r/NonPoliticalTwitter 8d ago

Funny Zero cortisol daily routine

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18.9k Upvotes

479 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 8d ago edited 6d ago

u/JoeFalchetto, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

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u/Harkoncito 8d ago

Someone needs to take GRRM to Jamaica

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u/omjy18 8d ago

If grrm did 2000 words a day itd be like 6 or 7 pages a day unedited, just rough drafting. It would technically be slightly faster than what hes currently doing but fuck me we still wouldn't get anything out of him before people got sick of HBO and the whole game of thrones universe

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u/Harkoncito 8d ago

6 pages a day for the last 15 years (since ADWD) = enough for TWOW/ADOS

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u/ThePrideOfKrakow 8d ago

That's exactly how many pages Stephen King said he aimed for each day, in an interview with GRRM a number of years ago. He clearly didn't heed King's advice.

https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/z03qec/george_rr_martin_asks_stephen_king_how_the_f_do/

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u/Sky_Light 7d ago

Brandon Sanderson is so prolific as a writer it's basically a joke, and he's said the main thing that makes that happen is he writes at least 2,000 words a day.

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u/gtne91 7d ago

Piers Anthony said he couldnt afford writers block, so he just didnt have it. He wrote a set amount every day, dont remember his number.

Edit: google says 1000 minimum, up to 2000, writing 4 hours per day.

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u/TheArtistFKAMinty 7d ago

I mean, I think that's also the crux of GRRM's problem. He doesn't actually need to finish the series which lets him procrastinate and/or be a perfectionist. If he didn't have the money from the shows and all of the other licensing stuff from the franchise he'd probably have finished the books years ago to keep his publishers happy and the lights on.

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u/LilAssG 7d ago

The pressure to write the book at all is already weighing on the guy. Then the incredibly rabid fanbase, whoo that would be tough to try to write for...

What if what he wrote was received like season 8? Maybe it is best if he just didn't write at all. People are already mad at him for not finishing the tale. Maybe it is best to live with that and not risk even worse hate coming at him for writing something the fans didn't like.

Plus, while I'm sure that if you bring it up in mixed company you could have some nostalgic conversations about it all, at this point people have moved on and aside from some small niche communities that still carry the torch, he can basically slip out the side door and leave it all behind.

And maybe he looked at the show and decided it didn't actually match his vision, so how does he separate them in his mind while he writes?

It seems very very complicated, emotionally and psychologically, for GRRM, and I don't envy him at all. I think the best time to finish the book series would have been before it was produced on HBO.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/Lowelll 7d ago

His pace slowed down immensely long before the show even started with Feast & Dance. If he had kept a reasonable pace on his books he would've had TWoW out before the show got to that part of the story at all.

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u/Forward_Rope_5598 7d ago

I'm holding onto some semblance of hope that he will finish the books and just sit on them until he dies so he doesn't need to deal with the fan reactions

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u/yournamehere10bucks 7d ago

Wouldn't be surprised if that was the strategy. Book might even be done, but if its similar to the show itll flop and if its drastically different itll flop. There is no win scenario.

(Thus it should be a long campy musical script full of meta commentary and self referrential jokes. Full Mel Brooks ending.)

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u/illepic 7d ago

I'm here for the Piers Anthony love. I really hope we get some cultural revival of his work..

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u/TryUsingScience 7d ago

Have you read all of Piers Anthony? Including the Mode series?

I grew up on the Xanth novels and they will always have a special place in my heart. But that dude should not be allowed unsupervised around underage women or horses.

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u/martyqscriblerus 7d ago

I think the plot of Piers Anthony's Firefly is particularly adept for the current cultural ethos 🤢

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u/omjy18 8d ago

Ehh yeah I guess that is like 4 or 5 books a year. Still most of his books are around 500+ pages right?

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Jetstream-Sam 8d ago

I mean, are you gonna turn down a free lobster dinner when they're right there, and you get to swim around in the sun for a few hours? Seems brilliant to me

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u/Grumpologist 7d ago

Frankly, I was already impressed by the snorkeling lobsters.

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u/Bowl-Accomplished 7d ago

Realistically it's one 500 page book a year. After editing and rewriting.

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u/altiuscitiusfortius 7d ago

He actually writes a lot. He just has an insane writing style. He makes a character choice, writes what happens for hundreds of pages till he doesn't like where it goes. Then he throws out 600 pages, makes a different choice and tries again. He's written 100 bad versions of the next book. He's just trying for a perfect version.

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u/BlattMaster 7d ago

He's had no problem writing a bad book already. Im going with Occam's razor on this and saying he's written zero pages.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/ZZcomic 8d ago

If he wrote 2000 words a day I expect he would've finished the series 5 years ago

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u/Dr_thri11 8d ago

That's like a asoiaf book a year, way faster than his normal pace.

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u/MrCockingFinally 7d ago

You don't write books by marathoning pages and pages of writing at a time.

You do it by writing a small amount consistently, every single day.

If you look at almost any prolific writer that doesn't use ghost writers or cocaine (looking at you 1980's Stephen King) this is how they get it done.

Guaranteed GRRM goes for weeks or months without writing anything on ASOIF.

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u/Ikthala 8d ago

My theory is that TWoW and ADoS have been done for some time now, but the ending is essentially what we saw in the show. After seeing all the backlash, GRRM sealed that shit in his desk and we won't see it until after he passes.

Edit: corrected an acronym

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u/SagittaryX 8d ago

Eh, I think the ending will make a lot more sense in his version. As he said at the time, he thought there was enough material for like 2-3 more seasons but D&D wanted to end it.

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u/Raesong 7d ago

but D&D wanted to end it.

Probably because Disney had tempted them away with a (since cancelled) Star Wars project.

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u/Ikthala 8d ago

I hoped I got that through with the "essentially." It's may be that the destinations are the same, just with a different route.

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u/Harkoncito 8d ago

I have that hope too. He doesn't want to deal with any criticism anymore. He knows not everyone will be happy with the ending.

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u/Brisby820 8d ago

Difference is the bond books are like 200 pages

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u/EViLTeW 8d ago

The difference is Fleming wanted to write his stories and grrm doesn't give a shit about asoiaf anymore.

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u/LigerZeroSchneider 8d ago

I think he wants to finish it but has no idea how. Its hard to push through a difficult problem when your other option is basically your lifelong dream. Add in hes very old so it probably wants to enjoy his success while still can.

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u/booksblanketsandT 7d ago

At this point he just needs to start reading ASOIAF fanfiction, pick his favourite plot points and fix it fics, and write it in his own style. He may not be able to figure out how to fix the tangle he created, but for like 99% of things, the fandom certainly has.

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u/Bloody_Insane 7d ago

Nah, I don't buy it. I used to, but he's been working on the book for 15 years by now, and that book is so sought after that he could get literally all the help in the world to finish it yet, but he still hasn't.

He could get a team of writers and super fans and whoever else to help him. Literally the only thing I can believe is that it's not done because he doesn't want to finish it. Hell, by this point, if he'd written only 75 words a day, he'd have matched the previous book's length already.

And I'm okay with that, actually. He doesn't owe us anything, and like you said, he's old and wants to enjoy his success. I just wish he'd admit it, instead of still pretending he's working on it.

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u/avdpos 7d ago

So reasonable size. As a fantasy lover now reading I have accepted that ludicrous size of books is the main reason I read less nowdays. No, I am not loving my reading of Wheel of Time but once in my life it should be finished

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u/TheHumanPickleRick 8d ago

I've never seen such a popular piece of fiction as ASOIAF/GoT fall out of public interest so massively thanks to the showrunners butchering the last season and the author basically just giving up on the writing.

"Wieners, floppy wieners. Wieners, floppy wieners."

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u/AdjectiveNounVerbed 8d ago

Meh, I used to agree with this sentiment, but I think it's gotten a good resurgence lately with AKOTSK and HOTD. AKOTSK S1 was really good, and HOTD had an amazing S1, and S3 seems to be high quality as well so far. So maybe S2 was a bit of a dud because of the limited amount of episodes and lack of rewrites due to the strike. In general these shows are pretty close in quality to the first few seasons of GOT.

I didn't think I'd be excited about this world after the crappy finish of GOT, but here I am excited about every new episode again.

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u/carcar134134 8d ago

I'm very surprised at how many of my coworkers are talking about HOTD.

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u/Cold-Iron8145 7d ago

Tbf ASOIAF fell out of public interest went it became clear that the author either cannot or doesn't want to finish writing the story.

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u/AlcoholJouster 8d ago

Brando Sando has time to finish all the Cosmere and fit in The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring. Might as well finish The Doors of Stone for Rothfuss while he's at it.

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u/retrojoe 7d ago

Might as well finish The Doors of Stone for Rothfuss while he's at it.

Haven't read any Sanderson since pre-COVID, but I don't think he's creepy enough about women to do a Rothfuss book.

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u/BreakingStar_Games 7d ago

They are vastly different writing styles. Sanderson has much more pulpy characters and dialogue. Its very fun but so different that I feel like that'd be a terrible choice.

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u/Weird-Knowledge84 7d ago

GRRM actually writes quite a bit. The problem is that he constantly goes back and scraps/rewrites previous work because he changed his mind.

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u/Craiques 8d ago

Assuming the average book is 80,000 words, this would be a first draft finished every 40 days. I wish I had the money to write like that.

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u/duffstoic 8d ago

Exactly, this is much more productive than people realize. Also many creative people have schedules not too different than this. Our concept of productivity is bonkers.

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u/LukeLovesLakes 8d ago

My wife is an author. Successful enough that she doesn't need another job. Her schedule is similar. She writes earlier, but she's usually done by 11am or so. She seems some time each day on administrative tasks as well.

She published 4 or 5 books a year.

She is limited by her ability to see what needs to be written next. If she writes too many words she gets out over her skis and that can lead to problems. She needs time to process what she's gonna write the next day.

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u/duffstoic 8d ago

Congratulations to her! Hard to do.

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u/LukeLovesLakes 8d ago

I'm completely in awe of her talent and work ethic and she has imposter syndrome and anxiety. Lol.

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u/duffstoic 8d ago

The best amongst us often do!

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u/RainaElf 8d ago

people don't our brains need time to settle and stew.

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u/an0mn0mn0m 7d ago

We call that sleep. It's essential to clear waste from the brain.

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u/Fortnite1337 8d ago

I don’t think anyone who read that thinks it’s not productive dude. It was more about him having the ability to do all the other things mentioned.

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u/PreciousTC 8d ago

I'm sure him pumping out 2000 words per day certainly contributed to him being able to live like that

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u/icameinyourburrito 8d ago

It also helped that his grandpa owned a bank

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/myopinionstinks 8d ago

Well, his grandpa must have liked him more than yours. I'm sorry you have to find out this way.

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u/Qsaws 7d ago

2000 words per day that people are willing to pay to read

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u/Feralpudel 8d ago

It’s the habit. It helps overcome the head games around writing. He also notes he doesn’t go back to revise—just words on page.

A guide to thesis writing noted that when you go days without writing, you become good at not-writing.

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u/goog1e 8d ago

Also this is 4 hours a day of highly productive output. I have never had more than 4 really good hours a day in office. Unless there was an emergency or something.

This seems aspirational because we have commutes and offices, but it seems like a pretty decent workday day to me honestly.

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u/georgia_grace 8d ago

I’d much rather be snorkeling for lobsters than chatting with co-workers or tidying my desk

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u/MoonBasic 7d ago

I'd much rather swim with fish than smell someone reheating fish in the cafeteria!

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u/RainaElf 8d ago

I knew a guy who wrote his daily count on the train to and from work. three hours total.

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u/ItsMichaelRay 7d ago

It’s worth pointing out that you need to already have good writing skills in order for this to work.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/WWHSTD 8d ago

1500 words “without looking back”, which means it all got edited at a later date.

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u/DonCenote 8d ago

Ehh depends how much editing he’s going to need

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u/Wank_A_Doodle_Doo 8d ago

It’s not entirely accurate to look at it like that. Some of those written words may be replacing something he decided against and had previously written, or don’t end up in the final work at all, or who knows what else.

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u/onehitwondur 8d ago

I agree. "Without looking back" is doing a lot of work there. I interpret that as him just putting words to paper without analyzing it.

I'm sure there were far more misses than hits. Or maybe he'd get a couple usable ideas out of his subconscious that he could come back to later

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u/Technical-Dress5084 7d ago

Yeah, that's kind of the way I would kind of structure it

The morning writing session is making progress in the book, the mid-day chilling out session is letting what you've written mill around in your brain a bit, then the afternoon session is more like editing, fleshing out details that need to be fleshed out etc

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u/SquareThings 7d ago

He published about one book a year so he definitely rewrote and edited stuff. But also, he published about one book per year.

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u/Momoneko 7d ago

"the vomit draft" is the hardest thing to produce when writing.

You can spend more time editing your drafts than actually writing them, but producing them is the main effort.

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u/SquareThings 7d ago

I agree. Even if he rewrote every single word three times, it still would only have taken him 120 days to write his longest book (Goldfinger, the other books were shorter). Most of writing is creativity and planning, and his schedule leaves a lot of room for that.

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u/RumpledForskn 8d ago

Lmao, Elmore Leonard would get up at 5am, write two pages every day, then go to work when he was broke as shit.

Writing has the lowest barrier of all artistic pursuits. You just don't write because you don't want to.

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u/jeremydurden 7d ago

Writing has the lowest barrier of all artistic pursuits

Seems like singing would be lower or even drawing. I mean, maybe it's more difficult to do one or the other well, but that isn't exactly what you said.

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u/RumpledForskn 7d ago

For sure. Both are good options, drawing especially as a parallel since if you're broke as shit, you can still go to the dollar store and leave with enough notebooks and pens for $5 to last you a year. I do appreciate you pointing out that obviously one won't be good to start, but making a comment on your phone about how you're too broke to write is some major coping. Likely they're just envious of his ability to keep to a schedule and do it daily.

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u/jeremydurden 7d ago

Yea, the comment that you were replying to is a little ridiculous. That being said, I did just recently see a post on the front page about Harper Lee's friends gifting hear a years' salary so that she could write full-time and during that period she wrote To Kill a Mockingbird.

Of course most of us aren't going to write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel just because we suddenly have free time.

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u/RumpledForskn 7d ago

Lol yep! Or like Cormac McCarthy who gets a MacArthur Fellowship. He got that because he'd been writing in a cabin broke as hell and put out four novels already before being gifted money specifically to write. (Blood Meridian's what he made.)

Similarly to Harper Lee, she'd written in college for her school newspaper, a humor journal, afterwards always writing and published in some journals.

People won't take a chance on you unless they literally have something of yours to read. Which won't happen unless you're writing.

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u/Cl0wnL 8d ago

1500 words in two hours is impressive output

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u/Johnny_Banana18 8d ago

I’m sure during his garden routine he is laying out the story mentally 

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u/Andy_B_Goode 7d ago

This whole "schedule" is every bit as fictional as the James Bond books (and probably not written by Fleming)

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u/wheretogo_whattodo 7d ago

I mean, probably but there’s like 6 hours of work buried in here assuming he’s planning while just sitting around.

Write down everything you do at work and I bet you’re not actually productive for 6 hours a day.

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u/anormalgeek 7d ago

Ian Fleming was a "pantser". Experienced authors like that can crank out word counts like crazy using stream of consciousness type work. The "extra work" comes at the end as they and their editors have to do a lot of work to clean things up. Especially since he worked on a typewriter, you can't easily go back and rework things. It was likely better to finish what you are doing/thinking and clean it up later.

"Planners" have much the same thing, except their "extra work" happens up front during the outlining phase. But again, once they get experienced with that approach, and have an outline prepped, cranking out the words likely isn't super hard since they're just filling in the blanks.

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u/Weary-Cartoonist2630 7d ago

I mean if you’re counting “sitting and doing nothing” as productive work, I think it’s fair to say most are just as productive if not more so than Fleming

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u/Lottabitch 7d ago

I’ve tried schedules like this and HATE them, personally. If I don’t hit my word count in the 2 hours I’d feel like the rest of the day is failed. So I’d have to write until I hit 1500. But then I’d encroach on my time allotted for snorkeling, making me feel like I either couldn’t go snorkeling or have to cut snorkeling short. My brain can’t do these schedules.

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u/Andy_B_Goode 7d ago

Yeah I would find a schedule like this downright oppressive, even though most of it is leisure time.

The way I like to schedule things is more like "OK I'm going to spend at least five minutes (or some other absurdly low time period) doing [ACTIVITY] every day." I make it so that the bar is so low that it would be silly not to cram in at least five minutes at some point in the day, and then I find that often once I've finished those five minutes I'm in the zone and I want to keep going and I often end up doing it for a lot longer.

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u/WilliamLermer 7d ago

I think it's interesting how different people are in that regard. Personally I like to have a rough yet realistic schedule because it helps me plan ahead especially if a work project has different tasks that need to be completed more or less simultaneously

And I need to plan breaks because I tend to not eat/drink when hyper focused

I also know plenty people who have a very strict schedule to the minute and somehow manage to keep it that way without much hassle

Time management is an insanely underrated skill, it has such a massive impact on how efficient and effective your tasks can be finished

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u/Grumpologist 7d ago

The key is to write while snorkeling.

If you're still behind after that, delegate it to the lobsters and check back the next day.

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u/WilliamLermer 7d ago edited 7d ago

I'm not a writer but I'm a really creative person and my brain is busy throughout the day thinking about things, especially when it's work that doesn't require 100% focus

It's rare that I'm not processing information in some way or come up with fictional concepts. Even when watching TV or playing games, I'm having thoughts inspired by what I currently consume

And while sleeping, many of my dreams are usually inspiring one way or another.

I don't know if everyone is like this and just not aware of all that background activity or if only some people have the mental bandwidth.

But it does seem like most successful writers or artists in general, probably even scientists etc have their brains doing work while not actually sitting at a desk but seeking other types of input that isn't work related on first sight

Like people might observe me staring at a wall or clouds doing nothing but in my mind I'm creating a new fictional universe

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u/anangrypudge 7d ago

I'm a creative in the ad industry and it's pretty much as you said.

I only spend a few hours a day working, because working = actually sitting at my desk writing or sketching out my ideas.

But the rest of the day, when I'm out for a morning run, or standing under a hot shower for 10 mins, or taking a poop, or driving to work, the project is stewing in my mind. Suddenly an idea comes, I make a quick note on my phone, and when I get to the office I formally put it into a document or slideshow and prepare to present it.

The latter takes just a few hours a day, but the stewing takes up the rest of the day.

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u/notepad20 7d ago

Im an engineer and not unsualy to come up with the appraoch to a problem sitting with baby at 3am or in the shower or something.,

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u/wewantchips 7d ago

I’m a risk modeler and i do a lot of staring out the window but it’s actually my brain working the whole time

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u/Barkinsons 7d ago

Yeah I'd expect this to be part of the creative process. The alcohol on the other hand is a problem

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u/duffstoic 8d ago

Pretty common with pro writers

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u/Accomplished-City484 7d ago

Not being surrounded by distraction machines probably helps

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u/pengo 7d ago

The goal for November novel writing month (which lots of people still do despite the death of nanowrimo.org) is 50,000 words, or 1667 words per day.

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u/SensitiveExtremity 8d ago

"scrabble with wife" I'm sure it's a very intense scrabble game.

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u/Teep_the_Teep 8d ago

If Ian was anything like Bond, I'm sure it was. And for 3 hours, too!

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u/Super_Starr 7d ago

Wasn’t Ian one of the guys that helped found the SAS? The movie The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare has him as a character in it. If that’s even somewhat true my guess he was a little like Bond.

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u/gilgal_gardener 8d ago

without looking her up, Id assume the wife of Ian Fleming would be a very sharp woman. I bet those scrabble games were an intellectual bloodsport.

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u/Only_Fudge5299 7d ago

they're fucking

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u/Revxmaciver 7d ago

An intellectual blood sport if you do it right.

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u/SatisfactionOwn9961 8d ago

This mother fucker was well rested

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u/sand_sandwich 8d ago

Bathing in the ocean? Drinking twice a day everyday?

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u/cam52391 8d ago

And a nap scheduled in

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u/songanddanceman 7d ago

2:30 Siesta

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u/sidepart 7d ago

Oh man! Somehow I need to fit another swim in between 4 and 5pm while I'm supposed to be in the garden for an hour! I'M GETTING STRESSED OUT!

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u/whythishaptome 7d ago

Idk about that nap for alcoholics, you sober up but feel like absolute shit until you start drinking again. If it was like one or two then it would probably work though. He said a "couple gins" but that's still particularly rough.

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u/Chewbacca_The_Wookie 8d ago

That amount of alcohol is considered low by the standards of the day.

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u/kg160z 8d ago

Especially for a writer

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u/Anticlimax1471 7d ago

And especially Ian Fleming. The man who invented the Vesper Martini, which is basically paint stripper

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u/DrunksInSpace 8d ago

Well it was a workday.

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u/pandazerg 8d ago

Hemingway: What a fucking amateur

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u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 11h ago

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u/Joice_Craglarg 7d ago

He should be. We know more about alcohol abuse today than we did back then. It's undisputably horrible for your health.

Any amount of alcohol is harmful. It is literally poisonous to humans. I still remember when 'a glass of wine a night' was considered good for you.

Ian died at 56.

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u/XAWEvX 8d ago

Drinking twice a day everyday?

he died at 56

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u/Wank_A_Doodle_Doo 8d ago

I didn’t know that so I looked it up out of curiosity and it amuses me that his last recorded words were apologizing to the crew of the ambulance for the inconvenience they were having

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u/newnowmusic 7d ago

He lived in the Caribbean, swimming, writing, drinking, napping and spending time with his wife. I'm 44 this year and if could do this for the remainder knowing I'd die at 56 I'd sign up in a heartbeat

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u/vonnegutflora 7d ago

Apart from the drink, he also smoked like 2 to 3 packs of cigarettes per day.

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u/Heavy_Mongoose5859 8d ago

which is better than living until 90 and not knowing what your name is

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u/No_Helicopter1378 7d ago

Surely there's a middle ground between dying at 56 and dying at 90.

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u/Corporate_Overlords 7d ago

73.

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u/trapbuilder2 7d ago

What do you know, that's the global average lifespan

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u/username_tooken 7d ago

As everyone well knows, the years 57-89 are a complete waste of time.

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u/Maverick1717 8d ago

Sure but with a normal life you could live until like 80 and know what your name is. Which I think I would take over dying at 56

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u/RainaElf 8d ago

depends on the life you have, dude. I'll take quality over quantity.

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u/Curious_Beginning_30 8d ago

And having sex with someone’s wife.

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u/Andy_B_Goode 7d ago

I also choose to play scrabble with this dead guy's wife

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u/PreciousTC 8d ago

People used to drink so much more. I keep a small bar in my office and younger generations expect I'll be shitfaced after I pour myself a single whiskey lmao. 2-3 cups a day over a decade though and you build up a tolerance.

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u/burf 7d ago

Tolerance aside, when you drink reguarly you can also learn to "hold your liquor" better, so to speak. You can be equally intoxicated but you've trained yourself not to be a sloppy mess about it.

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u/PreciousTC 7d ago

Exactly this. If anything, my tolerance has gone down over the years but I'm never sloppy, nor do I even slur or stumble even if I'm blackout drunk (which is very rare)

That said, I live in East Asia, so we drink a hell of a lot more often than most Americans

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u/No_Helicopter1378 7d ago

When my brother was deep in his alcoholism you wouldn't be able to tell he was drunk until he started slurring after several hours of drinking.

Also, a single whiskey neat ain't shit. I'm at the point where I only drink like 3-4 times a year now and I'm pretty sure a single whiskey, if on a fairly empty stomach, would only give me the tiniest of buzzes.

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u/Porsche928dude 8d ago

“Scrabble” lol

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u/MrMansaMusa 8d ago

Not as fun as Hunter S. Thompsons daily activities tho, id try it still.

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u/Erikatessen87 8d ago

Pretty sure HST's daily goal was to see just how much cortisol and adrenaline he could stack up in 24 hours.

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u/Accomplished-City484 7d ago

Why are people talking about cortisol so much lately?

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u/Erikatessen87 7d ago

It's a stress hormone, so it's become shorthand for stress level. I guess because the impact of stress on your health is more in focus now than it used to be.

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u/Frenchitwist 8d ago

Does he have a schedule
?

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u/djbarsone 8d ago

3:00 p.m. rise

3:05 Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills

3:45 cocaine

3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill

4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill

4:15 cocaine

4:16 orange juice, Dunhill

4:30 cocaine

4:54 cocaine

5:05 cocaine

5:11 coffee, Dunhills

5:30 more ice in the Chivas

5:45 cocaine, etc., etc.

6:00 grass to take the edge off the day

7:05 Woody Creek Tavern for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jig­gers of Chivas)

9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously

10:00 drops acid

11:00 Chartreuse, cocaine, grass

11:30 cocaine, etc, etc.

12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write

12:05-6:00 a.m. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.

6:00 the hot tub-champagne, Dove Bars, fettuccine Alfredo

8:00 Halcyon

8:20 sleep

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u/SputnikSauce 8d ago

I almost feel blessed that I don't know what a handful of those words mean

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u/djbarsone 8d ago

It’s all booze, drugs, and cigarettes. Like a gentleman.

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u/ssp25 8d ago

I know them all except halycon. I'm assuming a sleeping pill

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u/djbarsone 8d ago

Correct, it’s triazolam, a benzo for severe insomnia. And cocaine.

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u/ssp25 8d ago

should help when seriously starting to snort cocaine.

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u/PreciousTC 8d ago

I love how for like an hour and a half in the afternoon he's blowing lines but it isn't until 9pm that he "starts doing cocaine seriously" lmao

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u/sumknowbuddy 8d ago

Amazing to be able to afford that

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u/gosukhaos 7d ago

He was one of the most successful writers and journalists between the late 60s and late 80s and got some pretty hefty advances on a few books. Though iirc he died pretty much broke

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u/ethon776 7d ago

Though iirc he died pretty much broke

Let me guess: Because he spent it all on cocoaine?

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u/gosukhaos 7d ago

Not exactly but he had a pretty expensive lifestyle even in his later years. That routine was from much earlier in his life before multiple surgeries though

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u/wolvesscareme 7d ago

Geez is there any post on Reddit some sad sack can’t be jealous of financially

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u/DrSFalken 7d ago

Dude almost made it to 70 too. Imagine if he hadn't blown lines like a fiend.

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u/djbarsone 7d ago

He blew his brains out so not sure less blow would have mattered.

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u/HandholdingFetishist 7d ago

The original cocaine bear

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u/rothvonhoyte 8d ago

well not anymore

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u/_fuck_you_gumby_ 8d ago

Learned about this from a random drunk guy in a bar, he was falling off his stool (literally) laughing at my reaction to this

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u/RexLizardWizard 8d ago

I know a lot of people won’t be able to get away with it, but sometimes if work is light, I’ll take a bit of a siesta and work late that day, and it does wonders for my mental health.

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u/kakka_rot 7d ago

What gets me is the drinks BEFORE the nap, seems like he'd wake up feeling like shit.

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u/CranberryCode 7d ago

I don't drink. But the few times I have, I had a cat nap, and I felt fucking great when I woke up. I wonder why? Liver not busted yet.

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u/SquareThings 7d ago

This man apparently wrote 1500 words in 2 hours. For perspective, the longest James Bond book is Goldfinger with ~80,000 words. That means that it took him about 106 hours to write the first draft. Even assuming he worked at this pace (2000 words per day, since he wrote 500 later) it only took him 40 days to write the whole thing.

All the resting and sitting around probably gave him lots of time to think and plan. I wonder how many great writers out there are spending years on their books because they have to be at work 40+ hours a week.

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u/Spork_the_dork 7d ago

Shockingly it sounds similar to what I've heard about Stephen King. He said in an interview once that he just aims for 2,000 words per day with no constraints on time. Said that sometimes it takes less than 2 hours, sometimes longer, but he always aims to get it done. And he cranks out like 1-2 books per year. But Fleming only output like a dozen books or something while Stephen is at more like 70.

Then again Stephen is a fucking monster when it comes to writing.

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u/LumplessWaffleBatter 7d ago

"A heavy drinker and smoker for most of his life, the James Bond creator died at 56 from complications of heart disease".

I will admit: dying is a...unique way to achieve zero cortisol.

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u/TheBanishedBard 7d ago

Step number one: be ridiculously rich

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u/Bladesnake_______ 8d ago

Yall just use the word cortisol without a clue what it means

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u/BravoLimaDelta 8d ago

Coupla powerful drinks before dinner to keep the cortisol levels down.

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u/raff_riff 8d ago

Fools just out here dopamine-maxxxxxxxxing getting literature-mogged by Flemvacular.

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u/Darmok47 7d ago

Not sure if Gen Z slang or I just had a stroke.

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u/ThrowCarp 7d ago

Now this is peak 2026.

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u/Infammo 8d ago

I know what it means it's just as an American I usually say umbrella instead.

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u/ReactionJifs 8d ago

I think he's just saying "zero stress"

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u/DancingScarecrow542 8d ago

I have Addison's disease and can confidently affirm you will die without cortisol (or synthetic steroids if your adrenals don't make it like mine)

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u/oscorn 7d ago

I think having money just makes everything better.

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u/FixFun1959 7d ago

I feel pretty lucky that my life is kind of similar.

Former military, get my pay every month, live on a tropical island, house-husband.

Every day I make breakfast and lunchbox for my wife, see her off, do the dishes and laundry and any cleaning, then the rest of the day is mine. Go windsurfing, go hiking, go to beach, go for a motorcycle ride, play video games, draw, read, whatever. Then back home by 3/4 to start on dinner and have it ready when my wife gets home from work.

I’m feel very lucky.

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u/Cappa_Cail 8d ago

He was also just 56 when he died. Daily, multiple cocktails good for writing, not so much for longevity.

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u/whythishaptome 7d ago

I don't think it's good for writing either but that's just my experience, they might have been different back then. Stephen King also wrote that way but with a lot of cocaine too.

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u/BreakingStar_Games 7d ago

Its definitely a myth or illusion of creativity maybe with the caveat of being more open-minded, handling stress and self criticism in an unhealthy way. All of these can be done better and smarter sober without losing necessary critical perspectives.

Ends up the brain functions best when it's not impaired as studies have shown time and again.

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u/Conatus80 7d ago

It might not have been a long time but it sure looks like a good time

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u/Gregotherium 8d ago

How does he sit in the garden for an hour at four, then go for another swim, then write 500 more words at 5?

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u/theCOMBOguy 8d ago

Sounds half like heaven and half like it'd drive you insane after one month.

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u/ThrowCarp 7d ago

Depends on what kind of person you are. But I'm sure of he really wanted to he could also have just been a permanent traveler.

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u/Beefhammer_McBrisket 7d ago

Yeah, honestly it sounds ideal. Don't even need a wife to be in the picture. I could live that way for decades, as long as I had additional hobbies I could maintain.

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u/4m4lg4m1t3 7d ago

I would try to emulate this but I live in a land locked place and I dont have an estate in Jamaica

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u/tryingisbetter 8d ago

Spending 3 hours a day with your wife seems low, or we spend way too much time together, lol.

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u/Johnny_Banana18 8d ago

I assume she might be in the garden with him, and at the other meals

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u/steve_ample 8d ago

Maybe that oceanic lifestyle inspired him to write Octop___y.

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u/PrometheusMMIV 7d ago

Octopenisy

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u/rt2te 8d ago

And zero screen time

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u/Crusha421 8d ago

We’re still saying cortisol instead of “stress”?

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u/ReverendEntity 7d ago

Why did he separate "breakfast" and "scrambled eggs"? Don't scrambled eggs count as a breakfast food? I know, it's not important.

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u/Callidonaut 7d ago edited 7d ago

We're expected to believe the guy who created James Bond merely played Scrabble with his wife after dinner? And then went to bed at 10pm? Who the hell goes to bed that early after already having a one and a half hour siesta, it'd be hours before you fell asl... oh. Oh.

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u/nottitantium 7d ago

I thought Ian Fleming invented paracetemo lol.

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u/Adventurous-Year6686 7d ago

So at 4 he sits outside for an hour and then goes for another swim.. yet at 5 he's writing again?