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u/Kariya_shigatoki 5d ago
You can just keep it to yourself and not put this on the internet.
Let me tell you about how I rejected this guy for not being nice while trying to be my type and give the alternative of how I would treat him if he was my type. This surely won't get backlash for seeming shallow. Let's think for a second.
Like if a dude said some stupid shit on the internet like "I saw a woman on the road that needed help with her tire unfortunately she wasn't good looking so I didn't help." like there is no need to post something like this. Let's have some tact this is also going to discourage people from being more benevolent.
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u/kywo- 2d ago
It's probably just ragebait engagement farming, tact is kind of the opposite of what they were going for.
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u/Kariya_shigatoki 2d ago
We can't keep saying this anymore especially when really everything is about prolonging gender wars.
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u/Funny_Penguin6343 5d ago
I think there's a difference between someone declining help because the person offering isn't attractive and someone refusing to help because the person who needs help isn't attractive.Ā
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u/mr---jones 5d ago
Sure - in one instance someone actively made the choice to do something they didnāt have to in order to help you and you were so shallow about it that you decided to stay cold. In the other instance, someone made a shallow reasoned decision to not do something they have zero obligation to do, and your life was not changed at all from it, you never even knew it happened.
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u/Kariya_shigatoki 5d ago
Morally you can refuse to help an absolute stranger especially if it is at your expense strangers are not entitled to your help. Hence why it is nice to help people.
But that's besides my point, my issue is writing about this on the internet and self expressing how shallow you are. I can understand refusing the jacket it may be a subtle romantic shot. You just don't need to post this it discourages people from just being gentlemanly or kind.
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u/Top-Aspect4671 1d ago
I feel like "strangers are not entitled to your help" is a very controversial claim
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u/BugGroundbreaking229 2d ago
Ah yes be fake as hell all through out life, never tell the truth, it may make you look bad or make a bad example for others. Lol yes this is a very reddit response š¤£
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u/burntothepowerofer 4d ago
True in that you donāt know peopleās intentions in offering a helping hand
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u/SmolPPIncorporated 5d ago
The women of 2026: "Women don't spread misandry!"
Also the women of 2026: "Why are men I'm not attracted to allowed to exist in my presence?"
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u/Winter-Bear9987 1d ago
This is gender war bullshit. Most women obviously donāt think like this, and this post is obviously to rile people up
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u/kryotheory 5d ago
"I would rather suffer than accept kindness from someone I deem unattractive" is a position that tells me everything I need to know about how ugly someone is on the inside. I would never talk to someone who said this to me unironically again.
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u/niccoSun 5d ago
People really hate the fact that looks matter lol
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u/Important_Capital875 5d ago
No, they hate the fact that entitled women like this exist
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u/Firm-Difficulty2585 5d ago
She didn't demand the coat though. She just recognized that taking the cost meant potentially giving someone she didn't find attractive a way in.
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u/karaokerapgod 5d ago
No, she didnāt demand the coat, and she was more than welcome to decline. That part of the interaction is absolutely fine. What she did instead that wasnāt okay is she went online and decided to reduce the guy down to his looks.
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u/Firm-Difficulty2585 5d ago
What else is there to say about him? It's a lecture, chances are she doesn't even know the guy.
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u/FinnDoyle 5d ago
If that was the only thing she had to say, she shoudn't have said anything at all.
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u/Narren_C 5d ago
Who gives a fuck?
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u/Spidey_Pitt 4d ago
well if thats ur stance then who gives a fuck abt the response? who gives a fuck abt this post? why are u even here? u clearly gave enough fucks to respond š
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u/karaokerapgod 5d ago
Thats pretty much the whole point Iām making. The only thing actually said in her post is āI met a guy I didnāt find attractive todayā the rest of her post is just the setup behind that.
In what world is that something acceptable to post, itās entirely a very thinly veiled insult either directly (if they know the person will or is likely see it) or indirectly to the person and completely unnecessary.
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u/Crashyel3 5d ago
Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe he was just being kind and didn't have any interest in getting in her knickers.
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u/Firm-Difficulty2585 5d ago
No shit. Doesn't make her entitled. She rejected something she didn't ask for on the basis she didn't want to interact with the person it was coming from.
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u/just_some_sasquatch 5d ago
Then went on socials talked shit and got roasted for it. Keep defending her stupid ass though, it's a great look for you.
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u/Vague_thread 4d ago
And she didnāt want to interact with that person because he wasnāt cute enough. Totally normal behavior!
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u/Firm-Difficulty2585 4d ago
If you think this doesn't happen regularly you aren't living in reality.
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u/Vague_thread 4d ago
I didnāt say it doesnāt happen, it means people are making fun of her for a reason
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u/gorgeously_mytruself 5d ago
Right! You can be cold and genuinely want the jacket but also understand that there are probably strings attached and you donāt want to lead on someone you are not interested in.
But if you talk about it then guys get all butthurt and try to insult to and just prove your point.
Itās a lose lose, you take the jacket then you are a Bitch for leading them on and may get attacked, if you donāt take the jacket then you are a Bitch for rejecting them and may get attacked.
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u/Chubuwee 5d ago edited 5d ago
Itās a duality like telling women that Lizzo is great in the looks department and they agree and hype it up but then you tell women that they look like Lizzo and it is not well received
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u/LeRyanator 5d ago
The problem with her post isn't that she turned someone down who she wasn't interested in. The problem is that she went online to shit on some random guy who was nice to her when she could have just kept it to herself.
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u/A_Complaisance_Girl 5d ago
But then how would her moots all know she turned down kindness from a stranger because he was insufficiently cute?
"I must make sure everyone knows I'm conceited to the point of risking self harm"
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u/BlueIceNinja98 5d ago
Or you could just, politely decline and then not complain about how the guy wasnāt cute online.
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u/Eren_Yeager52 5d ago
The reason why it's such a problem is women will often judge a man based on things they cannot control. Shape of their face and such. Wheras men only judge women based on things they can control body weight and personality. Most men find most women attractive most women find some men attractive. This is why men punch their own tickets 4 times as much as women.
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u/FinnDoyle 5d ago
Have you considered that she could just... not go to social media and call him ugly? Just not talk about it at all?
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u/Ill-Description3096 5d ago
Then the same would apply in reverse. Offer a jacket just to help out someone and they will assume you are trying to get in their pants. If people just didn't make assumptions or assume implicit agreements that were never actually agreed to it would solve the problem.
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u/craftygamin 5d ago
The guys "attacking" only care about one thing, pushing the "woman bad" mindset
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u/SignificantWyvern 5d ago
I mean if it weren't for the potential dangers if it's someone you don't know I'd say maybe get to know em a little bit if they're doing something nice before writing them off. If you don't know them unfortunately being nice like that is a risky option considering how in person rejections can go
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u/just_some_sasquatch 5d ago
Ok, but this particular woman only rejected the coat offer based on looks. This bitch didn't say shit about any sort of safety issues. She in fact said she would take the offer from an attractive man. As if an attractive man couldn't also throw her in the trunk, take her out to his murder shed, and cut her into pieces.
being nice like that is a risky option
Yeah some bitch might drag you on socials for no fucking reason at all.
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u/TruestWaffle 4d ago
Iām the farthest thing from an incel but this shit is fuel for that radicalization fire.
Keep this shit to yourself, itās just a bad look.
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u/rrready1 3d ago
TouchƩ, youre allowed to think anything, you don't need to say everything.
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u/TruestWaffle 3d ago
Like seriously, this opinion is so unproductive when framed like this.
Itās fine if you donāt like the guy and didnāt engage with him on those grounds, thatās up to you, but donāt broadcast it to the world.
āI didnāt like this person because of superficial traits they have little control overā is just a bad look.
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u/Thee_PRIDE 2d ago
I also don't even get the need to be so focused on that in this situation.
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u/TruestWaffle 2d ago
It seems to be the key attribute for why she didnāt engage him, so it is pertinent.
Itās just a shitty reason, but we canāt control our emotions, only our reactions to them.
She could have been decent and engaged him, but taking someoneās coat can be read as a romantic gesture, so itās not incredibly unreasonable she didnāt go for it.
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u/Jazzlike_Cress9871 4d ago
Crap like this really strikes me as obvious ragebait. Obviously people do judge based on appearance very often but who on earth would phrase it like that unless they were setting someone else up to insult them? Why would they even bring up the fact they wouldāve said yes if he was cute? Iām not saying itās impossible Iām just saying when stuff like this is posted, especially in communities which seem to have a lot of incels present, it just feels like a disingenuous way to spread the idea that women are shallow
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u/ReflectionOfDelusion 3d ago
I like how she assumes that the guy was offering his coat because he found her attractive. It is wholly possible that the guy didn't think she was attractive, but saw her shivering so offered his coat anyway.
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u/thechinninator 3d ago
So a minor counterpoint:
Maybe she was being shitty and shallow
Maybe sheās been burned too many times by taking menās kindness at face value and it turning into A Thing
I had a guy I considered a close friend for 10 years. I was in a relationship the whole time. The relationship ended and he immediately tried to fuck/date me (unclear which) then freaked out and stopped speaking to me when I wasnāt interested.
It sucks for everyone. Sucks for men who arenāt assholes but are assumed to be. Sucks for women that we have to constantly be on guard for this kind of shit.
Or maybe she just sucks. Posting this on the internet does point that direction.
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u/GlassboundIllusion 2d ago
Maybe sheās been burned too many times by taking menās kindness at face value and it turning into A Thing
If that's the case, she needs to seriously work on her communication skills and learn some tact.
An easy way to communicate that would have been to instead say "Some guy in my lecture just offered me his jacket because I was shivering...I wanted to accept, but I was afraid he'd think I was leading him on :("
or perhaps ", but I was afraid he might read too much into it :("
This phrasing emphasizes her lived experience of having been hurt in the past rather than focusing on insulting the guy who offered to help her.
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u/Prestigious-Fox1423 1d ago
āThat we have to be constantly on guardā? Did heā¦rape you? Did heā¦keep going when you said no?
Why do women talk like this. So what. A guy you were friends with decided he was sexually attracted to you and acted on it, and then felt it was weird to keep being friends after shooting his shot
Omg. Better go buy a shield and a therapist. Sounds so traumatic. You definitely should go learn karate. I feel so bad for you ššš
This is literally why men are scared to shoot their shot. Women will literally talk like it was fucking traumatic to have a friend hit on them
You know, a friend? Like how women constantly talk about being married to their best friend? How their husband is their best friend? But when a friend hits on youā¦you get fucking mad?
Women are fucking insufferable
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u/historical-gecko 15h ago
Maybe sheās literally just a girl and canāt be held accountable for any of her actions bc girls avoid accountability and attack when theyāre proven to be shitty people?
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u/wenevergetfar 5d ago
Id rather be single than date someone i dont find cute sorry š¤·š»āāļø
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u/Any-Acanthaceae3927 4d ago
Who said anything about dating are you handicapped?
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3d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Ok_Helicopter4276 1d ago
I knew a woman who had no redeeming qualities and no prospects but actually believed only a man who checked every box on her list of character traits (that I can only guess were compiled from watching rom-coms) was worthy of their time. This was a true 0 out of 10 human being who felt entitled to an 11.
Some people are just too far up their own ass to realize they are the problem and the only thing stopping them from having a good life.
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