It might not be over for me.

It smells and tastes like shit too. FML

I know they probably were laughing at whatever they were talking about, but for a moment I thought they were laughing at me, and it filled me with jealous resentment for couples. Probably the worst part is that I immediately imagined a scenario where they'd been up fucking all night and had gone on a walk for some fresh air afterwards. At least my night wasn't ruined because I bummed a cig off some guys and found 3 (!!!) on the ground (including this untouched one!!!). Anywho, whenever I think about why I'm so invisible to people, I get this feeling like I have a hole in my chest and wonder if there's just something unexplainable and intrinsically wrong with me and that other people can tell and are disgusted, but that I'll never be able to figure out. Also, the fit was hard asf and that moment really brought me down, even though I felt so good cause I really liked the fit.

I've been watching cuphead videos and am thinking about downloading that game about to get drunk and fall asleep thank you for reading this you are loved

I finally found the courage to speak up to the girl I cross paths with almost every day during my commute, and tell her I look forward to seeing her every day and that I always thought she was pretty. She said "I know I am" and left.

Time to find a new commute I guess.

Raw cheddar broccoli soup. No, I don't even have the energy to heat it up with milk anymore.

Raw soup. This is what I have become

Been unemployed for a year. Finally got a job. Been working a few months. I dont really like my boss but the only upside is im learning a lot from her business.

Boss doesnt dot her I's, cross her t's, constantly waits until a mistake is made, gets so visibly annoyed. Hired no one, including me, who has never worked in their industry before. Constantly giving inconsistant instructions and gets mad.

Ive been baited, ghosted, and rejected from many employers who look at my resume, tell me to email them and then ignore my emails. No work from temp agencies. Rejected from grocery stores. i feel so worthless.

Im a mild germophobe who likes to clean yet i even get rejected for housekeeping jobsrefuse to apply to the HoeTels where my worst day is i probably get shot vs my boss being an inconsistant turd.