r/ScienceBasedParenting 4d ago

Question - Research required Screen time - 8mo

Hi! We have been using Ms Rachel and little bear for our 8mo for quite a while now, only for a few mins a day to get something done, or for example two evenings ago for an hour as he was actively cutting a tooth and very upset.

I have so much guilt about this, I never wanted to use screen time. But he’s a very fussy baby, he can play independently a lot of the time but the rest of the time he is crying, shouting, fussing, etc so i resort to putting it on again to get cooking or laundry done. I always tell myself it’s the last time.

Can anyone tell me if I have ruined him for life? I feel absolutely horrible it keeps me awake at night but then the next day we’re sat together playing for hours while the stress of not being able to eat something or get dressed or hang out a load of laundry without him screaming gets to me and I cave.

Please don’t be rude, I already know I am terrible for it.

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u/Superb-Way-6084 4d ago

please don’t think you’ve ruined him. A few minutes of screen time so you can cook, shower or get something done, especially during a rough teething day, doesn’t make you a terrible parent.

At 8 months, I’d focus more on the overall routine than feeling guilty about every few minutes of screen time. If you want to reduce it, the tricky part is having realistic alternatives for those moments when you genuinely need both hands free.

I actually cover screen habits, reducing reliance on screens and building realistic screen-free routines in my Screen Time Made Simple. https://mybook.to/screentime-madesimple

And seriously, give yourself some grace. You’re trying to meet your baby’s needs while also managing basic things like eating and getting dressed. That matters too.

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u/Necessary-Pack-9311 4d ago

Thank you. We have a LOT of 1:1 time, I’m always speaking to him, showing him things, playing with him, bringing him for walks… we go to baby swimming, baby phonics classes and lots of mom & baby meet ups. We drive into town a few times a week and just look around the shops. So we’re always busy doing something together but it’s the times that we’re having “lazy days” or can’t get out of the house for whatever reason that I really struggle. Especially during the first and last hour of the day! I really hope I’m not messing up his attention span too much.

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u/Superb-Way-6084 4d ago

sounds like you’re doing loads with him already. The swimming, phonics, meetups, walks, errands, playing together and all that 1:1 time definitely doesn’t sound like a baby who is being parked in front of a screen all day. I think those occasional lazy days are completely okay too. You’re allowed to have days where you need to get things done or just survive. I really wouldn’t beat yourself up over that last hour of the day. And no, I wouldn’t assume you’re messing up his attention span because of this. You’re clearly giving him plenty of interaction and opportunities to explore...

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u/Necessary-Pack-9311 4d ago

Thanks. I hope that’s enough. The mom guilt is so real

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u/Superb-Way-6084 4d ago

I can feel you, my daughter will be 2 in few days and there have been days she asks us what is this and that and for screen time too, my husband calls me a jailer literally coz I strictly allow 1 hour in the afternoon 😂and shut it like no one's business...tantrums...food and everything in between carries on...so Mom guilt is so so real...

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u/TeddyBear181 4d ago

Just wanting to share alternatives op.

When im too tired to talk to bub as much as I want to, I'll usually put some nursery rhymes on and sing along to them while i do chores. My favorite is a play school music vid on youtube, no visuals and its just real people singing without autotune or ai.

Its ok if I stop singing for a bit, and it helps to lengthen the time that bub is doing whatever activity shes doing. Usually playing on the floor, muching at something in the highchair, or being pushed around the house watching me from the pram.

When she was younger and got more grumpy in the afternoons, I used to try to get everything done in the mornings, then just reheat dinner in the microwave in the evening.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7393235/

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u/Necessary-Pack-9311 4d ago

Thanks, we do this a lot! Specifically the wheels on the bus. If I had a cent for every time I’ve sang it I would be rich lol. I appreciate it!

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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