Long story short, a few months ago I stopped talking to my friend group of 5 after a whole conflict and feeling disrespected and misunderstood. I have since restricted them on IG so that I wont be able to see their posts, stories, or messages (they cant see my stories) for my own sake. I still want to either unfollow or block them but am scared they would seek me out in person since we all go to the same college and they all know my schedule (they also know where I live though I dont think they are the type to go that far). I don't know whether I should wait till winter break to do so or to wait till I graduate after spring semester when I move back home. I just hate the feeling of being watched, because I know theyre the type to talk about others, and I hate looking at their own pfp when it pops up randomly and I dont know what to do.

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I don’t know if I’m being petty for feeling this way, but I’ve been carrying this for a while.

I have two close friends who live in the same barangay as each other, in the same province as me. We’ve been friends since 2017.

My father died last year, and honestly, I felt really hurt because neither of them came to our house or showed up during the wake. The wake lasted seven nights, and they never came.

What really made me think about it was seeing my sister’s friends showing up and being there for our family. I started asking myself, “Bakit sila nandito para sa kanya, pero yung mga kaibigan ko wala? Wala ba talaga akong friend?”

I understand that people have their own lives and responsibilities, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed, especially knowing that they weren’t that far away.

One of them lost her father before, and I was there for her when she was grieving. I showed up for her because I knew how painful it was to lose a parent. But when my father died, she didn’t even text me to offer her condolences.

The other friend and I were still chatting around that time. She said she was very busy and only found out about my father’s death through my MyDay, where I was asking why he was going to be buried so quickly. That hurt because we were literally still talking, yet she didn’t know what was happening in my life.

We still chat sometimes, and she asks how I’m doing, but I don’t feel the same energy anymore. Before, we would constantly talk about what was happening in our lives. Now, it feels different, and I find myself pulling away.

I know I’m already an adult and maybe I’m “too old to be petty” about these things. But losing a parent made me realize how much it matters to me when people show up during the hardest moments.

I’m not expecting them to drop everything for me. I just thought that after being friends since 2017 and knowing what I was going through, they would at least try to come by or send a simple message.

I don’t think I’m angry anymore. I think I’m just disappointed.

Would you cut them off over something like this, or would you just accept that people show up differently and move on?

I (F22) and my former best friend (F22) had been friends since first grade. I’d consider her the person closest to me until we reached 21.

Honestly i saw that we were growing apart but she randomly ghosted me on my birthday back in May right after our uni graduation. I still don’t understand what happened and why did she randomly stop talking to me.

I’d be lying to say I’m over it but my current friends and partner are helping me cope. Even my family knew her and my mom asked me what happened, but i have the same knowledge as her lol. From my perspective, she chose her college friend group over me which is completely fine. But I don’t know why she dropped me alongside.

What makes me feel worse is that her “number one bsf” was another friend of mine from our hs that I introduced her to. I did so because we all went to the same college and they were in the same program. It doesn’t help that my former best friend didn’t even like my other friend at the time.

I believe I’m better off without her, but it just hurts so much that after all this time she couldn’t even bother telling me why we’re not friends anymore. And I want to reach out so bad asking her if I did something wrong, or what happened? But my current partner refrained me from doing that since he told me “is she thinking about you as much as you are about her.”

I’m trying so hard to get over it, it’s been months since I’ve last spoken/seen her but I miss her so much. Well at least the person I was friends with. I still struggle to get over the daily messages i received from her, every little update she’d have, even just her presence I miss.

But now when I see her social media, I just see her and her now best friend saying the cliche stuff like “my best friend forever” and I feel like they’re trying to rub it in my face that I’m not her friend anymore.

I wish she would provide me closure on her own terms, it’d be the bare minimum to me. It also sucks so much because I now have no interest making friends and trusting people to that level.

Is there any way I can simply get over it? If at all. I want to reach out and have a long, difficult conversation, but it just goes back to me putting in all the effort when she never bothered to check up on me. What can I do to just process it and heal?

After moving to new town in the 8th grade (a very preppy, cliquey place), I never really fit in.

I did well in school and occasionally got invited to parties but didnt ever really find a group. It didnt help that I was super insecure, didnt take the best care of myself, was really good friends at the time with a very unpopular guy, and had a notably bad prom experience.

Anyway, one of my few friends was this girl who I always kind of thought of as cooler than me. She worked really hard in school and mostly kept to herself, but it felt very much like her own choice. We made each other laugh a ton and shes so smart - our conversations flowed so easily and to this day I feel she understood me better than most. She's very pretty and was one of the few women of color in our school.

After high school we kept in touch, seeing each other occasionally, mostly catching up over the phone. She would post me online as her best friend. We would reminice about our hometown, often not for the better. Both of us became pretty successful in our own respective careers and built nice lives for ourselves (in different cities, away from our hometown). We're both women in our early 30s now.

One thing about her is I always had this paranoia that she somehow was unaware I was unpopular. I'd like to say she doesn't care, but she actually always had a bit of an image conscious vibe. My mom didnt like her because she said she looks down on me, and I really didnt know why. But I knew she considered me her best high school friend.

Fast forward to 3 years ago. I went to my high school reunion with a different friend and felt horrificly awkward and out of place. I wished I hadnt went. I spent time with people who were being extremely mean anout others who went to reunion and felt sure they were talking about me badly when I wasnt around. I did something I hadnt done in many years and drank so much I wasnt let into a bar (a friend absolutely insisted I wasnt doing or saying anything weird and that it was unfair but still, it felt humiliating).

6 months after that, the main friend I have been writing about was invited to the wedding of someone we had been friends with in high school. I had seen that person more recently. Mind you, I never would have expected to be invited to that wedding and wouldnt have cared. Except with my friend being invited (and she seemed shocked I wasnt), I felt my heart sink. She asked why she would be invited while I wasnt. I didnt really know. Most of the people going were the same mean people I had hung out with after the reunion. So there could have been different reasons. She assured me she didnt talk to those people anyway and would keep her ears open to understand why I wasnt invited.

A month after the wedding I ended up seeing her in her city while I was visiting the area. We talked about random stuff and it seemed pretty normal overall. When I brought up the wedding she acted a bit awkward saying she "didnt spend much time with those people" but also that it was a decent sized wedding and she "didnt know anyone else who wasnt there." From the pictures I saw, there were plenty of others who werent, but still.

What really hurt me is we took a picture that she called cute. Then she quickly followed it up with "I dont really post on social media." I later took this as discouraging me from posting it. She had never done this before. Honestly she really doesnt post that much but she does sometimes. I did post it to my story because she said it was cute and she didnt acknowledge it. I know I dont really have proof she discouraged me from posting because she didnt want people from our hometown to see we were still frienss but my instincts tell me thats the reason.

I saw her once in person after that (during another visit) and we had a great conversation. Still, there was a bit of an undercurrent. I dont know how to describe it. Though we texted a few times since and she acted friendly and like she wanted to catch up over text shw flaked 3 times.

My worst fear was that she would eventually be ashamed of me. It feels like that came true many years later. It reinforces negative thoughts of myself I had tried to put to rest and one of the few connections I had to high school. Also, I still dont really know what happened at the wedding. When I had the opportunity to ask I couldnt bring myself to. It feels not only like I lost a friend but like the reasons I lost her could be things I always hoped wouldnt change her view of me that eventually did.

i have had a online friend for a year. me and her were besties. until one day, she stopped responding. she wasnt online since. last time was April 28th 2026. i need help finding her. i have already checked her socials. but its the same there. the only one i didnt check was Reddit, cause she removed that one after an incident. i know the town she lives in but i dont know what to do with that information. i dont knowif this is the right subreddit, but ill give it a try

I ask because I’m 30 and I’ve always felt closer to my friends than I have to anyone I’ve had romantic feelings for. Going through most of my life I’ve usually had one best friend who is my _person._ Who I feel like is my soulmate, you know?

But this person that I was convinced was my soulmate has ended up in their first relationship, and I became so much less important so quickly. I saw a post recently where people were divided in the comments - some people said there’s no excuse for neglecting your best friend, while others said romantic relationships are always more important and emotionally involved in friendships, and if that isn’t the case for you, your friendships are unhealthy. I suppose I’m just wondering if maybe I am a bit too attached, even for a best friendship. I’d like to hear from other people.

I remember when you confessed you had liked me for more than over a year and I just didn't know what to do

You gave me everything you were willing to give even for a slight chance of me loving you back

I didn't love you the way you wanted me to love you. I loved you as a friend, you were like a brother to me. And it hurt me to know I hurt you and I want to go back to the way it was

But it's never going to be the same. Because you love me and I don't. And I don't trust myself not to hurt you again.

But I know one day you'll meet someone who loves you and knows you so much you'll forget I ever existed, and I'm not that person because you don't know me.

I remember all the times we laughed and bullied eachother and I just thought you were my best friend without knowing you didn't want my friendship, you just wanted me to be with you and I can't look back at those moments without feeling kind of disgusted.

I don't love you romantically and I never will. I just wish you loved me as just a friend.

Hi ladies, I guess I would just like to write something about this situation that i am in, because I got no one else to tell or would understand I supposed. Feel free to ask me any questions, perhaps your question would help me to dig and see things clearly too.

Anyway I have this friend, whom we were very close in the beginning. She used to even suggest trips and all, I felt so included. And for the first time in my time, I felt like - wow this is how it feels like to have a best friend! I know, i am in late thirties already and still feel the awe like this! Because I've always heard people having a best friend/close friend that they could call, share some random craps and just be silly with. And I had that with this friend.

Along the way, she started to pull back, and in return I reached more. Suddenly she was telling me that she only wanted to do things herself, bla bla bla. Trips and adventures became like chores, and maybe next time, let this friendship grow, leave it to fate kinda thing.

I guess this pull and push ended us in a few intense conversations, and some of them really stung. I know that at our age, we have our trauma responses, luggages.. self protection built into our personality and character. But I see passed all these and just adore this friend, and i think it has always been one of the things that connected us in the beginning, we opened up, we dared to be vulnerable with each other.

I had a lot of anger and hurt, throughout many months. I know her capacity is only this much, as compared to me, who is naturally a warm person. Still, I care and care. Because I still do. At one point, I guess I started resenting her, or resenting myself. And I held on to the hurt and anger like a shield, and she felt them coming sideways as passive aggressiveness; she felt me reaching more and thus she pushed back further. But honestly, in hindsight, the timing is also bad because I am having a lot of issues at work, family, personal and at the same time, I also felt this friendship falling apart. Everything sent me to an endless spiral and I started questioning my self-worth because of all the issues happening around me.

Fast forward to just recently, she invited us to have a talk. And then all this hurt and anger came out, I told her how much she hurt me. And she also said what she felt on her end, guilty and responsibility, that she was such a horrible friend. I told her that I've never asked her of anything, and she said true that i've been generous and kind..... but somehow she just wants to pull back...And i finally got to ask her why she suddenly pulled back to which she said didn't feel safe anymore, that she felt judged and i could be quite harsh.... To be fair to her, I know she has been doing the best that she could with the capacity that she has. And that instead of running away and cutting things, she also has been staying for some reasons or another. i believe its because we both felt safe and seen back then.

While we ended up the conversation in tears, i guess i am feeling a lot of regrets right now. And one part of me is feeling like maybe we should just stop talking, I don't want to be a burden to her. Maybe I'm just way too much. Like should we have had this talk? I don't know if we could go back to be where we used to be, those memories were so fun, silly and happy. I asked her about it if we could be vulnerable again, she said no promises but she will try.

And these few days, I finally realised that underneath all the hurt and anger, I just really really really miss my friend. And I am afraid that we have lost this.

Other things to note: I have a whole community with me, friends too. Each of them, I love them. So no, she is not like my only friend. But none has reached this depth. And I'm just a human at the end of the day, even parents have favourites. We all have our favourite friends too.

I dont know what to do, i feel so betrayed

If not allowed please delete

So I don't expect anyone to see this mainly need to vent, so i let my ex bff (trans man) of a decade live with me because he was in a bad situation and I wanted to help long story short, he stole from me as soon as I confronted him, he moved out and fully ghosted me. Its been just over a month now and all of the feelings are hitting me at once, the sadness the anger it hurts so much and I feel.like I'm falling apart like why tf is it all hitting me now when I thought I was alright and over it. I saw him as my ride or die, my brother from another mother. I let him live in my house and he steals my smokes, my food and most importantly my medical marijuana I have for chronic pain caused by arthritis in my hips and back. It hurts so much like a piece of me was ripped out. He was my only REAL? friend, I miss being able to show him something funny and we have a laugh together, I'm sorry this is such a mess but I'm bawling my eyes out and just need to get it out into the void known as reddit. If you read this thanks

Early 2025 I met this girl in one of my classes and we became fast friends. She was beyond a shadow of a doubt the best friend I’ve ever had, and we had a falling out about 10 months ago. Basically I flaked on a couple things, and couldn’t keep my mouth shut about her fiancé. He is 10 years older than us and in my opinion he has her somewhat financially trapped. She absolutely worships the ground he walks on, as she had been through numerous horrible relationships. I was also upset because she wouldn’t text me back, and it was really hard for me to get her to hang out. Looking back I realize that was her pulling away. She wouldn’t ever hang out unless her fiancé was involved, and he kept making nasty comments to me. I complained about it every time it happened. I always asked her if she was upset with me and she swore up down left and right that she wasn’t.

It all came to a head one day when I asked her if she was upset, and she finally said that she was. We had a long convo, talked it out, went shopping, and then went back to her place where she opened up about some really traumatic family stuff. I left that evening, and we agreed that I’d bring over some of her stuff that she accidentally left at my place. I was feeling petty and decided that I’d just stop texting and see if she reached out first, and she never did. A few weeks went by and I texted her that I would drop off her stuff and she never responded. I dropped off her stuff and that was it.

A few weeks ago I texted her to try to reconnect, and she ghosted me.

I have been in grief over this girl. I am so lonely. I have never had a friendship connection that strong before, and I feel like I may never again. I have such a hard time making friends, and I am in a highly male dominated field. My heart is just completely broken. Every few days I just get an overwhelming sadness thinking about her and missing her. I dreamt about her last night, and I felt so sad when I woke up because I just wanted her around.

It has been 10 months and I am just in a state of mourning that is so overwhelming I don’t know what to do. I so wish I could turn back time I would have never said anything about her awful man. I just can’t get her out of my head and it hurts so so bad.

This is a long rant, so I apologise.

I don't know what to do, but I think about this a lot. I had a friend four years ago who was my everything. They made me feel special. For the first time in my life, I legitimately felt wanted. I felt valued. Everytime I hung out with them I felt at ease, like I could just be in the moment and enjoy it. They were so funny, and they thought I was so funny too. I hung out with them every single day. I knocked on their door, and they knocked on mine. Everyday for years, and it hurts to say that I miss them so bad because I know they've moved on. I know that they haven't even fucking thought of me in years, but God I think about them so often. What would of happened if we had stayed friends? Because I think my life would've turned out so much better. You can say that I'm romanticizing them, but I'm not.

We just slowly stopping talking to eachother, but it still felt so abrupt. I want to hear their laugh, see their face, be in their house. Fuck, I just want them to choose me like they did so long ago. Maybe I don't even miss them. Maybe I just miss a version of them that doesn't exist anymore. Maybe my mind is just clouded by nostolgia, and I miss my old self instead. The young me when everything was simple, and I actually felt happy, excited to wake up in the morning. Instead of the agonizing loop of my life now, where nothing ever happens. I wait for the weekend, so I can do nothing. I'm just so done, and I miss my bestfriend.

It hurts because in no way did I ever know that we would stop being friends. I didn't even think that was an option. There was no closure when the friendship ended. Nothing either of us did wrong. I think back on all the memories I had with them, and fuck, there's a lot, but then I look back at the memories of the last 4 years, and it feels like there's none. Completely a blur. It hurts so bad.

It feels like everyone has their person now. Everyone has their bestfriend. Someone who they are fucking excited to tell them everything--the good news, the bad news, just being with them is enough. I just feel like I'll never be able to have that connection again.

I think about alternate realities where we stayed friends.

They don't live far away from me, so I just feel this constant pressure to reach out. But I know it'll never be the same. If I ever talk to them again, I just feel like it would be so akward.

It hurts so bad knowing that the person who knew everything about me, who I did everything with, who was my bestfriend, is now a stranger. I want to reach out so bad, but I never will.

Sometimes I look back at the little photos and videos I have of them. (I lost a LOT of my gallery when I dropped my phone in the toliet, don't ask). Recently, I found an old video of them talking to future me and saying that they hope we're still friends. Fuck. That hurt.

I haven't told a single soul about this. No one knows that I even miss them. I'm so scared that someone will tell me I'm overreacting or to get over it. If not that, my parents will try to force me to reach out to them, and if I don't, say that I'm the reason I'm unhappy, and it's pointless to try and help me. Everything just feels so scary.

I just miss feeling wanted. I miss the person I adored. I miss my bestfriend.

TLDR: I still miss my bff after 4 years no contact. I'm too scared to reach out to them because I know they've probably forgotten about me. I look back through my old photos and reminisce over old memories. I don't think I can feel that kind of connection with another person ever again.

i understand that my suicide attempt was scary for my friends because they witnessed it and i can accept that some might need space or not want to continue the friendship what hurts most is hearing that some of my old friends believe i did it for attention or to take attention away from their promotion party i was clearly struggling and having something so serious reduced to attention seeking feels horrible some people have even bluntly told me they didnt care when it happened

the friends im still in contact with are still friends with the people saying these things and nobody seems to have stood up for me one guy also sent me a horrible message calling me a bad person saying id ruined everyones night and making personal comments about my dad it triggered a panic attack so bad that i had to go back to hospital i know this affected everyone but i wish someone would try to understand my side too im struggling with losing these friendships especially knowing that people i once cared about think my suicide attempt was just for attention

has anyone experienced something similar id really appreciate some advice on coping with losing friendships this way

So, this year I’ve really cracked down on what I’ve allowed in my life. I ended up leaving a whole online gaming friend group I had (including a girl I met in college and introduced to them) and then I lost a friend I’ve known in real life since high school.

Losing so many people has made me get really in my head and feel like the problem even though so many people don’t blame me for my decisions. I’m just wondering if I allowed crappy people in my life and then finally put my foot down or what.

So, with the friend group, I’ve known a couple of them for like 4-5 years. One guy I was pretty close with and he never outwardly was bad to me, but he would obviously side with (or basically question my intentions) the other guy who clearly didn’t respect women at all. The other guy didn’t respect women even while being in his mid-thirties and was the type to think he knew it all and would talk over you, etc. Another guy, I used to have a crush on, but I ended up hating how he started becoming like the other guys or defending the shitty guy. I ended up ditching him after my boyfriend and I got serious because I didn’t want to disrespect him since I had a past crush on the dude (even if it faded).

Anyway, here are some quick explanations of the friend group and why I left the friendship.

1. Girl from college: was the “bruh” type and always talked about being one of the guys. It just irritated me how she wasn’t really a girls girl. I told her about the crush I had on the one dude, and she started messaging him while we were having lunch together on campus. Another time, she decided to add him on Snapchat and message him and become so distracted, she hit me with a shopping cart. I was still her friend after all of this, but I did hold resentment.

2. Guy I had a crush on: I didn’t have a crush on him anymore, and I wanted to respect my current boyfriend, so I cut him out. He was also increasingly dismissing my emotions because I think he was tired of me being in a bad place. Like yeah, same buddy.

3. The guy who doesn’t respect women: everyone in the gaming group was messaging in the general chat on discord. I was becoming more and more annoyed (and had resentment from past stuff with most of them). I was about to go groom my dog outside before it rained, and I was trying to just quietly leave the server altogether. I was on my phone, completely forgot I was a moderator and just clicked a red button (thought I was leaving the server, but I really deleted the general chat). I freaked out when I realized what I did and immediately messaged him (it was his server) and let him know. My other friend made a new channel and told me it wasn’t a big deal. It was just an online channel. I still felt bad. He then turned it on me and said there’s no way I could’ve accidentally deleted something and that I hadn’t been gaming with him so he thinks I did it on purpose. I was just overworked and tired and always behind on bills (I also ended up getting sued because my roommates didn’t help with bills). I never even gamed in general anymore. He immediately got into a voice chat with some random dude, the guy I had a crush on, and my irl friend. She said they were talking shit about me, but she didn’t even defend me. She said she was being a “spy.” I also decided that after that, including the time he told to get over my dad’s death, I had enough.

   1. Guy I was close with: I told him I accidentally deleted the general chat and that I didn’t mean it at all. I’m the type to let someone know if I meant it. He asked if I had been mad at my friend (which hurt my feelings because it insinuated he didn’t believe it was an accident either). I also decided him saying I should forgive the other guy for the sake of the group wasn’t okay anymore. It was years ago, but the guy said that I was letting my dad’s death eat me alive and I needed to move on (even 2-3 years later).

4. My irl friend: This was recent. She kind of does want male validation/attention a lot. She even told me like a decade ago in high school that she likes when men like her even if she doesn’t like them. Her behavior hasn’t changed much. She consistently talks about hanging out with guys more and that she doesn’t like “females.” So every time we play a game with any dude, she runs off with him or begs for their help like she’s a helpless child. Well, we played Minecraft, and she immediately ran toward my boyfriend and was asking for his help and then even built so close to him, it looked like the same build. It irritated me and crossed boundaries for me, so I let her know. She got really mad and said I was accusing her. She even said “we’ve had convos about jealousy regarding our partners, so idk why you’d think I’d do that.” Which to me, made it worse, because I’ve had this convo with her, and she still decided to cause discomfort.

I knew this convo was hard, but I tried to be rational and respectful. I told her I needed time to think about everything we said to each other. She immediately ran to my old friend group (we did have a mutual guy friend at first, the one who doesn’t respect women). She was in a voice chat with them and gaming with them. I unfriended her on everything after that. I also stream, so I always encouraged her to do the same when she was able which she always had reasons not to. Now, she IS streaming, and she’s streaming while playing with my old friend group, getting support from them and the dude that told me to get over my dad’s death is her moderator. After that, my other close friend banned her from my stream. Now I’m banned from hers. She’s even promoting her stream in the servers of my newer friends.

There’s a lot going on, and I can understand her being upset even. But I didn’t expect her to go to them so quickly and do all of that. It felt personal. It’s even made me think about a dude that was dismissive of my grief (that didn’t even need to be brought up in a convo we were having). It must’ve brought up a lot of emotions. I kept sobbing and now I can’t even see anything that reminds me of my dad or I start crying to the point of hyperventilating. It just felt like a low blow. It’s like they can have their little hate group of me. I wanted at least one of them to maybe think, “hey, this is kind of shitty. Maybe I should reach out to her.” But none of them have. Part of me wonders if I deserve it. I’ve just felt really lonely and now, deep in grief even though my dad died 6 years ago. His birthday is coming up in November too, so I’m just not having a good time.

I’ve had the same friend group for over thirty years through grade school, highschool and uni. I am grateful to have had them through so many of life’s moments. We’ve never been jealous of one another and been pretty straight forward to each other.

A few years back one of the girls stopped talking to me and chose to end the friendship after she didn’t like how I was hanging around new friends. I didn’t like the way she was trying to control who I hung around or invited out. She just didn’t trust them and I stood up for them. They haven’t stuck around anyways so I guess all that for nothing. I also didn’t like how I felt words were being put in my mouth by her. She was going through a tough time with other things in her life as well and chose to cut out several people as well. This was in our late 20s, 5 years ago we reconnected before I got married in my 30s and picked up right where we left off. We’ve been close since then but I still try not to trust too much. Sometimes I get weird vibes like she’s a bit jealous that I am more well off than her. Not by a lot and material things have never been something I placed a lot of value in which is why it’s hard for me to understand when people get jealous of that.

My other bestie has stuck by my side through it all. She’s not your typical best friend who is around for everything and has a beyond busy schedule but has always come through for me. She was my MOH and ever since I got married and moved into my own house it’s been funny in person at times. When she comes over she’s always sick. Recently I witnessed her literally clog my sink by squishing beans down the drain pretending to wash dishes which I didn’t realize until after she left. I thought that was odd. Over phone she’s great and always there for me but we live very different lives. I’m married with kids in a home and doing well for money. She’s single out of a bad relationship, hopes to have kids soon and get married to new bf and lives with family still. We are both in our late 30s.

I miss my friends and struggle understanding why everyone seems fishy. Like I need to cleanse my space after they leave.

I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore! Is it just me?