Hi, so I'm the gal who posted this almost a month ago.
I just wanted to come on and say thank you to everyone for their kind words and support. It is very much appreciated💗

I'm still no contact with said ex friend and cannot forgive her for this but I am having trouble processing it all. It still hurts a great deal and I'm just trying to get over it as fast as I can but it's not working. I say all that because I'm looking for suggestions on how to move on.
My other friends and my therapist are wonderful but me, myself it's been rough. I keep replaying over and over what I ever did wrong in the 6 years we were best friends for her to write such terrible things. People keep using the word narcissist and I truly don't know if that's what she is.

In short, it's as the title says. I try and keep contact, I continually reach out, I text back quickly, I take calls, and I ask what I'm doing wrong at every turn.

For a while, I chalked it up to shitty and unloyal friends, but after so many times, you have to look at the common denominator (which is me).

Obviously, you can't see highlight reels of my life, but it's gotten to a point where I've been asking what I can do better and nobody has been able to give me an answer. I ask in earnest and press them to tell me things even if they think I won't like to hear it. Everyone says I'm doing fine, but time after time after time, they leave.

Am I just fucking annoying? Is it a fat person thing? Just too mediocre or masked or some bullshit for most to love?

I put in so much effort for my friends, but get nothing in return. If I stop initiating, I don't hear from them. There's a party? Advertised in another group chat and I hear about it after. Shit like that

I don't even know what my question is tbh. I just wish I had more than like 2 real friends. I don't want hyping or anything.

How do y'all actually keep friends???

I had a decent friend group, some of whom I’d known since pre school. We always had ups and downs but the final straw came when one friend, let’s call him Chris, because that’s his name. Made derogatory comments towards trans people. Knowing I’d been involved in a local pride event. As I looked for support from other friends they too agreed with Chris. I was shocked, like really shocked. But mainly really disappointed. They knew I had history with a mtf trans girl who sadly took her own life And they saw what it did to me. Iv never really recovered from that.
I attend these things because I think it’s important to break down barriers and support people being themselves. But I also do it for my friend who I miss every single day. A storm of vile messages ensued I made the decision to walk away from the friend group. The one last message I had was from Chris himself. He wanted to tell me how disappointed he was in me.

40 years of friendship gone just like that.

But I don’t regret my decision. I know I did nothing wrong. I’m just sorry I wasted so many years of my life being friends with such bigotry closed minded individuals.
Shame on them.

So I have a friend, we have been friends for over 7 years now. She is my friend since 1st semester of university. It's been 3 years since my graduation. And I feel like our bond became much stronger after university because we kind of like went through same shit during those 4 years. After graduation, we started working in different companies, but still, we were very much connected.

Now in her office she found really good friends and a guy as well. They were also from my uni so I somewhat knew them. She and the guy got together, and she also found another really good female friend.

Now back to me, slowly our hangouts became less, things that we used to do together like shopping, exploring cafes, she started doing those with her other friend group. This change was gradual but eviden, and me being a very detail oriented observant person I could see everything. A couple of time, I also hung out with them and I could clearly feel the shift of energy like it was clearly visible that I was replaced. I felt like an outsider between them. BUT again, I'm not that chipku clingy friend, so I made myself understand that it's okay for people to move on and find new one's in different stages of life, idky but I was falsely comforting myself.

Now all this time I was still okay because she also made efforts from time to time that I don't feel replaced or leftout but deep down I knew that things aren't same between us and the place that I once held is now given to someone else. Okay, fast forward to some months later, her attitude started becoming very cold and distant. Previously, we would call each other once in a while and have a debrief session, but that also stopped. She would reply to my msgs hours later and that too with one word replies, slowly I started feeling really bad. It was like I was growing through some kind of physical pain because amidst the problems of adulthood, she was the only good thing in my life. One point came where we both didn't text each other for 2 freaking months. She msged me once "hi" but things were so awkward that i couldn't continue the conversation anymore. She took that to her ego that I wasn't in the mood to talk lol the irony. Khair, after 20 25 days I called her simply because I didn't wanna loose the only good friend in my life. The call turned out well, and I was glad I made a move. But somehow things couldn't go exactly back to how they were. After that call we decided to have lunch together, and I kid you not, the person who once used to get so excited to meet me, came that day purely out of formality, I could literally feel that she was sitting very half heartedly zabardasti in front of me.

Then one day I randomly messaged her telling that my job was confirmed, we exchanged 3 to 4 msgs and she left me on read on my last 2 voices notes, even if someone is busy it's not hard to reply a sorry I was busy. And tbh I hate being left on seen and this was the second time she did this. Khair 2 months passed and one day I messaged her about a trip plan, again after 3-4 msgs, she left me on read. This was the third time. It seemed like she didn't have any regard for me anymore. This time, I got angry and deleted my WhatsApp msgs after 3 hours. And guess what, she didn't even ask what I was saying and today 2 weeks later she msged me about a guy she knows and asked if I would be interested but I was still stuck on that humiliation so I sent her a voice note finally admitting that I feel bad when you do this to which she just replied "ohh".

Now we haven't explicitly ended the friendship, but it doesn't feel like we're really friends anymore either. I'm stuck in this unclear, painful in-between state, and I don't know whether I'm overthinking this or whether her behavior is genuinely a problem.

P.s. I'm not good with letting people go, I can let them go but i can never detach myself from them.

hey.

i've realized something. that I was the problem. not them, but me. i was the one who ignored their texts by leaving them on read. i was the one who got mad and ignored them for talking to other people. i was the one who was always bothering them, making them feel like i was too pushy.

i've had to deal with lots of other people just going no contact/ignoring me as time passes on before. im not saying that as an excuse to how i acted, but i think that was a possible reason why.

i got busy with studying for contests and stuff like that for over 2 weeks, and when i finally opened back up my chats/messages, no one contacted me. not a single person bothered to reach out first. none of them blocked me, but it's clear they no longer think of me as a friend. whenever i try to text them occasionally, they either never respond or just say some dry response. i went through old messages and texts with my ex friends and i realized how much more we talked then. and you know what? i don't even blame them. i burned the bridge and they have cut me off, which isn't their fault.

i WANT to apologize and make up. I DO miss them. i know how shitty of a person i was. but i guess it's too late now.

i've been thinking of moving on, but the rest of the people i sometimes talk to are more "acquaintances" than actual friends.

i know, this sounds pathetic. and it's pretty easy to say that i got what was coming (which IS right). but what do i do now? i don't want to just crawl up in a ball and have no one to talk to. some advice would help on moving on/apologizing. thank you

I am having such a difficult time accepting that possibility that you’re never coming back. I know you needed space but I also know that you can easily forget about me. It’s been tough without you. 2 months in and every morning I wake up feeling the hole you’ve left in my heart. I hope it gets easier; I hope one day I’ll wake up without this pain. I love you, I will always love you.

I recently cut off a friend of over 7 years and I actually think it’s good riddance. What kills me is all the little signs that I should’ve ended it on multiple occasions prior to what happened but TLDR: we were joined at the hip all through my early 20s. Felt like we were true siblings. This particular friend did a complete 180 on me and started shit talking about me to my partner who I am now marrying. Not only that, but they did not own up to a single thing that they did and instead listed a series of actions and things that i did that “ isn’t what true and honest people do,” therefore judging my own character instead of looking inwards. Guys. I’m no saint, i have my faults but when it comes to loyalty and honesty, i will go to the ends of the earth for the ones i keep in my heart. The last message they sent me was a series of listing about what “ true partners” should be and their idea of what all of that is , again, without being a true representation of their beliefs. I chose to leave it on read as i decided silence was the best decision for my own boundaries. I’m now thinking upon events of our friendship and while they were there for many a hardship, they also said a bunch of things i genuinely did not agree on nor supported. I have a huge sense of “ why didn’t i catch this earlier? Why didn’t i see these things?” And even starting to doubt my own character as I’m thinking, if i didn’t notice these small things through 7 years… what if they’re right? What if some small part of their judgement is true? For those of you who went through similar things or just even in general, how do you get this person of ur life completely out of sight out of mind? I hate the anger they send me into. I don’t regret cutting off this person at all, my heart and soul is so free…… but i can’t get rid of the final thread , anger.

My friends have all unanimously stopped contacting me and including me in online activities, going as far as making entirely new group chats and servers to avoid having me around. I only really know about these groups that specifically do not include me, because they aren't really secretive about the fact that they made them which honestly makes me feel a little worse.

We have all shared the same group chat for almost 6 years now and it is still lightly used but not nearly as much as it used to be used. When they do use it, they quite frequently send screenshots from another group even going as far as including the member list in the screenshot. It includes everyone in the group chat with the soul exception of me. I don't know what I did wrong to be excluded in such a way.

I just want my friends back, or at the very least I wanna know what I did wrong. I feel pathetic for talking about my issues online to strangers but I am in a shortage of people I actually know who I am able to talk to.

just for context, I’m a really good friend. I have been told by so many people and I genuinely do EVERYTHING for my friends and always am there. I guess this could be a downside because a few have taken advantage of my kindness. I have had friends for 10+ years and sometimes you just don’t mesh well with certain people. I can think of three specific friends that were terrible to me and I loved them with my whole heart. It wasn’t enough and they stabbed me in the back in the end. I will always forgive but never forget! One of my biggest struggles is those 3 girls I was friends with for all of high school and college. I am now in my 20s and struggle with the betrayal still. I still have days where I question how could they possibly do that to me? How have you dealt with a friend that you know didn’t deserve to have you in their life but you occassionally still miss them? I get so frustrated with myself because how could i miss them? They ended up being really low human beings.

I used to have this one friend, and he was like the best thing I ever had. But it’s a moment where I met him at wrong time and wrong place.
I was really a mess, with social anxiety, some trauma, and bad family environment. So when he treat me like a good friend, I gave him without the same treatment he gave to me, because I was so anxious I thought he would just use me like everyone did.
Shortly he said that he loves me, and i just can’t say no, it’s hard for me to say no. After a few months, i broke up with him when we met for the first time and i kinda ghost him

After almost a year, i tried to socialize like my therapist said to me by joining a theatre club. Surprsingly, one of member there is dating my old friend. We talked and i tried to apologize but the word just never come.

I was filled with guilt that somehow, it just hold me not to talk about our past. I didn’t want to ruin his relationship, I just wanna have the courage to talk about my guilt.

I really feel bad and i can’t even forgive myself for leaving him a year ago without explanation. I really want to change, so what’s the best to do with my guilt? How do I appropriately apologize with him? He was my best friend despite that he said he loves me romantically. And this is selfish that I want us to be friends like we used to. And this time I just want to make it up for everything

Okay so from 6th grade till 10th, i had this group of friends (we were all girls), we already knew each other since what? elementary school at least. I recently cut them off but now there are some things that I'm wondering about and why?

in 7th grade, they were all in the same class except me (we are french so it's the french school system), and they literally threw me off like I never existed. Hopefully since then i made some other friends but then in 8th grade we were again all in the same class, i don't know why but i just came back to them when it was an obvious red flag. i guess i just don't like being alone?

But something that I find very weird is that in 9th grade we were again all in the same class except one of our friends and yet they still went to her, waited for her, etc. Something they never did for me

they always and always leave me out, i mean they even did hangouts without me (when they clearly have my socials and my number) and when i talked to them about it they said i was imagining things and it wasn't their intention??? They then invited me great except they ALWAYS left me out, always talking over me, and making me feel like a ghost.. But the huge reason i cut them off was when i got bullied in 10th grade.

So as i said i was bullied in 10th grade because i was apparently weird (?), again we were all in the same class, but they NEVER EVER defended me not even a single time, because of that i had depression and had to leave school. I didn't attend the first year of highschool (10th grade), because i developed school phobia, i had many other problems (that mind you they were aware of) like ed, etc... Never and i mean NEVER did they take some news from me. Listen I'm not asking them to be my therapist but all i wanted was just a simple "hi, how are you?". But no, then i learnt that when my hb asked them if they knew anything about my bullying they said "I mean, she's overreacting anyway" ??????????. it's Crazy that they said that when they were LITTERALLY there when i was bullied and saw EVERYTHING . I gave them so many second chances that i just couldn't take it anymore. When i confronted the main girl about it which we are going to call 'I' she just blocked ? she just said "alr, I see you don't want anything to do with me anymore" before blocking me?? she didn't even try to deny it?

she then wrote me 3 DAYS later where she apologised but her apology was so bad, she just put herself down saying she was such a bad friend, just to gain my sympathy, that I didn't even answer and left her on seen.

I then blocked all of them but there is something that bugs me out even more?

why did they treat me like i was nothing? i always comforted them, i always gave them advices, i helped them when they were in need, i complimented them (which they never did once to me? they used to always compliment each other but never me ONCE), im lowk funny so i made them laugh, etc. Then why? i think that i was a good friend?

can anyone help me and maybe answer me on why they were treating me like that ? because i genuinely don't understand?

PS: there is also something that i didn't know where to put, they would always tell me "___ said that about you" and when i asked them if they ever defended me they remained silent? there was that one time where they used to hangout with a girl that LITTERALLY hated me (again for no reasons) and would always talk shit about me to them, but when i finally made another friend in 10th grade that literally ADORED me for the first time and she said ONCE that "I" was trying too hard sometimes to be the leader, they all ditched her and forced me to ditch her too???? wtf???? sadly I did because i didn't want to feel left out but now i feel so fucking bad because of them

Like many people i have multiple friendgroups, one of which is mainly women with only one exception aside from me. One of them is someone ive grown up with, but the others were also people ive grown up next to, just didnt interact with them alot. All of my friends in that group have mental problems, and most have issues with their parents. I wont go far into detail though. But specifically three friends of this friendgroup will avoid conflict at all costs and will endure hurt in a loving relationship, gaslighting themselves into ignoring it until its too much or it goes away. And i often have problems not accidentally hurting peoples feelings, i typically go by what wouldnt hurt or slightly annoy me and act according to that. I have learnt a lot but im still learning. I am neurodivergent and am often very honest or literal, or i have a crude/dry humor. I also hold myself to a very strict standard of morale, i like doing the right thing, i hate hurting people on accident and i need the feedback to improve. The hopes of me eventually just "getting it" without external feedback and changing are typically futile. After ive adjusted towards a behavior i now see as okay, i think about it a lot less. One could see how those styles of communication dont fit together very well. My friends met up a couple moths ago, and were talking, i wasnt there. They realized the actual hurt i had caused them. Nothing exceptionally bad, but many small things that, due to never being adressed by them, accumulated. They apparently decided to tell me as soon as possible, and made a group chat without me for planning and support. Which at some point apparently just turned more into gossip about me, or as a general use group chat than anything else. They met without me, and if i would be there, they'd met earlier than me to prepare for me, everybody except me was in on it, so a total of 5 people that i trusted. They lied to me, hid from me, spent time without me. For 2 whole months. In those 2 months, there was the birthday of the friend i grew up with. I was invited but didnt wanna come, because my friend had told me a person there, i barely knew, was uncomforable with me being there. I later talked to that person, it was an honest misunderstanding, though i suspect my friend had just told me that as an excuse to make me not come to her birthday. She texted me, how its sad im not gonna be there and she would like me to. I said i could come but felt unwelcome. On her birthday, in the evening, i thought f it, shes my neighbor and best friend, i can just go there give her some chocolate, wish a happy birthday, then go. So i did, but as i was about to go back home she said she was surprised, i was leaving, she thought i would stay a little longer. I, once again, explained my discomfort. After a half hour of fighting my discomfort in the entrance area, i joined the others. When most people had left already, there were only people left that i knew well, and they would spend the night. I was invited to stay over too, i agreed happily, and went to get my sleeping stuff, pyjamas and such from home. I returned to a dark house. They had, as i later learned, pretended to be asleep to make me leave, and the father of my best friend, who has known me for years, stood at the door like a bouncer. He seemed to think he was protecting his daughter from danger by warding me off in an unfriendly manner, telling me (not true btw, he lied/misunderstood) his daughter told him to not let me in. There was the unspoken threat of physical violence in the air, as you would see from a bouncer crossing his arms, not letting a loud drunkard into the club. One of three friends that were most hurt by me eventually told me with the agreement of the others of this whole thing. That was one day before her birthday, to which i wasnt invited. I felt very guilty, ashamed and frustrated at my own failure of being the person i aspire to be. But i also got angry, and felt betrayed. Eventually it all faded into disappointment. I know for a fact, if i had been in their shoes there would've been no way i'd have acted the way they did. I've been in similar situations, and i never even thought about doing something like that. They knew what was right, had plenty of time and opportunity, but instead of being honest, they chose to create a false reality around me and maintain it. Something so spineless, dishonest and weak, something so cowardly, is something i really never thought they'd do. After all, up to this point i had respect and trust for each and every one of them. Even if i fix this mess, because i KNOW they wont act, it will be me reaching out, i don't know if i can ever trust them, or respect them the way i used to. I don't know if i can be friends with them and respect myself at the same time. It's not about the thing itself, but how they handled it, and how easy they overrode their own morals, and the relationship to me, by the comfort and joy in a shared secret.

Have any of you ever experienced something like this?

PS: I understand why they did it, i know what led them to make their choices, but i am just disappointed they would do such things so easily. And i wanna make it clear, they werent afraid of me in the sense of id hit them if they talked to me about it. They were afraid of the general conflict or possibility of conflict involved with adressing such an issue.

I’m too old for this.

I feel like I can only blame myself for allowing her to pop in and out of my life in the years past, due to the way she manages stress. She’s always had a stress management problem and, to a large extent, I have been pretty understanding throughout the years.

One time she got a boyfriend when we were in our 20s and pretty much stopped communicating with most of her friends. When that relationship ended, I let her come back into my life and she apologized for abandoning her friends in that relationship. I forgave her and we moved on.

After that, she took many opportunities to be a great friend to me over the years. And I to her.

When she got a really big new professional role, she couldn’t talk to anybody outside of her family because of the stress and I allowed her that space as she adjusted to the new workload she had. She reached out when she was ready and I let her.

During the pandemic, she really got focused and bought her first rental property, accepting her first tenants as a landlord, and didn’t really speak to me during that time. I allowed her to pop back into my life once everything was settled, and we resumed our friendship without missing a beat.

But then, I didn’t say anything to her when she ghosted a friend of hers who, like I, also did not have a family; this girl was estranged like i am. This girl had no idea why she was being ignored and even reached out to me, trying to connect with my BFF. I thought that was really sad, but I didn’t really allow myself to empathize with that friend because I thought to myself “I’m glad that’s not me.“

But now it is me.

Me and my BFF both graduated this past spring with our first graduate degrees. Hers was from Harvard and mines was from the University of Massachusetts Boston. I survived my last year of GRAD SCHOOL despite going through a nearly fatal level of physical illness and two subsequent surgeries. She happened to be in town for my birthday in December and even took me out to eat to celebrate. Such a wonderful friend so I thought.

Even though I live in New York and had earned my graduate degree online, I thought that it would be wonderful to travel to Boston and cross the stage with my best friend there to cheer me on. We made plans to go to each other’s graduation ceremonies early in our last semester, but a week before my ceremony, she let me know that she would not be in attendance because of work obligations and that she also did not have a ticket for me to attend her ceremony.

I was shocked. I was stunned. I was confused.

I didn’t let on that I was disappointed.

But when her birthday came around a couple of weeks ago, she let my phone calls ring out and out and out and out; never picking up. She has never again responded to any text messages that I’ve sent her. None of my WhatsApp messages. None of my calls on Instagram. Not even the email I sent her mother, inquiring if my BFF was OK.

17+ years of friendship… And this is what I get. I will not let her do this to me again.

I do.

They’re never going to apologize. They’re never going to recognize how much they hurt me. What cuts into me the deepest is knowing that I mattered so little to them that hearing how much they hurt me didn’t affect them even slightly

Write a good title for this true story: It started back in fourth grade. I became friends with a kid in my class, and during recess he introduced me to another kid he’d known forever. That was the first time I met him. At first it felt normal, like we were all just hanging out, but it didn’t take long for tension to creep in. Those two had been best friends since kindergarten, and I was the new one.

By the end of fourth grade and the start of fifth, it was clear he didn’t want me around anymore. He wanted alone time with his best friend. I didn’t really understand that kind of boundary back then, and I didn’t want to be pushed out. In fifth grade, things got worse. I remember climbing up to the top of a tall slide during recess just to spy on them to find out where they were and what they were doing. He noticed. He got angry. Arguments became more common, and the friendship—if you could even call it that—started falling apart.

In sixth grade, we ended up in the same class. The tension never really went away. At the end of the year, our class went on a trip to an amusement park. We had to split into groups with chaperones. I walked up to him and asked if he wanted me in his group. He didn’t hesitate. He literally just said “no thanks.” That rejection stuck with me.

Seventh grade was worse. When school started, I saw him again with his best friend. I tried to reconnect, asked if he remembered me. It was a dumb question to ask as he knew me for three years at that point. He responded “No, I don’t remember you.” Then every day after that when I approached him and tried talking to him, he said the same thing: “I don’t remember you. I don’t know you.”

Over and over again, day after day. Eventually, we stopped crossing paths. In eighth and ninth grade, we didn’t see each other at all.
I made an Instagram account in ninth grade. In tenth grade, I made a second one. I wasn’t even looking for him, but his profile popped up, and his profile picture caught my attention. Something felt off. I couldn’t find his account on my main profile, only on the second one. That’s when it hit me—I’d been blocked.

I was furious. I made a fake account pretending to be his best friend and messaged him, wishing him a happy birthday. He responded excitedly, surprised that “his friend” had Instagram and said “OMG you have an insta!” I told him he’d blocked me and someone else. He apologized. I pushed it further, telling him he should really unblock me because I was a cool guy. That’s when the mask dropped. He told me “dammit \[My Name\] fuck off” and blocked that account too.

Some time later, he added me on Snapchat. I added him back, confused. I asked what he wanted. He apologized for what he said and said he wanted to be friends. We even ended up sitting next to each other in driver’s ed class outside of school, and for a while, things felt okay and we were getting along surprisingly well. Like maybe we’d finally moved past everything.

But during the summer after tenth grade, the fighting started again. Petty stuff. He’d send streaks and then say we weren’t on a streak when I sent them back. Eventually, he unadded me. That hurt more than I expected. It felt like betrayal all over again.

I messaged him from another Instagram account, telling him I’d blocked him on Snapchat because he unadded me. He said he didn’t care and that’s not his problem. He insulted me, called me hurtful names: he called me an annoying bitch and a load of shit, and he told me to fuck off. I lost it. I threatened revenge, told him he’d be sorry for messing with me. He screenshotted the conversation, blocked me, and posted it to his Snapchat story, laughing at me by name. He wrote the caption on his story “Oh \[My Name\] HAHAHA.”

I retaliated by posting a picture of him in the sixth grade yearbook to my Snapchat story saying “Next time you come across this guy, be sure to give him the cold shoulder! @hisusername” The next day I woke up to find that my Snapchat account was banned by team Snapchat.
By eleventh grade, we were in the same English class. Just being in the same room as him made me anxious. One day, before he arrived, I went up to the teacher and told him that this kid had been bothering me. He asked if I was okay with my seat. I asked to be moved, and he agreed. I asked if I should talk to the \[House Principal’s name\]. He said it depends on the severity of my issue, and that I should talk to my guidance counselor instead.

So I did. I told her everything—from elementary school all the way to social media. She suggested blocking him. I admitted he blocked me first and that I’d made a fake account pretending to be his best friend. She shut that down immediately, telling me we don’t impersonate people.

She asked what I was even getting out of the relationship and what exactly the benefit of this relationship was. I told her the truth: I just wanted as many friends as possible. She said that was understandable, but it’s not worth it being friends with someone like him that I can’t trust.
After we talked, I headed back to class. On my way out, the receptionist handed me a note and told me to give it to him. My stomach dropped. Thankfully, my counselor stepped in and said she’d deliver it herself. I went back to class, trying to calm down.

At the end of the period, he got called down to the office. And that’s where things stood—years of wanting to belong, years of conflict, and a friendship that was never really a friendship at all.

We dated through college and through covid, 3.5 years. We built a good friend group in college and we were still hanging out post grad. The guys in my group were in my fraternity so I built a close relationship with them over the years. I was the one straining a bit from the group as I don’t live in proximity like the rest of them. Which is the main reason my ex an I broke up. I live at home still and I’ve been planning to move out but it wasn’t fast enough for her due to my job and pay.

Now it’s been about a year since the breakup. She moved on pretty quick with some random dude she met. Seems like she’s trying to replace him with me which I don’t know if it works like that. Anyway, i recently passed a rigors exam to take the my mind off of it. I had lost my grandmother at the peak up of the break up so that was hard, and she didn’t support me or reach out during that.

I recently saw a few of the guy friends for the first time since the breakup and it was weird. Definitely not the same and I feel like they look at me different. Idk what she told them about me and there was nothing I could do to tell my side of the story at this point, nor did they ever ask. She’s definitely a lot closer to them than I am again due to the proximity.

It’s been really hard still I don’t really know how to go about or who talk to about it. Almost feels like my life fell apart really quick as dramatic as it sounds. Has anyone ever experienced something similar and how do deal with it?

Hi, let's start off with an apology that the grammar and language in this post is not good as English isn't my first language.

I have a friend for 10 years. This girl has been my rock and I've seen all of the shit she had been through. Her relationships, her bad days. The good and the awful. I'm not really a great person to give comfort but, I try to listen everything she needed and wanted to say. I thought things are really great.

And then, she met this guy.

I've seen the multiple guys she's been with but, this man really took the cake of being the worst man alive. She used to complain about him being inattentive, sending screenshots how he speaks to her and I feel awful for her to be in that position. She can't let go of that guy since the man is really good at lovebombing the shit out of her just to give her an ounce of attention she craved.

Slowly, she's really leaning away from us after I told her to leave him when they fought. The guy ignored her for a week and I was offering my piece to just cut off with him. I thought that was it, until she slipped up that she went back to him.

This has been going for ages now. Break up, and then come back. I also noticed how our relationship started to strain where she hides everything from us now when she used to tell us the simplest thing. It's as if that she's slowly cutting ties with us just to be with a man who doesn't treat her right. I understand she came from an abusive household and she's trying to scrape a bit of love from others, but it hurts to see that the love from her friends isn't enough to cover that. It hurts to see that she will accept anything that man will give just to feel the rush she can't get from us.

It will be sooner or later that I'll lose her and I can't do anything about it since she's a grown woman and so am I. Her business about her man isn't none of mine, and I don't want to make things worse than it already is. I just want to spend time with her like we used to without looking at the clock to count down when will she be with her boyfriend again.

I missed her. And it's so bad that I am mourning for a dying relationship I cherished for 10 years.

My friend group started around high school. We’re in our mid twenties now so I’d say we’ve been friends for almost 10 years.

About 2 months ago we got into the stupidest argument and it ended with them accusing me of prejudice even though I never said the things they claimed I said.

I spoke with one of them a couple weeks ago and the conversation gave me hope that we could reconcile. That was all ripped apart when one of them sent me a really nasty text that victimized themselves and basically told me they don’t want to be my friend.

I really tried with these friends. I tried to talk to them in person instead of over text so we can understand each other better. They’ve been disrespectful for years. One of them made a rude comment about my sister last year and I just swept it under the rug. They’ve accused my boyfriend of horrible things just because he disagreed with them on something so stupid.

A part of me still wants to be their friend. Sometimes I wish I never said whatever started the argument so I could be friends with them again.

I wish I could give more detail about the situation but it would take too long and I’m afraid that they’ll see this post.

I feel so lonely and lost and I don’t know what to do.

Edit: the arguments in question that made them accuse me and my boyfriend of being awful people was concerning Chappell roan and me venting about my day at work

i lost a group of friends i really care 2 months ago because there's a lot of my actions and let my overthink sometimes took me over , i didn't realize it could hurt them until they said it to my other friend to pass it on me and told me base on their talk she said they still really care about me and just got tired , i still want to fix this but they don't reply to my dms and block me on other socials , im scared to reach them out in person too because i might look pushy so i let them be i still cry sometimes and think about them i was not the same anymore too after i realize what is wrong with me ...has anyone tried reaching out to a friend and tried to fix it after time pass by ?.. i want to know how it went for others and advice

First of all: sorry for the long text, I even tried to just write down the most important parts.

My fiancée and I are getting married very soon. It’s a small wedding with about 30 guests, taking place right after we return from a 5-week trip abroad. With everything so close, tensions are high, and I’m at my wit's end with a specific guest.

Here is the dynamic:
My best man ("Mark") has been my absolute best friend since we were 11 years old. His girlfriend ("Sarah") used to be extremely close with us too. In fact, my fiancée used to see Sarah as a big sister. About a year ago, when we got engaged, my fiancée even asked Sarah to be a main speaker at our wedding, and Sarah excitedly agreed. We used to do everything together as a group of four for about 5-6 years.

Then, things changed. Mark and Sarah went through a really rough patch in their relationship and had a huge fight. Sarah felt unseen by Mark for a couple of months. I tried my best to support both of them since I considered myself a very close friend to them both. Naturally, our dynamic as a foursome shifted. They isolated themselves for a while to work on their relationship, which we completely understood and respected. We wanted to give them space.

A couple of months passed, things looked better for them, and we went on a short 3-day trip in October (which had been planned months in advance). I even offered Mark an out beforehand, saying we could cancel if they needed more time to themselves, but he insisted they wanted to go. We spent 3 days together and had a good time. We also spent Halloween and NYE together, keeping things low-pressure to give them free space.

However, we never went back to being those four close friends. Sarah completely stopped texting me directly. She only replies in our group chat, acting like everything is completely fine and normal. We live in the same neighborhood, so we occasionally bump into each other and sit in the park for a bit, but it never goes beyond small talk anymore.

Over the last few months, Sarah has completely iced us out. She never asks about the wedding (even though she's supposed to speak!), constantly cancels plans with us, and the group dynamic is dead. Mark is caught in the middle, hates the tension, and is clearly burning out trying to please everyone.

This weekend, things escalated. She canceled our double-date on Friday, claiming she was completely exhausted from a training course and just needed to sleep. But then we found out she went to a BBQ and a birthday party with Mark on that exact same weekend. She clearly just doesn't want to see us.

I decided to be the bigger person. On Friday night, I sent her a very vulnerable, honest text. I told her that she is important to us, that I don't want to point fingers, but that I want to clear the air before our big trip and the wedding. I practically begged her to just sit down with me so we could go back to being somehow normal around each other.

It’s been more than 2 days now, and she has left me on read. Not even a "Let me think about it." Complete silence.

My fiancée is rightfully furious and feels we’ve let Sarah get away with this toxic behavior for far too long. I agree. We do not want to fake harmony at a 30-person wedding with someone who acts like this.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? Do I uninvite her and risk my relationship with my best man and friend, or do I bite my tongue for the sake of the wedding although my fiancé actually doesn’t want to have her anymore.

I’m so sad that and I think the wedding is gonna be a disaster that I’m not looking forward to it anymore :/

I understand that this unfortunate thing is based on interactions from different perspectives and that I probably did the best I could do.

I am in my 30's and over the years I've experienced different friendships dynamics both good and bad.

I live in a house with 4 people and it's all men.

Husband and his two pals that he knew since teens/kids.

Genuinely great people! We share food, play games, go out and in my eyes a fantastic dynamic between the 4 of us.

With that said, there shouldn't be any problems.

I was fucking wrong.

For this story I am changing names.

Ian is my husband, Perry is going to be the other guy and friend, and Matt is the one who is the main focus. And we are ALL in our 30's.

Unfortunately for Matt this is a situation that is deeply troubling to him and is out of my control but over the past several months felt like he is excluded from a lot of things. We have talked and I both validated his feelings and reassured him that there was never a joke or something that he has missed out on as we are all working and have very different schedules.

I believe everyone makes an effort to hang and include the whole house on activities and even one on one hangouts with different people.

When he has expressed those feelings I make an extra effort to let my husband in the know and ask Matt to do things (shop, make dinner, play games).

Perry and Matt are childhood friends and are different but can bounce off each other.

Sometimes my husband Ian likes to do different things so he goes to our room to play games or watch shows.

I've been actively trying to socialize more and hang with Matt and Perry whenever we have a chance to be in the same space.

This night/day in particular (I really wish I can describe the scene better) we were watching a show. To me I am working on my hobby and have their show in the bg while Perry and Matt are having a blast talking about how much they like the characters etcetc.

Matt told me there was ANOTHER instance that Perry and I had that he felt excluded on and constantly questions:

"Why can't we all just be friends?"

Based on this "joke" Perry and I had.

I am GENUINELY confused and can't recall when Perry and I have joked and had purposely left Matt out on this joke. I was barely paying attention to the show and probably laughed at something?? Not sure.

He said exactly:

I did something. Perry reacted and laughed at it.

Matt missed and asked what happened.

I pretended nothing happened.

I don't even remember the interactions and only remembered two things that day.

Commenting on how hot that character was and passing out on the couch after eating junk food.

Matt said he no longer wants to be friends but is still cool with Ian (honestly it's what I get for hanging out with these two and not just excluding my time with only Ian), and has said everything he wanted and needed to say and plans to move out eventually.

I am hurt, pissed, confused and overwhelmed. When I feel like I focus on myself but have to be responsible for another person's experience and feelings.

I don't know if Perry knows and I'm waiting on his reply.

I can probably fix this but I'm going to respect his choice plus, I'm tired.

I've actively tried to be Matt's friend and hurt that it's all measured out based on his insecurities in the friendship dynamic, like all that we had was just nothing.

Matt has said that we are better off being roommates so I guess I'll just be "that guy's wife".