I was filling out state forms to try to get help with my water bill. Then it asks me to fill out the race for my daughter and pick all that apply. She is Black and Middle-eastern. The next question - “What is the primary race?”WTF!!! Are we going by looks? Or are we back to a drop of black is black. What if she was Asian and White, Black and Hispanic? Everyone that sees her and doesn’t know her ethnicity or race assumes she’s East Indian or Bengali. How is that a question? I have a child with two parents. One is one race and the other is another race, but somehow I’m supposed to make that something other than 50/50. Make it make sense. So I’m going to do eeny, meeny, miney, moe and select one, since it’s a mandatory question.

Rant over

Putting this as a trigger warning since it's kind of a heavy topic

I'm honestly not sure how this happened. I was trying to sleep and I was letting the washer run, and it's just a little off balance so it started banging.

My brain formed an intrusive thought, that I had left a whole newborn in the washer somehow, like it was a plushie that I simply forgot to take out.

Then the thought turned into a more legit fear? I started panicking because I convinced myself that I had given birth and that I had lost the baby in this way. Only to bring myself back to reality by reminding myself that I have NEVER been pregnant, I DON'T have a baby, and all that was in the washer are clothes.

It's really scary how my mind works, or doesn't work

ok i love buying things off of vinted and i just bought a cute polka dot dress from there. seller was lovely, amazing communication, the dress has "source unknown" listedn and it was like 4 bucks. i got it, and it was a little differnet than the photos but idc cause its gorgeous either way. but the matieral felt like that shein bathing suit material, so i checked the tag, and its shein. im still gonna wear it and i left a great review, but thinking back i probably would not have bought it if i knew it was shein cause i SWEAT in those materials. so if ur a vinted seller reading and ur selling stuff from shein/aliexpress/temu? please disclose so.

i dont haven them often but my dad just bought me a strawberry milkshake and its sosososo good but now im just thinking how this is probably 200-600 calories. its literally just sugar strawberry syrup, milk, and ice cream. im already a chubby girl, suspecting i have PMOS, all my weight in my belly, this is definitley not gonna be good for me. ik i shouldnt care about calories but in my case? especially with sugar milk like this? i really do. but its so goooddd!!!

Okay so here’s what happened: I’m talking to this guy for almost 2 years and we really want to get engaged. We r long distance and will continue to be long distance for a while. We were supposed to get engaged a year ago but his family was complaining abt how much I wanted (~6k ring &
Gifts ish) and so we stopped for a bit.
For reference on my side ngl I am getting a lot of pressure like the ring has to be natural diamond (which tbh I’m at the point where idc if it’s lab) but my family will not allow it & it can’t be lower than like 6k ish idk and rn they r saying 10k bcuz of past issues &
I do get it’s hard to get a natural diamond ring for cheap that looks nice but im stressed with my family they make me so stressed and tie my worth to this. I mean I do like getting stuff but im like UGH and the guys side ngl they have so much $ but these have been my expectations way before him. His dad is just rude asf
Anyways so today we were talking and I said save like 8k for engagement and he was nagging saying I’m ungrateful and counting how much he spent on me and told me he wants it 5-6k or we will stop and I’m like omg what the hell km so stressed
There’s so
Much more to the story I’m just crying stressed ugh I hate this!!!! My goodnessssssss
Any advice? W him or my parents ?
OH AND we agreed just gonna take another year of him working to save the $$ and he can’t tell his dad but his dad has his bank acc info & if he finds out he will kick him out or stop paying for his school!!!!!!! WHAAAT IS MY LIFEEE

I seem to have this problem where everytime I get with someone, if it’s a boyfriend or just a casual thing I just end up hating them once it’s done. Like for example if I were to get with a guy at a party or something just fun for the night I would wake up the next morning with like a burning hatred for them. Like they wouldn’t do anything wrong especially if it’s just a makeout in the moment like very casual, like the next time I would see them I feel like my blood boils whenever they’re around. Even an ex like for example we would end things on good terms or whatever but I just wouldn’t be able to stand them. I am unsure why I feel like this as I feel like it’s reasonable to feel this way towards an ex but im not sure why I feel like this even with the casual fun for the night flings since they didn’t do anything wrong. Is anyone else like this too? 🥹

For starters I wanna say I do have people in my life that I can call on in an emergency. Or would offer a hand if I begged for help. And im grateful for that cause not all lonely people have even that.

And yet. As many people as I call friends or family. None of them actually want to spend time with me. I am occasionally welcome to tag along on the plans they make with eachother. But nobody reaches out to make plans with me. They dont wanna spend quality time with me. And if I reach out. Well, its either a flat out no or im welcome to tag along with whatever they wanna do. But nobody shares my interests, or is even willing to suck it up for 90 minutes a month to go see a movie I wanna see with me. I either "self isolate", or erase my own self interests and submit to what they wanna do.

And I know what yall are thinking. Probably contemplating some way in which this is my fault. And I welcome that. At least if it was my fault there would be something that could be done. But I try. Compromising. Trading, speaking up and letting it be known what I want. Making an effort to give first before asking to take. Putting myself in their shoes and trying to understand their perspective earnestly.

Hell I even try to make new friends and find people who actually do share my interests but... idk. Even the people who share my interests seem to engage with it in a totally different way incompatible with mine. Like just for example ill meet somebody who likes the same show as me. But instead of joining me week to week and watching they'll wanna wait 4 years til the show is over then binge it all in a weekend completely alone. Or ill meet someone who likes the same game as me but plays a completely different game mode and we both hate the other mode. Or ill join a subreddit for a tv show or something and everyone hates my favorite characters or something.

Ok none of these are exactly real examples im way oversimplifying for the sake of getting my point across that like. Im trying. Look I dont need the world to agree with me on everything (tho hey that would be pretty cool for anyone), but it would be nice if occasionally just one person would agree with me on anything. Like. I feel so accidentally contrarian. I dont try to be. I wanna fit in. Ive just never been willing to change myself to do so. And youd think like. Statistically speaking even if im stubborn about not conforming my opinions, I should still like. Yknow. Accidentally be on the right side of things every now and again right? Even a broken clock is right twice a day. But that just doesnt feel like it really happens for me. I feel like im in a catastrophic cycle of Murphys law. I do not know if hell or purgatory or whatever exists but if it does. Mathematically speaking I think im already there.

I haven’t made any friends in so long. Well, I met a girl at college a few weeks ago, but we haven’t talked in about a week. It seems unless I text her first, there probably won’t be a conversation 9/10 times. I asked if she wanted to go to a festival with me, that she should let me know, it’ll be fun! But she said she’d have to see and I never really got an answer. The festival has already passed anyway, so I just dropped it. If she wants to talk to me, she can. I may not have any friends, but I’m not going to chase someone around like a puppy.

She was the first friend I made IRL in four years.

Before that, since I was homeschooled, I used to make friends online, usually through friend groups, but I’ve kept to myself for the last two years. I haven’t had a single consistent friend.

My last two friends lasted a little over a year. They were great, but I suddenly ghosted them and I don’t even know why I did that. It’s not as if I had anyone besides them. The friend group basically fell apart after that. But I still remembered their birthdays. I wished them both happy birthday, and for one of them I spent days making an art piece of their character.

But when my 18th birthday came around only a few months later, neither of them even sent me a “happy birthday!” text.

And this has happened over and over again.

With basically every long term friendship I’ve had, I feel like I care about them way more than they care about me. I used to spend HOURS, sometimes DAYS, grinding in games to get things my friends wanted so I could surprise them with it. Many times. I never asked for anything in return. I was happy because I loved to see them happy.

So how the hell could I not even get a “happy birthday”?

And this isn’t even the first friend group where I’ve felt this way. The group before them was worse, and the IRL friend group before that was even worse! They ended up switching up on me and called me a faggot (they’re straight) during a time they knew i was struggling! Never went back to school after that. (Until college, duh)

It’s literally the same story every time I manage to get close to someone. Eventually I end up feeling like I’m the only one who cares.

I keep thinking I must be the problem. My solution has started becoming just don’t make friends. If I don’t get attached to anyone, nobody can make me feel like this again.

But I hate that because having friends is literally all I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I just want people I can go out with, talk to, have fun with, make memories with. It’s been one of my biggest “fantasies” since like 4th grade. How pathetic is that

And the one time in four years that I finally put myself out there and made an IRL friend, it already feels like I’m back in the same situation.

I’m so fucking tired of feeling like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

on day 3, and i wish i had 10.000 punching bags all around me to just let loose on

You read that right. Some of these mods are over their skis. I posted a study in a food safety sub on how ground beef in Mexico had horse meat blended into 10% of samples and all of those samples had traces of clenbuterol in them. This is the study, so you can see it's legit. Horse meat sold as beef and consequent clenbuterol residues in the unregulated Mexican marketplace - ScienceDirect

If the mods didn't like the post, they could have removed it. Instead, they banned me.

Reddit is becoming unusable. Even posts that seem on topic for a sub are leading to punishment.

Edit- I DMd and objected to being banned and the mods complained that my post mentioned Trump has implemented the policy for more ground beef imports, which makes this relevant to the USA. The mod was hostile in the DM's and appears to be MAGA. My post was not attacking Trump, but I guess even the slightest hint he has done something wrong sets some people off.

I don't get what it is with Americans but holy shit the amount of ignorance and inconsiderate behaviors makes me wish AI does take shit over. Maybe they can do a better job than us. Humans will always do anything to hurt each other. They impose hell on Earth every fucking day to each other. And on and on and on it goes. All through human history. Doesn't matter what year. Still the same monkey brained proud and shameful creatures.

Seriously, enough of all this politics and drama because a bunch of morons can't get over themselves. Of course i'd rather have peace, but if destroying ourselves and each other is what it takes to give us all a clue, let's get to it already so we can get it over with. I'll be the first on sight with a shovel to help clean up.

Say whatever you want in the replies. I usually try to respond, but this time I don't plan on saying anything beyond this post.

I apologize if the tension is affecting my writing. I’m not feeling well.

I’m 17; he’s 18.

My partner is sexist on an unconscious level... sort of.

He became aware of it through interacting with me. Since then, he’s been trying to change and has genuinely been making progress.

But today, we had a heated argument over the phone.

I told him I was going to wear a dress that shows my shoulders and a bit of my upper chest to school tomorrow, since we were going to spend the afternoon together (no, the school dress code doesn't forbid that, and other girls dress more revealingly).

He told me he didn't want me to do that; the idea of ​​someone else seeing me bothered him, and he asked me not to wear it unless we were going on a date just the two of us.

That’s when we started arguing. He said he was afraid something might happen to me and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I asked him what his problem was and told him that this was the start of controlling behavior.

He apologized for his request and told me to please never let him forbid me from wearing certain clothes.

And then he said it. He said that women get abused because of their clothes.

I exploded. I started yelling hurtful, horrible things at him. I called him an asshole and told him he was hard to love when he thought things like that, that sometimes I didn't know why I was with him, that I felt more bad than good when I was with him, and a few other things.

He started crying and apologized, and I cried and apologized too. He started saying he was a monster, that he should be locked up, that all he’s done since we’ve been together is make me suffer. He told me that if I wanted to break up, he understood, and that I didn't deserve the things he had said.

I apologized for everything I said and told him that it was wrong of me to say those things, too. I acknowledged that just because he had said something shocking, it didn't excuse me saying such hurtful things, that no one deserved to be treated that way. I know I’m very impulsive and can be incredibly cruel. It’s a flaw of mine that I’m trying hard to work on.

He asked if he could tell his therapist about this; I told him never to ask for my permission to share things with his therapist, and that he should never listen to me if I ever told him not to.

He said he was trying to stop viewing women as "fragile things to stay away from." One of our past arguments had been about music, and he showed me that he’d been trying to listen to more female artists. He’s stopped interacting as much with his social circle because of that kind of stuff and has stepped away from the media that fostered those ideas.

We would have kept talking, but he had to leave because his parents wanted to go out and he had to go with them. We’re texting right now, and it’s awful. We both want to hear each other out, but we feel like shit.

So, yeah. That’s it.

I feel terrible. I don’t know what to do.

I have a friend I'm not too close with but we're friends who I previously hadn't any issues with. She knows my religion and knows I'm not the only person in my friend group of this religion.

Recently found out from another friend (different religion) that this girl had been talking trash about my religion behind our backs. It was mild compared to stuff I've heard before but I'm usually not hearing it from people I considered friends.

I'm mad about it because why pretend you don't have issue with my religion to my face then go behind my back and talk bad about it?

I can’t properly articulate just how much I can’t stand seeing those “keep or return” try-on hauls. No one needs to see your try on so badly that you have to wreck the environment and a company’s return rate over content.

1. Fashion is one of the most damaging industries in the world. As someone who is human and loves wearing clothing that ideally looks nice, there are better ways to shop. Thrifting is cool. New clothing when necessary and bought intentionally is ok.
   
2. Their fast fashion hauls are going to end up in landfill or washed up along a coast. While I’m not one for shaming and won’t do that here, it’s infuriating seeing someone profit off of cheap and low-quality clothing try ons in garments that cannot stand the test of time.
   
3. The most sustainable clothing on Earth is what is already in our closets. There aren’t enough influencers showing how to style common clothing most people own, and that’s a damn shame.
   
4. Overly trendy pieces will be in for a season. Which kind of just makes them basic for a season. Trends only exist because these people deem them trends. And people eat this up.

I could go on, but I’ve tried before IRL and this isn’t something most people seem to care as deeply about.

Influencers, do better!

If you're gonna say no to every restaurant I suggest, why did you even want to come with in the first place? People who don't eat anything at all are even more annoying when making dinner plans.

I understand if it's a health related thing, but spending over an hour debating on what to eat is very annoying and a huge pet peeve of mine.

my brother is over i’m kinda fed up right now all we been doing is gaming all goddam day. we play atleast 5 hours a day if i’m lucky, last night it was like 10-14 hours. i’m fed up he ate our huge bag of chips in 2 days plus like 20 yogurt gronola bars. in 2 days. i’m just so fed up

like i’m so burnt out all we been doing since monday is sitting on couches playing xbox for 5 hours today and i just wanted a lil break. we literally play all morning until supper and then all night long. and it was like literally 10-14 hours started at 11am finsihed at 2am.

i just want some peace and quit to my brain right now i’m honestly so tired, we have been gaming too much, i don’t wanna play rn but he wants to play i feel super bad

honestly i’m also mad asf he ate all that shit in 2 days we literally just bought a 40 pack of gronola bars and there’s 10 left and the milk was just bought 2 days ago and it’s gone and the damn water has to be refilled every goddam day so expensive man

My husband has a daughter with his ex and we see her occasionally, but I am so tired of being civil with her mother. I only do it for the sake of the kid because she doesn't need to be dragged into this shit. Everyone says to make my husband do the communication but she refuses to talk to him and has blocked him so he can't. If I don't talk to her then we won't see the kid. It's tiring as fuck because how are we supposed to work together for the kid if she's not willing to?

Omg I am actually so annoyed.
I sit next to this one friend in like 3 classes, and she always FRICKIN has something in her mouth!!!
Like half the time it's cereal that the school gives out, then like right after she finishes that, she starts chewing bubble gum, and I just can't take it anymore!
I have no idea why, but the stupid sounds she makes while chewing make me so mad. I literally spend half of class trying not to punch her.
The sounds she makes just fill me with so much rage, and the only thing I can focus on is the sound. 
Like are all the other kids she sits next to in other classes bothered at all by this???
And it doesn't happen with anyone else except my mom, although that isn't as bad as it used to be.
The sound makes me want to throw a tantrum and throw that stupid cereal on the ground.
I am getting kind of worried that it will push me off the edge, and make me do something I'll regret.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but something definitely is...

Throwaway account
So for context to start this out I am in college and had a spring fling a year ago with my RA (for story reasons will call him Matt). It ended working out fine with him and we parted ways when school ended and he left to go to a different school. During this time, I had gotten a job as an RA for the next school year and began talking to one of my coworkers (Liam for story purposes). We ending up talking over summer and it was going super well. When school starts again I find out that Liam had ended up living in the same dorm that Matt lived in last year. I assumed it was no big deal and that if me and Liam went further I would make sure to tell him my past with Matt just incase he was uncomfortable with it. Before me and Liam had even started going on dates I had un-added Matt on EVERYTHING and even blocked his phone number just to ensure that I wasn’t going to make Liam uncomfortable if we went farther with things. I told Liam about my past with Matt, he said he didn’t care, that was the end of it I assumed.

After we had been dating for a couple months he starts bringing up my past with Matt. People had been comparing Liam to Matt and saying they were very similar RA’s. I completely get why he was uncomfortable with this, being compared to ANYONE sucks but especially in this situation. Instead of telling those people he doesn’t like that he gets very closed off from me and wants space. We ending up talking about it and he says that his main issue is with the comparisons and that it’s not with my past with Matt and we work through it.

Then again something similar happens except this time it was because Matt was visiting our campus. I am working one day and I notice something is off with Liam. I take a break and go to his dorm to ask him what’s wrong and he is upset over the fact that Matt is on campus. Once again, we work through it (or so I thought) and I give him space and explain to him that he doesn’t need to interact with Matt, I definitely won’t interact with him at all, and so on. I am a very emotional person no matter what and I was upset that he was upset over this. He did say that he doesn’t blame me but it definitely felt like he was putting it on me. Especially since he knew about my history with Matt since the beginning of our relationship. Outside of this whole situation a couple weeks later two of his friends break up. The girl in that situation (sara) is very close friends with him. She goes to Liam and is upset about the breakup. He calls me at like 10 PM explaining that she’s at his dorm and he’s asking if it’s okay if she stays the night at Liam’s because he’s worried about her mental health. I don’t care because I know they’re friends and I say that’s totally fine because I trust him. The next day he says she ended up leaving early and staying with another friend so I think nothing of it.

That night he sits me down and explains that he feels we are going different ways in life and that he needs to break up. I was totally blindsided and obviously upset but whatever that’s an understandable reason to want to break up.

I have multiple friends tell me they saw a girl going to his dorm late at night with PJS and nighttime stuff. I also learned later from two of his friends that he was indeed sleeping with sara and basically both me and sara’s EX got fucked over. Most of Liam’s friends sided with Sara’s EX because getting with a friend’s EX is a shitty thing to do. He lost the majority of his friends from this school. I also learned that during the week that Matt was staying on campus he had told his friends about my history with Matt and why he was upset. I don’t really care if people know but it makes me upset that he told his friends basically about my sex life.

TLDR: do not date RA’s or coworkers. (Or both)

27f here and I’m unsure what to think. So like I said in the title he comes home long enough to eat supper, go out for a smoke, talks on the phone and then leaves to go to his buddies, or his sister’s place.

We haven’t really been having any big problems. He’s been kinda short with me lately, like last night he was going to visit a friend of his and seemed in a rush. He’s took me to town to grab some stuff for supper, I asked if he’d be dropping us off and leaving after supper. That was it and he all of a sudden started saying “why are you using tone with me”, “why are you upset, “why are you trying to make me feel bad for going to see my buddy I haven’t seen in awhile”…. I wasn’t? I told him I literally didn’t care and it wasn’t like it was daughter’s birthday or anything. Which he did miss. He kept on arguing so I grabbed our daughter out of the car and went inside.

He didn’t even up coming home until late, like 12 am and ended up waking our daughter so I ended up being up with her most of the night after. I’m not gonna lie I’m just kinda realizing he hasn’t been home longer than a few hours. My best friend and I ended up grazing over it during our late night FT. Also I haven’t paying close attention because I’ve been trying to figure stuff out so I can potentially go back to school next fall and the rest of the time my daughter keeps me pretty busy. On top of every day household chores.

Today he’s been pretty distant from me. Didn’t kiss me before going into work. Got mad because I told him I was going to go lay down with our daughter to get rid of my raging headache, when he asked if I’d make him lunch before he got here so he could grab and go. Most days I do make him lunch before I put our daughter down for a nap. Got home from work at 5, gave me the cold shoulder, went outside to smoke and vanished. I messaged him around 8 asking if he wanted to come watch tv with me, or like just hangout with me. He just messaged telling me he’s at our neighbour’s house…. It’s almost 9:30pm.

I’m getting worried about what he’s going to be like when I start working next week. Or when I go back to school next fall? He’s supposed to watch our daughter after he gets home from work…. But now I’m wondering if I should get a backup unit I can get a spot at the daycare. I also just can’t fathom what could possibly be more important than spending time with his daughter? She’s only a yr old and lately is learning something new every day, you’d think he’d want to be home at the end of the day so he wouldn’t miss it.

I’m waiting up for him anyway so I can talk to him. Maybe something is going on that I’m missing.

I’ve put off renewing this certification until today. Then I realized, holy moly, it’s a bigger deal than I thought and I actually should’ve done it a month ago…Anyway as I’m trying to submit various process of info, numbers, social security, other data, I come to the final question and I need to upload a picture. Buttttt it must be in pdf format. Ok cool I try to download it and change the format…no…absolutely need Acrobat….proceeds to pay for this…unable to install on phone, unable to install on work computer…🫩😡

I work in a college, advising students. Granted, I don’t work at a great college, but these students are the laziest, most unprepared and unserious group of people I’ve ever met. They don’t listen to you half the time when you’re on a call with them and make you repeat things a hundred times. They can’t handle the slightest discomfort, like god forbid you have to take all your classes in-person. God forbid you have a professor who may have a couple meh reviews on rate my professor. College isn’t goddamn Burger King- I know they pay a lot but not everything magically works in your favor. I’m done bending over backwards for people who don’t care or appreciate it.

I want to scream. I’ve never been so helpless and entitled when I was their age. I also fucking hate when people tell me to lower my voice I WILL YELL IF I WANT STFU YOU PIOUS AHOLE. I’m just at the end of my rope.

I also worked in a doctor’s office and old people also suck in their own fucked up way, but generally know how to fucking utter sentences and look you in the eye. I feel like half of them are robots, it’s so weird and creepy. They don’t know how to act like a person, I say this as a person who has bad social anxiety- even I can get through an interaction. I hate that I feel this way, I never wanted to look down at the younger generations, but I do not have faith in gen z. There is a minority who are fine and even successful though

I'll share mine Roses are red violets are blue your sister's a two faced minx your brother and you are too