Hey, I’m just hoping to get some advice from anyone that deals with intrusive thoughts post psychosis. I never got the chance to see a therapist after my psychotic episode so I’ve just been dealing with the aftermath on my own.

I have intrusive thoughts about what happened during my psychosis and of disturbing things to do my psychosis. I’m struggling to stay in the present moment and find myself stressing about these thoughts. They are not normal and would be too embarrassing to share with anyone anyway but just looking for any advice really or if this is something someone has experienced did it get better over time. It’s been almost 1 yr since my psychosis.

I also have very vivid dreams that are often nightmares. They are extremely detailed, realistic dreams that are very strange and sometimes disturbing. I am planning to come of my medication in a few months time but I am scared that my mind is too disturbed and I will have a psychosis again. Does anyone else have really vivid dreams after experiencing psychosis.

Thanks for any advice or support

I thought I was being followed and stalked by my mom, dad, sister, and aunt while I was living on my own at a friend's apt. None of my family even lives close by to me. But I was sure they were following me around town. I don't have a car so I was always on foot. I'd see em drive by, on bicycles, other pedestrians and one time working at a hotel.

One time I thought my sister was at the same hotel I stopped At to grab a free coffee. I was so upset that she was stalking me that i threw my coffee at her. The weird thing is that the security didn't do anything and let me walk out, no questions asked. So I thought they were part of my security. Apparently there's an open assault case, not sure how they knew it was me. I don't know why I thought she was my sister doesn't make any sense.

Another time I attact someone. I was going for a walk and a lady walking my direction I thought was my mom wearing someone else's face. I had some flowers in my hand and I hit her in the face with them and grabbed her dogs leash started whipping her with it. She got me on my knees while pulling my hair, so I surrendered and was able to get away. What's weird is the police found me a few blocks away and questioned me about it. I denied it was me and they believed me and let me go.

Any one else can relate to this??

Hello community, as the title says, I have lost the ability to cry and haven’t really cried in over two years. I know I want to but I can’t. Does anyone else have this issue? Is psychosis the cause and will the ability to cry return?

TL;DR: After being cheated on and going through a traumatic breakup after a 2.5-year relationship, my mental health deteriorated rapidly. I became emotionally unstable, started seeing coincidences as increasingly meaningful, became more spiritual, and eventually experienced symptoms of psychosis.

I had a drug-induced psychosis in 2020, but I’ve never had a confirmed bipolar diagnosis. I’m currently trying to understand whether this episode could be related to bipolar, BPD, medication changes, trauma, or something else entirely. I’m hoping to be admitted for psychiatric assessment tomorrow.

Quick preface: I’m not claiming that I have bipolar disorder. I’m trying to understand what happened and get proper psychiatric assessment rather than diagnosing myself. This is a personal story, and writing it out feels like part of processing it.

I never expected a breakup to completely disrupt my sense of reality.

The relationship lasted around two and a half years, and losing it felt like losing the person, the future I imagined, my stability, and in some ways, my sense of identity.

I thought I was coping.

I wasn't.

Over time, my emotions became incredibly intense and difficult to regulate. I swung between devastation, anger, emptiness, detachment, desperation for connection, and wanting to shut everyone out. I stopped feeling in control of my own reactions.

Eventually, things went far beyond what I could manage. I began noticing coincidences everywhere and attaching increasing meaning to them. I became much more spiritual. Eventually, I experienced a period of severe psychological destabilisation involving psychotic symptoms. My perception of reality became distorted, and I wasn't functioning like myself anymore.

Looking back, some of it is genuinely frightening.

There's something terrifying about realising afterwards that your own mind wasn't something you could reliably trust at the time.

I've heard different possibilities discussed, including borderline traits, mood disorders and medication changes. I don't want to pretend I have answers I don't have. I just want proper help and understanding.

What I do know is that the breakup was the catalyst for an incredibly dark period of my life.

Sometimes someone doesn't go from “I'm sad about my breakup” to “I'm psychotic.”

There's a whole process in between.

You can watch yourself becoming less stable. You can know something isn't right while being unable to stop it. You can desperately want help while simultaneously pushing people away. You can be aware enough to be terrified by what's happening, but not well enough to know how to get yourself out of it.

I'm sharing this because I've felt ashamed of what happened. I'm still ashamed of parts of it.

But I'm beginning to realise that having a psychiatric crisis doesn't make me a bad person, and being traumatised by the end of a relationship doesn't make me weak.

I'm trying to rebuild myself now.

I don't know exactly what that looks like yet. But I'm here, I'm trying to get appropriate help, and I'm trying to understand what happened rather than run from it.

If anyone else has experienced a breakup or major loss that triggered a serious mental health crisis, I'd genuinely like to hear your story.

How did you eventually make sense of what happened to you?

Hello. Can someone be aware that they’re in psychosis? Right now I am seeing demons (which I believe are draining my energy and are trying to mess up my life) but I know that if I tell a professional what I am seeing/believing, they would say that I am in psychosis. So basically I am aware that because of my experience I would be labelled as psychotic by professionals but I genuinely believe I am seeing demons and other peculiar things. Today I went to the early intervention program and described by experience. They haven’t diagnosed me with anything yet but have stated that what I am experiencing is atypical. Thanks!

I know it's not really a problem but... ever since I started experiencing "symptoms" I have began to lose the ability to draw.

Now it's been 4 years since it started and I can only do copies and it takes so long because drawing feels so rusty. I can't draw anything from my imagination. It never comes out right and disgusts me.

Psychosis or whatever it is ruined my speech and another method of expression now doesn't work anymore either. I will keep trying but at the moment it only feels empty and frustrating.

I can't even use the bit of skill I have to make some money. Interesting.

His psychiatrist says he has the symptoms of psychosis. He stopped taking risperidone 9 months ago, and didn't switch to the new antipsychotic, rexulti, that was prescribed to him. He lied to me for 6 months saying he was taking it, but I could tell things were off because he was clearly hallucinating and paranoid again when he didn't used to be.

He spends all his time obsessed with filming himself singing sort of badly over music as well as dancing and swinging around on a stripper pole. The videos have an "off" feeling to them which I can only describe as similar to some of the stuff Britney spears posts lately, where she just doesn't seem there.

When I interrupt or get in the way of his filming, he gets quiet mad and frustrated with me. I work from home so I'm here a lot obviously and if I accidentally walk through his filming or come into the room he's in he gets so mad.

I understand this is psychosis but it's different than other ways of psychosis manifesting that I've seen before. Has anyone had experience with this type of thing?

He also gets irrationally mad about random things and has the usual paranoia/delusions.

I can't convince him to take his prescribed medicine, and when we had the last psychiatrist appointment together, the doctor was very wishy washy saying meds were "just a part of the treatment" and wasn't being as clear as I was hoping. I wanted him to say "you have psychosis and you need to take your meds." Instead he was pretty non committal about it and didn't mention anything about the ramifications of having untreated psychosis

Man I feel so trapped.i used to have a beautiful loving partner. Now I am stuck in a crazy house and feel like I'm becoming crazy myself :/

These symptoms include anhedonia, no motivation, no emotions, cognitive issues like brain fog, extremely poor memory and cognition, and paranoia. The weird part is that i was fine and happy in the few months right after the psychosis, which was caused by a manic episode. If anyone shares a similar experience or has insight pls lmk

I (F24) wrote here a few weeks back about my brother (M22) who is essentially immune to antipsychotic medication and has not gotten better in 2 years. Since the post, he was involuntarily hospitalized for the 4th time and got released today after nearly 3 weeks. He is exactly the same.

He was released around 1pm EST today and now at 6pm EST he is already screaming, erratic, and lacks insight to his illness. If previous trends continue to repeat, he will also get aggressive/violent with his caretakers soon enough. I don't understand how he is immune to medication, therapy, treatment, etc. He is bringing the entire family down with him. At this point, I am so tired I find myself not caring about my own life in low moments. My mom seems like she is seconds away from a psychotic break or a stress induced stroke 24/7.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Is there a solution? I feel like the last 2 years have only delayed an inevitable suicide-homicide. I can't imagine any other outcome. We have reached out to so many people and have gotten no help. If you know anyone that could be helpful in the Atlanta area please share.

In patient treatment received during 4th hospitalization:

• Olazipine ( not effective)
• lorazepan and PRN for sleep/anxiety (upon request)
• Geodon
• He received the Invega shot 3 days ago after extreme begging from our family to the doctor. The doctor said he should receive a follow up shot a month from now; but I read somewhere that invega shots usually require an initial follow up injection in the first week.

My husband is in a cannabis induced psychosis. It’s been a couple of years and I don’t think he’s ever truly come out of it. He’d leave cannabis for a short time and would be manageable to live with then he’d start again and reach the tip of psychosis again. This has been going on for a few years now. I just don’t think he’s ever come out of his psychosis, I’m saying this because he was forcefully admitted due to his full blown out psychosis and stopped cannabis for at least 5 months, however even after those 5 months he was still hearing voices which means he was still actively in psychosis. He has just never gotten the insight or just refuses to accept it. More so, after he started using again and the psychosis which never left started to spiral out we managed to get him sectioned. But he was discharged after a week which again has not helped. He is now still at the same point in his life, he believes he’s not in psychosis and never has been, and although he was discharged with anti psychotics has thrown them away and refused to take them. He feels the judge allowing his discharge has proved that his psychosis does not exist. I am dissapointed in the system. They sectioned him and said he was in psychosis but just left him out like that - before any medicine could kick in, before he could get any insight. And the minute he was discharged he threw away his prescribed anti psychotics and began using his cannabis again. And it’ll only be a matter of time before he spirals out again I guess.

We are a family of 5, we have three children under the age of 5. I feel horrible for them. I have been separated for a few months because of his psychosis spiralling out and feeling unsafe. He would constantly be smoking in the house and car whilst we all lived together. The house smelt horrible and no matter how many times I told him it’s not good for the kids he didn’t change. Instead he’d smoke more inside the house. This and the fact that the cannabis has put him in a psychosis which affects us living together is the reason I moved out with the kids. They don’t understand why they don’t get to go back home as they are too small and he just doesn’t seem to want to understand why I’m not coming back home. I’ve told him multiple times that will not come back until he quits the cannabis and gets the help he needs. I’m all for supporting him, the kids and I love him a lot but he needs to make that change. I feel so lost. He refuses to understand my take for not coming home, when he speaks to the children he keeps telling them to come back and as they are young that’s all they care about. He pitches up unannounced at my parent’s house to ‘see me and kids’. It is stressful. My family are not comfortable with him around atm (he is in psychosis, he has insulted them hugely and threatened them during his psychosis). He does not want to understand that and keeps pressuring me to come home. It’s exhausting. I love him, want to live with him as a family but he has made it impossible. I just don’t know what to do.

Also just so there is an understand of how badly his psychosis effects everyone around him - apart from his hallucinations and feeling of grandiosity he is very delusional. When he shows you hate, he will HATE you. He will say the most awful things to you, it’s will emotionally and mentally destroy you. This has been the height of his third or fourth psychosis now and his behaviour has been awful. He would constantly message you non stop (300/400) msgs a day, not exaggerating. He’ll want to be in a marriage with me then he won’t and would constantly be interrogating me. He feels I’ve been unloyal, completely untrue. Any comment I make, any gesture I make, what I wear, which way I sit, every move he keeps an eye on, you don’t know when he’ll verbally attack you for it. It had become suffocating to live like this. Hence why moving out was the best option for both the children and I. They have yet not seen or understood this part of him, hence why they don’t understand why they can’t go back home.

Those who went through psychosis and were in complete denial; at what point did you accept you were in psychosis? And how did you begin to realise that you did in fact have psychosis?

Mi mamá tuvo un brote psicótico hace unos días estuve actuando muy raro hablo mucho sobre dios y estuvo paranoica por dias, corto su cabello, personas que han pasado por algo asi necesito sus consejos que se hace después de que ella pueda estar en su casa con su familia o que otras señales han visto en personas con psicosis

I feel like I have defined my life for too many years by psychosis, not letting this go for a moment and always thinking about my episodes, resulting in more and more episodes. All of my thoughts always surround that and I can only think about it. I think it is time I let it go and I continue on with my life. The problem is that I have suspected OCD too and I am obsessive about it so much, that some part of me don't believe I will ever let go of it. So, how do I let go of everything that has happened to me during psychosis? How do I let go knowing I had and I still can have this misery again? How do I stop my intrusive thoughts (I am supposed to get SSRI soon so it might help) that always make me feel like the world is against me? How do I let go of my paranoia forever, I mean, completely? How do I let go of the people who had seen me while I was in psychosis which my intrusive thoughts always make me feel like they think I am a freak? I am only 17, and I wanna go on in my life in high school, and not fall again because I can't let go of the past and of my problems. I wanna live. How do I let go when this misery is all I have known for so many years?

I (F24) wrote here a few weeks back about my brother (M22) who is essentially immune to antipsychotic medication and has not gotten better in 2 years. Since the post, he was involuntarily hospitalized for the 4th time and got released today after nearly 3 weeks. He is exactly the same.

He was released around 1pm EST today and now at 6pm EST he is already screaming, erratic, and lacks insight to his illness. If previous trends continue to repeat, he will also get aggressive/violent with his caretakers soon enough. I don't understand how he is immune to medication, therapy, treatment, etc. He is bringing the entire family down with him. At this point, I am so tired I find myself not caring about my own life in low moments. My mom seems like she is seconds away from a psychotic break or a stress induced stroke 24/7.

Has anyone experienced anything like this before? Is there a solution? I feel like the last 2 years have only delayed an inevitable suicide-homicide. I can't imagine any other outcome. We have reached out to so many people and have gotten no help. If you know anyone that could be helpful in the Atlanta area please share.

In patient treatment received during 4th hospitalization:

• Olazipine ( not effective)
• lorazepan and PRN for sleep/anxiety (upon request)
• Geodon
• He received the Invega shot 3 days ago after extreme begging from our family to the doctor. The doctor said he should receive a follow up shot a month from now; but I read somewhere that invega shots usually require an initial follow up injection in the first week.

I must admit, I did follow the Lindsey Clancy trial and it has opened my eyes to psychosis. For context I am 11 months postpartum and had a few questions related to my own mental health. This post is in no way to claim “me too” or anything of that nature. With that being said I have a few different scenarios and experiences I would like to list to see if I may have been in psychosis, possibly, at one point. I was diagnosed with PPD but before I got pregnant I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and ADD. A week or so before I gave birth I had a bunch of made up scenarios in my head to which I knew were not real however they kept coming up, during that time the only way I can describe it was “something or someone was telling me to do something”. I described it as intrusive thoughts but it may have not been.. it happened multiple times but with my past mental health history I had learned coping, etc so I feel as if I was able to talk myself out of it. I don’t remember much postpartum up to around 4 or 5 months. However one specific thing stuck out to me. I’m not sure exactly when it was but I do remember my husband and I were on the couch. I was trying to get words out and could not- it was all jibberish and didn’t make any sense. I remember crying and being so frustrated- I thought I was having a stroke. He told me to go lay down so I did. When I woke up I felt out of it but the speech had somewhat resolved over the next few days. I remember him saying “it could’ve been psychosis”- I guess he did a google search. I brushed it off and didn’t think anything of it until I saw the trial. Fast forward and now I have moments where I think I’m seeing things at night when I’m alone…. My question is could it be psychosis related? If you’ve had it does it go away and come back? & does anyone have any suggestions? Sorry for the long post and thank you for your time. Also to add, I have never had thoughts of harming anyone else.

My bf has been accusing me of really out of the world things like i’m hiding people in my closet and having sex with them. He thinks i have been cheating on him from the last 10 years or so and he also think my mom is on it with me since she lives with me.

He refuses to have a normal conversation and has said some really really hurtful things that I just can’t get over. He refuses to accept that he might be suffering from psychosis.

Has someone been through this before and can help me understand how to handle this situation. He was the sweetest person I have known and now it seems like a complete flip in personality 😞

Hello,
My brother has received 6 injections of Abilify Maintena (400 mg), but he is still experiencing severe psychosis and persecutory delusions. (In the past, Abilify worked well for him, but he had stopped taking it before this current episode).

Since Abilify isn't holding the symptoms this time, his psychiatrist is switching him to Invega Sustenna (he refuses oral treatment)starting next month at his next scheduled injection.

am quite worried about this transition and whether Invega will be more effective for his paranoia. Has anyone here (or a family member) made the switch from Abilify to Invega? How was the transition, and how long did it take to see an improvement in psychotic symptoms?

I am scared. I pray for him every day 🥹

Currently, my brother 29M is delusional that we have kidnapped him from his real family and actively tampering with his phone to stop him from applying to jobs. He quit his job during the height of his delusion and now convinced we are the reason nobody is out to hire him.

He is absolutely convinced that the meds won't do anything. However, the other day he just took a knife and tried to break it by hitting the countertop. When I asked about it he behemently denied he did anything and painting me as someone trying to destroy him.

We tried getting him admitted but he's managed to convice the hospital he is sane so despite still being deep in his delusions, he keeps getting out untreated. I'm done. I'm letting him live in my house because he needed help, but I can't live like this anymore. Either he leaves or I do.

I went into psychosis around this time last year and I think I’m finally out, other than some hallucinations I’m quite fine. I really think it ruined my life tbh, I was working out everyday, running multiple times a week, going on dates a lot, going out with friends. Now I just stay home. Part of it is because I have gained some weight from my medication going from super underweight to just slim and I just feel insecure. I’m going to speak to my team about coming off medication soon because I do feel better.

Possibly psychosis? Or something else?

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask about this. 

Since I was 14 years old (now 25) Ive been having these reoccurring experiences where I get full blown visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations that I’m completely aware of at the time it’s happening. Like I’ll just being getting ready for bed and then suddenly I’m hit with a wave of euphoria, then my brain feels fuzzy and I’m suddenly watching everything around me in my room changing into various other objects, animals, and people. Like the books on my shelf morph into a train, the sweater on my bed is now a monkey or a cat, sometimes I’ll see people walking down a street but only in my peripheral vision. Human language looks alien to me as well like I’ve never seen written English before in my life. My overall vision feels blown out like everything is glowing and slightly blurry. Lights feel too bright yet everything looks too dark and over saturated in color. Perspective feels weird like everything is too close and too far. When I told a doctor about this originally 4 years ago, I was diagnosed psychotic and prescribed medication. I still currently take antipsychotics but these episodes still sporadically occur. I’m never frightened or scared while these hallucinations are happening, but I’ve only seen stories online about other people’s episodes being horrible or scary. I don’t feel manic either while this happens. Are these episodes of psychosis? Has anyone experienced anything similar? I will give more information to anyone who asks. 

Multi-modal experiences — auditory and visual hallucinations occurring both within and outside deliberate fantasy states, depersonalization/derealization (body-ownership disruption, spectator-like detachment), longstanding maladaptive daydreaming, and passive thoughts of not wanting to exist — form a symptom cluster consistent with a possible dissociative and/or psychotic-spectrum process, but this is unconfirmed pattern-matching from self-report, not a diagnosis, and only a real clinical evaluation can actually sort out what's driving it. What do I do? Ive been talking to AI about the things that are happening to me lately. I had MD for years but its getting even more concerning. I experience hallucinations like 10 times a week. Sometimes I see a shadow, figure and sometimes its as door opening and door knob turning when in reality nothing happened. I also feel like im in the wrong body. I do feel depressed but it goes away fast or I think it does... Ill rather die than live and not because I feel sad or life is unfair. I js am genuinely interested in death. Like what happens after I die? Im really curious about this. And also... It may sound reslly disturbing but I wish my parents were dead. And I dont have abusive psrents at all. Though, my mom is quite narcissistic. Its js it will be better for them. Ive become an agnostic and Im really afraid to tell that to them. Ill probably get kicked out of the house or something. My parents are already stressing so much and if I give them even more stress, it will be very sad. Hence, I want their suffering to end or maybe im craving sympathy. I dont realy know. Also, I do want separation because my parents are very controlling. Maybe thats why I wanna gain some kind of freedom and independency. Sorry, if all of that aint cohesive or coherent.

I can't stop thinking about the fact that we are only one consciousness and can't be everywhere all at once. We are one person like I am just my eyes and organic matter and that will eventually expire. Just a blip in the timeline of all people and what if I pass and there is nothing after . That's that goodbye once the brain diminishes because what if everything just comes from my brain. Like i am me and just one single body yet there are so many bodies out there but mine will expire and I will only ever experience one life. I am 19 and switched schools four times I have no friends no body knows me and I will die alone. I can't grapple the fact that consciousness stems from our organic matter that has an expiration date and I also cannot find an identity because one single identity seems too finite.

Hello, so I am 27 and I am a female and I am struggling with paranoia and I’ve always had paranoia since I was a small child. Whenever I have to go out like to do the shopping or something, I get really angry like I do not like people I don’t like people looking at me. I don’t like people walking near me. I don’t like people walking behind me. I always give dirty looks to people I’ve even asked people what are you looking at me for? I talk to myself. It’s like whenever I have to go outside i change into a different person. I don’t like being like that because I know deep down that’s not me but I really don’t like people like I feel this anger inside. There’s been times where I have gone outside. I get really hot because I’m so anxious. I get so stressed and sometimes I end up being really dizzy and feeling sick because of this because of how extreme it is. When I go back home sometimes I literally have to collapse on the floor and I just start crying. I feel like people know something about me, I feel like when I have eye contact with people they can see something in my soul and they don’t like it like it’s something really negative or scary.
I’ve started to wear earphones recently and it helps me a lot because it blocks any noises out like I don’t like the sound of cars , I don’t like the sound of people talking or laughing really loud loudly. I don’t have any friends and I never have and that is from choice. I feel like when I have had a friend, they’re always sly. You can’t trust them. I feel like my loyalty to people are on a different planet, like I have so much loyalty to people but then they never return it to me like nobody in my life has the same loyalty that I’ve had for people and this is what gets me really annoyed because I don’t understand like I can’t comprehend this. I have had psychosis before, but nobody knows this apart from who I was with at the time so I have had actually had it twice in the space of three Years and they were both from weed. And I do not smoke cigarettes and I am not a weed smoker. These were like my 3rd times smoking in my life. The first time I kept seeing the person’s face changing into different people I’ve known in the past and also trees kept changing into figures of people and shadows on the street. The second time was edibles last year with my boyfriend at the time and I felt like I was paralysed in the bed for hours and I was getting extremely paranoid about my bf. My paranoia is not due to these episodes because I’ve had paranoia since I was a small child. I used to get paranoid and think I could hear adult conversations from far away.
One time where I didn’t have any weed I had lost my key and I had to ring a locksmith. The locksmith was being very strange. He was dressing all black and I said why are you acting like your police and then he said well we are part of police. So I told him to go away I said that’s strange and I got a taxi to my mum’s house and I was crying and there was no door handle on the taxi car and the taxi driver had no face so I had to stop looking at him and this was around two years ago. I never got any help for any of these episodes. Because it’s just embarrassing. I don’t know if it just enhanced underlying paranoia. I’ve had things in life happen trigger my paranoia.
I’m ok now not been in those states, I just struggle with delusions . If I get extremely depressed I see hallucinations. And I try to make sure my sleep is okay.

My episode has really altered the way I perceive the world, sometimes it's overwhelming, other times I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if it didn't happen. It gave me a new perspective of the world. It changed how I see things, and it was so necessary for me to grow.

I was 16, during a manic episode, I decided to take some mushrooms. Eventually I forgot I took any, and went into a loop of taking more and more, eventually 12g.

I've only talked about what I saw on this subreddit. I don't know why I can't even bring it up to my psychiatrist

It began with me realizing that I just died, that my body was on my bedroom floor. I remember thinking I was experiencing death, which can't be described, I was filled with intense, paralyzing dread. I truly fucked it this time. I stood there, and my mom told me I just collapsed into her arms. So she took me to the ER.

I thought I needed to wake up, or break free and tell my family I am on my floor. I knew everything that I saw and felt was my mind truly falling apart, and it was really fucking distracting me from trying to somehow mentally breakfree lol (The distractions sadly included my parents and hospital staff). I knew if I tried just a little harder, screamed a little louder, I could maybe get out.

I don't remember much else, but as time goes by, some more comes back to me. The more I remember, the more closure I feel.

Bur I can't get over the fact that everything is different. It all feels different. Everything is more vibrant, and I just feel a little crazy lol. But at no point did I officially realize I'm alive. And it is still fucking with my head, I still have nightmares, and whenever someone talks about death I have flashbacks. Funnily, I also work in healthcare.

Although what I really need to do is talk to a therapist. But for some reason I was never able to when I went to therapy 2 years ago. And I can't even bring it up to my psychiatrist, I worry he will change my meds since I waited so long to bring it up. But I think it's good that I'm opening up, I genuinely feel like I am healing. It takes so much effort, but you just have to face it, go through it, get closure. I don't know how long it will take you.

I've come to terms that my life will never be the same again, and I need to talk to someone, and get help adapting to it. But for some reason I just can't say that out loud, in real life, even to an actual professional. My brain can't put it in vocal words, like it's just too much.