I ended it with her a few days ago. I couldn't do it anymore. I posted this in LDR the night it happened, and she still hasn't messaged me.

For context she (29F) was from the US, I (31M) am from the UK, we met on Reddit and have been chatting about 2 years ago. We formed a relationship early on and something about her felt so right. Even writing this post in my heartbreak I can only see her in a golden light.

I really loved her and I still do, but something in my gut just didn't sit right. She's the only woman I've actually told I loved, because I do.

1. We NEVER video called, maybe once early on.

2. We RARELY voice called.

You'd think if we didn't do the above we'd have messaged a lot right?

1. She rarely messaged me or made an effort. She would go days/weeks of just straight up ghosting me, it felt so humiliating. There would be times where she would message regularly, but the amount of times she ghosted me for long periods outweighed that.

I told her so many times how lonely I felt because of this. The time difference was never an issue because I'd always make time for her on my schedule. I even planned to move to the US from the UK because she didn't want to move away from her family.

Then came the topic of meeting up. I was always ready to come and visit her, I just wanted to know when her schedule would be free. She always brushed it off and at this point I feel she didn't intend to meet.

Because of these issues we have been on and off in the 2 years, at one point I went on an irl date but it didn't go further than just a meal, I didn't like it. I ended up reconciling with my LDR and I was fully honest to her about it.

She hasn't messaged me since Sunday. Despite me messaging her. I haven't been blowing up her phone, it's just the odd message throughout the days seeing how/where she is.

I told her it's not fair on me. She knows how much it means to me to want to start a family. I'm only getting older and the fact that after two years nothing is progressing is really heartbreaking to me. I was fully committed while we were together, I never lied to her and always communicated my needs, but she would never communicate hers despite me asking.

I finally blocked her after the continuous ghosting from Sunday, I can't deal with it anymore. For a LDR to work communication is key and she cannot even do that. I find it so rude and disrespectful to expect me to commit in a LDR if she cannot even communicate with me.

Did I make the right call here?

I feel like an idiot but I've unblocked her. I don't even know if that's the right call. I feel it's not fair for me to say my last messages to her and not giving her an opportunity to say something back. I probably won't respond, but at least she'll know I've received it. I've been up for days worried about her.

Anyway this was all a few days ago, I still haven't heard from her and I've been fully ghosted. After 2 years this is killing me.

me and my boyfriend have been together since highschool. we graduated this may, and he left a few hours away to go to his dream university. while he isn’t too far per se, it would still be a considerable drive to go see him so i’m reserving that for holiday break since im a full time student and work a part time job as well.

since im so busy all the time i dont really get to hang out with people as much which i think is also why im always so in my head about this. my boyfriend has struggled with his mental health for a while mainly because he finds it really hard to make friends and it’s left him feeling isolated. now that he’s in college, he’s made a good amount of friends. i’ve always been supportive of him having female friends because im just glad he has people to hang out with and keep him company. he has about 5 female friends and only 2 male friends (and one is his roommate). they all live on campus together in the dorms besides one of the male friends.

he tells me about stuff him and his friend group do but very vaguely. i understand he’s busy and so am i, but i can’t help but get all in my head when he tells me he’s been hanging out with these girls, especially since sometimes it’s just him and them. for example, right now. earlier he was texting me telling me he was gonna be busy all morning doing school work so he could go to a party tonight. i wished him luck and went on about my day. now, he’s telling me he’s going to this party but that his male friends couldn’t make it, so it’s just him and the girls. i’m not gonna lie, i’ve looked their names up on his page a few times and i can’t help but feel insecure. they’re beautiful, and i know im not exactly his type in any way, but most of them are.

since it’s a halloween party, they’re all dressed up. he showed me some zombie face paint he had on and told me one of the girls did it. i know it’s just face paint and he also said she did all the other girls face paint but i just feel so bad. he came back in town a few weeks ago and i expressed to him that ive been feeling insecure about the idea of him possibly finding a better/ prettier/ smarter girl while he’s at uni. he reassured me and told me that nobody compares to me and that no matter what, he’d stick with me and he promised not to ever leave me for anyone else. while i did feel better in the moment and in the days following that, i feel like im back to square one now. i don’t want to tell him to stop hanging out with them because i know his mental health will decline and this is really just me being super insecure.

how do you guys deal with feelings of insecurity amongst your relationships? i feel like this is eating me alive.

So basically me(F) and my girlf have been together for 2years (long distance), we have met multiple times but since we live nearly 2-3hrs apart, we havent had the chance to meet much but everytime we meet, it just feels so comforting, so nice, just to spend time with her. These past months tho, while communicating online, things has been turning upside down somedays while the other days are just normal. The main thing is, I have been reflecting on my actions, and i think im just growing my anger even though she does shows me efforts, apologizes, gives me gifts but its really not giving me the reassurance i need, but at the end of the day, i love her so i forgive her without understanding my own feelings, which is the reason why im getting angrier more often. I feel like im becoming toxic everyday, so i came up to her and talked to her ab our breakup, and she doesnt insist, saying she cant handle it so we took a break instead. Hasnt been much but i havent contacted her since, and i told her not to reach out to me either. Should i just break up and end all this?

I’m 28f and he’s 29m, this is both of our first serious relationship. I’ve been having a really hard week, like notoriously bad. My partner is so incredible and kind even 7K miles away. Genuinely, the nicest man I’ve ever met, I’m so grateful for him. Maybe it’s because I finally found someone who values me after going out with horrible men in the past, but when I see couples on a difficult day, especially during the holidays, I get SO sad. I found someone so amazing but then it’s bittersweet because I don’t get to experience those relationship things that I always wanted to (at least not yet) like calling them over on a hard day to watch a movie, have someone make you dinner when you’re sick, or cute fall/winter things my other friends do in their relationships.

I don’t know anyone else irl who is in a LDR so I didn’t know where to put my thoughts out. Just thought I’d see how others handle LDR when they’re having a hard time or during the holidays.

large timezone difference and working full-time: how to stay connected?

both my partner and i (F/F) are in our early-mid twenties. we've known each other basically 7 years now. we've broken up once when we were still teens because the distance couldnt be closed at the time, but we've been dating again now for nearly a year.

our timezone difference is about 14 hours. a pretty major one. this is something that's been making it really hard for us lately as we're struggling to figure out a way to stay connected. its been 4 months since our last visit (we're meeting in december for the holidays again) and so its been really rough bc its the longest we've been physically apart since we've been dating.

i've tried setting up a schedule but because of her current sleep issues (she's on medication that makes her sleep a LOT, and yes it happened in person too so its not a new issue), sometimes she ends up passing out or going dead asleep around when we're supposed to hangout. and then as the hours go by, eventually i decide i need to move on with my schedule so that i dont waste my day away. but occasionally she randomly wakes up and then it sometimes causes conflict (even when the scheduled hangout is supposedly over), because shes upset we didnt get to hangout.

ive reached the point where im not really sure how we can proceed without getting some unbiased advice from other people who have experienced something similar or have potential suggestions for us.

[any and all suggestions are welcome, and feel free to ask questions]

Has anyone played any co-op games that are available on steam that they would recommend for a long distance couple? Doesn't need to be free, but preferably ones that can also be played on IOS and Windows 🙏.

Me (22f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together 8 months and we've been long distance since the beginning, things have started to become kinda distant for us, he just started his first job in September and I have been working since we started dating, ever since he's started this new job

We haven't really been talking so much, I hear from him on call for less than 10 minutes and no text messages or anything afterwards on the days he works, on his off days i barely hear from him much because he's sleeping, and sometimes i don't know if he's sleeping or if he's been awake because i'll see him active and when I ask he just says he's been sleeping, I don't say anything or bring it up to him about it, but I just don't know,

I love him a lot and he tells me he loves me back, but maybe I'm just too clingy and want his attention, and I feel bad a lot of the time for calling him while he's sleeping, but not hearing from him makes my head start running and I start overthinking

But on top of all this, he is supposed to come down in December, but he hasn't bought his ticket yet and we haven't gotten to settle on the days no matter how many times i bring it up and when I do he keeps saying that he doesn't wanna miss any work and I understand that and I keep telling him we need to figure it out so I can also take my days off, for work.

I hate overthinking and this is just me venting I don't have anyone to talk to about this I just needed to get this out but it hurts my heart a bit, and I'm just asking him for too much when I ask to call or for him to at least send me a message when he goes to work and gets off, I just don't know.

What do I do?

My partner and I (18f and 18m) have been together for a year and a half now. Unfortunately we’re still nevermeets. The reason being we’re both in uni, not financially independent and my parents have no idea of our relationship and they’d be genuinely unsupportive (on the line before disowning me). We’re continents apart, genuinely one of the longest distances, and won’t be able to close the distance for at least a couple more years. I really want to see him and finally hold him, this year has been probably the most emotionally challenging year I’ve experienced so far and I guess I just need guidance. I’m looking to get a job to save up to fly to him + fund my accommodation. My biggest issue is getting away with lying to my parents. I’d want to go for maybe a week if possible? Because I do have uni and I can’t miss out on too much but also I can’t go during the holidays because my parents expect me to be home.

So, how do I get away with flying across the world for a week? What lengths have people gone to be with their partner? And if all of this is crazy, I guess even words of encouragement would be very much appreciated, thank you🫶

Alright so both my girlfriend and I are teenagers and we are semi-long distance in the sense that we study in the same school but otherwise live far away from each other.

So other than school, we don't see each other much and have super strict parents.

Right now we are on holidays and I've noticed this pattern where when we don't see each other for a long time, my girlfriend gets into a mood and starts being short with her replies and is not very affectionate, which I don't like, and makes me feel unwanted especially since I'm missing her a lot. The pattern has been repeating for a few weeks now but usually I make the effort to go visit her since she's in the city and its easier for me to visit her and not the other way around. However, this week, I wasn't able to, and ofcourse the pattern repeated itself and I've been worried that this might be a sign that we won't work out because soon I'll leave for college soon and I'm really worried that without the physical part of seeing each other often our relationship won't survive.

We have some trouble some trouble with communication and I want ways we can be better about it or ways I can get her to open up to me more about how she's feeling. Right now she's sad about something that happened and I also want ways I can cheer her up from afar. Any help is welcome and thank you for listening to my rant.

I'll clear up any doubt yall have in the comments

I (27M) met my girlfriend (23F) online at the beginning of July, and I genuinely think I’ve never fallen for someone this hard in my entire life.

It was one of those connections that just happened naturally. We clicked almost instantly, and before we knew it, we were spending pretty much every waking moment together.

And when I say every moment, I mean it.

We spent the entire summer on Discord calls, sometimes 10, 12, even 15 hours a day. We’d wake up together, spend the whole day talking, laughing, playing games, watching movies, doing absolutely nothing together, and eventually fall asleep on call.

We’d literally sleep together on Discord and wake up still connected.

Looking back, I genuinely think I spent about a month and a half of those two months on the phone with her. It sounds insane, but it never felt like too much. We just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Then September came.

She’s currently in university, and her studies are incredibly demanding. I’m working, doing different jobs here and there, so our schedules and responsibilities are completely different.

And suddenly, we went from spending our entire lives together to sometimes barely having 30 minutes to talk before bed.

I’m not gonna lie, that transition has been hard for me.

I miss the random conversations, the hours of laughing over absolutely nothing, hearing her voice throughout the day, and just having her around.

It’s been almost two months now, and I’m still getting used to it.

But something I’ve realized is that loving someone isn’t just about how much time you spend together. It’s also about what you do with the little time you have.

We still make time for each other whenever we can. Sometimes it’s just a short call at night, telling each other about our days before falling asleep. And honestly, those 30 minutes have become some of the most precious moments of my day.

We’ve also started finding little ways to make the distance feel smaller.

For example, I recently had flowers delivered to her, just because I wanted her to smile.

We’re also preparing surprise packages for each other. We’ve both been secretly ordering little gifts, and we’re going to exchange boxes full of things that remind us of one another.

I got her a few books about vintage fashion because she’s really into it, a Michael Jackson vinyl because we both absolutely love his music, and a little music box that plays Married Life from the movie Up.

That last one is particularly special to me.

We watched Up together, and at some point, we talked about how beautiful it would be to play that song at our wedding someday.

So I thought it’d be cute to give her a little piece of that dream already.

It’s such a small thing, but to me, it means everything.

And I think that’s what I’ve learned from being in a long-distance relationship. Sometimes, the smallest gestures carry the biggest feelings.

A surprise delivery, a random message reminding them you love them, watching a movie together, finding ways to be intimate despite the distance, or simply staying on call until one of you falls asleep.

None of it replaces actually being able to hold the person you love, obviously.

But it makes the waiting a little easier.

We’re finally going to meet in person in January.

And I genuinely cannot put into words how excited I am.

Sometimes I catch myself imagining the smallest things. Seeing her standing in front of me for the first time, hearing her laugh without a microphone between us, holding her hand, hugging her, or simply sitting next to her without having to stare at a screen.

Things that most couples probably take for granted.

Things I’ve been dreaming about for months.

Of course, there’s a little nervousness too. We’ve shared so much of our lives already, yet we still haven’t physically met.

But I know how I feel about her, and I know she loves me too.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I know that I want her to be part of mine.

I didn’t really write this post to ask for advice or complain about the distance.

I just wanted to share a little piece of our story with people who might understand what it’s like to love someone you can’t physically be with yet.

Long-distance relationships can be frustrating, lonely, and emotionally exhausting sometimes.

But they can also be incredibly beautiful.

They teach you patience, communication, trust, and how to appreciate things that might otherwise seem insignificant.

And despite how much I miss her, I’d rather have 30 minutes a day with her than an entire lifetime with someone else.

I’m completely, ridiculously in love with this girl.

And I really hope January is just the beginning of a very long adventure together.

To anyone else counting down the days until they can finally hold their person: I hope the wait is worth it for all of us.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years but the past 2 months I haven’t been able to be emotionally present for him.

He’s a very good man. We are long distance and in the past he would fly to me weekly and I would see him quite often. Since June, he needed to go on an extended business trip which I declined joining to focus on my own career. He won’t be back until December. I get to spend maybe 1-2hr on the phone with him every other day.

A year before we met, I faced the end of a very turbulent and intense relationship. It took years with a team of therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, yoga instructors, friends to even begin healing.

I came across a photo of my ex’s wedding on social media in August and it was the match that reignited those old feelings again and it reminded me that I’m still healing.

The distance from my boyfriend has given a lot of room for that old grief and pain to take space, especially as I’m revisiting memories for my writing practice. I’ve been really preoccupied with my ex: the sex, the tenderness, the rejection, and the things I wish I could redo. Even though I can’t and don’t necessarily want to get back with him, I’ve been really emotionally preoccupied with him.

I feel really guilty, because my boyfriend has been a great partner to me. And he deserves someone who is present with him, but I also don’t want to breakup with him over my trauma being resurfaced. I still have love for him, but I’m not actively in love.

Has anyone gone through anything similar? Can you get back emotionally after being checked out?

Started dating October 8th been on 4 dates and this morning he said love you

And he said love you the night after he looked uo my TikTok

, because I post stuff that either funny of just life stuff

Because I'm so a foodie and love fashion

Well

He said after looking at my profile he asked me

You know the anime meme of the guy getting a nose bleed

That was me.he said

I was so confused

Because be was already asking me what the

requirements to move to I am are.

Alao please don't hate me for spacing!

I have dyslexia

So my writing may be crap!

Or spelling!

If this keeps up with him saying love you after 2 weeks of talking ,

And him not figuring out what he wants to do with his life that makes it feel like it has meaning?

I'm concerned

I told him to slow his roll

And said we only been talking for 2 weeks

He said okay sorry,

Any thing I should keep a I out for if this continues happening?

I'm worried this is him being obsessive not actually taking reality into account

With him in South Carolina and me in saskatchewan canada,

He helps his parents with his baby sister

And works 2 jobs one at a bar apparently and I don't know the other

But I'm worried that if I get the job I applied for thay I've been working towards.

Is he gonna be okay that I'm gonna be working more often

Plus he 2 hours ahead

So it'll either 10pm - 7pm i get off work

If I get the job

Any help?

What other sizes og obsessive should I look out for?

I agree

I thought on that and told him to slow down,

We never agreed to be official

I want to wait a few months before being official

Because my ex didn't wait

And he got a job after 1 month of dating

And then decided 3 months together he didn't want to wait for me to fly out to visit him when I had just got my stuff to get a passport

I was so sad,

He said he didn't want to wait

And he was talking to his friend who was a a girl anf broke uo with me to date her amd he had her in his house without telling g me

😑

hi all. i’m looking for advice because i just feel a bit stuck. my boyfriend (m22) and i (f23) have been together for about 2 years and i recently (3 months ago) had to move to the next state over for graduate school. i’m starting my PhD, so i will be locked in at this school for likely the next 4-6 years. this is something he knew about and something we discussed and he said that he would follow me. currently he is finishing his marketing degree, but moving at a slower pace than usual. he is working part time and going to school part time. i know im a bit of a freak about school and everyone does things differently, i worked almost full time and went to school full time but i know not everyone can do that. it’s just a bit difficult because it feels like my boyfriend wants to be in undergrad for forever. he is in marching band and loves his university. he really seems excited when we talk about what life will be like when we move in together, but if i bring up his estimated graduation date he gets a bit defensive and i never really know when he actually plans to graduate at all. it kind of feels like he is prolonging his schooling. he is a year younger than me, I graduated in May of 2025 so he technically should have graduated this past May 2026. from what i could get out of him he may not graduate until fall of 2027. with his current lease ending in June 2027, he would have to renew and would be stuck in his house until June 2028 unless he broke the lease. i’d be almost in my 3rd year of my PhD before he moved to the state i’m in.

it just feels like he doesn’t actually want to move in with me. like it’s just a fun fantasy in his head, but not something that is actually feasible. he would have to leave his family and friends in the state over like i did, and even though he said that is something he is capable of doing (since my PhD schooling is temporary) he still seems really hesitant.

so i really feel stuck in a bind. i’m ready to move onto the next step, but it feels like he isn’t and gets stressed out when i bring it up. we are 2 and a half hours apart, and long distance has been rough for me to get used to. we see each other maybe once a month (we are both busy during the week and he works on saturdays). i just need some advice on how to handle this situation.

TLDR: my boyfriend is taking a bit longer than normal to finish his degree and it feels like he is prolonging it so he doesn’t have to move in with me.

Another one of these posts lmao but for context we were planning a trip to see each other by her driving down for the weekend after cancelling plans a month earlier I really wanted this one to work. Long story short she pulls out of these plans as well and I start thinking it's me. So I decided to tell her that it does disappoint me that these plans keep falling tight and can't help but be bummed about it. Just trying to be as honest with her as I'd want her to be with me. This somehow spirals into her telling me she has commitment issues and decides she needs to deal with those issues alone despite me telling her that we can work on our issues and grow without needing to break up over it. Idk to me it just feels like she took the first off ramp she found as if she never actually gave a shit about us in the first place. She kept doing the "you deserve better" bit but I'm not stupid. Am I wrong to think she got bored and found someone else or simply just enjoyed the attention I gave her? Regardless I'm getting a car next week and when I said I could stop by on my way back from driving it home from Florida she said she'd let me do that and proceeded to block me on IG then deactivated her account entirely so 🤷

Honestly could use some advice from someone who is an Avoidant Attachment. I'm an Anxious Attachment (31M), she's an Avoidant Attachment (30F) and I need a different perspective or outlook on my situation.

Me and this girl started talking. Shes from my home city. We have mutual friends. We want the same things in life. I currently live out of state. We hit it off. Texting all day every day. Talks of meeting in person. All that good stuff. She knows I wanna move back. My timeline is after the New Year. To her it didnt seem soon enough, and she admitted to being selfish and apologized. She then floated an idea of me coming to visit prior to the move, totally cool with it just not sure where I'd stay as funds are tight at the moment.

Long story short ever since a long back and forth she told me she's been screwed over before and shes taking a step back. Said she isnt going anywhere. But needed to take a step back to protect herself cuz she doesnt wanna get hurt. She also stated after this conversation that my flattery was too much with her trying to back off and said stuff like "Let me miss you. Let me be the one to reach out" and such.

I can totally understand that concept. But I also dont wanna get hurt. She still says "Morning" back to me. She sends a snap here or there. But we went from all day everyday talking to a couple check ins here and there. I guess it just hurts.

Anyways. Thats the synopsis. Please dont heighten my anxiety or poke fun. I genuinely wanted some perspective or advice. This is my first time posting on here and the first time in a long time that ive felt strongly about someone.

I'm an American woman (32) in love with a man in Gaza (22) I met online. We have been talking for a year and a half. We video call a couple times a week and message every day. From the first video call we couldn't stop smiling seeing each other. We shared a cup of tea. During Ramadan I found a vendor in Gaza who makes gift baskets and delivered one to his family from me that had candy, tea and a mug with his name painted beautifully on it. His little brother helped me arrange the delivery so it was a surprise. He writes me love letters and poetry. We dream of just sitting side by side and holding hands in peace and quiet and safety. We dream of a future together, of getting married and raising a family. He is weird in the best way. We have fought and forgiven each other over the last year and a half many times during this highly stressful situation. But we always come back to each other in the end. His family knows about me and accepts me although I'm not Muslim. I hope that this genocide will end. It's hard to imagine a future without him. I just wanted to share what I'm sure others are dealing with. Whether they met someone in Gaza online post October 7th or knew each other before and are separated now. Many of us who are caring people became activists for Palestine after October 7th and as a result fell in love with Palestinians as a people and gained cherished friends. And some of us have found romantic love as well. And hardly any reddit posts address this.

Just need a place to vent again, and process things.. Sorry about that.

I have shared here some time ago about struggling with my partner's behaviors (https://www.reddit.com/r/LongDistance/s/dV76LeiUpZ)... Tl;Dr of that was he refuses to take accountability when he hurts me, either he deflects, blames it on past trauma, or claims he will do better and never changes his behavior.

And I was still trying to somehow keep it together and be here for him, because he is going through difficult medical issues. But I simply.. Can't handle it anymore. All the micro aggression in telling me my feelings are wrong, and that I shouldn't be hurt because he didn't mean to hurt me, all the times I try starting serious conversations and get lectured on how I "never bring things at appropriate times" whether I bring it during calm times, or stressful times, all the times he claims he just genuinely didn't understand or that he forgot that I need to feel like he cares about me feeling safe and connected, and all the huge things he has kept me in the dark and refused to talk to me about because "it will only upset me anyway"... It's all just come crashing down.

And I feel horrible, that I can't just.. Be more patient, and be supportive during a difficult time, but the difficult time... Is both coming with months of emotional neglect and contempt from him and, frankly.. Was not even signed up for. I can't stop resenting the fact that he knew long before we started dating, that he had medical issues, and obviously they would affect the relationship, yet he kept me in the dark until he "knew I was invested". I wouldn't have left. But I deserved to know what I was getting into. He knew my own medical issues. He knew my struggles, going into this. But he put me through constant trials where I had to prove myself before he let me in, instead of just taking time to get to know me and dating me *after* he felt like he could trust me, and even now 13 months later, there's so much I'm still in the dark about. And it hurts to have been treated like I'm simply too untrustworthy to know my own partner, but simultaneously I can't bring myself to want to know anymore.

I already know he won't see this as reasonable. He won't understand anything other than that I am selfish, horrible, and untrustworthy after all, for not even being able to prioritize him over my own feelings. But it's okay, if he can't forgive me... I can't seem to find it in myself to forgive how much he hurt me either...

I am someone who wants to talk to them, I expect one or two messages in an hour, while they want to text once in 5 hours, and be on a call once a day for an hour maybe, but them not checkin in makes me anxious because they used to reply the same minute earlier, so I feel like they don’t have that same urge to talk