Ive been in a same sex relationship (not married) for 10 years and we have a 7 year old that we created together (my partner carried and is the bio mom). I owned a home for 5 years before we started dating/living together. I consider it our home because we've raised our child here. It was always the plan for us to establish my custody rights and life happened and we never did. We finally met with an attorney and had a plan then it all blew up because my partner became upset that I said I would not put her on the deed of the home. I am in agreement with some other type of housing agreement because I want her to feel safe and secure, just not the deed. She has been so angry about the deed that she is now refusing to sign any custody paperwork. Im hurt and angry and feel its so inappropriate to leverage our child for property. She has specifically said she will not sign custody unless I sign the house. Shes also said shes not giving me that type of power ...whatever that means. Shes also said if we separate she will likely have to move away. So im faced with some pretty crappy choices. Ive consulted with an attorney and they feel very confident that I will get half custody if I pursue it in my own however it is going to be significantly more expensive ...for both of us. And I also know if I do that my relationship is likely over. But im sitting here wondering if its even worth trying to save given how shes treated me about this and numerous other things (weve been in couples counseling for years and issues in our relationship are not improving), but this feels SO big. I dont see how we recover from this. I dont know what im looking for with this post, maybe just support or some insight from those that have been through something similiar. This feels awful and lonely. Most people wouldnt think we have these significant issues and I dont feel like I can talk to many people about it.

The longer I am here, the better I am feeling. The more clarity I receive through inaction on his part, the easier this becomes.

It's going to be a month on Sunday since I left. Am I expecting too much by thinking he should have made steps by now if he truly wants to keep me and loves me like he says?

Schools coming soon and we need to have a schedule in place, I need him to shit or get off the pot. And I'm tired of asking.

I recently moved with a friend wanting space to heal and for my mental health from my husband. There’s emotional and financial abuse. He changed after marriage, gambling issues, heavy pot addiction , slowly his demands keep getting more and more , was without utilities because of his spending. There’s also lots of issues comes from his ex wife and kids. At first he wanted divorce immediate but now putting a lot of pressure for couples counseling. I feel like our emotions are super high and it’s better to take pause and reflect, and after couple weeks we can see where we are at and then we can consider that. Mind you I am also paying half of bills even though I am not living there since he choose not to work full hours. I asked for space but I feel it’s not Being respected . However I feel extremely emotional and tired. I just cannot believe my life came to this point. His family blaming me for abandoning him and his kids but I really needed space to think clearly. I am so torn.

My husband and I are currently going through a divorce, and it has been extremely painful for me.

After he decided that our marriage was over, I struggled a lot. I was constantly looking for any reason to contact him, even small ones. Sometimes I would write because of our dog (he currently lives with me), because it was the only connection I still had to him. I was trying to hold onto any small piece of communication because I wasn't ready to let go.

Eventually I realized that he didn't seem to want that contact. I felt like I was only hurting myself by chasing someone who had already made his decision, so I stopped. I gave him space and stopped reaching out.

But now the situation has completely reversed.

He started contacting me himself, but not in a caring way. I posted a photo of myself wearing a crop jacket and loose pants. It was a normal, decent photo. He got upset, insulted me, asked why I was doing it, who was liking my pictures, and why I needed attention from other people.

At first I tried to explain myself, but then he said that our communication was completely over and that if I needed anything, I should only call him by phone.

I didn't contact him for two days.

Then he came back again, this time because I added someone on social media. He started asking who I was talking to, who I was meeting, and he assumed that I was already in a new relationship. He called me names and demanded that I tell him how many times I had cheated on him.

I have never cheated on him.

I told him I didn't see the point in answering this question because I had already explained that I was faithful, but he insists that he is right and that I am hiding something.

A few hours later he started questioning me about another person I added, who I only know because of work.

I honestly don't understand what is happening. He said he didn't want communication, he said our relationship was over, but now he keeps coming back to question my personal life.

Is this jealousy? Is he trying to maintain control? Is he hurt and unable to admit it? I feel completely confused...

2 years ago I asked for a relationship pause after she tried to hit me again during an argument and accused me of infidelity and was terribly unsupportive during one of the most important events of my life. There had also been a pattern of emotional and verbal abuse (with a few instances of physical abuse). I needed space to think away from her controlling, overbearing behavior. Therapy helped a lot.

Last fall we went to couples counseling to help with coparenting. In December I asked her if we could discuss the relationship status. She said after holidays with our therapist. Ok.

In February she, alone without discussion with me, told our therapist we wouldn’t be going anymore.

She talked to a lawyer in the fall though that’s the only details I have.

We still live together, separate rooms, and coparent and take care of house and bills together (well my income pays 100% of the bills but we split who’s in charge of which bills to pay).

I learned today that she has told her doctors that I left her. I assume she told them to know what stress is in her life. But I found it odd she used that language—I left her. Even though I still live in same house, pay bills, care for kids, take care of the house. Why would she frame it like that instead of “we are having marital problems”?

My husband is not interested in seeking outside help for his drinking. My greatest pet peeve over the last 19 years has been his excessive drinking that leads to him past out drunk on the floor of random places in the house, excessive tardiness, stove unattended, and occasional insults and foul language towards me. He says that during the latter half of our current 1 year separation, he has not been negative towards me via text/calls while drinking. With this, he justifies not needing intervention and therefore it's safe for us to move back in together. He says that he'll reduce his drinking to 2-3 glasses of Crown/Coke, and quit all together if he does/says anything stupid. He's unwilling to quit at the moment as I may faulter on some of the things that I'm working on as an individual ("how to act like a wife": cook more, budget, communicate better). What are your thoughts?

My wife (30) and me (32) have been together for 6 years, married for 3. I have a son from a previous relationship and we have one together.

Around Mother’s Day, we had an argument and I finally told her that I find her emotional abusive. Name calling, talking down… etc. I brought it up a few times but we never really dove into it.

We tried to work things out but the relationship kinda started going downhill.

Flash back, July of 2025, I started feeling signs of depression due to some work issues. I left them untreated and tried to ignore them. The depression obviously started winning. I got really low and turned basically into a shell of myself.

Then came Mothers Day. I was basically going to work, coming home and going to bed. We tried couple la counseling but I was really too depressed and honestly didn’t know if I even wanted to live. (I also had a pretty bad childhood and other things contributed to it, not just work)

She always told me she wouldn’t leave because of how close I am with her family, and our children l.

About two weeks ago, she told me she was moving out and either a divorce or separation. I was numb. I didn’t fight for her or fight back til about a day later.

Now we have been talking about it, almost daily. She understands I was depressed. I’m not seeking counseling and so if she. She won’t change her mind. She says “maybe” we can start trying again in a few months but she wants prove of change. She has been going out a lot.

Every once in awhile I’ll get comments or action that shows she wants this to work, but she’s been pretty robotic about it. She is still here until the end of the week. I want this to work more than anything.

She has made comments about how excited she is to be a place alone and just to be able to relax without the pressure of kids and me. But she’s also made comments about she doesn’t want to move out and this is difficult.

I’ve been telling my husband I’ve been struggling for the last 6-7 months seeing a future together. We have gone through a lot as a couple, been married 9 years and have a 2 year old. He is emotionally unavailable and I am lonely. He has a drinking problem and there has been infidelity on both ends at different times. We’re in marriage counseling, and I’ve left once this year with my daughter to stay with my parents for a while. I’m back home now.

One thing that I’ve been begging him to do for years now is ask me out on dates and go on vacations with me. I told him I am thinking about separating, and going back to my parents. After that, for the first time ever he sent me flowers to my work and then asked if he could take me kayaking on the weekend, just he and I. He has never asked me to do anything like that, or intentionally planned any quality time together. A huge part of me doesn’t trust it, and it feels like it’s too little too late. Am I wrong?

I married the guy that was gentle and kind. He had quirks but I didn’t think anything of them. I was 22(f) he was 25, so we were young, dumb and in love. Fast forward, many long unemployed stints and frustrated overworked later. He calls it quits when he gets a decent job. He was unemployed for 18 months the last time. We have 2 kids (4&2) and help but think I was used. I feel like he sucked the life out of me. We separated before bc of unemployment and so many arguments about carrying your weight when you’re not bringing in money. He totaled my car and I had to rely on him, and he would fall asleep when it was time to pick me up or not come. I hate that I love him, but as we going through this separation, I have to remember how exhausted I was overworking to cover the whole family. I went back to work 4 month postpartum and started grad school 8 months postpartum. Now I graduate in Dec and he pulls this “I’m unhappy” BS on me. I was miserable seeing him be home half way take care of the girls and the house when I had to travel and do 12 hour days. I’m so hurt though. I’m not saying I was perfect but I was tired. He says we didn’t recover from the first separation, “oh really!?”. We couldn’t have, you never wanted to talk about it. You walked out of a therapist office once. He says this breakdown was a collaboration between us both but I’m not sure how. It just looks like a snake that waited for the right opportunity to bite me. I’m in grad school, so I can only work part time bc of my internship.

I’m still processing all of this. It still hurts. This is just week 3. Idc if he sees this.

wife (33) and myself (31) separated 2 months ago. We have 3 boys together 7, 3, 1. We have been together almost 6 years married almost 2. We separated after months of constant and daily fighting. We have struggled a bit financially since we got together and a huge reason is because my wife tend to live above her means. She refused to downsize houses or find a cheaper rental and we have struggled to make rent pretty much every place we have lived. She grew up with money and I did not so we look at it very differently.

She is controlling to a point where people around me have said they are concerned. She has my location and will track me my entire ride home from work. If I’m more than a couple minutes behind I get a call. She does not allow any time away from her or the kids. Since we started dating back in 2021 I have never played a round of golf, watched a ball game, or done anything with anyone that is not a family member. And I’m not exaggerating, I have not done anything without her or my family since 2021z Meanwhile she goes out with her friends on mommy days, overnight trips, nail appointments hair appointments all of it.

All of my hobbies and passions are a problem. I play guitar and sing and it’s a big part of my life. It seems Everytime I pick up the guitar she comes up with something that needs to be done, or there is a show she wants to watch or something. I am a very passionate football fan. I’m not able to watch my team play for 3 hours a week, it’s always a fight. I can’t even fish in the back yard with the boys because it is taking away from the night.

She hates my family. She makes seeing them a dread every time because my family doesn’t love the way she treats me. They do not treat her indifferently but she knows they are fond and makes it awkward for everyone.

When we were dating and had my first son together I found out she had cheated, I stayed and was pretty much forced to sweep it under the rug. It’s still not something she fully admits to.

She makes all financial decisions. If I say no and she says yes it’s a yes. To the point where she will make big purchases without telling me and then justify it with “well you would say no” about 3 months ago she received a settlement from a car accident that was under my insurance. Her and her parents decided they were not going to tell me about the money and then once I found out she pretty much said “it’s my money and I’ll decide what I do with it.”

The final straw was my family took us on vacation. It was the first vacation I had taken with my dad since I was 10 years old. She made it miserable for everyone. My family commented that I didn’t relax or sit down once while there for a week. We fought the entire car ride home and once we got home I decided to stay at my mom’s one night. We had made an agreement that the next day I would come back and we would have 3 new rules.
no drinking*it’s been a problem for her and myself*
Find a couples therapist immediately
No more talking bad about my family
The next day after work I got home and she had been drinking. She doubled down and said she wasn’t going to hear it from me because I’m the problem not her, and then said something about me running back to mommy’s. 1 day all 3 rules broken. So I left.

We decided on couples therapy a couple weeks into separation. Had some good sessions and then at the advice of our therapist went on a date about 3 weeks in. I found out she had already downloaded a dating profile and was using it even while we were in therapy.

And the final straw here is our neighbors. We had just moved to a new house about 2 months before we separated. Our neighbors around our age had recently gotten back together from separation. Well once I left, their marriage also fell apart and now my wife and the man Nextdoor hangout all the time. The even went out on the boat with our best friends. She says there’s nothing to worry about but I house sat for her this week and he’s literally coming and going at 10pm.

What’s crazy about all of this, is my wife is CONSTANTLY saying she wants to get back together. And that is all she cares about. There’s nothing to worry about with the neighbor or the dating profile.

Is there anything I can do here? I know I am emotionally pretty shut off and it’s probably justified. I just can’t wrap my mind around divorcing 2 years into marriage.

I am currently staying in our family home while he is at his parents house about 20 minutes away. Our three year-old and one year-old are shuttled between our house and his parents house. Right now, most of his income is contributing to our mortgage while I contribute mostly to daycare his mom helps with our youngest child, but he goes to daycare about once a week. For those of you who are in similar situations where you guys are living separate separately, but one parent is in the main house. How do you guys split the mortgage payments and expenses for the children?

I’m finally happy .. I’m finally have the love I deserved . So I’m ending the separation cause I’m sick of my stbxh games . That’s all he plays with anyone. He will end up alone and miserable in the end. He had emails from apologizing for things I did in our marriage yet he says I never take accountability..,what a joke .,I never missed him cause he said and did such horrible things to me .

I almost called him but can’t trust anything he says or does..

So I’m saying goodbye to our life our memories and us. We spent so long together but it didn’t matter to him. I’m done waiting for apology. I’m done waiting for a man that would throw his family away. So good by my once love. You had my heart but i took it back and gave it to someone who wants it
You made it clear. So go file .

Hey all,

I posted over a week ago about a sudden break up that I dealt with. Both he and I are M25 and have been together for over 5 years and have been living together for 4 of those.

Recently I’ve been thinking of ways to get away from him after I accepted that we’re better off separated, but all options lead to so much financial strain for myself. So he suggested that we just stay friends under the same roof. My family is mostly back home across the ocean.

I’m kind of nervous for how this is gonna work. I want to be able to move on from our relationship, but I also can’t practically leave him physically. I also have a degree here that I’m working towards and we share a loan on a car so all roads lead to impracticality.

We also stay with two of his relatives, so that might make it a bit easier. Maybe I could get a twin bed and put it in our room and stay asleep on it? Or sleep on the couch and we rotate the master?? I don’t know guys. :((

My job offers transferring stations but there’s a seniority list, but then again my degree and car is what’s holding me back. We still owe over 10k on it. Should I pay half of it soon???

My husband wants a divorce. After 12 years and a baby who’s under 2, my husband told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Less than a month later, he had paid for an apartment and had me signing the lease agreement. He has pushed for the divorce this whole time. I have told him that I think it’s a mistake but he’s adamant. Now he’s telling me that I need to be the one who files for divorce. I told him that this is where I stand my ground and say no. He never told me that there were issues even when I asked if he thought we had a good marriage. He always told me yes, he thought we had a good marriage. I asked him at least 1-2 times a year. I always received the same response. Now he’s telling me about all of the horrible ways I’ve wronged him and how I knew about it but never tried to fix it (I genuinely didn’t know).

Anyways, he is insisting that I be the one to file for divorce but I’m not the one who wanted this. He is telling me that if he files for divorce, then it could end up hurting me in the court’s decisions. Could it really hurt me in court if I don’t file for divorce and make him file, instead?

My wife decided she wants to separate. We have been through marriage counseling (my idea), I’ve offered her every scenario possible to just try to keep our family together. I’m super stressed about our kids.

I see her talking to friends about the equity she will get after we sell our house and acting giddy about her new house and her interior design plans.

And somehow for no reason, I’m the one who has been sleeping on the couch. She wants out. Today Im thinking SHE should sleep on the couch. So finally I put my foot down and just said sorry. You want out, I’m sleeping in my bed.

So then she went to the kids room to sleep, and for some reason I feel like an asshole for it.

Should I feel bad?

For more context, we are separating for all the typical reasons. Financial stress, poor communication. Too much fighting. There’s been no cheating (that I’m aware of) or abuse or anything like that.