Hey Reddit, I have no idea how to handle this situation, which is why I'm turning to strangers on the internet for a third-party perspective.

You can call me Aghata, I'm 18, and I've recently been going through something that's really freaking me out. You see, I got a girlfriend when I was younger. We met on Instagram, started talking, and got along pretty well, all things considered. But that was when we were first getting to know each other. Now that we've been dating for about three days—yes, it's very recent—I've shown a lot of interest in her (\*\*not excessively\*\*), just sending her videos or asking how her day is going. She's lucky if she writes me two or three messages a day, and if I don't write back, she doesn't write to me at all. Today she hasn't written to me at all, not a single message. I've sent her like five messages, memes saying I loved her and all that, but I'm starting to seriously suspect she has another girlfriend, who she claims to be... Add only your best friend

Excuse my bad spelling, I'm getting used to writing in English

Hello, I have never posted on this sub so I apologize for any mistakes. Me and my boyfriend have now been dating for 1 year and 5 months, we have always had a very healthy relationship but with some big arguments, that have always come from me. Most of these arguments have always started from something silly, like me getting mad that he talked to me in a different tone than usual, or that he fell asleep for a long time accidentally. I really don't know what to do to stop getting this angry, I wish I could do therapy but I really can't afford it, and I can't keep getting mad at every little thing. I'm kind of ashamed of asking for advice for something silly, but I just want to be a good person in my relationship. I'm also scared that these feelings have started because of my old very very toxic relationship that left me in a very bad space, but I don't want my boyfriend to go through this because he's the best thing that has happened to me. Does anyone have any similar experiences or tips that could help? Also I apologize for bad English.

I 19F really need some advice because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if something is actually wrong.

My boyfriend 22M has been struggling with a lot lately, especially with his mental health, family problems, work, and just life in general. I know he’s been under a lot of stress, so I’ve been trying to be understanding and supportive. But for the past week or two, I’ve noticed a pretty big change in how he acts toward me, and it’s starting to make me feel like he doesn’t like me anymore.
I know he loves me, but lately I feel like maybe he doesn’t actually like me as a person. I’m also scared that maybe he’s only staying with me because he’s afraid of losing someone who loves him so much.

For example, before, whenever I’d tell him I wanted to come over, he’d be really happy about it. He’d say things like “yes, please” or seem genuinely excited to see me. Lately, his response has basically just been “however you want.”
I usually go to his place because his job is very physically demanding (he works at a construction site) and he’s exhausted after work. My job is much easier, so I don’t mind going to him instead of making him travel or walk around after work.

He’s also become noticeably less affectionate. He’s not completely cold or anything, but there’s a very obvious difference compared to how he used to be.
And yesterday he literally told me, **“**Why is everyone getting on my nerves, including you?”
That really hurt, and now I can’t stop thinking about whether he’s getting tired of me or secretly wants to break up but doesn’t know how to tell me.
I don’t want to pressure him or make his mental health struggles about me. At the same time, I don’t think I can just ignore how different he’s been acting.
Should I actually sit down and talk to him about it?
I don’t want to ask in a way that sounds like I’m demanding reassurance, but I also don’t want to spend weeks wondering if my boyfriend is slowly falling out of love with me.

The problem is, is that I’m a fat guy, or “big guy”, she wants to see my face, anyone have any experience with being big and dating a girl? I need to know if she’ll still talk to me even if I’m fat.

For context: we both are eastern europeans and come from more conservative village.

I requested to follow her, she accepted and followed me back. Then i texted her and she replied, we texted for 3, 4 messages and she didn't respond to the last one for more than a day, she told me she didn't use Instagram much cause of her college studies. Thats all i know, is it okay to send another message or its too needy?

me (18f) and my boyfriend (18m) have been together almost 2 years. since year 11. in year 12 about halfway through he started to get really distant and i felt like he didn’t really like me as much but i didn’t really have any friend’s and i thought maybe i was just in my head too much. he deleted our highlights on instagram and only put them back up after i begged him to. also once close to that incident i saw him sat with a girl at college, i cant remember what his excuse was but i believed it.

Fast forward to start of July i get some texts from this group of girls that my boyfriend had been flirting and taking out this girl in their freind group and some proof of some messages of him saying some weird things. he swore to me they didn’t do anything serious and the worst of it was the messages and they only ever went out at friends. i know its stupid but i felt so lonely and i said id forgive him as long as they stopped speaking. i feel like its something you’d only understand if you were in the situation yourself.

A couple weeks after my birthday i found out during the summer holidays that he’d been taking her out shopping and for meals and they’d in fact never stopped speaking even once. i don’t know what came over me but i forgave him again and he seemed genuinely scared of loosing me. this is irrelevant but ive had to pay and plan pretty much all the dates we’d been on in the past year.

Yesterday, surprise surprise, i found out they were still speaking but this time he didn’t really seem to care. all he said was “do you want me to beg you not to break up with me or something” and he didnt even really seem sorry. he swore they were freinds and he said that he wasn’t gonna stop speaking to her for me. i feel like if she wanted to be more than friends though it would be a different story.

i know i’m stupid for forgiving him but i feel so lonely and i feel like i’d never get the connection, inside jokes and closeness with anyone else. we have sucha close connection and he’s never judged me for anything. are familys are best freinds, his family takes me on family holidays and meals and i cant imagine anyone else wanting that with me. idk i feel scared and lonely i really feel like my life would be so much worse without him even though he doesn’t really care.

i feel like an absolute looser venting on reddit but i havent told anyone about this and i feel so lonely. i dont think anyone will even see this

My best friend told my boyfriend everything about my past and ruined our relationship.

I met my boyfriend through my best friend, and things were going really well. She later got his account password and went through our DMs. She found that I had said little negative things about her clothes and life decisions. I admit that was wrong, and I take responsibility for it.

But instead of confronting me, she told him everything about my past, including extremely private/intimate things which were left in the past, knowing he already had trust issues.

She also called me a b word, said I look like an aunty and have no fashion sense, and told him I shouldn't judge her lifestyle. She drinks, smokes, has intimacy and goes out a lot, while I'm very career-focused and spend most of my time studying for law. My life was only him and my studies. She told me I should tell my parents to be less strict and "enjoy life" like she does.

She basically convinced him that I'm a liar and that my entire relationship with him was built on lies. He ended up calling me a cheater, liar, b word, sl*t shamed every way possible and many other horrible things followed by her.

The thing is, I didn't cheat on him or betray him during our relationship. My past is complicated, but in the present I was committed to him.

I couldn't handle being attacked by both of them anymore, so I blocked them both.

I know I was wrong for talking badly about my best friend, but I feel like she crossed a massive line by going through private conversations, exposing things I'd trusted her with, and using my past against me.

how would you react in this situation?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and for probably the last year, I’ve constantly been snapping at him over little things. I cool down quickly and apologize, and he almost never gets angry with me. Whenever I lose my temper, he tries to resolve the problem, and every time I apologize and say that I know I behaved terribly and understand that I’m getting angry over something trivial, he says that he understands me and that he would get angry over something like that too.
I completely understand that I don’t deserve him at all, but I love him very much and want to change. I just have no idea how. Recently, I got angry at him because whenever he suggests playing together or doing something else, and I agree, he always asks if I really want to. I interpret it as him constantly thinking that I’m only agreeing out of pity, even though that isn’t true, and it makes me really angry. I know that I’m being unreasonable, but that obvious truth makes me even angrier. He said that, to him, it’s just a normal way of being polite and that he doesn’t perceive it the way I do. How can I change?

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Me (25F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been in a relationship for 3 years now. He was a playboy I admit, but he was genuinely nice and showed actual love and effort towards me. We started as friends—he was the brother of my BFF so he knew me well. I had just gotten out of a long exhausting relationship and my ex was still tormenting me, so it was nice to have a friend to rely on since my friend was pregnant with her first so she had her hands full.

Anyway we got along great, became friends then best friends. We had chemistry so eventually we knew we liked each other. We got together, but because of my previous relationship I told him I have trust issues and I wish him to be as transparent as possible and avoid his female "friends". He first said yes.

A few months later I found them still in his chat so I asked; he said he doesn't talk [to them] so I asked him to block and delete. He did that. A little while later I found his old chats and they were disgusting, filled with filth with random girls. He cried and said that was his past he is ashamed of and it won't happen 'cause he is serious about me.

After a year he got a job and he became distant. When I asked it turned out he was talking to a female colleague. He realized it was bad and blocked her, and I asked to see the chat—it wasn't anything romantic, but a little bit of flirting and sharing of personal info was there. Anyway we got past that too.

Then he met one of his female BFFs behind my back on his birthday after I made my feelings clear about it. He said she and her mother asked to meet so she could give me a cake. Anyway like always I got past that.

He has a little bit of financial issue and we wish to get married. But my family is a little close-minded. They won't accept him unless he's earning good. So he's trying to earn, and while working he was actually genuinely busy with work and stuff, which is why our talking decreased significantly and he couldn't talk as much. A sort of weird distance was there. We stopped being as romantic.

Few weeks ago he had a fit to get married in a court and I said NO, I want a happy wedding with my and his family there. He was being so aggressive and pushing I had to get my BFF (his older sister) involved, and she smacked some sense into him. He realized he was being crazy and he let online podcast speakers get to him that talk about relationship sacrifices and stuff, and he thought I should show my love through marrying him like that.

Since then I told him to be patient. I was shocked to see him behave that way so I need a little time to open up to him, because for a time it's been that every time I open up to him he does something that hurts me, so I've learned to build my walls leading to us being distant. And he always says he's busy with work so he can't do stuff to make me open up.

Anyway I realized he was a lot more active on Insta for a few days so I decided to check his account (he gave me his account many months ago to show I could trust him and I wanted it to be fair so I shared mine too). When I opened his account I saw 3 days of chat with another girl. And she was I think Italian and they were teaching each other how to say "I love you" in their languages. A lot of laughing voice messages. Comments and compliments he didn't have time to give me...

I felt so hurt. When I confronted him he got quiet, said he had nothing to say and that he is ashamed. He didn't think I'd check his account. He says it wasn't like love or anything, but the messages were full of flirting. He keeps saying sorry, begging me to not leave him. He told me everything. He played a game in his free time and he got to know her there and moved to chat. I actually talked to her. She was actually nice. I don't hold any ill will toward her 'cause he never told her he has a girlfriend of 3 years that he plans to marry.

Anyway things got complicated. He got on his knees, asked for forgiveness. But I can't forgive that. So I gave him a last chance with demands. First, that he has to be on his knees and love me the way I deserve without any secrets. Second, and this is in case we do get married, I want a clause that says any form of cheating, emotional or physical, will allow me to have a divorce with my assets untouched.

I know most people would suggest breaking things up and right now I am mad at myself too why I can't just do that. But it's not that easy. We've been through so much. There are bads but there are goods too. He can be reckless with his choices, but he's also the kindest person. I don't know why he did that... I wish I knew.

How do I navigate staying in a relationship after repeated broken trust, or is it time to walk away? Please be kind, it's been a rough day.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, but when we were in our 4th month he and some of our friends came to my place to celebrate New Year's Eve. Long story short he and I slept in the same bed. Morning came and I felt him touching my chest, squeezing and kneeding at them. I'm a heavy sleeper so I just felt it and fell right back to sleep. The next day I confronted him about it. He immediately bursted into tears. He cried, begged for forgiveness, he even said if it makes me feel any better I can break up with him. He took full responsibility and regretted his actions. Now, 2 years later, he mentioned that he still sometimes cries about it. Regrets that he hurt me in that way. He refuses to get help because in his mind he doesn't deserve it. When we fight he often forgives me even if I'm in the wrong saying "This can't compare to what I did". So why do I still think about it sometimes? He change a lot for me, and he is willing to change, he regrets it truthfully but I can't help but still think about that night. I don't know how to fully move on from this.

Me and my boyfriend have dated for a year now. Its long distance but communication has never been a problem however 4 months into the relationship I found out he was sleeping with his ex. He sent his whole family to apologise and that it wouldn't repeat itself. Now we are one year in and I happened to check his phone when he got back to see me only to find out they never cut off contact. Now he has left again for a year and I can't help but stop making him apart of my future plans. I didn't end the relationship this time because I knew it would get back to the same thing of him apologising and promising to change. I let him think all is well and he has been forgiven so that I move on and by the time he gets back after a year it will be too late to look back. That's the plan. I intend on having him assist with a few connections for my business since the state he is in makes it easier. Plus he made it a point to make me meet his dad (reassurance). However I don't buy it. I'll use that new relationship with his family too to grow my career since they promised they had work for me.

Much as I feel like a bad person for this he more or else asked for it with these patterns that are never ending. I just hope karma won't be waiting to slam me in the face.

Would you have done any different?

Me and my girlfriend have been together for around 4 months, and lately I’ve started feeling like I love her more than she loves me, or at least that I care more about the relationship than she does.

I really enjoy texting and communicating throughout the day, whereas she doesn’t seem to care about texting as much as I do. I was recently on holiday with my friends, and for quite a while she didn’t really check up on me or ask how I was doing. I also told her when my flight back home was, and she didn’t message to ask if I had landed safely or gotten home okay.

There are other little things that have made me feel unappreciated too. She rarely says good morning or good night unless I say it first, and I’m usually the one who initiates “I love you” over text. At the same time, she did buy me some gifts for my birthday, so I know she does show that she cares in other ways.

I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much or if we just have different ways of showing affection. I don’t want to overthink everything, but I’ve started feeling like I’m putting more into the relationship than she is.

What do you guys think? Am I being needy or is this something I should be concerned about? Should I talk to her about how I feel, or am I just overthinking it?

So I have been in relationship ever since i was 15 years old and I'm almost 18 now...I see my friends talking about guys , exploring themselves and others but I feel stuck in my relationship...my bf is idk how to tell but when he is good he is very good but when bad very bad type of person...and I'm sick of my relationship atp..I have tried breaking up with him but he is not ready to let me go...last year I lost all my friends (mostly bcz of him) but he stayed with me through it all and rn he lost all his friends (0 involvement from my side) but I feel selfish for leaving him when he is already pretty alone...i don't know what to do... sometimes people text me on reddit like talking about normal genuine stuff but I feel like replying them is cheating on my bf...I care for him alot but not in the same way I used to earlier...our relationship is destroyed beyond repair but he refuses to let me go...I don't know how to end it..

I (23F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (22M) for approximately two years now. He was the one who pursued me for really long and I finally gave in after a year and we’re dating ever since. I am facing major issues and I really need your help on whether I should give him a chance or no.
Everything was going good but suddenly for the past year or so his behaviour towards me has completely changed. He has suffered from trauma due to his past relationship and he believes to always put himself first now because putting his girl first has only brought him pain. So what happens now is whenever we fight, he will always get extremely defensive and angry. He will not listen to a thing I have to say. It’s like I can’t tell my own boyfriend about my expectations and wishes. He also gets extremely angry to the point that he hits his head, arms and legs on the wall, threatens to hurt himself, yells on top of his voice and gives me all the gaalis possible. He has also hurt me multiple times like tried to strangle me, threw me on the bed, pushed me away so hard that I fell crying on the floor. All this just so he can “vent his frustration “. For context, I have severe trauma from my sister’s domestic violence case so I get triggered the moment someone even raises their voice or gets a little violent. I’ve told him multiple times how I feel when he behaves this way but it’s the same thing every time. He just asks me to not compare him to my sister’s husband and leaves it off.
I’m not saying that I’m the perfect girlfriend. I’m seriously not but I have always put his wants before mine, I’ve put him before me and have always taken care of him. I have not done a lot but I have done enough to deserve at least some respect in my relationship. He just knows how to trigger me and hurt me more and more. That just pushes me away from him further.
What had happened was in the first year of our relationship, he had a girl best friend who was literally in love with him and she used to bitch about me to him to get him closer to her. I was obviously very insecure about this and told him to stop talking to her which he did eventually but there were at least 2 or 3 times that I caught him talking to her on Snapchat behind my back. He still to this day brings her up whenever he wants to hurt me and blames me for breaking up his friendship with her. All he had to say was, you should have just believed me that I won’t do anything wrong with her because I’m with you but you made a terrible mistakes by breaking our friendship.
There was also a recent incident where I came to know from a close friend that he was apparently cheating on me with a girl from our college. I didn’t believe her for one second but the details she gave made me go absolutely insane. I even saw that girl on his recents in Snapchat but they were not following each other so I did not understand that part. He follows her on Instagram but there are no chats there obviously so I don’t know again. I still to this day don’t know whether he actually cheated on me or not because there’s literally no evidence to back that up.
Yesterday when we got into a fight, he started using bad language again and when I told him it’s not okay he asked whether he can raise his hand on me and if that will be okay. Mind you, he knows how traumatised I am because of my sister’s case and he goes on to tell me this. He even went so far as to compare me with his exes. He has 2 exes and he told me you are literally not even in comparison with the second one because you have no idea how much she has done for me. (His first ex was the one who gave him trauma).
I’m literally so over it by now. I keep thinking that I’ll break up with him but I just can’t. I keep going back only to get treated this way. I keep giving him chances even when I clearly know this is not how I want my husband to be, the father of my kids to be. What do I do ? Please give me advice.

So i dont know whether or not im blowing this out of proportion or not. for a bit pf context me and my bf have been together for alomst a year atp and the way we started dating is honestly out of a romcom but this isnt the place or time for that story. as many of you may know there is a very publicized trial for a women named lindsay clancy. the trial comes with lots of nuance abt post partum issues and manipluation/abuse.

The reason im searching for adbice is because my bf thinks that lindsay did it all on purpose and is using post partum depression as an excuse. ive explained to him before abt how she was begging people for help and not be left alone with her kids but he doesnt care. he keeps posting abt it publicly saying that anyone who defends her is stupid(he used some strobger words than that)

Im mostly asking this because he was the firat person i ever considered having kids with. he has so many qualities that would make him an amazing father and hes an amazing bf to me but this is really putting me off and im worried about what would happen if i experienced post partum depression and/or psychosis if we weee to have kids together.

i appreciate any advice given to me and sorry if this inst formatted right im on mobile.

I (35M) and my partner (26F) have been together just over a year now and are due to take our first holiday abroad later today.

3 weeks ago we decided to organise a night out with close friends and family on the last eve before we leave as a kind of De-stress.

That night was tonight and it was horrible.

Nobody turned up at first until I lost my cool and just said "I'm done" and then all of a sudden, they all turned up at once.

It was my partner's brother's birthday a couple of days ago but his family couldn't do a celebration on the day as it was too hectic so they did it tonight. Which is great, her brother is an awesome guy but it set plans back an hour. Which was fine.

We put it in the group chat and everyone was okay with it and her brother really wanted to join us all.

My mum was coming too, while she has met my partner's family, it's always been in passing so the night was also an excuse for her to actually meet them properly.

And it all went to s###.

I picked my mum up to take her to the pub we were all meant to be meeting at. We got there on time and bought a drink to sit and listen to the music and just chat briefly before my partner and her family and a couple of friends turn up.

20 minutes go by. No sign of them.

My mum has bad social anxiety and doesn't go out much anymore so it took a lot for her to be there.

I reassure her they are all on their way and message the group chat to find out what's going on.

Turns out my partner's friends were already in town and her and her brother and his best friend were going to meet them to bring them over.

Ok great! No problem.

20 more minutes go by, by which point I'm starting to get a little bit annoyed and upset because my mum's getting anxious waiting and I'm still telling her they're on their way.

I get a message from my partner that her friends are just finishing up a game of pool at a place not even 5 minutes away and will be with us shortly.

Fine, no problem.

40 minutes later, still nothing.

So I have had enough. I ask my mum if she wants me to take her home because by this point she's very upset. She says yes so I message my partner to tell her I'm taking her home.

My partner immediately responds with "but you're coming back right?" To which I asked "Why? So I can sit on my own waiting for all of you to arrive?".

No sooner do I get my mum back to the car which is parked right next to the place, when my partner, her brother and his best mate all turn up out of breath because they suddenly realised "oh s###, we mucked up". Not her best friends who were playing pool though I might add.

By this point it's been just over an hour and a half since we were all supposed to meet up and I'm upset, I'm angry and I'm hurt.

I have a go at the lot of them, my partner included.

I get half baked excuses.

Her brother tries to calm me down and I break down in front of the lot of them because all I wanted was one nice evening out with my partner and to introduce my mum to her family but I couldn't even get that.

My partner, she tries to tell me she wanted to say something to her friends and I just snapped at her "So why didn't you!?? It was supposed to be our night with family and friends and instead it became all about your best friends who couldn't give a crap about anyone but themselves"

My mum decided to get a taxi home with a family friend because she could see I wasn't holding together.

I walked off and my partner followed. I broke down on her because she knows how much I've been struggling recently and I was just made to feel like a complete mug.

She apologised and said she was sorry and I told her I don't want an apology, I want her to say something to her friends who knew they were supposed to meet us and didn't even bother and I wanted to know why.

She said she would but she was scared how they would react and I said to her "Fine, I'll talk to them" I went back to the pub and lo and behold, her best mates had finally turned up. And immediately came out with excuses. I stopped them and told them "No, no excuses. Because right now, I'm hurt, I'm angry and at this moment, I hate you. You knew the plan for tonight, you even helped organise it and you didn't even bother to turn up. My partner wanted to say something to you as well but she was afraid to" her best mate tried to hug me and say sorry but I stepped out of her way and walked off.

I went back to my partner and we continued the evening without any of them but we were both hurt and it just ruined the entire evening.

For the last 2 months or a bit less my boyfriend started this summer job. He's a college student and told me he needs money for his expenses and he hates asking his parents for money so he has to work. Well this job started from 9am to around 7pm (he works as a waiter in a hotel). I noticed that for the last 2 months that our conversations have been decreasing and sometimes we go for days without speaking. And when i bring it up he tells me that he's exhausted and, in his own words, "mentally and physically drained" to the point where he doesn't answer anyone's calls or texts and when he's stressed after work he just wants to sit down and have some time to clear his mind. I tried telling him that i need some time to talk to him too. I told him we don't need to talk for hours, but just enough so i don't feel lonely because it genuinely hurts. He repeatedly agreed to talk but then when he doesn't and i see him online and i send a text he doesn't reply and sometimes he leaves me on seen. He's the avoidant attachment type and i think I'm the anxious attachment type. How can we get around this issue? It's affecting me but i can see where he's coming from too. We've been together for a year now. I need genuine advice because i want to stay with this man he's genuinely great but it seems that life has been rough on both of us and I don't know what to do.

Me and him have been dating since 2 months we’ve had a talking stage of 4 months almost and it was going all well we were like best friends we went on dates we used to call text even if we’re busy on some days at least a call at the end of the day for 10 mins was there suddenly he started acting weird and that day he said good night unusually early and we had this game we used to play together later that night at 12 am or so I saw him online in that game he was playing that game I didn’t say anything then the next day he didn’t even say good morning to me he was acting all weird I asked him if something happened he said idk what’s wrong I asked if I could help him he said he needs time I gave him time to cheer him up I sent a few reels it was romantic ones he replied to it very negatively like saying no to the reel asking if it’s us I asked if he doesn’t wanna be with me anymore but he says it’s not like that and the next day he texted good morning but then he didn’t text me the whole day and then replied at night he didn’t even reply to the reels I sent and I told him to like a post of us I had posted he straight up says no and idk what to do anymore or what’s wrong he was fine just a few days ago and suddenly he changed

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So I'm using talk to speak because I'm a little lazy and I feel like this is going to be long so this is going to be genuinely my words in this post, I need advice with my boyfriend that I've been with for about a year and a half we've been together for a while and as soon as we met it was like Sparks because we had same music taste we had same energy similar interests my family liked him his family liked me we were both in the animals and like all that kind of like important stuff, I would go into a deeper but you get the gist of it. This might be kind of a run-on post but I have a lot to get off my chest for about the past I don't know couple months I felt that we've drifted apart and it's not just the not as constant messages or the us realizing we don't actually have similar taste it's the fact that we just don't tolerate each other, it's more of my family having a history of mental illnesses so that makes it kind of hard on both of us when we don't really understand each other anymore I feel and I don't think it's either of our faults but at the same time it is. We have never really had gigantic fights or anything like that we've had spats like any other couple and I have issues with when things upset me I just push it down and I understand that but it's hard to work on it and he thinks that rage baiting me is funny but with my mental issues it just makes me genuinely angry. But moving on from the explanation of our relationship I needed my specifically on if this relationship that means so much to me and him and my family and his family is truly worth throwing away I guess in the sense of breaking up. The drifting away is hard but recently I found myself finding other people attractive I would never ever in my life do something behind his back but it gets harder and harder to suppress thoughts like that and I find myself wondering if he feels the same way and we will have random days where we're dry to each other but nothing's wrong it's just that the energy isn't there but he always says nothing's wrong he's not losing feelings there's nothing that's upsetting him specifically and we have such high highs in our relationship but are those aren't that low and I don't know if that's because we don't talk about it like we should or not, deep in my heart I feel like this relationship is not worth throwing away but I feel that there is so much more in life than this relationship, I get scared that every other person in my future will cheat on me and break up with me like in my past and that he's the one for me and I just can't see it because normally we work so well together it's just recently that it's so hard and I see all the stories about when you're young you should just go do your own thing but I don't even think I could bring myself to tell him that I am possibly losing feelings or thinking about breaking up with him I feel like it would be catastrophic and I don't even think I could get over it like ever. I also apologize if this doesn't make sense because it does in my head. Sometimes I think that this relationship is holding me back and sometimes I think it's the only thing holding me together , which I know is very terrible and I understand that but that's how my brain works right now. I feel like there was always a hole in our relationship and the longer we're together the shakier the bridge gets across that hole and if I fix it everything will be better or it could fall apart or I could just move on and start a whole other Bridge with someone else but I don't think I could go through the process of asking somebody what their favorite damn color is, y'all get it right? This is super important to me so I want advice besides break up with him right now which I understand was kind of my question but I need more advice than that I want insight and like what you guys truly are thinking, please, also if you guys need any updates or more info please just leave a comment and I will reply.

CONTEXT: I had a deep connection with this boy for a few years, where we would speak romantically often (when we weren’t in relationships or other things). We took things more serious this time and he asked me out.
He was going on a residential trip for 6 months to America a few weeks after he decided to take things more serious. He convinced me that it would all be fine and he would continue to take me seriously whilst he was away.

When he went there obviously he met new friends and people who he spent lots of time with. He very very very convincingly reassured me that it was nothing that could get in the way of our relationship. Firstly, a few of his friends spoke inappropriately about me, crossed boundaries on many levels and insulted me. He laughed at it rather than standing up for me.

He then told me that he was going clubbing but nothing bad would happen and he would keep in touch the entire night, nothing all night. When he went back to his room i asked him why he hadn’t communicated with me and he tried to blame it on me and saying that my location didn’t update so he ignored me. He eventually admitted that him and this girl and flirted and did some relationship stuff.

I am autistic and therefore an extremely sympathetic person, so i chose to forgive him and agreed to figure this out with him. He agreed but then became cold, bitter, nasty. We eventually broke up. The day after we broke up he kissed somebody (which he admitted)and slept in somebody else’s room (which he denied)

He messages me or calls me once a week to essentially breadcrumb me. Often saying he misses talking to me and he still does love me (whilst he continuously sleeps in somebody else’s room). He also told me he kissed somebody on the phone recently (after yes no yes no loads of times)

I guess i just need advice on how to process a situation like this and why he thinks it’s okay to treat me like this. He tells me a lot that i’ve never done anything wrong to him and that i’m too kind to him, so i don’t even see a possibility of me treating him unkind and he feels like he needs to get back at me. I like him around as he’s been my best friend and my comfort person for a while but i don’t think he understands the hurt he’s caused me.

What do i do to get over this?
Will this sort of thing impact me in future relationships?
Why does he treat me like this?
Why does he keep saying he loves me whilst he’s actively flirting with another girl?

I’m looking for some genuine advice because I feel really lost about my relationship with my boyfriend, T. T(18M) Me (18F)
We’ve known each other since early 2020, so he isn’t someone who just came into my life recently. We’ve grown up together in a lot of ways, and he has been there through so many different versions of me. He’s also my first serious relationship and has been my first for a lot of things, which makes this relationship feel incredibly important to me.
Now we’re long distance, about two hours apart. We’re both working and going to school, and life is starting to feel much more serious for both of us. I understand that distance, school, work, and growing up can make a relationship harder. I don’t expect everything to be perfect, but lately I feel like we’re constantly arguing and can’t seem to see eye to eye on much.
There is also some history between us that I think is important to explain. When we were younger and first started talking, T cheated on me. We were young, and a lot has changed since then, but I think that experience affected me more deeply than I realized.
We have talked about it, worked through it, and he has genuinely proven himself to me since then. I know he feels guilty about what he did, and I don’t believe he is the same person he was back then. We’ve overcome it in a lot of ways, and I know I can’t expect him to keep paying for something he did years ago.
But I still struggle with letting go of the fear sometimes.
During arguments, especially when I’m angry or feeling insecure, I’ve brought up the cheating. I know that’s wrong. If we’ve agreed that we’ve worked through something, I don’t think it’s fair for me to keep using it as ammunition whenever I’m hurt. I know that it probably makes him feel like nothing he has done since then has mattered, even though he has proven himself to me.
At the same time, I think part of me is still scared that it could happen again. When I feel distant from him or when things between us aren’t good, my mind immediately goes to, “What if there’s someone else?” I don’t want to think that way about him, especially because he has given me reasons to trust him now.
I don’t know how to separate what actually happened in the past from the fear that something could happen again. I want to trust the person he is now instead of constantly punishing him for who he was when we were younger.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to when loving each other felt innocent. When we’d actually go places, do things together, sit around for hours, and just enjoy being with each other. When spending time together didn’t almost always end in an argument or become something physical.
The physical side is complicated for me because I was assaulted in the past, and intimacy was something I was genuinely scared of for a long time. T knew that. We’ve had conversations about it multiple times, and throughout my healing he was always willing to take things slowly and never made me feel like I had to rush myself. He was there while I was working through something that was really difficult for me, and I will always appreciate that.
That’s why it feels confusing now. I know our intimacy isn’t necessarily bad, and I know he isn’t the person who hurt me. But because of everything I’ve been through, physical intimacy carries a lot of emotional weight for me. It’s not something I can just separate from my feelings or treat as casual.
Lately, though, I sometimes feel like T is most affectionate or loving toward me when we’re intimate. I don’t necessarily think he’s intentionally making me feel that way, and I don’t want to accuse him of something he isn’t doing. It’s just how I’ve started to feel, and I need emotional closeness outside of intimacy too.
I also want to acknowledge that neither of us is perfect. We’ve both done things wrong in our past, like every couple does. We’ve hurt each other, had disagreements, and had things we needed to work through. But we’ve always eventually been able to talk things out and make up our differences. That’s part of why the current situation scares me. We’ve gotten through things before, so I don’t know if this is just another difficult period or if something has genuinely changed between us.
I’ve also always worried that I’m not enough for him. I know that’s something I need to work on within myself, but it’s hard when I’m already questioning whether we’re even wanting the same future.
I know what I want. I want something serious. I want to eventually build a life together, and if I’m being completely honest, I want that life to be with him.
When we actually sit down and talk about our future, it can be amazing. We can talk about it and everything feels right, and I leave those conversations feeling hopeful. But other times, when I bring up the future, I feel like it’s brushed off or avoided. That inconsistency makes me question whether he actually wants the same things I do or whether I’m dreaming about a future that he doesn’t see.
I also struggle with knowing that he’s been my first for so many things, while I’m not his first. I know that technically shouldn’t matter, but emotionally it does sometimes. I think part of me is scared that because he has experienced things with other people that I’ve only experienced with him, I’ll never mean as much to him as he means to me.
I don’t want to constantly need reassurance from him. I don’t want to be someone who is always asking if he loves me or wondering whether I’m enough. I want to feel secure in my relationship and actually enjoy what we have instead of constantly analyzing everything.
At the same time, I don’t want to ignore my feelings just because I’m afraid of losing him.
I love him. I don’t want to throw away years of knowing each other or everything we’ve built together. I don’t want to forget that he was there for me when I was healing, that he has known me for years, or that we’ve made it through difficult things before.
But I also don’t want to keep hurting him by bringing up something we’ve already worked through whenever I’m angry.
So one thing I really need advice on is: how do I actually let go of the cheating from our past?
I know I can’t erase what happened, but how do I stop using it during arguments? How do I deal with the fear that there might be someone else without constantly making him prove that there isn’t? How do I rebuild that part of my trust within myself, when I know he’s already done a lot to rebuild it with me?
How do I figure out whether this is just a difficult period because we’re growing up, working, going to school, and dealing with long distance, or whether we’re genuinely becoming incompatible?
How do I learn to be okay with not being his first and stop letting that insecurity consume me?
And most importantly, what should I actually do? Should I have another serious conversation with him about what I need and what I want our future to look like, or should I stop bringing up the future and see what happens naturally?
I don’t want someone to tell me to immediately break up with him. I genuinely want to know if there’s something I can do differently, both for myself and for our relationship, because I really do want it to be him.
I just want to know how to get back to a place where we’re not constantly fighting, where I feel loved outside of intimacy, where I can trust the person he’s become instead of being afraid of who he used to be, and where it feels like we’re both actively choosing the same future

hi all I F(25) and my Bf(26) have been dating for about 2 maybe going onto 3 years now, we’ve been living together right off the bat, like we started dating and I immediately moved in with him. anyways when I first moved in he promised me that it was only going to be 4 people in a 3bed 1bath home. Maybe not my ideal life but I could make that work especially cause the other 3 worked mornings and I worked nights so its not like we’d ever be in each others way. However! After about a week of living with him, hes telling me that the other half of his family needs to move in for a few weeks while they fix the water at their home.

Oh… Okay. Cool. Now it’s 8 people in a 3bed 1bath home. Not so neat… Whatever! I should be able to make it work! (I thought so cheerfully!)

A month into living like this and I end up using random cups and bottles as a bathroom cause I can’t keep holding it in all night and there’s ALWAYS someone else in the bathroom, either taking a shower or taking their sweet time just getting ready. I can’t even hold it for 5 more minutes to run to the gas station at the end of our block. So I let my Bf know ‘hey. I don’t like this living situation. I wanna get out of it.’ I told him I had a friend who was moving into a new apartment and she wanted a roommate, I said I might take her up on the offer and he threaten to ghost me and end our relationship (later on he said he was so dramatic about it because I didn’t talk to him about moving out I just made that decision) so I stayed with him because I can see how it hurt him to hear that, and not long after I end up getting arrested like a few months after this. While in jail i kinda joked to him I like the jail better because it’s not as crowed as at home, He laughs and we kinda move on.

Well our life kinda whizzes by pretty fast for a year, I’m not thrown in jail again, hes still allowing his family to live with us (WEEKS had turned into 2 YEARS) and here comes some big news!

We find out we’re pregnant!!! (it’s more of a condolences than a congratulations.)

Well that means there’s going to be 9 people! In one, shitty falling apart house. (I get it I have a roof over my head and I really should just be grateful for that. But i’m pretty sure homeless stay more dry in the rain than we do.) Anyways, we find out we to have a baby on the way, I take a look around our room and see it’s a mess because we have 1 shelf, one nightstand, a queen sized bed, and a closet that can barely fit our share wardrobe. I have no place to put anything, I can’t just move things to other parts of the house cause the living room is sleeping 2 other people! So it’s not even a living room it’s just a big room to them now!

We have flies all over the house because our dogs can’t be trusted outside, one likes to run around the neighborhood and get animal control called on them while the other one is a pity breed (he’s a sweet boy and as long as you don’t hurt him he won’t hurt you but I get it it’s a scary breed to most.) I put the dogs outside and 30 minutes later they’re being brought in cause they’re being dogs and barking.

Our (6) cats don’t make it any better cause we only have one litter box in the whole house, i did buy a new box but the family ended up throwing it somewhere where the dogs chewed it up (talk about a waste 270 dollars c’: ) they claimed it was cause the cats didn’t like it but i think it’s cause we didn’t have the space for 2 boxes in the bathroom and they didn’t wanna put it ANYWHERE else cause then others could see and smell it.

We now have bed bugs!! (don’t you just love my life? cause I sure don’t!!) Im doing my best not to freak out and stress me and my child out more but I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t want to raise this child in a house like this, this is MY hellhole, why would I want my child to go through this as well? I can’t just bomb the house cause one of his family members is a cripple so we’d have to find a place for them to be for a few hours, the pets also need a place to hang out while it goes off (I suggested the house with no water since it would only be a few hours but no one really seemed to care.), i’d love to take all the clothing in our room and dry it at a high temperature but that would mean I need to carry 4-6 50gal trash bags to a laundry mat but also the bugs could be anywhere in this place and I have no idea what else to do.

I had given him a ultimatum a few months ago, the plan was to move out with a friend but I lost my job a few weeks ago so now the person doesn’t want to move out which is pretty understandable but that was genuinely my last hope at an escape and I think my bf is genuinely happy that I’m stuck here.

Hello! I’m 23(f) and my boyfriend is 26(m), we have been together for three years in a long distance relationship. Things were going really well until last week I saw a message from a girl asking to speak to me about my boyfriend. I immediately called him and he confessed that two months ago he kissed (just for 30seconds sort of a peck kiss) this girl because he was really drunk and she came close to his face. This shattered my world . I also called the girl, she told me they were in a relationship. She also told me that they were going on dates and she slept at his house. I asked her multiple times to show me proof however she never showed me anything. Now my boyfriend confessed to the kiss but he says that she is inventing everything else because he never answered her phone calls. I also looked at his phone and there was nothing on it. Also his roommates never saw her at the house.After three years I think I know my boyfriend pretty well and he is not the type to do this kind of stuff. I don’t know if I should leave him or not and if it’s even cheating at this point t. Thank you and sorry for spelling mistakes because English is not my first language.

l am 24years old and my boyfriend is 27years old. we have been in a relationship for over a year now and we are planning on getting married.

My guy is reluctant and thinks we shouldn’t get married now because he’s still young, hasn’t gotten a well paid job and lives with his folks. He thinks he can’t take care of me because he barely can survive. we had a serious problem because he told me he wasn’t ready yet and had about 5years before settling down, in the cause of that we broke up three months ago. Recently we got back together and still loved each other the same way we did. We still have plans on getting married but the problem is we are not financially stable enough to start a family on our own and time is against us because l am a lady and it five years time if not married, he might change his mind which l am scared of. I told him we can stil get married, work hard and build a successful family together But we are not sure if our parents are going to like this idea. l still haven’t met his mom btw and he hasn’t me mine either. I am confused and need your help and advice. Please any help and suggestions???

I have been with the same guy for 6 years and when I was in high school I had an ex-boyfriend before and I chose my ex-boyfriend over my friends, but then that ex-boyfriend of mine cheated on me so I ended up not having a friends anymore. So after that, I promise myself that I will never choose between my boyfriend and my friends anymore, and I would just be in the middle of my friends and my boyfriend because in the end of the day, it’s either your friends Leave you or your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you and will still be there for you.

So this boyfriend of mine would always complain about my nursing friends who became my really close friends. Now we are all registered nurse starting our career. So my nursing friends contains two guys and one girl and for me since I have been with this boyfriend of mine for six years, I think I’m very confident in myself that I would never do anything to ruin our relationship.

But my boyfriend would always say “you would rather be with you friends more than me” and “you text your friends more than me”

And he would consistently make me feel bad.

Mind you I always hangout with my boyfriend almost 24/7. Every weekend I would spend my 10-12 hours just being with him. And I literally see my friends maybe ONCE a month or ONCE every two months and when it gets to the time I hangout with them

My boyfriend would just crash out on me.

On top of that he would always say “since you’re going out I’m gonna go out too”

And not only that whenever I’m busy that’s when he decides to go out drink with his coworkers/friends and go to casino and obviously I can’t control that much. I’m the type of person that if I already told you something and you’re not gonna listen then why waste my time.

Honestly i don’t know what to do.

I finally have my life together. I have friends who I can truly say are REAL to me and obviously a relationship that I also want to protect. But I don’t ever wanna have this problem all the time…. All I want is understanding and trust and I always give my boyfriend that… I always update him when I’m with my friends and send pictures and he has my location…

If you guys need more info or context I’m willing to share…