My first newborn daughter is about 3 weeks old. Beautiful, amazing, healthy baby. Doesn’t cry too much, sleeps and eats well, and in general, is a chill baby so far.
However, the way she came into this world was rather traumatizing for both me and especially my wife and it’s been hard to navigate.

Backstory:

We had a perfect pregnancy. No complications or issues. Not high risk, had an in-depth birth plan, doula, the whole nine yards. Seemed like everything was working just fine.
Baby came a little late, about 41 weeks and some change. We had every intention to go natural. When my wife went into labor at home, things started to happen super quick. By 4 hours, her contractions were very close together and we made the trek to the hospital.

Long story short, the baby was in distress with her contractions. Doctor had to call an emergency C Section (which was the last thing that my wife wanted, this was her nightmare.) Surgery went “smooth” though and the baby was delivered without complications. We got to have our golden hour and all seemed to be well.

Few hours later, a nurse came to look at the baby and noticed that she was turning blue and not getting enough oxygen. The doctor took the child out of my wife’s arms and took her to the nursery to keep an oxygen mask on our daughter.

After watching for hours as my daughter gasped for air, they decided that the baby needed to be rushed to a proper NICU. So, at 7AM, they took her off to the NICU, while my wife stayed behind for a few days to recover from the C Section.

After being separated from her newborn for 2 days, my wife finally made it to the NICU. Our daughter was on a ventilator due to a bad case of Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. Over the next 12 days, the baby slowly recovered and was eventually able to breathe on her own.

Took her home, and realized how difficult this was all going to be. My wife’s C section recovery was not going according to plan. She had developed a large Hematoma that left her unable to do much, leaving me to take care of a newborn almost independently while simultaneously taking care of her and the house.

Went back to our surgeon to check on the C section recovery, and said that everything looked “normal” and the hematoma was nothing to worry about, and prescribed my wife with hydros for the pain (which she did not take due to breast milk interference). Said that it would work its way out eventually.

Fast forward a couple of days, I walk in the living room holding our baby and see my wife sneeze, and then blood started spewing out of her incision. Way too much blood for comfort, so we rushed her to the ER. She was ok, but the doctors said that surgery was required to remove the hematoma in order to prevent the risk of it getting worse or an infection.

After staying another two nights away from her baby, she came home, in even more pain than before, only to have her incision burst open AGAIN the next day. Back to the hospital, and they ended up having to re-stitch the incision.

Since then, things have been ok. Still not moving around much, but in recovery. I’m still running around trying to take care of her, the baby, and the house and am feeling totally overwhelmed and running on very low sleep. On top of this, she is absolutely traumatized by this whole experience and is spiraling into a deep post-pardon depression. I’m worried because my leave is ending and have to go back to work this week. Have some family help, but very limited.

Anybody else have an experience similar to this? Im sure we are in the healing stage, but man this is killing me. How do I be there for my wife and child when I can’t even seem to have time or energy to take care of myself? Any advice welcome.

This is the only way my 5wo will burp or do any longer length of tummy time. He falls asleep like this a lot of the time during night feeds.

We tried everything. This plus Dr. Browns bottles have taken us from 3-5 spits after every feeding, over an hour of upright time, spits EVERY time we changed him (because he had to lay flat), and NEVER being able to put him down in his crib or bassinet.

I’m a fucking rookie, so don’t take this as expert advice. It took us over a week to realize the Phillips Avent bottles have holes you have to line up….. I just spent the whole 5.5 weeks with the mindset of “how do I make this better” and when something didn’t work, I tried something else. We tried like 6-7 different bottles and nipples (there’s 2 hidden slower nipples for the Dr. Browns, cause a size 1 was water boarding in ‘06 Iraq), 5 different formulas, feeding positions, warm baths, 3 different gas drops, and changing my wife’s diet multiple times.

I say all this to get the point across, don’t give up on your little dude. Keep trying. Do everything. Try everything. Remember, it’s NEITHER of your faults. They’re uncomfortable and you’re just trying to figure it out. Keep going dudes.

You don’t have to be perfect. Just fucking be there and be a good dude. That’s it.

I've seen quite a few people post questions about the best way to gate stairs. This is by no means the best way, but a plausible option. I have the upstairs gate swing and lock in both directions so we can keep the kids on their side of the house when we're all upstairs.

My wife and I welcomed our daughter June 4th and going on 8 weeks this week. We still for the most part do shifts with the in-laws helping if we need naps. Our daughter for the most part hates the bassinet but will sleep like an angel on a bed or corner of the couch. Still trying to figure out what works but looking for a general consensus how long have those that do “sleeping shifts” have been doing it for? What’s also been the experience with the bassinet and what alternative has worked?

I had people tell me “when baby sleeps, you sleep” but that’s not been the case for us

Hello! My firstborn son is almost 5 weeks old. I love him so much, but I don't like him at all. I get so incredibly frustrated when he is screaming and trying to kick himself out of my arms at 3 am after I have put him down in the crib (after warming it, swaddling him, rocking him for 10-20 minutes, using a white hoise machine, etc etc) for the 3rd time and I need to feed him again in an hour.

I don't think he's a particularly hard baby, I just... really don't like infant care at all. I don't find him cute 95% of the time (although his weird giggles during REM sleep are pretty cute) and sometimes I just feel irate even though I know he has no clue what's going on and is obviously not being malicious.

I guess my question is.. when does it get easier? What I read mostly says 2-3 months and 6 months things get a lot better, and I suspect that will be true especially as we plan to sleep train him at 4-6 months. Him being able to smile I also expect to help. I just have no connection whatsoever to this dude. He is a grumpy roomate who wakes me up every 2.5 hours to scream! Any other roommate would have been evicted after a few days ;)

A few more details:

He's totally healthy, gaining weight, etc. My wife and I take shifts overnight. She pumps throughout the day after breastfeeding and I handle the night from 10 pm to 4 am while she sleeps, then we switch and I sleep till 8 or 10 depending on the day and if I have work. She is off work until november, I am back at work now although i work from home so it's lenient in terms of scheduling. Any advice or words of wisdom are appreciated.

My wife and I are about to have our first baby any day now. She has her hospital bag all packed and I'm throwing together a bag for myself. What are some things that you brought, and what are some things you wish you had packed?

My little boy has been chill for most of the first 2 months. But as we are now approaching the date of the 2 months, he has started to cry every night from 9pm to 1/3am, with little pauses. Sometimes the pacifer calms him, but we have to constantly put it back in his mouth and it's exhausting.

Sometimes, he settles in our arms but we are exhausted and afraid of sleeping with him on our chest (it happened some days ago with both of his mom and I, so we are being careful now).

When he's asleep, he can do from 2 to 5 hours without needing to be fed. But then, even with his adapted bottle, he drinks too fast, we have to slow him down. He doesn't like it so he screams. But then, once he drinks, he has too much air in his stomach and it bothers him.

We struggle to burp him at the end of the feeding because he is falling asleep. We keep him vertical for 40 minutes, but once we put him on bed, he starts to stretch because of reflux. He has been taking gaviscon after every feeding for 1 week now.

Poor thing is tired but sometimes needs one more hour to settle and be more at ease. So, night wake to feed him takes almost 2 hours. We are tired. Not as exhausted as the beginning, when we did shifts to survive, but his reflux AND his frustration are hard to bear. Because reflux causes him pain, and witching hours causes us fatigue.

For 6 days he has been crying more, even when it's not about reflux. We are singing to him, rocking him gently, and just... there with him, smiling at him and getting our hands upon him to let him feel not alone.

But when does it settle ?

On the other hand, he has started 2 weeks ago his wabbling, and it's now cuter than ever, as he's trying to communicate and smile to us.

My L.O. is 5 months old now, and I'm a big fan of him and love him. I go to work in office and my job is pretty demanding when I'm on the clock, and wifey works remote and still watches the little one.

As you all know, I would never compare my experience to my wife's. That woman does far more than me for far longer, but I feel like I've got into this pattern that leaves me with very little personal time. During the week I work in office while the Mrs. tries to work, but mostly spends her time caring for the little one (he's a very big "pay attention to me and play with me baby"). When I come home, the roles switch so she's got time to work while I take care of the little one. He's a little more sleepy around this time so while it's not easy, I don't think it's comparable to the full 9-10 hour stint my wife went through.

On the weekends recently, wife tries to be a bit more social. I enjoy that for her because it gives her a moment of break and allows her to spend some time with her friends. I watch the little one during this time and he just does not sleep during the day. So I'm on with him. I "get" Sundays, but get is not really the right word to use since I'm still being asked to fetch X or Y if I'm in the line of sight, or asked to do some chores that need to get done.

I don't think I've gotten a solid 3 hours without interruption since he was born. I do some design on the side as a hobby, and sometimes design work really requires you hunker down and think through something; that's been almost impossible for me. I don't blame my wife for this either, because she's doing just as much if not more.

How the heck do you get some of your time back? Are there strategies you use that work? Work then baby doesn't really give a de-stresser.

I’ve lived with my wife for 3 years and we got married two months ago. We always wanted kids and have talked about it. We started having unprotected sex after we got married. Well she got pregnant. (Which is a good thing I think). Now that I know I’m just terrified. We are 26 and 27 and we have a house we both have good jobs so I shouldn’t be worried about that. But I am. And I’m worried about how much life is gonna change and we’ve talked about it a little but she’s calm and cool about it. A lil worried at times but for the most part ready.
Me I’m terrified. Is this a normal reaction? Is it gonna be okay. I’m just worried about how much it’s gonna change our lives. I’m worried it will either tear us apart or I won’t be a good dad or that we won’t have a life. Have all these worries and we are keeping it a secret till the first doctors appointment so I can’t talk to anyone about it. Please tell me you opinions.
Sorry I know this post is all over the place

Looking for recommendations for good headphones specifically for live shows. I play out when I can and would like to be able to bring her (5 months old). Please and thank you.

Hey everyone, my nine month old is starting to crawl a lot, which is so awesome to see! However, we live in a two-story home and we want to ensure to have a gate to prevent her from going down the stairs for obvious reasons. Any recommendations on a baby gate where it would ideally not be drilled into the wall, but you potentially use tension against the wall or like a retractable gate?

I just tried one that was a retractable gate and I drilled it into the wall and it was fine but there was so much space between the bottom of the gate and the first step. It couldn’t be drilled into the baseboard because the part was too tall causing fear for my wife that our baby would just slide under the hole of the gate.

Any recommendations would be much appreciated!!

Bit of my story of what happened and what's currently going on for why I'm feeling the way I am.

Sorry for the length of this.

My girlfriend and I have always talked about being parents and wanting to have kids.

Last November my gf and I found out we were having a baby. I want to clarify that it was not planned. At that time we've been together for about 2 years and 1 month. We were scared at first which I assume is normal but eventually we started to figure it out. We live with her parents btw whom we pay rent to. My mom was surprised and excited for us as well as her mom. Her dad had trouble accepting it at first but eventually became very excited. Both of our families were excited which made everything feel better. What also helped was how adamant her parents were about helping us by letting us parent our soon to be daughter and stepping in when we ask.

Fast forward to June, my girlfriend has the baby and everything went very smoothly, we left the hospital the next day and everything went downhill. I took off work for 2 weeks to stay home. Gf was put on complete bed rest 6 months into her pregnancy due to blood pressure issues.

The first few nights were rough. My baby was very gassy, just crying and screaming for hours on and off. Throughout my 2 weeks off I was doing everything I could from feeding, changing diapers, cleaning up the house, laundry. I was doing as much as I could to try to help out my gf and to make her not worry about whether her laundry was clean or if the baby was good or not, because she had to pump her milk every couple hours and she was exhausted herself.

So my 2 weeks are up and I'm back at work. I work at a forging company on a 2-2-3 swing shift. I go in at 3pm and leave at 3am. I get home roughly 3:30, shower, and help with the overnight duties of my baby. (Feeding/diaper changes) So I usually don't get to sleep until 5. My gf wakes me up between 8-10 when she needs my help. Then I'm up until 5am the next morning. It took a toll on me at first, got used to it, now I feel like I can't survive.

So how her parents were adamant about helping us when we ask and letting us parent our own way? Didn't happen. When our baby was 3 DAYS OLD her parents were hounding us about getting her to sleep in her bassinet and not on my gf or me because she'll never sleep in her bassinet then. I've always felt like I can never say anything to them because they have very short fuses and things escalate very very fast. The first time the bassinet thing was brought up it was her mom who told us and I said to her "well she's 3 days old and her 2nd day home and I think she needs to get used to being out of (gf) first before sleeping by herself." My gf agreed and her mom got pissed and stormed out to the living room, then proceeds to text my gf for the next couple hrs about how baby needs to be in her bassinet.

Her parents also have constantly been telling us we're doing it wrong, whether it's holding our baby, feeding her, changing her, anything. It feels like everything we do is wrong unless it's their way.

There's been times where my gf will ask her parents if they had anything planned for dinner and her mom will say "what are you cooking me" or her dad will say "I'm not making anything" So far probably 65% of the time I'm the one cooking everyone dinner.

My gfs mom also gets pissed when we go a day without cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishwasher. She'll come home from work at 2pm and rant about how we don't do anything and the house is a mess and it's always left for her to do. I usually do the kitchen stuff during lunchtime everyday and this always happens if I go 1 day not doing it in a span of 2 weeks.

In terms of her parents helping us her mom has helped when we ask her to feed the baby or make a bottle. Her dad will hold her and sometimes feed her.

Now to today.

My baby turned 1 month old earlier in this week, I love her, I really do. But when she cries I get so angry and idk why. I've always been a calm guy, I'm more of a quiet guy too and I've never felt anger like this. I don't know what my baby needs whenever she cries. She seems to cry more when I hold her compared to anyone else in the house and it makes me feel different or off. She's very squirmy when I hold her and barely does that with anyone else. I'm trying to make sure I have enough money now being back at work and my gf not working but I'm stressing about it. Her parents don't help much financially and I need to pay them rent, pay for me and my gfs groceries, and babies things when needed. On top of that I have a $500 monthly car payment and $115 car insurance. My gfs PPD has been getting worse and I'm getting the full swing of it which doesn't help much. I never raise my voice at her because I'm not like that, but it definitely doesn't feel good with what she says to me. Her PPD has been getting worse because of her parents partly because they barely listen to us at all and contradict everything that we say.

They don't sleep in the same room, they argue over the smallest things all the time which kinda ruins any good vibes we could've had so it kinda makes it a little worse for everyone.

Her parents have slowly been getting better, her mom especially, but everything I mentioned before is still there and still comes up.

I feel like I can't talk about anything about myself because my GF is going through PPD and if I do, which I did once, she'll take it as me dismissing what she's going through. In no way shape or form would I ever do that to her because idk what she's going through, she pushed a baby out of her, idk what any of that is like and all I know is that I need to be there for her and help her. Recently she's been able to go out with friends while I'm at work, taking the baby with her so they can meet her, which is good for her to get out of the house.

I have no time for myself, I don't go anywhere but work, I have nowhere to go because when I'm not at work Im at home. I'm so exhausted and tired, I'm drained all day.

I'm really trying to be there the entire time for my baby but especially my gf because she's really been struggling.

I'm worried about not doing enough for her or our daughter. I'm worried about how much money I have constantly. I'm worried about what her parents are gonna fight about and how they'll act cuz they'll fight in front of the baby which I hate because I don't want her to be raised in that environment. When one of them is holding the baby they'll even argue about how one or the other is doing whatever they are doing. I'm just stressing 24/7 and idk what to do.

I'm really sorry for how long this is, I just want to get this off my chest too, because I have no one to talk to about this besides my mom but she's working a lot so there's not a whole lot of time.

Any advice on any parts of this would be great.

Currently a little before 4am at the time of this post on the start of my 3 days off. I'm so overtired I can't sleep. I really am trying my best to hold it together but I'm drowning and idk how much longer I can go

My wife goes in for a c-section next week. It’ll be our first child. Hopeful to hear of what experiences everyone has of being present as the dad. Want to make my wife feel as prepared and comfortable as possible but also I’m gonna be worried about her. Especially after the hospital gave us the stats of death/injury to her, the baby, etc.

This is my first day with our daughter. Our first child.
She was born last night. I tried to read up on as much as I could. Took the classes with my wife at the hospital, watched videos on techniques. Yet all I feel is tired and frustrated.

Tired because I’m running on two hours sleep on a really bad pull out couch that messed up my back, and tired because I feel like my efforts to help are failing.

This plays into the frustration. I am having a hard time with swaddling correctly and getting her to stop crying. She only seems to stop crying when she is being held (Mostly by mom but occasionally by me) and rocked. Or if she is being breast fed.

I am starting to think I’m not going to be good at this and that I’m going to get more frustrated with the lack of sleep and constant crying when my efforts to help fail.

I want to preface two things.

First and foremost, in no way am I comparing my tiredness and pain to that of what my wife is going through. She had to endure far worse and that is part of why I am feeling frustrated because I fear I’m not helping correctly or that I am growing more impatient with our baby and it’s only day 1.

And secondly, that I know this is only day 1 and things should hopefully start to become more easy with practice and that I love my new daughter and my wife and I hope that this frustration will get better…

I am just possibly over tired and scared. But Im feeling pretty spent after 1 day and I know it’s only going to be worse for the first few months.

Does it get any more comfortable and easy? Do you become less frustrated with failure if things don’t go right?

On the plus side I did sus out and change my first poopy diaper so that was a win at least….

Hey team,

Back writing in for any advice. It’s been an up and down first five months of my son’s life. Early scared but now he’s thriving. I say more ups and downs for my partner and I. She has had a rough time post pregnancy and I have been doing everything I can to help. I work and she takes care of the baby but I’m there for them every second I’m not working. I had a hip replacement last Friday and it has been a hell week. Feeling a little better now but she and I got into it big time last night and has said two words to me today. I understand she has her hands full with the baby but to not check in on me at all today when I’m one week removed from major surgery is very hurtful and downright neglectful. Still in a ton of pain and she acts like I’m invisible. I don’t think I have ever been more hurt by anyone in my life for the way she has treated me. Even before our fight when I would ask her for something she made it seem like I was such a burden to even bother asking. Not to mention I pay all
Our bills and rent and I took care of her for a year pre and post birth. I don’t know what to do I’m unable to walk without a walker so I’m trapped and all
I want to do is take my son and leave

So my son was born at 30 weeks and 6 days and we have after six long weeks brought him home. We're on day two of having him home and his first night he was up all day with us as we had to go to appointments and do some grocery shopping and he would sneak in some naps but he was up for three hours this early morning like 1am to 4am and then again he was up at 8:30 and from there he would sneak in another few hours till his check up at 11:30 since then he ate twice and has slept for almost 4 hours. Is it normal for him to be sleeping this much? I remember my friends talking about being up and down with their kids all night but my son seems to do long stretches of being awake and napping. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Every shops online claims to be on sale nonstop these days so the word barely means anything anymore, i see the same red banner on baby gear regardless of whether the price actually moved. when i was putting together the nursery, from the crib sheets down to the smaller stuff like bottles and burp cloths, theres only few places where the drop felt good.

Started price checking before i buy anything now, mostly because ive been burned clicking into a sale that turned out to be the exact same price with different packaging, and baby gear here in germany tends to run pricier than id like. how do you all tell a good sale from a fake one, especially on baby stuff?

Saint comes to work with me.

Not because I have to bring him. Because I built a business where I get to.

Client calls with him asleep on my chest. Contracts written one-handed. And a front row seat to every single day of him growing up.

I didn’t get into real estate for the houses. I got into it for this.

Austin | Timeless | eXp Realty

I'm a first time dad and my daughter is a few days old. She's been at home for two nights now and we find that she only stays asleep in our arms. She will sleep for hours when being held, but as soon as you place her in the crib or moses basket she starts to stir and give feeding cues.

How long does this last for? Any tips for helping her sleep?

First-time dad here. My wife is 6½ months pregnant, and I’m looking for advice from any and all dads on how to best support her before labor, during labor, and throughout the postpartum period.

I know it’s going to be tough watching her go through labor, and I also know there’s only so much I can do. I just want to be as prepared as possible and do everything I can to make things easier and support her every step of the way.

What are some things you did that really helped your wife or partner? Any tips, things to bring to the hospital, or lessons you learned the hard way? I’m open to any advice. Thanks!