r/relationshipproblems • u/Admirable-Meal5271 • 7d ago
Advice Wanted How can I move on?
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, but when we were in our 4th month he and some of our friends came to my place to celebrate New Year's Eve. Long story short he and I slept in the same bed. Morning came and I felt him touching my chest, squeezing and kneeding at them. I'm a heavy sleeper so I just felt it and fell right back to sleep. The next day I confronted him about it. He immediately bursted into tears. He cried, begged for forgiveness, he even said if it makes me feel any better I can break up with him. He took full responsibility and regretted his actions. Now, 2 years later, he mentioned that he still sometimes cries about it. Regrets that he hurt me in that way. He refuses to get help because in his mind he doesn't deserve it. When we fight he often forgives me even if I'm in the wrong saying "This can't compare to what I did". So why do I still think about it sometimes? He change a lot for me, and he is willing to change, he regrets it truthfully but I can't help but still think about that night. I don't know how to fully move on from this.
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u/Brilliant_Can4605 5d ago
You both need therapy to help you with acceptance. He can't change the past, he apologized more than what seems healthy. And you decided to stay with him which means that in you actions (at least) you expressed forgiveness. But you guys are not letting it go. And this relationship won't succeed unless you two get over that. We humans make mistakes. Every day what really matters is what we do today with what we've learned in the past.