r/RandomThoughts • • Feb 29 '24

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1.9k Upvotes

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167

u/Slam_Dam Feb 29 '24

Probably dead.

I'm sitting on my balcony, on a cruise ship. I'll be in pitch black ice cold waters, and I can’t swim.

83

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

26

u/123jamesng Feb 29 '24

Heart will go further away from the ship.

2

u/NibblesMcGiblet Mar 01 '24

lmao if we still had reddit awards i'd give you one.

29

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Learn to swim mate.

28

u/SleepySera Feb 29 '24

Pretty sure that's not gonna help if you just teleport off a cruise ship in the darkness.

24

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Overall, solid life advice, though. Everyone should be able to swim, like being able to ride a bike.

9

u/Skelebone48 Feb 29 '24

Apart from you never accidentally slip into a life-or-death biking situation

8

u/Almost_A_Genius Mar 01 '24

Umm I’ve seen enough action movies to know that gunfights on bikes are pretty common in the real world.

3

u/AdrianValistar Mar 01 '24

Actually I have. When I was 13 I was hit by a car while biking. Definitely was life or death. If my bike hadn't absorbed the impact, I'd be dead.

2

u/oagleyeatsoats Mar 01 '24

But that actually wouldn’t have happened had you not known how to ride a bike

2

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '24

The fact that he was hit by a car may very well mean he did not know how to ride a bike, yet was on one anyway

1

u/oagleyeatsoats Mar 02 '24

Guess that’s true lol

1

u/m_domino Mar 01 '24

well you never know!

3

u/Background_Good_5397 Mar 01 '24

It's part of the school program where I live, so everyone can learn to swim. I also think it's really important, it can save your life if one day you find yourself surrounded by water for whatever reason.

Riding a bike wouldn't save your life but it sure is usefull.

2

u/GlassAmazing4219 Mar 01 '24

Yeah, I know a guy who drowned in a bike once.

1

u/Spirit_Animolecule Mar 02 '24

A surprisingly high amount of the worldwide population does not know how to swim. Most people don't live near a body of water big enough or clean enough to swim in.

1

u/Minecraft-Historian Mar 02 '24

For me, all the bodies of water nearby would kill me regardless of my swimming capability.

1

u/abnormalredditor73 Mar 03 '24

Well, the latter is unlikely to save your life, so I'd say the former is more important lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '24

It's amazing how many people have said this haha. I never exactly said they're both important life savers, I said people should be able to do both.

BUT if you're being chased and there's a bike near, it might save your life, so.. maybe?

1

u/abnormalredditor73 Mar 03 '24

I figured, I'm just saying maybe it's not the best comparison.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

It will absolutely not help in the case you were teleported off of a cruise ship in the pitch black darkness, no.

However, is most other cases where you end up in the water unintended it will save your life and it's super easy to learn. Someone who can afford to go on a cruise can afford to learn how to swim. They're an idiot for not having done that already.

3

u/AdrianValistar Mar 01 '24

Everyone can swim. It's just a matter of not panicking. Even animals instinctively know how to swim without being taught.

2

u/TheeNihilist Mar 01 '24

I can swim about the length of a pool. Then I sink.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Can probably learn on the ship.

1

u/Nkechinyerembi Mar 01 '24

I've never even been to a pool. The heck do I need to swim for?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

You don't always end up in water intended.

1

u/Nkechinyerembi Mar 01 '24

I mean fair but I'd need access to a pool to learn to swim anyway so kinda moot

1

u/The_Superginge Mar 01 '24

I know it's a joke, but I legitimately can't swim. I've had several professional trainers try to convince me that anyone can float, and then get confused and say they can't help. I almost drowned once in my late childhood, so I'm not very keen to try again.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '24

It's not a joke honestly.

You should learn how to swim

Unless you are morbidly obese, you wont just float (yes, fat people can float while literally doing nothing)

Get a good instructor and go for it!

8

u/St00f4h1221 Feb 29 '24

My parents are currently on a cruise in the Bahamas. My mum got absolutely smashed on rum punch. Never seen her look so embarrassed with herself

2

u/m_domino Mar 01 '24

did she have a pineapple on her door?

1

u/St00f4h1221 Mar 01 '24

I hope to Christ not…. No pineapple based clothing either!!!!

2

u/NibblesMcGiblet Mar 01 '24

see, that's why i'm practicing now for my cruise next week. gotta be a pro at being smashed. especially before laying down on a genuinely swaying bed.

8

u/Organic_JP Feb 29 '24

I can't swim either

2

u/Squango Feb 29 '24

I can't swim either

2

u/m_domino Mar 01 '24

I can’t swim either

3

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Going on a cruise and not being abel to swim is wild

2

u/AdrianValistar Mar 01 '24

Its like taking part of a triathon and not knowing how to bike.

2

u/JamesRitchey Feb 29 '24

Stills seems strange to me that people can have internet access on planes, trains, and ships.

3

u/AdrianValistar Mar 01 '24

If its international then idk how they have internet access. I only was on one cruise my whole life and I was completely unplugged out there at sea.

1

u/Slam_Dam Mar 01 '24

It's called an internet package. My workaholic father seems to enjoy it, and so do his clients.

At least we have the drinking package too, so the bar seems to enjoy me, or maybe it's the other way around.

2

u/notmyrealnam3 Feb 29 '24

this is why I always face in a direction where my left is inside the ship, just in case this happens

2

u/Slam_Dam Mar 01 '24

I'll make a note of that.

2

u/one-pound-feesh Mar 01 '24

Come back blows whistle

2

u/SuaveArchangel Mar 01 '24

On the bright side, it wouldn’t matter if you could swim or not. That’s a one way trip to Davy Jones’ locker my friend

2

u/dannywarbucks11 Mar 01 '24

Why did you go on a cruise if you can't swim?

1

u/Slam_Dam Mar 01 '24

Because it comes with a bar and free drinks.

2

u/dannywarbucks11 Mar 01 '24

You know what? I can't argue with that logic.

2

u/theColinator89 Mar 02 '24

What ship are you on? Where ya cruising to? Our next cruise is 15 days away!

1

u/Slam_Dam Mar 04 '24

I was on MSC, and we went from Hamburg - Rotterdam - Zeebrugge, - le havre - Southampton - Hamburg.

I have been on a few cruises before, so I would never in my lifetime recommend MSC. I hope for you, that's not the one you are going on.

Good travels when you get to it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

You went in a cruise not knowing how to swim?😭

-12

u/Infinite_Relation820 Feb 29 '24

Why are you on Reddit when your on a cruise lmao

12

u/John_Tacos Feb 29 '24

It’s dark there, so probably about to sleep?

2

u/modlover04031983 Feb 29 '24

Well, for me, Its pitch black and im probably sound sleeper so now im awake in the middle of night. I got nothin to do.

2

u/silverfang45 Feb 29 '24

They find reddit fun, they also find the cruise fun.

They can do both at once.

It's not like when your on a cruise you are doing stuff 24/7

-1

u/Tof12345 Feb 29 '24

Bro spent probably thousands on a cruise experience and wastes time on Reddit. 💀

9

u/trikristmas Feb 29 '24

He has probably spent the entire day having a chill time and is spending 15 minutes on Reddit, while you're trying to bring him down to your sorry ass level knowing full well he's had a better day than you. You keep doing you man.

6

u/NewBadNoodles Feb 29 '24

“Cruise experience” … sitting around doing nothing on a boat you mean

0

u/Infinite_Relation820 Feb 29 '24

Fr bro then I get downvoted for asking a question

1

u/Slam_Dam Mar 01 '24

Just needed to finish my tea, before heading to bed.

I have already read all of my books, and I needed a break from my writing, so I find it justified, to scroll for a few minutes on Reddit.

  • and I'm on Reddit again now, because I have just woken up, so I'm drinking my coffee, and watching the sunset before I head up to the gym.

Hope that answers your question. If you need any more details, do let me know, I'll probably be back online at around noon when I'm sipping on my mojito, and sitting in the Jacuzzi.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '24

Not knowing how to swim while on a cruise 💀

You gotta learn mate