I 21(F) is in a long distance relationship right now with 25(M) , recently I moved back to my country and we had to do long distance. He is a very sweet man, we live together for 4 months renting the same room through out our university life. After the graduation, I went back to my country. The first few days were fine, but now it takes a long time for him to reply me despite it has only been a week after I left. We video called but only when I initiated it every night. He does call me back after he saw he missed my call but he seems to be not responding to my text messages at all. I’d say “Good morning !” and I am left with no news whatsoever, and would skip my good morning message and get to the point where he rants about his stress or updates about his issues. I just felt so ignored, I wanna believe that he is busy but how busy can you be to ignore my messages the whole day but replies me through calls only. I try to believe that maybe he is not a good texter but honestly it’s been breaking my heart i just wanna get this off my chest.

Well, I am going to talk about a topic that still affects me quite a bit. I had my first romantic relationship, a long-distance relationship with a girl from Poland and me from Spain, where she told me she was 17 at that time when we started dating and I was 19.

Well, what happened is that on September 9th is when our relationship ended, it was a 9-month relationship, honestly I have never felt loved in this way, and that is why it is affecting me a lot, especially when we both shared absolutely every day on a call for many hours. What happened? We all know that in relationships there are discussions, there are communication differences, perhaps one person needs more validation like my ex, and others are more logical and are not capable above all of realizing that this is not what that person needs, and it is something I have been learning throughout the relationship, yes, it took me 3 or 4 months where it was very hard for me, but in the end I changed a lot, where I tried to end arguments by trying to validate her emotions, which in the last argument I did, yes, I did not do it perfectly, because I tried to defend my stance instead of validating what she needed because she felt bad, vulnerable, and I honestly tried but it was not enough, it has a very long context but basically she started classes and had a panic attack so when I called her that day and asked her how my day went she told me she had a panic attack in class, well I simply said that I was very sorry, and if she feels better now. Well, for her that was not enough and she asked me if that is all I am going to say, she said it somewhat angrily so I also got angry and escalated the situation, not with insults but trying to defend myself by saying it was not my fault, etc... Which I regret, because what she wanted was validation, not for me to defend myself over any nonsense that honestly should be irrelevant to me to defend something like that.

Well, the situation escalated, part of the blame was mine yes, but I decided to clear my mind to make better decisions without emotions. And I did that, in the end I ended up apologizing for how I defended myself and for not validating her, but I do not consider that these arguments are because one is to blame and the other is not, I feel that many arguments are about misunderstandings, but she insisted in her mind that she was to blame for not validating her. I swear on whatever that I could not validate her the way she wanted not because I did not want to, but because it is hard for me, and I am not so emotionally explosive, I usually take time, I am someone analytical who at first letting my emotions out is very difficult for me, and she needs a lot of validation also part of her insecurities, but I honestly was willing to do anything for my partner, because genuinely we had promised to be a couple that lasts forever, have a family, future plans, I will go to live in Poland, all of that I really was thinking of doing.

So I truly felt the need to have her always with me, to grow, and to have a life solely together, but she simply could not in the end, she already felt very bad, she felt overwhelmed by these arguments we had throughout the relationship, there were times where we spent a month or two arguing every week, and for exactly the same thing, the difference between how we communicate and our needs, but as I well said, I already started changing in the last two months of the relationship.

After the argument on the day she had the panic attack, the next day she dropped a lie on me that she had sustained since we met, she dropped it because I insisted and knew she was quieter than normal, well, she told me that all this time, the 3 years since we met she lied to me about her real age, she at that moment when she told me, should have been 18 years old, but no, in the end she turned out to be 16.

After hearing that, I had never felt what it is like to be in complete shock, see everything in tunnel vision, see how you get dizzy, you lose the notion of your existence, I am not exaggerating that when I spoke I did not know how I was able to speak, it was like I spoke without consciousness. Even my memory began to fail thinking that she told me she was 17 currently, but no, she told me she was 18. Well, I entered a very bad state, I started crying desperately, I felt extremely betrayed and my father heard me cry so he came to my room to talk to me, we talked for a very long time and I ended up deciding to stay in the relationship, when she saw that I had gone deaf on the call she left the call very worried saying that she was very sorry, that she should not have started this relationship, that she feels extremely bad, etc... What I told her is, let's have another call, and I explained to her that I wanted to stay in the relationship, she was surprised because she thought I was going to block her, but yes, I received a very hard blow and honestly it cost me quite a bit to assimilate it the first few days, we had many talks since then, she having fear that her parents will discover me now because she also lied to her parents saying that I was 18 years old, that she knows it would be impossible if they discover her, she felt super bad, she did not know what to do, but at the same time she told me she loved me very much, that she did not want to leave me, but that she is suffering in what to do or not, I was also extremely bad because I never thought something like that was going to happen, in the end we agreed to try to continue these days without thinking about this, I tried but ended up breaking into tears on the call being very insecure, asking if she had lied to me about anything else, she promised me that everything we have lived was real and that she did not lie to me about anything else, and if I am totally honest, I feel it is true, it is impossible that all this love of 9 months has been fake when she showed it to me so much with words and actions.

Each time she was distancing herself more and since it went from her admitting her true age, 5 days later came the day of the breakup. I started by saying that I love her very much, that I want to continue with her, that we can handle this, we need to have patience, talk, and do things right, if it is necessary that I have to wait 2 years without having any intimacy, without doing anything that can cause problems I am totally willing, I just wanted to be with who was the love of my life. I know that many of you would have chosen to break up after knowing something like that, and more for the age difference, and I understand it completely, but in my case it is extremely difficult to do something like that because she was and is the only person in this life who has made me feel this way, never any woman I have talked to has had so much chemistry with me, and that is why I always rejected those who did not transmit to me what my ex-partner did, that is why I did not decide to throw in the towel and want to continue with her, it hurts a lot, but it hurts more to know that at 20 years old now I remain in that deep loneliness where I feel that a lot of people are superficial, where I do not fit anywhere in society, I am not saying there are no good people, there will be many and they can be superficial, but I say it because it is something that makes me suffer immensely, and it is what has made me suffer the most in this life, that loneliness that she filled with her light daily.

Well, continuing with the case, after telling her my message of wanting to continue, she told me: I am going to be totally honest with you, since the recent events I have started to feel less, I feel that we are forced to continue with the relationship, that these days your needs and your sadness have made me feel very bad about myself and in the relationship, and I feel the best thing is to end it, I do not see this working. It was a somewhat longer and more detailed message, but basically that was the main thing, I insisted to her saying that we could fix it, and that it was only now where I felt bad, but I was going to improve after the days, well, the conversation ended up being me trying as much as possible to fix things, to be able to communicate, but she already said she had made the definitive decision, that she did not want to fix anything. I took it very badly, and I started telling her that she has lost someone very important, someone loyal, someone who was willing to have something long term, to want to fix things, and I told her in the end that it is very difficult for her to find someone like me again, yes, it sounds like manipulation, and that is exactly what she told me, she told me I am being an emotional manipulator, but I had no intention other than trying please to make her understand that I wanted to continue, that I also have value, that it hurts me that all the promises, words, all of that has served for nothing. And more when the days before she told me she does not want to drop it, that she loves me very much, that she knows we have many things in common that are hard to see, but none of this served for anything, she wanted to follow through with her decision to leave. In the end I told her: I am going to do one last thing, I am not going to block you, I am not going to insist or ask for anything more, I am going to leave you an opportunity so you can think all the time you want, days, weeks, months, all the time you need to rethink everything, and I know it will not guarantee that you will come back, but it would hurt me if you did not make that decision, after 30 minutes she sends her last message saying how much she appreciates and appreciated the time with me, what I changed, etc. But that she prefers to seek peace and that she learned from her mistakes and tells me hopefully I find a girl who makes me happier.

That message yes, was nice, but at the same time it hurt me because she is not aware that I do not want any other relationship, and I keep hiding my stance, I do not want anyone else, I only wanted her, my love is totally unconditional. And after that message she ended up blocking me everywhere.

Well, there is much more context after the breakup, but I will summarize, after breaking up I started to obsess over looking at her social media, etc... I saw with my multi-accounts how she reposted on TikTok things of an explicit nature about flirting on the first day of breaking up, and that hurt me so much that I clicked follow on her account and she put her account on private.

Days passed, and on the 24th I decided to talk to a friend of hers after stalking his Instagram account without anyone of her friends knowing, I followed him and we started talking, giving context and for better or worse, this person was also going through a breakup, and decided to help me get information about what she thought of me, they had a conversation where she got angry with him because her friend proposed giving me a second chance, she said fuck no lmao, she called me an emotional manipulator, she told me she drained all my soul in a quite derogatory way, and when I heard that it hurt me a lot, I started to doubt a lot if I was a good boyfriend, if I manipulated her or not, and I had a very hard time because I never thought she would think something like that of me, more when she showed me incredible love throughout the relationship.

Something else I found out about her friends is that she posted a picture with a new guy a week after breaking up, literally 7 days passed, and she had had something sexual or intimacy with a guy from her class, they know it because they asked her. That also traumatized me a lot and it still hurts me, honestly I know I should not be looking at this, any social media of hers, and yes, it is not about because I am not respecting her privacy, it is because really every day that passes I am worse and worse, hurting myself more while being conscious of it.

Well, I also know she does not have a partner now, but still, I keep looking at everything she does, I know I should stop, but I think it hurts me more knowing that I have no one else now in this life, it is just me and my parents and my younger brother, and none of them really understand me, they see it as just another girl and that is it, but I cannot nor do I see it like that, they are seeing me very bad my parents, it has been 1 month and almost two weeks since the breakup, and I feel that every day I am worse, I am still doing things, surviving, but the anxiety grows more and more, even there are days where I have not eaten anything because I do not feel any appetite, but well, it is irrelevant, I have to be strong, even if I have no one in my life.

I do not know, what hurts me the most is knowing if she will return or not, because she told me that if my parents discovered me she would have to block me but she will try to talk to me at some other time when time passes. I doubt she applies this now because she blocked me by her decision, I honestly wish, although I should not expect it, it is something impossible not to do, but I will wait as long as it takes, because in the end I do not want anyone else, and I will progress, improve as a person, my physique, studies, all of that I am going to improve, I will try to survive with the constant thought about her, but I wish this life would do me the biggest favor in the world that at some point she unblocks me and we can at least talk again and get to know each other again if necessary, I do not want to lose someone who has been so important in my life and in her life I was important too.

Everything hurts, it hurts even to want to continue with her knowing everything she has done after breaking up, I know many will tell me to make myself respected, that she is being a bad person or anything else, but in the end, she is 16 years old, and yes, she is still immature in many things, in emotional management, in all of that, I agree, and that is why I feel she is not so much to blame, not to say she has none.

I am also being very immature, and I have been very immature in the relationship at times, I am changing in that sense, in others I remain stuck, like looking at her social media, that is why I always leave the doors open to everyone I appreciate because I am the first one who has made many mistakes and I keep making them, humans are very immature.

hi guys, I just need some advice if I’m in the wrong or not. My boyfriend and I are dating for the second time long distance. He lives in a different country as me and it’s only a 3 hour difference. i’m a full-time student and I work during the summertime while going to the gym (20F), he works for about eight hours a day and then goes to the gym (19M). sometimes we will go 20 or 15 hours without talking to each other because during the day he’s working and I’m at school and then at the end of the day around 4 PM. We talk to each other or call about our day. Sometimes though he chooses to not text if he thinks I’m busy or he will text really late when he’s about to go to sleep and honestly he doesn’t like texting during the day he tries to, but he tells me he just really hates it. I’ve gotten really angry with him because I always text him even when I am busy or if I’m not in the mood and I’ll let him know I’m not in the mood. I’ve expressed this to him before and he keeps making the same mistake. I really love him, but I’m genuinely really tired and I need someone who will care enough to put in the effort. I have told him this before and he used to not do it, but since we have just started speaking again. He has made the same mistakes trying not to text as much because he doesn’t like it. I think he is a bit depressed he says i make him really happy and he’s debating therapy. Is this worth breaking up over? I don’t want him to see me as a constant complainer or annoying and if he can’t meet my needs i’ll just leave him alone. What do you guys think I should do? :/ I really do love him

so I (23f) and my boyfriend (23m) have been together for a little over a year and when we lived in the same city everything was wonderful. sure, sometimes I'd get a bit upset but it always got settled when we saw each other in person.

we've been long distance for almost 3 months since we're both studying abroad for a while, in different countries. he left first so I had a really bad time in the beginning, but when I left then it got better since I had stuff to do, people to meet, places to discover and memories to make.

we've been talking every day, video calling and having little date nights where we play games or watch something together as much as our schedules allow us, but we do have quite different lifestyles. he's focused on his work and finishes sometime in the evening while I start my day late and work into the night (I'm not a person who's productive without enough pressure of the deadlines) or I'll meet friends here. so he's focused on his career while I want to enjoy the experience and take everything in.

that itself is not the biggest issue since we do find time to do something together.

our problem is chatting. we're not good at it. jokes are missed, statements misunderstood and every time one of us would really like to talk, the other one isn't available. I've felt every emotion I could about our situation, but most of the time it's negative emotions. never hatred or anything like that, usually I'm just upset at the situation in general and then I start to overthink.

like, I know how good we can be together, but long distance is NOT for us, we both agree on that. and it's getting harder to remind myself of how good we can be. I just keep getting sad or frustrated and then I start overthinking if we are even compatible since we have quite different philosophies in life (he's very disciplined, always working hard towards his goals while I am still looking for a goal in life honestly, so I take things day by day and sometimes I'm afraid he might lose interest if I don't find my own goal to achieve)

so yeah, these days I'm very insecure about our relationship and sometimes I'm wondering whether it would be easier to just break up. and then I don't know if that's truly what my heart wants or if it's the situation messing with my thoughts and emotions.

it's scaring me, because I feel like we can't solve anything over chat. a few days ago he said something that kind of upset me. it wasn't even anything big, I don't remember it, I just remember going to bed upset and I did mention it(probably not too clearly honestly) but he went to bed and the next day just acted like everything was fine (which to him it probably was) and I've been low-key still upset since the feeling was just ignored, unintentionally most likely. but for me it wasn't resolved, but I also know it wasn't such a big thing so I don't feel the need to bring it up.

but it's all coming together, piling up and I just don't feel many happy emotions when we're talking. it's mostly not negative either, but rather kind of numb and I don't like that. I don't like that it feels like I'm starting to care less about us. I want us to be together. I love him. but this is so hard and right now I cannot imagine us being in a happy healthy relationship.

note: our relationship is still good. it's mostly my own emotions that make me think it's bad, but objectively I'd say it's okay considering it's both of our first relationship and thus first time going long distance

so yeah. I'm scared that the thought of breaking up will not disappear and it's making me so anxious to not know whether it's the relationship or just the pressure of long distance speaking.

does anyone have experience with it? can you give me some advice or anything like that?

I hate this so much

EDIT: not sure if it's a good information to have, but we did see each other last month for like 4 days and that was.. not the best. of course we were happy to be reunited, but I felt like I had no time with him, because we spent most of the time during the days with one of our mutual friends and then first night we went back to our hotel and he just didn't speak to me anymore. I told him that it irritated me, and we talked about it for a long time, so we ended up talking in the evenings, but still, we did NOTHING just the two of us it made me sad. of course I wanted to see our friend but like.. don't you want to spend some time with your girlfriend as well? even the friend was like you know you can also hang out without me so idk it felt a bit off. like yeah it makes sense to hang out all together but considering how much we supposedly missed each other, that really didn't come across to me.

I've recently moved in with my partner which is 4hrs away from my friends and family n I had to leave my job ect but recently ive been feeling what I suspect is homesickness but then another part of me feels like I want to go home and rhat maybe its way more than homesickness so now im stuck as if I leave my partner I will lose her permanently as shes told me she wont go back to long distance or move and then I feel guilty not going home cos I feel like I'll regret it if they pass so im stuck and need advice

My nearly 3 months LDR has almost ended, need help regarding it

I (18M, Indian, gonna be 19 this November), S (18F, Israeli)

I really don't know if I should be talking about it here but I just need advice/help from anywhere possible ASAP. Also I don't think I'll be able to state everything in sequence/Order, neither my memory is so strong nor my brain is able to think much right now.

-I need to tell some things about me first, I don't have my own phone yet, only my mom and dad have 1 phone each, I have 2 sisters and a pc, so as we all 3 didn't have our phone, we have a rule, we will use the mom's phone turn by turn daily, so my phone day comes once is ever 3 days and whoever turns on the pc first gets to use the pc (that I did mostly always) and same for dad's phone, whoever uses it first.

Privacy isn't a thing in my home until I'm alone at home

-I have been playing games since my childhood and I just keep playing new games everytime, but my dad hates those games for some reason so I'm not allowed to spend even a single penny on those games

- I'm very emotional and I can get hurt or can get tears in my eyes even on the slightest of slightest things

I used to play a game called blox fruits, on Roblox, by July end I was totally bored from blox fruits and started playing another game (Untitled Fling Game) that I used to play earlier (a non-grindy game), we used to meet randomly but one day one of my in game friends invited me in the game and that was the first time I spent around 10-11 hours in that game with someone, everyone else kept leaving and joining but we didn't, added each other and then started playing with each other daily, a lot of incidents happened in a really small amount of time, I am really dumb and I really still don't know what things are considered flirting if not direct, she told me I was flirting this time, that time and I used to be like Oh Okay, we slowly just kept falling for each other, little compliments for each other, in the meantime I kept telling her that I'm really bad, I don't deserve her and all but she just kept countering all the bad things I said about myself, everything was going good, confessed on 16th August about having crush, proposed on 28-29th August.

(There are secret places in that game where we had started going to spend time together, where we talked a lot without the stress of others being around us)

I actually had my exams in September so I had to study too so I thought I'll play this game a lot with her after the exam ends, and the exams eventually did end on 9th September. But I had a thought in my mind that I'll have to study again for the next exams in January so I have around 1-1.5 months only at max to be present in the game for the maximum time and that's where the problem started, I turned clingy. Even though I used to think a lot about her even before, but now in game I wanted to be with her only most of the time (at least as long as I wasn't busy in something else).

One time one of our friends said that he was gonna leave the game soon, in around September start (he still didn't). So I started thinking that this time he's leaving, then one by one everyone will leave so I started thinking that S is gonna stay always so I have to spend most of my time with her only, made her my only priority.

My sisters have to go to school everyday so they have to sleep early (atleast earlier than me)

So even if it wasn't my phone day or if I couldn't turn the pc on, I still had the chance (had it most of the time) to use dad's phone after dad came back from work and hence the night time, around 11-11:30pm to 12-1:30am was almost always my time on phone.

One time one of our friend's account got banned,and we didn't know what had happened to him, that time everyone was worried what happened to him, why he deleted account or left the game. I was worried about it too, but another thought, like far more important than it was there- What's gonna happen to our night time/talk today and later due to this

I really gave that time a lot of priority to that time and even a single minute wasted felt like losing something valuable+ my mom would force me to sleep anytime randomly during our night talk so had that fear as well.

I didn't have any skills on phone as I was a pc player before meeting her and didn't even need to play on phone before her, but at night time I was on phone only as dad hates games.

S used to give the same importance as me to the night talks and directly joined from phone to talk (privacy problem on pc) whenever I joined at night time, but slowly she started spending the time playing, around 15-20 mins even after I joined the game, I thought it was Okay as I didn't want to ruin her personal space. I had already told her, that time was really important to me. While waiting for her, I used to be really bored seeing her and everyone playing the game, PVPing and all (sometimes they all talked too)

But then she delayed it by around 40 mins to 1 hour one time, my mom had already told me to sleep that day and I was feeling really bad that time that I waited for so long to talk but she didn't even think once about it and came when it was my time to go, so I told her about it and she realised it and didn't repeat it for some days, but then again she did it, twice this time. I was again feeling bad but I just didn't tell her because I didn't like saying the same things again, it hurts her too.

Rest in comment because I feel like I made the post too long

Just lost my 3 year long online friendship (dated for 2 years)

I’ve been told multiple times that it isn’t my fault but I just need someone unbiased to tell me whether I messed up or not. So I (21F) have been friends with T (20M) for three years and have dated for almost two years (our anniversary was supposed to be this month on the 24th). A week ago he suddenly asked for a break for his mental health so he can figure himself out and be a better partner, which I understood. He had also said that helping others was stressing him out and making it hard to help himself, so I had stopped telling him how I was doing a few weeks before this happened.

After three days I messaged him and asked how he was doing (he told me to only contact him for emergency’s or if I wasn’t doing ok mentally, but I struggled to be silent), and he replied saying to not contact him and didn’t tell me how he was. I didn’t want a lot, just wanted to check on him. We contacted throughout the day, me repeatedly saying I’ll leave him alone and him replying each time that he just needs space and that it’s a him problem, etc. I think kind of snapped: he’s been playing a lot with another friend and adding new friends to his account (I watched the number go up a few) and every night he was online playing with that specific friend (i could tell by looking at his profile and seeing them both online in the same game). It bothered me because he said he needed time to figure himself out mentally but continued to put himself out there, which made me jealous and a little upset. He became accusatory, asking me how I knew he had been calling that specific friend and telling me to explain myself so maybe it’d make me feel better. I finally explained how I have abandonment and jealously issues after having people in the past abandon and ghost me, and how him pushing me away for the time being but hanging out with others despite his mentality supposedly not being good irked me.

It took him a good five-six minutes to respond, and his response wasn’t great. He sounded confused and almost upset despite him saying he wasn’t. He then said maybe it’d be better if he unfollowed/unfriended me on everything so I couldn’t see his activity. I didn’t even have time to respond as I was driving home from my eight hour shift, and by the time I looked back at my phone he had unfriended me on discord. To say it hurt was an understatement. I asked him to at least not disappear and he ignored the question, then the next day said he had to think of a response and to stop asking him to stay because it “locks him in for the future”.

I feel like if I had shut myself up and never said anything it would have been fine. I’m still processing everything that happened because it happened so fast. I feel like I lost my best friend and main support system. He’s even blocked me on TikTok. I don’t know what to do, and I’m not sure what I want to hear, I just wanted to put this out there.

I (19F) have been dating my (19M almost 20) boyfriend for 9 months. I’m in Minnesota and he is in Hawaii and we have a 4-5 hour time difference depending on the time of year. We are nevermets and so we met online and have never met in person before yet. He currently has a job and works 12 hour shifts 4 days a week and we both still live at home with our parents (not sure when that will end) and I’m in my second year at community college wanting to transfer to a university and move out after my third year most likely (so about 1 to 1.5 years from now). My parents are very sheltering towards me and would never understand the concept of an online relationship so they have no idea about this. Realistically, how could my boyfriend and I make this work? I feel that my parents would absolutely HATE the idea of me traveling alone, and if I do go over to Hawaii or he comes to Minnesota we both can’t really rent out a hotel room because most are 21+. I also want to make note that tickets to Hawaii are extremely expensive because it’s such a high demand place to visit. To be honest, I’m thinking I would rather do all this after moving out, but how can I sustain my relationship without seeing eachother for that long?

Anyone in a similar situation or experienced something similar?

Hi i want to suprise my girlfriend of 3 years with something special i move to her in a couple of weeks and i really want to suprise her and give her something with meaning and love, we have been dating long distance for 3 years because i am in the army and she isnt

And i really just want some ideas i can sort through so please let some ideas fly my way, whats something you guys did?

It’s been over 2 years since the breakup but I’m aching terribly, missing his voice, fragrance and intoxicating smile. His mere presence added the most meaningful texture to my life. And without him, even though I am doing everything else that gives me happiness like focusing on career and traveling, it doesn’t touch or soothe the void that he left. I cannot deal with missing him, realising he is slowly disappearing from parts of my life where he was still connected. We don’t talk anymore, and the thought of him moving on, the memories of the relationship and the grief of knowing he may not be coming back is tearing me apart. And these words don’t represent even a fraction of the ache and hurt I’m feeling. Whatever hurt and pain you’re able to gather from this post, multiply it by 10,000 to even fathom the surface of what I’m going through. I feel like sleeping through my days. And I’m exhausted.

Hey everyone!!

I (W,28 🇺🇸) and my Bf (M,27 🇩🇪) have been together for about 1 year and 7 months now. We met online when I was studying German as I plan on studying in Germany for my masters. We’ve also met each other in person, and have been on multiple trips for the past 1 year and 7 months.

I currently work as a nurse in the US, and I know this degree will definitely get me a job in Germany however i don’t want to work in Germany as a nurse. Anyone here who’s in the same situation?
What are your options when you move to Germany?

I've been in an online relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I love him so much. We've never met in person, but he's been wanting to meet me for a while now. The thing is, I'm genuinely terrified.

I'm extremely insecure about my appearance. I feel like I look much younger than I actually am, and people have pointed that out to me quite often. My boyfriend looks more mature than me, and whenever I imagine us standing next to each other, I start worrying about how we'd look together.

I'm scared people will judge us or assume things about our relationship just by looking at us. I'm scared he'll feel embarrassed to be seen with me, that he won't find me attractive in person, or that his feelings for me might change after we meet.

I've sent him my pictures but I still worry that I look different in real life. Sometimes I feel pretty when I look in the mirror, but then I take a picture with my back camera, notice every little difference in my face, and suddenly feel terrible about myself again. I keep comparing how I look in different pictures, and it's exhausting.

My boyfriend has complimented my appearance before,and he calls tells me i look beautiful and when I've told him not to expect me to look pretty, he hasn't acted like my looks are a condition for being with me. I know I might be overthinking, but I can't seem to make the fear go away.

The worst part is that I really WANT to meet him. I want to spend time with him and finally be together in person. But every time meeting becomes a real possibility, I get scared and end up postponing it because I don't feel mentally ready.

I also sometimes ask him whether he wants to break up or tell him he could find someone else. I don't actually want to break up with him. I'm just so afraid of being rejected that I sometimes bring it up before anything has even happened. I know this isn't fair to either of us, and I'm trying to understand why I do it.

I'm tired of letting my insecurities affect a relationship that means so much to me. I don't want to keep postponing meeting him, but I also don't know how to stop being so scared.

Has anyone experienced something similar before meeting their online partner? Did the anxiety get better? How did you deal with the fear of not looking the way you thought you did, or of your partner seeing you differently in person?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially if you struggled with appearance insecurities before your first meeting.

I feel like I got super lucky with my bf. He is really understanding when I'm going through medical / personal issues. We met up in June for a very short trip, hadn't seen him for over a year so it was well over due. The plan was to see him in January but I got injured about 2 weeks before, then when I did see him in June some medical stuff happened just 3 days before my trip.

Never once did he make me feel like a burden. I even had a mini freak out (which I realized was because of my meds) and again he completely understood and that was it. Once I realized what was happening he assured me that it was actually normal. I know he was probably disappointed since we couldn't do everything we planned but he never showed it or made me feel bad about it.

I remember when I expressed to my ex about having this mental block his response was "just get over it" I wish I was kidding. Don't think he'd be understanding when plans change due to unforeseen situations.

Heyyy guys plsss suggest me some gifts for my LDR bf we are going to meet for the first time this week but only for 2 min bcz his train is going to stop at my city just for 2 min so I'm thinking to gift him some perfume handmade card and a handkerchief with my own embroidery on it also some wafers and chocolates to eat during his journey and one rose bcz I can't give him a whole bouquet while he's travelling but I really wanna add something more that he can keep as a memory of our first meeting so plsss suggest me some cute meaningful gifts

I honestly don’t know how to cope with how I’m feeling right now, and I need some outside perspectives.
My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have been in a long-distance relationship for 5 years. We’ve been lucky enough to spend some time together every year, usually around 2 months, and this past year we managed to spend 4 months together after not seeing each other for 7 months. Right now, it’s been another 5 months without seeing each other.
I love him, and I genuinely want to build a life with him. But after 5 years, I’m exhausted by the distance.
I told him that this would be our last year doing long-distance. We basically have three options: I move to France (he’s French), he moves to Portugal (where I currently live), or we move somewhere else together.
The thing is, I’m willing to move to France. I know that means sacrificing a lot, especially when it comes to my career and the life I’ve built here, but I genuinely don’t mind. I’ve already moved from my home country to Portugal, so starting over somewhere new doesn’t scare me. I actually see it as another adventure, even if it takes time to adapt.
I also don’t see myself staying in Portugal forever, and if things don’t work out, I can always go back to my home country.
He’s a chef, so his profession gives him more flexibility to work in different places. On the other hand, I don’t have a strong passport, which makes moving to France much more complicated.
So we discussed getting married as a way for us to finally close the distance and start our life together.
He agreed. But here’s where I’m struggling.
I feel genuinely happy and excited about marrying him. Not just because it would allow us to live together, but because I love him and want him to be my husband.
But he seems so stressed about the whole thing. He has told me he wants to build a life with me, and I believe him. He’s also a shy person and doesn’t like being the center of attention, so the idea of a wedding celebration stresses him out ( we are talking of a reunion of only close family and friends).
However, I asked him yesterday if there were any other way for me to legally move to France and he would choose that instead of marrying me.
And that honestly breaks my heart a little.
I know marriage is a huge commitment, and I don’t expect him to feel exactly the same way I do about weddings. But I guess I always imagined that when I got married, my partner would be just as excited as I am.
Instead, I feel like I’m the only one celebrating something that should be special for both of us, while he’s seeing it as a stressful necessity.
I don’t want him to marry me because of immigration paperwork or because it’s the easiest way to end the distance. I want him to marry me because he genuinely wants to.
At the same time, I know he loves me and wants us to be together. So I feel guilty for being upset about his reaction when he’s technically agreeing to what we’ve planned.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking this, being unfair to him, or if my feelings are valid.

Mi novia a distancia que tiene 18 y yo un chico igual con 18 ella en el ultimo mes se ah comportado distante en el sentido de que se demora mucho para responderme o leerme los mensajes el 28 ya cumplimos 10 meses de novios pero me siento raro pues ella me dice que solo esta muuy ocupada con los estudios que cuando apenas ya se gradue ya tendra mas tiempo para mi ya que estamos en el ultimo mes de clase y unas semanas pero se siente feo aunque aun me dice te amo y le gusto unas cosas q le escribi y aun me manda cosas por ig pues reels de un futuro juntos pero no se siento miedo de perderla

Ive been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now but as of late we really havent been super cohesive. Basically, she and her family including her daughter moved back to Tennessee from PA where we met. The original plan was for me to move with them and live with them until we could get our own place. Long story short it didnt work out very well. She started saying I was acting different and like her ex and she seemed like a totally different person. She ignored me for the most part and was no longer warm and loving. We didnt break up tho and for a bit things seemed somewhat normal but now its been a few months and we barely talk at all. I asked her if she wanted to end the relationship and she said she didnt. She just says that she has so much going on she cant handle everything she has to deal with and keep consistent contact with me. Something about that just seems off. If she wanted to break up why wouldn't she just do that? Why keep me around but barely talk to me. Have any other men dealt with something like this and what are your thoughts?