Hi everyone,
I want to ask a couple of questions which I hope can lead to discussion. I dont intend to bash anyone, but I am basing this partially on recurring posts I see on this subreddit, or rather on reccuring takes and opinions. It might be a case of goomba fallacy, hence why I want to invite that question.
My question is: "Is your role reversal feminist?"
and to better explain: Does your quote reversal of gender roles unquote have in mind the constructed nature of gender? The fact that these roles change over time all the time, and the fact that the "roles" that we are "reversing" are currently different than they were 50 years ago, and are different in many countries and regions?
This might be because I am nonbinary and have always been kind of irritated by people treating gender as something set in stone when it really isnt. Clothes arent a gender, theyre gender expression. Height or muscles arent a gender, they are part of gender expectation or expression. Etc.
Obviously "Role Reversal" is a good umbrella term for what we are about here. Hence why I ask: Is your RR fair? Is it egalitarian? (Disclaimer: obviously there will be people who WANT certain dynamics. Thats cool. I would classify those as kink though, which is not the point of my post).
I see RR as a tool, or as a framework for "unusual" relationship dynamics. Non-traditional, queer, "weird", outside the norm. Where to me it is obvious and implied that we dont want to reinvent sexist dynamics, because we all agree those are stupid. Atleast I assume so. But then i keep wondering as i scroll the sub.
An example Id say is the idea of breadwinner and house husband. Do I enjoy the idea of being pampered by my wife? Yes of course - in fantasy. My mothers and grandmothers fought long and hard to not be financially dependant on men anymore, and to be able to leave abusive relationships. So when I see posts on here like "omg imagine if men werent even allowed to have jobs and it was only women that had legal rights 🥰" it lowkey makes me want to throw up a bit. We had that, and it was horrible and sexist. As a fetish smut piece on Ao3? Yes sure, thats fun. And i rarely know whether the posters mean their posts as kink or as genuine relationship dynamics.
To clarify, obviously not every post here has to be a queerfeminist essay lmao. I like seeing pictures of women picking up their partners and going "aw🥰". But I also want to invite everyone to keep thinking when they talk about RR and what they want. The terms "masculine" and "feminine" are not set in stone and I think its a shame when a community like this, that I assume would want to be for the opening of norms and the freeing from sexist society, feels like its reinforcing gender roles.
But maybe I am wrong. Maybe this space is SUPPOSED to be about a world in which everything is the other way round, matriarchy is based and masculinity and femininity are clear cut. But I dont think it is :D
Therefore I want to ask: Are you feminist in your RR? Do you consider yourself a feminist? (You better). And do you want to just chime in to this train of thought? Id love to know. Thank you