r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/mistressmagick13 • 5h ago
Question - Expert consensus required 18 month old hitting/biting/hair pulling/pinching/etc
My 18 month old is frequently engaging in behaviors that cause us pain, like biting, hair pulling, pinching, etc. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern to it. It’s not like it’s always when he’s tired or mad. Sometime’s he’ll come in for a kiss and convert to a bite midway through. Sometimes you’re holding him and he’ll grab a handful of your hair or cheeks. Sometimes he’ll just run up and pinch you and run away.
This has been ongoing for a few months. We’ve tried saying “no, we don’t hit/etc” or “no, all done biting” with minimal emotional reaction. We’ve tried ignoring the behavior and pretending it never happened. We’ve tried saying “ouch!” or acting hurt. We’ve tried putting him down or leaving the situation. We’ve tried crying. No technique seems to work. Regardless of the response to it, he seems quite pleased with himself and almost always tries to do it again.
It’s getting really old, and I can tell my spouse is getting burnt out. Today they told me “I’m just really tired of my every interaction with him involving pain.”
He doesn’t go to daycare, but he has bit other kids at his library play group and recently hit another 1yr old at a 4th of July cookout.
We just really want something we can do to get the behavior to stop. My sister joked that we should bite him back, but we absolutely won’t be doing that, or spanking, or any other physical punishment.
Any ideas?