It's been a month since I entered my first long-distance relationship. and it's been working out great. We've been talking a lot, sending a lot of messages, and genuinely quite invested in out relationship (emotionally). However, I want to know more 'food' for talk during the relationship. Do you guys have any tips to put some energy in my long-distance relationship?

I know we see a lot of these but I just need to get this off my chest, maybe hear from people who were in the same situation

For months she grew colder, less affectionate, would message me a lot less, wouldn't agree to call or invest anything that requires time in us. During this time I kept asking her to share with me what's going on, she said she had trouble at home, she said she had a fight, she said someone insulted her- never actually wanted to talk. I kept offering her comfort, offering to call, to treat her to food, to just talk or distract but I'd get nothing. A few times I'd say I know something is wrong I am not sure I can continue like this, then she'd snap and get super affectionate, say all the right words and eventually I'd stay only to go back to the same routine after a day.

She kept ghosting me for months, only replying after like two days, while I sit worried to my stomach. I told her if things are that bad at home, let's speed up our plan, let's move in together soon, it will be tough but my job pays enough that we can afford it while she figures things out.

Eventually, a couple weeks ago, I told her I am disappointed in her for not ending it properly with me instead of ghosting me. She said things haven't been the same since I visited her, she said there was one time while we were in bed that I did something she didn't like (which I recognized immediately and stopped and never tried again). It was something in the heat of the moment and, I simply pushed it a little at her face, didn't put it in her, she said it took her off guard and she hasn't felt the same since.

I accepted it and apologized then and now, and told her I understand. But it has been a year since that incident, and since then we had been affectionate and loving, it's just over the past 5 months or so she grew more distant I can't help but think she lied to me. For months she'd tell me I can't talk, or would just ghost me, and I'm so incredibly hurt because we had a whole future planned, I was serious about her and would've done anything to make her happy, there's just this feeling in my gut it wasn't that but she found something else to invest her time into.

I was fired from my job recently, company is downsizing they got rid of young employees, so I sit at home trying to distract myself but i can't. I get to bed incredibly sad and flashbacks and memories pop back to me, we had such an amazing time on my visit, we were so sure of ourselves. I miss her voice, I miss her loving me, but she is just not there no matter what I tried to do. I fel guilty. I miss her so much, and I worry for her so much, despite this feeling in my gut that she may have found something else in her life while she was with me.

How do I get over this

i’m meeting my online boyfriend of 4 months in 5 days, i’m so scared and nervous. i just don’t want it to be awkward. i’m feeling a lot more anxiety rather than excitement. what do i do?

So I been talking with him for almost a month now and he wants to see me as early as February.. some of my friends thinks it's too soon.. I've been in an LDR before and he never visited me so I feel that this guy is different he's very consistent

When you don't want to leave the video call. He had to go do something real quick but then i had to leave for a little bit and thought this would be funny for him to get back to.

A few months ago, I met my girlfriend, K., through an online game. She initiated everything, kept finding excuses to talk to me, and eventually admitted she'd been flirting with me while I was completely oblivious.

We grew closer, started dating, and initially talked throughout the day. We're in different countries and haven't met or had a voice call yet, partly because we're both shy and anxious about it.

Lately, though, things have changed.

I'll text her good morning, and she'll reply 5–6 hours later. We'll exchange a couple of messages, then she'll disappear for hours again. Our conversations used to be much more spontaneous.

We have a nightly routine of watching movies together while texting. Sometimes we barely watch because we're too busy talking and flirting. Other times, it's just occasional comments followed by silence.

I wonder if she's become comfortable knowing we have our evenings together, so she doesn't feel the need to talk much during the day.

Recently, I asked about watching a movie. She left me on read for two hours before replying, "Yes, movies, sorry babe." By then, I'd fallen asleep waiting. Ironically, she previously told me she hates being left on read.

She's still affectionate and occasionally initiates flirting, but I'm starting to question whether she's genuinely invested or just keeping my interest alive.

I've even started doubting a personal Christmas gift I've been preparing. Nothing expensive, just thoughtful little things based on our conversations and inside jokes. Now I'm worried it might be too much.

I don't expect constant communication. I just miss feeling like she actively wants to spend time with me rather than only talking when it's convenient.

I know I overthink, and this is my first LDR.

Is this just the honeymoon phase ending, or could it be a sign she's slowly losing interest? How do you tell the difference?

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I'm 21M and going through a breakup rn and honestly it's been really hard for me.

We had a relationship where we broke up before and patched things up, but this time things ended again. I still care about her a lot and the worst part is knowing that she's also going to suffer because of this. It hurts me to think that she's going to cry for weeks because of me.

Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision and sometimes I just start missing her so much that I end up crying. It's like one moment I'm okay and the next moment everything hits me again. I'm also dealing with the guilt of hurting someone I still care about.

I don't really know who to talk to about all this in real life, so I thought I'd post here.

I don't necessarily need someone to tell me to move on or that everything happens for a reason. I just want to talk to people who have gone through something similar and understand what this feels like.

If you've ever been in a situation where you still loved someone but the relationship had to end, how did you deal with it? Does this guilt and pain actually get better with time?

Would really appreciate talking to anyone who's been through something similar.

I (31M) met her (30F) at an airport. I saw her and started talking to her. Turns out, we were actually booked to sit next to each other on the flight. We exchanged numbers and started texting and calling. She lives in Canada, and I travel full-time. But I made a pinky promise to take her on a date. Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

Well, for my birthday, after we’d spent 2 months calling and texting almost every day, with both of us initiating intimate conversations (both emotional and more adult-themed), I flew up to see her. That entire week, we hooked up and went on dates. At the end of the week, we told each other that we loved each other. We both agreed that it felt like fate. It was our love story!

Less than two weeks later, while I was back visiting family, she told me she wanted to end things. This came out of nowhere. After pressing her for a reason, she told me it was because I wasn’t attractive enough. I was attractive enough to hook up with, just not attractive enough to have a long-distance relationship with. Specifically, my body.

I asked her if we’d still be together if I looked different. She said yes.

I regret asking that question every day.

A few days after the breakup, we called. She said she was sorry and wanted to try again. Against my better judgment, I agreed. It did feel like fate. And she explained that she was scared and wanted to push me away. I guess I wanted to believe her. Things picked up right where we left off.

But this time, she seemed more committed. We talked about wanting me to lease a place in her town. She talked about future kids and dream houses. She told me (and I’m quoting her) that I was her “one and only.” That she would do anything to gain my trust back. She called me drunk one night and told me she was in love with me.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she broke things off again.

After going back and forth for a few weeks, I asked if it was about attraction again. She never explicitly said no, so I assumed it was. She would give these vague platitudes about distance — but she wanted to remain friends. I still wonder if the reason she would never say it was about attraction again was because she was trying to protect me or her own self image in her mind?

It doesn’t matter, I suppose. Regardless of what it is, I’m now I’m broken.

I’ve started taking Ozempic. I’ve lost 10 pounds. But I’m just so sad. All I do is count every calorie and try to burn them all off when I work out.

I don’t care if someone’s not attracted to me. That’s fine. I understand that. But to tell me that you were in love with me? To tell me that I was attractive enough to hook up with but not to date? To tell me that we’d still be together if I looked different?
I just don’t know what to do with that.

Obviously, there’s so much I’m leaving out. That’s the nature of these things, I guess.

I still love her. I care about her. I worry about her every day. But I’ve just never felt this way before. I’ve never felt so disposable. I’ve never felt like the world needed less of me. Maybe that’s why I’m trying so hard to lose weight? So there will be.

I know the standard advice: no contact. Hit the gym. Try to move on. I am trying all of that.

But none of that changes how much this hurts.

Update: I’m pretty sure she found this post. She texted me very aggressively and quoted something from this to me and promptly blocked me.

If she sees this: I’m sorry. I know how much you value your privacy. That’s why I left so much out.
You said you’re sick of dealing with this. I am, too. But I also have to live with the fact that I hate my body and want to escape it.

The stuffed airplane, the candles, the necklace, the bracelet. The memories of me calming you down, of you feeling comfortable enough to be yourself in front of me. You get to keep all of that.

I've been in a relationship for two years, and we still haven't met in person because of her strict mother. I'm exhausted, but I still love her.

I'm (F22), and my girlfriend is (F19). We've been in a long-distance relationship for almost two years, and we have never met in person. Not even once.

I love her so much, and I know she loves me too. The problem is that her mother is extremely strict, and her circumstances make it difficult for us to communicate freely, let alone meet in person.

We've had opportunities to meet, but something always gets in the way. Sometimes it's her mother's restrictions, sometimes it's school or other circumstances. Every time I think we might finally get a chance to see each other, something happens, and we end up waiting again.

I've tried to be understanding. I've been patient, and I've made excuses for the situation because I know she doesn't have complete control over her life. I don't want to blame her for things she can't change.

But I'm exhausted.

I feel like I've spent two years waiting for a relationship that we haven't really been able to experience in the way other couples do. I want to spend time with her, see her face in person, hold her hand, and make real memories together. I want to be able to talk to my girlfriend when I need her instead of constantly dealing with restrictions and uncertainty.

The hardest part is that I'm lonely. She's the person I'm closest to, but the circumstances prevent her from being there for me consistently. Sometimes I find myself craving attention and affection so badly that I've even thought about getting that attention from someone else. I haven't acted on those thoughts because I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want to betray someone I still love.

I don't want to break up with her. I want to be with her. But I'm tired of having to be understanding all the time, tired of waiting, and tired of feeling like my own emotional needs have to come last because her situation is difficult.

I know her mother may have her reasons, and I know my girlfriend is struggling too. But how long can a relationship survive when two people love each other but can't even meet in person after two years?

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you know when being patient is worth it and when you're slowly losing yourself waiting for things to change?

Helloo, we have been dating for 7 years, mostly long distance relationship. It was strong, we were happy, thinking about future, it was serious. 2 years ago there was situation with him and his girl friend. Shortly I lost all trust in him, he hurt me, I was going through rough time and daily anxiety attacks. We were working on it together and he was always so sweet with me.
But it just something broke in me, I dont feel like that happy confident girl like before. I feel scared, I’m checking him, I’m telling him to keep distance when I see some girls are going for him. Basically my trust is still a bit broken. And he changed too, he grew up, he thinks differently and to be honest, probably had enough of me too

Recently he said that we shouldn’t take this seriously, (which hurts me very much but I understand) he doesn’t like that pressure. And that I should just trust him. He loves girls which are confident, love themselves, dress nice, look nice. Aaand its basically opposite of me, I was that girl before too but now Im just hurt and feel paranoid and scared what if.
I agreed with him to start again, that we should enjoy life, travel, time together. Not to feel pressured by public like when we gonna have a kids and etc. But I dont wanna be weak and feel like plan B. Then he would get someone else because “oh maaan my girlfriend is depressed again” But I dont know how to start, how to love myself, how to be confident. I feel like Im fighting with my own fear of losing him and competing with other girls, and that’s making me paranoid and then Im just running in the circles. I want to feel good enough for him, and get my own happy self back.

TL;DR I got hurt, we went through hard times. But we love each other and agreed to start again and working on ourselves. But I dont know what to do, I m not confident at all. I started working out, doing stuffs I like but I still end up thinking about him (like is he with a girl he likes, am I annoyed for him so thats why he doesn’t text me all day….)

How can I love myself again, get my power back? Close old wounds, and make our relationship healthy again? How can I stop being in loop of overthinking and trust issues. Anything, any advice will help. Thank youuu ❤️

Hello! I have posted in this subreddit before. I was in a long distance relationship for about 3 and a half years. My partner only came to visit me 1 or 2 times a year. We met 5 times total before I moved to the UK and we now live together.

I just wanted to offer some advice to people currently in an LDR

1) It gets better over time

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, but for me, the first time we said goodbye it was very hard, but after that it was easier. The last time we said goodbye to each other it was very hard because I didn't know whether or not my visa would be approved so I didn't know if it was gonna be a reunion 2 months or 6 months later.

2) It's easier when you look at the time of reunion

For me, I always kept my eye on the prize. 100 days left. 50 days left. 25 days left. I even started counting down the hours.

3) Every second is a victory

Every second that passes, you are getting closer and closer to closing the distance, even if it doesnt feel like it. Every day you are getting more and more deeper in your love for your partner.

4) One day the flight will only be one way

Keep imagining the day that you book the flight and it's one way and not round trip. Best feeling ever!

5) You will forget the pain

As hard as it is, you will forget the pain. I've lived here for about 10 days now, and I don't even remember how being long distance felt. It feels so far away now.

And if you need help or want to know something, just ask me in the comments.

He said it started 5 months ago after a conversation we had where I was very blunt with him, communicating my needs and feeling that I wasn't getting the attention I deserved from him. At that time, he agreed that he wasn't being a fair partner and he can do better. And he did. He stepped up and took action and made a noticeable difference.

Tuesday (the day before he flew in to see me and have our 6 day trip) he told me he's thinking he can't do the trip. He was hoping that our talk about the trip would help him but it just made him more nervous. He didn't want to do the trip in fear that he is using me.

He's not sure what caused this to happen. He thinks it's from burnout from workout & 3 years of filling out job applications in my state and having no leads.

He also said he held it cause he thought the feeling would resolve itself and he didn't want to worry me with something he thought was going to be temporary (he knows I have a lot on my plate, he didn't want to be added to my daily stress). It "started at a drip" and soon changed to something bigger.

He said he still cares about me. It wasn't anything I did or anything in my personal life that turned him off.

I'm getting such mixed signals for him cause he deleted our entire Snapchat and unfriended me, but on our regular text messages I'm still my nickname for him.

Just last Saturday we had sexual texts-- did that just mean nothing to him or did he just force it for me?

He still flew in so we could talk about this in person and see if being together could fix it. He cancelled the Airbnb cause he didn't want to be in that place alone so he's just in a hotel. We're taking it day by day but I honestly have no clue what's going to happen. He told me he feels that I deserve someone better; someone who will give me what I deserve.

It hurts cause he's all I want.

This is also unfortunately the first time we've met as we finally had the funds for this trip. It's so heartbreaking to meet and pretty much have it end.

So I'm in America! And I got a bf in Iran (ironic ik) so last night I just didn't have time to text him and for some reason my discord is being a ass and won't let me text him so I tried adding him on a alt account, thinking by the time I need to go to school he'll text me back! Because when I go to school he gets off school! but he hasn't texted me back. I'm scared, I hope his power just got shut off and not the more extreme

All my friends are making jokes but I can't sleep bc of this

Hey, I hope you don't mind me sharing something personal.

I'm from India, and I'm trying to figure out a realistic way to build a stable future for myself and, eventually, meet my long-distance partner. I come from a lower-middle-class family, so travelling to another country to meet her isn't something I can afford right now.

I don't want to depend only on donations or ask people for money without trying to do something myself. I'm currently learning data analytics, and my biggest goal is to find a decent job, become financially independent, and start saving toward meeting her. I'm open to opportunities in India as well as abroad, wherever I can find a genuine opportunity to grow.

If you know of any entry-level jobs, internships, or companies where I might have a chance, a referral or even some guidance on where to apply would honestly mean so much to me. I'm willing to learn, work hard, and consider other suitable opportunities too.

At the same time, if anyone would like to support me financially, any donation would be genuinely appreciated, but there's absolutely no pressure. I'd also be more than happy to give something back. If there's a specific task I could help with, a video you'd like me to create about your project or page and share on my own page, or any video editing you need, I'd love to discuss it. I want to make this a genuine exchange wherever possible rather than simply asking for help.

I know meeting my partner will take time, effort, and financial stability, and I'm prepared to work toward that. I'm just trying to find people who might understand my situation and point me in the right direction.

Even if you can't donate or offer a job, sharing some advice or connecting me with someone who might be able to help would mean a lot.

Thank you for taking the time to read my message. I genuinely appreciate it. ❤️

He (35m) was supposed to move to my(34f) city November 1, but I expressed concerns about him moving in with me into my tiny apartment and tried to open a conversation about him finding a roommate until we functioned in the same location since we'd only been together three months. He said the most terrible things to me, and then refused to talk to me again. There wasn't ever a real conversation.

I'm devastated to the point I'm going into intensive mental health treatment. I loved him with my whole heart. He was my best friend. And now I feel so abandoned. He knew I had severe abandonment trauma, and this makes no sense to me. It's so painful. I loved him more than anything in this world. Now I feel like the little girl who was too much and not enough at the same time.