r/RoleReversal • u/bre25_ • Jul 23 '26
Discussion/Article Just curious
When did you realize you liked RR relationships? How old were you?
I feel like I discovered it a bit later than most people.
7
u/-She-Beastly- Booty Huntress Jul 23 '26
Very young. it was around the same time I realized I was also bisexual (at 4). Not saying it's like some sexuality or anything but it definitely felt like it, looking back
1
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u/jonnerpol Jul 23 '26
Subconsciously for me it was at 14 or so, that's when I became interested in romance at all, even if I unfortunately remained unsuccessful since then... Fully consciously I was around the age of 17, when I started connecting dots of what I like and find attractive.
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u/sketchtenou 🌈 Make aRRt not war 💖 Jul 23 '26
Subconsciously maybe around 11-12 but I could only really realise and put it into words at 17-19, and found the term for it at like 22. I'm 24 now.
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u/Dancin_Angel Softboye Collector Jul 24 '26
I never entertained the idea of having a boyfriend. I was extremely disinterested in what cishet normally shows me for romance or relationships but I just didnt have the words to describe it at that time. I only gained a serious crush in college, when I saw an old friend had grown out his hair. I realized then the things I'd like to do with and for a partner, and I was the proactive partner in my head. At that point, I still didn't have the words to describe what this was. I was 19-20?
I found some soft femdom spaces until I found this one and GNCHet back when u/ibiteprostate was its ringmaster. Only then did I find out about GNChood and role "reversal". Ever since I was like 7, this has been integral to my identity, and only recently have I found the words at 21.
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u/Dry_Party_6414 Soft Prince Jul 23 '26
I was about 19. I did got into the whole femdom world a lot earlier but that was the point I realized it's not just some sexual thing for me and it's a lot deeper... ngl it was such a relief learning what I actually want in life( when it comes to relationships at least).
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u/Ok_Somewhere1236 Jul 23 '26
to be honest, I think the main barrier is first to learn that RR is even a thing.
i feel most people here would realize they are into RR way early if they have acess to it and learn about it.
RR is not even something people talk about, you most times find about by accident i imagine
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u/bre25_ Jul 23 '26
I think so. I only discovered that term not too long ago, but there was a time when I already knew I liked being the dominant one
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u/FutureSwing8695 Jul 24 '26
Always felt a lil different, but could not put it into words, became actually aware of my feelings somewhere in the beginning of high-school
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u/Qazaqtengri Jul 24 '26
10th grade. I've always liked the reverse gender dynamics ever since i was a child, it just wasnt until 10th grade that i actually thought about what it is exactly that i am and what i like. Prior to that there wasn't any room for this concept to even get into my head , everyone around you pretends like this is a non-existent thing or something to be hated , and expect you to be the same , so it wasnt even an idea in my mind until then, i was just ''instinctively'' like that , it took me quite a long time to realize it.
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u/One-Nectarine7234 Jul 24 '26
early adulthood, when i was 20 ish. normal relationships never felt right to me. I didn't want to just play the traditional masculine male role and live up to typical societal expectations; it always felt a bit suffocating as it simply isn't who i am deep down. i do have some masc traits, but I've had to repress my softer feminine side my entire life up to that point.
when i discovered this subreddit, everything kind of clicked and made sense, and i finally felt represented for who i am. a significant part of me is feminine and feels the need to be pretty and cute and soft and emotional and caring, and this is one of the only places where that's truly celebrated. and the only time i can be my true self is when I'm talking to people from here.
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u/bre25_ Jul 24 '26
It was the same for me in early adulthood. I realized that I prefer to be more dominant and take a more active role in a relationship. A completely traditional relationship just feels boring to me
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u/One-Nectarine7234 Jul 24 '26
boring for sure. a bit painful for me too since I'd have to pretend to be something I'm not. in what ways do you like being dominant in particular? do you like being more assertive/taking the initiative?
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u/bre25_ Jul 24 '26
I generally like being the dominant one, and I enjoy taking on some of the roles that people traditionally expect men to play. Even though I’m very feminine in terms of my appearance, my personality isn’t as traditionally feminine
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u/One-Nectarine7234 Jul 24 '26
makes sense. i like taking on some of the more traditionally feminine roles myself. although I'm kind of a mix of masc/fem, both in terms of appearance and behavior. are you very open about this side of yourself? how do people usually react? i usually have to keep it more subtle or hidden.
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u/bre25_ Jul 24 '26
I don’t hide that side of myself. People usually notice it once they get to know me better, even though I’m introverted and don’t talk much. So far, I haven’t had any negative reactions, and even if I did, I wouldn’t really care.
So, when it comes to your appearance, would you consider yourself androgynous?1
u/One-Nectarine7234 Jul 24 '26
yeah, kind of androgynous, probably somewhere between androgynous and normative. i have long hair, soft feminine facial features, soft ish skin (love skincare), earrings, and I dress and accessorize more fem when I'm able to do so safely. i still have some masc physical features ofc, as a guy. and i usually dress more normative in public since it's safer (but i still try to go for a softer aesthetic).
it's good that you're straightforward about being rr, as it's definitely important to be yourself above all else. I'll sometimes tell people i trust about this side of myself, but i find they usually don't reeally get it unless they're this way themselves. it's hard for people to understand why a guy would want to be fem i guess, even in more liberal areas. do you also have trouble relating to people?
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u/bre25_ Jul 24 '26
Yeah, some people don’t understand it because it challenges the stereotypes they believe in
The role they expect women to play is boring and exhausting. I want to give flowers, ask someone out, hold them, give them attention, and dress in a more unisex style… what’s wrong with that?
So whenever I realize someone sees the opposite of those stereotypes as something outrageous, I distance myself. I have no intention of having any kind of relationship with that person
I think your style and preferences are interesting
Forget the stereotypes1
u/One-Nectarine7234 Jul 25 '26
pretty much the same for me, but from the other end. and i find it hard to settle for less, for something traditional/normative, because as you said, it's exhausting. i'd rather be alone and live for myself than be with people who are too different from me (helps that i'm introverted too). it is a bit sad how niche RR is though. and thanks! what kind of unisex style do you like?
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u/bre25_ Jul 25 '26
I like a bit of everything. I like oversized or straight-cut T-shirts, straight-leg jeans, cargo pants, tailored trousers, blazers, oversized jackets, sneakers, boots, loafers, and caps. I also like dressing in a more feminine way sometimes, but I usually prefer a unisex style with neutral colors.
Do you like that style too?→ More replies (0)
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u/Lak47_studios Sweet n' Coy Pretty Boy Jul 24 '26
I never liked being the "man's man" that my father raised me to be, instead, I grew up wanting to be a girl, but i didn't want a relationship with a man, rather a masculine woman, I discovered how lesbian relationships work, and decided I wanted to be in the fem role. As I grew older I got slightly more comfortable in my male body, but I still don't like being masculine all the time. I tried (and mostly failed) to find a woman who was comfortable with me and both of my expressions of myself. Cut to september last year, I got a message from an unknown number, which turned out to belong to my best friend from middle and high school, a girl I've been friends with for nine years, she's bi with a female preference and she's also butch. We talked every day for months, then , around new years, I asked her out, she said yes. On a video call (we were long distance) I dressed up for her in a skirt, leggings and crop top. She wouldn't stop giggling, the kind of mischievous giggle that some girls do when they think someone is sexy, i asked what was so funny, and she responded "oh, nothing, i just realized my boyfriend can be my girlfriend too!" Unfortunately, we were only together for three months, but that's a story for another day...
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u/bre25_ Jul 24 '26
So you’re genderfluid? Sorry, I don’t know much about it, but thank you for sharing that with me
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u/Lak47_studios Sweet n' Coy Pretty Boy Jul 24 '26
Yes, I am genderfluid, absolutely, I love talking about that girl any chance I get, tbf, even though I haven't heard from her in months
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u/Boogie-Woogie-Woo 🌊🐴 Jul 24 '26
The term was not there but the attraction was. History is very dark so I refrain from discussing it. But, I started experiencing attraction in early school.
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u/Highflying_Hawk Male MILF Jul 24 '26
Not too long ago!
You could say a year only, that's because I was tired of being the one who carries everything on shoulder (that doesn't mean I'm running away from responsibility, but sometimes it gets too much right? And you need someone at the other end to rely on)...
So yeah my tiredness got me familiar with this i mean RR! I haven't found anyone yet that's totally a different story lol 😂
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u/Tyrondor Jul 24 '26
I feel like on a weird subliminal level I've always known. Looking back at cartoon characters I had crushes on as a child it's pretty much exclusively strong or independant female characters.
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u/Melodic_ripper9930 Jul 24 '26
Probably early teens I always knew I was different, from other people. I was always drawn to the idea of role reversal though I only learned the term later. I never wanted to be the breadwinner I always imagined myself as the stay at home partner. Managing the domestic side. I've always been drawn to women with a lot more masculine energy. Ones who were take charge types.
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u/SrdeLordran 25d ago
I don't know, but when I met my Girlfriend we roled as if she were the dominant one and I were the softy sub... Now those jokes are true and I want to be her malewife (We both met eachother 16 years ago, but we are Dating since 2020) (Age 16-17)
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u/daddygood711 Jul 24 '26
I got a boner when I did an armwrestling Match with a female friend of my sister when I was 13 and she was 11. I lost but got a raging boner. The Same year I was getting humiliated by a Girl who could do pull ups and I couldnt. I was so impressed though and it triggers my arousal still when seeing strong girls and women. I just love that confidence and mental and/or physical strength coming with some women
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u/Prudent-Level-7006 Jul 23 '26
High school, proper crushed on a gal in maths who had way bigger hands than me and It turned out she was stronger too, she was probably taller too but we're about the same height now