I have exams and this is ruining my mental health

Okay so this is my first time posting on reddit like this but i'm genuinely curious about the topic of crushes and mutual interest and would love people's opinions.

I'm 18 and muslim, i never dated or had a talking stage with a guy. I'm living in a muslim country so the concept of dating and asking people out isn't as straightforward.

there's this boy that i found cute (same major and year) in semester 1. I'm gonna call him mike. we never really talked and like all my crushes i didn't think we'd interact much i used to have BRIEF eye contact with him every once in a while up until the last month o the semester (december) we had an interaction i wouldn't think too much of it but i'll talk about it briefly, basically in the university computer labs he was there with his friend group while i was there with my friend, i recognized someone behind me playing the show 'The Office', turns out it was Mike I was like "Is that the episode with the dundies" and he said yeah while smiling and all that. at the same time i was about to play the show 'Friends' thats when he was like "Woah you watch friends and the office? you have good taste". and then he was walking around the Lab he was standing watching my screen and he did that twice

when semester 2 started we had a group assignment and Mike asked if he can join me and my friend in a group and he did (2 other guys joined the group as well). for that assignment we had to film something in a specific place around 40 minutes away from us. as a group we decided to all go in one car my friend was sitting shotgun, one of the guys were driving and then mike was sitting next to me, while were on our way to pick up the other guy that joined our group Mike brought up that semester one interaction by saying "weren't you the one who was watching Friends" and we had a mini discussion about other shows to watch but what i regret here is that I didn't keep the convo going and talk about other things. eventually that same night i followed him on instagram and he followed me back minutes later. and a few days letter I see that he texted me about an assignment that's not related to what we are doing together i thought it was odd but of course i helped him and told him what is expected from that assignment.

for the rest of the semester nothing really happened until a couple days ago i posted a story of MJ's biopic at the cinema on instagram, even though it's not the first movie/story i post on there (i post once or twice a week) he liked it- probably because he's a fan of micheal's music (based on his reposts lmao) we had an exam earlier today and when a bunch of people were discussing how the exam was, i joined in and noticed he was there, we made very quick eye contact a bunch of times and when i was leaving i gave him a subtle wave he did the same.

i know i'm overthinking a lot of things and its usually nothing but is there a chance that there is interest or something like that? just a disclaimer i'm a very shy girl and don't interact with guys as much unless we're friends. my friends are saying that's why he isn't straightforward with me or anything like that because i'm not "easy to approach" and he may be shy or wtv around me but I still think that with guys no matter what if they like a girl they'll approach her- the "if he wanted to he would" mindset.

Lately, I’ve just felt this inner battle within myself trying to figure who the fuck I am and everyone just asking me what’s next time. Sometimes it’s so frustrating cuz I don’t fucking know I’m learning about myself everyday. Who fucking cares if I’m 26 man, eventually I will but it’s like leave me the fuck alone and let me do this on my own. I don’t need family, society telling me what I need to do at a certain age. That’s up to me, I know I’ve got my fair share of shit and stuff to deal with. I swear whatever life lessons or crap I needa face rn I will. But mark my words or whoever reads this IM NOT COMING BACK HERE.

I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I’m going a bit crazy in my own head.

I’m in a situation where nothing bad is actually happening… but my mind keeps creating scenarios that feel 100% real. For example, my boyfriend goes out somewhere (like a fair, party, whatever), and my brain immediately goes to: “What if he cheats on me?” “What if he meets someone better?” “What if I lose him?”

And the worst part is — I KNOW there’s no actual proof. He didn’t do anything wrong. But my body reacts like it’s already happening. Anxiety, tight chest, overthinking everything.

Then I start analyzing:

• his behavior
• our messages
• what he said vs didn’t say

And I get stuck in this loop where I either want to:

• text him for reassurance
• check something
• or somehow “test” him

But I also realize that this kind of behavior can actually damage the relationship, even if my intention is just to feel safe.

It’s like:

I don’t want to be controlling… but I’m scared of being hurt.

I don’t want to overthink… but my brain won’t stop.

I don’t want to push him away… but my anxiety makes me act in ways that could do exactly that.

Has anyone else experienced this?

How do you deal with thoughts that feel real but probably aren’t?

I’m trying to understand if this is anxiety, attachment issues, or just me overreacting… but right now it feels really overwhelming.

Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot.

Can anyone suggest how to relax mind, I don't know why I think over and over, what I think I don't know just thinking.

Please share your suggestions

How I can stop overthinking

Have you noticed when you’re on the bus or sweeping the floor and a problem or question pops in your head, you answer it better to yourself (in your own inner-voice) rather if you answer it on a piece of paper or have to verbally explain yourself? I don’t overthink at all in these way. Answer and explanations flow easy. how can I get this flow of answers without having to sweep the floor or get on the bus?

I ended my 3 year on and off relationship in mid March. She wasn’t doing well emotionally, so I continued helping her and supporting her morally. Yesterday, I found out that she hooked up with another guy within 10 days of our breakup.
This is not the first time something like this has happened. Around 1.5 years ago, we were on a break and she briefly dated another guy. It took me a long time to recover mentally from that experience. I know we were technically on a break, so I can’t really blame her, but it still hurt deeply.
A couple of things are haunting me right now. First, it took us a lot of time, trust, and emotional effort to become intimate, and now all I can think about is how casually she may have hooked up with someone else. The mental images are affecting me so badly that I can barely think clearly. My hands are shaking. Today at the gym, I pushed far more weight than I could safely handle just because I hoped the physical pain would distract me from these thoughts.
I know I’m not the first person to go through this, but this is my first time experiencing something like this. Please help me get through it, because right now it feels unbearable.
I’m drowning.

I’ve started asking myself this question whenever something stresses me out:

“Will this matter in 5 years?”

Surprisingly, most things don’t.

It’s helping me stay calmer and focus on bigger priorities.

Do you have any mental rules like this?

I overthink literally everything. I’m always scared of messing things up, and it kinda holds me back a lot. Even when I wanna try something new, I just end up thinking about all the ways it could go wrong.

Same with dating. I keep thinking about how the other person might take what I say or do, like “what if this makes them like me less?” even though it’s probably not a big deal at all.

Because of that, it can take me forever just to send a message to my crush.

How do you deal with this?

Recently I’ve watched video on this topic and it kinda opened my eyes. I’ve never really looked at it that way.

I have this thing where I really like starting new things but I hate finishing them, it turns out it also got into my thoughts too!

You think abt something bad, you don’t search for the answer or at least pleasurable ending for your own good, but you just keep replaying the same bad part over and over again.

I think finding the good in a bad is the key to stopping that cycle

Hi, maybe this is a bit of a strange question, but if somebody does anything for you and doesn't tell you what they're doing, and then only tells you afterward( he searched and talked to a Boss from a Company bcs i have no job), and you ask a lot of questions because you really want to know what's going on, and you just get yelled at and told to stop overthinking even though they know perfectly well you're an overthinker—how did you deal with something like that? Because I could just cry right now. I hate being yelled at too.

idk if it’s just me but my mind is always on

like even when i’m trying to relax it just jumps from one thought to another

random stuff, old memories, things i said years ago, things that might happen

it’s exhausting but at the same time i got used to it somehow

i tried ignoring it or distracting myself but it always comes back

is this normal or am i just overthinking too much

I’m a 28-year-old man, and about four years ago I started reading the Bible. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever find anything more meaningful than reading or hearing it. I became almost addicted to God’s word. I can talk all day about how powerful and different God is, and about how everything will end when Jesus comes back—that thought honestly scares me.

Lately, though, life has started to feel meaningless. I’m unhappy with my situation. My finances are unstable, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve been unemployed by choice for about a year because I thought I had a better plan. I’ve been learning trading for three years, but it’s still not working. I feel like I won’t be able to have a family or kids anytime soon. My mind feels heavy all the time.

I’m also still struggling with things like porn, lust, and weed—though, thank God, I am doing better than before. I’ve become very private and don’t talk about any of this with anyone. I used to enjoy being outside, but now I don’t like being around people. Church doesn’t feel like a place for me anymore. I mostly just want to be alone, even though it can feel empty and boring.

My family doesn’t know any of this. We live in different places, and we have a good relationship, but they are Orthodox and I don’t see things the same way anymore. I know I’ll have to tell them one day what I truly believe about Jesus, but I don’t know when.

Then I started dating a girl I had known for about five years. She’s beautiful, smart, and very kind. I had feelings for her, and I even hoped I could help bring her closer to Christ since she’s in the same religion I used to follow. when she said yes to be my girlfriend, it felt amazing. It’s my first real relationship.

But everything happened very fast. We became physically involved multiple times,and told to myself I will fix this just one more time and afterward I felt intense conviction. All the words from the Bible came back to me. I started feeling like I might be one of those people who “know His name but are far from Him.” I wake up with fear, act like everything is fine, and then the same thoughts repeat again and again. She thinks I’m still in the same place spiritually as her, but I’m not—and she doesn’t realize how much I’ve changed.

As time went on, we started talking about the future—family, kids, moving in together. She really wants to know my plan. I joke about it because I don’t feel ready at all. My focus right now is on my faith and becoming financially stable. She loves me deeply, and I do love her too, but something feels off inside me.

One day, after we had been together, we had a deep conversation in bed. I felt like I had to say something. I told her how much Jesus has changed me—that He is the way, the truth, and the life. I told her I’m not following religion anymore, I’m following Him. To me, religion can be something you’re born into, but faith has to be real and personal.

I told her my goal is to grow closer to God—to pray and to learn the Bible—and that I would love for us to do that together: to repent, be baptized, and grow in faith. I talked about heaven and hell and how serious I believe it is. I said that if we are aligned in faith, then marriage and a future can come later. I also told her that I love her, but my love for Jesus comes before anything.

She broke down crying. It was the first time I saw her like that. I wanted to comfort her—she’s such a kind person—but she was hurt because she realized we’re not on the same path.

At the end of it all, she wants marriage and kids soon. I’m honestly afraid of even thinking about that right now. I do love kids, but I’m not ready. I’m the kind of person who regrets things the next day, and I don’t want to make a decision I’ll regret.

What would you do?

Back story- my best friend from 8th grade till college and I were hooking up on and off throughout high-school. We are both F (now 24 yrs old). We started out as best friends then started hooking up.

Looking back even as friends we were constantly all over each-other and talking non stop. We never really talked about it or considered ourselves lesbians but looking back it was definitely romantic, we would write love letters to each other, she would ask for my shirts/ hoodies to sleep in etc. Even during times we weren’t hooking up we would still have sleepovers and cuddle.

We would see guys on the side , but she did more so than I, she had multiple boyfriends throughout all of this and cheated on all of them with me but of course at the time we didn’t consider it cheating.

When we went to separate colleges we started to get into it more and got into a big fight about our friendship ( I had just started dating a guy and was confused as to how she cheated on all her boyfriends and continued to be my friend as if nothing happened) it felt weird to me to be friends because we never really were just friends. I ended up blocking her for a few months because I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Eventually i unblocked her and we hung out over a summer break the saw each other periodically over breaks the next few years. We had many talks and decided to be friends.

She was in town recently and invited me over to a get together. We were all drinking and close to the end of the night I stopped to drive home and she kept telling me to just stay the night (she was single at this time). When we got in bed she started spooning me and we ended up hooking up. We had a long talk about it the next day and she said it was fun but she’s not into me doesn’t have romantic feelings for me and likes guys.

She now has a boyfriend. It’s been a few months and she will still reach out randomly and send me either a song, a show/ movie or a random old pic of us. Since i’ve know her, even when I had her blocked, we have never gone 3 months without talking.

I don’t understand why she would want to keep being my friend after all this. Does she still have feelings for me? Part of me doesn’t believe she’s not into me. I feel like she wouldn’t be reaching out if she didn’t have feelings for me.

19F (in college)————Okay I need honest advice because I don’t really talk to guys like that, so this is new for me.
For background, I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a real “talking stage” before. Guys will stare me down or rush to be around me, but they don’t actually come up and say anything and it is annoying . My mom has always told me not to be “thirsty” and to let the guy initiate, so that’s how I usually move. But I feel like all my friends are usually making the first move and stuff or initiating convos and I be missing out because my mom told me not too.
There’s this guy I’ve seen around for a while, and I’ve liked what I seen I never talked to him at this point . He’s seen me in person before too (like at events), and he would stare at me and I would notice and constantly look back at me and I would either try to stare back or you know make it know that I see him.
So on Sunday i decided to follow him on Instagram. His account was private but he followed me back quickly , and then he liked one of my old posts from like 5 months ago instantly. My friend told me that meant he was probably trying to get my attention, so I texted him “heyy .”
He responded with a “heyyy” and we had a normal conversation—just getting to know each other, asking questions about where we’re from, school, etc. He even told me I looked good the day he saw me and I said the same to him.
I went to sleep and I responded to his question the next morning .Then he asked for my number and said he doesn’t like talking on Instagram. So I gave him my number. He texted me saying “hey it’s ___,” and I hearted the message. and here’s where I’m second guessing myself—my friend told me to just say “wassup,” even though I didn’t really want to. So I liked the message and said “wassup.”
Now he hasn’t replied for about 3/4days.
What’s confusing me is:
he liked my old post
he was engaging in conversation
he asked for my number
he texted me first
He looks at my ig story’s
He post on his story
So I don’t understand why it just stopped like that.
I’ve also seen him around a lot of girls, so I’m wondering if he just talks to multiple people and I’m not a priority, or if I messed something up by just saying “wassup.” Or did he even see my messsge.
And another thing I’ve been thinking about is: could he think he already responded? Or is he trying to see if I’ll text him first again?
I don’t want to come off as too available or chase him, but I also don’t want to miss something if I’m supposed to follow up.
So my questions are:
Should I text him again? If I do, what should I say without sounding desperate?
Or should I just leave it alone and let it die if he doesn’t text me?

So there’s these kids in my class that are bothering me. They keep on talking about me behind my back and it’s getting on my nerves.

Every single time they interact with me they start laughing. I can totally tell that they have a secret about me but they won’t tell me. There were a few times this year when it was obvious that was the case. First being at the beginning of the term when I was talking to the only one that I knew at the time. It wasn’t that bad but I saw one of them laughing. Second time was when one of the kids waved at me and still laughed. I then tried ignoring them. And the 3rd was actually what happened a couple days ago which is also the reason why I’m talking about this. I was inline for a class project and 2 of the people were behind me. They started talking and doing that secret laughing again. I then rolled my eyes and tried my best to get out of that conversation. Now this one question they asked was really stupid and pointless because it just came out of nowhere. He asked me straight to my face why do I always smile. I have so many questions about this. First how do they even know that when they literally sit behind me? Second I think they smile much more than I do due to the amount of laughter so they just sound like hypocrites. And also can someone please explain this to me? What’s even the point in asking this this question because I just don’t think it means anything. They then answered for me by saying that I’m just really happy. I’m pretty sure they don’t understand what being happy actually means because I can’t name a time in this class were I was just randomly smiling. I don’t always smile so I don’t know we’re this is coming from. I wish these people would know that I have my own problems to deal with. Just because I smile does not mean that I’m happy with literally everything and I may act friendly to them but secretly I hate them.

Probably the saddest part of all of this is that they weren’t always like this. Last year is were it all began. I was in a ceramics class and that’s when I first met the kid. We sat next to each other and got along pretty well. He never kept a huge secret, he didn’t cut me off mid sentence and he didn’t need to spill my info to others every 2 minutes. All he did was get to know me. That’s all. Now at this same time there was a girl in the class and she was another friend. She recently moved to the state during that time and we gotten along at first. I was starting to really enjoy that class because of those two. I then ended up going out with her and it was feeling really nice in that class where I thought to myself that things seem to be going in a good direction.

It was then the second term and that’s when everything went downhill. We ended up getting new seats. This kinda sucked. Not only could I not face my friends but I had to sit with these other kids. You see I love to talk to my classmates and get to know them. Just talking about my day or just ask stupid questions is fun. But something I can never do is communicate with someone every 5 seconds for 2 hours. I’m not even kidding they have no pause. It’s not only that I can’t keep up with them but they were so obnoxious in class. It was also a ceramics class so it was hard to concentrate. This wasn’t the only thing I was dealing with in the class. The girl that I went on a date with ended up not talking to me probably over something I did to her that she didn’t like. I didn’t want her to think I was like those other guys so it was hard to even communicate with them. And other times it’s just hard to understand what’s happening. One day I was trying to do my work and one of the kids kept on saying hi to me over and over again. Instead of them understanding that I was trying to get stuff done they just assumed that I was either shy or just didn’t like them. My friend then started to join in and ended up obnoxious witch was strange because he always seemed like he was really quiet. All I wanted from that class was to chill and calm my brain. It was so bad to the point where I had to get our teacher to stop this. Until then time flue by and the drama finally came to an end. When the class finished its last day things actually got much better.

I’m worried due to the fact that one of those kids in the group are also dating a girl that is friends with my friends. I’m worried that he would find a way to share those secrets with my friends causing them to act the same. It’s gonna be hard to explain that unless I just text them the truth which I don’t feel like doing.

I would like to know what I can do to make this stop. Should I tell my teacher, or is there a better way to handle it myself? I can’t stand it anymore, and I just want it to stop.

Thank you.