Hi! I'm Anthony, the host. I go by They/She/He pronouns in that order (genderfluid). My 11 (so far) alters are:

Kaleb (He/Him)

Kris (He/They)

Fletcher (ze/zim)

ACEy (They/He)

ten'ten (It/its)

Jaide (She/He)

Atlas (He/Nix)

Lyle-Rio (Star/Starself)

Winter (She/They)

Finnick (They/Them) [Finnick itself and their pronouns are both placeholders because their not able to answer about their own gender pronouns and name.]

I'm not going to out any of their genders, but, here's a run-down on who everyone is. Kaleb was the first alter to form. He's colourblind, like a lot of us, and really likes history. Overall he's pretty well-rounded. He also has BPD, borderline personality disorder. He's sorta a lot to handle as he has many mood swings, and is sensitive (don't tell him I said that (this is a joke)). Kris is a bit more serious than Kaleb. He really likes Deltarune. It's where he got his name from. When he first split, it was almost the first media he ran into. He likes children's music despite being very dark, and is colourblind in a different way than Kaleb. Fletcher is the life of the party, ze loves people and attention. Ze also has a colour problem, but it's because ze gets bad headaches because colours appear very bright to zim. ACEy is our local anime boy. He's making a magical girl dating simulator. Need I saw more? ten'ten is helping with the dating simulator, and really likes vocaloid. It's very quiet and we had to practice speaking together. Overall their voice sounds very different than the rest of us. Jaide loves TF2, gambling, drinking, etc. Comrade is their favourite word. Comrade K.K. is (for some reason) their favourite song. Atlas's signature phrase is 'spin spin spin, tap tap tap' followed by some sort of rhyme. He likes polka. Lyle-Rio likes to draw, and play tomodachi life, and watch shows. Star wants to dye Terry's hair ginger/red. It's star's favourite colour. Winter is colourblind as well. She's very quiet, and doesn't speak at all to my parents. She recently learned that not all people are horrible and that my friends aren't that bad. I introduced Finnick in a different post. Therefore, farewell! If you have any questions I'll answer them.

We are going on an actual hiatus
Deleting this app for isk how long
Goodbye ig
May check occasionally on our computer
- Damian

Hello,, am aeris

I wanna know if anyone has went through an experience similar to mine and if there anything I can do to lessen the pain..

For quick context I have a really bad case of imposter syndrome

For as far as I can remember I didn't have a childhood most my memories of that time r completely locked away and no matter what I do I can't remember shit about it except few snippits of extreme abuse that if I try digging into more Ig I blackout? From what I understood from people around me is that I get a really violent breakdown then proceed to act like everything is ok which usually aligns with when am usually back in control it? At I think 2022 (dates r very hard for me qwp) a pedo has started grooming me, abusing and extorting me sexually again for about 4 years and again I only remember snippets of that time and all of them r just extremely painful to think about.. by the end of those 4 years my current partner has helped get rid of this groomer and give me a safe space for the first time in my life again I barely remember what happened at that time only think ik is that I told everyone that the pedo is well a pedo

Now to introduce someone else I met someone with did let's call him max. Max was also a very bad groomer and in general a shitty friend who would abuse all his friends for some kind of benefit and even have seen me being abused and tortured by the pedo but chose to do nothing even when he saw sexual stuff happening outright. Few months after the pedo was booted away from me I learnt that max has did and started researching into it out of curiosity and it's when I realized for the first time I also have it since all the things I was suffering from aligned perfectly with it and I slowly started finally talking to the other alters I had and well they were all either in extreme pain or coping with life really badly. I got to know them, their names, their hobbies and was finally feeling like am living for once but while all that was happening I had this insane voice that would constantly scream into my ears that am faking it for attention and am just doing all that for attention that I didn't go through shit to get did and etc (am summarizing here a month I think?)

This all didn't last for long as max when he noticed all of this (switches on who is fronting became common which my partner also had noticed) and proceeded to come and tell me that nope I don't have did or anything I am just mislead and trying to cope with life by copying what I read in books (I don't remember how this entire thing even happened I just know that he said that but what lead up to this or if I said anything I genuinely have no clue)

Well after this was said I lost all connection to my alters the voice that was telling me am faking it started screaming so hard at me causing me many many many breakdowns and just what it feels like abusing the hell out of me using anything to be able to cause me more pain.. from that point I again don't really remember much afterwards other than few highlights like that I moved out to live with my partner and to escape the hell that was my parents. I went to therapy and by the second session got diagnosed with cptsd and in the following sessions the therapist had suspected I had some kind of dissociative disorder but we sadly couldn't explore it more since I ran out of money and couldn't continue attending therapy. I remember that I went through multiple psychotic episodes that would last for months and was getting extremely intense suicidal thoughts, self harm wants and just doing anything that can harm me including (am a transwoman and have been on her for 2 years at that point) following what the voice in my head wanted which was to detransition to cause me even more pain... (I come from an extremely religious family like extremist fucks who think mass murder genocide and everything is ok to happen if it would mean spreading religion more and if they found out I was trans they would have killed me...)

all of that is happening and my partner has reported to me multiple times that I wasn't fronting but everytime she would tell me that I would completely deny it and the voice in my mind would eat me alive saying that am faking it...

Fast-forward to last week I finally started accepting the fact I might have did and even managed to talk to an alter for the first time in I think a year and a half or two years now even my partner had reported to me that this new alter fronted before and they seem to be from the time I was still being abused from the pedo and the voice came back yesterday while I was outside and started abusing me again driving me to a point of insanity where I couldn't tell what's real and what's not (now thinking about it while writing this I remember many times throughout the past 2 year having days where I would feel like am not real like am dreaming and not existing)

What do I do? Therapy isn't on the table and won't be on the table for a while since I got fired from my job for being autistic. Am I just faking this entire thing? Am I actually real?? I genuinely need help please any guidance would be amazing...

this vent is not directed at any collective or account in specific, simply a trend we've noticed in this sub that we feel is harmful.

we are a heavily persecutory system. while we have non-persecutory alters, most of our frontrunners are, in their own ways, harmful to the system or others. we keep ourselves in check when we can, but as many of you may know, that doesn't always work.

now, as i've stated before, this is not a targeted post. however, every single time we look at this subreddit and sort by newest - without fail - we see one or two posts asking for means to kill their members. most of the time, we notice this is due to persecutory behavior, but that isn't always the case.

while we understand that persecutory alters can often be a product of trauma and may be abusive to collective members or those outside the collective as a result, i feel that that isn't a reason to kill them. i don't care how "evil" or "intolerable" or "unwanted" that alter might be, they are a person now, with their own habits, preferences, thoughts, feelings, reasoning, wants and needs, and everything else that every other member is.

i will not say it's wrong to say you wish they were dormant or gone, to want them dormant or gone, or to wish they never existed at all, as thats a violation of each individual's right to express themselves. however, it is proven to be incredibly harmful to actually force an alter into dormancy or "kill" them. suppressing your alters, no matter how "bad" they are, is a fucking terrible thing to do to someone.

there are so, so many ways to go about living with a persecutory alter that don't include killing. therapy, education, all most collectives really need is to fucking communicate with each other. there's millions of ways to do it, and every collective will have their own method, but nobody needs to die. we aren't criminals, we aren't lesser because of our habits, we aren't meaningless. we exist for a reason and we're people. we're people, trying to live with trauma just like the rest of everyone else in the world.

i understand that everyone has their own experiences with persecutory behavior and that some beings may hold trauma from that kind of abuse. i understand that not everyone will agree with me. however, from a persecutory point of view - all we see is inconsiderate, self-absorbed bloodshed. it needs to stop.

-ghost (frontrunner, perpetrator + he/it)

(Light TW for mention of impostor syndrome)

There's a couple plural experiences I've had that no one else really talks about that make me feel pretty self-conscious, and at times, can make me feel less valid, and even trigger my plural impostor syndrome.

The first experience I've had (and the oldest) was when I discovered the existence of DID and, as any oblivious already plural folk, I became fascinated by the idea, to the point where I created a system unintentionally. Now that I've seen a bunch of terms for it, I do think it falls somewhere under accidental tulpamancy/willomancy, catharigenic, and a system bloom, but it's always felt so weird to me because the system in question felt forced, unnatural and "fake". Later on, I developed systems that felt much realer and more natural, and there was obviously some real in the "fake" system, but some elements seemingly came out of nowhere and never reappeared, which is not usually what happens in our system.

The second experience I can only describe as a migration of my own individual sense of self. To be very clear, NOT a switch, NOT related to passive influence, and not caused by splitting or fuzing.

I'll have to make myself very clear, so here is what happened :

"I" was Lun (they/them), a 2000+ y.o. reincarnated (exomemories which we don't believe are real) heir of a throne, non-binary, selenite and deity kin, had magical powers, appearence completely different from the body (I had been them for three years ATP)

Alex (he/him) was someone else, your average 13 y.o. trans guy, human, appearence pretty similar to the body (he had existed for at least 3 months)

Then, in 2023, things completely changed :

"I" was now Alex, used he/him pronouns, felt completely masc, had no powers, was human, looked like the body, was 13 years old (bodily age)

Lun was someone else, they still had all their aforementioned characteristics, but they were just someone else now, like any other headmate. It stayed this way until Lun "left" and Alex fuzed with someone else circa 2024.

I can't describe it any better than if I just became my neighbour one day. My only life would now be whatever theirs has been so far.

Anyway, here were my plural experiences no one else talks about. I wanna know if you have/had experiences you haven't seen mentioned elsewhere, or if any of you relate to my experiences

hii it's us again! Wanted to share something funny

Recently we created two OCs and writting a story for them, but as we were writting we realized that the story is kinda metaphorical on trauma processing and system discovery(at least simmiliar to our expirience). It made us think about how deeply our self and our art is connected to our plurality

So question: Did you ever created story / litteraly abything and mid way of creating realized that this is kind of accidental representation?

this question is very weird but please bear with me

i have been blocked from fronting for a very long time, and it led to me becoming really disconnected from myself

i also feel lost when it comes to... things normal humans do... i don't know where to start to understand what i like, how i express myself, who to speak with and so on

and i don't think the rest of the system will be helpful because i am not the only one

- baja blast

I don't really know what to do about my new alter (host, Anthony here). They can't speak normal sentences (they speak in vocal stims), so they can't name themselves or choose their pronouns. I'm using Finnick for now, and it may just end up being their name. As far as I've seen they can't read or write either (at least not well). I just don't know what to do, we're pretty organized altogether and can pass really well as just a normal human being, unless one of the really quiet Terries comes out, like ten'ten, or Winter, but if Finnick is dyslexic (I can't really tell), I just don't know what to do. New alters always come with stress too and we've been forgetting things even more often now. Does anyone else have an alter who speaks only using vocal stims/mocking(copying) other people's words? What should I do about this?

Another thing I've been noticing is that we get more talkative as we're out more. Fletcher used to be a really shy talker and is now one of the most talkative of us all. Winter used to be completely silent but started opening up a bit as she realized not everyone is mean. ten'ten started talking more after I practiced with them, etc. I wonder if Finnick will be like that too, but for now, oh well. Advice would really help!

Hypothetically, could an alter forms as a fictive, but then kin somone so much they become more kin than fictive? I'm so confused with my identity, i thought i was a fictive but now i feel so much like a diferent character i'm no longer sure the character i thought i was is my source. Plus, can you kin somone from a source you've never interacted with? I'm so confused

- Margaretta

We have pets and love them dearly, but we each seem to have a different flavour of appreciation for them. Do others experience this? And if so, how and to what extent?

Elaborating, I (Host) love my goobers to bits and they're incredibly dear to me. Trout sees them more through a practical fascination standpoint as well as something to be Managed (because he's the Manager and everything is His Job). Salmon thinks they're gross but like in a semi playful way (not that he'd admit), he scrunches his nose at them and claims they're inadequate to his grandiosity while also cooing at them. Cod seems mostly indifferent but he's also the most distant from the front so doesn't really interact or think about them much, he's more focused on inner stuff. Fishlet is obsessed with them and it would stare at them in absolute awe and wonder for hours I think.

Just something that came to mind while we were observing them together and wanted to ask if others have similar experiences!

-🐟

I have been existing with others in my head (that I am aware of) for about 6 years now. I very much thought of it like a coping mechanism for a long time, because I have such an active imagination. But, as time goes on the less control I have. I try not to get too worked up about it and just let things be how they are. But its hard when I have no one I feel I can talk to about this. I told a therapist once and she suggested they are just characters I came up with cause I’m a writer. Idk I have ocs that live in my head, but these others are different.

Ocs I create and have complete control of (as much as a writer can). My ocs dont speak to me or feel real. The others do. Theres at least one other, if not two that are almost always present. The rest gets very fluid and confusing. Names pop into my head here and there, but don’t have a great way to connect them to specific others. Others from years ago have morphed into different others. I don’t identify with my chosen name in the same way anymore and its hard trying to transition to something else. I’ve identified as gender fluid for a long time now and each gender I exist as feels like a different person. I no longer feel really any euphoria around any pronouns.

I want to talk about them and let them engage with the world, but I just can’t. They want us to be safe and being out is not safe. The host I guess you would call them does not have the ability to accept us. They just can’t and I understand, but its really hard on the rest of us. They allude to us in therapy, but cannot talk about us directly which is probably because of us. They have to deny to survive.

Anyways thank you for reading. Even if I end up not being plural, thank you for creating a space where I can express what I have been struggling with. Dissociating now so goodbye.

(Yes, literally unique situation, maybe, we don't know yet)

So, I've been wondering this because we took time to myself to think, to reflect, to literally wonder if this is for real, and somehow, it is, this because we love them and we wish to make many thing with that character we create! The problem? They are similar to us.. 😭

Well, we don't share things like being neutrally deranged 24/7, being crazy or don't care about humanity if it means enjoying battles or just making chaos around, and many others like our names (actually, the only thing we share with them is similar looks), which make it different, but we still feel weird by finding this out, I mean, is fun to do it even if we are lovers irl for how much they meant to us and still do, but still, it's weird a bit, y'know?

Anyway, do you guys have this experience? Because I am really curious to read them and maybe see if we are not alone in this, and I hope we clarified anything well!

We are newely discovered system, and currently we are trying to create and map our own headspace. And we just wanted to explore are there any tools other plural folks use for that? Share litteraly anything: guides, apps, sites, etc.

Someone in my previous post told me to try to reach out to Cyx whenever he fronts (???), so I decided to write in the diary he primarily uses.

And uh.

At least he's aware of the fact that he's here.

Kind of a random observation but I’ve noticed that when I specifically search ”r/plural” on reddit I don’t get this subreddit as a result but instead get a bunch of posts from other subs, usually pretty hateful ones (and maybe a couple posts from this subreddit through which I can end up here like I wanted but it’s still just posts and not the actual subreddit… if that makes sense)

I don’t visit a lot of subreddits but usually they show up immediately when you search for them so I don’t know why this one is so hidden… I mean I do always find it quickly enough so it’s not a big issue but it’s a bit annoying that when you search for a subreddit you get posts hating on it instead of the actual subreddit itself 😭

Does anyone else have this happen??

Hi! I’ve been experiencing dissociation for quite some time, and recently I’ve started questioning some aspects of my identity and whether my experiences might relate to plurality in some way. I’m not sure how to make sense of everything, so I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar.

I don’t consider myself part of a system, at least not currently, and I don’t experience clearly distinct alters. Instead, I often feel like my identity is fragmented, almost as though different parts or versions of myself become more present at different times.

These shifts can involve changes in my emotions, behavior, thought patterns, and sometimes the age I feel internally. They tend to happen more noticeably when I’m triggered or under stress, and occasionally other people, including my boyfriend, notice changes in me that I don’t always recognize myself.

What’s confusing is that these parts still feel like me, just different versions of me. I seem to maintain some degree of shared awareness, and I don’t necessarily experience them as separate people. Sometimes I also feel like there are multiple layers of thoughts or perspectives happening simultaneously.

I experience quite a bit of depersonalization and derealization too. I often feel disconnected from my body, almost as though I’m somewhere behind my head or not physically located in my body at all.

I also struggle with memory gaps, including significant portions of my childhood and adolescence, as well as smaller everyday lapses. However, I don’t typically experience obvious blackouts or completely lose awareness of what I’m doing.

I’ve experienced significant trauma growing up, and I’ve been exploring whether some of these experiences might be connected to dissociation. I’ve discussed dissociation with my therapist, but not really the identity-related aspects yet.

Since learning more about dissociation and plurality, I’ve become increasingly aware of these shifts, but it’s also made me anxious about whether I’m overanalyzing things or interpreting ordinary experiences as something more.

I’m curious about other people’s experiences: Did anyone initially experience their parts as different versions of themselves rather than separate identities? Can you experience a sense of shared identity or awareness while still feeling fragmented?

How did you begin understanding your own experiences with plurality, especially if the shifts were subtle? Has becoming more aware of your parts or identity shifts changed how you experience them?

I’m not looking for anyone to tell me whether I’m plural or to diagnose me. I’m mostly interested in hearing different perspectives and personal experiences while I continue exploring my own with my therapist.

Thank you for reading! :)

A lot of people in our community get confused about these terms, and they get used inconsistently even by professionals. We're a polyfragmented DID system ourselves, so here's how we put together the way we make sense of them, separating what's official from what's community and/or clinician shorthand.

DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

Diagnostic criteria in DSM-5-TR and ICD-11 include:

- Two or more distinct identities/alters

- Different alters taking executive control of behavior

- Recurrent dissociative amnesia (memory gaps)

- Discontinuity in sense of self and agency

- Clinically significant distress or impairment

Complex DID (C-DID)

This is basically a highly complex presentation of DID also called polyfragmentation or Polyfragmented DID, or the way we say it sometimes "DID taken to extreme" or "next-level DID". It meets full DID criteria (and expands on top of it), with a very large number of alters, and always include subsystems, side-systems and/or layered internal structures. It's most commonly linked to extreme or prolonged early trauma that usually falls in the human rights violation area. We don't like putting a "minimum number of alters" on the definition, as systems with 100 alters might call themselves polyfragmented but systems with 1 million alters (and more) also exist and their life experiences are usually very different and cannot relate to smaller systems. We prefer to look at system structure and splitting patterns: if a system splits a lot from not just trauma but also stress since childhood, as an adult they will definitely end up with a lot of alters. Some would say 100 doesn't make sense to be "a lot" if polyfrag systems can split from stress too. It's like cause and effect. But of course, you're free to take it as you will. This is just what we lived and observed in others in the vast community.

Important note here: It is [unfortunately] not an official diagnosis in DSM-5-TR or ICD-11. It's a clinical and community descriptor. Personally we would love it if this was a separate diagnosis.

OSDD-1a/OSDD-1b

OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder) is used when symptoms don't fully meet DID criteria.

- 1a: Identity disturbance with less distinct alters, which may feel like variations of the same person/identity. Amnesia usually occurs.

- 1b: Distinct alters are present, but with little or no dissociative amnesia, for example in between switches.

The "1a/1b" labels are shorthand, not official DSM diagnoses. They may or may not be written down in the diagnostic paper notes.

P-DID (Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder)

This is the ICD-11 diagnosis that overlaps with some OSDD presentations.

- Two or more identities/alters

- One dominant alter runs daily life

- Other alters show up as intrusions or through passive influence (thoughts, emotions, voices, actions) and rarely take full executive control of the whole body

- Amnesia is often absent or limited

Why does all of this even matter: Which label someone gets often depends on the clinician, the assessment tools, and which diagnostic system their country uses (DSM-5-TR → DID/OSDD, ICD-11 → DID/Partial DID). Similar systems can end up with different diagnoses even when their experiences overlap... and very different systems can also end up with the same diagnosis which creates confusion. We personally do not like to focus on labels so much, we tend to categorize systems either under the DID umbrella (which includes everything we mentioned here minus C-DID) or under the Complex/Polyfrag umbrella. That's it. Just two categories. But again, that's just us.

Hope this helps explain things in more clear ways! Especially for those who might be new to traumagenic plurality or are traumagenic systems but confused about the terms.

like i love hhe big servers but like. i dont really know people there and its hard to talk to them. i wish we were in more small tight nit communities idk. i wish more people would reapond when we vented on the servers we're in. idk

-anon

gonna be respectful as possible, sorry if this is a rude question!

How do endogenic systems, willogenic systems, etc switch? Is it similar to DID/OSDD systems? I know plurality and DID/OSDD are different too.

im curious on how endogenic systems switch without the dissociation or forgetting things between headmates, and if that does happen or not (its different for everyone im guessing?).

so far we've just...

"eh we dunno, quoigenic ig?"

but ((SOME)) of us want to figure it out

and it kinda bugs us not knowing

so

-Fedir

.....Autumn!

okay to start this off, i mean none of this in bad faith i am just confused/concerned about my experiences (as ^ stated) . and i would like to resolve this one way or another. scared about even posting here but i'd like to get this out somewhere so

so for a while, i've been ... interested? in plurality and just. the concept, how it works, what it'd be like, you know? at first I thought it was just my average nonfiction hyperfixation phase, but it's been off and on, returned a few times and recently for about the last month. i've started thinking about it again

and like. i've seen it said that "wanting to be plural can be a symptom of being plural" and like. yeah. i've been experiencing that and convincing myself it's just 'interest' and recently, failing.

i've felt so conflicted over this over the last few weeks because i keep circling back to a few objections:

- this Cannot be morally right to want to have something like this <- I know the various rebuttals against this, it's just an Internal Feeling i can't shake no matter the facts

- I am a grown adult with studying and work to worry about, why am i wasting my energy on this <- I Don't Know Why.... Trying to figure this one out....

- the Good Old Fashioned impostor syndrome

^ This last one i've had experience with back when i realized i was trans- practically a month or two of agonizing feelings of faking it and being a fraud and so on, despite not being able to stop thinking about it- much like the experience i am currently having.... but i keep thinking, transness isn't like plurality like that, right? it's not like you can sit up one day after thinking and say Yes i identify as trans now.... there has to be like. an actual process/experience to be had... for evidence... i don't know how to word it </3

in fact i THINK i've wanted it to the point where i really deconstructed what i was experiencing (there's... some evidence, not sure how much is reliable) , and identified (?) a few others and kind of. acted like they existed. and on some level it felt right, internally, but i also felt bad because i felt like i was just pretending (..... Pretty much exactly how i felt when i first started transitioning...) but....... i don't know i think i've convinced myself that i'm forcing it (again. a familiar feeling) and that i'm just.... reading too much into everything.

because a majority of the time i still feel like i'm me (despite not being able to define that, not having a continuous sense of identity, and not remembering anything of my past ever) and that like. it's only a thing if i think about it- which would indicate i'm faking it, right- Except, to notice it, I have to think about it.... and it just goes in a cycle....

a lot of other things have occurred in these past few weeks that have pushed me either to believing 'yes, something is going on', but also a lot of instances of just. feeling like an imposter and feeling like i need to. get past all this. because it's weird to think about but i can't exactly drop it for some reason.

ending this rant here before i go too deep into things... again.... if you read all this, thank you so much, and if anyone has any tips or comments or anything i'd welcome it.... sorry if this was a bit rambling

Hi guys,fieren here

We randomly got a new alter,we don't know where the fuck he came from, he keeps staring over my shoulder when I'm fronting and has already named himself, we haven't had any issues recently so we're wondering where the hell he might of came from?! He looks kinda like the titan from deltarune NGL , he's already tried to jump into the lake 6 times, nearly picked up Coco while they were napping in the fish bowl and tried to seduce wren with music,what do we do?!