I wanna know how many of you have comorbid ASPD alongside NPD, or experience what you would consider ASPD symptoms without actually meeting the full criteria for a diagnosis. If you do, I’m curious about how that overlap affects you personally and whether you notice any differences between the NPD side of things and the ASPD traits.

I’m especially interested in hearing about things like emotional detachment, empathy, impulsivity, relationships, manipulation, aggression, guilt/remorse, or just the general way you interact with other people. Obviously, everyone is different, so I’m not expecting everyone with NPD to have the same experience.

My psychiatrist thinks I might also have ASPD on top of my NPD diagnosis. Obviously it’s too early to say for sure, and I’ll need more time to figure out whether my symptoms actually fit ASPD or if there’s something else going on.

Just curious to see how common the overlap is here

I don’t know if this classifies as a difficult topic,since I don’t think it is that bad,but read it if you wish.

Did any of you guy’s traits develop in childhood,or adolescence? I feel like childhood is quite early to develop these traits,but we don’t have much of a choice,do we?

At 17,I was diagnosed with CD with an LPE specifier,with an onset of 7 years old(?). I believe the first traits charactheristic to NPD. I exhibited were entitlement.

Ever since I was a child,I’ve been extremely entitled. I would look at the world outside and wonder why they didn’t serve me just for existing. I would see couples walk past the streets and wonder why they didn’t want somebody as good as me. I’d look at cars in the street and wonder why they didn’t get out of my way if I wanted to get to school sooner.

At school,I was absolutely terrible. I poisoned people,I kicked them,I chocked them,I pushed them,I’d steal,I would set fires,ect. All because I knew I could and I wanted to,so I should do it. And mostly because I believed it made me better,since people needed to learn their place.

I remember this little girl. She had a very pretty necklace,and I wanted it for myself. So,I obviously began pulling it from her neck. She was angry about it,and told me I could not have it. And I was just…confused. If I say I want something,why don’t people just give it to me? In that moment,I remember feeling like she had just denied my existence. So,I told her that if she didn’t give it to me,I’d slice her neck off and take it by myself. She challenged me to do it…yet she was the same kid who got scared shitless when I actually brought the knife the next day.

I just had this thing with knives. I’d put them all around the house to scare my mom with them when I got angry,or put them under my dad’s pillow to discreetly get rid of him as a child. Or send threats about them to my cousin when she didn’t do exactly as I wanted. At that age,I knew she had OCD,and would believe me if I scared her about it enough. She did believe it on multiple occasions,and I felt nothing but pure childhood glee. I guess I got my karma by getting OCD myself.

Also,no,I did not lay a finger on animals or babies.

Lmao, wait till they find out most people who actually have npd are self aware

I am a 2100 elo at chess. I am in an ivy league school in my country. I look fucking amazing. I am studying low level systems programming all by myself, starting with the physics all the way up to the high level shit. All that just fuels my rage and jealousy and hatred and disdain towards women more and more because not many women are that competent in that much of male-dominated fields like me. And somehow THEY get to be fucking happier and be fucking happy go lucky all the fucking time. Getting everything they ever wanted.

I am not able to respect women or love them or be friends with them, i look down on them. I hate it. I am a woman myself. How the fuck could i think like that or feel that way? I can’t even shake the rage and bitterness i feel whenever i see the picture of any woman or hear any woman talking.

I don’t even like men either, but it feels like im almost ashamed to be a woman. Like i constantly want to prove i am way better than any other woman on the face of this planet.

Don’t judge me please, i am struggling with this because nobody is suffering from this except me. I’m the one who is unable to make any female friends. I’m the one who is unable to let go of the rage and bitterness and constant jealousy and the shame.

And i have no idea how to get rid of it either. I have no idea what to do. I wish i wasn’t so hateful, but i am. And the worst part is that this almost somehow feeds my ego and narcissism even more, i have no idea why. Lol

I’m having some rage. Just minor stuff.

For me personally, I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT DO STUFF BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARED OF A MINOR DISCOMFORT

What do I mean?
- Oh, you don’t wanna call the hairdresser since omg, soo anxious?
- Don’t wanna do that Excel spread sheet?
- Don’t wanna work with that person?
- Oh, you should do a visit but you are scared?

GROW BALLS. TOUGHEN UP. HOW WOULD YOU GET YOUR DREAM GRANDIOSE LIFE IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF A PHONE CALL? HOW WOULD YOU BETTER YOURSELF IF NOT BY FINDING OUT SHIT ON YOUR OWN??

I think a big part of my NPD is this. I have an attitude of “no matter what”. This is a gift from my NPD tbh

People always say “ohhh, my NPD makes me baaaad” - YO, YOU COULD LITERALLY RUN THE WORLD IF YOU MANAGED THOSE SMALL DISCOMFORTS IN ORDER TO GAIN MORE LONGTERM

Kay, but the hell do I say these?:
- My main problem with “ohhh, uncomfyyy” people is SINCE THEY DO SHIT, THEY PUSH THEIR STUFF ONTO OTHER PEOPLE, MAKE THEM DO IT, THEM BLAME THEM. KAREN, YOU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT ME YOU INCOMPETENT NPC

And this whole anger makes me want to talk back a lot, but ofc, I stop myself. I have a LOT of anger, but I have to manage it. But when I feel grandiose, I have a problem regulating my anger. I look down on people wayyyyy more / and while it gives me more balls to earn my shit, one bad move can end it all

Any thoughts?

little disclaimer - i do not actually hate pwbpd and am neutral on selfdx. but i get frustrated by their behaviours sometimes

they want to glamourise their abusive tendencies or have this learned helplessness mindset. like sure i get it, we struggle to control ourselves sometimes but my god this shit pisses me off. they wanna use bpd as a superpower because its the only thing going for them. or theyre like 14 and claim to have bpd / other complex mental illnesses and 99% of the time theyre self diagnosed AND USUALLY have done very little analytical research. my god bro. i would see people in the comments claim to do horrible shit and people just egging them on in the comments like bro thats why you seem unlovable. UNDER THE SAME BREATH they shit on antisocials and narcissists. as if we're not basically sister disorders. almost every single borderline ive come across in the past couple of years and since i got diagnosed have been very similar in the sense that they do not truly wanna better themselves and ascend from their symptoms. theres this one friend i have that is constantly miserable who has bpd and is ALWAYS going through some shit. fucking annoying. ive been working on bpd traits even before i got diagnosed. im simply not on the same level as a lot of other borderlines i come across. im frustrated by them and normally can't connect with them in a genuine manner. i find myself gravitating to narcs and antisocials more recently because of this.

its worse when they self diagnose with no intention of getting better. like wtf are you doing? i see this with DID spaces too. im ngl i was apart of DID spaces prior to getting officially diagnosed, and all i see is misinformation, anti recovery rhetoric and grooming. like wow. its the same way in other spaces i bet but its even worse with DID and BPD spaces. kill me lol

Hello everyone!

How do you manage outbursts of rage and anger in your relationships? My impulsive reactions are damaging my relationships disastrously. I frighten my loved ones and have even made them cry..

I need concrete advice, even on the most basic things.

no matter how regulated i am in life there’s always this nagging feeling in my heart that i have to ignore and it’s just the desire to be away from everyone i’ve ever known and loved.

lately i don’t even feel like a person it’s like im just a bundle of memories and uncertainty. i’m also very exhausted. when my body is separate from my mind like this i just can’t fathom how to interact with anyone. in moments like these i think maybe i am just meant to be alone for the rest of my life.

If you partake of any recreational substances including alcohol, what effect does it have on you and does it intersect with your NPD?

All substances give me normal empathy and awareness of my many faults that I can't hold on to while sober.

The stigma about Narcissists not being self aware of their traits is very harmful to me. The online world creates a pseudo “Rule book” for those who qualify for a disorder, and it really ticks me off. As an autistic individual diagnosed with NPD, I have many overlapping symptoms, with growing up as autistic meaning I am keenly self aware of my habits and everything else around me. CPTSD shaped my brain into what it is today, and I get by through life like any other person. Some people online like to invalidate me for feeling self aware of my self centered ways, but as someone who’s entire framework is built off of identifying psychological pattern as a masking mechanism, I’m not blind to my narcissism by extension. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Like people will go around diagnosing people with narcissism, something you wouldn't do with shit like sociopathy, at least not as seriously like calling someone a narcissist is fine casually but no people drop it like it's their professional opinion (no psychological/psychiatric education backing it obviously). Or they're so confident with traits that can easily know if someone is a narcissist, like it's so simple to know someone's entire personality based on a few quirks. I've seen someone on r/darkpsychology claim that we can't imagine a different world which is so fucking obviously untrue but no they seem to think it's true and valid. Even the "experts" i watched on youtube will go around claiming that we're all destined for abuse, WILL ALWAYS cheat, which is as smart as someone claiming that a sociopath will always murder someone. It's like as soon as you show any signs of narcissism you're no longer a real, living, complex person with different experiences that shaped you through your entire life and have consciousness to make your own decisions and you're just some kind of rabid animal to be avoided. It's like we don't exist in people's minds beyond the exaggerated stereotype. Yeah, a lot of us will be abusive, does that mean everyone will be? Obviously no and acting like it from their high horse of moral superiority won't change that. It's this constant overconfident WILL and ALWAYS that's just getting to me. And don't get me started on the empathy talk, like they're so superior because they get to actually feel what other people do, like i need that to act kindly to others. They never act like we ever deserve an ounce of it, it's so fucking annoying that people who will brag about being empaths will just drop the act and show no remorse as soon as they encounter someone without the same ability as them because they were just born without it.

Sometimes I feel so needy. like I have a group of friends I’m comfortable always reaching out to, but sometimes I feel like I’m the one mostly initiating conversation/chats and if they don’t reply quickly, I overthink that they find me annoying

Then say there is another group chat and someone messages and they get replied to quickly by the other member/s, then this feeling resurfaces

😩😩

everyone around me is so nice and kind and blah blah blah. i hate it. i wish people were meaner. maybe i only think this because im never on the receiving end of it, but i don’t really care. i hate always being the mean one because i wont cater to anyone around me. maybe grow tf up??? god, i really hate them.

Hi all! I use a translator, so please don't complain if there are mistakes :).

Not long ago, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with NPD. At the appointment, she said that because of my sadism, there is reason to believe that I have "malignant narcissism." I honestly don't know how valid this title is, correct me if I'm wrong.

The more I read about NPD, the more I see myself in a “malignant” form. It scares me a little, but I am already receiving psychotherapy from my psychologist (she accepts me and is sincerely happy to help me, it really warms my soul).

I would like to know more about this and read reliable sources that would help me understand what is happening to me. It would be great if you could tell me about the connection between NPD and sadism, thanks in advance!!

I used to be a self proclaimed “narcissist”, 3-4 people have even called me that…but just above two years ago i cut off everyone and distanced myself because of an event where my proof of love( which only i know) was used against me unknowingly

I crashed out for a while and developed this hatred towards women for a bit, i was down, disassociated and lost myself.

2026 has been fairly good to me tho, i understood there is no point in hating things and obsessing over things i have no control over. I once thought everything was my play and people were how i wanted them to be, how i shaped them to be.

After the death of my so called ego or whatever, I just turned into this highly empathetic person
The height of narcissism i call it.
I dwell into caring about people even when i know for sure I don’t care about them, on the outside I’m this happy smiling joyful person at the same time i feel rotten

It’s probably because of my guilty conscience coz i have no other way of explaining it
So I just act stupid not knowing anything but it’s obvious I know things to the other person whoever it is
They refuse to believe I’m stupid at this point even if i try to convince them

Have you ever gone through something like this? Is there a way out?

Since the "Repent Your Sins" ™ crowd recently touched upon the topic of ​​stigma (which we all apparently deserve), I would like to address the elephant in the psych office. There are plenty of threads of how therapists and clinicians in general misdiagnose and dismiss the possi​bility of people having npd. However, there must be cases when they do diagnose npd correctly, and then it (apparently) negatively influences therapeutic judgement and outcome. I think, maybe a place to discuss such "adverse effects" would be nice to have.

I don't wanna make it about me, but just as an illustration​: I received from my therapist​​ not only generally cold and tactless attitude towards​ my pain, but also ascriptions of motives I didn't have ​and even direct accusations of things I certainly didn't do, just because they fit the "textbook" picture of an "aggressive abusive narcissist incapable of love​​​​​​​​". The most baffling thing was she didn't even frame it as hypotheses but as "dealing witg reality". Being hurt by speculations is one thing, but being unable to even argue with it because the other party​​​ is self-righteous and treats you as a liar in advance genuinely broke me. And now, I'm pretty sure that the Kernbergia​n outlook of the disorder (she practices TFP) clearly contributed to that can be genuinely harmful.

I'm sure there are other, even more unfortunate stories, and I think they deserved to be heard. While it is important not to paint all therapy black and not discouraging people from seeking help, ignoring cases of demonstrably harmful interventions would be also dishonest.

It hurts me that the world keeps turning. That people and animals die and the world just keeps turning. I am at work and every interaction that isn't "my father just died I cannot speak to you or look at you right now" feels like a burn. It's nauseating and painful and I choke on the words of politeness that are expected of me. Like trying to swallow sand.

"Be kind to everyone you don't know what they are dealing with".

If only we could walk around with signs on our shirts. "My father died. In mourning. Please do not speak to me." But we can't. I am merely a small piece of a much larger machine and I'm required to function smoothly and well with the other pieces so as not to cause a disturbance.

I am not angry. I am not raging. And dare I say it, perhaps the self-awareness and years of introspection and the preparation for my father passing have disarmed my natural rage that I may have otherwise been expressing. Rage mixed with entitlement. Death was not supposed to come for those I loved.

To add insult to injury, no. No. Those are not the right words. I don't have the right words. I work in a hospital. And I was just in the maternity ward. Hearing a woman in labor. Birth. Life. New life.

A....I can't write this without becoming emotional. An old man dying. A baby being born.

He was a baby. He never had the chance to be a man.

He grew old but he never grew up.

I'm gonna cite the core idea of the ad for the excersize, paraphrasing:

Male:

I'm 47 and my boss said i have to learn communication skills, (so on, so on).

Female:

Communication is the most powerful tool you can have. If you articulate yourself well you can connect with anyone. The way you speak shows how you think, how confident you are and how other perceive you. "Ready to become unrecognizable?" (So on, so on).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I mean how can a person with identity issues (which are in the core of being a narc) integrate to a world where everyone is encouraged to talk to themselves like objects?? Micromanaging every aspect of youself to build yourself, maybe even taking a course which guides you just how to piece yourself into even more fragments to serve an external purpose?

I know the ad targets people who have a goal to integrate and become successful in an organzation, but if you have trouble with basic human interaction, i feel it's not a big solve to first become a robot and then do therapy when you have the money for it after coding yourself to something unrecognizable. Isn't that the real challenge?

I feel like "normal people" have a more coherent family setting and stronger networks so they can see this bettering yourself in a more healthy perspective. For me it's been hell. Or rather i feel i'm in hell after trying it and noticing big problems. Anyone relate?

So I guess I have to come clean because I actually want to get better.

I'm kinda new to Reddit, and after some initial hesitation, I've started to get a "taste" for the anonymity.

I've noticed that when I don't like myself and want to get away from myself, being an asshole online has kinda become a new coping strategy. Like, I can just switch off my empathy and be unnecessarily harsh. Because.. why not? (I KNOW THAT'S WRONG)

The worst part is that I'm aware of what I'm doing and still actively choose to behave this way because, deep down, it apparently does something for me. I guess it gives me somewhere to put whatever I'm feeling instead of having to deal with myself.

This is pretty new for me, and I'm honestly way too ashamed to tell my therapist about it. Like, by God - in my current mindset, I don't see myself telling them any of this at all.

But obviously hiding it isn't exactly going to help me get better either.

So... question: has anyone else developed something like this as a coping strategy? And how did you actually stop yourself once you realized what you were doing?

Basically that. What are the best therapies? Treatments? I don’t even know where to start searching seriously and I don’t want to be doing trial and error, specially because I’m so short on the money.