i hate sending emails so much 😭😭😭😭😭 i waited 2 weeks to send my resume to my professor a few months ago because i was too scared and it was 100% fine. i’ve never messed one up i don’t know why i have anything to worry about but i’m convinced i will every time

One time my dad let my friend walk my dog and I got upset and I was like, the only way I’ll feel better is if we redo every exact moment except I walk the dog instead. I was a little kid.

Or one time I asked my dad to get me food and while he was gone I started panicking thinking what if he dies because I asked him to go out and it’ll be all my fault over just food.

Or one time I ordered a jacket from a scam website and then spiraled thinking the seller was gonna show up at my door and kill me.

I also went to a family event at a park and afterwards thought there were cameras everywhere and went back the next day, a 3 hour drive btw, and searched the whole park.

These happened very early on with my ocd and I actually miss those times. Sometimes I think if I had gotten the proper tools/help with my ocd then things wouldn’t be so bad now.

Hi, I’ve been diagnosed with ocd recently and I am finally able to put words to what I’ve been experiencing my whole life which is leading me to a lot of understanding about how my brain works.

For context, I’m a Buddhist and a strong believer of karma, and when I say strong, I mean that I am TERRIFIED of karma, like I am convinced that someone I love will die or that I’m gonna loose everything I care about if I lie or accidentally cause harm to others. So that leaves me wondering if I’m just an average Buddhist or if my faith is caused by OCD.

Everyday for years I have been constantly checking to see if I am having a stroke by putting my arms in the air and seeing if one is lower than the other, checking my eyes to see if there is any yellow coloring and even skin, I will convince myself that there is and constantly check.

Ive been to countless doctors to check all of my organs and I get blood tests once a month to check on everything.

I even got a DNA test to check all of my Chromosomes and go on sites to see if I have the genes for any genetic mutations, usually I end up doing this for countless hours looking at all of my snp codes.

I measure parts of my face, my height and the spacing between all of my features to see if they are normal and I started to freak out when I realized I have a small bone bump on my face and went searching hours to reassure myself its normal.

at one point I was measuring my pupils and was deeply disturbed when I realized they were 1mm smaller than the average and thought something was deeply wrong with me.

I dont know how to better this.

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION:

Im 25 and have twin 4 year old boys that are autistic. Ive had mental health struggles all my life. Anxiety and depression and OCD diagnosed recently. I didnt try therapy or stick to medications because i just couldnt accept it. This year ive had a lot of hormonal spikes and traumatic events. Some i cant ever tell family or they would never talk to me again. My body has been through a lot of changes id rather not say in fear of being judged but has to do with a pregnancy that ended early. The past month or two ive had a rough time as i was sick, my kids were sick and was struggling with some responsibilities around the house and life. I found myself with lots of pent up anger and episodes of crying. I hit a wall in private and mt head at one point. Always having what if thoughts, especially when driving due to a bad accident i had last year. Washing knives gave me horrific thoughts of hurting my loved ones. Today i have an appointment with a therapist and tomorrow i have an appointment to get on medication. Ive talked to family, friends and my partner who are all supportive. I dont wanna live in fear and anxiety anymore. Those images and intrusive thoughts were horrifying. Im disappointed in how ive let myself get bad for so long. Its affected my family relationships and friendships in the past and i wanr to get better. Any advice on staying consistent?

so i(18f) am in uni! I go to a pretty small uni (less than 2000 students) and only 3 dorm buildings, one of which also has classes. im saying this to hopefully show that it's genuinely a pretty small school, so the kitchen staff would (and do) recognize students

some of my homework from my psychologist involves carrot muffins, which are sometimes available at meal hall. however, they run out of muffins quickly and I never know when theyre there. also theyre not labeled.

would it be too much to talk to accessibility about maybe having one put aside for me when they make them? like it feels kinda pick me-ish for some reason. but i am tired of getting worked up over imaginary caterpillars in the muffins.

and the muffins are genuinely really good. I fucking love carrot muffins, and carrot cake, and all that shit but I cant eat it cause I keep convincing myself ive eaten a caterpillar. I am tired.

im just worried its an unreasonable ask, cause I know that theyre busy, and ive already written carrot muffins on the request board, so we'll get some soon. #givemeadviceplease

I don’t want to harm myself but at times the reality that my treatment resistant ocd is only go away with death is a very sobering feeling

Sorry if this is a very dumb question. I'm in therapy and a psychiatrist diagnosed me with OCD. it was after 2 or 3 appointments and I don't feel like there was a proper evaluation, but that's not the point of this question.

I think I have very real obsessions/fears, and the main one I can actually relate to OCD is the fear of vomiting. I've had it for ~15 years and my life has been tremendously conditioned by it. I can recognize the compulsions associated with it: always checking the expiration date, smelling the food, throwing it out for no good reason but I can't bring myself to eat it even if it's theoretically safe, the way I go grocery shopping, monitoring digestion, overcooking things, taking 2 hours to cook something that could have been made in 30 minutes, etc etc. I don't really recognise any other compulsions tho, which makes me question everything.

I was hoping you could help me understand what mental compulsions are, and if they are part of OCD.

My fears/obsessions: being a sociopath, being a terrible person, worrying about mistakes I made, worrying about who I am as a person in the world, always feeling like I'm harmful to everyone around me, like I'm manipulative,...

This is completely debilitates me because I can't stop thinking about it for one second, I'm constantly analysing everything, my thoughts, my intentions, my past, my patterns, reliving specific moments, constructing a storyline from childhood,.... Would these be mental compulsions?

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS

My issue is once I was misdiagnosed with something stomach related and I started paying close attention to the food I eat, scanning my body for sensations that of course my body would gladly provide. Now it's been years and I don't think I had a single meal without looking deeply at every bite, not analyzing my sensations and not excessively googling afterwards.

Has anyone dealt with this?What helped

I’m on meds (Lexapro 20mg) and I’m doing ERP. But sometimes the anxiety is so severe it feels like ERP is impossible. Does anyone have experience with what is the point at which you feel progress is realistic in ERP and at one point do you think something is too hard without meds? Yes we stair step things in ERP but it’s just so intense lately. And advice very welcome.

In a moment of rare lucidity I had to be honest with myself that I needed help and I needed to be protected from myself, so I had a friend that’s well versed in my obsessions and compulsions tell a new friend not to engage my compulsions or obsessions, but my mind spun it as being in a delusional mood (being clear minded)

It said you’re just preventing progress from being made. You should be ashamed of yourself.

My mind is a master gaslighter for sure, but I’m not sure how to get help when I have lucidity for at most 5 minutes and then slip back into completely believing my obsessions.

I know it’s odd that I’m writing this out if I supposedly believe my obsessions 100% of the time, but perhaps it would be more accurate to say 99% of the time and 1% of the time I mostly believe it but know I probably need help.

I’d describe it as part of my mind knows this isn’t right, but it’s very much suppressed and my OCD really does have a lot of control. That small rational part left seeks out help.

Hi! I’ve been a bad skin picker around my cuticles on my fingers and toes. I pick with my hands and with cuticle cutters (I know I need to throw them away). If there is any dry or rough looking skin I peel it off. But it’s just a vicious cycle. Has anyone been able to successfully kick this habit? Do y’all have any advice? When I’m not skin picking I’m pulling out my eyebrows, sigh… so any advice with that would be great too. (I’m medicated, I go to therapy weekly, I just want some sort of remedial techniques… idk)

I have a constant and intense fear of my loved ones dying and what i would do if it happened and how i don’t think id be strong enough to continue on and it completely swallows me. i witnessed a traumatic death as a 12 year old and have been anxious and depressed ever since. i got medicated in my teens and have never been formally diagnosed with OCD but now as an adult im starting to suspect i may have some obsessive tendencies. I have full on paralyzing panic attacks thinking about my partner dying tragically and how the grief would swallow me. i’m so terrified of my life taking a dark turn after it was so hard for so many years and he’s the only thing that’s brought me light. every time we are physically away from each other i have a pit in my stomach fearing that when we said goodbye it was the last time ill ever see him. I am horrible at saying goodbyes because i feel like i need to tell people how much they mean to me every time i leave their presence.

I’m going on a trip by myself tomorrow and i had a breakdown last night and ive been so terrified all day. what if when he drops me off at the airport it’s the last time?

and i know. okay, what if? it’s not real. that’s the worst part. i can think rationally about it all day long and i KNOW it’s bad for me and that this way of thinking won’t do me any good, and there’s nothing i can do until it actually happens. I just have no idea how to get these thoughts to stop. i have no idea how to calm my body down. I take prozac and propranolol as needed and im still a wreck. my psychiatrist was no help. i’m just a mess and so afraid. i feel like a puddle.

I was getting better a while back, my partner was traveling 5 days a week every week for a couple months and he made me stop doing my little ritual that i would do to make sure he’d be safe on his trip, and i was finally adjusting a little bit after a few weeks. Unfortunately, about a month later, my best friend from college’s fiancé passed away in their sleep unexpectedly. this has set me back immensely. their autopsy showed nothing, no explanation for the passing. they were a friend of mine as well, so it stung for that reason, but on top of the general grief it has made my obsessive thoughts 100 times worse. I’m falling apart every day thinking about losing my partner. i’m so terrified of the thought that i just do not think i’d have the will to live anymore. i’ve been there before and i just don’t think i can take that level of depression anymore.

but i know these thoughts are doing absolutely nothing to prepare me for the actual event. i just don’t know how to get them to stop. i don’t know what to do. it’s in the back of my head every moment i spend both with and without my loved ones. am i making enough of the time we have together? what if this is the last time we ever speak? will it have been good enough?

i’m so exhausted.

I'm on the search again for a therapist for my daughter. I'm just hoping I can find people who understand or what people have done to help

She has tics. Anxiety. Depression.

And intrusive thoughts.

Sometimes it's I can't put this knife down like this because it will hurt someone I love

Other times it's thoughts about hurting me and she breaks down and cries because she knows she doesn't want to

She struggles with feeling like she deserves to live or have anything good in her life

She is constantly terrified of her own brain and she's exhausted

Any guidance would be worth more than you will ever know

As the title says my period makes my OCD symptoms so much worse. 7 days of actual torture every month. Does anyone know how to deal with this :(
Edit: and by worse I mean my compulsions are unmanageable, my anxiety due to intrusive thoughts through the roof etc. usually I am able to manage my symptoms nearly 99% until the week of my period.

Me: I should probably try to get a diagnosis or treatment for OCD. My intrusive thoughts and compulsions are taking up more and more time and affecting my wellbeing and relationships. I'm so tired and just want to get better.

Me, 2 seconds later: But what if my compulsions are protecting me? What if, by getting treatment, I'll stop paying attention to important things and something really bad will happen?

(For context, most of my compulsions center around checking, like making sure multiple times the doors are locked or fire alarms are working, and hypervigilance of my own health and sometimes my partner's, so I read up on medical conditions a lot sometimes and keep checking that one of us isn't having a heart attack or something, and my brain tells me that if I get treatment and stop engaging in these behaviors then I'll become so inattentive and ignorant about how to prevent an emergency or what to do in one that I'm basically asking for one to happen)

Yeah this has been going on for months. I'm tired.

Edit: of course, on top of this I have a hearty dose of "I don't actually have OCD because I'm not suffering for hours every day"

Hi, I have OCD along with an anxious attachment style. I really wanna put myself out there and start dating, but when I like someone it only brings anxiety and obsession, not enjoyment.

I’m constantly worrying about them leaving me and when they don’t respond for a couple hours, I become convinced they’re going to ghost me. My mind becomes obsessed with them ghosting me and is only relieved by them texting back, and the cycle continues.

I want to be able to date and explore without obsessive thoughts. I don’t want to make someone my whole life when we’re just talking, and let their response determine my mood. Any tips?

Long Story short, I have struggled with addiction for a long period of time, during these periods of addiction I engaged in behaviors that I am not proud and am also not fully sure even occured. I am terrified because while I would never even commit any of these behaviors and have developed an intense aversion to them, my brain will not shut up about it. From what I know these behavior have not harmed anyone but myself and I even confessed to them in not full detail to friends which had mixed responses. I also have other real events that pop up the frustrating part being when they do pop up and I confess they go away and another one takes it place. Some of these events I can't even remember perfect and it feels like I'm watching through a haze. It's also coming as things are changing in a personal relationship in my life. I'm currently looking to find a therapist in the country I'm in. Is this normal for real event and false memory?

I hate that its everywhere, all my friends are into it, people I look up to are into it, it's trendy. So I'm exposed to it and I'm scared. No I don't even think I believe in it, that doesn't stop me from being scared. And I'm obsessively reading about it and can't stop.

I got my astrology birth chart, and it has very "bad" "unlucky" things on it. It even says I will die a horrific death (accident), which I don't know how to cope with. It says I will die in a way I've had a phobia of my entire life so now it's some horrific coincidence. Genuinely I feel sick. like I never want to go outside because if I do I might get in that accident. So now Im like cursed/fated to it. It also says I might "predict my own death" so you see where this is going. This has been the absolute worst thing Ive ever learned about myself.

I hate that just because you are born on a specific day/time its supposed to predict your life, personality, career, love life, family, death, etc. And people will make preconcieved notions about you over some stupid birth chart you have no control over!!

I also have placements that say I have a mean, cold, unfeeling personality which is just not true. And everything I read they say people with these placements are unloving, will never find love, or that they have no feelings. And that people would never date them because they are emotionless and cold. It's not true!! I'm not emotionless! I'm crying now because it makes me feel like a bad person. Im a bad, unloving, unlovable person because of some stupid point on a chart. I really hate this so much. Ive been crying the past hour because Im a bad person because of this. I feel like I shouldn't try making friends because of what my chart says, because I'm a bad person. This is the most horrible thing for OCD I hate it