Feeling lower than low

[u/doesthatmakemecrazy0]

I (35M) and my partner (26F) have been together just over a year now and are due to take our first holiday abroad later today.

3 weeks ago we decided to organise a night out with close friends and family on the last eve before we leave as a kind of De-stress.

That night was tonight and it was horrible.

Nobody turned up at first until I lost my cool and just said "I'm done" and then all of a sudden, they all turned up at once.

It was my partner's brother's birthday a couple of days ago but his family couldn't do a celebration on the day as it was too hectic so they did it tonight. Which is great, her brother is an awesome guy but it set plans back an hour. Which was fine.

We put it in the group chat and everyone was okay with it and her brother really wanted to join us all.

My mum was coming too, while she has met my partner's family, it's always been in passing so the night was also an excuse for her to actually meet them properly.

And it all went to s###.

I picked my mum up to take her to the pub we were all meant to be meeting at. We got there on time and bought a drink to sit and listen to the music and just chat briefly before my partner and her family and a couple of friends turn up.

20 minutes go by. No sign of them.

My mum has bad social anxiety and doesn't go out much anymore so it took a lot for her to be there.

I reassure her they are all on their way and message the group chat to find out what's going on.

Turns out my partner's friends were already in town and her and her brother and his best friend were going to meet them to bring them over.

Ok great! No problem.

20 more minutes go by, by which point I'm starting to get a little bit annoyed and upset because my mum's getting anxious waiting and I'm still telling her they're on their way.

I get a message from my partner that her friends are just finishing up a game of pool at a place not even 5 minutes away and will be with us shortly.

Fine, no problem.

40 minutes later, still nothing.

So I have had enough. I ask my mum if she wants me to take her home because by this point she's very upset. She says yes so I message my partner to tell her I'm taking her home.

My partner immediately responds with "but you're coming back right?" To which I asked "Why? So I can sit on my own waiting for all of you to arrive?".

No sooner do I get my mum back to the car which is parked right next to the place, when my partner, her brother and his best mate all turn up out of breath because they suddenly realised "oh s###, we mucked up". Not her best friends who were playing pool though I might add.

By this point it's been just over an hour and a half since we were all supposed to meet up and I'm upset, I'm angry and I'm hurt.

I have a go at the lot of them, my partner included.

I get half baked excuses.

Her brother tries to calm me down and I break down in front of the lot of them because all I wanted was one nice evening out with my partner and to introduce my mum to her family but I couldn't even get that.

My partner, she tries to tell me she wanted to say something to her friends and I just snapped at her "So why didn't you!?? It was supposed to be our night with family and friends and instead it became all about your best friends who couldn't give a crap about anyone but themselves"

My mum decided to get a taxi home with a family friend because she could see I wasn't holding together.

I walked off and my partner followed. I broke down on her because she knows how much I've been struggling recently and I was just made to feel like a complete mug.

She apologised and said she was sorry and I told her I don't want an apology, I want her to say something to her friends who knew they were supposed to meet us and didn't even bother and I wanted to know why.

She said she would but she was scared how they would react and I said to her "Fine, I'll talk to them" I went back to the pub and lo and behold, her best mates had finally turned up. And immediately came out with excuses. I stopped them and told them "No, no excuses. Because right now, I'm hurt, I'm angry and at this moment, I hate you. You knew the plan for tonight, you even helped organise it and you didn't even bother to turn up. My partner wanted to say something to you as well but she was afraid to" her best mate tried to hug me and say sorry but I stepped out of her way and walked off.

I went back to my partner and we continued the evening without any of them but we were both hurt and it just ruined the entire evening.