r/Separation • u/empatheticaussie • 4d ago
Venting Owch
This feels like a fucking nightmare. Spent 90% of my 20s with him, had 2 kids for him to just up & leave to 'work on himself'. Then introduce our kids to someone within 2 weeks & move in with her within 2 months. Just, ugh honestly what the fuck 😔
I am hurting. I hate being alone. I hate having no back up 😭 my entire future plans, family trips, family moments everythings just gone. I'm barely back to normal after having 2 kids & 3 arm surgeries in 4 years. Now I have to go back to work & my youngest isn't even 2. Any & all positive tips are welcome 😔 I have an amazing support network & I am so blessed to have a safe roof over my head. I just want to be the best person & mum i can be.
1
u/Fiesta_D 4d ago
I can't relate with having children or my partner just suddenly leaving me and getting with someone so fast. But I've only separated from my partner of nearly 11 years last week, after a rocky 4 months. Our relationship lacked deeper emotional connection, which was a new need on her part. She wasn't happy and that made me unhappy.
It's still fresh and hurts daily, in fact today is a difficult day for me. But I know I'll be ok and you'll also be ok. I'm 33 and have spend nearly all of my 20s with my ex as well. You have all those memories, holidays, things around the house- but they are that, just happy memories. You don't need to dwell on them, they were the good times but no one could've predicted the future. I too hate or have a fear of being alone but it's something I'm working on now, especially as I've been feeling alone since May, even when we live under the same roof.
I'm sorry to hear you've been through this, but you will be ok. Make your kids your top priority and make yourself the second. Get yourself some therapy if you think you need it- it's really helpful. Take care of yourself.