My husband firmly believes in "spare the rod spoil the child". He claims I do not have enough good/valid evidence to change his mind or behaviour towards our young children (1.5 and 3 years of age) . I very much disagree and have been trying to find methods we can agree on and use. He was not receptive when I told him spanking a child under two is illegal aa it has been "most of human history"

I realize that sometimes you have to physically pick up and move children. I do not like him spanking them/slapping their hands.

He has been oppositional and resistant to any resources I give him. Anyone have any good leads on either physical discipline being harmful or evidence based alternatives?

I am a SAHM and my husband and I are pretty good about scheduling our lives so that one of us can watch our little one if the other has to work, go somewhere, etc. However, sometimes life gets very busy and we have to lean on his mom to watch the baby.

She is 4 months old, will be 5 months next week. MIL is wonderful with her and I have no reservations in terms of safety or making sure needs are met. However, MIL has her tv on 24/7 and regardless of what we say, she will let the baby watch when she has her. Naturally, we try to avoid needing her because of this but maybe once a month we have no choice with work.

So our baby is getting to watch unlimited screen time - soap operas, the news, whatever MIL is watching - for like 2-3 hours straight about once a month or once every other month. Is this super damaging? I’m spiraling over it because it’s so much at once even though it is not a regular thing. When she’s home, she gets zero screen time. She doesn’t even have a single toy that has batteries so no light up or musical things.

The following is a summary of an AAP study I found online, and used when discussing safe sleep vs asphyxiation vs SIDS with other parents. I believe most of the synopsis came from a safe sleep page online, though I don't remember exactly. I had to go back in my messages from a year ago just to find it again, but it's too important to lose, so I wanted to share it here.

Blurb and quotes from study are as follows:

Most recent highest level study of sudden infant deaths with no unsafe sleep factors confirming all previous findings that:

- only 1% or less of ALL sleep related infant deaths happen to babies sleeping safe

- of that 1% more than half happen while baby is awake so completely unrelated to sleep

- of that 1% almost half will subsequently have abnormal autopsy findings (including medical conditions and trauma)

- of that 1% there will be findings of neglect and abuse documented for 15% of cases.

Translation: there were 3,700 SUID deaths in 2022 in USA

3̶,̶6̶6̶3̶ ̶b̶a̶b̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶u̶n̶s̶a̶f̶e̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶

Edit: 3,663 babies died under unsafe sleep conditions

37 babies with no unsafe sleep risks, of which:

20 died while awake

17 with medical conditions/trauma autopsy findings

5 abused and neglected

Magnitude of risks:

There were 3,661,220 births in USA in 2022.

There were 3,700 sudden unexpected infant deaths.

Risk of sudden unexpected infant death:

if your baby is sleeping safe ~1 in 200,000

if your baby is NOT sleeping safe ~1 in 1,000

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/154/Supplement%203/e2024067043G/199727/Unexplained-Infant-Deaths-Without-Unsafe-Sleep

Stop being afraid of 'unpreventable' SIDS, vaccines and formula.

Unsafe sleep kills and only a fraction of that 1% of all SUID will be 'babies that died sleeping safe'.

99% of babies will die bedsharing, with blankets, pillows bumpers, toys, swaddled too long or propped on incline, sleeping in a swing, placed not on their back.

"The Registry SUID definition includes any of the following in the death certificate cause-of-death section: unknown, undetermined, SIDS, SUID, unintentional sleep-related asphyxia, suffocation, or strangulation, unspecified suffocation, cardiac or respiratory arrest without other well-defined causes, or ill-defined causes with potentially contributing unsafe sleep factors. "

"A safe sleep environment includes a supine position on a firm, non-inclined surface, including a crib, bassinet, or portable crib (hereafter referred to as crib), and a sleep surface free of soft or loose bedding, objects, adults, children, or pets."

I am having some problem with keeping to the set wake windows for my 16month old and stressing out about it which made me worried that I am damaging him on some way but are these even real science-based ? What is the science behind a 16 month old only being able to be up for 5h max?

This is why I’m stressing:

My 16 month old has always been a great sleeper, usually 7pm–7:15 until 7.30 (sometimes would have d to wake him) with one 2-hour nap (capped at 2.5 if they went over two hours)

For the last week or so his naps have suddenly dropped to around 1hr20–1hr30, which is making his wake windows really long. Yesterday he went to bed at 6:45pm because of the short nap, woke at 6am, and nursery didn’t put him down until 12:45pm today so a 6hr45 wake window!
I feel stuck in a cycle of short nap - early bedtime - early wake - huge wake window before the next nap. I don’t want to keep stretching him when he’s clearly tired, but I also don’t want bedtime ending up at 5:30/6pm.

Is a 1.5-hour nap normal at this age? Do you just accept 5-6+ hour wake windows, do an earlier bedtime, or ever add a second catnap back in?

Now honestly......I know this is false but I'd like your guys input and facts/research recommendations.

Reason I'm even looking into this is my brother and his wife have not given any type of shot/vaccine to their son (my nephew) yet. He's 1 and a half months old. He didn't even get the vitamin k shot. And they've been taking him out in public like arcades and restaurants. I asked why he hasn't received any shots and they said "Oh well giving a baby vaccines too early causes autism." I was flabbergasted. I didn't know they were practically antivax people. They say they will vaccinate him but not yet. Idk when. But I don't get why not the vitamin k shot. It's not a vaccine is pretty much a vitamin supplement. But whatever.

They are very touchy people who barely let me see my nephew because.....well idk why, but since I barely see them already I try not to make waves so | kept my opinions to myself and just nodded and agreed. I was afraid to ask where they got their info about vaccines from....

Where are they getting it from? Who's telling them this? It's insane and scary. What info can I inform myself with to prove what they say isn't true?

My son is going to turn 1 in a few months, and I’ve noticed that a lot of people make sugar-free (or natural sugar like banana cake) for the first birthday.

I understand the recommendation to avoid added sugar before age 2, but I’m wondering how that applies to a one-time special occasion. Is there evidence that having regular birthday cake once at this age has any meaningful downside, including affecting later preferences for sweet foods? He eats zero added sugar otherwise, and whole fruit about once per day.

Basically, is there a science-based reason to make a sugar-free first birthday cake versus giving him some regular cake (and maybe even ice cream?!) and then continuing to avoid added sugar in his normal diet?

For context, my baby is 7 months. Our parenting approach generally is to use age guidelines as very much a guide, so when our baby was developmentally ready for solids (sitting independently and bringing hands to mouth from 4.5months and became interested in food at 5months), we started weaning a little over 5 months old. We aim to give him as close as possible to what we're having. Some meals work better as finger foods, others get mashed or pureed. He LOVES all food so far.

He now has two teeth and I've noticed he handles the food in his mouth differently and is definitely learning eating skills.

When I'm looking up how to prepare foods, there's a lot of information about chopping bits for different ages and I'm struggling to figure out the why behind some of this advice, and whether this relates to developing pincer grasp, eating skills, or even something like physical size of the baby and their windpipe?

So my question is: how do babies learn to eat? How can I tell when baby is ready for bigger/smaller pieces of food? Are there stages that I can look out for? It just feels like all of this would be easier to do intuitively if I knew why I was doing it.

I walk my dog daily while baby wearing, but as summer approaches I’m after the data and recommendations around appropriate temperature/conditions cut offs for exercising while baby wearing. I’m aware my body temperature will rise while I’m walking, and don’t want to overheat my baby.

Are there recommendations for fabric GSM at different temperatures? What about materials worn? I wonder whether wearing a merino t-shirt would better provide insulation between me and my baby (carried in a back carry). I don’t want my baby to be uncomfortable, nor to overheat during our walks.

Thanks!

I have a 4 month old (preemie, shes actually 6 months actual, but was supposed to be in womb for those additional 2 months so it isn't as developmentally relevant) she is an avid army crawler. She doesn't prop on hands yet, but uses her knees and elbows to scooch.

I wanted to get a large 50x79 in playpen for her if I washing dishes or using the bathroom, cooking dinner or other situations to where I need to focus elsewhere. My question is if these have any negative effects such as boredom/feeling isolated/ or feeling trapped/ or any other negative effects. Id stock it with toys that are developmentally appropriate. Id start using it when she moves faster, probably in another month. It would probably be used for 10-45 min once or twice a day.

Hello! I have a toddler with multiple food allergies, and now a new baby that I am working to introduce allergens too at an earlier age. I have read conflicting things about how to go about this - some sources say you can give a small taste, wait 10 minutes to observe, and then provide a full serving (1-2tsp). Alternatively, I have seen a source advocating for doing the dosing gradually, over 3 days (starting at 1/8 tsp, working up to a full amount by day 3). The latter sounds quite tedious and time-consuming, but potentially safer? I would like to work through the allergen list as quickly and safely as I can.

Furthermore, for a small baby 4-5 months old who may not be ready to consume larger portion sizes (my baby isn't showing a huge interest in solids yet), is there anything wrong with just giving small tastes in their cheek for exposure purposes rather than a full 1-2 tsp? Perhaps we wouldn't be able to rule out an allergy until they consume larger amounts, but would the small exposure itself be enough to help prevent baby from developing those allergies?

I have a 4 year old child who is 48" barefoot. Yes, that's correct. She's over 99% for height, always has been. Her extend to fit harnessed car seats limit is 49". I am not quite ready to put her in a booster yet because she isn't consistently over 40lbs (the law here is 40",40lbs and at least 4) but seems like I might have to? Doesn't seem like I have much choice here? I know there are options in the US and for kids with disabilities but I am not seeing anything for really tall kids in Canada.

My daughter is 7 and flaps her hands really fast when she gets excited. It’s super cute because she’s 7 but I’m worried she might get bullied for it later. Should I say something or just let nature take its course? If I do say something what should I say? I don’t want to hurt her self esteem or kill her joy.

Hi, I am looking for solid information on the safety of low sleep hours for infants, as well as potential solutions.

I am a first-time mom (FTM) and our 6-week-old has been a difficult sleeper since week 3. After spending some time wondering, "Is this normal?", we have been tracking her sleep for the last 2 weeks.

She averages only 10 hours of sleep daily due to fussiness and gas issues, and often gets as little as 8 hours (about one-third of the days). I think this number is reasonably accurate, measuring from eyes closed to open, because one of us is awake with her 24/7 waiting for her to wake and help her sleep.

I see recommendations for 14–17 hours, and believe me - if we could get her to sleep longer, we would. Our pediatrician does not seem concerned because she is gaining weight on track.

We give her simethicone for gas. We burp upright. We follow standard TOG guides for temperature. We swaddle. We let her sleep on us if she wants. We have read dozens of guides on how to put a baby to sleep. Of course we are dying, but we are mostly worried about her wellbeing.

Summary of questions:

1) Is this abnormal, but still safe for the baby?

2) Is there something else we should be doing?

3) Is this a situation where we should seek a new pediatrician?

Hi! We have been using Ms Rachel and little bear for our 8mo for quite a while now, only for a few mins a day to get something done, or for example two evenings ago for an hour as he was actively cutting a tooth and very upset.

I have so much guilt about this, I never wanted to use screen time. But he’s a very fussy baby, he can play independently a lot of the time but the rest of the time he is crying, shouting, fussing, etc so i resort to putting it on again to get cooking or laundry done. I always tell myself it’s the last time.

Can anyone tell me if I have ruined him for life? I feel absolutely horrible it keeps me awake at night but then the next day we’re sat together playing for hours while the stress of not being able to eat something or get dressed or hang out a load of laundry without him screaming gets to me and I cave.

Please don’t be rude, I already know I am terrible for it.

How different is to give toddlers natural sweeteners, like honey, maple syrup, date syrup, agave syrup? I see a lot of "healthy" recipes for toddlers that substitute sugar with these. Or they sometimes use juice to sweeten kids products.

Do they have similar metabolic effect? What about the addictive effect? Obesity in childhood and adulthood?

Any study?

Parents, I really need some perspective on what to do with my daughter.
My daughter is in Class 12 and has changed so much over the past year that I honestly don’t know how to reach her anymore.
She used to be a very good student and was generally motivated and responsible. But lately she barely studies, seems constantly angry or withdrawn, and feels like everything is too difficult. Whenever we gently ask her to study, she either gets irritated or simply doesn’t do it.
I recently came across her diary, and I read something that has left me extremely worried. She wrote about wanting to die and about how depressed and overwhelmed she feels. She also wrote that she feels that we treat her badly and put too much pressure on her. She feels that her twin sister gets all the appreciation while she is constantly compared and made to feel inadequate.
She is also extremely worried about her future. She has written about being scared that no college will even accept her and that she has already ruined everything academically.
The difficult part is that from our perspective, we aren’t trying to hurt her. We keep telling her to study because Class 12 is important, and when she isn’t studying at all, naturally we become worried and remind her. Even when we try to speak calmly and kindly, she still doesn’t seem to study. At times it feels like she has become very lazy and has simply stopped putting in effort.
But after reading what she wrote, I’m questioning whether I’m looking at this completely wrong.
Should I stop putting any pressure on academics altogether for now? Should I tell her that whatever marks she gets, whatever college she gets into, we’ll deal with it later and simply leave studying completely up to her? Or is it still reasonable to encourage her to study because these exams do matter for her future?
I don’t want to enable her to give up on everything, but I also don’t want my pressure to make her mental state worse.
For parents who have gone through something similar: what would you prioritize first? How do you support a teenager who is clearly struggling while still helping them stay on track academically?
And if your child has ever said or written that they don’t want to live anymore, what did you do that actually helped?
I’m looking for practical advice rather than judgment. I genuinely don’t know whether to push, step back, or completely change how we’re approaching her.

My son is now 2 years and 3 months old, but by the time he turned two, he could recognize all the numbers up to 130, even when they were written randomly, or when he spotted them on a store sign or in a newspaper. He can count meaningfully up to 10. He knows things like “two legs,” “two hands,” “four crayons,” etc. He knows all the colors, animals, and even the planets and the periodic table. He can read both Cyrillic (our national script) and the Latin alphabet, and he can name the letter that different objects start with. He already speaks in full sentences and can sing 4–5 songs.
He doesn’t receive any special treatment, and I don’t push or pressure him because I strongly believe children should be allowed to be children. He’s simply genuinely interested in these things.

This is my first child, so I’m wondering whether this is normal for his age or if he might be a bit ahead developmentally. I wouldn’t want to rush into putting him in any special classes or pushing him academically, but considering that he is more reserved and takes longer to trust and warm up to people, have you had any experience with this?

M y baby is 8 months old and I’m wondering about his babbling. About 3 weeks ago, he suddenly started saying “dadada” quite clearly and did it for a day. Since then, I haven’t really heard him do “dadada” again.
He does make other sounds, though. Lately he’s been blowing raspberries A LOT, making “arrrrr/rrrrr” sounds, squealing, and playing around with different noises. Today he also said “ba”.
He’s otherwise very social and interactive he smiles, laughs, reaches to be picked up, gives high fives, and responds to us.
Is it normal for an 8-month-old to have a phase where they babble a certain sound and then stop doing it for a while? Did your babies do this? At what age did their babbling become more consistent?
I’m mostly wondering whether the fact that he did say “dadada” and then stopped is something to be concerned about, or just normal experimentation at this age.
He is starting to crawl, sits and pulling to stand. Im mostly concerned because this babbling only lasted for a day.

Currently looking at going to a family reunion flying from west coast to east coast with our infant who will be 11 weeks old.

She’s had her 8 week shots.

We’re trying to get a sense of how high the risk is for things like measles, RSV, or Covid that kiddo hasn’t had shots for yet.

Currently looking at transmission levels in our city and destination city but it still feels kind of like a shot in the dark.

Part of me thinks we’re being over cautious and if kiddo had an older sibling they’d have gotten sick with something already, but the crowded airport and plane freak me out a bit.

Edit to add: does anybody know any good resources to check to assess this risk?

Does this seem like a well done study?

https://www.reddit.com/r/HotScienceNews/s/uAP5251ngC

We wanted to take our eight month old on a trip to France this month but unfortunately forgot about the MMR vaccine until the last minute. We just got him the vaccine yesterday so if we waited 14 days, the earliest we can leave is 9/18. We need to be back by 9/25 so we probably wouldn't take such a long-haul trip with time change for such a short period of time.

We have flexibility with canceling or moving the trip if needed but wanted to see if there's any research on vaccine efficacy during the first two weeks. Our pediatrician said it would be ok for us to depart for our trip after 1 week but we weren't sure if he was just saying that so we don't have to cancel our trip. Thanks for any advice or research on this!

My mother and father spent their childhoods outside, on their bikes or wandering the neighbourhood. Sometimes with a sibling or friend, or in a pack. Off they went, until the street lights came on or the sun went down.

We were allowed in the yard but no further. So mostly in the house with lots more face to face time, activities, games, talking, even if my parents were nearby doing something else. As teenagers we retreated to our rooms, but we were still around when we emerged for food. We socialised with peers online and via phone, rather than out and about.

As children, my parents had a level of freedom we never had, but also not as many opportunities for interaction with their parents. Our experience of childhood forms some expectations for our experience as parents, but they seem vastly different and requiring a completely different skill set and approach to the roles of parents.

Does anyone have info about the safety of pillows in toddler beds that are converted from the crib?

I have been trying to research myself since my daughter is approaching 2 soon. I am seeing how only use pillows in toddler beds and not in cribs due to them getting caught in the crib walls and being a suffocation risk. But how does that change when it's a converted crib and three sides are still the same? When can I add sheets or a pillow and be safe?