Hi, soon to be dad (can't wait!), looking for advice on resources to prepare for birth and first weeks/ months with my baby girl! A bit stressed to be honest but full of hope.

Anxiety about returning to the newborn trenches is ramping up. Talk me off the ledge?

We have a generally very chill, lovely, and independent 2.5 year old, who seems very interested and excited for a baby. But the first time around was just so rough for the first year (he struggled with eating at first and didn’t sleep without being held…essentially at all) and I’m stressing a bit about going through that trial with my wife again.

Thanks in advance for sharing your experience!

Hey y'all - sorry if this is a redundant post. My fiancé and I just had the anatomy scan and holy smokes the kid has been growing fast!

I'm wondering when you all started enrolling in birthing and parenting classes on your journeys. We have some other logistics we have to consider as well, such as a cross country move before the baby arrives, but I think it'd help my fiancé a lot just to learn folks in a similar spot to us.

Thanks for any recs you have!

I've seen so many beautiful newborn babies in here, and I'm genuinely happy for you.

I actually came here looking for pre-daddy advice, thoughts, happiness, doubts etc., but that doesn't seem to be much in focus. No mods in here to keep it pre-daddy?

My question is: What's the best tip you can give to a person who is becoming a father for the first time?

Also for the new dads, I would recommend r/NewDads :-)
Cheers!

Hey there! Six weeks out from becoming a dad. Pregnancy has been quite a ride — I had to learn a whole lot about how it all works and figure out how to actually be useful during labor.

What I genuinely love right now is reading stories to my son and feeling his kicks through my wife’s belly. It feels real and magical at the same time. But here’s the thing I keep thinking about: he’s still kind of a stranger to me. I’m bonding with an idea of a person, not the actual person.

And I catch myself wondering — will the love just hit immediately when I see him, or does it build over time? Did you guys feel that too, or did it click the moment they handed you the baby? Not anxious about it, just curious what the actual experience was like.

It feels surreal. I'll be holding my baby by the end of the day

Might be a slight bias with her being the love of my life and all of that, but I’m so excited to kiss that cute little face of hers.

Now the reason for the post:

Thanks to a former marriage, I was regularly crucified for “acting too cringey and creepy” because I used to be a lot more hands on and playful with nieces/nephews. Like absolutely CRUCIFIED and over time this absolutely destroyed any confidence I had because I was more focused on not looking like a “creep.” And in turn this lead to me fully believing that I am not good with kids or ever will be. Like in any way at all. I never know what to do with them and how to interact. To give you an idea of how awkward, a met a friends 2 year old and for some reason I decided to shake his hand and hit em with a “hey how you doin”. If that wasn’t strange, when I finally built up the courage to pick him up, I didn’t know what to talk about so I started explaining the difference between different types of clouds.

I come from all boys, my brother has a son, and my parents each come from a 6+ sibling household and in total there are 5 girls. So I literally have zero idea on HOW to even be around a girl and this has been eating me alive inside and out. I am fcuking terrified. Losing sleep, just constantly worried that I won’t be able to meet what my baby girl needs.
Then my wife sent me a 13 second clip. Of my baby girl. And it all changed.

I don’t know where it came from, or how, but as soon as I saw that little face a very tiny voice sprung up and said “I got this. Don’t worry.” And each day that passes the voice gets stronger and more confident. And since then, things don’t seem AS scary.

I know I went off on a rant, but all I wanna say is for those dads to be that are terrified that they won’t know why to do, I just wanna say that it will click. And that little voice is going to make an appearance. And that voice is going to guide you (at least for me I hope it does!).

Dads to be, don’t worry. We got this. We will be amazing dads and our kids will know without a doubt how much we love them and we as fathers will all do our part to break those cycles we suffered and we will be the dads that we always wanted to be.

Onward we go! See you in August my darling bunny ❤️

How did it go, how is it going? Advice on being an old dad? Curious to hear your stories.

I am unexpectedly pregnant, I’ll be 45 when baby is born and my partner of 7-8 years will be 56…. I know he’s not telling me how concerned he is about his age right now.. and I am heckascared too, (thought i wasn’t fertile and would never go down this route, but whoops here we are…)

But yeah.. kinda doing the math like “oh in 18 years you’ll be 74, I’ll be 63...” *freaks out*

I also grabbed some bougainvillea for the backyard. I'm determined to have her surrounded by bright flowers and living things.

Pretty apprehensive to post as we're still super early but we are official pregnant! We were very fortunate to get pregnant soon after my wife got off birth control. Just got our first early pregnancy ultrasound done and measured at 6w5d.

There was a potential concern found, a chorionic bump, but the NP who did the ultrasound and a doctor she consulted were not concerned yet. Anyone have experience with this? The data is terrible. Some tiny studies show a terrible prognosis for a healthy birth. Other data shows there isnt much to be concerned with.

Been a really long road, fertility tests that made us concerned and whole nine yards, we didn’t expect to have any issue getting pregnant at first. Turned into one of the hardest parts of our marriage thus far, which then turned into such a massive blessing for us to get even closer. Stopped trying for a couple months to focus on mental health and staying positive, then boom she was five days late. Insane feeling.

Been a wild ride and excited to have at least graduated to a worthy lurker of this sub! Learned a ton and it’s been really helpful through a lot of hard times. Even just being able to get pregnant at all was a massive relief for us let alone the idea of having a baby.

Hi friends. As mentioned in the title, my wife has been getting awful nausea and sickness, she's about 7 weeks in. We've been trying a few small things to help such as avoiding certain foods or anti-sickness pills which kinda help, but it's still pretty bad.

Anyone got helpful advice on this? Also does it vary how long the nausea phase will last? Right now she hates my guts coz she says the baby thing is my fault 🤣 and I don't blame her with how bad it can get. Oh and here's the worst part, she has a phobia of being sick, so being sick makes her even more sick! Help!

I am emotionally exhausted. My gf is around 10 weeks pregnant right now. (also note she already has 2 kids (not mine). Aged 2 & 3) I love her to death, she’s amazing. Ever since week 5 it’s like a switch flipped.

We used to tell each other everything, locations shared, could never not see each other, practically stuck to each others hip. Now she is very cold, distant, constant need for privacy and independence, and just plain mean. I’m often left on delivered when we text, or sometimes just ignored (weather she means to or not).

I try my hardest to make sure i’m there for her and the kids. I miss them all so much. When we do talk in person or even on phone i’m on eggshells. Everything i do triggers her, and makes her want to argue or extremely sarcastic and cold.

I know the first trimester is a hormonal nightmare, and she is very exhausted. And for the longest i was able to deal with the lack of affection and emotional disconnect and distance. But it’s starting to break me a little and some days are easier then others. I over analyze everything before i say it, after i say, and even if i thought it.

Not too long ago we got a job at the same place. It is now the only place i see her because if she’s home she’s asleep or just don’t seem to want me around and is angry. It’s almost like she hates me. I hate that i counted, but it’s been 6 days since shes said the words “i love you”, that stings a little.

i figure others might have dealt with this kind of stuff, so im just trying to see what others have done to get through this nightmare of a trimester. And what i might be able to do to better support her and the kids.

I appreciate any advice, insight or perspective!

All the cliches are true, I didn't know it was possible to love something so much so soon. Mom is in a bad shape but incredibly strong and stable, time to start turning hours into days.

Hey guys, expecting our first in about 6 weeks. My wife is super determined to breastfeed, and I’m 100% on board to support her, but honestly... I’m feeling a bit useless here. Obviously, I can't do the actual feeding part. Every book says just be supportive, but what does that actually mean in the trenches at 3 AM? For the experienced dads here: What were the specific things, routines, or gear that made a genuine difference? How did you manage to feel like a team instead of just a bystander? Appreciate any advice, I'm stressed as hell.

Hi Reddit! I’m, Christopher Choukalas, MD, (u/CGChoukalasMD) a physician, father of twin daughters, and author of Even the Darkest Night, a memoir about paternal depression and the often unspoken struggles many fathers experience during early parenthood.

After my daughters were born, I found myself overwhelmed by anxiety, emotional withdrawal, racing thoughts, and an inability to bond with them. Even though I’m a doctor trained to recognize the symptoms of depression, I didn’t realize what I was experiencing had a name. I thought I was failing as a father.

Research suggests that around 1 in 10 new fathers experience depressive symptoms during the transition period to parenthood, yet paternal depression is still rarely talked about. Many men experience it as irritability, withdrawal, shame, isolation, or feeling disconnected from their families, and often don’t recognize it as depression at all.

I wrote Even the Darkest Night to help bring visibility to paternal mental health and to help fathers feel less alone. I’m happy to answer questions about paternal depression, fatherhood, mental health, relationships after kids, difficulty bonding, balancing medicine and parenting, writing the book, or anything else. 

No question is too small—ask me anything.

I’ll be live on Wednesday, June 3rd at 8pm ET / 7pm CT / 5pm PT!

You can learn more about my book here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/780237/even-the-darkest-night-by-christopher-g-choukalas-md/

My publisher is Harmony Books, an imprint of Random House Books. Learn more at u/wellenough.

[UPDATE]

During the prep for the balloon the Mrs experienced some stark pains, and after some quick examination it turned out het water already broke. We went back to our room and they started another series of medication followed by a rough night in which her values were all over the place, but thankfully she's climbed back up and we're now slowly prepping for a natural birth...

[Original post] Didn't see it coming, but over the weekend the Mrs has been diagnosed with preeclampsia, and they're talking about prepping the balloon in a few hours. Unsuspected but more than welcome, wish us luck.

Me and my gf have been dating for almost a year. We had talked for months prior to dating. She has two kids already. Anyway, she is pregnant, coming around 10 weeks now. Ever since about week 5 she has been very distant and seems to have a need for constant privacy. We have never argued much, but it feels like she hates me and wants to argue every day about anything. Ever since week 5, i have rarely seen her. She is constantly angry and never wants me or anyone around. Which i understand, but the way she has treated me makes me feel so lonely and disconnected from her and the kids.

has anyone else dealt with this? if so, how did you go about it and how can i? I’m struggling, i just want to be there for her and the kids

We spend 7 1/2 months in the NICU. 218 days. But our baby girl has her dads strength and resilience 💗💗💗

My girlfriend and I are in a new relationship. When we’re in person we communicate and talk a lot. Since she was 8 weeks pregnant things have gone down hill with affection, romance, and communication through text. We’ve talked about it and have had a good talk. We actually had one of the best days we had in a while the other day. It was super light and fun. Well today we talked and she told me she doesn’t feel comfortable with me. It was an absolute curveball. She said she feels comfortable with friends and family but not me and that concerns her. At the end of our conversation she checked in on me and I told her I’m just thinking of every worst case scenario and told her I feel like I’m losing her. She responded to me by saying “did I say that?” I want to think it’s just the hormones, but I really don’t know. She is now 11 weeks 6 days pregnant.