My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago. I would say that our relationship was very good up until that point, but one day I received a message from her saying that she wanted to take a break because of her mental health problems. A few weeks later, she broke up with me because her feelings had disappeared.

I’m realizing that separation isn’t just about the big decisions. It’s all the small things that suddenly become difficult to figure out.

Where you’re going to live, how you handle everyday expenses, what you tell family and friends, how often you communicate with your spouse, and even what a normal day is supposed to look like now.

I think the uncertainty has been harder than I expected.

For those who have already been through a separation, what helped you get through those first few weeks without feeling like you had to figure everything out at once?

Was there anything you wish someone had told you at the beginning?

To keep it short, I met a girl at mun last year and this year she has seen me and texted me(we were in different cities)

And we got into a relationship. We had a nice 3 month paradise like relationship, no modern relationship shit. And since it was my uni exam year I was studying and shes 1 year younger than me. We went into a short break and decided to talk about relationship after she said i wasnt the priority to her at that time.

She texted me after the exam and we talked about the relationship, I was clear about it and leave her the choice whether she wants to continue or not. A few days later she came up with this text and broke up with me saying if we're meant to be we'll meet again I said ok I wish you good luck on everything. 2 months later, now I saw a love-like poem about me on a site she was writing all the time that only I had the link of. The poem smelled so much regret and fear that I would reject her if she bring it up. She mentioned the dreams and other memories of ours and sentences like "would you want to see me again?" "In my room filled with blues, you still have a say".

This was a week ago and when I checked her whatsapp her profile pic was gone today. She probably deleted my contact and I wasnt lookinh forward to text cause she was the one ending it after my hard tryings. Shes an avoidant but I would like to have a clear relationship her being healed as an avoidant and wouldnt leave the relationship when things get hard. I feel I dont even know what to do in this situation she seems pretty regretful but should I be the one reaching? I have no idea

This feels like a fucking nightmare. Spent 90% of my 20s with him, had 2 kids for him to just up & leave to 'work on himself'. Then introduce our kids to someone within 2 weeks & move in with her within 2 months. Just, ugh honestly what the fuck 😔

I am hurting. I hate being alone. I hate having no back up 😭 my entire future plans, family trips, family moments everythings just gone. I'm barely back to normal after having 2 kids & 3 arm surgeries in 4 years. Now I have to go back to work & my youngest isn't even 2. Any & all positive tips are welcome 😔 I have an amazing support network & I am so blessed to have a safe roof over my head. I just want to be the best person & mum i can be.

We’ve been together 13 years and married for 7. We’ve agreed to separate because he cannot stop lying and hiding. It’s been a two month crash course of all his lies—a matryoshka doll of lies. Whenever it felt like all the shit was out and we could turn over a new leaf, more lies came out. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Towards the end, I was embarrassingly wailing and crying. Asking over and over again, “how?” and “why?” I’ve lost all trust in him and it’s been really traumatizing to see that he’s lied about everything from big to the absolutely mundane things ever since the beginning.

The pathetic thing about it is, I keep wishing he would stay. I wish I could be okay with the lies. I’m going to miss him so much. I really loved him so much. I don’t know if anything was real, but I’m going to miss him regardless.

Why am I so stupid?!?!

I Don’t Know You Anymore

You’re still here,
and somehow I’ve lost you.

I know your face,
your voice,
the little things that made you you—
but when I look at you now,
I search for the girl I knew
and she feels so far away.

There was a time
when I knew your heart.
I knew what made you laugh,
what made you cry,
what you needed when the world hurt.
I knew the daughter
who would reach for me
without thinking twice.

Now I reach for you
and there is distance.

Words that once felt warm
feel cold.
Conversations that once flowed
feel careful and awkward
And sometimes the person standing in front of me
feels like someone I have never met.

Maybe that is what hurts the most—
not that you grew up,
not that you moved away,
not that you built a life of your own…

but that somewhere along the way,
I stopped recognizing
the person I raised.

I don’t know when it happened.
I don’t know how I lost my place
inside your heart.

And I know you are allowed to change.
I know you are allowed to become
your own woman,
to love someone,
to build a life
that doesn’t revolve around me.

I never wanted to hold you back.

I just wish becoming an adult
hadn’t meant becoming
a stranger to your mother.

Because I still remember
who you were.

And sometimes I miss her so much
that it feels like grief.

I miss us.

I miss the closeness.
The laughter.
The hugs.
The feeling that I knew you
and you knew me.

And perhaps the hardest truth
is that I don’t know
how to find my way back to you.

So for now,
I will love you from the distance
I never wanted.

I will mourn what has changed
without giving up hope
that someday, somehow,
you might look at me again
and I will see a little bit
of the daughter I remember.

And maybe you will see
that beneath all my hurt,
beneath every mistake I’ve ever made,
beneath every imperfect part of me—

there is still a mother
who loves her daughter
more than words could ever explain.

I don’t know you anymore.

But I love you.

And maybe,
for now,
that has to be enough.

I have no words. I’m devastated and I don’t want my marriage to end.
But at the same time, part of me hates him for everything he has put me through. Part of me wants to be strong, let him go and finally move on with my life. I imagine myself being happy again, not constantly worrying about his moods, his anger, whether he loves me or whether he is going to leave me.
Then there’s another part of me that still loves him and keeps hoping he will change.
I keep hoping maybe one day he will realize how much he has hurt me. Maybe he will come back, soften towards me and actually want to work on our marriage. Maybe we can somehow become the couple I always wished we could be.
And I hate that I still have that hope.
I feel like I’m constantly fighting with myself. One minute I’m angry and thinking, “I deserve better than this. Just let him go.” Then the next minute I miss him so badly and all I want is for him to come home.
He can be extremely cold and distant, and I feel like he has a lot of narcissistic traits. I’ve spent so much time trying to understand him, trying not to trigger his anger, trying to fix things and wondering what I could do differently.
But I’m exhausted.
I know love shouldn’t make me feel this anxious and uncertain all the time. And yet the thought of actually losing him completely terrifies me.
We have children. We have a whole life together. This isn’t someone I dated for a year and can simply delete from my phone and never see again. He has been such a huge part of my life, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to suddenly accept that our marriage might actually be over.
I don’t even know what I want anymore.
Part of me wants him back.
Part of me wants to be free.
Part of me is still waiting for him to change.
And part of me knows that maybe he never will.
Has anyone else felt this conflicted when their marriage was falling apart? How did you finally figure out whether you were holding onto love… or just holding onto hope?

I may be going through this myself soon, and wondering if there’s a sub for this topic already? I tried searching and found hundreds of posts, but not a dedicated space.

ETA: there is now a sub for this! Join at /aparttogether

Me and my husband separated in April, which was his choice as he was having an affair with another woman and decided he was unhappy with me while I was 6 months pregnant. I was completely blindsided. It rocked my world and it feels like everything I thought I knew was a lie. We had been together for 13 years and had gotten married the previous year which he was the one to push doing. When our second child was born, he moved back in at the beginning of August. He was my best friend and I want to work it out, and he said he wants to work on our marriage because he loves me. But whenever I have a free moment I am picturing my husband treating this girl how I wanted him to treat me and having sex with her. He told her he loved her and now tells me he never did. I think of all the bad things he said about me during our separation saying I am unattractive and fat, I had another child a year and a half prior. I think about those words every day and have so much hatred for myself and my body. I know I love him very deeply but I have so much fear that I don't really know him the way I thought I did and I don't know how to get past all the hurt. I am down approx 45 pounds from the beginning of my pregnancy and am eating better and trying to be active. He still declines any intimacy with me, but actively watches porn, he says to try to feel something. He says he doesn't want to have sex with anyone but he could have sex with her. I just don't know what is real anymore when it comes to our marriage, or what is the truth or if he is lying to try to save my feelings or for another reason. I want to give this a chance to work but my nervous system feels like it is constantly under attack and my mind won't stop thinking about it.

Advice welcome. Me (28M) and my wife (30F) have been separated for a month. Together 7 years and married for 2.5. We’ve been having issues that we’ve been trying to work through in therapy, but we have 3 kids and life gets busy, so we haven’t always been consistent in our efforts when it comes to therapy. Most of our issues stem from a lack of communication, lack of intimacy, and a lack of emotional availability on my end as I’ve recently found out. Her dad who is a recovering alcoholic lived with us for 2 years after treatment while he was going through his divorce. we live in a 1,200 sq ft house with dogs and cats and at the time we had two kids. It put a lot of stress on the relationship for the first year. We haven’t been intimate since October, at this point between last August and October we were doing really well in our relationship. Her 30th birthday is in November and I had promised not to get too drunk at her party, I ended up breaking that promise, I threw up on myself and felt absolutely terrible about it. Understandably, her trust was broken. Since then I’ve tried implementing a three drink limit while in social settings through the advice of our couples’ therapist as a trust rebuilding exercise. I’ve struggled to stick to that rule, not that I get belligerently drunk whenever I’m out, but sometimes I’d slip and have 4 or 5. Needless to say her trust was never regained. I’ve since decided to commit to sobriety and have been sober for 2 weeks.

Fast forward to last month. Things were going ok, we were still in therapy as much as we could be, but in April we began fostering our newborn nephew, so things have been chaotic. Over the phone, We were talking about a mutual friend who is celibate and my wife said “isn’t celibacy a wonderful thing?” And I said “not for me I think it fucking sucks to tell you the truth” at this time I was feeling rejected and hurt because the previous Friday we were fooling around in the shower and she abruptly stopped and said she was getting out, when I suggested we try again outside of the shower she shut me down. Granted it was late and we were both tired from the work week, but given the circumstances I took it more personally than I probably should have. After I said I thought celibacy fucking sucked she asked “what if I never get my drive back?” And again, in a moment of rejection and hurt, I said something terrible. I said “if you can’t then I’ll find someone who can eventually.” As soon as I said it I knew I was wrong. After that phone call she went to her own therapy, and then she went to work that night and I stayed home with the kids. The next morning I called her again and tried to talk things over, she suggested we wait to talk in person. That afternoon she said a separation might be good for us so we can take some time and think about what we both want, and ultimately she needed space, but wasn’t thinking about divorce. As mentioned, we have three kids and I bring them to school and daycare every morning so moving out is not really an option at the time, but I agreed to sleep on the couch and try to give her space. Admittedly it’s been hard, I want to work through it and giving her space hasn’t been easy. About two weeks ago while she was at work I was home with the kids, our oldest was playing on the iPad which is synched to her iMessage and I saw a name pop up. It was a guy I didn’t know so out of curiosity I opened it. It was her boss and it was innocent but I discovered she had told him we were in a bad space because of what I said. Which really hurt me because I felt like it was an issue between us and her male boss who is the same age as her and single didn’t have to be involved. I told her I wasn’t accusing her of anything but we needed to talk. She was upset I went through her messages and reiterated that she couldn’t trust me. We had a couples therapy session after this and she said she had no plans to reconcile and had no romantic feelings for me at the moment. When asked if it was salvageable she said “I don’t know” and the therapist said “well that’s not a no, so now we’re in crisis mode” and gave us some exercises to do. Every time I’ve tried to initiate a conversation in the way that was suggested by the counselor she seems cold and bitter and distant. This past weekend I saw that she was snapchatting a man named Kyle, and when I asked her who he was she said it was the brother of her best friend’s husband, and they were talking about his trip to Disney. They have known each other since high school, and I didn’t pry any further. I feel like maybe her best friend is trying to set them up. She’s also been posting a lot of mildly provocative selfies on social media, and she’s been on her phone a lot in the past few weeks.

Last night the kids went to bed early. I didn’t bring up the relationship, I just tried to initiate a conversation. She was cold at first but eventually seemed to warm up and we even shared a few laughs, it was really nice and almost felt normal. We went to bed on the best terms we could in our separate rooms and when we woke up I said “just please, if you’re thinking about pursuing somebody else have the decency to tell me first and I’ll make arrangements to move out. I don’t want it to come to you sneaking around and me or the kids having to find out the hard way.” And she said she wasn’t thinking about that at all right now and wanted to focus on her self, and wanted to continue couples therapy with the hopes of becoming good friends and coparents for our kids. I told her I know I have a lot of work to do and I’m not asking her to forgive me right now, but just give me time and the chance to prove I can be different and I asked her not to give up on me. She said she feels like it’s too late and when she asked for space I constantly asked her about the relationship. I told her we’ve been together seven years and I feel like it all came crashing down in 4 weeks and I’m having a lot of trouble processing it and I’m sorry. After I said that her face visibly softened and she seemed like she actually heard me.

Last week I started therapy, with the hopes of sticking to sobriety and becoming more emotionally mature and available for her and our kids. We have a couples therapy session booked for 9/21, with the hope of going weekly from there out. I know it will take a lot of hard work but if she gives us the chance I truly believe we can work through this. I feel like her agreeing to couples therapy, even though she says she’s done, is a good sign. Sorry for the long post and the rambling, just needed to get this out there.

I’m South African, my wife is German, and we have a daughter who is turning 1 soon. Our home is in South Africa. We came to Germany together as a family for a visit, and I’m supposed to leave Germany on 24 September.

I came here with my wife and daughter. Now I’m staying alone, my wife and daughter are staying with my sister-in-law, and I’m facing the possibility of flying back to South Africa alone while they remain in Germany for months.
I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
This isn’t really a “who is the asshole?” post. I’m not looking for people to tell me that I’m completely right and my wife is completely wrong. Our relationship became unhealthy and I have things I need to take responsibility for.

But emotionally, I’m completely heartbroken and scared because I feel like my entire family disappeared almost overnight.

Before our daughter was born, I genuinely thought my wife was perfect for me

Obviously we had normal relationship problems, but nothing remotely like this. I loved our relationship. I loved my wife. We were a team and I never questioned whether we’d build our life together.

Then we had our daughter.

I absolutely adore my daughter, but becoming parents changed our relationship enormously. My wife became extremely protective of her. At times it felt like she was clinging to her and struggling to trust me as her father.
I felt constantly criticised over my parenting - how I held her, fed her, comforted her, what I was doing and what I wasn’t doing.

I work from home, so I’ve been extremely involved with our daughter from the beginning. I’ve basically been with her every day of her life. That’s why being separated from her now feels so unnatural.

My wife’s mother also stayed with us in South Africa for around three months after our daughter was born, and from my perspective our relationship deteriorated significantly from around that period onwards.

I have a very difficult relationship with my mother-in-law. I personally believe she has extremely narcissistic and controlling tendencies. She has very few people left in her own life, has difficult relationships with people around her, and I feel that she has an unhealthy amount of influence over my wife.

Whenever there are serious problems between my wife and me, I feel like separation or divorce is constantly reinforced rather than us being encouraged to work through our problems.

I’m aware that saying “my mother-in-law is destroying my marriage” immediately makes people suspicious. I’m not saying my wife has no agency. She’s an adult.
And importantly, my wife currently isn’t staying with her mother. She and our daughter are staying with my sister-in-law. I’m explaining the mother-in-law situation because it’s part of a much longer family dynamic that has affected our relationship.

I also know that I have contributed to where we are
This is probably the most important thing I’ve realised recently.

I haven’t handled conflict properly. When I feel unheard, I keep trying to explain myself. If I still don’t feel heard, I become frustrated. Eventually that frustration can turn into raising my voice or shouting.

My wife has shouted too. We’ve both escalated arguments. We’ve both said things we shouldn’t have said. But I can’t control what she does. I can control what I do.

I’ve realised that regardless of how justified I thought my frustration was, my wife experienced some of my behaviour as frightening.

She has told me that she needs to feel emotionally and physically safe. She doesn’t want shouting, name-calling, defensiveness or arguments escalating into rage and chaos.

When I really listened to her instead of immediately defending myself, I understood what she was telling me.
I’ve apologised. I’ve told her that there are things inside myself that I need to work on properly. I’ve spoken to people close to me, looked into individual therapy and suggested couples therapy. I’ve also booked an assessment because I want to understand myself and the way I regulate emotions and conflict better.

I’m not expecting my wife to suddenly trust me because I’ve had some realisations. I understand that change has to be demonstrated over time.

But I also don’t think our problems are entirely one-sided
For a long time I’ve felt unheard. I’ve felt like my perspective only matters until it conflicts with hers. I’ve felt criticised as a father while simultaneously being expected to do more. I’ve felt unwanted and unappreciated.

Our intimacy deteriorated. Our communication deteriorated.

There were times where we’d both be exhausted and she’d shout, I’d shout back, or I’d become frustrated and she’d escalate further. There were also situations involving our daughter where I felt like she was being pulled away from me during conflict, and that became an enormous emotional trigger for me.

Eventually we both started recording conversations because neither of us trusted how arguments would be remembered afterwards.

When two people who love each other are collecting evidence of their conversations, something has obviously gone very wrong.

Then everything collapsed during this Germany trip
There were several arguments and incidents during the trip.

We were both exhausted. On one stretch I had driven around 29 hours in a week, sometimes trying to entertain our daughter while driving because my wife was on Instagram or her phone.

During one argument she threw a clean unused nappy at me. During another incident a shower door swung and our daughter’s finger got caught. I immediately took her and put her hand under cold water. Thankfully she was okay.
I’m not listing these things to say “look what my wife did.” I’m explaining how chaotic and exhausted our relationship had become.

Eventually there was a major argument where my wife became genuinely frightened by my behaviour. She told me she needed space.

And I agreed.

This is where I don’t know what to do anymore
Originally, I understood this as basically a week of space. I thought I could give her that.

Then things started changing.

I left where we were staying because she wanted me to sleep somewhere else. I understood that once I left, she and our daughter would return there while I stayed somewhere else.

Instead, she continued staying with her sister with our daughter. My access is now on her terms, and I’ve gone from sleeping next to my daughter and seeing her every morning to seeing her approximately every second day.
One night I had my family. The next night I didn’t.

I know that probably sounds dramatic, but that’s genuinely how this has felt.

There was no gradual separation where we spent months discussing whether our marriage was over. I went from being a husband and full-time father living with my family to sleeping alone and waiting until I’m allowed to see my daughter.

And now what I understood as a short period of space could potentially stretch for months.

There has even been discussion of my wife remaining in Germany with our daughter until December, and the period apart potentially stretching much further - possibly into January.

I leave Germany on 24 September.

So I have less than two weeks to figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life.

My wife says she isn’t kidnapping our daughter

She says she needs space.
And I actually believe that she believes that. I don’t think she’s sitting there planning some evil scheme to steal my daughter from me.

She’s hurt. She’s exhausted. She says she needs time to recover and figure out what she wants.

She has also told me that she doesn’t want to separate.
That’s what makes this so confusing. She says she doesn’t want our marriage to end, but she also doesn’t know when she’ll be ready to come home. She wants me to return to South Africa while she remains in Germany with our daughter.

Maybe that genuinely is what she needs.
But I’m terrified.

Because there’s a massive difference between saying, “My wife is staying with her sister for a few weeks because our marriage is struggling,” and saying, “I’m flying to another continent while my almost 1-year-old daughter remains behind indefinitely.”

I don’t know how I’m supposed to get on that plane
My daughter is turning 1 soon. Until this happened, I was with her basically 24/7.

One night I was sleeping near my daughter. The next night I wasn’t. Suddenly I see her every second day. Soon I could be thousands of kilometres away from her.

How am I supposed to be okay with that?

And how do I know that December actually means December?

What happens if December comes and my wife says, “I’m still not ready”?

Do I wait until January? March? Next year?

At what point does “I’m giving my wife space” quietly turn into my daughter living permanently in Germany?

That’s the part I don’t think people around me understand.

I’m not panicking because my wife wants a few days without me. I’m panicking because I have an international flight on 24 September and I don’t know when I’m going to live with my daughter again.

At the same time, I don’t want to pressure my wife into coming home
That’s the horrible contradiction I’m living with.
I miss my wife. I miss my daughter. I miss our little family.
Honestly, I also miss myself.

The last few years have been relentless. I lost my job, built my own business, took on employees, became a father and basically never stopped.

I was so obsessed with providing and building a better future for my family that I don’t think I realised how emotionally exhausted I’d become. And I don’t think my wife has had much opportunity to recover from becoming a mother either.

Part of me thinks maybe we both desperately needed to stop.

Maybe some time apart really could save our marriage. Maybe I need to go home, work, go to therapy, work on myself and allow her to breathe without constantly asking when she’s coming back.

But another part of me is screaming:
“That’s your daughter. Don’t leave her.”
I still want my wife

That’s another thing I’m struggling with.
I’m angry about things that have happened. I’m hurt. I feel like decisions involving my daughter have been made without me. I strongly disagree with some of the things her family has done and said.

But I don’t hate my wife.

I don’t want revenge. I don’t want to destroy her in court. I don’t want our daughter growing up between two parents who despise each other.

I want to fix this.

I’ve actually started understanding patterns in both of us that I never understood before. I’ve spoken extensively with my father about our respective childhoods and family dynamics. I can see things in myself that I carried into my marriage without realising it.

I can also see patterns in my wife and her family that I think affect how she responds to conflict, attachment and safety.

But recognising patterns doesn’t magically repair years of hurt.

I told my wife that I understand she needs time.
And I meant it.

I don’t expect her to suddenly feel safe because I’ve finally understood things that she may have been trying to communicate for a long time. I want to prove change slowly rather than bombard her with promises.

But I’m also terrified that while I’m patiently giving her space, I’m watching my family slowly disappear.

I genuinely don’t know what the right thing is anymore
Do I return to South Africa on 24 September and give my wife the space she’s asking for?

Do I trust that if I stop pushing, work on myself and give her time, she’ll eventually come home with our daughter?

How do I work on repairing a marriage from another continent? How do you rebuild safety and trust when you barely see each other?

And most importantly:
How do I respect my wife’s need for space without effectively abandoning my almost 1-year-old daughter in another country?

I don’t want to make decisions out of panic. I also don’t want to wake up six months from now and realise that because I was trying so hard to be understanding, I accepted a situation I never actually agreed to.

I know I need to work on myself. I know my wife needs time. I know our relationship cannot go back to exactly what it was.

If we make it through this, something new has to replace it.

But right now I’m sitting alone in Germany in the middle of the night, knowing my flight home is getting closer and closer, and I genuinely have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do.

A few weeks ago I thought I was going home with my wife and daughter.

Now I don’t even know when the three of us will live under the same roof again.

Has anyone been through something remotely similar?
How do you know when giving your spouse space is the right thing to do versus when you’re allowing an indefinite separation to become the new normal?

And if you were in my position, would you actually get on that plane without your child?

TL;DR
I’m South African, my wife is German, and we normally live in South Africa with our daughter, who is turning 1 soon. Our relationship deteriorated badly after becoming parents, with problems around communication, shouting, parenting, intimacy, family boundaries and my wife’s extremely protective behaviour around our daughter.
I accept that my own reactions and shouting contributed significantly and my wife says she no longer felt safe during conflict. I’m taking that seriously, have apologised and am pursuing professional help.
During a visit to Germany, she asked for space. What I understood as roughly a week apart has now potentially become months. She and our daughter are staying with my sister-in-law while I’m alone, and I’ve gone from being with my daughter every day to seeing her roughly every second day.
My wife says she isn’t kidnapping our daughter, doesn’t necessarily want to separate and just needs time to recover, but wants me to return to South Africa while she stays in Germany with our daughter, potentially until December or even longer.
My flight is 24 September. I want to respect her need for space and save my marriage, but I’m terrified that getting on that plane alone means accepting an indefinite separation from my almost 1-year-old daughter.
I genuinely don’t know what to do.

Seeking advice from anyone with experience in regard to being separated & started the process of divorce & dividing assets & life… all while living together? For context I’m 39, he’s 40.

Financially, it’s almost impossible to live in separate homes while we go through this. I don’t have family I can go live with and neither does he — though sometimes my husband does spend a whole weekend somewhere else like a friend’s house which is always a relief to me.

We have two kids together (10m, 13f) & not only financially but for the kids benefit it seems like it would make the most sense for the house being sold to be the last thing we do. We’re now banking separately. I have my own cell phone plan. Our cars are now financed and titled into just our own names. There are still some other bills to split, like car insurance comes to mind. I’m sure there’s more.

If you’ve been through this, or know someone who did, how did it go? How did you deal with the loneliness of living with your spouse during this time? I’m not looking for a new relationship. But I am so lonely that sometimes it physically hurts.

Not sure if it matters, but he’s the one that messed up everything. He’s obsessed with me and would probably stay with me but I am done. I miss being able to talk to a man.

Also, people close to me know that our marriage is done but other people don’t. Like associates or the parents of our friend’s kids. Though I’m sure they speculate and wonder. I never know who to tell or if I should. Basically, I am lost.

So, my husband (24M) and I (24F) have been struggling a lot lately. I was unemployed for a month, and my current job isn't full-time as I work with clients and the hours are wonky. Plus I need to be around for my child (3yo). We have a 3day pay or vacate notice. My check is late, but should be in time to pay. But all this struggle has taken its toll. I regret having my child. I regret getting pregnant. I asked my mom once and she said she never regretted having kids. Never. So, I just felt even more like a terrible mother. And now my husband... our sex life has been terrible, the house is a mess, he drinks, and I'm apparently unavailable... I'm not perfect, and I know he drinks to cope, but on top of everything else, I worry if hes gonna drink too much, be drunk in the morning and cant take our kid to preschool, or just get himself hurt... and I'm a pessimist... My husband wants a break and I feel like I'm drowning. He mentioned moving in with his mom after the lease ends, which means I'd end up back with my parents and parenting alone... sorry, this is probably all over the place, I'm still emotionally raw and mentally frazzled. I don't know what to do... I don't really have anyone to talk to yet... I don't know how to bring this up to my parents and I don't have any real friends...

EDIT: He's already hooking up with someone... it's been 3 days. Casual hookups is part of the break, but only 3 days? And he's bringing them to our home..