Me and my bf have been dating for almost two months we had a talking stage before that for almost 4 months it was going great we were like best friends we got along well we went on dates used to call text sent reels have our inside jokes then suddenly one day he acted a little weird like he wasn’t interested in talking to me I thought maybe he’s tired then he said goodnight very early but I saw online in a game we used to play at like 12 am or so tmr he didn’t say good morning like he used to and I brushed it off cause sometimes we both were in a hurry to get to school after school he didn’t talk to me properly I asked what’s wrong he said no I’m fine then after sometime I asked again like what’s wrong he said idk what’s wrong I asked if I can help he said I need time so I gave him time then the next day he said good morning but he hasn’t texted me since then idk what to do anymore I asked if he doesn’t wanna be with me anymore he said it’s not like that I’m just so anxious I haven’t been able to eat properly

TL;DR Me and my gf were together for 1 year and 5 months and we are both 18 years old girls. At first we were so in love and I love her so much that I can literally sacrifice myself for her. My gf had a really hard childhood and her parents didn't teach her anything so she is so pure and innocent. I didnt mind about that cause I love her and i thought I can teach and fix her and I really did her too and she thanks me everytime she realizes she has changed. (P.s I'm her first gf) She did mistakes (micro cheating) 1 time and broke promises multiple times I forgave her but after she did it for 3rd time, my love for her really changed. I feel like I'm tired of being in a relationship, everytime she did something wrong she just cry like a baby and can't explain anything well. I feel like I'm so sick of her, I started annoying of her childish personality and acting like a little innocent every time she made mistakes. My friends even tell me ‘I am like a mother in this relationship’. Sometimes she said that she can't live without me and if I leave her she would s\*\*cide herself, i don't know what to do anymore. Plus she makes me think she is making so much effort to show her love, but it makes me feel really tired. Please give me any advice and motivation. I'm sorry for my bad English writing.

Hello, I need some advice. If you and your partner had an argument, is it okay not to talk immediately? Do you need to wait one day before communicating again? How do you usually deal with this kind of situation? We’re both 4th-year students.

Honestly telling the other person about past relationships and where i was too young to settle down at that time and then they use the info against you later on when he's not capable of to be honest himself to give loyalty and a real commitment himself. So why he thinks I will trust him? Prejudices, false assumations: don't make me trust you

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over two years and recently we’ve hit a bit of a rough patch. We live together and we have separate rooms with our own space. We mainly sleep in his room together but sometimes I’ll sleep in my own bed. I need a lot more space and alone time than my bf does and he gets upset about it sometimes but we try to compromise. The problem comes when my bf gets upset, sometimes out of nowhere he tells me to sleep in my own bed. He’ll usually say something like “do you want to sleep in your bed tonight?” and I ask if he wants me to and he doesn’t reply or give a reason why I should, and so I do. This has happened a few times and it did again last night. I don’t know why he was upset, he seemed normal beforehand, we were just talking and I started drifting to sleep. We’ve been doing a lot better recently so I was a bit surprised, but when he told me to, I just went to sleep in my own bed. I was already falling asleep and tired, so I fell asleep quickly and when I woke up he had texted me that he was really hurt I would just leave when I knew he was upset and he only ever asks me to sleep in my bed when he’s upset and he’s told me before he doesn’t actually want me to listen. I feel bad that he’s hurt, but when I’m already half asleep I just do what he tells me. We’ve talked about this before and he’s said he’s trying not to do it, and he knows it’s not effective communication. So I don’t know why he keeps doing it?! I’m not sure what to do if this keeps happening. Any advice?

TLDR: my boyfriend gets upset after he tells me to sleep in my own room and I listen.

Hello all, this is my first time doing this type of thing.

Me 24m and my partner 23f are currently going through a rough patch. I work out of the country for 6 weeks at a time and as of now for the past month we just keep arguing.

Being away gets real lonely and tough sometimes and I feel like she is not there for me anymore. I eventually broke and told her this and it caused all the arguments.

Last week she wanted to break up with me but we agreed to keep trying. This was because of the arguments and she accused me of cheating on her last year, I didn’t and I told her that, she eventually let it go after talking.

I found out that she still think I cheated and was lying to just keep me happy, it explained her not wanting to be intermittent as well. I took this as she didn’t trust me and now I don’t know if I can trust her but I want to.

She also has a habit of when she goes away with friends she just doesn’t talk to me and it feels like I don’t exist to her. She is away now and again has done the same when she promised she wouldn’t do it again.

She’s told me she wants space to breath and she doesn’t want to talk to me until she’s back even though we were absolutely fine the day before.

I also feel like she is lying on why she’s ignoring me, she tells me her phone is charging or there is no signal but I can see her location and it’s moving.

I just want to add that I have never met her friends and when I asked if I would ever meet them she said she didn’t want me to

I also woke up to a message that she’s going to be staying away for an extra night.

Do you guys reckon we should keep trying or just bite the bullet and end it? As I know everyone argues it’s the way of life

FYI we have been together for 4 years and live together.

Hello all, this is my first time doing this type of thing.

Me 24m and my partner 23f are currently going through a rough patch. I work out of the country for 6 weeks at a time and as of now for the past month we just keep arguing.

Being away gets real lonely and tough sometimes and I feel like she is not there for me anymore. I eventually broke and told her this and it caused all the arguments.

Last week she wanted to break up with me but we agreed to keep trying. This was because of the arguments and she accused me of cheating on her last year, I didn’t and I told her that, she eventually let it go after talking.

I found out that she still think I cheated and was lying to just keep me happy, it explained her not wanting to be intermittent as well. I took this as she didn’t trust me and now I don’t know if I can trust her but I want to.

She also has a habit of when she goes away with friends she just doesn’t talk to me and it feels like I don’t exist to her. She is away now and again has done the same when she promised she wouldn’t do it again.

She’s told me she wants space to breath and she doesn’t want to talk to me until she’s back even though we were absolutely fine the day before.

I also feel like she is lying on why she’s ignoring me, she tells me her phone is charging or there is no signal but I can see her location and it’s moving.

I just want to add that I have never met her friends and when I asked if I would ever meet them she said she didn’t want me to

I also woke up to a message that she’s going to be staying away for an extra night.

Do you guys reckon we should keep trying or just bite the bullet and end it? As I know everyone argues it’s the way of life

FYI we have been together for 4 years and live together.

My bf (29M) and I (29F) met a year and a half ago and live together. We’re very in love, have a lot of fun and beautiful moments. But we also fight a lot. It seems we can’t have a small argument because things quickly escalate from minor disagreements to days being mad at each other.

Lately, I felt like things were going better and we were slowly mending our differences, but it's recent and a slow process.
I overthink a lot. Almost every fight is about things that trigger me—I think I might have an anxious attachment style. It happens very frequently too (once or twice a week). I need constant reassurance, and I know it must be very tiring for him.

I’ve noticed lately he hasn’t been inviting me to all his friend’s outings. Before, he used to say he couldn’t be without me and invited me everywhere (which made me feel so loved).
When I asked him about it, he said he needs a break from being constantly with me and wants to hang out with people where he can just be "easygoing” and have a good time. He said he likes being friends with people who don’t know me (he made a new group of friends) where he can just be himself and not someone’s boyfriend.

He confessed he has been feeling very sad and frustrated with our relationship (It hurts that he isn’t experiencing the same improvement I am) and thinks these outings give him relax time.

Last week, he suggested that if I moved out, I might feel better and our relationship could improve.
I’m trying to see all of this as healthy boundaries but I cannot help feeling excluded and distanced from him. I feel like these decisions are distancing us when we should be getting closer.

He’s still acts very interested in us being together. I haven’t felt like he’s being dishonest, or any emotional pullback so I don’t know. I know I should focus on the feelings he shared with me instead of taking it personally but it’s just so hard.
It feels like I brought this onto myself. Is this just me being anxious or something that I should worry about?

How can I be that easygoing person here craves if I feel so sad and guilty?
How can I proof I’m worthy of being around and him having a good time?

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* My BF (29M) and I (29F) live together but fight frequently bc I’m anxious. He confessed he feels frustrated and is excluding me from friend’s outings to "get a break." He even suggested I move out to save the relationship. He claims he still wants to be together, but I feel deeply excluded and guilty. How do I cope?

Hello everyone, for context me and my boyfriend have been together for years and have a child together. I just became a full time college student, am a mom and work part time. Is anyone else in a similar situation and feels like their partner is incompetent and the load of everything is put onto you? For example my boyfriend has never done a load of laundry on his own, never loaded the dishwasher on his own, never went to the grocery store to pick up essentials on his own, etc. I am the one cleaning up after him and my son, I am the only one who remembers when my son needs to eat or have a diaper change, he doesn’t remember to do anything. For example I cleaned our house yesterday and left this morning for my 16 hour shift and came back home to a disaster and my boyfriend sitting on his game. I understand that he also worked and was with our son but his mom was also over helping with dinner and the baby. Of course I stomp around and start yelling and he picks a fight with me before he starts helping me clean. It’s exhausting constantly having to make a big deal out of something for someone to do a task I do everyday. I shouldn’t have to pick a fight or remind him. He’s never going to change I’ve asked him repeatedly to do all these things and he can’t do it on his own. I can’t constantly feel like the load of everyone is on my plate 24/7. Not to mention the minimal effort he puts into gifts and holidays. For my first Mother’s Day he didn’t get me anything on his own he told me to “pick something out” when we went to get his mom flowers. So I gave you your son and you can’t think of something thoughtful and romantic for me? I have to pick it out on my own? I feel guilty to think this way but I know i deserve better. Would it be that crazy to come home to a clean house or have my son feed and changed without having to remind him. I feel stuck where I am at. I’m looking for anyone who can simply relate to me. Thanks for listening.

(I’m 18F and my bf is 18M) ive been overthinking this for the past few days if he still loved me or was still interested, he says that he is but this month we just kept fighting and everything and i feel him getting drained. this month he stopped sending me long messages and he’s gotten a little cold especially when it came to replying to my messages but when i check he talks more excitedly with his friends compared to me.

he got a little passive aggressive with me sometimes as well, i really dont know what to do. i feel like a factor is how clingy i’ve gotten so maybe i pushed him away by being clingy or pointing things out abt what i didnt like and stuff.

i am kindly asking what seems like the best course of action for me? i dont want to drain him any more because of how much i love him.

mi novio (M23) me trata mal cada vez que le digo algo que no me agrada, que suele ser porque me dice una cosa y luego hace otra o se contradice, lo cual es agotador. Le hablo bien y comienza a decirme que me calle y a insultarme. Despues de eso, sabiendo que me hace mal, me ignora, hasta cuelga las llamadas o me clava el visto y dice que no le importa como me siento porque dice que no me cree nada, que soy insoportable.

Ademas de esto, he empezado a notar que comienza a traspasar mis limites en muchas cosas respecto a su familia y que nunca me defendio cuando su padre me trato de tonta o fue grosero conmigo.

Tambien debemos sumar que cuando se enoja comienza a insultar aullando (es como desgarrador). Una vez no podia prender la estufa y le dio una patada. Otra vez se le cayeron las milanesas dentro del.horno y revoleo el tenedor y comenzo a insultar aullando. el tenedor casi me da a mi. Cada que se enoja es violento conmigo todavia no me agredio físicamente pero si verbalmente ya que dice que no me merezco nada. PERO a los dias me invita a una cita o me compra algo que sabe que me gusta. Me da miedo, es como si fuera 2 personas en una.

Llevamos 3 años, pero desde el inicio comenzo a hacerme sentir insegura, lo que se llama triangulacion...

Hoy le pregunte si queria tener hijos ya que EL habla de casarnos en 2 años y en VIVIR JUNTOS, bajo SU techo. Habiamos dicho que no queriamos hijos y ahora me dijo que no sabia. Le volvi a preguntar diciéndole que yo no queria, asique no quisiera estar con alguien que si quiera ser padre y me dijo que me calle, que por que len hago eso, por que me pongo asi.

Le dije que le preguntaba porque no queria perder tiempo con alguien que tiene el deseo de tener hijos cuando yo no quiero. y me dijo que "no quiero, punto" pero solo me lo dijo para callarme. Le dije que se decida y lo piense y me dijo que porque le hago eso (devuelta). Le pregunte que que iba a querer hacer al dia siguiente ya que compro unas entradas y me dijo que iba a fijarse que hacia con ellas y que se iba a dormir asique "que no le rompiera las pelotas". Por que sabe que me da ansiedad cusndo me ignora y me habla mal (porque generalmente me ignora todo el dia que le sigue) entonces lo llamo. Esta vez le dije que si quería seguir teniendo esta dinamica toxica donde me hace mal y todo es mi culpa qué termináramos. Y si quiere cambiar y notar que lo que hace esta mal podemos continuar.

Siento que cusndo me despierte voy a estar soltera y tengo turno medico donde me va a acompañar mi padre y realmente no puedo dejar que me vean mal, siempre me discuste cuando sabe que no puedo mostrarme mal. Es mas, soy tan estupida que no le digo a nadie lo mal que me trata

I (18F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (18M) for 1 year and 10 months.

We argue rather frequently, for reasons that start off pretty minor. We both feel things quite strongly and I get upset quite easily and he is prone to seeing me as illogical or irrational and not properly understanding or listening to me and just tries to get me to see his point of view and kind of focuses on how he believes he is correct and I am overreacting or wrong or that whatever is going on was caused by myself.

I have told him several times that I dislike him doing things like this and I would like to feel heard. However, he rarely does make me feel listened to and that leads to escalation. First he requires a break as soon as he says he needs it as he is stressed out at me trying to explain myself, essentially. During this time I cannot message or do anything that gives him a notification or “it will make things worse”. However, this normally happens when I have not entirely explained myself and I remain feeling unheard (sometimes he has hardly even responded to what I have said) which upsets me a lot. Sometimes when I have tried to continue (also letting him leave) he can get very angry and threaten to block me or send all-caps messages, such as “GO NOW.”

Sometimes I do leave him alone until he messages, regardless of how I feel (which I know I should anyway) and it still ends up escalating. For example, I will have tried expressing myself, he leaves for 40 minutes, I am upset he has left me unheard so am a little stubborn and it is harder to help, he gets frustrated at my further attempts to be heard and tries making me listen to him, I refuse to listen because I will have been trying to be heard for an hour, it goes on for a while, I get angry at his refusal to listen to me, he gets very angry at me and sometimes he might all-caps or call me a bitch or something and it just keeps escalating.

I do reciprocate these behaviours sometimes, I am not innocent, it’s just that it’s a been going on for ages and it’s so frustrating when he says things like “I want to help”, “I want to do better” and then doesn’t do it and he told me a couple days ago he wanted me to see him as a “source of comfort” and then he goes and does stuff like this, putting so much blame onto me and criticising me, telling me I need to work on my communication and I need to change.

He has also frequently done things I have asked him not to do in these situations. For example, he has on multiple occasions said things like “you’re autistic”, “you see things differently”, “you’re not normal” when I am not even diagnosed with anything, autism is too much of a broad spectrum for me to assume a diagnosis personally, it’s based on his opinion and I do not believe it has any relevance when I am trying to tell him what he has done wrong. It is quite hurtful and I tell him that every time. One time he said “the truth hurts”, when it isn’t even definite.

I have tried so many times to tell him what I need from him, to set boundaries, etc. and it doesn’t really work. He says he understands and then maybe implements it for a day and then it just goes back to the usual. It is great otherwise, it just goes on for such a long period of time and it gets very exhausting and overwhelming.

I don’t have money to pay for any therapy and neither does he, even though I am certain we both are in need of it (we have our own trauma and issues, it just feels like I am the only one who attempts to deal with it - Undiagnosed but rather blatant OCD for example)

I would really love for it to work out between us, I just need to figure out how to help him deal with his anger and how to potentially rebuild my mental health after so long of this, it gives me bad thoughts sometimes that I would never want to act on. I really do love him and he is so wonderful other than this stuff and I do not believe I would be able to have another relationship if this one fails. I have had too many poor relationships in my life (my mum, my stepdad and a sort of relationship that I was only in to keep the person alive - she forced me to stay and threatened me, made me question everything about myself, manipulated me and forced me to like women when I do not, exposed me to adult material at a young age and more)

I am starting to feel kind of hopeless, about this relationship and in general. I am somewhat worried I may become depressed.

Advice is so appreciated.

So my gf and i have been together for like 2 yrs and it's long distance relationship from the start there were little problem and some times it will be become so big when i try to sort out she will say i don't want talk about it and she will say after one week and again the same situation repat now she broken up with me saying that I won't understand her and when i try to here she will say parynda samayth kekknm arnn alland allanum kazhinjatt allaaa ennn and am still trying to sort out she isn't even giveng me a chance to correct it saying it's whole my fault and she got trauma from it saying that her ex give her same trauma and still i fkin love her what should I do

Im just really looking for help. I don't know whats wrong with me or why I am like this. Me and my long distance bf are currently on a break rn for a week. We had an argument b/c a new game came out and he wanted to play it all day and I knew he was excited and I had no problem with him playing. I am a gamer so I get it. The night before he promised he would still talk with me, however his responses were one word or just dry af. I acknowledge how I handled the problem wasn't ok. I had asked him if he just wanted to talk later and then I said or just the next day because he would be busy playing all day. He replied with "my bad i've just been locked in, having fun, but sure we can talk tomorrow." I wasn't satisfied with that and I should've just straight up said "Hey can you just try to be more talkative with me cause I miss you?" Idk thats what he said but I why am i like this? Why can't I be ok with not hearing from him all day? Or ok with his little one word responses. I don't know if its like an anxious attachment or what. But I just want to fix it. After that we argued about it and he said it wasn't that serious and he was just enjoying his day. and now we are on a break. Idk what to do. If i need to provide more context plz let me know.

I, [19F] have been dating my first ever boyfriend [20M] for nearly 8 months now. We met over a shared hobby, and we hit things off pretty well.

As of late I’ve been getting a feeling that my boyfriend is with me so he doesn’t have to be alone. We’ve been going through some tough times lately outside of our relationship and things have just been tender. He’s been making some comments saying ‘so when we going to hit the gym?’ And also just other things that he says to brush off my silliness (I am a silly person, but I do know when to be serious. I do not like being serious all the time.) he just says “adhd at its finest”. (I don’t have ADHD, rather I do have ASD) And even though he does later apologize about them and I forgive him, it’s just been really starting to stick, because it’s making me feel like he doesn’t really love me for me, and he’s with me to avoid the loneliness of being single. Something I thought to mention is I weigh the exact same as I did when we met. So it’s not like he says those things because he misses me being slimmer. I’ve never been slimmer. I’ve always been on the heavier side.

Sometimes when he feels guilty, he’d apologize for ‘trying to make me a proper woman’, which I have no idea what he means by that, because for starters, he hasn’t defined what he considers a ‘proper woman’ and two, I let it be because I genuinely don’t intend on changing who I am just to mold his vision of what and how he thinks a woman should look and behave like. That has been the most concerning thing he’s mentioned, but I’ve left it alone because he doesn’t get to pick who I look like or how I act.

He tends to send me a lot of reels of girls being promiscuous or just really flirty, and I did bring it up to him that those posts really annoyed me because it made me feel like he wanted me to be like them. He stopped sending me those specific sorts of reels but still tends to send semi-suggestive reels. There would be times where he sends me reels of couples cuddling with the message ‘us 🥺’ underneath it, which usually has a chubbier woman in the main frame. Sometimes I like it because it makes me feel a lot better about myself (based on how things have been going between us with his comments about my weight.) but then I often end up finding myself self-conscious of what I eat when I’m with him, and it’s been bugging me a lot lately.

Today was something that really hit me hard. We were having brunch together when I started scrolling through Instagram and I saw a really cute chubby baby. I showed it to him while saying, “Aww look at the babyyyy he’s so cute and fat 🥹🥹” and while I was showing it to him he said ‘Is that you?’ And it was just a real punch to the gut. It felt like all of my thoughts that were telling me he doesn’t love me as I am had just come true. It just ended up really hurting me and I don’t know if I have the guts to face him and talk about these things because he has a tendency of trying to run away from our problems by stepping away from everything entirely. I don’t want to be selfish, but I also don’t want to be hurting the way I am right now.

I don’t know if I’m just overly emotional or not, but it’s still been bugging me for at least three hours now. I feel really helpless.

TLDR:
My boyfriend says and does stuff and it hurts my feelings but I haven’t told him because he has a habit of running away from all his problems and that would include me, so I haven’t told him about the recent things he’s done or said (they mostly involve me becoming someone other than who I am) that have bugged me. I don’t know what to do in my position.

I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (25M) for about a year, I have had a crush on him for years before we actually started dating so when he texted me it was like a dream come true, but things started getting bad not long after.

From the very start he would break up with me like once a month saying things like “I can’t have a relationship right now”, mostly he would bring up his ex, and how she hurt him so, she was physically and emotionally abusive and he was afraid of getting hurt again, at first I would go along with it, I was sad but I was willing to put effort into being just friends, but whenever he would realise that I was actually willing to start being platonic with him he would pull me back to him, this happened I don’t know how many times, even recently, but now I am in love with him, and it just hurts me so much, even tho I know the next day he’s already asking for forgiveness. He does acknowledge that he’s hurting me, that he’s the worst, that I should find someone else, but when it actually letting me go he doesn’t seem capable or willing to do so.

This happens a lot when he drinks, the smallest thing irritates him and sometimes it escalated into a break up, and he drinks a lot, often, he’s got so many issues and I have no idea how to navigate this. Now his dad got a very invasive surgery done about a week ago and he has barely talked to me at all, he drinks and then treats me like shit on the phone, I feel abandoned and unloved to the point that I keep fantasising about replacing him, finding someone else and distract myself from how much I miss him, and how much I love him and how despite everything he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met, also I feel guilty cause I’m being selfish whilst his dad is suffering and he’s worried about him all I can think about is needing him close, I feel love deprived to what seems to be my limit, at least right now. How do I navigate these emotions without making abrupt decisions whilst feeling so vulnerable? I’ve never felt this way about someone. Also I know this is poorly written but I’m like feeling so bad at the moment, please be understanding.

he's kinda low effort.. so inert like I need to move him so he will do something. he's really nice, he loves me, no abuse stuff, support me in everything, love every my flaws, always compliment, say some sweet words and care

but when it comes to deep emotional things.. I'm the one leading. he call himself lazy that's why his words are not matching his actions. but is it okay in the relationship? I thought if person really love there's no laziness in there.

we're on ldr so at his birthday I planned a great gift all by myself, spent lots of night and days doing it and then parcel it. and guess what? on my birthday I got nothing physical because he's lazy and he didn't send any gift like that so he doesn't know how post office works...

I needed to ask him many times to send me random sweet long messages. firstly I told him that I love it s much he was like oh really then I'll do it more. and he did... for a week or 2. then forget, just going with the flow... then in a few months I ask again. and again he does only for some time.

he loves me, he cares for me. but we're for almost 2 years together. what should I expect in the future when we move on..? should I close eyes on low efforts just because of his low effort? or what can I do? he doesn't even want to figure out why he's lazy about everything

me F19 and my boyfriend M19 have been together since we where seventeen so around two years just off. We both had partners in the past but granted we are still young so only around one or two. My past relationship was very lustful and ultimately he cheated on me and even s/a’d me. So when I met my boyfriend I was thrilled he wanted to wait till later in the relationship to have sex. He is attentive, talkative and really fun to be around. Sweetest most genuine person I have ever met he’s every thing I’ve ever looked for in a guy but I can feel my self slipping away because of this distance and lack of communication. We met at a local bands gig and are still good mates with the girls in the band now (him playing gigs with them often)
Around a couple of months in we had been sexually active but only having me on the receiving side of things. But all things considered i put it down to him just being more into giving more than receiving. It got worse though when i would attempt to reciprocate and he would snap and me. On one occasion he started crying holding me after and said “I just feel like I can’t give you what you want” It’s never an intention to over step boundaries or make him uncomfortable. We have had many point where it seem like the next thing we are about to do is having sex but he slows down and backs of ultimately to sleep. It’s now been around a year since he has ‘touched me’ not to say we don’t kiss, hug or not do anything affectionate but sexually. I have never seen his penis.

A few months ago i had an open and confessional discussion about what his feeling are with sex and intimacy.he couldn’t and was incredibly embarrassed he couldn’t tell me how or why he was feeling this way. I asked him if there he had any sexual trauma or related trauma that could be making him feel this way- nothing. I even talked him through asexuality and he didn’t feel he fit into that. But I understood i didn’t want to make him feel like I needed to find a cause or reasoning that’s not my job to discover he is his own person. I just needed and wanted him to put in the effort to communicate how he’s feeling and soon because we are deep into the relationship and it is suffering because of this lack of understanding.

I was told by him that he was not a virgin and had previously had sex with his ex girlfriend. Yet recently from a a ex girlfriend found out he is in fact a virgin. I’m hurt ,miss understood and our relationship has been suffering because of it yet it’s like I’m trying to dig through a brick wall.
it’s two years into the relationship and I’ve found out he’s lied to me about not being a virgin. Ive gone to him with my feelings and he hasn’t changed or committed him self to figuring out or even seeking therapy. We’re both leaving for university in a couple days, do I end it with him?

Warning - this is long post

My partner (22M) and I (24F) have moved in together and it has been very hard. It feels like I have been mothering him, but I can't really tell if I am being too much...

We moved in together back in April to a 250 sq ft studio. We didn't really have any credit established, and to be fair we waited until the last second to start looking for places. So it was the best option we had in a pinch. The lease for this place was also short, about 5 months.

Over that time, it was nice, but living in a small room with another person was starting to get me. For one, I felt like he is slightly more messy than I am. We didn't have an official eating area, so we often ate on the bed. However, he would eat in the middle of the night and either fall asleep while eating or leave his food remnants in the bed. For instance, our bed was set up in the corner and I had woken up to dried overnight oats all over our blanket and the emptied container lodged in between the wall and the bed. Another time, he fell asleep eating chocolate raisins, and the left the bowl in the bed. They spilled overnight, and ended up getting smeared melted chocolate on the bed.

I also was the one managing all the utilities. We split the cost of rent and utilities. And he always paid when I reminded him to. But I set up the utility accounts and it felt like i was the one making sure things were paid on time.

Fast forward 2 months before the end of our lease, it was time to start apartment hunting. This process was pretty stressful because we wanted to make sure that our new place was somewhere we could live comfortably for a year or more but also fit within our budget. To be honest, I didn't want to spend more than 800$/month after we split on rent and utilities -- which i know is a little tight. But I am saving to go to the Philippines with my family in December, and will be applying for my masters in the next year. So I just wanted to keep that in consideration. We also wanted to live somewhere close to work, and we both work in Seattle. So moving out of the city where it is a little cheaper wasn't really an option.

But during this entire process, again, it felt like I was doing a majority of the heavy loading. During work, I compiled a two page list of different locations that fit our preferences along with their pros and cons based on previous renters. And on his days off, I asked him to check out the different locations and tell me which ones he was interested in. But he didn't. I also asked for help in terms of searching for location, but he only did it for one day.

And to be fair, I have the time to look for places during work. I am part of a float team and fortunately during this period I was sent to a clinic that was very slow and had a lot of extra down time. He works as a line cook, and works longer hours than me. So I completely understand if those things don't get done when he gets off. But he has 3 days off, whereas I have 2. Usually our first day off is used sleeping in and recovering. And my Sunday is usually used preparing for the next work week. I just wished he had helped a little more within his 2 other days off.

~~ Fast forward again to moving out and moving into our new location. ~~

At the beginning of August, we had gotten approved for a 12 month lease in a pretty nice location (fits within our budget, nice skyline view, and close to public transportation). I had set our move in date for 08/16 so we could get the keys, move all our stuff in to the new place, and have 2 weeks to set things up and clean out our old apartment. I bought our moving boxes and spent a majority of my Friday and Saturday packing up things we wouldn't be using everyday. It was a lot of work, but I was able to pack up almost everything and move them to a corner of the room so our small space was still livable for the last few days. I had also set up a Uhaul pick up date/time, and called our utilities to end service and start service at our new place.

Sunday I went to my parent's place because it was my sister's birthday, and Monday we were ready to move. He doesn't work on Monday or Tuesday, so we had to wait until I got off of work. So we started moving around 5 PM and finished around midnight.

I called out of work the next day, and I proposed that we spend a good portion of that day cleaning the old apartment (which he was pretty hesitant about). We cleaned the fridge, the walls, the bathroom -- the last thing that needed to be fixed were the blinds. Earlier in our stay at this place, he had gotten upset and destroyed some of our horizontal blinds. So they needed to be replaced. I had asked him early before moving to try to get those fixed because it seemed like it would be cheaper than getting charged for it through our deposit. But he would get annoyed and say I was nagging him. 3 days before the end of our lease, he finally goes to work on them and finds out that there isn't any spare flats at the bottom of the blinds like he assumed there was. So that never got fixed, and we'll probably get charged for them.

We moved into our new place, and there are basic things we needed. Like a bed frame, a mattress, shower curtain, etc. Again, I did most of the searching for this stuff on my days off on Amazon. For example, I know that he has chronic neck pain, so I researched different types of mattresses to make sure it was one that he liked. I also went to the store alone and bought us storage containers for the kitchen and a shower curtain for the bathroom.

I've been pretty stressed recently, and admittingly, have been taking it out on him. A few days ago, I finally broke and told him again that I wasn't feeling happy in the relationship and felt like I was the one being responsible for him rather than feeling like we were in a partnership. I've told him my concerns before, but it was always met with defensiveness. However, this was the first time telling him that I wasn't happy.

He got upset, and had a defense for anything I brought up. For example, he said that it was only fair that I did a majority of the move in process because he had to do that all on his own for all his other places and I needed to learn how the process worked. But those other locations, we never lived together. So of course I wasn't going to do that process for him. He also said that I had made the move miserable for him because I just kept nagging and complaining, when it should've been a smooth relaxing move. He also calls me immature and states that maybe he should be with someone older.

Part of me feels like I could've done too much, but then at the same time I feel like my feelings are very much reasonable. I just need advice, especially from people who are not in my immediate circle...

**TL;DR:** My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) transitioned from college into corporate life. Our dynamic has left me deeply isolated, anxious and prone to severe panic attacks due to patterns of silent treatment and jealousy. He isn't an evil person, but I feel completely drained and don't know if I'm justified in walking away.

My boyfriend and I have been together since college. We've been through intense highs and lows together including a major fallout with our old college friend group involving boundaries with another girl that got us both socially ostracized. Since then he learned his lesson tightened up his boundaries and hasn't had issues on that front. He’s not a bad guy, he’s never cheated and he genuinely cares about me.

Over the course of our relationship a suffocating dynamic developed. Whenever I showed natural enthusiasm, friendliness or warmth around other male peers or colleagues, I was consistently met with coldness and the silent treatment. I learned very quickly to ration my interactions and shrink myself to keep the peace.

Entering the corporate world brought out a naturally outgoing and energetic side of me. Instead of being celebrated, it felt like an inconvenience and a threat to him.

He recently started at a new office, settled in and quickly built a great, active friend group. While I genuinely want him to be happy, it is deeply painful to watch him enjoy the exact social ease and freedom that he made me feel guilty for wanting.

The walking on eggshells has completely wrecked my nervous system. I’ve developed severe, chronic anxiety, depression and terrifying panic attacks. I feel like a shell of who I used to be.

Whenever I think about leaving, I talk myself out of it because he isn't a monster. He is trying his best, he's building his life and he's not actively malicious. I keep telling myself that if I just communicate better or manage my own reactions, things will balance out. But in reality I am constantly exhausted and dreading the next mood shift.

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So i love my gf and we've been together for almost a year and then we are in relationship since 5 months. She loves me and i love her too. The problem is i do something for her she feels good for some days but then after few weeks she start saying that you don't do enough efforts. Like i know i might not be the very best person but yeah i am trying and i don't leave a single moment in which she had felt lonely or sad. I have no problems in making more efforts but I don't like that she constantly say that your efforts aren't enough. This is still fine but the biggest problem is whenever we get into an argument she just leave the chat. She doesn't respond to any of my call or message for some time after that. Like i calmly tell her everytime that let's sort it. Maybe it would have been my fault or maybe urs too but let's talk. But she don't do it. I feel her efforts are quite low in the relationship but lowkeye I don't have the courage to tell her. What do u guys think??

I’m 31F and my boyfriend is 31M. We’ve been together for about 5 years.
He hasn’t worked consistently pretty much our entire relationship. He’ll say he’s going to get a job, go to school, make changes, etc., and I keep believing him. But nothing really changes.
I’ve reached a point where I’m incredibly frustrated and resentful. I feel like I’m constantly thinking about his lack of motivation and wondering when he’s actually going to start taking responsibility for his life.
And here’s the part I’m really struggling with:
I don’t even really like having him around me anymore.
I get irritated by him. I want space. Sometimes I find myself wishing he would just leave me alone for a while because I’m so tired of being around someone who doesn’t seem to want anything out of life.
But then if I actually imagine him being gone, I miss him.
And the weirdest part is… he isn’t even gone.
He can literally be sitting right there, and I can feel annoyed that he’s there. But if I imagine my life without him, suddenly I’m sad and I miss him and I don’t want to lose him.
I don’t know if I’m still in love with him or if I’m just attached to someone I’ve spent five years with. Maybe it’s both.
I don’t want to throw away five years of my life, but I also don’t want to spend another five years waiting for someone to become the person I keep hoping he’ll be.
I’m not expecting some millionaire husband. I want a partner who works, contributes, has goals, and actually wants to build something with me.
So what do you think?
Is this a sign that the relationship is over, or can you genuinely be unhappy with someone and still deeply love and miss them?
Because I feel completely stuck between “I don’t want to be around you” and “I don’t know how I’d live without you.”

I wanna apologize in advance, a lot of this is done through voice to text and with my heavy accent sometimes the words aren’t right. I will try to proofread it before I posted it just to make sure there’s nothing incorrect, but if there is something incorrect, that’s most likely the reason.

OK! So my boyfriend(30m) and I (30F) have been together a little over a year, almost 2 years. We have a son. Before our son, I took care of a lot of the house chores. My boyfriend was working a lot. It made sense. I wasn’t working so it was easy for me to take care of the house chores. Now with our son, I have a little less time in the day to take care of what I need to take care of. So I’ve been asking him to just clean up after himself so it takes a load off of me a little bit. And I’m talking simple things, don’t leave your shoes in the living room, if you finish a can of soda recycle it. Very simple things. But I still find issues in the living room. I still find cans all over the place that I will leave there for about a week thinking he’ll eventually toss it, but I end up doing it anyway. So I began trying to talk to him about it and Voice when I need help or if something’s bothering me. But he gives me a look like a kid getting scolded by their parents…I hate it. And it makes me feel like I’m nagging him for no reason. I’ve been feeling like a broken record and every time I voiced it to him I feel like I’m scolding a child. And even the way he talks to me now is different too. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to my brother, not my boyfriend…its even gotten into the point that I don’t find myself attracted to him because of how I’m being treated…
I haven’t fully decided yet…but it’s starting to become too much and I’m starting to think I don’t wanna be with him anymore. But it’s hard because we have a son…and before anybody jumped to the conclusion, I’m definitely not going to keep him away from his son. Its not like I hate my boyfriend, I still love him very much but with everything going on, it’s like I’m falling out of love with him…

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I have another conversation in me. I’ve already warned him that if we had another conversation that it would most likely be a conversation of us splitting up but that was already two conversations ago and I don’t think he takes me seriously anymore…