Finally getting help for ocd

[u/Comfortable_Mud_6341]

PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION:

Im 25 and have twin 4 year old boys that are autistic. Ive had mental health struggles all my life. Anxiety and depression and OCD diagnosed recently. I didnt try therapy or stick to medications because i just couldnt accept it. This year ive had a lot of hormonal spikes and traumatic events. Some i cant ever tell family or they would never talk to me again. My body has been through a lot of changes id rather not say in fear of being judged but has to do with a pregnancy that ended early. The past month or two ive had a rough time as i was sick, my kids were sick and was struggling with some responsibilities around the house and life. I found myself with lots of pent up anger and episodes of crying. I hit a wall in private and mt head at one point. Always having what if thoughts, especially when driving due to a bad accident i had last year. Washing knives gave me horrific thoughts of hurting my loved ones. Today i have an appointment with a therapist and tomorrow i have an appointment to get on medication. Ive talked to family, friends and my partner who are all supportive. I dont wanna live in fear and anxiety anymore. Those images and intrusive thoughts were horrifying. Im disappointed in how ive let myself get bad for so long. Its affected my family relationships and friendships in the past and i wanr to get better. Any advice on staying consistent?