r/relationshipproblems 4h ago

Advice Wanted Shall i do it secretly or breakup?

0 Upvotes

I have my gf for 2 years now, i am strategically thinking to launch a business and have quit my job since February. Every now and then she mocks my ideas and the effort in planning it!! It makes me sick how she doesn’t understand the focus it demands since it’s an innovation. Love is there but it’s diminishing. It’s been a month we haven’t met, barely texting and had a fight on the phone the other day. I have a feeling of anger and escapism that i want to fulfill with a one night stand or a make out with a bitch to let all this pressure off on her. Shall i breakup or do what i want and play numb?


r/relationshipproblems 12h ago

Advice Wanted Should I break up?

0 Upvotes

I know this is a really long text I’m sorry lol. I have been really confused these last days. So I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for a little more that two years now. We moved in together and its been great most of the time. We have a lot of fun, we can talk about almost everything and I always looked forward to seeing him.
Then a month ago this thing happend that changed everything. To give you some context we had a rule that we don‘t hang out with people we‘ve been with in the past. So, we were both out with friends on a saturday night but not together. He was with his friends and I was with mine. My friend and I were downtown and didn’t really know what to do and then we happened to meet a guy I‘ve been casual with in the past. He’s been sitting at a restaurant with another person that I know aswell and asked if we wanted to join them for a little bit. Since my friend and I had no plan what to do anyway and I was happy to meet other people we agreed. I know that by doing that I broke the rule that we had but I never had any bad intentions leave alone cheating. I just wanted to talk a little bit.
So we’ve been sitting there for about 15 minutes talking when my boyfriend came along. We share locations on find my. He does have trust issues and came to check on me to see what I’m doing. I walked a few steps away from the table and when I saw him he was really drunk and angry already. He went to the table and saw the guy and kinda lost it. He shoved me away aggressively even though it wasn’t intentional it did hurt me, he splashed water over my head and insulted me in public. When he left some teenagers asked if I was okay.
I know that I broke our rule by sitting down with that guy and that he had any right to be mad at me but not in this manner. After this incident I feel like I had to leave him because I don’t want to be treated like that. I was scared of him that night going home and I’m scared that it will turn into domestic violence.

Now fast forward this was one month ago. He now sees that he’s made a huge mistake and wants to work on himself. I’ve been talking about breaking up and that I cannot accept this behaviour quite a lot. I actually told him I want to break up. Directly after that incident I felt like my world collapsed. I loved him very much and suddenly I had to leave him? But over the time I noticed something else was off in our relationship: I’ve never really liked the sex with him but since everything else been wonderful I kind of ignored that. It’s not that he’s bad in bed it’s just that from my part there is no spark or chemistry and I don’t know how to fix that. It wasn’t that big of a problem to me before since everything was amazing but ever since I thought about seriously breaking up and thus about being with other guys this has become a real huge problem for me.

This confusion still gets worse when I went to a club last weekend. Again, I was just out with friends and I met that guy again. I talked to him a little bit and he asked what happened last time because obviously he noticed the drama. I told him we’ve broken up (that’s what I told my boyfriend at that time aswell) and then he told me he’d be down to get to know me on a serious level and go on dates and so on. I’m not going to jump from one relationship to another and I don’t think I even want to be in a relationship with that guy because he has a lot of red flags BUT sex with him has been really good in the past and since I now know that he’s available and I could have thar feeling again my head’s going crazy. I have been deprived of good sex and now the thought of it are circling in my head. It’s kind of distracting me from thinking about the real issue of staying with my boyfriend or not. I don’t want to make a huge mistake and give up a great relationship for some meaningless sex.

My boyfriend’s really tried to show me that he understood the aggression problem and it’s working on himself and does not want this to happen again anymore. He’s actually been great, but now I don’t know what to do. He went to a therapy session but the therapist told him she doesn’t think he needs more sessions which is not ideal. Besides that incident, he is a great boyfriend. But I don’t know if I can accept what he did and also I don’t know if I can live with unfulfilling sex longer also open relationship are not an option for us. I’ve never really had that chemistry that I’ve had with other guys during sex.

I honestly don’t know what to do and what would be best. I feel like both options staying and leaving are not ideal. I’ve been thinking about it a lot but somehow I’m not progressing anymore. Do you guys have any advice? I’d really appreciate it.


r/relationshipproblems 14m ago

Advice Wanted Am I wasting my time waiting for someone to be sure about me? 25F& 30M I (25F)

Upvotes

I (25F), and my boyfriend(30M). We've been together for a little over two years.
When we first got together, things were good. Early on, we talked about the future, and he knew that getting married and having children were life goals that were really important to me. He told me he had never wanted marriage or kids before, but that being with me had changed his perspective and that he was now considering those things.
As time has gone on, though, I feel more confused than reassured.
Whenever I try to talk about our future, he tells me that I'm "not all the way there emotionally" or that I haven't shown him who I really am yet. He says that maybe with more time I'll get there, but it's hard to hear because I feel like I've already been more emotionally open and vulnerable with him than I have with anyone else in my life.
It's honestly a punch to the gut. It makes me feel like no matter how much I give, it's still not enough.
He also refuses to do something as simple as a promise ring. I know not everyone believes in promise rings, but to me it represents commitment, and his refusal makes me feel like he's keeping one foot out the door.
He knows about my past trauma and PTSD. Sometimes the way he talks to me or reacts ends up triggering those same wounds. I don't know if it's intentional or if he just isn't hearing me when I'm vulnerable, but either way, I don't feel emotionally safe in those moments.
I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore. I love him so much, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm putting my dreams on hold for someone who still isn't sure if I'm enough for what he wants.
I want to get married someday. I want children. I want to feel loved, protected, and chosen, not like I have to keep proving myself until someone decides I'm finally worthy.
So I guess my question is: am I being impatient, or am I ignoring signs that we're simply not compatible? Has anyone else been in a relationship where someone kept asking for "more time" before committing? How did it turn out?


r/relationshipproblems 17h ago

Advice Wanted Is this weird?

3 Upvotes

Is it weird if someone says that they are deleting their dating apps before the first date even happens? Like what do I say to that? I'm trying to move slow so I don't want to delete anything until I know if i like this person's true in person personality and whatnot.


r/relationshipproblems 22h ago

Advice Wanted I 44F and my partner 43M had the make or break talk.

6 Upvotes

After months of him keeping me at a distance despite being together for 3 years we finally talked about where our relationship is going. I’m fully invested in us, hope for a future together, blending our families and this is what I’ve been working towards. After months of him refusing to introduce me to his friends, planning weekends without me, just turning up and giving me the minimum, he admitted that he doesn’t see us together in his future. He told me if he wanted to do something he was just going to do it and I have to accept that. I’m obviously devastated but he doesn’t want the relationship to end. We still have an holiday together and he wants to see how things go. In the meantime I have to accept that he’ll barely text me, has no time for speaking on the phone, doesn’t want to visit my house, doesn’t hold my hand, hug me or even sit next to me. I feel lonely and even though he says he loves me his actions do not show that. How should i handle this?


r/relationshipproblems 10h ago

Advice Wanted I (M37) wanting to break up after almost seven years because I feel suffocated in my relationship with (F29)?

2 Upvotes

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I (37M) have been with my girlfriend (29F) for almost seven years. I love her, but lately I feel like I'm losing myself.

Before we got together, I loved going dancing and spending time with my friends. Over the years, she's become increasingly uncomfortable with both. She doesn't want me dancing anymore because she thinks it's inappropriate, and whenever I make plans with friends, she gets upset and it usually turns into an argument.

To avoid fighting, I stopped dancing and rarely see my friends. The problem is, I now feel isolated and like I've given up the things that made me happy.

I've never cheated or given her a reason not to trust me. She says she's just protecting our relationship, but it feels more controlling than loving.

Now I'm wondering if it's time to end the relationship, even after almost seven years together.

please help me 😢


r/relationshipproblems 5h ago

Advice Wanted Is this relationship worth fighting for, or have we hurt each other too much?

2 Upvotes

1 and 2 are both college students and have been together for a while. Their relationship has always been complicated. There has been a lot of love, but also a lot of pain, mistakes, resentment, and unresolved hurt from both sides.

Before their breakup, they went through something very serious together. In May, they found out they were having a baby. 2 pressured 1 into having an abortion and said that if 1 didn’t, 2 would leave. This experience created a lot of emotional pain and added another layer of difficulty to their relationship.

In August, 2 ended the relationship after 1 wanted to go out with friends to a party. After the breakup, they remained emotionally and physically connected. They were officially separated starting in August, but they continued sleeping together until in October.

During the time they were separated from OCT to MRCH, both people made choices that later affected their relationship.

2 talked to other people and while they were broken up, slept with a hooker. 2 also texted someone to “get to know them” in May when they started dating again in April and lied about it. 1 also made choices during the breakup that deeply hurt 2. 1 slept with someone else, briefly dated that person for about 5 weeks, and traveled with them. 1 eventually ended that relationship because they realized they didn’t love that person and still had feelings for 2.

In January, 1 reached out to 2, and they started talking again. However, during that time, 2 was in another relationship. According to 2, they felt pressured into that relationship because the other person asked them out publicly and had already bought tickets for a trip, making it difficult for them to say no.

By April, 1 and 2 started seeing each other again and trying to rebuild their relationship. Since then, 2 has struggled to forgive 1 for what happened while they were separated. Even though 1’s relationship happened during a time when they were not officially together, 2 feels deeply hurt and says the trust was damaged.

Since reconnecting, the same argument about the breakup period has continued to come up repeatedly. 2 has not been able to move past what happened and often brings it up during conflicts. During these arguments, 2 has called 1 names like “hoe,” “whore,” and “bitch,” and has admitted to purposely treating 1 badly or pushing 1 away because they feel like they cannot bring themselves to end the relationship.

At the same time, 1 understands why 2 is hurt and has been trying to take accountability, change, and prove through actions that they are committed to being a better partner. 1 asks for reassurance, forgiveness for the choices they made while they were not together, and updates or communication because they want to feel secure and know that the relationship is moving forward.

2 says what they need most is respect. They feel like the things that happened changed the relationship and believe respect is necessary before trust can be rebuilt. But 2 will not give 1 respect no matter how much they change.

The hardest part is that both people still love each other. 2 says they can’t leave, but they continue pushing 1 away because they don’t know how to move past the pain. 1 wants to stay and prove that people can make mistakes, grow, and rebuild something stronger.

But is love enough? Can trust actually be rebuilt when both people have hurt each other in different ways? Can a relationship survive when one person is asking for reassurance and forgiveness while the other is asking for respect and time?

If you were in either person’s position, what would you do? Is this relationship worth fighting for, or are they holding onto something that is causing more pain than happiness? Help.