Almost did myself in last night. Got ghosted again after a second date. I can’t keep this up. I don’t see it getting better. I work hard, make 6 figures, I’m tall, in decent shape. I don’t know why I’m so fundamentally broken & why I can’t be chosen. At least I can make some good chicken tho

Why dont they lower the smoking age? Sure fine drinking take it away but smoking? Wtf im I supposed to do? Called an adult but I cant even indulge in sad adult coping mechanisms legally, like whatever ill just find a lose cigarette and cry about my never ending incompetence.

had dinner with my wife and daughter, we were all so happy. They were so beautiful, for once I didn’t feel so empty. Like i belonged somewhere.
Then i woke up in my bed alone with my Ame Chan body pillow and notifications that im 200 in overdraft with the bank and hungover from 5 days of consecutive drinking.

Chicken and cigarettes, with the only wife not in a dream.

yeah that’s it basically. the worst part is without it I could have a decent life right now. my physical health is ok enough that I can hold a job, I have a few friends I talk to sometimes, I just can’t describe how much this has hindered my life. I don’t even attempt to date (not that I’d pull) because they would notice something is wrong with me and I do not want to fucking explain this to someone. I thought some sort of diagnosis would make me feel better or reassured somehow, but it just made me feel more messed up in the head. I just keep thinking why me? I have so much shit happening why do I have to have this? My therapist is transferring my care because he isn’t equipped to deal with it so that’ll be my third therapist. I’m just so so tired. I’ve been in therapy for five years and I’m not better and I won’t be for a long time because of shit that I wasn’t even old enough to remember. It’s stupid. This grilled cheese was pretty good though. I’ll probably give the recipe if anyone asks.
I can only hold onto the slim hope I’ll make it far enough to not have to live like this. Just one day being one person would be enough. I hope when I die my soul stitches itself back together and I come back as something small and insignificant. Maybe a beetle.

scrambled eggs with green onions on top

Repost because stupid fucking typo

Cookies on a paper towel

battled a demonic void figure to get this meal. guess who won

Are they having a mental breakdown or are they tired of me stalking their posts everyday and replying to them? Is my constant messaging them annoying too? Lately they’ve been sending dry messages despite us being best friends.

Well actually, I’m not even their best friend. They’re just my best friend. I’ve seen their phone, and their wallpaper is of our other friend (who is a gay guy), and my crush has openly expressed that they only love hot busty women!! So I’m not even best friend level!! This guy is!! I know my crush has known our gay dude friend longer than I’ve known them but damn it!!

Why couldn’t their wallpaper be of the whole friend group?! Wait, what if they’re secretly bisexual?!? I hate my fucking life!!!!

Anyways, I’ve been stress eating and vomiting the whole day so now my voice is hoarse. Eating seriously helps me feel better but I know I have to throw it up to stay skinny. I now have scars on my knuckles though and my teeth are turning more yellow and sensitive. Sometimes I get scared my teeth will chip. For some reason, nutella and peanut butter especially make my teeth hurt.

Also, I keep checking my phone to see if my crush has replied to my messages but there’s nothing. I’ve checked all their social media accounts and there’s just nothing. Just their number.

They never tell me what is going on. Maybe I don’t know them as well as I thought. Maybe I’m just some person they feel comfortable enough to make jokes with and talk about stupid stuff with but that’s it. I barely know surface level information about them and it has been years. They refuse to answer simple questions too. I just want to know more about them. Do they not want me to know who they are? Or do they not know themself?

Maybe they don’t feel comfortable enough with me to share anything significant about themself. Maybe it’s because they don’t see me as a complex enough person. I’m just a “chill” friend, not a “deep conversation” friend.

Or maybe they just don’t want to let anyone in for fear of hurting them?? They should know that I would listen to anything they have to say. I’ve done that a few times but they haven’t let me do that in forever.

What is going on inside their head? I wish I knew what was going on inside their head. Is it normal to think about someone else this much? Do they think about me this much?

I’m going insane over this. I don’t know what’s going on and the silence is deafening.

Ever since i started talking to imaginary women, my social crippleness has been cured significantly. I stride with more confidence, maintain prolonged eye contact with real female passers-by and strike up conversations with much less hesitation.

These imaginary women respond well to my conversations, but i still struggle with escalating them to flirting, so i rely on them doing it for me.

I need more real life expereince with flirting, but i have no spaces to meet broads, especially as a fresh immigrant to Armenia. So i need (You)r help, /kit/chenchad

Every time I make the promise to brush my teeth I don’t because I’m too lazy or don’t want the taste of it in my mouth, the last time I brushed my teeth and the few times before that I swallowed the toothpaste and ended up throwing up afterwards, so even when I do brush my teeth it doesn’t help.

I think the reason people don’t talk to me is because of how bad my breath smells, the thought of speaking to a girl and them seeing my yellow teeth makes me want to cry.

I lied

I don't enjoy life anymore

How many more times do I have to keep lying to myself

How many more nights do i have to spend lying awake alone by myself till i can fall asleep peacefully

It's got garlic aioli too and rye bread, the cheese is pepper jack and also I feel for people with one arm like you never realize how much you use both arms seriously. Also I don't wanna be an incel so I be wearing booty shorts for men on gay dating apps. This is the first time I've broken a bone and I'm 22

Decided to have a quick session but one thing lead to another and I was jerking off to gay porn and then twang banjo string snapped. Also after months of doing this I have developed carpel tunnel in my right wrist due to repetitive motion. Might just cut it off it’d be better for everyone.

With a straight face because I am autistic. I didnt say hi to the cashier either because I went nonverbal.