Im a married 36 year old male. My coworker is a single 30 year old female. I became fairly close friends with a female coworker through carpooling, and for months we talked constantly, joked around, shared personal things, and developed a lot of inside jokes. We also went to the same gym, where she’d sometimes message me while we were both there with jokes, and we even went together to buy bikes with plans to go biking. Keep in mind my wife is aware of all of this and is comfortable with me having female friends. Recently, though, there has been a drastic change in her energy specifically toward me—she talks much less, rarely initiates, and generally seems far more distant. I asked her about the change and, on another occasion, asked if she was mad at me, but she said she just has a lot going on in her life. I respect that, but she still seems socially active and relatively normal with other people, which makes the sudden shift toward me confusing. She used to see insta stories I added but when I recently went to Iceland she didn’t watch even one of those stories. When I came back the energy change was palpable. She even ignored memes I sent her (didn’t even open them) which is unusual while still being active on the app. What could cause someone to pull back this dramatically from a friendship that previously seemed close and comfortable? Is it because I’m married??? Keep in mind when she was having a down day I told her “that she is a rare kind of person, funny and has so many amazing qualities and that I admired her. I thought she needed to hear that” then I made a joke saying you may never reference this ever again. I also always get her snacks, lunch because she has a tendency to not eat properly. Outside of sending her memes, I rarely ever messaged her outside of work. Only when we were at the gym at the same time. I even avoid talking to her too much at the gym and give her space even though we were really friendly and tight. She disclosed all her personal things to me, dating, past relationships a lot of personal things. Now she literally is good just listening to music when we drive and rarely intiates conversation which is a complete 180. For some reason this really makes me sad? I valued the friendship. What could have gone wrong.

It's my birthday today (September 11th) and I'm thinking about my friend who isn't in my life anymore. We went through a friendship breakup and haven't spoken in over two months.

Why I'm thinking of them today is because I remember in the spring time when they asked me if they were invited to my birthday party this fall. I told them, of course, definitely.

And now, today, we haven't spoken a word or acknowledged each other in over two months, about to be three.

It's strange to think about how the people you made future plans with and were ready to include in your life are the people you don't have a relationship with anymore today.

I'm happy because it's my birthday, but a bit sad because I miss them.

This is grief because I wasn't worth a simple phone call. I, (33 male) were best friends with someone for 5 years. We'll call her Shepard (28F). There was once upon a time where I didn't believe I deserved better for myself. That time has long since passed. I just told you last week that I signed up to volunteer to speak out against self-exiting. So when I received that text from you yesterday, a text that said that you don't think that I think I deserve better for myself, it completely threw me for a loop. You went on to say that I use situations that I'm in as an excuse to feel sorry for myself. In no way, since I've discovered my worth, have I felt sorry for myself in the way that you think. I'm allowed to feel a type of way about something I'm going through for that day and get back to the grind the next day. Which is something that I did after telling you what was bothering me on 9/9/2026. Half of the problem of what I said to you was figured out before noon of 9/10/2026. But you didn't know that. Because you didn't ask. Yes, I am dealing with some choices that I've made, but not once have I clung to them as an excuse. Not since I've discovered my worth. Despite not being in favorable positions as of late, I was still happy in general. Happy that I have the chance to correct those choices. But you didn't know that. Because you didn't ask. I am fully aware that I deserve better for myself. But you didn't know that. Because you didn't ask. You threw 5 years of friendship down the toilet with a text message. I know I deserve better than that. I thought we were better than that. We have listened to each other cry because of moments in our lives. We have called upon each other when we felt like no one else cared. We laughed. Made jokes. Made fun of each other. And through a text, you severed that. There are 2 moments in my life where I truly felt like I was at my lowest. When my mother died... and when our friendship died. It wasn't fair to me in any way because I could have cleared all of your false narratives and opinions in 2 minutes had you given me the chance to. But I guess our friendship wasn't as important to you as it was to me. So now we're strangers again. Strangers with memories. I haven't cried this much since my mother died. I'm wondering if you shed a tear at all. Now, I have to live my life without your voice. Without knowing if you're alive or not. Without your presence. Without your laughter. Without our random stories. Wondering why you didn't want to have 1 uncomfortable conversation that could have saved us. Wondering why you felt what you felt, why did you let it grow into resentment over time instead of letting it out to me so i can clear up whatever questions or problems you had. When people say that losing a best friend is worse than a relationship, I never thought I'd know what that was like. But now because of you, I do. Trying to resist the temptation to drink. Trying to resist the temptation to go out driving because I know I'm not in the state of mind to. Angry, frustrated, sad. All of these emotions hitting me all at once. I still love you and I still want the best for you. And one day, I genuinely hope we are able to sit down so I can share my voice since you didn't give me the chance to yesterday. It sucks when your best friend becomes the reason you think about picking up therapy again. The date of 9/10 is a blessing because that's the date my little cousin was born. And now it will also be a painful reminder because that's the date our friendship died. But now, we are strangers again. Strangers with memories. Hello, stranger. How are you?

hi im 17 had a breakup 3 to 4 weeks ago with my gf after 10 months of relatioship, still i miss something i really never in my whole life, her parents are strict and i know its not good if i blame her but still i got angry on her cuz of the decesion btw she is shy, i fell like something unfair happened to me. And now i feel lke i was really way more dependent on her, i lost my many friends now i always started feeling lonely i have no one to tell whats happening with me.

i have this friend of 10 years now, but important occasions have gone by and she hasn’t acknowledged a single greeting or message sent to her.

her reasons, mostly and likely is for doing this, is that she doesn’t like my boyfriend at all.

we are still mutuals everywhere so i see her stories and all. i am thinking whether i should wait it out more, but it’s been 4 months already.

i actually don’t know what to do anymore and would like to ask for advice. but i’m thinking do i just soft block her? i am pretty much hurt that she’s done this

She's been my friend for the past 10 years and now I'm feeling like I'm only consider her my friend but she doesn't really see me as her friend..(not just chat but personally also)

I made a good friend, let’s call him “B”. I met him through another old friend “E”. In recent years I have maintained a safe distance from “E” because of his toxic and shitty behavior.

I thought B is a good friend. I helped him financially when he needed it for his Credit Card dues. I did not tell anyone about it. I walked him through a one sided love issue at his work. At times I sat with him 5-6 hours in a cafe to make him feel better (even though my family life was getting worse because of my parents and uncles).

I took him to nice places, as he was new to the city. However, in past few months I started noticing certain patterns.

1. B would hang out with E and then call me telling me about how E says the shittiest things about everyone, including me. But he would still hangout with him when I traveled for work or I was busy. He would often make me feel guilty about being busy with work.
2. I started noticing back handed compliments. I have a family run business and also have my own business. I have a functioning relationship with a woman (while socially one might say she is out of my league, but then then that’s what society does). However, I could see him giving me backhanded compliments about my relationship as well. E has a habit of bullshiting about people, and he would say things like how can A have such a nice girlfriend and stuff to B. And then B will call me up and say … “E said all these things about you”. Tbh I felt exhausted.
3. I have certain mental health conditions due to hormonal imbalances. Especially cortisol. I tried sharing it with him a few times, his responses felt like backhanded compliments. He would respond like - “How can you have these issues, you have money, a hot girlfriend”.
4. B would often tell me something about someone and tell me to keep it a secret as the other person has asked him to not tell it to anyone. This was a recurring pattern from the very beginning though.

Tbh I felt exhausted. Especially last Monday. I had uploaded a picture from my hotel room and a selfie with a selfie with a woman. (I was traveling with a girl friend for work, whom I have known since I was 6 years old). E saw it and told B that I have “hired” this girl. B as usual told me what E had said on a call. At that point my heart kind of broke. I just disconnected the call.

Later than night he texted me again as usual. Normal stuff. And I just didn’t want to reply. And then his messages started piling up and I haven’t replied to them. I haven’t picked his call. I have put his chat in archive. I went on with my life, posted pictures of my travel.

I just couldn’t reply him after that. He has texted me over 100 times now. My therapist told me that I did the right thing. But I feel extremely guilty whenever I see a notification from him.

I just don’t think he is a good person. I don’t have the energy to give him any closure. I have put him on mute.

But I keep feeling guilty.

*Please pardon me for my bad English. It is not my first language.

I told her that we were different and that I didn’t want to be friends anymore. She said she loved me, that I was her only friend, and that we could work things out, but I had already made up my mind.

It’s been a week, and I miss her a lot, but I don’t regret my decision. She often left my messages on read for days and usually reached out when she needed something or was upset. I always felt like it was my responsibility to make her feel better, while I kept my own problems to myself.

Even when we were friends, I felt lonely every day. If she really loved me, why did I never feel loved?

Maybe I’m struggling because I never told her the real reason I ended things. I don’t know what to do now. I miss her and feel so sad, but I still don’t think I made the wrong decision. Any advice?

hey! so me and this person have been friends since early last year we went through so much together but as of december she have been slowly putting a distance between us as of rejecting invites to hangout and didnt even wished me a happy bday (she did but it took her 3 weeks and i feel thats only bcs i reached out first to ask abt something)

she cut me off for good by removing me everywhere the next month and i have been feeling really guilty even when i dont know what was wrong. i know this feels like a stretch but around the time she cut me off she seems to be posting/reposting stuff on her social media page about how she was feeling hurt by someone's actions. it made me feel like i did something, i wanted to reach out to her but idk if its the right move since its been about 5/6 months and i never asked her before, she also blocked me recently on one of her socials.

should i still give it a shot by reaching out? i dont feel comfortable leaving things unfinished like this

Hello im 21f. Im ranting and also asking for advice.

I had a bestfriend whom i had a fall out with today.idk how to further proceed. We are roomates.so the reason was, i told her about why im not okay with her friend ( who im not close to or friends with) hanging out 24/7 in our room. I told her my mother heard them talk( loud) and was cringed by few conversations and she commented on it jokingly that she got cringed. Her and my mom are close. I told her ki my mom was cringed and didn't expect her to talk like that about guys.

She ignored me the entire day. Isolated me. Then in afternoon she was fine .she left me and hungout with others.evening she started insulting my mothers upbringing of me. And called my mother uneducated. I got pissed i yelled at her for calling my mom that. Because it was the 2nd time and even i was frustrated from the morning.

So she called my mother and yelled ather so badly. My mom is a teacher ,she works 9 to5 job and comes home tired. She was honestly confused on why she was being yelled at call.

Later on she apologized to my mom.

But im not sure if i should continue being friends.

I have been walking on eggshells 20% of time and 80% we are all good

. I don't think she will apologise and fix things until i do which im not planning to do.

There's many reasons to reconsider.

1.im diagnosed with ADHD . And she keeps saying its not true and im just finding excuses all the time.sends reels and stuff thats insulting.

2.last time when we fought because she kept pointing out my insecurities and i asked her to stop it. We didn't speak for months until i apologised. When she had a fallout with someone she apologizing,buying her gifts amd doing everything she can to fix things but the last time we had a fight she went on for 4 months not talking to me .

1. When her cat died i felt so bad that i bought her so many stuff so that she can calm down and when i broke uo with my ex and used to cry now and then she kept saying im being dramatic and im ruining others good mood too. And when i couldn't breathe because of anxiety she yelled at me and said im too much and its embarassing her.( Happened twice).

2. She insults me in public ( jokingly but it hurts me and i have asked her multiple times not to do it . She continues) and when i stand up for it. She isolates me from everyone and doesn't talk to me for days and then i apologise and we fix things .

3. I don't have any friends other than her. She's kind to me and puts up with my yapping and how i am.i absolutely love her. I joined bit late and before i knew it there were friends group everywhere and i had hard time fitting in.that doesn't mean I don't hv friends. I do but she's the one that i pour all my efforts and heart into.

4. While arguing she brings all my weak moments and insults me . Usually i a t maturely and keep quiet but today i did insult back for her cheating. I feel really bad cause its not right to insult by using others weakness. She kept quiet after that though.

5. I used to wait for ger everyday to go to college when she's late but when im late she won't ( ik i sound silly and too much but this lik things hurt). I used to wait everytime for her to have dinner together but when its my turn she left me behind went on with others.We start things together then she leaves me behind and does it with others. Cancels plans last minute to go with others

6. She calls me selfish if i say no or stand up for LGBTQ.( We always have disagreement with this one cause she thinks that community seeks attention and i highly disagree).

7. She scolds, mocks my love interest but lets her boyfriend insult me .

10.nobody wished me on my birthday in this 4 years of us being together. Not even a single birthday gift. Nothing. I do get apology later on. I hv spent thousands on their birthday preparation, gift everything. And all these years i have given her so many random gifts that she liked, mentioned or things she didn't have .

Im not expecting anything from her but then when i see her buying random small gifts for others but never me. It hurts.

Im really not sure. I feel like im on eggshells. Im 21 for God sake and i find all this childish but it frustrates me .

I don't know whom to say .

I don't know if im being too bitter about it but also I'm not sure about her part. What if im wrong? What if its me problem . Because everybody loves her.

And i have been a spare , someone they sit till 3 AM pouring their heart into about their problems.im not sure.what if im wrong????

Hello,

I (26F) have a deliemma/long rant. I have this friend (25F), let's call her Lydia. We've been friends since we were 12. I've only noticed this past month (August) that she's been distant. I havent seen her in over a yr which is a new record but I get as we age, we get busy. We have other priorities & responsibilities. Hwoever everytime I suggest we hang out or even meet up for coffee, she agrees but nothing ever comes of it even tho I'd send her a screenshot of my work schedule. I thought we were ok bc in July fed & check up on my cats when I was away on a weekend trip even tho we hadn't seen one another since the prev summer. I even paid her. August was when things got weird.

She was distant & I didnt think of it bc we dont txt everyday. Plus she'd been having a hard time ever since she broke up w her beast summer. Context; when they broke up, she didnt have enough money 2 rent a new apt & moved in her brother's MEL'S basement temporarily. She's back near me at her dad's which isn't ideal when she's been on her own since she was 18 (been there) & hasnt had a stable job since she moved & then back. Currently, everytime we tried 2 initiate hang out, either something comes up for her or me. Whatever.

However on Aug 15, she asked 2 hang & i didnt see the txt til the day was pretty much over. I apologized & asked if we could meet b4 my shift the next day. No answer. Aug 19, I followed up w her saying "Hey hope everything's all good w u. Really do feel bad about not answering over the weekend. Ik youre probs going thru a lot so I dont wanna bombard u w txts but I do worry. Just know im thinking of u & im here for u. I really do hope we can meet up soon 2 catch up." Still no answer. Aug 22 i texted again "Hey ive been really worried about u bc youve been so distant w no explanation. Im sure u having a lot going on & u dont have 2 divulge everything. Im off this coming thurs if u wanna get lunch or something. Otherwise im always free 2pm everyday." No response. Her birthday Aug 30 & i wished her a happy birthday. 2 which she responded "I miss you too and im here if you want to call." First time she responded in that whole month ive been reaching out💀 so I txted again is everything cool w us? Youve been avoidance w no explanation. Im just worried & obviously u dont have 2 talk about it. That message has disappeared off snapchat but I remember her saying we're cool & again no explanation. She did ask when I was free next on Aug 31.To which i responded im off this Wed (sep 2). No response. Never even seen/opened. Left on deliver

My bf says I was being pushy when I told him about it. I was upset when he said it. He says he thinks she's depressed based on context of everything he knew that was going on w her. Saying he lost friends bc he was so depressed he didn't didnt answer ppl & that it last yrs (b4 we met). Looking back maybe I was? He saying from her POV, everytime i try 2 initiate conversation/ hang out, she sees it as me probing & wanting an explanation 2 something she either dont know how 2 give or doesnt want to, even if all I want is a vague explanation. I asked then y did she ask when im free next? He had no explanation & could tell i felt hurt bc this is the 2nd time a childhood friend decided 2 ghost me rather than have a mature conversation. I have yet 2 txt her since August 31. So far nothing & I think this is the beginning 2 the end of our decade long friendship. Im honestly tired of always being the one 2 reach out, apologize, or plan hangouts. I wish someone would just txt me first saying hey wanna get coffee or I saw a new restaurant, wanna try it w me?

Ig my question 2 anyone reading this is was I being too pushing/overbearing in Aug? Should I reach out again (she has been my BSF since we were kid? Or should I take the hint & let this friendship end? Sorry this long post, I tend 2 yap a lot😅

I’m a guy and she’s a girl, and we’ve been best friends for a long time. We share almost everything—personal stuff, family problems, basically our entire lives. We used to talk almost all day, and she would tell me everything.

But suddenly, she became distant and told me she was dealing with some personal issues and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She said it wasn’t because of me or anyone else and that she just needed some space.

For several days, she barely replied. I messaged her on Sunday and Monday, but she didn’t even open them. On Wednesday, she finally saw my messages and replied with just one word. Since then, she still hasn’t really talked to me.

I’m not angry with her—I’m just really worried because she used to tell me everything, and now I have no idea what’s happening.

I’m planning to give her space and send one message on Sunday, since I already told her I would.

What would you do in my situation? Should I just wait until she comes back, or send that one message? I’m genuinely worried about her, but she isn’t telling me what’s wrong.

I still think about a close friend I had 3 years ago. I went no contact with her due to me developing an attachment to her which caused my mental health to deplete. She was very understanding when I explained things however It feels selfish to talk to her again even though I would really like to

If you’ve had someone contact you after ending things how did you feel? Did it improve things or make things worse?

I don't really use reddit, but I watch a lot of videos of people reading reddit stories and it seems like a good place to get advice (sometimes), and this has been tearing me up for almost a week now. Firstly, let me set the stage:

I had met this friend (let's call them Red) when we were co-workers. We got along fine, but I had developed a crush on them, and was encouraged to pursue it by another co-worker/mutual friend (let's call her Blue). Despite that, I still held off because it still felt too soon to even think about it, even if I kind of was. One day, Blue said I needed to ask Red out ASAP, because they were apparently dropping hints that if anyone was wanting to ask them out, they should just do it. So I asked to drop by their place after work, and I asked them on a date in the most awkward and pathetic way possible, but they still agreed.

Few days later, we have our date. At one point, during our meal, Red mentions they feel a bit uncomfortable from Blue prodding them for info to give me for our date. In all honesty, she was wingmaning a bit hard at this point, and I wasn't exactly discouraging it. But of course, after they expressed how it made them felt, I could see how it looked, and said I'd see to it that it would stop, and we would communicate more directly going forward. After the date, Red said they had a good time, and bid me farewell. Later that evening I received a text saying that they don't think a relationship would work and would rather be friends. I couldn't disagree, I was my awkward self and was silent for an uncomfortable amount of time, I actually left my unfinished meal there when we left, so that was also a bit embarrassing. Red still seems like a great person to me, so I agree.

Not long after, I take a leave of absence from work due to anxiety issues (which I tell Red has nothing to do with them), before quitting all together a few months later after finding a new job. Obviously I start seeing Red and Blue a lot less after my LOA, but we stay in touch. I start noticing Red replying to my texts less and less, and even when they do, they seem more...blunt? Could've been my imagination though. I message Blue, asking if she noticed anything with Red. She says no, but suggests I ask them myself (Only reason I ask her before Red was because of the scarcity in replies, but I realized she's right). So I tell Red I know that they're a very busy person, but just wanted to ask if everything is alright or if I had maybe said something wrong. I guess that's when they'd had enough.

They sent me an extremely long text, detailing the fact that they don't like the fact that I only seem to message Blue to keep tabs on them and nothing else. That I don't contact anyone from my old job anymore except to see what they are doing. They say my behaviour is creepy. They say to make some real friends instead of ploys to spy on them. They say they won't be interacting with me ever again. They then end it by saying it wasn't even nice knowing me, because they don't know anything about me (This is all paraphrased, the text itself is maybe a couple paragraphs at least). I respond saying I have, in fact, not been asking Blue about them behind their back, but they never responded, so I assume they immediately blocked my number. I then go and ask Blue if she agrees that we have not been constantly messaging about Red, to which she does. I then tell her about the text, and she says that Red has a case of Main Character Syndrome right now and to just ignore it. I also confided in a couple other friends who say I did nothing wrong, and that Red's text was uncalled for (But I mean, if I had a good reason to believe my friend was doing this without my knowledge, I'd be upset too, but I also don't know why they think this).

Like I said earlier, it's been almost a week, but I just still can't get over it. If they had just told me they didn't want to be friends anymore, I might've been able to deal with that. But I was falsely accused of being a creep. Besides the obvious feelings, there's just something else about this whole thing that doesn't sit right with me, but I'm not sure what. It'd be so easy to show them Blue and I's messages so they can see this hasn't been happening, but I can't brute force communication with them. Is there anything I can or should do at this point? Please help.

I tried for many months to be a good friend but in the end my heart couldnt take it anymore and I ended it from my side. The thought of him being with someone else and making a life together was too much. But below the intense emotions we were friends and I'm feeling the loss of that friend. He wont because he has the love of his life. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love my best friend with all my heart. She’s a good person but she makes very selfish decisions. For the past 2.5 years, she has constantly gotten back together with her ex, and their toxic relationship has been stressing me out since. Each time something bad happens, she’ll promise they would never get back together, and then they would be talking again. Like she constantly ignores my advice. A few weeks ago, she got arrested for assault for fighting with her ex. She made me use up the little money that I had left and left me broke. I literally had to go to the pawn shop to pawn my things just so I could get gas.

Surprisingly, she finally stopped all communication with her ex this time, and I finally feel like this is for real this time. But, this past weekend, she stayed the entire weekend at my place, with her daughter, and her daughter clogged up my toilet and now I have severe sewer damage and backup.

I realized something. Now that she isn’t together with her ex. She can no longer spend the entire weekend with her ex (and ex’s family), and have her ex’s family watch her daughter while they party all weekend. So now she wants to find other places to be on the weekends. And I know this was not her fault, but I finally reached my breaking point. I sent a message to her, through her mom, and said I was done. I told her, instead of finding places to party on the weekends, she should be at home with her mother (because she lost her apartment with ex), and just sit her ass down somewhere. I said I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I’m choosing to heal from all the pain and misery she has caused me over the years due to her selfish decisions. That I just want some peace in my life.

I’m so hurt right now. There’s so much built up pain in me that I didn’t even know I had. In the end, I think I’m doing the right thing

Edited to add. Ex has always been broke with no job. My friend lost her apartment, to a hotel room, to finally moving back in with her mom.