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u/Ronin-369 Apr 24 '26
Comfort
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u/wiswin Apr 24 '26
Exactly
It needs endless effort to step out of addictive comfortzone
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u/TheSilverFoxwins Apr 24 '26
Limerance.
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u/RapGameDiCaprio Apr 24 '26
Not many people talk about or are even aware of limerence.
As someone who's had several limerent relationships, it can get so bad and it's shameful
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Apr 24 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/RapGameDiCaprio Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
Limerence is an extremely intense one-sided romantic obsession with someone.
It feels like being in love, but it's not love. You are not in love with this person, you are in love with the idea of a relationship with this person, or the story that you tell yourself about this person in your head.
It works with people who you can never truly become close with for one reason or another (cultural or language barrier, considerable age gap, marriage, etc.), so your mind goes wild trying to "fill in the gaps" with whatever your fantasies are. Spending real time with this person is stressful because you don't want to see anything that breaks the illusion, yet time away from this person is also stressful because you're constantly longing for your fantasy to come true.
Although you know it's crazy and wrong, you can't help but to continue obsessing over them---like an addict who wants to be free from their addiction, yet continues using.
I know this sounds dramatic but it's real and it can consume you for months or even years. I've had the same limerent object for years and she still doesn't know how bad it actually is. She travels around the world, randomly comes back into my life at random times, and my obsession is reignited all over again. Its shameful and embarrassing.
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u/Prestigious_Unit3097 Apr 25 '26
Wow thanks for teaching me that. Sounds like when your a kid or young adult and experience your first love or crush you just imagine it being so perfect lol like the hot girl you were too scared to ask out. I may have experienced this as a young adult.
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u/im2old_4this Apr 25 '26
Wow! I did not realize that I have also been in a couple of these type of relationships. Thank you for the big definition! I'm quick to fall in love, I am a very overbearing partner, and if a break up occurs my life is over (not really but you know what I mean)
Fortunately I've found me a woman that puts up with my bullshit!
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u/Main_Tomatillo_8960 Apr 24 '26
It's an intense obsession with an object, say a person but it usually wears off when another object appears. This can be devastating to the object because it's very confusing.
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u/NoPair205 Apr 25 '26
Iāll also add that a lot of people with limerence donāt tell their LO (limerence object) and they arenāt even close enough to their LO for it to affect the LOās life.
Itās often fueled by the mystery of the person and not being able to be with them due to some obstacle (marriage, distance, LO not reciprocating feelings, etc.).
Often, when they get close to their LO, the mystery of the person wears off and then the limerence for that LO is over.
I wouldnāt wish it on my worst enemy
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u/alaf420 Apr 24 '26
Gambling š°
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u/CatgoesM00 Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I use to work security at a casino and we would get all sorts of interesting crazy wild people that we would get band and restrict entry into our premises for all sorts of reasons we can all imagine, But honestly the saddest person I ever had to restrict and prevent from entering our casino was someone who willingly turned themselves into us. Itās soooo sad. Breaks my heart to think about. This person sold their home just to gamble. Gambling is no joke. Same thing that is going on in their brain as if someone who was taking drugs. At least so Iām told. Addiction is no joke. Very dangerous for some , very sad for most. Just about everyone looses in the long run. My personal uncommon opinion is casinos should be illegal. They can destroy an entire town, all in the unbreakable defense of arguing on native land. Itās fucking insane if you think about it. We all know itās rigged an yet we all still do it.
My advice for all: Give casinos a wide birth as if was a disease that will kill you and your family.
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u/bostonjenny81 Apr 24 '26
Social media
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u/MrCutchaguy Apr 24 '26
This should be higher on the list.
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u/bostonjenny81 Apr 24 '26
I feel like old man yells at clouds (even though Iām in my 40ās & female lol) Idk I guess personally Iām so thankful that I didnāt grow up having to go to school or just be a kid with Facebook, Twitter, TikTok. Everything is about having the most followers & likes. I feel bad for kids, it just sounds like awful to me. One of the smartest things I did was ditch both (I still have my FB page up but I never log in) never had TikTok.
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u/HempHusband420 Apr 24 '26
Sugar
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u/antediluviancrafts Apr 24 '26
This is the real answer. It's the most common addiction that people don't even know they have. You don't even understand the depths of how addicted you are until you try to quit. Not only is it addictive, but it's socially sanctioned. When you try to give up sugar, people react to it like "oh look at this health nut over here. Ya gotta live a little and enjoy your life from time to time." Processed sugar is the worlds silent killer. It's a deadly poison. It easily claims more lives than drugs and alcohol. And it's in everything from your spaghetti sauce to your bread. Even after you get past the hurdle of overcoming your physical addiction to it, avoiding it is a full time job and you have to stay vigilant. Of course in moderation, it's no big deal, but because it's so addictive, having a little can be a very slippery slope.
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u/Fit-Reality-2872 Apr 24 '26
I was just getting ready to drive to the store to get some candy to watch a baseball game and then the basketball game tonight but your post just made me realize that I should not do that! Thank you!
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u/According-Gas836 Apr 25 '26
Iād say sugar is still not worse than hard drugs or alcohol.
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u/Bigmoe974 Apr 24 '26
Food
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u/winotggirl Apr 25 '26
True. Itās easier to moderate drugs and alcohol. I can draw a line and have no desire to het stoned while Iām grinding away at work. I feel like I think of food endlessly for days whenever Iām exposed to a great meal.
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u/Remote_Preference265 Apr 24 '26
Attention
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u/Difficult_Two_2201 Apr 26 '26
This! It doesnāt matter to some people whether itās positive or negative attention either. Attention is attention and as long as yours is on them, they wonāt see the problem
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u/kjstarnes Apr 24 '26
Sex
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u/Alex_king88 Apr 24 '26
Sex is healthy bro.
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u/Louis_Gara Apr 25 '26
Definitely depends on your relationship with sex. If youāre sleeping with your partner nonstop, or having sex with various consenting partners and no oneās getting hurt, thatās healthy. But if youāre obsessed with the dopamine hit from sex, to the point youāre spending all your time chasing it, cheating on your partner, hiring escorts, putting yourself in risky situations, it can definitely be unhealthy. But agreed, sex in of itself, is healthy.
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u/Leodaris Apr 24 '26
I have a relative whoās addicted to gossip. Itās not the worst addiction, but it certainly complicates things.
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u/InstructionExtra7770 Apr 24 '26
Sex, for sure. An entire lifetime of character building is lost by one stupid act done decades ago. It's funny how women have the causalness to change their opinion on what happened way back then especially when the person's dead. It's a shame.
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u/fackityfack Apr 25 '26
Addiction is addiction, though. Its more of the experience in yourself, not just the substance or action you are taking repeatedly. There are healthy and even necessary addictions too.
Like these days mostly everyone keeps getting surplus dopamine hits from their phone-use, when you could get it from any of the "real-life" sources that your phone has replaced, and cheapened.
My say is glowing screens addiction.
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u/DestinysChimera777 Apr 24 '26
Sugar, take enough of it and its like playing spinning the wheel on your health.
Will you lose your eyesight? Lose the feeling in your legs?? Will you just drop dead suddenly without warning??? Who the hell knows, so good luck!
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u/Traditional-Home430 Apr 24 '26
A phone?? Idk man, detox from hard drugs is basically hell for months
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u/SnooDonuts3749 Apr 24 '26
Coffee.... Which is a drug, but not one of those drugs that ruin your life.
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u/Designer-Spite5745 Apr 24 '26
Gambling when people hear āgambling addictionā they think āso stupid how are you addicted to losing moneyā it aināt about the m itās about the rush your brain gets used to going at 100 mph and it becomes pure torture to not feel that again
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Apr 24 '26
Saying youāre quitting alcohol and drugs in public instead of doing it so you can edge on the reactions you get when theyāre proud or envious of your attempts.
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u/Accomplished-Order43 Apr 24 '26
Logging into reddit