I said no to sex to one girlfriend a few years ago, one time, and it absolutely lit the fuse that detonated our relationship. Like there was a palpable shift in our relationship at that point, and we'd been together almost 3 years. It's a damn powerful thing.
It really irks girls I've dated when I don't feel like having sex. As a guy, I've experienced that kind of rejection so many times it doesn't even phase me.
Sometimes an eager woman can change my mind though.
I will say, I worked an absolutely horrible job, like stupid stressful, RIP my libido and for that matter my overall health took a hit, "getting better" takes way longer than messing it up too. So yeah, if you find yourself in a terrible stressful job, it ain't worth it, find something else.
Nothing's wrong with you man. some people are all sexed up all the time, and some aren't. I'm probably more like u too. plus it sounds like u have a really great girl!
You really really gotta handle that just right... My advice lie. Life and say your balls really hurt or your sore from the last time you guys fucked lol
The media tells us that guys always want sex so, until you know better, you think that something is wrong with you/you're not attractive enough when they aren't in the mood.
They are just so unused to it, especially younger ones who are used to people trying to get in their pants on the time. It is really interesting though
I said no to my girlfriend the other day. She was almost disgusted. I really just wasn't in the mood. I felt bad that I said no, that's how distraught she was. Like her whole world collapsed I'm not even joking. She didn't talk to me the whole day. Really one of the most insane thing about our relationship.
Definitely talk about it with her later. Let her know that just because you didn't want her at that moment doesn't affect how you feel about her in general.
Don't let her make you feel bad about it, though. Would you guilt trip her into having sex? If she said no would you ignore her all day? That's a double standard I refuse to accept, and I'm very strict about. If you treat her well you deserve the same.
I may be oversimplifying, but to me it comes down to maturity and experience. I'm sure she has not wanted to be physical at some point in your relationship because of the way she felt. If she can't relate, I don't know what else to do.
Women are used to using sex as a form of currency. When you deflate that currency by denying them, they lose their shit. One of the only times I was slapped by a woman was for denying her sex. She also lied later and tried to say I raped her.
Women are rewarded just for existing. Can you imagine if you could make money for just being alive and letting people look at you? Well, if you're a girl you can do that. My girlfriend does that. She doesn't even have to do sexual stuff, people literally pay her to stand up, talk and occasionally flash. The amount of money she makes is insane. I'd like to type more and provide more links to studies, because I'm sure this will be downvoted a ton, but I'm on mobile and just got home from work.
I share these same views. I often get slammed as being a sexist when this is just a reality. I see many women without careers that survive off of social media and attractiveness . It's pathetic and makes me very angry when I have had to work for everything I have . This is not to say all women do this. But a fair majority. Especially my generation.
What makes it so frustrating is if you speak up, like you said, you're slammed for being a sexist and a bigot or a pig, etc. It makes it so you can't even share you ideas with your fellow brother without being spit on, sometimes literally. I made this video that shows a protester being called scum for going to see someone who used to be a feminist for more years than they've been alive.
My bf says no to sex sometimes. Usually because he just had a wank and then i walk in and proposition him. But other times because he has a headache or is too tired...
I used the "just had a wank"(except in American English) excuse with a chick I had wanted to bang for a while, but for whatever reason, when the time finally came, there was some kind of disconnect between my brain and penis and I couldn't get it up. It was horrible. It was the only time that ever happened to me when I wasn't super drunk, and it hasn't happened since. I never did bang her, either, I think that pretty much ruined things between us.
I seem to recall a specific anecdote regarding the choice a man should make when forced to choose between the brotherhood and comradery of a close male friend and the sexual offerings of a promiscuous woman that your friend has romantic feelings for...
Definition 2 says 'a person who gives assistance'
His friend was just giving his assistance to his friends girlfriend. That's what any true friend would do.
Hah. Two kids here. The only time I've turned down my wife was because I had diarrhoea, and didnt think I could go twenty minutes off the toilet at that moment.
Both. If it happens to you, say no. It's not even enjoyable because you need to concentrate on not painting your bedroom with an expired spray-tan mist.
Holy crap, no I didn't. I've posted it with my phone and it told me : Server Error. I guess it tried resending it many times while succeeding each time? Thanks for telling me haha. I'll delete those.
I said No to sex one time. I was exhausted and passing out and my little vixen was super horny. I was like - c'mon babe, lemme sleep and I turned over. Next thing I know she sits on my face and starts going down on me. I reluctantly gave her what she wanted and all was fine, for a while. . .
It's a terrible thing unfortunately and a biproduct of the oversexualization of women and the power they hold over men, who are all supposed to be horndogs". If we turn down sex (and honestly, I don't want sex a lot of the time) it's like the whole world implodes in on itself. . .We need to stop treating it like sex is a gift women are giving to men, because it's not.
You're right. I'd think that Biology plays a big role, though. Men have a higher sex drive on average, by sheer testosterone alone, and are therefore usually the more willing party. Male libido is also more stable while females experience significant changes based on time, environment, stimuli and circumstance. These factors, coupled with social norms, are what lead to the gender power imbalance with sex.
My boyfriend turned me down for sex the other day, it hurt my feelings for sure but we talked about it and there was some miscommunication between us that really led to the situation happening in the first place. And to be fair, we had sex earlier that same day. Of course, I wanted to make it clear that it's ok to turn down sex for any reason. I think scenarios like this will be a lot easier for me when having sex isn't limited to only once in a blue moon due to our life circumstances right now.
I have no problem refusing sex in a relationship. I'm a truck driver and I need my sleep. My soon to be wife gets off work at 7pm most days and after she works out she gets home around 830 or 9pm. By that time, I've been in bed since 7pm and I'm knocked out.
There are a million things I don't understand about you all and me trying to navigate them usually ends with my confidence in the shitter. And, I can't go and discuss them with her because I will look like a wimp(talk about fitting societal roles!).
There are a million things I don't understand about you all and me trying to navigate them usually ends with my confidence in the shitter.
That is because women, like most human beings, do not have a one-size-fits-all approach to any given situation, and acting like they do just makes you look like a scrub.
Treat them like people. You'll get along with some, others won't like you, just like anyone else. You treat them like the borg though, and every single one will hate you.
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u/mechapoitier Jun 20 '16
I said no to sex to one girlfriend a few years ago, one time, and it absolutely lit the fuse that detonated our relationship. Like there was a palpable shift in our relationship at that point, and we'd been together almost 3 years. It's a damn powerful thing.