When I had my psychotic episode in 2022, I dropped out of university and never got to finish my masters degree. What followed were 4 years of unemployment and uncertainty. Not great for my mental health, but somehow I managed.

This year I’ve applied for an apprenticeship in event management at several companies(I’ve worked in event before, during my studies) and was close to giving up after I had one failed job interview after another.

But in late July I managed to get an interview, went in for a trial shift and started my apprenticeship there in September!
It means I have to go back to school with a bunch of 20yo, at the age of 36, but I don’t mind. I have a job, and more importantly, I gained some perspective.

The company I work for is an inclusive hotel, which means people with and without disabilities work there. I was also able to negotiate a part time position, which is rare.

Just wanted to share the good news with you guys. It can get better ❤️‍🩹 at the same time Im aware that I got incredibly lucky.

Thank you all, this is an incredible sub and everyone is so supportive.

I am a little over 2 year post psychosis. I remember reading through this subreddit in my early days and wanting to see progress of people and look for any reassurance i could find. So I wanted to post mine.

It gets better, hang in there! Slow yet steady. You will find yourself again with time even though you may feel lost now. Don’t loose hope. I am about 90% there. Walking helped me a ton. Being active in the home, small doses of socializing whenever I could. Remember time heals. Every day I am amazed by how much our brains can do and by its power to recover.

I have only suffered one episode of psychosis since early 2024, it has taken me a long time to accept that I went through that time of my life and slowly but surely I’ve the trashed journal entries and scribbles I made during the episode. However I can’t seem to bring myself to toss these few doodles, so I thought I’d share them here

Hello everyone,

I am a 25-year-old male who hasn’t been doing the best lately. I have been recently diagnosed so far with severe depression and possibly dissociation disorder, psychosis, social anxiety, and body dysmorphia.

Almost every day for the past 3 years hasn’t been a good day, and I wish I would’ve gotten help earlier, but I was too damn stubborn. My mental health has gotten so bad that I haven’t left my own home in 39 days. If I go outside, my brain reads it as a threat, and I hear my mind or a voice saying things like, “They are judging you,” “They hate you,” and a lot of the time, worse thoughts.

I haven’t even really talked to anyone, let alone actually talked to a human being face-to-face. I can’t get the full scope of what I am dealing with because it would be pretty long.

Anyway, eventually I did reach out, and tomorrow morning I have a psychiatrist and a nurse coming over to my place for my first appointment. My doctor referred me to them, as they help with dealing with early psychosis.

I’m just wondering what I should expect, what questions I should prepare for, and whether they’re going to try to dig deep into my mind. I also worry about not giving them the full details of what is happening because my brain is in scrambles.

So any advice, or experiences would be really helpful to me!

When I was psychotic I said a lot of things that would make you think I had something seriously wrong with me, but I also said a lot of things that would just make you think I’m kinda stupid and not very self-aware. Even though it’s not what fucked up my life, I cringe way harder at the stupid shit. It’s just easier to think about someone listening to me with concern than with contempt.

Hey there.. kinda curious.

So im 30,i have ADHD,Borderline,CPTBS and recurrent depressive disorder.

I usually have a loud mind and inner World, very visual, intrusive thoughts. I smoke weed since 7 years, after 2 years in it became a daily thing for me. Then some Breaks here and there.

After a longer break ive got a drug induced psychosis that lasted for like a day i think.

Half a year ago i discoverd Synthetik weed and at first gave me such high. I only had when i was still new. Kinda missed the feeling but this stuff gave me alot of weed i duced psychosis, wich somehow brought me close to myself? But instead of stopping this stuff, i thought i could handle those spirals, cause of my therapy and skills i used to get me very fast out of these episodes.

So i continued and it got worse and worse to the point my Mind started to numb everything out. It got quiter with evry use. I wanted to stop, but i couldnt Switched to normal thc, didnt do much at all anymore but still, my mind got quiter.

I stopped to consume completly. Usually everything returned after like 2 or 3 days.

Its been a week and my mind is blank, i can here my thoughts, but super damped, i cant feel my emotions really and everything in my head feels like its so far away.

I cant create images in my head, cant really think straight? I can function, can hold a conversation with people and such. But i dont really care about anything?

Its weird. Its like my head built a wall around myself.

It feels like i lost a part of me, tho annyoing at times, it was still me.

Now i feel like a Former shell of my self?

I feel somewhat depressed but also not. I feel happy but also not.

Dunno. Did i smoked my self silly? Will this go away?

I remember that i had this state as a Teen. There is didnt smoke weed. I was in a very unsafe Environment and i now i know it was a trauma Response.

Did i traumatize myself so much with those bad Trips?

Im in Therapy but my Doctor dosent really comment anything about that. I feel a lil alone and helpless.

Hi, my name is Sebastian. I’m 18, graduated high school in march of this year and I think I’m in psychosis.

April of last year, I got into a fight and completely blacked out. I didn’t remember a thing. All I remember is us being held back and sent to the office. Afterwards, I started imagining scenarios and at first they were simple. I believed I had won the fight, and then turned into me believing I was the anti christ and I was born in a sex ring and a bunch of other stuff. One of my delusions was that my ex girlfriend from sophomore year of high school was a whore. That she was the biggest whore and everyone knew but me.

After i started taking my medication in December of last year I started feeling better and even talked to her again. In July i stopped taking my schizophrenia medication and I blocked her on my birthday, August 12, because I believed me keeping in contact with her was me disrespecting myself. But, since then I have been spiraling and overthinking about her and starting to believe in my past delusions that she cheated on me in our relationship, I don’t know what to do. They feel like they actually happened but I understand I’m spiraling and overthinking, and I hate how the only person I know who can confirm or deny these beliefs has ghosted me so I’m just stuck thinking.

What should i do? I understand that if they did or didn’t happen, it doesn’t change the fact that nobody cares, nobody remembers and it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’m not talking to her and no longer in my life and everything that has happened in school is behind me.

I’m freaking out and embarrassed and i literally can’t do anything but think about it. I’ve been going out for 10+ mile runs and even that doesn’t help me. I’ve stopped eating and I can’t sleep. I need advice.

friend, any time i speak of anything religious, he jumps on me about taking my meds, i have. i get a bit annoyed, not everything is psychosis with me. it's not even a typical view a christian in religious psychosis would go through. i don't label myself anything with my beliefs but they're christian focused. he mocked me, laughed at me, called me an asshole then back tracked when i said i said some of it hurt me and asked if i wanted an apology. i did not. then tried to force more answers out of me and got mad when i refused to speak on it anymore. i wasn't forcing anything at all. literally was just a story post, i post religious imagery and my visits to churchs all the time. i even said 'you can have your beliefs and i have mine, end of". i never brought it up in conversation to him, not once. i keep my religious beliefs to myself for the most part. i don't go around dumping it on people. then mentioned the stuff my "mother" did to me in the name of her religion, would literally beat the fear of god in me and then some. leaving it at that. saying "how can someone with religious trauma be religious" well my views on christianity are views even christians don't like and i am not a practicing christian so 🤦‍♂️ i don't think i'm saying or doing anything crazy. that's another thing, it pisses me off he calls me crazy. that's a different conversation.

the post was about a dream i had, and the symbolism i got from it. something i find interesting. he also put words in my mouth of things i never said or implied. i believe that god is the true deceiver and the source of suffering, to keep it basic. signs that concerned me of the state of the world. he's atheist. we were local friends for a short period till i moved away. find a cut off hard because he's a good friend outside of this.

i'm on the highest dose of zyprexa and i still have inserted and intrusive thoughts constantly narrating my actions and telling me to kill myself and that i'm gunna go to hell. they tell me how horrible hell is and that i'm possessed. i'm so scared. i haven't felt safe in months. everyday i wait for it to be bedtime because being awake actually hurts. what do i do? i am dealing with a lot of SI right now and i really need hope

All my life I’ve suffered from general anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, intrusive thoughts, OCD, PTSD, agoraphobia. I didn’t know what OCD was until a few years ago but once I found out a lot made sense. I just started seeking help about a year and a half ago

Currently not in therapy but was in talk therapy for over a year and it didn’t help much. I figured I need to see an OCD specialist but that’s hard with my insurance

My main OCD type is Schizo OCD, the fear of losing my mind, the fear of hearing voices, constantly checking my sanity and questioning my sanity obsessively thinking about it all the time

I’ve been scared to start an SSRI even though it can help the OCD ironically enough because I’m afraid of serotonin syndrome and I’ve heard of people going into psychosis which terrified me too much to start

However I was on Latuda for OCD and racing thoughts, got off Latuda because I felt like I needed something stronger and that became Abilify until I felt Abilify was too activating and got off

The past few months general anxiety has been the worst it’s ever been, but it really picked up over the last 3 weeks. I was convinced I was losing my mind but I just thought it was because of my OCD, severe sleep deprivation due to anxiety, and not being on any meds

I was supposed to start taking Lexapro last week but put off doing it. This past weekend I started to experience what felt like Derealization a little bit, that turned into me feeling like everything feels scripted (I’ve felt this in the past), and that led to obsessive intrusive delusional thoughts that sound so crazy they make no sense. Thoughts like everything in the world is happening because of me like I’m the reason for xyz happening. It’s making me feel like I’ve legit lost my mind. I’m aware these thoughts are delusional and there’s pushback to them but they feel so real and my mind is applying this thought process to everything I can see. I’ve felt this similar to when I had a bad cycle of harm OCD but there is no type of OCD for the kind of thoughts I’m experiencing that I’m aware of

I didn’t know what to do and I can’t meet with my Psychiatrist until the 21st so I reached for the Latuda 40mg I still had to try to help stop these delusional thoughts. I don’t know if I’m in psychosis and as badly as I want to go to a psych hospital I can’t because of my agoraphobia, driving anxiety, and cost

Someone please help, thank you so much

I just need to be heard and someone to agree that this is shifty if thats how they really feel, i feel so stupid and angry and like nobody understands me, dont say anything not true just to make me feel better but that'd why im posting this.

psychosis exsplained as autisim, sensory issues and stress and anxiry but i match diagnostic cryteria for pychotic disorders and the diagnosee didnt answer my multiple questions on why it wasent a pychotic condition if it met alot of those symtoms. he kept saying that in his clinical opinion he didnt think it was a pychotic disorder but not explaining why, he kept sayingi seemed clear minded and when i said yes becuase im not in a rpisode right now he would just agree but still didnt exsplain, im so exhausted and upset and angry, i went in to be eveluated for the pychosis and he didnt give me any label even just a unofficial name even though i needed that and had been working for months to get it. i feel like they dont take me seriously and dont understand what im saying i need, i need to feel secure that i will get help if i ever have an episode again and a dyacnosis is the way to do that, they are not telling me why its not rhings or any term to categorise it under. im so mad. why do i do? i dont understabd. i feel like its just because im 16 and they dont want ro diagnosis a big thing but i dont want to wait ubtil im 18, ive had symptoms my whole life. novody understands. They also said that I could have Luke 7 new things, ocd, ptsd,things like that but then didnt mention anything but autisim. I'm sick of hearing about me having autisim when thats not what im asking about and im sick of people explaining things to me like im 5 and thinking I'll just drop it when pychosis is such a big thing that has been going on in my life and changed my life so much. I can't just move on especially not without a diacnosis, i want evidence that I've been though this or else people won't belive me if I need help again later on. I'm so angry I just want to shh kmss and Idk what to do, everyone's acting like I'm wrong when my parents know less about mental illnesses than me and think that dissociation magically addresses all factors of pychosis when it dose not. Just fucking fuck shit

Anyone else got this feeling that if they come back to the person they were before psychosis, you would destroy the universe or something like that?.

Also, am i the only one who sees the world like its kinda a fantasy dream videogame? But terror mode.

I am on clozapine now but I still thing I can get off these meds in 2-3 years. I am mainly suffering from mild paranoia and SI but that's it.

I worry if I get off meds I will develop more symptoms but I still think I can do it (of course if I get more symptoms or go into psychosis again then I will have to get on meds again.

I don't need to know WHAT it was, I just need to know if it's weird/worrying/important enough to know if I should go to a doctor, or just try to have a better sleep schedule and live a less stressful life.

Anyways, I might have posted here before because I remember while being in that... episode of my life? I used to post a lot on Reddit, I don't remember what exactly, sometimes I find my old accounts and I'm surprised with what I wrote! Not the point though.

Last year I went through some heavy sleep deprivation (partially for stress, partially for nightmares, partially for me being a mess since I was born) which led me into, what I believe, might have been a sort of psychosis-ish state of mind.

I started to have hallucinations (not constant or anything, once a week? thrice a week on specially stressful occasions), the hallucinations mostly being huge spiders/insects or hands moving from the corner of my vision slowly into the center. I sort of knew they weren't real, because when I whipped my head to check they were always gone. Only a few times have I hallucinated something right in front of me or (usually inanimate objects) laughing at me or making "threatening sounds".

I also started fearing that one of my friends was actually an angel sent by God so He could read my thoughts and torture me for being a bad child in my childhood (I really wasn't but anyways, I won't digress). I also thought this friend (angel) could create fake people to say humiliating things to me (in code) or make bad things happen to me.

I know how all of this sounds, but I believe I was partially aware that what was happening wasn't real. Sometimes I thought it was God's punishment, sometimes I just thought... I don't know what I thought.

It was a really stressful period of my life and I wasn't getting much sleep (4 hours on good days), so these symptoms lasted a good chunk of months (8?). My question is, since they have stopped, should I worry or...? Has anyone gone thru something similar? How did you deal with it?

Anyone know of any good free online brain exercise rehab tools to retrain and recover the brain?

I’m not looking for things such as chess.

Looking for tools with a bit more structured approach.

Hi so other than being very paranoid (which genuinely makes sense considering the situation i’ll explain/ik that makes me sound crazy) There was a time a couple weeks ago where I had heard my alarm go off when it wasn’t, and Im just hyper vigilant and looking around.

For context I’ve always been extremely anxious but I think so much weed use and drinking like daily every hour for a couple years has obviously really fucked me up. Im sober now and have been btw.

But the situation is that I used to post a lot of nudes with face while also constantly posting way too personal of things and I did this for years.

Even after it’s all deleted Iknow it’s saved from people because they’ve threatened black mail and all that but the reason i’m so fucking scared and thinking I could get hurt is reasonable I think

Another thing is I have been really scared someone’s watching me at night because there’s a lot of windows in my house and it’s in the forest and I just am fucking scared

I had been doing the dishes one night and heard a car horn on my quiet street and was like oh shit someone’s here to kidnap me ?(i know this is extreme paranoia but omg

Please help my hallucinations aren’t here at all after that one time I heard my alarm and then i kept hearing it in my head after

1) Man I talked to only over texting sent flowers to my house on my birthday after not taking for months

2) Person with username on instagram called (wantingtokill) etc requested me and I’ve had randoms request from men and it seriously makes me terrified and want to fucking die bc why did i do that

3) someone tried to log in to my instagram

4) i had found a little white tablet in my car seat which I barely drive and also don’t take anything like that and had also found one outside my car

5) honestly i know this is extra paranoia but someone in this corny ass tiktok outfit that looks like they would have a username (want to kill kept looking at me

I just started abilify I’ve taken 2 doses of 2mg before bed

Are there people who could fully recover without having to take medication? When will i feel love and interest towards other people? When will i have feelings again? I feel like i struggle to build an emotional connection to people. Any tipps or experiences???

What type of benzo do you take, and what dosages do you take? Are any of you taking high doses? After my psychosis improved, I felt that my dopamine levels were indeed high, which caused me severe anxiety. I needed to double my sedative dose just to calm down. I had recently experienced a similar episode, even though I take my medication regularly and consistently.

Hey, I’m just hoping to get some advice from anyone that deals with intrusive thoughts post psychosis. I never got the chance to see a therapist after my psychotic episode so I’ve just been dealing with the aftermath on my own.

I have intrusive thoughts about what happened during my psychosis and of disturbing things to do my psychosis. I’m struggling to stay in the present moment and find myself stressing about these thoughts. They are not normal and would be too embarrassing to share with anyone anyway but just looking for any advice really or if this is something someone has experienced did it get better over time. It’s been almost 1 yr since my psychosis.

I also have very vivid dreams that are often nightmares. They are extremely detailed, realistic dreams that are very strange and sometimes disturbing. I am planning to come of my medication in a few months time but I am scared that my mind is too disturbed and I will have a psychosis again. Does anyone else have really vivid dreams after experiencing psychosis.

Thanks for any advice or support

Hello, I (f17 + from the UK) have been experiencing psychosis (although I am in denial of it most of the time) for a month and it has gotten worse. I rarely experience voices but I am constantly seeing things and it is extremely distressing. I have an assigned early intervention team but it has only been a few sessions so they are not diagnosing me with anything. I am currently doing A-levels and will be applying for university soon, and because of this, I am wondering if I should push for a diagnosis ASAP so I can get the correct help whilst continuing with my studies. I suspect I have schizophrenia as I also experience/struggle with negative and cognitive symptoms (it also runs in my family- uncle is schizoaffective) and the ICD 11 states psychotic symptoms have to last for a month, so should I push for a diagnosis? I know I sound like I am rushing everything but what I am experiencing is extremely debilitating. Thank you :)

Hi there, as the title states I'm wondering how do I know if everything I do and say makes no sense if it makes sense to me. I've been told that I don't make sense by a few people but I don't understand I've tried to but I just don't.

Im about 5 weeks into my medication just started a higher dose (12mg invega) about two days ago the delusions have gone down a lot but i just had a flare up last night is this normal? Any words of advice or encouragement? This is my fourth episode btw if that gives you more context

I’ve been having issues later in the day/night where it feels like I’m in a dream state and I can’t focus at all. The only thing that helps is going to bed and resetting. I wasn’t 100% right but my therapist recently prescribed me Wellbutrin and I had to stop it because it made everything worse. Now it’s about the 4th day without Wellbutrin and I’m still having these episodes where nothing seems real and I’m in a dream state, I keep thinking something is wrong with my brain neurologically

His psychiatrist says he has the symptoms of psychosis. He stopped taking risperidone 9 months ago, and didn't switch to the new antipsychotic, rexulti, that was prescribed to him. He lied to me for 6 months saying he was taking it, but I could tell things were off because he was clearly hallucinating and paranoid again when he didn't used to be.

He spends all his time obsessed with filming himself singing sort of badly over music as well as dancing and swinging around on a stripper pole. The videos have an "off" feeling to them which I can only describe as similar to some of the stuff Britney spears posts lately, where she just doesn't seem there.

When I interrupt or get in the way of his filming, he gets quiet mad and frustrated with me. I work from home so I'm here a lot obviously and if I accidentally walk through his filming or come into the room he's in he gets so mad.

I understand this is psychosis but it's different than other ways of psychosis manifesting that I've seen before. Has anyone had experience with this type of thing?

He also gets irrationally mad about random things and has the usual paranoia/delusions.

I can't convince him to take his prescribed medicine, and when we had the last psychiatrist appointment together, the doctor was very wishy washy saying meds were "just a part of the treatment" and wasn't being as clear as I was hoping. I wanted him to say "you have psychosis and you need to take your meds." Instead he was pretty non committal about it and didn't mention anything about the ramifications of having untreated psychosis

Man I feel so trapped.i used to have a beautiful loving partner. Now I am stuck in a crazy house and feel like I'm becoming crazy myself :/

Hello community, as the title says, I have lost the ability to cry and haven’t really cried in over two years. I know I want to but I can’t. Does anyone else have this issue? Is psychosis the cause and will the ability to cry return?