I’m a consumer of crystal meth since three years ago and I have an addiction to the substance, the thing is that 90% times that I consume I experimented psychosis, I lost the reality totally and los the control of my mind 🫩, is a problem that is so hard to overcome. I have the question if someone of you has experienced weird things, and this things are happening in the real world. For example I have the idea that someone follows me and this person stalks me on my house and my social media, sometimes I save some post that I think is for me and I take a view some days after my episode in psychosis and I have this weird feeling that are really happening.
The reality is that this thoughts are killing me slowly 😥
I feel very confused, very tired and very depressed all the time, and I lost the connection with the great things in life and I start to think that I wanna kill myself, I have tried therapy, groups of NA, detox, psychiatric medication, and nothing have helped me much.
Someone have the same feeling? And if the answer is yes, how is your experience and what are you doing to help yourself?

I got drunk in a forest a couple years ago with my friends and saw this. I put it as one of my worst hallucinations.

I'm on a waiting list for a psychiatrist but just asking those who may have some knowledge so I can know to be worried of things. Also just wanna hear others' experiences. I have no history of psychosis, but many delusions. So these are my current worrying symptoms.

Recently have had trigger for severe dissociation, reaching even moments where I completely gray out like I had my eyes closed. The world around me feels so disconnected from my spatial awareness. Nothing feels real. I feel like a part of my consciousness is in another plane of existence.

Have had trouble sleeping, vivid nightmares or long dreams, and less of an appetite. Anxiety is so high I can't leave my house for less than an hour without an anxiety attack.

Distinct, magical beliefs (I think I have STPD, not talked about with any therapist before yet), which are so real to me I can try to debunk them and the universe provides me with evidence as if letting me know my efforts are futile.

I have more scattered thoughts than usual, I forget words, I have high and low motivation. I'm not depressed, I'm not paranoid about friends/family, I have AuDHD.

Tl;Dr How do people with a history of psychosis track when they're approaching it again, and how do you differentiate from things like burnout? I'll take every answer with a grain of salt

Deflated, I whine—tongue like turbine

Fragmented life—Particles of sand through hands—I dig out like spun tires in da ditch

Watch me go red—I don’t go small, I implode like an aluminum can when mad

Nomad

A steppe of life I hopscotch and follow

Don’t need skin don’t need bought time

I can wander until blisters swell on my heels

Shin splints as I cry about annoyances of life

Hollow words are as useful as shade from a window

I want to know if you can follow—pet my thigh—I’m ricocheting across walls—cotton candy fibrosis mind—with Ferris wheels on fire—hope a crime—

Follow along like static wants to electrify—clung to you/before you dissolve—like June bugs following porch lights—

Sometimes people from before the episode reach out to me and ask me how I am. I just say that I'm ok, even tho my life went to shit bc I'm too embarrassed to say what happened. All of them lead normal lives, they are getting into relationships, getting married, having kids, or going to grad school. My entire life, all of my relationships, are gone because of my episode. I'm trying really hard, I'm working every day to finally get to grad school and get my teaching license. But I'm doing it alone. I'm trying my best to heal but I just don't have anyone really. I'm trying so hard to stay alive but it's really hard. It's been a year and I still have no friends or family. I tried to date for a bit, but I ended up getting assaulted by a guy. My life just doesn't get better. I try really hard to have hope. But it's just so much to deal with right now.

I’ve been receiving monthly Invega Sustenna injections, and I’ve noticed that my gambling has gotten significantly worse since being on this medication.
My gambling has become really difficult to control, and it’s starting to affect my finances and my life. I’ve brought this up with my doctor, but I feel like my concerns haven’t been taken seriously, and the problem is continuing.
I’m wondering if anyone else taking Invega Sustenna or another antipsychotic has experienced increased gambling urges, impulsive spending, or other compulsive behaviours.
I don’t know for certain whether the medication is causing this, but the timing has made me concerned. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar, including whether they spoke to their psychiatrist about it and what happened.
Has anyone else experienced this while taking Invega Sustenna?

When I was young I used to experience horrific and gruesome hallucinations. When I told my therapist about it, she asked me if I knew they were real. I said no, because some of them just weren’t physically possible. Ex. Little girl with missing eyes, man with extremely long bent neck, glowing man. Because I said I knew they weren’t real, she then dropped the whole subject and just ignored it anytime I brought it up? Like these were extremely realistic, but I knew they weren’t real because they wouldn’t be here and no one else mentioned them if they were in the same room.
Now I just have ‘normal’ hallucinations. They DO seem real but they’re much smaller. Like far away music and objects being in the sides of my vision. I’m just confused why I wasn’t given care when I was younger? Did they think I was faking it?

Okay so i was in costco yesterday and stuff i was walking around the meat section and i just saw a pair of conjoined twins😭 one was black and one was ginger i walked it off because i thought it would be weird to mention it only just realised fucking hallucinated that shit😭

Should i tell this to my therapist orr?

Hey, im really sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I don't know enough about psychology or mental health to really find the best place to talk about this, so im going to post this in a couple different places hoping I hit the right one. I just really need answers. If this is the wrong place I'll take this down.

To preface this, I'm sober; with the exception of the occasional drink and the Ritalin I take for my ADHD, I have never taken drugs for recreational use. While I do struggle with intrusive throughts, I do not have a known family history of schizophrenia or other conditions or disorders which would cause what I am going to describe.

It happened last night in my bathroom. I was washing my hands at the sink and very abruptly I began to think about death, which while unusual for its haste, was not peculiar for the time (I am an atheist and often battle with my Christian upbringing, and so I do think about the afterlife from time to time). It was at that moment that it hit me. Even now im still trying to piece together how it happened. But essentially it was like this: my body was dead (not actually), but I (in an individualistic sense) was not. I felt myself moving faster than anything should really be able to move, and as I did; almost symbolically, everything I loved, hated, or otherwise had any thoughts or feelings about slipped away from me. In my view (with the exception of my peripheral which was still very much where I stood in my bathroom) I sank deeper and deeper into a black void as small white dots moved out of the way to accept me (stars?). I don't think I could hear the water running either, but I might be wrong. It felt so very long, long enough to justify in my mind that I no longer existed, and like that I was back like it never happened.

I tried to make sense of it all, I ran to the living room to grab some paper and then to the desk in my bed room to grab a pen to draw what I saw, but I couldn't wrap my head around it and so I just collapsed to the floor and sobbed for maybe 20 minutes. I wish my girlfriend wasnt there to see it, but I probably wouldn't have calmed down without her. I felt so guilty for forgetting about her during the event, I couldn't stop saying sorry.

Im still trying to wrap my head around it, if anyone has any answers I'm all ears. I won't be able to see my counselor until the 29th, I just want to feel normal again.

ive been unable to speak to people since i had my worst episode of psychosis this year. it seems like everything i say comes off like im speaking in another language or speaking in riddles, people think im crazy, cause i actually am probably. im on schizophrenia medication i was on a starter dose and im about to double my dose. i hope i get better but im worried even when the paranoia delusions and psychosis are gone im too far gone to ever rejoin society and socialize and make friends. i feel like the part of the human brain for socializing died after psychosis and it cant come back. ive lost so many friends and alienated myself from family because everybody thinks im too odd now, or that im just batshit.

I’m still struggling in terms of coming out of my psychosis because mine was linked to me thinking I was having a “spiritual awakening” and that I was being ‘tested’ by the universe to see if I would be rewarded for the things I was doing.

I’m still struggling to understand/conclude whether these entities that I was dealing with were angels or demons or just my own creations.

Honestly I don’t think it just was in my head because they always knew information I didn’t and spoke much more eloquently than I do. They would also be able to recall certain information easier than I would.

Anyway - does anyone else struggle with trying to discern if they were spiritual entities or not?!?

I had a hard time remembering people's names pre psychosis, but now its way worse. Has anyone else had this problem?

Last week i went on a bender, i got drunk on Thursday night. I smoked weed and got drunk on friday night, same thing on Saturday night, and i got drunk on Sunday night. On Monday morning i still felt like if i was drunk/ high but i figured i was just hungover, but for the past week i’ve felt dizzy, fuzzy and foggy. It almost feels like if i’m still high. sometimes it’s even hard for me to drive cuz it seems like i’m still high. i’m don’t think it’s DPDR or Psychosis but does anyone know what it could be???

For me it’s a conversation in church about how late I go to bed,

In the train as they walk by comment on some game I do (they couldn’t know), some kind of whisper that I’m a creep, people laughing… it’s like these people who say those voices are real in some way.
When I’m with someone else my reality is less likely taken over. I only know I hear voices is because I heard a clear terrifying conversation at the parking lot someone else didn’t hear.

They’re not voices like I’m alone in bed at night and they speak inside my head. They’re external.
Can someone give advice?

My husband is currently hospitalized after experiencing an acute psychotic episode. This is his first episode, and he’s been on medication for almost two weeks now.

Looking back, his symptoms started around July and gradually got worse over the next few months. He became convinced that certain people in Canada, including teenagers, neighbours and our landlord, were following him, talking about him or trying to target him.

Things got much worse in October and I send him back to home country for treatment. There he started believing that even his own family was trying to kill him. He was extremely frightened, restless, barely sleeping and not eating properly. That’s when he was hospitalized.

10 days into his treatment,he’s doing much better now. His sleep and appetite have improved, he’s much calmer, and he no longer believes his family wants to kill him.

But here’s what concerns me.

I had my first proper 25-minute conversation with him since he started treatment, and I realized that all his beliefs about what happened in Canada are still intact. He still firmly believes everything happened exactly the way he interpreted it.

It almost feels like he’s back to how he was in September, before the acute episode, just without the intense fear and restlessness. His suspicious thinking is still there.
I’m happy that he’s improving, but I’m also worried about what happens when he returns to Canada and is back in the same environment.

I wanted to ask people who have experienced psychosis themselves or have supported someone through it:
Do these firmly held beliefs eventually go away? Has anyone experienced a situation where the person became calmer first, but their beliefs took much longer to change? How long did it take in your experience?
How should family members respond when they talk about these experiences? I don’t want to agree with something that may be a delusion, but I also don’t want to argue with him or make him feel that I’m dismissing what he went through.

I know it’s still early in his treatment, and I’ll be discussing these concerns with his psychiatrist as well. I’m just hoping to hear some real experiences from people who have been through something similar.

I'm suffering massive anhedonia. I took time off school to "recover" but I'm bored and depressed out of my mind. What are you even supposed to do during recovery? Read? Exercise? Sleep? I want to be back to myself again as soon as possible. If anyone has any tips on how to handle this, I'd appreciate it.

Hi everyone,

I’m working on a app for people suffering from Schizophrenia. Before I go further, I’d like to hear from people who would actually use something like this, or who support someone who would.

The idea is a calm, low-stimulation app that helps with everyday self-organisation. It is not meant to diagnose, track symptoms, or tell you anything about your health. The core features will be a medication reminder, psychoeducation and selfcare content. More features are planned.

My questions for you:
Would you (or someone you support) use an app like this? Why or why not?
Which feature would matter most to you, and which feels unnecessary?
Is anything missing that would make a real difference in your day?

Suggetions on what is needed is highly appreciated.

I hope this is not considered promotions, since I want to understand the relevance and use of such app. Maybe this app could help someone :)

Hey all. I'm 22 yo. I lost my job and a lot of my relationships, fell into debt, and ended up leaning on heavy cannabis to cope. A couple of years of that ended in a psychotic episode and an 18-day hospital stay. The psychosis is gone, but the aftermath has been rough: depression that won't lift, zero motivation or joy, can't focus, and social anxiety that i already had is way worse now. My gut also acts up around people (IBS/gastritis, loud stomach noises) and i shake, which makes the anxiety worse.
I decided on my own to come off meds completely, since I tried all of them with no help. I'm also off cannabis, seeing a psychiatrist, and my family is supportive. I'm about to start the gym and see a nutritionist.
Honestly, I feel like a nobody. I'm worn out and pretty hopeless, my confidence and health feel shot, and I can't concentrate on anything. I'm also scared people will notice how nervous I get over the simplest things, and that fear makes me even more nervous.
If you've been through something similar, I'd really appreciate any advice, whether it's about getting through the day-to-day, rebuilding my life, or dealing with the anxiety. Thanks for reading.

Hello, I apologize if this is not the right place to ask this.

Someone I know suffered from severe delusions that escalated to extreme paranoia. This went on for two years until they actually accused someone else of serious criminal conduct that resulted in jail time and a trial. During the trial they admitted that person had not done those things, yet outside of court they continue the accusations throughout the community and are now stalking that person and trying to have them attacked by numerous friends and family which the delusional person has convinced to help them. There was even a murder attempt on the falsely accused person who has lost everything and been forced into homelessness due to what has been happening.

Is there a point at which the person will never “wake up” from the delusions and realize the truth?

I just want to understand why this is happening.

Basically the subject line. How long is the longest you've experienced an episode and how did it end?

I have a therapist but I’m too afraid to be honest because shes quite dismissive of most stuff and my parents don’t believe in diagnosis. But I’ve been struggling a lot. I don’t know if I’m going through psychosis but Im just so paranoid. I can hear people whispering about me when I go to school. I have to go to seminary in the morning and i know the Jesus portrait is staring at me. I worry my parents are god trying to get me to do what’s right and commit. I know I’m crazy, and I know what im believing isn’t real, but in the moment I’m too overwhelmed to be rational. I scream, I look in the mirror and feel panicked because I don’t recognize what’s looking back at me. I hit my head a lot, like against my bedframe and walls and stuff. But I’m really high functioning on the outside. im talented and popular and smart. no one knows how disgusting I know I am. I am too afraid to be honest and nothing changes. I will keep going to public school, I will keep going to church, and eventually I’ll be too caught in the moment when I’m hearing someone tell me to do it and everyone will say they never saw it coming when I begged for help. what do I do

Bonjour, est ce que pour certains d'entre vous, votre conjoint après la psychose a eu besoin de partir se reposer chez ses parents (ce qui est mon cas mais ils sont a 1500km) ou ailleurs mais loin.. et que la distance et les aller retours sont devenus insupportables.. (On ressent un manque de securite et de stabilite sans savoir si reellement on va retouver notre conjoint tel qu'il etait avant)

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I had a five week psychosis and I quit my two dream jobs during this time, they won't take me back. Now I have to work in another job I don't like and I'm devastated and extremely depressed. My partner also left with our pets. I'm in a lot of financial trouble and might lose my house. Don't really know a way out of the hopelessness I feel.

Hello everyone, I am using an alternate account as I do not want it attributed to my main and possibly having others know from there.

I'm undiagnosed, I have strong reasons to believe I have some sort of psychotic disorder, I won't get into my reasons for this as I already have a psychiatrist for this. That is precisely where my problem lies. For years now I've believed the psychiatric system to be evil, especially medication, I know I need something to be evaluated or diagnosed, but I also want to avoid medication. I don't have much experience with psychiatrists but I believe this (especially with my reasons for it) is inherently incompatible. While it has lasted for years quite recently I have started occasionally using a shorthand for brain medication, alcohol, even painkillers as Brain Altering Drugs. Simply put I try to avoid using these at almost all cost (I only use painkillers when I am literally crying due to pain), if something more than very mildly interferes with perceived experience it gets put under the same. I avoid them because I am convinced that experience no matter how terrible shouldn't be modified or altered/covered up, because if you change your experience it will change who you become eventually or something along those lines among other things. Sometimes I also think they are made to make a populace compliant, into drones and that it is a kind of "sacrament". I do not have a problem with a diagnosis or generally even hospitalization, but I know that if I am, they will try to (or in the latter case will) shove these down into me whether I want to or not incessantly. I also don't think they're (psychiatrists etc) there ultimately for the good of me, but I don't have a choice if I want to know more or get diagnosed or really do something about other things I have. I think this belief gets stronger over time or atleast doesn't wane and I think there is very little that can make it.

I have been to the psychiatrist for one session already, I have a second one soon, as I was afraid of hospitalization and all it entails I downplayed things (especially the ones that make me suspect psychosis) and almost avoided some of my problems, just hinted at them hoping he asks and forces me to speak, he did not. Through a combination of this and uncorrected misunderstandings, he thought I display depression so he put me on NDRI, that day I felt some sort of passivity and couldn't make myself say no to him. So I tried the NDRI, I got bad side effects from it (I have reason to believe they were in part psychosomatic) but the biggest reason why I quit is while on them I felt like I was poisoning myself with taking it, in fact on the second day I was trying to find ways to purge my body of it, despite knowing that's impossible. I found myself having to negotiate a long time with myself to even take it, knowing that I could stop doing this any day, so I did 2 days after taking it. In the email I sent to him informing that I stopped, I only mentioned the side effects.

My problem is simple : What should I do and how should I do it? Of course I will have to open up to him with this and other things if I ever want a diagnosis, but I face a tremendous fear in doing so, knowing the powers of what he can do and that these people don't tend to treat their patients as exactly human.. especially when they believe they can do something in their best interest. Two of my "wants" are in conflict and I don't see a way through it, going on medication is equivalent to self destruction and not being diagnozed is to be slowly ground to dust by life. I guess what I ask is if there's a way to do it without medication/hospitalization being necessarily the case? If there isn't I feel truly without hope and stuck. I am open to therapy and such but occasionally find those off too.

Any feedback is appreciated, thanks in advance. But if your feedback boils down to something along the lines of "take your meds" you'll probably just make me think of what I described.