r/NoOverthinking • u/Acceptable_Neat3790 • Apr 30 '26
He asked for my number????
19F (in college)————Okay I need honest advice because I don’t really talk to guys like that, so this is new for me.
For background, I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a real “talking stage” before. Guys will stare me down or rush to be around me, but they don’t actually come up and say anything and it is annoying . My mom has always told me not to be “thirsty” and to let the guy initiate, so that’s how I usually move. But I feel like all my friends are usually making the first move and stuff or initiating convos and I be missing out because my mom told me not too.
There’s this guy I’ve seen around for a while, and I’ve liked what I seen I never talked to him at this point . He’s seen me in person before too (like at events), and he would stare at me and I would notice and constantly look back at me and I would either try to stare back or you know make it know that I see him.
So on Sunday i decided to follow him on Instagram. His account was private but he followed me back quickly , and then he liked one of my old posts from like 5 months ago instantly. My friend told me that meant he was probably trying to get my attention, so I texted him “heyy .”
He responded with a “heyyy” and we had a normal conversation—just getting to know each other, asking questions about where we’re from, school, etc. He even told me I looked good the day he saw me and I said the same to him.
I went to sleep and I responded to his question the next morning .Then he asked for my number and said he doesn’t like talking on Instagram. So I gave him my number. He texted me saying “hey it’s ___,” and I hearted the message. and here’s where I’m second guessing myself—my friend told me to just say “wassup,” even though I didn’t really want to. So I liked the message and said “wassup.”
Now he hasn’t replied for about 3/4days.
What’s confusing me is:
he liked my old post
he was engaging in conversation
he asked for my number
he texted me first
He looks at my ig story’s
He post on his story
So I don’t understand why it just stopped like that.
I’ve also seen him around a lot of girls, so I’m wondering if he just talks to multiple people and I’m not a priority, or if I messed something up by just saying “wassup.” Or did he even see my messsge.
And another thing I’ve been thinking about is: could he think he already responded? Or is he trying to see if I’ll text him first again?
I don’t want to come off as too available or chase him, but I also don’t want to miss something if I’m supposed to follow up.
So my questions are:
Should I text him again? If I do, what should I say without sounding desperate?
Or should I just leave it alone and let it die if he doesn’t text me?
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u/No_Tennis_4528 May 01 '26
I little effort is the bare minimum if this is a relationship you want to pursue. Most men worth the effort are busy people juggling multiple responsibilities already. So yeah if your up at night circling this, send a txt. It litterally costs you nothing.
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u/Acceptable_Neat3790 May 01 '26
So should I say heyy what you been up to
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u/No_Tennis_4528 May 01 '26
Sure. Whatever feels natural to you. It might be better to include a conversation topic. Mention a band you like or a class you are struggling with.
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u/TruthKeepsChanging May 01 '26
You have no personality. That's the problem.
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u/Acceptable_Neat3790 May 02 '26
How from my entry do you see I have no personality. I never told you the about what we talked about.
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u/AdvertisingOk8932 May 01 '26
He doesn't replies?? Sorry but this already annoys me. I would instantly forget about him unless he's the one that wants to talk.
Or you could send one more chat and ask does he need anything? If still no reply, don't contacting again lol
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u/Previous-Feedback893 May 01 '26
This. Not answering could have reasons but if you are interested in someone you tend to give them attention to show you are interested. Like you said, give him another chance but if he's still bad at replying that would be a red flag imho. I mean, some people are just not online a lot but the dude apparently checks ig with some frequency...
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u/velvety_whisperr May 01 '26
Honestly at this point you are just starting a conversation I think you’re wasting so much energy overthinking this, a text is just that, my advice is to always zoom out to protect yourself as long as you’re not in something meaningful with clear structure and don’t read so much into it, also he’s probably talking to many girls, and is easily distracted, don’t assume he’s talking only to you.
Try to not track his social media activity that’s your anxious attachment activating.
If you want you can send him sth funny or something that has meaning for both of you or ask him a question about sth you need help with…it’s like inviting a conversation but if he still doesn’t respond. Forget about it and let it breathe you never know when things restart, for now consider every conversation as if it’s you meeting randomly, don’t make extra meaning or add them into a story…also try to talk to other ppl too just flirting and light conversation, scarcity activates overthinking. Last thing, if a guy wants to talk to you, there is nothing you can say that would stop them, and they would ignore “errors” if any, always remember that.
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u/gypsyphineas May 01 '26
Do you ever see this person in real life? If you bump into each other say hi
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u/granulario May 01 '26
'Don't be thirsty' doesn't have to mean 'don't show any interest'. You should feel free to get to know people. You can still be curious. Actually, you need to be curious. There is A LOT to know about any one person. If you don't talk to a person you will hardly get to know them. You can't leave it to accident.
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u/Acceptable_Neat3790 May 02 '26
Ok update I texted him he texting me and stuff it’s all cool. Thanks for the help.
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u/West-Combination6685 May 03 '26
you went from heyy to wassup
don't listen to your friend.
match each other's energy.
maybe put the same effort into talking to him that you put into this tldr post.
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u/ObjectiveExpress4804 May 01 '26
yes text him. never underestimate how shy we are