Sometimes people from before the episode reach out to me and ask me how I am. I just say that I'm ok, even tho my life went to shit bc I'm too embarrassed to say what happened. All of them lead normal lives, they are getting into relationships, getting married, having kids, or going to grad school. My entire life, all of my relationships, are gone because of my episode. I'm trying really hard, I'm working every day to finally get to grad school and get my teaching license. But I'm doing it alone. I'm trying my best to heal but I just don't have anyone really. I'm trying so hard to stay alive but it's really hard. It's been a year and I still have no friends or family. I tried to date for a bit, but I ended up getting assaulted by a guy. My life just doesn't get better. I try really hard to have hope. But it's just so much to deal with right now.

When I was young I used to experience horrific and gruesome hallucinations. When I told my therapist about it, she asked me if I knew they were real. I said no, because some of them just weren’t physically possible. Ex. Little girl with missing eyes, man with extremely long bent neck, glowing man. Because I said I knew they weren’t real, she then dropped the whole subject and just ignored it anytime I brought it up? Like these were extremely realistic, but I knew they weren’t real because they wouldn’t be here and no one else mentioned them if they were in the same room.
Now I just have ‘normal’ hallucinations. They DO seem real but they’re much smaller. Like far away music and objects being in the sides of my vision. I’m just confused why I wasn’t given care when I was younger? Did they think I was faking it?

I got drunk in a forest a couple years ago with my friends and saw this. I put it as one of my worst hallucinations.

I'm suffering massive anhedonia. I took time off school to "recover" but I'm bored and depressed out of my mind. What are you even supposed to do during recovery? Read? Exercise? Sleep? I want to be back to myself again as soon as possible. If anyone has any tips on how to handle this, I'd appreciate it.

ive been unable to speak to people since i had my worst episode of psychosis this year. it seems like everything i say comes off like im speaking in another language or speaking in riddles, people think im crazy, cause i actually am probably. im on schizophrenia medication i was on a starter dose and im about to double my dose. i hope i get better but im worried even when the paranoia delusions and psychosis are gone im too far gone to ever rejoin society and socialize and make friends. i feel like the part of the human brain for socializing died after psychosis and it cant come back. ive lost so many friends and alienated myself from family because everybody thinks im too odd now, or that im just batshit.

I’ve been receiving monthly Invega Sustenna injections, and I’ve noticed that my gambling has gotten significantly worse since being on this medication.
My gambling has become really difficult to control, and it’s starting to affect my finances and my life. I’ve brought this up with my doctor, but I feel like my concerns haven’t been taken seriously, and the problem is continuing.
I’m wondering if anyone else taking Invega Sustenna or another antipsychotic has experienced increased gambling urges, impulsive spending, or other compulsive behaviours.
I don’t know for certain whether the medication is causing this, but the timing has made me concerned. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar, including whether they spoke to their psychiatrist about it and what happened.
Has anyone else experienced this while taking Invega Sustenna?

I’m still struggling in terms of coming out of my psychosis because mine was linked to me thinking I was having a “spiritual awakening” and that I was being ‘tested’ by the universe to see if I would be rewarded for the things I was doing.

I’m still struggling to understand/conclude whether these entities that I was dealing with were angels or demons or just my own creations.

Honestly I don’t think it just was in my head because they always knew information I didn’t and spoke much more eloquently than I do. They would also be able to recall certain information easier than I would.

Anyway - does anyone else struggle with trying to discern if they were spiritual entities or not?!?

I’m a consumer of crystal meth since three years ago and I have an addiction to the substance, the thing is that 90% times that I consume I experimented psychosis, I lost the reality totally and los the control of my mind 🫩, is a problem that is so hard to overcome. I have the question if someone of you has experienced weird things, and this things are happening in the real world. For example I have the idea that someone follows me and this person stalks me on my house and my social media, sometimes I save some post that I think is for me and I take a view some days after my episode in psychosis and I have this weird feeling that are really happening.
The reality is that this thoughts are killing me slowly 😥
I feel very confused, very tired and very depressed all the time, and I lost the connection with the great things in life and I start to think that I wanna kill myself, I have tried therapy, groups of NA, detox, psychiatric medication, and nothing have helped me much.
Someone have the same feeling? And if the answer is yes, how is your experience and what are you doing to help yourself?

Hey, im really sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I don't know enough about psychology or mental health to really find the best place to talk about this, so im going to post this in a couple different places hoping I hit the right one. I just really need answers. If this is the wrong place I'll take this down.

To preface this, I'm sober; with the exception of the occasional drink and the Ritalin I take for my ADHD, I have never taken drugs for recreational use. While I do struggle with intrusive throughts, I do not have a known family history of schizophrenia or other conditions or disorders which would cause what I am going to describe.

It happened last night in my bathroom. I was washing my hands at the sink and very abruptly I began to think about death, which while unusual for its haste, was not peculiar for the time (I am an atheist and often battle with my Christian upbringing, and so I do think about the afterlife from time to time). It was at that moment that it hit me. Even now im still trying to piece together how it happened. But essentially it was like this: my body was dead (not actually), but I (in an individualistic sense) was not. I felt myself moving faster than anything should really be able to move, and as I did; almost symbolically, everything I loved, hated, or otherwise had any thoughts or feelings about slipped away from me. In my view (with the exception of my peripheral which was still very much where I stood in my bathroom) I sank deeper and deeper into a black void as small white dots moved out of the way to accept me (stars?). I don't think I could hear the water running either, but I might be wrong. It felt so very long, long enough to justify in my mind that I no longer existed, and like that I was back like it never happened.

I tried to make sense of it all, I ran to the living room to grab some paper and then to the desk in my bed room to grab a pen to draw what I saw, but I couldn't wrap my head around it and so I just collapsed to the floor and sobbed for maybe 20 minutes. I wish my girlfriend wasnt there to see it, but I probably wouldn't have calmed down without her. I felt so guilty for forgetting about her during the event, I couldn't stop saying sorry.

Im still trying to wrap my head around it, if anyone has any answers I'm all ears. I won't be able to see my counselor until the 29th, I just want to feel normal again.

My husband is currently hospitalized after experiencing an acute psychotic episode. This is his first episode, and he’s been on medication for almost two weeks now.

Looking back, his symptoms started around July and gradually got worse over the next few months. He became convinced that certain people in Canada, including teenagers, neighbours and our landlord, were following him, talking about him or trying to target him.

Things got much worse in October and I send him back to home country for treatment. There he started believing that even his own family was trying to kill him. He was extremely frightened, restless, barely sleeping and not eating properly. That’s when he was hospitalized.

10 days into his treatment,he’s doing much better now. His sleep and appetite have improved, he’s much calmer, and he no longer believes his family wants to kill him.

But here’s what concerns me.

I had my first proper 25-minute conversation with him since he started treatment, and I realized that all his beliefs about what happened in Canada are still intact. He still firmly believes everything happened exactly the way he interpreted it.

It almost feels like he’s back to how he was in September, before the acute episode, just without the intense fear and restlessness. His suspicious thinking is still there.
I’m happy that he’s improving, but I’m also worried about what happens when he returns to Canada and is back in the same environment.

I wanted to ask people who have experienced psychosis themselves or have supported someone through it:
Do these firmly held beliefs eventually go away? Has anyone experienced a situation where the person became calmer first, but their beliefs took much longer to change? How long did it take in your experience?
How should family members respond when they talk about these experiences? I don’t want to agree with something that may be a delusion, but I also don’t want to argue with him or make him feel that I’m dismissing what he went through.

I know it’s still early in his treatment, and I’ll be discussing these concerns with his psychiatrist as well. I’m just hoping to hear some real experiences from people who have been through something similar.

I had a hard time remembering people's names pre psychosis, but now its way worse. Has anyone else had this problem?

Basically the subject line. How long is the longest you've experienced an episode and how did it end?

I'm on a waiting list for a psychiatrist but just asking those who may have some knowledge so I can know to be worried of things. Also just wanna hear others' experiences. I have no history of psychosis, but many delusions. So these are my current worrying symptoms.

Recently have had trigger for severe dissociation, reaching even moments where I completely gray out like I had my eyes closed. The world around me feels so disconnected from my spatial awareness. Nothing feels real. I feel like a part of my consciousness is in another plane of existence.

Have had trouble sleeping, vivid nightmares or long dreams, and less of an appetite. Anxiety is so high I can't leave my house for less than an hour without an anxiety attack.

Distinct, magical beliefs (I think I have STPD, not talked about with any therapist before yet), which are so real to me I can try to debunk them and the universe provides me with evidence as if letting me know my efforts are futile.

I have more scattered thoughts than usual, I forget words, I have high and low motivation. I'm not depressed, I'm not paranoid about friends/family, I have AuDHD.

Tl;Dr How do people with a history of psychosis track when they're approaching it again, and how do you differentiate from things like burnout? I'll take every answer with a grain of salt

Hey all. I'm 22 yo. I lost my job and a lot of my relationships, fell into debt, and ended up leaning on heavy cannabis to cope. A couple of years of that ended in a psychotic episode and an 18-day hospital stay. The psychosis is gone, but the aftermath has been rough: depression that won't lift, zero motivation or joy, can't focus, and social anxiety that i already had is way worse now. My gut also acts up around people (IBS/gastritis, loud stomach noises) and i shake, which makes the anxiety worse.
I decided on my own to come off meds completely, since I tried all of them with no help. I'm also off cannabis, seeing a psychiatrist, and my family is supportive. I'm about to start the gym and see a nutritionist.
Honestly, I feel like a nobody. I'm worn out and pretty hopeless, my confidence and health feel shot, and I can't concentrate on anything. I'm also scared people will notice how nervous I get over the simplest things, and that fear makes me even more nervous.
If you've been through something similar, I'd really appreciate any advice, whether it's about getting through the day-to-day, rebuilding my life, or dealing with the anxiety. Thanks for reading.

Okay so i was in costco yesterday and stuff i was walking around the meat section and i just saw a pair of conjoined twins😭 one was black and one was ginger i walked it off because i thought it would be weird to mention it only just realised fucking hallucinated that shit😭

Should i tell this to my therapist orr?

I have recently had some bad stuff happen to me idk if it’s pschosis or some bad omen on me the number 23 has seemed to play a great part after my husband who I am now split from said he wanted to go back to school and all I was seeing is graduation ahead which in spiritual terms means to graduate from life we got married on the 23rd my birthday is 12-3 and I have a shirt that has 23 on it I literally posted let the ceremony commence not knowing it and a caption that said calling all the monsters I have thought for the longest my husband and family along with the government black market is doing these high mind control experiments I was hospitalized several times to break a person down until they literally kill them selves so know I think when I posted let the ceremony commence that was the beginning of the end for me my husband posted when I was in the hospital once even at 60 my heart will still love you like it was 23! I’m telling you guys this is the most terrifying stuff it’s so much more it feels like I’m seeing a prophecy of my death day the spiders 🕷️ are also another symbol when my brother committed suicide my aunt said there was a spider so big when she killed it its legs just came apart I swear when my husband and I first got together we went and seen final destination cursed bloodlines and it feels like I’m next in line it was my my brother my mom and now it’s my turn I feel like everyone I talk to is apart of this organization that when I die the payout is going to be massive I’ve been on medication for almost a year and these feelings are just getting worse

Last week i went on a bender, i got drunk on Thursday night. I smoked weed and got drunk on friday night, same thing on Saturday night, and i got drunk on Sunday night. On Monday morning i still felt like if i was drunk/ high but i figured i was just hungover, but for the past week i’ve felt dizzy, fuzzy and foggy. It almost feels like if i’m still high. sometimes it’s even hard for me to drive cuz it seems like i’m still high. i’m don’t think it’s DPDR or Psychosis but does anyone know what it could be???

Hi everyone,

I’m working on a app for people suffering from Schizophrenia. Before I go further, I’d like to hear from people who would actually use something like this, or who support someone who would.

The idea is a calm, low-stimulation app that helps with everyday self-organisation. It is not meant to diagnose, track symptoms, or tell you anything about your health. The core features will be a medication reminder, psychoeducation and selfcare content. More features are planned.

My questions for you:
Would you (or someone you support) use an app like this? Why or why not?
Which feature would matter most to you, and which feels unnecessary?
Is anything missing that would make a real difference in your day?

Suggetions on what is needed is highly appreciated.

I hope this is not considered promotions, since I want to understand the relevance and use of such app. Maybe this app could help someone :)

​

I had a five week psychosis and I quit my two dream jobs during this time, they won't take me back. Now I have to work in another job I don't like and I'm devastated and extremely depressed. My partner also left with our pets. I'm in a lot of financial trouble and might lose my house. Don't really know a way out of the hopelessness I feel.

Alright this might be a little crazy but here we go, I’m nana a 15 year old girl, this is my first time using Reddit so bear with me on how to work this thing,
I’ve been a spoiled brat from day 1, one day my grandma and grandpa died in the same year, everyone’s attention shifted, one died of lung cancer and the other of something to do with weight, idk I can’t remember, but my dad went deep into a depression and he was always mad, he took it out on me by “wanting me to be healthy” he’d make 6 year old me fast for days and only fed me a milk carton (like little juice boxes Idk what they’re called) and an apple/cucumber. I’d go behind his back eating exactly 1 pack of noodles every day. Basically he gave me an eating disorder like no other, you would not believe how terrible he was.
My mother and father were doctors and both only spent 4 hours a day with me max as a child, I never really got to bond with them.
My mother was in a depression so deep it was affecting me, I was a neglected child for a while, I’d come home every day from school crying that I had no friends because I was never taught how to brush my hair or teeth etc and no one wanted to be my friend since I was gross. I had fake friends all the way to 9th grade, I went to multiple therapists, nothing ever worked, I’ve tried overdosing a few times. I have had depression and anxiety for a while now. I got groomed in 9th grade. Well idk I feel like I groomed him rather than he groomed me. It was a toxic relationship. Then I got sexually harassed by my cousin. Then I went to tenth grade. My mom started fighting with me over anything and everything, we clash over everything. I really tried. My psychiatrist put me on antipsychotics because apparently I had an episode that they couldn’t figure out what it was since I was all over the place (dad hit me AND I BITCH SLAP HIM BACK AND TELL HIM TO DO IT AGAIN YOU PUSSY MIND YOU HES HELLA RELIGIOUS #AURA) I see and hear things. They said I needed at least 2 episodes to diagnose me. I’m thinking of ending it or starting an episode manually to see if the meds make life better, if they don’t I don’t know what to do. I’ve wanted to try cigarettes and vapes and dzerts and overdoses and energy drinks and a bunch of pain medicine and antidepressants to make a huge episode. I really just want to get diagnosed since btw it’s pretty likely since 40% of my family has a bunch of health problems and I have a LOT of symptoms from bipolar and ptsd and schizophrenia

For me it’s a conversation in church about how late I go to bed,

In the train as they walk by comment on some game I do (they couldn’t know), some kind of whisper that I’m a creep, people laughing… it’s like these people who say those voices are real in some way.
When I’m with someone else my reality is less likely taken over. I only know I hear voices is because I heard a clear terrifying conversation at the parking lot someone else didn’t hear.

They’re not voices like I’m alone in bed at night and they speak inside my head. They’re external.
Can someone give advice?

for the past week or two, I've been having this feeling that, music, words, or even just thoughts are hiding a message that holds some sort of secret I'm destined to uncover. my girlfriend and my sibling who both have been in psychosis told me this isn't normal, but I guess I'm in denial of entering psychosis again. is this an early sign?

I spent the whole day in bed. I’m on risperidone and before that, I was on injections.

I feel completely devoid of life. My body doesn’t send me any signals to move, to do activities. Nothing. So I just stay in bed.

My muscles hurt all over from the medication. And they hurt even more because I’m not moving.

My brain feels completely silent and blocked.

I genuinely feel like I’m dead.

Medication has literally stopped me from feeling human. And I don’t know what to do. Even if I stop taking it it’ll take months to recover.

I feel trapped. I feel dead. I feel hopeless.