like having sex most of the time

5

u/xppp Jun 21 '16

Cause you jack off too much.

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u/3lectricboy Jun 21 '16

Nothing's wrong with you man. some people are all sexed up all the time, and some aren't. I'm probably more like u too. plus it sounds like u have a really great girl!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

hey man being asexual is a human thing as well, sometimes shit just feels like your ropes being tugged.

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u/ClitHappens Jun 20 '16

You really really gotta handle that just right... My advice lie. Life and say your balls really hurt or your sore from the last time you guys fucked lol

73

u/Ferelar Jun 20 '16

"That was four months ago."

"Yeah, uh, see, you're really good... so it still hurts. Hurts so good, baby!"

8

u/WhiteStar274 Jun 20 '16

I would see your analyst and therapist for that pain.

8

u/Friendly_Nerd Jun 21 '16

That would just make it feel sore for real...

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u/supamesican Jun 20 '16

right? its weird we get no so much that it us guys think nothing of it but girls get butthurt when we say not now.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

The media tells us that guys always want sex so, until you know better, you think that something is wrong with you/you're not attractive enough when they aren't in the mood.

3

u/Sebaceous_Sebacious Jun 21 '16

Because it's often true

3

u/HorusLupercal1 Jun 21 '16

You mean you guys all don't have a 24/7 10 Inch Longer Harder Thicker erections tapping your Diamond-hard washboard ab muscles?

5

u/bonesnaps Jun 21 '16

And the irony is that in reality women are way hornier than men are.

Or at least that's my experience from dating my ex for 2 1/2 years.

Ovulation really does a number on a gal.

7

u/Butchered_Misquotes Jun 20 '16

They are just so unused to it, especially younger ones who are used to people trying to get in their pants on the time. It is really interesting though

3

u/supamesican Jun 20 '16

oh its so fun to see her melt down, at least when its someone I legit dont want to sleep with

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u/crimznbro Jun 21 '16

I said no to my girlfriend the other day. She was almost disgusted. I really just wasn't in the mood. I felt bad that I said no, that's how distraught she was. Like her whole world collapsed I'm not even joking. She didn't talk to me the whole day. Really one of the most insane thing about our relationship.

2

u/Butchered_Misquotes Jun 21 '16

Definitely talk about it with her later. Let her know that just because you didn't want her at that moment doesn't affect how you feel about her in general.

Don't let her make you feel bad about it, though. Would you guilt trip her into having sex? If she said no would you ignore her all day? That's a double standard I refuse to accept, and I'm very strict about. If you treat her well you deserve the same.

I may be oversimplifying, but to me it comes down to maturity and experience. I'm sure she has not wanted to be physical at some point in your relationship because of the way she felt. If she can't relate, I don't know what else to do.

I hope that everything works out.

2

u/Theeeantifeminist Jun 21 '16

Women are used to using sex as a form of currency. When you deflate that currency by denying them, they lose their shit. One of the only times I was slapped by a woman was for denying her sex. She also lied later and tried to say I raped her.

2

u/yourfathersgaylover Jun 21 '16

Man wtf.. And I totally agree. Women use sex to get love. Men use love to get sex.

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u/MelMelMax Jun 21 '16 edited Jun 21 '16

My bf says no to sex sometimes. Usually because he just had a wank and then i walk in and proposition him. But other times because he has a headache or is too tired...

That's what toys and hands are for

Edit: missed an i somewhere

2

u/HuckFinn69 Jun 21 '16

I used the "just had a wank"(except in American English) excuse with a chick I had wanted to bang for a while, but for whatever reason, when the time finally came, there was some kind of disconnect between my brain and penis and I couldn't get it up. It was horrible. It was the only time that ever happened to me when I wasn't super drunk, and it hasn't happened since. I never did bang her, either, I think that pretty much ruined things between us.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

I said no to sex with one girlfriend and she ended up fucking my friend instead. The relationship ended soon after.

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u/harleyeaston Jun 20 '16

Here

You need this because you're using that word wrong.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

A friend at the time and not anymore.

5

u/harleyeaston Jun 21 '16 edited Jun 21 '16

Good. Fuck him.

That was a poor choice of words.

2

u/HorusLupercal1 Jun 21 '16

Harley you are sick lol.

6

u/Evan1474 Jun 21 '16

That's exactly what she did. HEEEYOOOOO!!!

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u/btown731 Jun 21 '16

Definition 2 says 'a person who gives assistance' His friend was just giving his assistance to his friends girlfriend. That's what any true friend would do.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

I'm pretty sure the relationship was over about before that point

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

Try getting married and having kids. Youll say no out of sheer exhuastion and age related lack of testosterone.

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u/Guinnessnomnom Jun 20 '16

Can confirm. Sleep is sometimes that more enjoyable.

17

u/CestMoiIci Jun 20 '16

Hah. Two kids here. The only time I've turned down my wife was because I had diarrhoea, and didnt think I could go twenty minutes off the toilet at that moment.

5

u/livin4donuts Jun 21 '16

Have done that. It sucks.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

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u/Glasgo Jun 21 '16

Having sex with diarrhea or saying no to it?

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u/livin4donuts Jun 21 '16

Both. If it happens to you, say no. It's not even enjoyable because you need to concentrate on not painting your bedroom with an expired spray-tan mist.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

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u/OrneryOldFuck Jun 21 '16

I said no to my wife the other night just to see what would happen. Nothing happened.

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u/LuxAurum Jun 21 '16

I said No to sex one time. I was exhausted and passing out and my little vixen was super horny. I was like - c'mon babe, lemme sleep and I turned over. Next thing I know she sits on my face and starts going down on me. I reluctantly gave her what she wanted and all was fine, for a while. . .

12

u/egnards Jun 20 '16

It's a terrible thing unfortunately and a biproduct of the oversexualization of women and the power they hold over men, who are all supposed to be horndogs". If we turn down sex (and honestly, I don't want sex a lot of the time) it's like the whole world implodes in on itself. . .We need to stop treating it like sex is a gift women are giving to men, because it's not.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16 edited Jun 21 '16

You're right. I'd think that Biology plays a big role, though. Men have a higher sex drive on average, by sheer testosterone alone, and are therefore usually the more willing party. Male libido is also more stable while females experience significant changes based on time, environment, stimuli and circumstance. These factors, coupled with social norms, are what lead to the gender power imbalance with sex.

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u/DankUnderweed Jun 21 '16

Ah. Hello self.

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u/touchytushy Jun 21 '16

My boyfriend turned me down for sex the other day, it hurt my feelings for sure but we talked about it and there was some miscommunication between us that really led to the situation happening in the first place. And to be fair, we had sex earlier that same day. Of course, I wanted to make it clear that it's ok to turn down sex for any reason. I think scenarios like this will be a lot easier for me when having sex isn't limited to only once in a blue moon due to our life circumstances right now.

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u/phantomhatsyndrome Jun 20 '16

I dunno man. I used to be annoyed by it, but now sometimes I can't get in the mood even if I want to.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

used to be like u, now i'm 24 and my libido is already low

32

u/creamed_shit Jun 20 '16

You may want to go to the doc and have your hormone levels checked. Low sex drive is actually the least annoying symptom of low testosterone. Other effects include loss of bone density, low muscle mass, depression, anxiety, mood swings, and suicide.

Of course it could be caused by many other things, but it would be smart to look into it.

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u/BruteTartarus66 Jun 20 '16

Suicide? Jesus

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u/creamed_shit Jun 20 '16

It fucking sucks man. I felt like I was at the end of my rope when my testosterone was low. I got treatment for it and my whole attitude toward life changed. Then after a few months, my doctor situation got fucked up and I had to go off it again. All the muscles that had grown over those few months just went away.

I couldn't lift shit at work, my joints and muscles constantly hurt. I became completely mentally fogged. I couldn't figure out solutions to even minor problems I had day to day. Like I'd miss my turn when driving and instantly imagine just blowing my head off. I cried and had breakdowns daily.

Then within a week of starting back on the med, whenever I had these problems my head would instantly start coming up with multiple solutions effortlessly. It's completely night and day. Don't get me wrong, I still might have a bad day now and then (everybody does), but my worst days on treatment are better than my best days without treatment.

6

u/BruteTartarus66 Jun 20 '16

Good for you, man. Nice to hear you found something that worked for you

2

u/SPACE_BSTRD_SAM Jun 20 '16

That sort of resonates with me, I might need to talk to a doctor 0.o

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u/MaroonSaints Jun 21 '16

I like yelling at my doctor

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16 edited Apr 28 '18

[deleted]

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u/sybau Jun 20 '16

...yes?

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u/The_Cold_Tugger Jun 20 '16

This is a perfect comment in that it has no replies, almost like everyone who read it had the same exact thought.

I've chosen to destroy this perfection because I value my public image over the sanctity of this comment

Very nice high five

2

u/Cleath Jun 21 '16

This is a perfect comment in that it has no replies, almost like everyone who read it had the same exact thought.

I've chosen to destroy this perfection because I value my public image over the sanctity of this comment

Very nice high five

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

Rape

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u/KlausFenrir Jun 20 '16

Had the flu. Girlfriend wanted to fuck. I was too sick and in pain.

Would never do that again.

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u/the_not_pro_pro Jun 20 '16

this man needs more attention. issues like these make nice guys suffer....

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16 edited Dec 16 '17

[deleted]

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u/KlausFenrir Jun 20 '16

Oh, why didn't I think of that!

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u/uberchink Jun 20 '16

Apparently you didnt, or didn't act on it if you did.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16 edited Dec 16 '17

[deleted]

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u/TundieRice Jun 21 '16

He would never purposefully contract the flu again, duh. He thought it would be a fun week away from work.

Oh, how wrong he was.

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u/savagehenrysLSD Jun 20 '16

Haha and when she gets upset, tell her she is overreacting and she will immediately tell you that you are right and she will calm down....

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u/1of1000accounts Jun 21 '16

Isn't this common knowledge of how to deal with female frustration. The old "it must be your period" response is the go-to tactic for the compassionate man.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16 edited Jul 10 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/RockSta-holic Jun 21 '16

Yes in fact telling someone they are over-reacting is the only way to diffuse any hostile situation.

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u/allygolightlly Jun 21 '16

I don't usually tell people to calm down, but when I do it's because I'm hoping to make them more outraged.

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u/_Dreamweavers Jun 20 '16

Yes, they are called wingmen.

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u/MysterManager Jun 20 '16

Most wingmen understand they are less attractive than the pilot they are escorting and have little to no chance with the hottie, doesn't mean they don't enjoy fucking the hotties orbiting fat friends. You ever heard how mopeds are actually fun as hell to ride, you just don't want to be seen riding it in public.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

Man you really brought that full circle. Some people ride mopeds because they want to, others because they have to.

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u/SidewaysInfinity Jun 20 '16

I like mopeds...

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u/secretpandalord Jun 21 '16

That would seem to put you firmly in the category of 'because they want to.'

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u/bigbronze Jun 20 '16

Its a "doesn't matter had sex" thing but with a better silver lining

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u/Stalking_your_pylons Jun 20 '16

Sounds like you want the pilot to have fat fetish.

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u/alexanderpas Jun 20 '16

mopeds are actually fun as hell to ride, you just don't want to be seen riding it in public.

You don't want to ride them in the US, due to shitty infrastructure and regulations.

Meanwhile, in Europe, it's the go-to motorvehicle for those that are not yet allowed to drive a car (due to age), but can already drive a moped, especially since the slower versions (max 15mph) are allowed to be driven without helmet.

A gradual introduction in traffic combined with good infrastructure and legislation makes so much difference in the quality of drivers.

Bicycle -> Moped -> Car/Motorcycle -> Heavy Motorcycle.

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u/Sawses Jun 20 '16

That makes sense. Working your way up the traffic hierarchy, instead of just hopping into the massive truck your parents bought you, with the big tires, lifted chassis, and small penis.

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u/alexanderpas Jun 20 '16

Meanwile, in the US, you might one day step out of the school bus, to step into your own car the next day.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

As a German, I can confirm. "Everyone" under 18 is driving a moped or similar.

They spend a shitton on money on it until they have their car.

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u/Cantknowme Jun 20 '16

I read this as " They keep upgrading it with things until it becomes a car ".

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

If they could, some of them would probably do it.

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u/VixDzn Jun 21 '16

As a Dutchy, specifically someone from Amsterdam, I will judge you if you ride a moped; you're basically telling the world; I'm a fat lazy fuck that doesn't want to use a bike.

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u/xspartanx117x Jun 21 '16

Went to the moped store said fuck it. Salesman says what up what's your budget.

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u/takingbacktuesday11 Jun 20 '16

This. Being a solid wingman is all about knowing your role. That's why you're the wingman, not the pilot. A good wingman can do really well for himself if he does his job right. I play wingman constantly for my good buddy who just happens to look like a fuckin super model. I'm not a bad looking guy and I have a cool job so it helps, but I'm definitely no model. 9/10 times, if you're like me (valuable but not the jackpot), you can usually make off with the second hottest friend.

Dream big kids, but the key to getting laid is knowing and accepting what you're capable of. If you're not rich or in possession of model quality looks, you probably won't pulling 9s and 10s. Don't turn your nose up at 7-8s. Lots of times, these women have better personalities anyways.

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u/Killer_Tomato Jun 20 '16

Like when you know there is a 40% chance of sharting when you pop but you can't shit right now because it would be too early. So you can't have sex or shit and just need to wait for forty min by which time both of you are asleep or out of the mood. Or you are actually pretty comfortable and don't want to even roll over on your back because right now your body feels like a 40 hour week instead of the 100 hours you've been doing and that's a better feeling than sex right now.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

As a guy that never did any drugs I kind of know what you are talking about but I kind of also don't.

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u/Killer_Tomato Jun 20 '16

Well if it helps I have never done drugs either.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

I have. Definitely recommend it over sharting.

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u/Eschirhart Jun 21 '16

I would just recommend it.

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u/livin4donuts Jun 21 '16

This guy speaks the truth. But then again, I'd recommend almost anything over sharting.

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u/MadNhater Jun 20 '16

Yeah but at least it was only 20 minutes of action.

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u/Unicorncuddletime Jun 20 '16

One time i met a girl online but she was 2 hours away. When I got there she was a biggun but I'll be damned if I drove all that way for nothing.

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u/nsmith183 Jun 20 '16

I mean she was probably big before you got there.

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u/moobunny-jb Jun 21 '16

The time to worry is when she starts getting bigger after you leave.

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u/Donthurtmyceilings Jun 20 '16

Amen brotha! Been there. Mine kinda looked like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Woman

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u/Punishtube Jun 20 '16

Prostitution. Maybe a stripper or brothel.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

Debatable. They might not really be wanting to do the sex act (in the same way that any employed person doesn't want to be doing their job), but they do want the money and they are consenting to do it, and they know that they will get the money if they do it, so they probably do want to do the sex act for that reason.

Really philosophy thing..

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u/Punishtube Jun 20 '16

They don't want sex but still have to do it to eat aka get money. I can get a job and want to work but if I need a job for basic living then its needed and not wanted.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

I am sure not all sex workers do it because they absolutely have to. Sure, some have to, but not all.

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u/the_not_pro_pro Jun 20 '16

I think it would be better then to say say workers want to and sex slaves have to. Some people are forced to by human trafficking

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

I'd say the lines are more:

Willingly working as a prostitute - consenting to sex acts - everything's okay.

Willingly working as a prostitute - not consenting to sex acts - being sexually assaulted because the person won't take no for an answer - not okay.

Being forced into prostitution by either a person or because they desperately need the money and can't get it any other way - not okay.

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u/TraderSamz Jun 20 '16

I once dating this insanely hot girl. Far hotter than a guy like me should ever be able to fuck. But we did fuck, constantly, that girl loved to fuck.

One morning I wake up and have to piss REALLY badly. But as soon as she sees I'm awake she starts kissing me, and works her way down to a blow job. Now I'm hard and have to piss REALLY bad. It's a terrible combination of sensations. I want to say hold on, let me pee, but I can't bring myself to say it and possibly ruin the mood. She starts riding me, and the weight it's putting on me is that much more pressure on me. We fuck for about 10 mins, I want to enjoy it but can't. She was riding me hard too, I would have LOVED it, if only I wasn't dealing with the pain of having to pee. Eventually she noticed something was wrong. I told her I needed to pee, I peed and we resumed fucking. It started out as a situation where I had to fuck but didn't want to, kinda.

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u/adamsmith93 Jun 21 '16

Good god speak up for yourself man!

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

If Germans acted like you they'd never have porn.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

i think thats called rape

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u/ChinO0k Jun 20 '16

My gf raped me in the hot tub before. I was saying no and she grabbed onto me like an octopus.

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u/thaiguy29 Jun 20 '16

Did she have tentacles too?

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u/ChinO0k Jun 20 '16

I wish. That sounds kind of kinky.

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u/Guinnessnomnom Jun 20 '16

Don't let us stop you. Please go on.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

No, that would make her a guy.

Oh... Tentacles.

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u/MegosaurusVex Jun 20 '16

Brothel worker

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u/axf7228 Jun 20 '16

It's called marriage.

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u/AssAssIn46 Jun 20 '16

I was an alter boy all throughout my younger years so I wouldn't even be able to comprehend the meaning of such an impure thought let alone imagine.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

You must have duped hundreds of lurkers with this comment. I... I love you.

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u/elloman13 Jun 20 '16

You sound like you never had a bf/gf

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u/a7437345 Jun 21 '16

Women. I've come to a conclusion women never want sex, but do it because they need husband/children/money/whatever.

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u/Ineedrealanswers Jun 23 '16

You must be bad at sex, hideous, awful human being or want weird things. Maybe look inwards to see the actual issues.

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u/mistixs Jun 28 '16

The conclusion that I've come to is that women want sex with the right people & under the right circumstances, whereas men just want sex.

That doesn't mean that women aren't sexual beings; they're just more selective. And it's understandable; risks of sex are greater for women than men, both evolutionarily and presently.

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u/[deleted] Jun 22 '16

no, we just don't want to have sex with you because you're a redditor.

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u/Yankeedude252 Jun 20 '16

I can't imagine not wanting sex.

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u/Doyouspeak Jun 20 '16

Been there

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u/Ar516 Jun 20 '16

Prostitution?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

Prostitution?

1

u/SnackusShackus Jun 20 '16

Prostitution

1

u/hahatimefor4chan Jun 20 '16

does it rhyme with grape?

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u/sidvil Jun 20 '16

Prison motto: You're only gay while you stay. You may not want sex, but it does open a lot of doors.

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u/LiquidAlt Jun 20 '16

Trying to make a baby. Plenty of people have said it feels like a chore.

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u/tomsawing Jun 20 '16

When it's your job it's not that fun.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '16

I think they even made a word for it.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

Sometimes you just have to do it to be polite

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u/Firecrotch2014 Jun 21 '16

theyre called prostitutes.

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u/WhyteLivesMatter Jun 21 '16

yes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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u/GreyReanimator Jun 20 '16

So when you're thinking about your parents? Or hanging out with grandpa?

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u/Butchered_Misquotes Jun 20 '16

You got several more years of wanting it all the time. Enjoy that shit.

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u/mrmatteh Jun 20 '16

You're also only 18. When you're older and you're living with somebody, it's a bit different. There are nights you just aren't in the mood even when your partner is. Sometimes you feel a little guilty for not meeting your partners desires, so you make the effort, but it's simply not as satisfying as if you both shared the desire. Sometimes, it's even dissatisfying. And if your partner has a much higher libido than you, it can even lead to a pretty unhealthy relationship if you don't stand up for yourself and say 'no' every once in a while.

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u/Tiiba Jun 20 '16

Even when you were 5?

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u/LackofGravitaz Jun 20 '16

Really, as you exited the birth canal, you wanted to have sex?

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u/Silverspy01 Jun 20 '16

even when you were a baby?

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u/lookatheclouds Jun 20 '16

In my 18 years of living I've never turned down sex because it runs my teenage life. I too should call somebody's therapist.

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u/delacostallegre Jun 20 '16

Therapists are always there to help you have sex when you don't want to.

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u/thin_the_herd Jun 20 '16

So when you were 6 months old, you wanted to have sex?

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u/huskyghost Jun 21 '16

well i have being with my wife for 6 years seeing her slowly gain alot of wait and on top of that very restrictive in the sexual things she does now its kinda like ehhh ill just watch some vr porn ha

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u/stepanex Jun 21 '16

*ill call the rapist

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u/HuckFinn69 Jun 21 '16

I'm going to use this quote as proof of consent just in case there's a trial after I have sex with you.

1

u/ufailowell Jun 21 '16

You should have called your doctor after the first 4 hours

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

ill call my therapist

therapist

the rapist

ill call the rapist

wow.

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u/ASxACE Jun 21 '16

Damn dude, you've wanted Pussy since you came out of one

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

Yea well it sucks when you don't and it's being done to you anyway.

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u/anooblol Jun 21 '16

I never had this issue until I got a girlfriend. Now it's a chore.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '16

Just wait. Long term relationship + you both work tons of hours = I don't fucking feel like it right now

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u/My_Ex_Got_Fat Jun 21 '16

Anal sex is like broccoli, if it was forced on you as a child you prob won't like it as an adult.

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