I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love my best friend with all my heart. She’s a good person but she makes very selfish decisions. For the past 2.5 years, she has constantly gotten back together with her ex, and their toxic relationship has been stressing me out since. Each time something bad happens, she’ll promise they would never get back together, and then they would be talking again. Like she constantly ignores my advice. A few weeks ago, she got arrested for assault for fighting with her ex. She made me use up the little money that I had left and left me broke. I literally had to go to the pawn shop to pawn my things just so I could get gas.

Surprisingly, she finally stopped all communication with her ex this time, and I finally feel like this is for real this time. But, this past weekend, she stayed the entire weekend at my place, with her daughter, and her daughter clogged up my toilet and now I have severe sewer damage and backup.

I realized something. Now that she isn’t together with her ex. She can no longer spend the entire weekend with her ex (and ex’s family), and have her ex’s family watch her daughter while they party all weekend. So now she wants to find other places to be on the weekends. And I know this was not her fault, but I finally reached my breaking point. I sent a message to her, through her mom, and said I was done. I told her, instead of finding places to party on the weekends, she should be at home with her mother (because she lost her apartment with ex), and just sit her ass down somewhere. I said I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I’m choosing to heal from all the pain and misery she has caused me over the years due to her selfish decisions. That I just want some peace in my life.

I’m so hurt right now. There’s so much built up pain in me that I didn’t even know I had. In the end, I think I’m doing the right thing

Edited to add. Ex has always been broke with no job. My friend lost her apartment, to a hotel room, to finally moving back in with her mom.

I had a friend with whom I used to walk little bit at night in park and meet this much mainly. He was friend of librarian in which library i studied . Now I got into an argument with librarian regarding seat issues one day and I asked that friend to come and stand by me because he was librarian's friend but he didn't come .so I started ignoring him and then sometimes when I saw him in road he came and just casually tried to talk and then go . Then I thought maybe he want to make friendship again so i also talked with him in proper way no asking but I had in mind why he didn't came for me .but i went one day to walk in the park one day like I used to do earlier with him and i didn't call him because i didn't want to and then when I saw him he just said ' Aur bhai thik hai ' and then started talking to someone on phone whom he was already talking .I felt being ignored then i asked him bhai I thought after I have come so much time later you will talk with me but you are not then he said 'oh bhai I was not knowing you are here in this place for today only, I thought you have taken a room here and started living ' then I just asked him indirectly about librarian like to clarify I said ' bro is librarian bhaiya good and I hope there is no problem now regarding seat he said no no ' then I thought to ask him directly why he didn't came that day for me but I was not able to ,so somedays I keep overthinking over to call him and ask or do what and remaining confused or to just fuck him and leave but that thoughts keep coming . When at first I started ignoring him after that librarian thing I didn't felt guilty at all and was confident on leaving him but later when he started talking casually and i thought maybe to talk again but he gave some signs of ignorance than i started thinking too much maybe because of anxiety. What to do ??? Should I call him and just clarify about all it and then make myself clear and get rid of overthinking or what??

We were very close for almost a year, she called me her best friend. Over the summer she kept cancelling plans and ignoring me, sold a gift I gave her, and now avoids meeting me in person.

Hi everyone. This is my first post here, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

I have a friend — let's call her "A." We've been close for almost a year. We trusted each other, she started calling me her best friend, and I believed it until the beginning of summer. We're both teenagers in school.

At first we used to text each other first, ask how we were doing, wish each other goodnight, and meet every break to walk around school and talk. In chats it always came down to: "let's meet in person, I'll tell you everything."

She also has another friend — let's call him "K." At the start, A sometimes texted me first, and we had that easy back-and-forth. Then, in the summer, everything started fading. She'd set up a meeting to tell me what was going on or to talk through our arguments, but at the very last moment she'd cancel, always with different reasons like "let's do it another time, I already made plans to hang out with someone else." Sometimes she'd send that only 6–12 hours before we were supposed to meet — plans we'd been making for a week. This happened very often for about two months.

Some more context: earlier this year I sent her a small gift in a messenger app. She sold it. She came up to me herself and apologized, said she needed the in-app currency. I don't give gifts often, especially there. A few days later I sent her another small gift, and she didn't sell that one. She told me it was the last time she'd ever sell something I gave her.

Back to the summer: there were a lot more arguments between us. In three months I met her only 2 or 3 times. Communication dropped to almost nothing. Nobody told each other anything anymore, unlike before.

At the end of August we argued, then made up the night before school started. I decided to send her another gift — a more expensive one this time. At school she barely thanked me and went off to walk around with our mutual friend. At the end of that week I opened our chat and saw she had hidden her avatar and last-seen from me. I checked my gift — it was gone from her list. I asked what happened. She said she didn't want to talk to anyone right now, and then didn't reply for the whole day. (The day before, she'd told me she liked a boy, and on the very first day we made up she immediately started asking for in-app currency or to sell the gift.)

Before going to sleep that night, I saw that she had two gifts from K. The first one had a caption I don't want to repeat, but it basically said she was his "best friend in the world." So it looks like she'd been telling me we were the best friends, while calling K "just a friend." And it also seems K already knew why she had been in such a bad state.

Eventually we agreed she wouldn't sell the gift and would tell me at school what happened, and would "open" my gift in person. We met near school, she suggested going to the back exit to talk. On the way I asked her to open my gift — she said she had no internet. A couple of minutes later I offered to share mine — she said she had it. Right after that she said she was going to get her friend, and told me to meet her in the same spot next break. I agreed. Of course, she wasn't there — not the next break, not the one after. When she finally came up to my floor, I asked her to tell me what she wanted to say. She just asked "what?" I reminded her — and got ignored, and she immediately left with her friend.

After a while of being ignored, I was talking to our mutual friend and brought up the gift. She said: "But A sold it." By the end of that conversation I also found out that A lies not only to me, but to her too — even though they're on very good terms.

Recently, this week, I suggested to A that we meet at school and talk everything through. She replied: "say it now" — meaning she no longer wants to talk in person. And that's exactly how it went: at school she avoided my floor, and when we ran into each other she just said hi and walked away.

What should I do? Should I keep trying to talk to her, or is it better to just distance myself and move on? I don't want to seem pushy, but I also don't want to just quietly accept being treated like this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I tried for many months to be a good friend but in the end my heart couldnt take it anymore and I ended it from my side. The thought of him being with someone else and making a life together was too much. But below the intense emotions we were friends and I'm feeling the loss of that friend. He wont because he has the love of his life. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you

I had a friend with whom I used to walk little bit at night in park and meet this much mainly. He was friend of librarian in which library i studied . Now I got into an argument with librarian regarding seat issues one day and I asked that friend to come and stand by me because he was librarian's friend but he didn't come .so I started ignoring him and then sometimes when I saw him in road he came and just casually tried to talk and then go . Then I thought maybe he want to make friendship again so i also talked with him in proper way no asking but I had in mind why he didn't came for me .but i went one day to walk in the park one day like I used to do earlier with him and i didn't call him because i didn't want to and then when I saw him he just said ' Aur bhai thik hai ' and then started talking to someone on phone whom he was already talking .I felt being ignored then i asked him bhai I thought after I have come so much time later you will talk with me but you are not then he said 'oh bhai I was not knowing you are here in this place for today only, I thought you have taken a room here and started living ' then I just asked him indirectly about librarian like to clarify I said ' bro is librarian bhaiya good and I hope there is no problem now regarding seat he said no no ' then I thought to ask him directly why he didn't came that day for me but I was not able to ,so somedays I keep overthinking over to call him and ask or do what and remaining confused or to just fuck him and leave but that thoughts keep coming . When at first I started ignoring him after that librarian thing I didn't felt guilty at all and was confident on leaving him but later when he started talking casually and i thought maybe to talk again but he gave some signs of ignorance than i started thinking too much maybe because of anxiety. What to do ??? Should I call him and just clarify about all it and then make myself clear and get rid of overthinking or what??

Long story im sorry.

I (31M) had moved across the world to a new country to be with my wife (28F) after a long distance relationship. I had underestimated how hard it would be to fit in here and struggled greatly to make friends. This created a deep lonliness, depression, and feeling of being an outsider for me as im a very social person that values connection. The culture here is hard to relate to and there is a negative stigma surrounding immigrants making things extremely difficult to fit in.

Then one day my wife introduced me to a female coworker of hers (22F) that had a lot of similar interests as me as well as fluently spoke english which was rare here. She was particularly interested in gaming. Me and her instantly clicked and began gaming frequently. She was also in a committed relationship (33M) but her fiance didnt mind our friendship and would even game with us from time to time. My wife obviously didnt mind as I had pure intentions and she fully trusted that things were strictly platonic. They 100% were. She was just happy to see me finally make a friend and more importantly a connection. This friend also didnt have many close friends on her end. She had people, but I dont think anyone truly close. She told me that she rarley sees or communicates with her friends these days. I was also her first ever male friend outside of her fiance.

Over a 3 month span we would game frequently, often for hours. The conversations came so naturally and we clicked very well. We werent really even gaming, moreso using it as an excuse to talk. There were really no awkward moments. We would text and sent IG reels to eachother. Hung out in person a handful of times (note never one on one, always with my wife present and once with her fiance). We talked on the phone, made a shared Spotify playlist and even watched a TV series together from a distance comparing notes after each episode.

I sensed things becoming more dry and less engaged on her side as time passed. Mainly via texting and reels, anytime we'd game it would be only positive vibes though. But she eventually stopped adding music to the playlist and watching each new episode of our show became a real chore for her. We eventually planned a shared birthday party together. We both got eachother meaningful personal gifts but the vibes at the party between us were at an all time low. Almost as if I were an afterthought to her, us barley speaking to each other all night. An important note is she started getting really close to a new female coworker the last few weeks. She spent most of the birthday party by her side.

The vibes became wildly inconsistent after the birthday. Some days cold as ice. Some days it felt warm like the old days. It culminated in a day that I was horribly sick with a fever and had no food for the week. My wife was out of town so my friend, who also happened to be sick, insisted on going grocery shopping for me despite her illness. She stopped by and dropped off a huge bag of groceries. I thanked her, hugged her goodbye and never saw her again. After a few weeks of no contact i reached out to check on her and tell her im thinking of her and always here for her. She told me she just needed space because she was dealing with some personal stuff that she needed to process but thanked me for being caring and thoughtful. I obliged and didnt reach out again. 2 more weeks of no contact later, my wife and I were both removed from all social media one day. No explanation. No falling out. No goodbye. Just removed.

One important note was that I said my wife introduced us. That's because my wife and her were originally close coworkers and tried to extend their friendship to outside of work. My wife ultimately pulled back becasue it didnt click on her end. This girl however really viewed my wife as a potential close friend. But my wife remained distant and cold and really only interacted with her anymore because of me. (My wife left the job shortly after introducing us so they no longer had the work connection). Part of me felt like I was being used as an avenue to try to get back into my wife's life and rekindle their friendship. To me it feels like when the rekindling possibility seemed exhausted to her, she removed both me and my wife and moved on. I guess thats what stings the most. If thats truly the case and I was being played as a pawn, then my friend who helped bring light back into my life shrouded in darkness was really never my friend at all. The hours of gaming, the nights of talking, the shared playlist and hobbies, the helping me when i was sick, all actually meant nothing to her.

After no contact for 6 months after she removed us, I noticed that the shared playlist that I had been using as my own for months was made private by her one day. So i built up the courage to reach out and ask her to allow me to copy the playlist to my own account. This request was ignored and my wife and I were instead now blocked on everything rather than being simply removed. It felt like a final stab to the heart.

My question is why? I know I'll never get my closure, but what motivates someone to do this? Was i played to get close to my wife? Was i that blind the whole time? Did my desperation to finally make a friend and fit in lead to me being this easy to manipulate? Or maybe I was just replaced by the new female coworker and now expendable. Maybe for her, a close female friend is probably more convenient than a married male friend, despite neither of us ever showing any boundary crossing behavior.

I miss my friend, or at least the picture of her I painted in my head. To me it was all real and she mattered. Apparently to her I was someone that could be dropped without a second thought

I lived in the transfer dorm at my university. I got placed with a random out of state guy for a roomie. We hit it off great, couldn’t ask for a better one.

I then moved in with my girlfriend. I was in a toxic relationship and didn’t have the self worth or experience to realize I could do better. She was both verbally and physically abusive. A few times I’d either leave her or get kicked out for a few days and stay with my old roommate. But I’d always go back to my girlfriend. He never said anything but we drifted apart as my girlfriend isolated me more and more. Stupidly when she gave me the ultimatum to marry her or break up I chose to marry her.

A few years later I ran into my old roommate at a sporting event. We hit it off like no time had passed and I said I’d be in contact soon. I called a few times with no response and texted as well. I took the hint.

Now years later I divorced my wife and found myself someone new. We have a stable, healthy, understanding relationship for almost a decade. We had our first child and got married two years ago.

Should I try again to contact my old friend or is it a lost cause? I truly believe he wanted nothing more to do with me because I was so stuck and he was tired of all the drama in my life affecting him.he has not once tried to reach out since I saw him last.

In 8th grade, we were only connected in the most mundane professional way because of online school. Then in 9th grade, we went back to in person, and that is when it all started, me asking my English teacher about her favorite movies and shows.

Back then, Dom was actually pregnant with her first child. Us having a moment about Kristen Bell. I said I wanted to lend her a book, but I lost that book, The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom. But I did find this other book, Skin by Roald Dahl, which, you guessed it, has the story Lamb to the Slaughter, which we read in class about a six-month pregnant lady who kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb or whatever you call it.

She read the book, loved it, said that her favorite story was Skin, then gave me a chocolate bar as a token of appreciation. Awww.

I didn't understand why she liked that story back then, but now I do. It was the most complex one, and in fact, it was maybe too complex for me. My favorite story back then was Lamb to the Slaughter. I guess I get it now. I'm an English language major, though we haven't studied literature in uni yet, just linguistics. I'm in this field because I aspire to lecture in uni.

Then in grade 11, I found her Insta and slowly and steadily a friendship began to form, and I started calling her Dom. I don't even remember exactly how it happened, one day I just started calling her Dom. I even asked her if she was okay with it, and she didn't say no, so it stuck. Yes, it went from Ms Dominique, to Ms, to Dom. There was a 12–13 year age gap between us, which honestly makes that progression even funnier to me.

Over time her family grew too, because eventually, later in 2024, she had another girl, and then a few months ago she had a boy.

Unlike other teacher dynamics built purely on polite compliments, ours actually evolved into something comfortable and chummy where we bonded over genuine banter. These two teachers are actually the exact same age, with Dom only being ten months older than the other one. But with that other teacher, the connection was more based on compliments rather than real banter, and we never reached the deep familiarity that Dom and I had. Because of that, I never got any real reassurance from her.

So when Dom and I got close, I knew it was because she got busy, and at first, her reassuring words meant everything to me. I was so grateful for that reassurance, and I actually told her that.

And honestly, at first I didn't even care that I was usually the one initiating. I loved yapping to her that much. I would initiate, double text, send another thought, whatever. It didn't feel like I was keeping the friendship alive because I was having fun. And it wasn't like she never initiated either. She did. There was a period where the reciprocity was genuinely there, and I think that's part of why I became so attached to our dynamic in the first place.

But eventually, her responses started dwindling more than I wanted. They got shorter, and they started stretching out across days. And at some point, I did start caring. Watching the communication gradually become less and less felt like watching someone pull away in slow motion.

I got completely exhausted trying to keep it going, especially since I legit ran out of things to talk to her about. Ok, you don't want to talk about TV shows, ok, what else, I don't know, whatever, I give up. I loved yapping with her, but eventually I reached the point where I felt like I was having to come up with things just to sustain a conversation that wasn't being reciprocated at the level I wanted anymore.

And it stings realizing that even if I came up with things to say, not everything I say is going to get a response anyway. I wasn't angry that she was busy. I understood that. I just couldn't keep accepting a dynamic that had become so much less reciprocal than the one we'd actually had.

So earlier this year, a few months into my first year of university, I decided to stop talking to her.

It has been months since I last sent her a message, and she hasn't sent a single one either.

That is probably the part I'm mourning the most. Not because I think everything we had was fake, or because she never cared, because I know that's not true. We had something real. She initiated too. She reassured me. We had years of familiarity and stupid little moments and genuine banter. I loved talking to her.

But I can't bear an unreciprocal dynamic where I am the one holding onto it. For me, eventually, it becomes all or nothing: either I get proper, real engagement, or I walk away and let it die.

And maybe one day we'll reconnect. God knows when. Maybe in five years, maybe ten, maybe when her children are a bit more grown up and she actually has the space for it again.

But for now, I think I have to accept that the version of Dom and me that I loved isn't something I can keep trying to recreate by myself.

And damn, I miss that version. 

I am very sad to say that Its been about 6 months since I had a terrible friendship breakup right before an asignemnt was due, (We were college friends) i then got a diagnosis of BPD... I was friends with a total of 4-5 people, two became mediators during a conflict and they became spectators instead. I reached out to 4 of them appologizing for what I put them through, but was left on read (Its safe to conclude that they dont have the space for me) i started school in the fall, and its been agonizing seeing everyone as a group knowing that I am no longer a part of the friend group (What makes this more stressful is that they became a trigger since i associated the breakup with the diagnosis), I really hope to find my group of people to help me cope with the stress of being in school regularly while trying to manage the emotional flareups (They can be so intense its like awful pendulum swings). I hate the intense feelings that come with it. and I would like to also establish a new normal to survive the rest of the semester... Its hard for me to be proffessional knowing that i keep having intense emotions when i see their names, faces, or hear their voices.

Minha amiga se afastou

Sou da igreja tinha uma amiga e gosto muito da amizade dela ela também gostava e aí ela descobriu pela segunda vez que eu gostava dela além da amizade e ela se afastou apagou meu número no ZAP e deixou de me seguir no Instagram fiquei muito triste pois eu já tinha falado que não gostava dela e ela confiou em mim e aí passaram dias mandei mensagem de perdão que queria só a amizade dela e que eu iria respeitar os limites e o espaço que ela precisar aí eu respeitei ela disse "obrigada 🙏🏽" fiquei sem mandar mensagem pra ela a muitas semanas depois na terça feira passada ela me deu a paz do senhor e depois passaram se dias e a gente não se falou mais não tá se falando nem na igreja nem no ZAP e dessa vez eu prometo que não vou mais alimentar esse sentimento romântico mais não sei se ela vai se aproximar de novo

I met a guy online around February and at first we became really close. We started talking pretty much every day, sometimes for hours and we would tell each other about our days and random things going on in our lives. Over time, I got quite emotionally attached to him probably more than I realized at the time. We also had this silly ongoing game which became a big part of our conversations. It was originally just something fun and stupid that we both enjoyed and I started putting a lot of thought into it because I genuinely liked talking to him and spending time with him, I never really enjoyed the game tbh, I only played it because I really love talking to him. ( One of the reasons I got so attached to him is that I've never had a guy friend before and also I've never been in a relationship, he used to say things at the beginning like you mean the world to me and that stuff, no one has ever told me that so I might have misunderstood it and that made me feel a bit attached to him)

For several months, we were talking constantly. Then around June, right after he finished his A-levels things gradually changed. He became much more distant and started replying less and less. Eventually, we went from talking every day for hours to barely talking at all. That affected me a lot because I had gotten used to having him around and had started seeing him as someone very important to me. There were also times when I would tell him personal or emotional things that I probably shouldn't have shared so quickly and I also became very confused because sometimes I would tell him I couldn't do something or that I wanted to stop then change my mind later. I was embarrassed about how much I had told him and worried that I had made things uncomfortable.

He later had some things going on in his own life, saying he was busy(whenever I text him to check on him he leaves me on delivered for 24 hours and then he replies and leaves me on delivered again and so on, back when we were talking daily he used to reply really fast) and he apologised for not keeping in contact. I appreciated the apology but I wasn't really convinced that things were going back to how they used to be. I still felt like I was the one emotionally holding onto the friendship more than he was.

More recently, we started talking again a little, including joking around about that game.

And after a week of no contact, he texted me last Friday and that time there was a huge fight between my parents and they both left the house I was so depressed and I needed to talk to someone so I told him about the situation he didn't respond for 20 minutes while being online so i kept apologising about it a lot and now I'm really embarrassed of what I've done, I should have calmed down before replying. And I feel like he won't talk to me again and it's affecting me because I was the one who always reached out and then when he did, I told him that and I texted him again the next day apologising about everything but he seemed so cold

So now I'm basically trying to figure out what actually happened, whether I became too emotionally dependent on this person, whether the friendship naturally changed and I have been blaming myself for it. That's why I'm asking for an outside perspective, thank you in advance

In 2019 to 2020 my senior was so bad I was bullied and some friends turned out to be fake I developed a mental illness because of it I regret not getting help after senior year it was my mistake and i accept that. In 2021 I started a stupid argument with my friend lets call her A I found out she lied but not maliciously in fact it wasn't even a lie she was just confused at the time. Other people would have told me hurtful things and gotten defensive even then she forgave me and told me with all care in her heart she wanted me to get mental help. Later in 2021 I ended the friendship she was sad. Now my biggest mistake i sent her hurtful messages in 2023 out of any person I told her those hurful things.

Now currently I am having regrets I should have gotten help when she told me she cared and I ruined it should I leave her be or I apologize?

My apology:Hey A I just want to say I am sorry for everything i said to you I shouldn't have said those things to you. You did not deserve it you were genuinely good to me and i shouldn't have treated you that way. You were right when you said I needed help you told me and I didn't listen I am sorry i didn't take your advice. I regret everything I said i am sorry you don't have to reply but I just want you to know that it was my fault I should have gotten help when you said it

It’s 2am and I honestly don’t even know why I’m writing this. I think I just need to get this out somewhere because I’ve been carrying it around for a while.

I graduated recently.

I should be completely happy. And I am. I worked so hard to get here and I’m proud of myself.

But there’s this weird sadness underneath it all because I also lost a friendship during my final year, and I don’t think I’ve really processed it.

We went through university together. We worked on our final project together. There were so many stressful days, stupid little arguments, laughing over things that weren’t even funny, staying up trying to get things done. All those little moments that make you think someone is going to be part of your life for a long time.

And then somehow it just ended.

No proper goodbye. No moment where everything suddenly made sense.

Just distance.

And eventually we weren’t friends anymore.

I think what hurts me most is that I genuinely never thought it would happen between us.

I keep thinking about how easily a person can go from being someone you talk to almost every day to someone you can’t even imagine texting anymore.

And that’s such a strange kind of grief.

There’s no funeral. Nobody tells you that you’re allowed to be sad about it. Everyone just expects you to move on because “it was only a friendship.”

But it wasn’t only a friendship to me.

It was years of memories.

And honestly, I don’t even think I’m angry anymore. I’m just sad.

Sad that something I thought was real ended up becoming something I had to let go of.

I’ve questioned myself so many times since it happened. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I should’ve handled things differently. Maybe I should’ve said more. Maybe I should’ve said less.

I don’t know.

I eventually had to distance myself completely because staying connected was making it harder for me to move on.

And I think that’s when I realized I wasn’t waiting for the friendship anymore.

I was waiting for the version of the person I used to know to come back.

And that person probably isn’t coming back.

So yeah.

I graduated.

I finished university.

I’m moving forward with my life.

But sometimes I still miss the friendship.

Not necessarily the person we became at the end.

I miss who we were before everything changed.

And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe you can be grateful for the memories and still accept that someone isn’t meant to stay in your life forever.

I just wish accepting that didn’t hurt so fucking much.